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Question 3020
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Title: My ex of 2 years texted me today and I feel even more lonelier.
Text: She just sent me picture of a mug I gifted her maybe 5 years back and wrote: "Found this. It's my new tea mug. Thank you!"
I barely ever receive any texts and receiving one from her just threw me back to the time when I wasn't struggling to get through a day. I wanted to talk to her more but tomorrow, I would be lonely again. And if I talked to her tonight, I won't be able to get through the day tomorrow. I will want more of her and I can't get that.
I know many of you won't get it. And it's okay. I wouldn't be here if I had someone to text. I'll probably remove this post tomorrow. But at least for tonight, after this post, I might be able to sleep.
Also, even if this reaches one person, thank you for hearing me out. Maybe you made me go through another day in life. Thank you. ❤️
EDIT 1: You guys are literally a blessing. Ffs 😭❤️
EDIT 2: Next day after this happened, I happen to get my first silver award. Love ya, stranger! 🙌
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3021
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Title: It finally caught up to my ex!!!!
Text: I was with him for five years, I hadn't seen him in four, and now he is getting three years in prison for three different criminal charges for hitting his girlfriend with a gun. I'm not sorry for celebrating his incarceration, and can't help but laugh at it.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3022
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Title: Is this rape?
Text: I was going through a breakup and I felt super alone and vulnerable anyways this guy message me and he made me feel comfortable to open up about my relationship and he would send me music to listen to make myself feel better and one day I finally told him I’ll meet with him so I drove to his house and he said do you want to smoke and I said yes so we did and he kept telling me about his past relationship and he was telling me he was raped at young age by a man and that is why he is bisexual and I told him I had similar situation and for hours we were talking and I told him I’m very sleepy and he just told me want to have sex and I said oh I don’t have a condom do you and he said no and I said well then I don’t want to and he just kept pressuring me to say yes and he kept trying to take my shorts off and I told him I do not want to I rather have a condom and he didn’t listen so he kept touching me and he said see you are wet and you like it and I stood there quiet and allowed him to proceed and he raped me and I felt a off body moment and I told him please stop and he did… and I went to the bathroom to wash off and I wanted to go home but he kept trying to get me to stay but later in the day his family woke up so I knew it was good chance to leave and I did..
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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rape_past
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Question 3023
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Title: feeling really empty and lonely lately but embracing it unfortunaly
Text: I guess. A lot of people here feel the same but i need to put some things thats are deep in my heart out there , would be nice to vent for once..
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3024
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Title: Sexual harassment at work because I’m attractive according to my company.
Text: I’m having a bit of trouble with coworkers, I’m 20 years old working in a male dominated environment and work with clients who visit around the world at a resort. The problem I’m faced with is not the clients but my coworkers I’ve been sexually harassed 4 times for example(had a guy get behind me and grind on my back, another caressed my inner thigh while there was a stain from something asking if I was on my period, then the most recent one was being slapped with a towel on my thigh where I yelled to not touch me and he asked why)
and assaulted twice by a flying object being thrown at me, I’ve reported incidents to HR and my boss and asked why this keeps happening they said it’s because I’m attractive and alone most of the time, and due to COVID it has changed a lot of behaviors in people. I don’t think it’s a valid excuse, since I’m suffering with health problems due to extreme stress and now dealing with body insecurity issues thinking I don’t want to be attractive since I’ll be a magnet for most abuse.
I’m planning on getting out of there to hopefully start my career path, but is there anyone that can offer me tips to get over this trauma?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 3025
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Title: Does love/relationships feel foreign to you?
Text: Have you not been in a relationship or haven’t had one for so long that the concept of being loved romantically feels off or impossible?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3026
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Title: Why do you do it?
Text: I sh myself and now that I've been asked my my mom why I sh I told her that it was insecurities and school stuff but I don't think that's actually why I do it. I've been asking myself why I do it and I just can't find an answer. I only know why I started. So if you don't mind answering why do you sh? (You don't have to share ofc <3 stay safe)
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 3027
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Title: Struggling right now
Text: I'm just really struggling right now, wish I was not so lonely, wish I had a family. I wish I was not mentally ill. I have bee. Getting comfortable with suicide more and more as time passes, I have picked out my method written my suicide note, I am ready to move on this world was cruel
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 3028
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Title: What’s the point of going on if you can’t appreciate what you have, and you can’t get what you want?
Text: It keeps coming down to this question. Ending it all sounds better to me than settling.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 3029
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Title: Locked my abusive alcoholic husband out and called the police on him
Text: So tonight he got drunk and wanted to go out at 10:15pm. Our country is in lockdown and curfew is at 10pm until 6am. If you are caught outside after curfew you are taken to a quarantine facility for 2 weeks with no warning. I locked the door and hid the key so he wouldn't go out taking our joint card with him which has all our money on it. He pinned me by my neck and went to bite my face but got my hand instead. I couldn't get him off my hand and now it hurts like a bitch but he got what he wanted I unlocked the door and let him go. I then locked it behind him and called the police to make them aware he's outside and that he can be highly aggressive. Im messaging friends and family to ask for money to get food in as we have a young child whos 13months old. Luckily baby was asleep and didn't notice any of this happening. For the past 3 years I have endured abuse from him and tonight was the last time. I don't want my baby seeing this, I don't wanna go through this anymore.
I'm scared to leave but if I stay I'm terrified he'll eventually kill me.
I just needed to let this out while I calm down and I needed to have it in text to prove that he's never going to change and I owe my baby and myself better than this.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_ongoing
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Question 3030
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Title: Bi polar/intellectual disability
Text: I have an 18-year-old daughter, who goes to a special-needs school here in Pennsylvania. During a bus ride home she supposedly assaulted someone who was 15. My daughter is saying she did not touch him and the school bus driver doesn’t report any disturbances and said there is approximately seven children on the bus. I also called the bus depot to see if there was camera footage and they couldn’t provide any. The father of the boy that she supposedly punched, called the police and said because Amerah was an adult they would like her charged. I just got papers in the mail, charging her with simple assault and harassment. She is barley able to have conversations with adults I’m wondering how to handle such a situation.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3031
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Title: what's the worst thing about having emotional numbness?
Text: mine personally is probably being in relationships because it's hard to show affection
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3032
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Title: Does involving justice anger them more ?
Text: It's been 2 years with my abuser.
He was very violent, verbally and physically.
It was (seemingly) out of jealousy, since he thought I desired every single human we came across.
He hit me, punching me (most times right in the face) but also used batons, hifi speakers and other objects like throwing a metallic cd tower like a javelin in my back ; slammed doors repeatedly on my legs ; used my own squared-heeled shoes against my face ; sequestered me in a room, randomly appearing with a big kitchen knife, kicking me in spots where I lost my breath, and hitting all of my body with the flat of the knife and making stab movements next to me ; severed my lips while punching me with rings ; dragged my by the hair to the floor to hit with his shoe over my head ; etc... for you to see what he's up to...
I'm gone for good even if I awfully miss him (or at least his lovable, and probably fake part) and have issues going no contact.
The thing is...
- He stalks me. Goes repeatedly everywhere he learns that I have been, even once. One time he followed me through half the town and I didn't see him even if checking regularly behind me, and he just spawned next to me when I entered a park. Another time, I found him in the dark, just before my entry door, not knocking or anything, just being silent and creepy.
- He constantly threatens me : of killing me in various ways, of burning my home, but also of causing me a handicap, of putting me in a coma, of disfiguring me (which frightens me since he already started with that scar across both of my lips).
He is so good at manipulating people that his ex wife, who went to justice, was said to be hysterical, and SHE was the one to get a restraining order to not go and bother him !!!! Like, can you believe that ?
A few days ago he showed up, sweet, with a bottle of rhum to share some good time. I didn't open and he went mad, immediately talked about my phone calls (I guess he expected to inspect my phone later that night, and he always hit me if a male friend messaged me) and threatened to crush the door and then me.
I called the cops, for the first time, as he was continuously ringing on the doorbell.
He saw them, but I'm not sure they saw him.
He told me : *"If you raise it to that level, I have to raise the level too. (.....) It's coming."* . Threatening to destroy me and my (imaginary) lovers or friends who sided with me. Then went completely silent for the next days.
Does involving the justice, file a complaint, really will make things better ?
- Firstly, I never wanted to harm him even if he keeps saying I'm making efforts for things to end badly... I feel very, *very* bad knowing I would send someone to jail... Someone I loved.... How to cope with the idea that it is not attacking him ?
- Secondly, I'm afraid that if anything like jail happens to him, it would make me his biggest enemy, and that he would not let go... whereas I would stand a chance that he forgets me if I just hide while he finds a new prey.... Wouldn't court make him hate me even more than he already does ?
- Thirdly I want this to end, not engage in a long battle where my words could be doubted or twisted again but by justice this time, I'm sick of those pointless battles. Plus it's a battle where everyone loses.... And sometimes they don't even warn you when the monster goes out of jail.
It feels like leaving my life behind and moving hundreds of kilometers away is the only solution... But I don't have the money to do so and I wanted to finish a diploma....
Please, if anyone had a terrorist partner like this, did you file a complaint ? Did it really help, or did you feel even more endangered, because it made him angrier ?
*Did you find peace ? Did the peace last ?*
Thank you in advance for your answers.
Wishing you all the best.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_ongoing
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Question 3033
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Title: What should she do?
Text: This isn't me but one of my internet friends. I don't really want to get into deep specifics as I am worried that he could see this as he does use reddit. My friend (23F) and her BF got into a disagreement in which ultimately ended with her BF physically assaulting her, think black eye and swollen lip, pretty horrible shit. Not to mention this was after he kicked in the door and while dragging her out of the bathroom and around the house ripped some of her hair out. While the solution may seem obvious, (file police report and go stay with friends or family) she and her BF have a 5 digit lease on an apartment that she could never pay off without her BF in her current financial situation. Even if her BF decided to pay it off so she could leave, she would be homeless as she doesn't really have anyone else to stay with or any money for another apartment. How should she go about this as to escape both her BF and the financial trouble posed by her apartment lease? I can reveal more information as needed.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3034
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Title: 9 years.
Text: 9 years of depression!
Can we get to double digits?
Haha. Things can't really get any worse for me. It's just a wait until they get better. Can't believe my depression is older than a good percentage of people on the planet.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3035
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Title: [NSFW] Didn't think I'd ever say this but my dick is bleeding.
Text: Was (am) kinda drunk and cutting a bit and one slash to the right thight slipped a bit and the result is *a bleeding dong*. Fortunately it's nothing serious. Actually got a bit of a laught out of this after bandaging it.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 3036
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Title: My alternative to cutting
Text: So instead of cutting I started painting my nails. It helped me feel better and it felt like I was just painting on a minni canvas. When I got stressed I would peal at the nail polish instead of cutting and I painted it back when I was sad.
Unfortunately, it became very obsessive behaviour and I began damaging my nails. So I had to find something else.
So I bought myself a kalimba!! It's so easy and fun to to learn songs!! It's soft music is very soothing and I quite like it c:
Also y'all look lovley today <3
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_past
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Question 3037
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Title: I don’t want to die but I have no desire to live neither
Text: Trying to figure out the meaning of being alive if everything made you has gone?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 3038
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Title: For everyone whose partner abused them when no one was watching.
Text: When no one was watching, or in the silence, or when everyone left, or when you were on a dark street, or only when you two were alone. You were definitely confused thinking, "it must be me, I caused this." Because you are so confused why they treat everyone better than you.
Good people don't hurt others behind closed doors.
No, we may not see their "karma" come back around for them but just rest assure that a good person doesn't have two sides to them. You'll never be confused about a good person.. they would never blame their mistreatment of you on you.
good people don't do that. So wherever you are in your healing just know right now that a good person does not abuse others in secrecy.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3039
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Title: Succumbing to alcoholism is my form of suicide.
Text: It’s the best way I deal with my autism. Everything I do comes across as natural as I’m completely anxiety-free when I’m drunk. I’m full of confidence and wanting to socialize with everyone. Only when I’m tipsy does anyone love me, the only time I can make friends who don’t think of me as a burden.
Without alcohol, it feels like I’m trapped in a cage, where everything else do is awkward and weird-looking. Where nobody likes me.
Why commit suicide when I can just drink myself to death? I’ll wait until I choke in my sleep or succumb to alcohol poisoning. At least I’ll go out on my own terms, at least everyone will like me before dying.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 3040
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Title: lead technician made me feel uncomfortable today. what's the best course of action?
Text: As I was changing in the locker room, the lead technician made a comment about how I could get with a person at work.
I'm pretty sure she may have a crush on me and she acts flirty most days so that's probably why he said it but it made me feel really uncomfortable especially since other co-workers were around and heard.
I am not at work to make friends/start romantic relationships and I need my job.
I have no patience for this kind of "locker room talk" and I want to reach out to my HR just to cover myself. The lead who said it doesn't usually have a problem with me, and I am always good with him. He crossed the line and I want to report it because other people heard it and rumors spread like crazy at my job.
If she does have a crush on me, and heard we were talking about her she could try to get me in trouble when I was minding my business getting ready to leave for the day.
I need my job and I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at my job over incidents like this.
What should I do? ( My manager is basically useless so reporting to him will get me nowhere)
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 3041
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Title: What’s it like having people that actually give a shit about you?
Text: .
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3042
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Title: How to stop self-sabotating professionally?
Text: Hi everyone,
I had a rough time this year because I realized I didn't want to continue the career I have been working on for almost eight years at this point (1 year on one graduation closely related that I left, 5 concluding a graduation and 2 years on masters). I'm 26 yo, almost 27. I won't state which career is that because I don't want to demotivate any possible aspirants, which has happened before. I lost my desire to work with it because the routine is really overwhelming, the payment is not fair (terrible for the most part), and there are a lot of limitations regarding living conditions, dignity and personal security.
I took some vocational tests, did a lot of research, and realized my best option would be to follow the career as an artist working with digital art, animation, modeling, etc. The issue is that I'm still really an amateur at it, and since my childhood I have been self-sabotating myself about this possibility, always giving up thinking I'm bad. I consider I have significant creativity and a keen eye due to my previous jobs that required a lot of observation and visual description, but not that much practice on drawing or painting itself. I'm trying every week, did some drawing which people around complimented a lot, but still... I'm nowhere near a professional, some which are way younger. I get bummed out imagining how much I have to work to establish a new path, and I lose motivation, leading to depression and anxiety.
I'm currently unemployed after 6 years in a row having some money on my own due to doing academic funding. I had some really heavy stuff happening at my personal life, so, trying to cope, I spent my savings after some months... which were not that much, tbh. I have tried applying to some companies around here, but didn't get a single job, making me feel like I'm worthless. My parents are helping me out. They have a good amount of money, and told me they will pay a 2 year graduation on graphic design until I can stabilize financially again... but that puts a lot of shame on me because I'm way too old to rely on my parents paying for my living. It just hits really hard on my selfsteem. I'm not sure I should just accept it and focus on my studies or starting working at any shitty job that will hurdle me until I can get a internship just for personal fulfillment.
The combination of not yet being good at what I want to do for a living, losing faith on the career I previously dreamed with, and not having any money on my own anymore at this stage of my life puts me in this position where I get stuck self-sabotaging. I tell myself everyday I will fail at life (or rather am a failure already), and I shouldn't ever try working on anything because I will fail. I really don't know how to focus again and improve myself in a stable manner, so I'm frequently distracting myself from all this anxiety with quick, addictive relieves.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3043
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Title: What do guys/people think about self harm scars during sex?
Text: I do not have really thick or deep scars but they are a little bit visible and I am quite sure that the guy I am seeing saw them last time we had sex (they were kind of reddish as well so it was easier to see). I am kind of afraid of going out with him again for many different reasons that are not related to him, but one thing that’s in my head is that he might try to talk about my sh scars and I won’t know what to do about it. Also, this is the first time that this have happened as no one else had seen my sh before so I am really anxious about it and I am afraid he might think this is a red flag or something else like that.
If someone here (especially guys) have ever been with a girl with sh scars, what did you think/do? Did u talk to her about it or didn’t mention it at all?
For the girls, have you ever been in this situation with a guy? What happened?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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selfharm_past
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Question 3044
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Title: Did I make false allegations?
Text: I've made another post before but I'll make a more detailed one here.
I work with a guy let's call him John.
John came on to me at a work trip when I was in his hotel room having drinks. I said no and that he was married so I didn't want to. He made excuses like he wasn't technically married and kept repeating that he wanted to hug me. I said he was engaged with a baby on the way. He kept asking so I eventually hugged him.
I went back to my room and he followed me. In my room he said he wanted to hug me and that he'd be more comfortable on the bed. I said it was a bad idea and that I didn't want to. He asked again so I just did it. He kissed me and asked me to take off my clothes and I said I didn't want to. I said I was keeping my pants on. I tried to stop kissing him and he asked if it was because he smoked and that he was self conscious that he smelt bad. He said he wouldn't be able to sleep unless he came. I said I didn't want to have sex. He kept saying he wouldn't be able to sleep until he came. He then masturbated on the bed next to me.
He went back to his room.
He came back in the morning and told me he was worried I was going to get him fired for sexual harrassment. I said I wasn't going to put in a complaint but that I didn't want it to ever happen again.
Since then he has continuously asked me to hang out in his hotel room on work trips and I've always said no (written messages). He has also continuously brought up Polyamory and how he doesn't feel that he should have to not be with the mother of his child just because he isn't attracted to her. I have made it clear that I'm not into Polyamory on many occasions.
On one work trip away we were having dinner together (we had to because we only had one vehicle) and he said he hoped that we could have some fun on the trip. I changed the subject to work. He asked me if I wanted to hang out that evening and I said no. He then messaged me that evening and asked again if I wanted to hangout. I said no that I was going to do some work and have a bath. He then sent suggested messages about the bath. I didn't respond. The next morning he was really angry and told me it was because he was embarrassed.
He put his headphones on (while I drove and refused to speak to me). He then acted like a bully for the entire trip. His audiobook that he was listening to then connected to the radio (he said it was on being a good parent) and so I said that sounds interesting, it kept playing and it was on Polyamory.
On the last morning after he was particularly rude to me (he interrupted me very aggressively when I was speaking to a colleague and demanded that we leave the cafe - his coffee hadn't even been made and we had 30 mins to spare) I said that his behaviour was crossing the lines of professional colleagues and that I'd prefer if he could keep the topic on work. He yelled at me and said he never really thought I was his friend anyway. I said this is what I was describing and to please stay focused on work. He then told me he intended on putting in a complaint about our manager on my behalf for harrassment (he gets in my space alot). I said I didn't wish to do that. He said he just didn't feel comfortable working in that kind of a workplace. I said I had no complaint against manager.
He messaged me and apologized for his behaviour on the last trip and acknowledged everything (except the sexual harrassment).
I put in a complaint but I left out the part where he hugged, kissed me and masturbated on my bed.
I kind of felt bad complaining about that part because I didn't feel as though I said no clearly enough and I. also really embarrassed and upset when I think about it. Now I'm worried it will come across as a false allegation because I left it out of my initial complaint (it's been 3 weeks now).
Have I done the wrong thing?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 3045
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Title: How can I support a friend who self harms?
Text: I'm terrible at talking and sometimes I don't know what to say when she's having a bad day or I'm afraid what I said sounds too cold
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3046
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Title: I thought I made a friend.
Text: This happens all the time, I’ll meet someone at work or somewhere and start talking and things seem fine to me. We’d swap numbers and text here and there. But eventually they just stop replying and we stop seeing each other in public. This happens to me all the time. I keep thinking that I’m making a friend and then poof. As if I never existed.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3047
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Title: How to help my sister with her abusive husband
Text:
To set the stage. My sister 30F has been married for ten years to 41M.
A few months into their marriage after she hadn’t gotten pregnant he began talking to a lady that had two kids and he claimed it was because he wanted to help her because she was a single mom but was flirting with her and trying to get with her. Red flag #1. She didn’t leave because she found out she was pregnant a couple weeks later.
They’ve moved to 3 different cities, 6 different counties and multiple different areas to try and get her away from us. If he wanted to move and she didn’t he would yell and scream until she finally gave in and they would pack up and leave. He told her our family doesn’t care about her; that we’re bad people, that no one loves her. That he married her because he felt bad for her, that he did her a favour by marrying her. This is only part of what I know. She is only telling us this now after years and years of this. He abused her mentally and wore her down since the beginning and has begun pushing her and hitting her in the last couple years (that I know of but I believe he’s been doing this longer)
He uses her religiousness against her when it is beneficial to him but disregards the wrong stuff he’s done.
One time he was frustrated with the situation with one of his new girlfriends and beat my nephew who has 5 at the time so hard that he started peeing on himself again. He still does two years later.
This man 250lb and 6 ft 5 at LEAST.
Now to the point of this post. They had finally come back to our city this year in June and we told her that under so circumstances was she going to leave again. I am not sure that if she leaves again that she will ever make it back.
He recently wanted to leave the country again and she told him that he can go and settle in for a year and then they would come and join in. He went and reconnected with his girlfriend there though my sister said this was the last chance and if he did that she would not stay with him.
The problem is now he is coming coming next week and she wants to end the relationship. She feels unsafe. She got cameras and set them up in the house. She has called the non emergency line twice and they told her there’s nothing they can do until he does something. Sheasked how she can get a restraining order and again they said there’s nothing they can do. She is prepared to not be at home when he comes but she doesn’t know how he will react .. what are our options here?
My worry is he will come back and manipulate her back because I do believe she has some Stockholm syndrome from this relationship. I however, can not stand by and allow the kids to live in this situation now that I know he’s been hurting them. He leaves a wire on the ceiling fan and anytime they do something he’s unhappy with he yells and threatens them with it. He pinches her and the kids and claims it’s a joke but leaves bruises. He has threatened to kill her in the past if she ever was to leave.
I told my sister I will call CAS if she stays with him and allows to kids to be around him… it is ultimately her choice what she wants to do but the kids have no choice and I feel awful that they may potentially be abused again if she was to forgive him.. what can i do as an outside observer? The police are no help. He knows where we live and I’m afraid he’ll come here looking for her.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3048
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Title: Short sleeves
Text: Do you wear clothes with short sleeves or no sleeves at all in public?
I understand, that it would be inappropriate in, lets say, working environment, but how about going out for a drink, or just meeting up with friends for a coffee, or simply doing a little walking thing..?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3049
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Title: I don’t want to be alive anymore
Text: I wake up everyday not wanting to be alive. I goto bed praying that I won’t wake up. It’s crippling. I feel like such a failure. I feel like I mess up everything I touch. My relationship with most of my family is a mess and I feel I’ll never find anyone to love me. My grades in school have been going down. I have no motivation to goto work, do schoolwork and I just lay in bed all day being depressed. If we’re being honest the point of life is to just wait around and die. ( oh and work somewhere in between that) I just want to die
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 3050
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Title: there is something left in me
Text: i thought i cut everything out, yet here i always am, looking at the world through what feels like a fake camera. i am not myself. i'm just watching, and when i don't like what i see, which is everything, i cut myself. i used to want to live, and feel like i was the one living, but i gave up on that a long time ago. now i just cut when my inside music gets too loud and my street feeling takes place.
i simply don't want to exist. i don't feel like i really do exist- but i guess i do, sense i'm writing this. my head hurts. i feel so lost in space, the soul that was tethered to my body had it's string cut and now i'm just here? hollow. nothing. i don't think i am anything. is that why i cut? to prove i exist through the pain?
i don't know if i'm really here. i'm floating, i'm dissociating so hard right now i don't know what to do. i'm fucking 16 and i've not done a single good thing in my life
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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selfharm_ongoing, suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 3051
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Title: Was this sexual harassment?
Text: Hi, so recently I've been thinking about something that happened about 2 years ago when I was 15(F). I'm not sure if would be considered sexual harassment but it definitely made me uncomfortable so I'd like to hear someone else's thoughts.
This happened at school very close to the beginning of the year. I don't remember the exact details, which makes me think that I could be exaggerating or something. I was sitting in science class and these 2 boys were sitting next to me. They're the type of people I would consider "popular" and who tend to indirectly pick on other students if they are quiet, weird, different, etc. It was my first year at this school and I was extremely unpopular, very shy and anxious, had no friends, wore unfashionable clothes, and generally stood out as being "weird" (at leasts that's what I think). Basically, I was the exact type of person these 2 idiots would make fun of. I'm just saying all this to make it clear that I was not friends with these boys and the only reason they would ever talk to me would be to subtly make fun of me. Otherwise I was completely invisible to them. Anyways, I was sitting in science class, looking at my phone and minding my business before class started, and they started to drag me into their conversation. Out of nowhere they started to insistently ask me about condoms. More specifically, they were asking me about whether Magnum or Trojan condoms are better. This made me very uncomfortable because they had never talked to me before and these questions were completely unwelcomed. I tried to kind of laugh it off and say "I don't know", but they kept insisting that I answer the question. I just kept trying to focus on my phone to show them I wasn't interested in a conversation. I clearly remember one of them seeming to get frustrated or angry because I wasn't answering and said something like "come on, answer. It's just a question" or something like that. Eventually, the class started and they pretty much never talked to me again. The whole situation made me feel uncomfortable and a bit nauseated. It also felt like they were making fun of me for their own enjoyment as if I wasn't intelligent enough to understand that they were making fun of me, if that makes sense. It's something I've observed them doing to other people.
I've been thinking about this recently because I've been seeing those 2 boys around school and whenever I see them it makes me think of that class from 2 years ago. In one of my classes we have a seating plan that changes every month-ish and just today I've been seated directly next to one of those boys. I'm already very anxious at school for a lot of reasons but when I sit next to him it immediately gets worse and I get even more self-conscious than I already am. I'm sensitive about my personal space, and when he sits in the desk next to me, I feel like he's uncomfortably close to me. He pretty much acts like I'm not there, so hopefully I'll never have to talk to him. Anyways, I'm not sure if that situation would be considered sexual harassment so I'm hoping someone can give me another perspective on it. Looking through this subreddit, I honestly feel a bit out of place posting this because what happened to me seems so minor compared to everything else on here. I know it's not good to compare my problems to other people's, but I just don't want to devalue the term sexual harassment or something. I feel like I'm overreacting or exaggerating in some way, or even bending the truth to make people empathize with me.
Thanks for taking the time to read this :)
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 3052
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Title: is tramadol safe?
Text: I been seeing psychiatrist for over 20 years now.
I tried every medication.
but I am depressed and anxious all the time.
I am currently on cymbalta.
I react to drug very very negatively (side effect)
whenever I take cymbalta my sking gets red, I get pimples, my face swells up. I can't unrinate.
but I take cymbalta because it is the drug with the least side effect.
recently I tried very low does of tramadol(ultracet) for pain. 18.75mg of tramadol.
and it relieved my symptoms immediately.
I am sure it is thank to tramadol.
no other drug has show this effect for me.
I think 18.75mg is fairly small amount.
I am thinking of taking it every three days.
do you guys think it would still mess up my dopamine receptor and etc?
is it as bad as narcotic?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3053
|
Title: Do I have any hope?
Text: 30 years old. Still alone. I don't want to live the rest of my life alone. I'd rather be dead.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 3054
|
Title: So,I really want to die,But I don't want to be so damn scared about it.
Text: I mean,since our polichickens want to get us killed by Russia/China(nuked) I'm really thinking about just ending it myself.
I was really happy reading somewhere that A shot to the head would be painless and be instant death.
But the thing is,I'm too scared. I've had a plan ready to go,but the problem is...Idk if "Certain" things will happen. I just hope I'm not beaten to the punch.
I just want my death to be my own. NOT some shithead politician(Biden,Xi,Putin,ANYONE who has nukes. Fuck them all).
Fear sucks.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 3055
|
Title: Submitted a Clare's Law request against the guy I'm seeing. Got a disclosure yesterday
Text: About three months ago I (23) met this guy (21). The day I met him he told me he had an electronic tag and was in prison until a few months ago due to drug charges. No judgment please, I continued seeing him as I thought lots of people our age do take drugs and he said he was caught with enough cocaine that he was arrested and charged with intent to supply. We got intimate quickly and after a few weeks we went on another date and he told me he lied about why he went to prison.
He told me he went to prison for actual bodily harm he committed on the mother of his child. I was completely shocked as I did not think he was this kind of person. He told me a very detailed account and the short of it was himself and his baby mama planned a date night to try and relight the spark in their relationship. They both got drunk and she tried to leave the hotel and was shouting and he put his hand over her mouth in a panic and tried to get her back into the room. He said during this their legs got tangled and she fell onto her face which caused injuries and he was arrested. He appeared remorseful when telling me this.
Despite my better judgment I continued seeing him and we had a normal progression in our relationship. I felt very safe with him and he spent 4 nights a week at my apartment. I submitted a Clare's Law request for peace of mind and yesterday the disclosure came back.
The police officer called me yesterday. Regarding the incident above, she said when hotel security arrived they observed him on top of her strangling her and hitting her in the face. She was unconscious. The charge was originally attempted murder and was reduced. He has an unlimited restraining order. He has been investigated for harassment and/or violence against two other ex-partners. He has also been arrested for assault on his mother and stepfather on separate occasions. He has also been arrested for possession of a bladed weapon.
I am devastated and feel like an absolute fool. Luckily I have just moved to another city several hours away for university. I need to end the relationship and need advice on how to do so. I have contacted a DV helpline and they have made me an appointment to discuss a risk assessment and a safety plan. I feel awful because I cannot comprehend that he is this awful person. How do I get over this?
TLDR: Clare's Law request was made against my partner. The disclosure revealed a long history of violence and harassment and I am devastated.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
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no_crisis
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Question 3056
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Title: Community focused on harassment of students by professors
Text: r/abuse_by_professors is a community to shed light on incidents of racism, sexual harassment or other abuse by professors. Please share your own experience or crosspost a related story. Students often finds schools are more interested in protecting their reputation than vulnerable students.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3057
|
Title: Lack of empathy and no filter, is this a common theme?
Text: I know someone who was SA’d more than once in their life. This person recently has been struggling with triggers for the past few months. One thing I’ve noticed is a lack of empathy and not having a filter. While the not having a filter has been pretty normal I feel lately it has been a lot. I’m wanting to educate myself to help this person so I ask, are these symptoms frequent?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 3058
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Title: It baffles me how some people have tons of friends, a healthy relationship and a massive family... like HOW?!
Text: I mean, how do they do that? How to you build such a huge loving circle of people?
How phenomenally did I fail at being alive that I have none of that and probably never will?
Happy social people are like a constant mirror of how much of a fuck up I am.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
no_crisis
|
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