		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 50 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Paroxetine
		 (daily)

		   T+ 0:00
		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 15:00
		 1 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Alprazolam
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   110 kg

I am currently stabilyzing my mental health after more than 6 months of Panic Disorder and depression. As I have greatly improved since the beginning of my treatment, I felt ready to try a microdose of LSD and get some innerself perspective. Around 12 hours before this report, I had taken my daily dose of 50 mg of paroxetine.

*Disclaimer: I am experienced at psychodelics, having used from the average beer to Salvia Divinorum. Nevertheless I had never used more than 1.5 tabs of LSD before and it was 6 years since my last psychodelics experience. I do not suggest, advise or encourage the use of any drugs whatsoever for mental health treatment.*

I was at a friend’s house with 4 more friends and my cousin came by with 25 black star microdot he had just gotten. His statement is that each one had around 200 ug of LSD, lab tested, but I can’t confirm this information.

9pm: my cousin gave me half of a leg of the star. No taste. I couldn’t believe how small it was and wondered if I was going to feel anything from that at all.

9h30pm: I decided to ask for another piece as I was suspicious the dose was too low and I wouldn’t feel anything, even more because SSRIs may decrease the potency of LSD trips. I decided to drop 2 more “legs” and the other half the first. If the lab test was correct, it would account for 100 ug and be a mid to high dose and no longer a microdosing.

10h30pm: I started to feel some kick from the LSD. I felt relaxed and started to have some visual distortions, where the plants started to be pulsating. I laid belly up on the floor and felt as if Earth was gently massaging me. I looked up and the shadows of the plants, projected by the light in front of them, created a pattern on the wall and I suddenly realized that this pattern was the woven threads of my life, where each knot represented a choice I had made and the various outcomes of what was and could have been. I looked at my phone to see what time it was and the numbers on the phone were melting but still readable. I spent sometime observing the “history” of my life and the possible outcomes I could have had.

Unknown time: time was already becoming dilated and I can’t say how long it was before I decided to get up. Nevertheless I can say it was not long by putting together the timeframe of the night. At this moment, I had decided I wanted a full blown LSD trip to levels I had never tried before. I asked my cousin to give me the rest of that half microdot and 3 more. He was reluctant at first but in the end gave me

11h45pm: I started to have extreme visual distortions and hallucinations. I wasn’t ready for the level of kick I had. I looked at a friend and his face was completely changed. His eyes were big black hollow dots and his visage appeared  as as if it was one of those plague masks from the middle ages. I uttered I was not feeling well and I was taken by extreme panic. I could barely keep myself at foot. One of my friends sat me down and did a breathing exercise with me until I relaxed and stopped panicking. He told me it was only 15 minutes to midnight and that the drug was kickin in now and I should be aware that the trip was going to increase so the best was to let it take control and enjoy it as fighting it would do me no good. He emphasized that nothing bad was going to happen to me and that they would be with me all the way.

11h45pm to 3h30am: I only know the timeframe because I was told later, but for me it could as well have been an eon. The visuals rapidly increased. Everything started to look like a Monet painting at first, but with shattered pieces that moved independently from one another. After some moments I started to see things in a way that is very difficult to discribe, but I’ll try my best: my view was like it was 2d. I couldn’t say the size of things nor what was just next to me or far away. At the same time everything appeared to blossom in many dimensions, as if all had expanded while the overall had contracted. Movements started to freeze and leave trails in my sight. All of a sudden everything was a big pattern with infinite dimensions. A complete loss of self took over me. I could no longer tell myself apart from the things surrounding me. The same happened for the sounds, where I couldn’t distinguish one specific sound from the other but at the same time they were as if separate notes within the same melody that was being created. Finally all my senses merged and I could feel, see, hear, smell and taste everything. Sound waves propagated in incredible colorwaves with different tastes and smells that I could feel as touching me from a distance, because somehow I was it all.

While closing my eyes I could vividly see landscapes that belong to a sci-fi novel, made of what looked like machines of some sort. At a certain moment I opened my eyes and had visions of ethereal beings that looked like were made of smoke, appearing and disappearing. Despite not being able to tell myself from anything else, it was as those beings were separated entities. I can’t say if those were my friends walking around or part of the halucination.

The enviroment started speaking to me telepathically, as if it was a limb in my body that was sending a signal directly to my brain and it said I was going to get cleaned up and purge all that was making me feel bad. I remember then having a urge to puke and vomited intensively. After this I felt pure and light as if there was no more gravity and my body was  weightless. After this I remember having a sense of self again and “understood” (for a better way of putting it) that I was connected with the whole universe so it could heal me, and now that I was healed, it let me be myself again, as the universe having a humane experience.

I don't remember the specifics of the next part, but I remember being in a totally different enviroment, with all colours shapes and sounds making shifting patterns controlled by a huge fibonacci like fractal that was timespace itself dictating the pace of everything.

3h30am: I was able again to differentiate objects and recognize people, so I got up and had a better balance, even though still feeling weightless. I interacted with my friends but couldn’t say if I was speaking or thinking (was speaking obviously, because they could answer me back) and asked for a glass of water. After a few exchanges and seeing that everything was fine with me, the homeowner and another friend said they were going to sleep. I can’t pinpoint precisely what time it was, but I put 3h30am as they said it was almost 4 am. The rest of my friends that lived closer to me said that they were eager to walk to a bar nearby and have some beers for a couple of hours before going home and asked if I was alright going with them or if I preferred to go home. I decided to come along.

3h30am to 6am: we stayed on the sidewalk next to the bar while my friends were drinking some beers. I didn’t want to drink as I take Xanax as a SOS for panic attacks and it can have potentially dangerous interactions with alcohol. Visuals were still strong but didn’t compare to before. At that moment I could clearly differentiate one object from another even though everything seemed different and changing. Things seemed to move and the stones that made the floor seemed to float. I looked at the sky and I saw as if the stars were shooting balls of light one to another. There was a path of light that ran like a river and up to the lamp posts as if it was the source of their electricity. Sometimes people would speak and I would see letters form in front of them as if subtitles in a movie. At a certain point someone said it was 6 am and everybody agreed to go home.

6 am until afternoon: We took a cab home and the moment the car accelerated it was if I was inside a tunnel of light going at light speed. When the car would stop in the lights, I looked at the asphalt and it was moving and changing as if it was fluid. I arrived home and spent literally hours listening to music and looking at my living room wall. The wall made shapes and figures that got out of them in multiple dimensions. My wife woke up to go to the gym and asked me what I was doing and I said I was tripping high on LSD. She asked if I wanted her to stay but I said it was ok for her to go for her workout. She came back and I was still there at the same spot, looking at an image of the ambient mode of my TV. It was a snowy mountain. I asked her if the picture was changing and she said no. I was seeing as if the snow in the mountain would melt and form a lake and then freeze again, all while changing colors. I could clearly see my wife surrounded by a blue aura. After some time I started to feel some muscular pain in my jaw and legs, which is usually the sign I get that the LSD trip is wearing off.

I started to feel some muscular pain in my jaw and legs, which is usually the sign I get that the LSD trip is wearing off.

 I then decided to go to bed.

I spent some time laying at bed trying to sleep but my mind was still very much working. I decided to take 1 mg of Xanax to see if it would make me sleep. The effects at that point had diminished significantly and the only thing that I could notice on my visuals was that the wall of my bedroom seemed to extend to infinity. Nevertheless, after about an hour or so, I have no idea if related or not to the Xanax, I started to have vivid halucinations once again. (It might as well be the LSD that usually with me feels that it is finishing to then come back out of the blue)

Everything that was electrically related (switches, lamps, plugs) started to have colored magnetic fields around them. A mandala appeared around the lamp in my ceiling. This mandala didn’t follow my point of view. I tilted my head and I saw just a part of it as if it was a painting. Some tentacles the colour of those red wax seals started to come out of the walls and spread a thick wax through all my room, except for a more distant wall. This became like a movie screen where images would pop up like a film but, incredibly, with neon Japanese like subtitles. I kept watching amused all of that. My wife showed in the room and asked if I had hit baseline sobriety already to which I answered “unless the room is made of wax and there is a movie with neon japanese subtitles, I don’t think I am.”

She said it was almost 3 pm at that moment and asked if I wanted to eat something, to which I replied no. She said she would be in the living room in case I needed anything and closed the door. When the door shut it was if a wind storm took over the room and all the wax in the walls started to break in colored sandlike grains, filling all the floor of my room.

I then put some music on the headphones and closed my eyes, seeing incredible cascades of light that seemed to flow on the rhythm of the music. I can’t say how long it was before I slept, but at a certain point I did.

The very next day I woke up feeling wonderful. Everything seemed prettied and I felt more active, less anxious and the depression seemed to have gone. It lasted for a bit more than a week, with this positive after effects diminishing a bit everyday after the 3rd day. Nevertheless it was a spark for me to profit from this mood lift and started to do exercises again, to which I am maintaining steadily (week 3 now) and which is helping me to get better.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116911

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 35

Published: Jan 6, 2023	Views: 766

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LSD (2), Pharms - Paroxetine (148), Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   78 kg

This report covers a trip that happened three days ago. Myself and my wife (“G”) each took one hit of LSD. I’ve used LSD around five or six times before. This was my wife’s first experience with it. We’ve both taken psilocybin many times (including “heroic/ego-death” doses).

The LSD in question was obtained from a source that a long-time friend assured me could be trusted not to sell potentially dangerous alternatives. We had the substance in our possession for probably around 8 months before ingestion as the right time never really came up (stored in a cool, dark place protected from air/temperature changes).

Having finally decided to take it, we settled on heading to a local botanical garden for the onset, and then seeing how things developed. This was a paid-entry park, full of beautiful trees and flowers, and very safe. A perfect place to enjoy nature and relax while the LSD kicked in. Our intention going in was simply to enjoy the experience but, as is often the case, the drug itself had other plans for one of us.

Our intention going in was simply to enjoy the experience but, as is often the case, the drug itself had other plans for one of us.

I took my blotter first, sliding it under my tongue and paying careful attention for any hint of bitterness/numbness that would indicate this was a no-go. The blotter tasted like nothing at all – a good sign, and “G” followed suit taking her own hit. I’d pre-packed a picnic bag for our expedition, so the only thing that remained was to call an Uber and make the +- 10 min trip to the park.

T + 00:15

In the Uber, I already started noticing that the trees on the side of the road had started to take on a little more intensity. A green and happy sheen that told me I was in for a good time. A very slight feeling of euphoria was starting up at this point (Note that while this seemed very early for the onset of any effects whatsoever, the “brightness” of the trees at this stage was confirmed later by “G”).

T + 00:20-00:30

At our destination, we joined a fairly long queue of people waiting to enter the park (peak season in our very tourist-friendly city). After a while we heard some others behind us discussing buying tickets online as this meant you could just head straight in, so as we waited “G” proceeded to navigate the online booking system and we managed to get digital tickets long before we were anywhere near the front of the line and then headed inside. Good timing, as we were both starting to feel distinctly “happy” by this point.

Once inside, we wandered around for a while looking for a nice shady area to set up. It was a very hot day, and we wanted somewhere that wasn’t too close to other people, so we walked through the gardens for probably around 15 minutes, looking for the perfect spot.

T + 00:45-02:00

We eventually settled on a patch of shade under a tree that was a good distance from the next nearest people and spread out our picnic blanket and supplies as an increasing feeling of euphoria took hold. The trees and plants around us were becoming more enjoyable to look at by the minute. There were also birds, small insects, and the sounds of people all around. It was, in general, a very enjoyable and relaxing atmosphere, and we settled in on some pillows we’d brought and started listening to Dead can Dance’s “Anastasis” album on a shared pair of earbuds. This meant we could hear both the world around us (in one ear each) and the music playing.

The lyrics of the first song immediately made both of us quite giggly, and we lay on our backs staring up into the canopy above us, intermittently laughing. Every now and then I’d roll onto my stomach to observe the people around us in the gardens and I started to find it very amusing how seriously they all took themselves and how adamant so many humans are that we aren’t just apes. Watching people, it became very apparent to me exactly how apelike so much of human behaviour still is and when I mentioned this observation to “G” she concurred, and we proceeded to giggle to ourselves over this idea. In between, we snacked on the cheese and crackers and fruit we’d brought, and everything tasted amazing in our euphoric state.

We continued chatting about all of the bizarre things humans do – and “G” remarked that no wonder no-one had wanted to be drafted to go to Vietnam back in the 60s/70s if they were taking LSD and having these kinds of feelings/observations about the human race.

After a while, we both settled back onto our pillows and just let the music take us. At this stage, I was starting to have some visual distortions, mainly if I focused on the canopy (fractal-like patterns), and “G” was moving her hand through the air above her, apparently seeing some tracers.

When I closed my eyes, I started seeing bright glimpses of fractal patterns, and after a while I had the distinct sensation of being on a beautiful tropical island. This bit is somewhat hard to explain, but the sensation here was really delightful. I was seeing colours like one of those tropical island logos with the horizontal stripes of orange/pink for sunset and had the distinct impression of being on a tropical beach.

I could feel the palm trees around me, the crystalline, turquoise water lapping at the sand near my feet. My whole being felt like it was being bathed in this warm tropical water. It had a distinctly Caribbean vibe to it, and I was very, very happy and relaxed, feeling completely at ease in this soporific setting. When I eventually reluctantly opened my eyes again “G” informed me that she really needed to go find a bathroom and declined my offer to accompany her to look for one.

I asked her if she was sure and she insisted, so I watched her make her way (remarkably steadily) across the lawns and up a path under the trees and then turned my attention to a book of Japanese poetry I’d brought with me. I read a few pieces (the English translations) and then for the first time actually attempted to read the original Japanese as well (Romanized words) which was a very interesting experience. The sounds seemed to align perfectly with the sentiment being expressed in each poem.

After a while, I checked my phone to see if “G” had attempted to contact me but there were no messages. I was having difficulty keeping track of time by this point, so I sent her a message asking if she was managing (which also gave me a time stamp to refer back to so I’d know when I should start worrying).

From here on in, the times get a bit fuzzy so the following are approximations.

T + 02:15 (?)

After a while had passed without seeing “G”, I started wondering whether I should go look for her. I didn’t want her to get back to our spot and find me missing however, so I waited a little longer and eventually she turned up, making her way back across the lawn towards me.

When she reached our spot, I could see she was a bit worked up and she sank down onto the picnic blanket looking pretty stressed out and informed me she’d gotten lost and hadn’t managed to find the bathrooms after all.

“G” seemed at this point like she might be having a mild panic attack, so I tried to calm her a bit and eventually managed to get her to eat another plum and breathe normally (she was on the verge of hyperventilating) and she then mentioned she was experiencing pain in her back. After she’d settled a bit, we decided to go together to find the bathrooms, and we took the same path she’d previously gone along.

As we walked, “G” explained to me that part of her anxiety was around the fact that there were dinosaurs in the garden. Now at this point I grew somewhat concerned about how strongly the trip was affecting her, as I had barely had any open-eye visual effects apart from brightness and some fractalization of the scenery if I stared at it for long enough. Seeing entire dinosaurs seemed like a far leap and I assured her there weren’t any until we turned a corner in the path and I was taken aback by the presence of a something that looked like a small diplodocus standing among some prehistoric plants.

It took my high mind a few moments to parse this new development, and then I realised that this was part of an exhibition they had put up at the gardens. There really were dinosaurs peering out of the vegetation all around us as we walked, and I laughed with “G” about what a freaky thing this was to encounter by yourself on LSD in a botanical garden.

Eventually, with the path looping back round towards our starting point we managed to procure directions to the bathrooms from a kindly couple and finally completed our epic journey, and then managed to make it back to our spot under the tree.

A grand total of about 20 minutes had passed from when “G” had left me originally to us finding our way back to the spot from the bathrooms (judging by the time stamp of the message on my phone)

T + 02:30 (?)

After this, things seemed to be going south rather quickly for “G”, and she couldn’t quite regain the happy space we’d started the trip in. The pain in her back was getting worse (muscle spasms), and we made the decision to head back home where I hoped she’d be able to relax into things again.

I called up an Uber and we headed home, chatting to the driver as we went. I was feeling very confident and friendly throughout and had no problems talking to people and navigating the process of getting us home, while “G” was still somewhat more subdued, though she chatted with the driver a bit as well as we neared our house.

T + 03:00

At home, things seemed to take on a lighter tone and “G” was initially much happier, and also relieved to be at home with our animals rather than out in the world. We started up some music, and she got out some art materials and started sketching, and I relaxed on the couch, enjoying some very beautiful, closed-eye fractals – the same kind of bright, light visuals that I often get at a certain stage of psilocybin trips. These are usually patterns of white-light shapes on white backgrounds, that feel like the inside of a “temple of light” for lack of a better term.

Their appearance is typically accompanied by an elevated feeling, a kind of consciousness-expanding euphoria. I like this state of being very much, but it’s usually transitory, especially on mushrooms. I will note that the overall experience of LSD is quite different for me, however, from mushrooms. Somehow, psilocybin feels more “organic” and there’s typically more body-load, whereas LSD feels very “cerebral”.

The connection to nature is also quite different. Whereas on psilocybin I often feel very much entrenched in nature, on LSD the role feels more that of an observer – everything is still very beautiful but appreciated from more of a distance. A beautiful system we as humans are part of but not deeply interconnected with.

Though “G” was a bit happier by this stage, she was still experiencing increasingly painful spasms in her back muscles. She was also having trouble taking deep breaths as doing so would trigger the spasms. This would continue over the coming hours, eventually reaching a very painful intensity.

T + 05:00-08:00

During this period, my focus was mainly on trying to alleviate this pain by rubbing the muscles and trying to find a comfortable position for her to lie in, so I wasn’t paying much attention to the effects of the LSD. She also took some painkillers (two capsules containing paracetamol (acetaminophen) and ibuprofen) but these had no apparent effect. Eventually, “G” decided to take 10 mg of Valium in an attempt to get her tortured back muscles to finally relax. A quick google confirmed that this should be safe enough, and she took one pill while I kept an eye on her in the bedroom.

Amazingly, the back spasms persisted even through the painkillers and Valium. When “G” started crying, it finally sank in for me that there was something else happening here as well, and as I held her, she sobbed in my arms. I could sense there was something deep coming up here – a childhood pain I was all too familiar with from my own less than stellar experiences of youth.

I whispered for her to release it, let it go, and she proceeded to cry harder than I’d ever seen before, all the while still feeling the extraordinary pain of her spasming back. When she finally settled somewhat, we talked through what had just happened. It was related to a particularly traumatic childhood event that we’d discussed before, and I felt that these two things – the physical experience of pain and this deep traumatic event were somehow intrinsically linked.

She now proceeded to tell me this childhood story in greater detail than I’d previously heard it. The sensory experience of it. The aftermath. I had the distinct impression of her childhood self choosing this moment, and this vehicle, to highlight a pattern of thinking that had been hurting my dear wife for a very long time. She continued intermittently sobbing and talking to me, and in that moment, I somehow loved her more than I even knew was possible.

After these events she also confirmed to me that at a certain point she’d realised the only thing she could do was give in and let the waves of pain wash over and through her.

When things eventually calmed back down, “G” was exhausted – pretty much ready for lights out (it was evening by now) and still experiencing some pain from her back. I continued chatting to her about everything that had just happened, about our respective childhoods and the experiences we’ve had, and gently suggesting that she do some meditating and other forms of integration in the days to come.

T + 09:00 (?) through the rest of the trip

The final effects of the LSD took a few more hours to work out of our systems, and over this period of time, I had a couple of beers once I was content that “G” was going to be fine. It took me a long time to go to sleep, but when I eventually did so I only slept for a couple of hours, and then woke up for another four or so hours before I could finally pass out fully.

Overall, this experience, though deep and full of many painful aspects for “G”, was a very positive one for me. I actually felt pretty calm, happy and focused throughout, even in the depths of the worst parts. I was naturally concerned about “G”, but I knew she was going to be fine, and was pretty sure the pain aspect would solve itself in time, without us needing to resort to a trip to hospital (which would likely have made everything a thousand times more unpleasant and difficult). And of course, I knew she’d tell me if she felt that was necessary.

In the days since, “G” has been having a difficult time, but has dutifully worked on integrating the experience. Some pain has persisted. For my part, I’ve actually been in a really calm, happy mood throughout. I feel at peace and closer to my wife than before. I know this difficult experience is going to be one that ultimately leads to growth and learning, for both of us.

As always, the trips we go on aren’t always the ones we intend to take. But they most certainly are the ones we need to.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116943

Gender: Not Specified

Age at time of experience: 40

Published: Jan 9, 2023	Views: 424

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LSD (2) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Relationships (44), Second Hand Report (42), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 10:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   10 st

I have debated drafting this report for some time. Months have passed since my experience and since I am still unable to pass my incredibly intense psychedelic voyage off as ‘just being on drugs’ I have decided that this may help me get my head around what happened that day.

First I believe some background information is necessary. I was going camping with some friends and my girlfriend to somewhere with a beach and nice views, I also happened to have received some incredibly strong (250ug) LSD in the post, ordered from the deep web. I had decided long for before leaving that I wanted to go further than I have ever been before, I wanted to take the deepest plunge I had ever taken in my 5 years of psychedelic drug use.

I managed to convince several of my friends, including my girlfriend to participate, however several of them had little to no experience with acid. My girl (who we will call Rebecca for the sake of this report) decided she would use her own acid as it was weaker (150ug) and she agreed to give some to the rest of the group, leaving me and my best friend (and also my trip partner for much of my psychedelic career) 2 tabs each of my 250ug tabs.

Anyway we arrived at our campsite and set up and spent the first day and night smoking weed with a fire, eating some nice food and having a general laugh. We all decided that the following day would be spent on LSD.

The next morning, we awoke and I was incredibly excited, I had a shower and got ready as fast as possible, skipping breakfast so I could begin the trip on an empty stomach as I have been told this increases the intensity of the trip. We gathered around our tents and each member of the group took tabs from Rebecca, I handed my friend 2 tabs realizing that I had one more tab than I thought and thus decided to half it with scissors so we could take 2 and a half.

We all dropped and to be honest I feel much of the beginning of the trip isn’t really worth mentioning beyond me explaining that it was going fine, nothing too intense, just hysterical laughter and incredibly beautiful hallucinations, it felt like it was going to be a pretty nice trip.

After a few hours the group began to split up, some of us were staring out over the ocean, perplexed by its incredible natural beauty, enhanced by the incredible psychedelic hallucinations we were all experiencing. Some were sniffing cocaine in a tent, and some were tending to one of my mates who dropped one of the 150ug tabs, he was having a very bad time. For selfish reasons I decided not to try help my friend due to the fact that about 45 minutes previously I had just dropped one of my girlfriend's tabs on top of my two and half 250ug’s. Things were really starting to get intense for me and I didn’t want to send myself down the wrong path by communicating with someone who genuinely believed he needed to call his mother because (and I quote) ‘he’d lost his mind to the ocean's sound waves’.

Instead I decided to search for Rebecca who seemed to have vanished. I found her in the tent having a lie down, she said things got a little bit too much for her out there. This is when my trip really changed. I took my girlfriends hands and kissed her, then I found myself lying down, but then as quick as I found myself lying down I was holding her hand again, in exactly the same position, as if I had imagined lying down, so I lay down again and the same thing happened, I appeared to be caught in a loop.

This happened for quite some time, and really got very freaky for me (and my girlfriend who wasn’t experiencing this and just thought I was a total nutter shouting about being stuck in a time loop). Whilst this was happening my mind was searching for explanations, analyzing everything, from Rebecca’s facial expressions to the way my friends were behaving

my mind was searching for explanations, analyzing everything, from Rebecca’s facial expressions to the way my friends were behaving

, I gradually built up a complex in my head that to this day I struggle to explain, comprehend and put into words. I believed (and I mean really fucking believed) that through taking such a high dose of acid I had in some way unraveled space and time, quite literally to a point where I was experiencing communication with the infinite layers/dimensions that make up reality, it was like I could literally feel, hear and communicate with it all. It was like there was infinite versions of my girlfriend who knew exactly what I was thinking, at points it felt like I had hurt her greatly and then there were moments of beauty, but they were all individual moments that had been experienced with these infinite versions of her. I also communicated with my parents, I literally spoke to my dad and he told me he had never liked Rebecca and that I'd be better without her, but then another version of him was more supporting. It was insane to say the least.

I then gradually began to believe that I had came to the end of the world, like literally the edge of the world, and my life had all been leading to this exact moment, and now I had unravelled reality I was going to hell. I also began to believe that my friends had all been guardians for me to reach this point and now their job was complete, they had led me to the gates of hell and all I had to now do was fall back and collapse into the devil’s arms. Rebecca at this point had left the tent as I was really starting to freak her out.

The trip at this point was getting incredibly intense, I could not dream of being able to put any of it into words but it was honestly the most insane experience of my life, my ego had completely dissolved into nothing but I also felt like I myself had fallen into a void of which I would never emerge, a totally different feeling to that which I am used to on acid.

I doubted my life, I doubted reality, yet I felt like I understood everything in those moments… I literally understand the nature of reality and it still baffles me to now, I cannot explain it… what’s worse is that this explanation of reality was not what I expected… I previously believed that to be enlightened would be beautiful… this was not beautiful; it was fucking terrifying.

However, despite its scariness I still had a good time. Whilst all this had been happening I very quickly came to the realization that I had completely lost my fucking mind, I’m talking bat shit insane and I knew it, but I was glad... Actually scrap that I was over the moon, I was literally like (and I was saying this to myself when Rebecca had left) ‘I'm glad if lost my mind, I hope I never find it again’. I was caught in this limbo, I wished I had never come to understand this incredible euphony [epiphany?] (and in many respects I didn’t and still don’t) yet at the same time I wasn’t sure how I could live on knowing what I now know.

The trip continued and I managed to pull myself together a little bit, I rejoined the group and spent the rest of the trip rolling up and chonging weed, watching a very beautiful sunset over the ocean, absolutely fucked out of my mind. I remember thinking to myself that I wish I could stay in this moment forever, because in that moment everything was so clear, I fully understood reality and whilst it was scary, I was still glad to understand. I think the worst part was knowing that as soon as the drugs wore off I would not be able comprehend any of my experience, this made me incredibly sad.

By this point all of my friends were sniffing copious amounts of cocaine in a tent saying their trips had pretty much finished, I was still sat there feeling like I was on the tail end of a 150ug peak, and we’d been tripping for about 10/11 hours at this point. The rest of the trip is a blur to be honest, however I remember sharing some beautiful moments with my girlfriend whilst listening to tycho. We had amazing sex for the next 2/3 hours (if you’ve ever had sex on acid I’m sure you’ll understand how this was possible) which only ended because I was literally dripping sweat on my girlfriend due to the heat inside the tent. We then fell asleep and I woke up and to this day I’ve been unable to get my head round it.

Well this was my feeble attempt to explain it,  I am still of two minds as to whether I should approach my revelation as drug fuelled nonsense or a genuine insight as to the nature of reality?

[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110851

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Jan 9, 2023	Views: 868

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LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		 20 mg
		 insufflated
		 Ketamine

		 1 hit
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   90 kg

Prior to this experience, I've had LSD only twice before. It has been both a wonderful experience, as well as a catalyst for surfacing some of my past traumas - which until that moment I had done my best to bury deep down so much so that I had completely forgotten why I am the person that I am today. I was introduced to this drug by my now ex-girlfriend.

The first time it was with a group of friends that I had known and was close to, to some extents. At some point during the trip, I realised that some of my issues would resurface which is why I had to separate myself from the group and listen to the sort of music that would calm me down and keep me in my "happy space". My heart beats Heavy Metal.

The second time was done only with the ex-girlfriend. It started off great, with a lot of laughs, jokes, and a bit of crazy-talk. Several hours into the trip, sitting in front of the fireplace together, she asks something that completely shattered me to the core.

Why am I asking for permission to live?

As a child, I've had a very tough time growing up. I've been "fortunate" enough to live in fear for the first years of my life due to the ongoing violence happening in our house. Between shouts, screams, tears, and punches, I had seen it all. The only reasonable way I could conceive to cope with this was by shutting myself down out of fear of being hurt, or of potentially hurting someone. The only times when I could ever so slightly feel like myself was when I had gained approval from my peers to exhibit and express myself. Just for a bit.

Sharing this was a gargantuan task, and it took a lot of effort. Come next day, I felt very vulnerable. Upon speaking about it, we both came to uncover that we share similar burdens, and that they need to be addressed. The first rational step at that point in time was for us to break up.

Fast-forward a month, and I am excited to go out with a couple of friends to a Dubstep rave. This would be the fourth party I'd go to since the break-up and, although the heartbreak is still lingering a little bit, I was confident that all will be well. Concerts and raves are my coping mechanism. To add to that, in spite of all the partying, I had made incredible progress in finding where my issues lie, how they tie-in with my childhood traumas, and slowly but surely start loving myself. I decided it's time to take LSD again.

Some trippers might think that the setting is completely wrong (heck, even the mindset). Dubstep is a very aggressive style of music, which in combination with LSD could only lead to a very, very, very bad trip. Right? Not in the slightest. I did mention that my heart beats Heavy Metal however, that is wrong. Metal was there first, but in general I love aggressive music. It's what makes me feel comfortable, relaxed, and at peace. After my previous experiences with LSD (as hard as they were), I knew that this would be a night where I can have an intimate connection with music.

And I did. The heavy bass thumping in my chest, the syncopated cacophony of synthesized growls and aggressive leads fighting with one another, and the bone-crushing drums in combination with LSD made me feel alive. I could appreciate every artist, every drop, every unnatural sound, the crowd, and my friends. At some point, I was so elated, that I hugged and thanked profusely my friends for coming and being there with me. Both are not well versed into this style of music, so the fact that I could be there to share and introduce something I like made me incredibly happy.

It's worthwhile mentioning that neither of my friends were on LSD. Both were smoking weed, with one also having a light dose of MDMA. It's worthwhile mentioning that I didn't take a lot of LSD either; 150ug to be precise. I didn't want to go too hard since this would have been my first time dropping acid in the wild.

I didn't want to go too hard since this would have been my first time dropping acid in the wild.

 As the ever so "cautious" person that I am, the dosage seemed right. However, being the ever so "contingent" person, I decided to bring a bit of Ketamine. Just in case.

It's 3AM, one of my friends left home, the venue closes in two hours, and it's been about three hours since I have peaked. As good as it was, I felt confident that I could have done more acid (note to self for the next time), but since I had none with me, I decided to go for a bit of Ketamine. I am well aware of its effects, as well as the downsides that come with it. As a result, I took only a light dose: 20mg, insufflated.

The party goes on. I feel a bit more euphoric as well as a bit of disassociation. The music is getting slimier, harder to digest, downright revolting, offensive, repulsive, and most likely breaking the Geneva Convention. Just the way I like it.

It's about 4AM and my friend wants to go out for a smoke. I go outside to keep him company, and notice he doesn't have a cigarette, but rather a joint. I am obviously not in my rightful mind, and that joint seems kind of enticing, even though having consumed two substances is already enough. Moreover, somewhere in the back of my head I knew that LSD does not gel with Cannabis, which could turn the blissful night into a downright mess. I ask anyways. I have one puff.

It is at this point that you, my dear reader, should know that I am extremely lightweight when it comes to Cannabis or Hashish. So lightweight in fact, that when I saw Deep Purple live, one puff from another friend's joint was enough to get me really stoned for an hour an a half. So much so, that I could barely finish my drink, move, or keep my mouth closed (thankfully I did not salivate). But, I thoroughly enjoyed the magic carpet ride that was Purple's show.

It must have been 5 minutes or so since that puff, and its effects started taking over. For the first few minutes, it felt like my entire body was high. Then, I started disassociating even more. The insides of my mouth became drier than the desert sand. My friends is talking about... something. I can't remember what, but that should not be of any surprise. I wasn't even paying attention, just nodding and making sounds. I tell him that this concoction is doing its job, and it's hitting me. Hard. I go inside and order two glasses of water. I chug both down for what started to feel like an eternity. I'm in the middle of a room, holding two empty cups of water, surrounded by people minding their business, and wondering how many minutes have passed since I went inside. Was it 5? 10? Everything around me seemed like it was moving at a regular pace, but I felt slow. I try to not panic.

Are there any trains that I can take home? No. That means I have to walk 45 minutes.

My friend was just about finishing his smoke when I rejoined him outside. Upon inquiry, it turns out that it took me only two minutes to drink my water and make a plan of escape. Since the only way home was the hard way, I decided to stick around and keep raving. Surely, dancing will help me blow off some steam and keep my wits about.

It must have been 10 or 15 minutes when I realised that something was very very off. I had a hard time being in the present and concentrating on the music. My body was dancing, but my mind was in the ether. Every moment I had tried to focus on was ephemeral. My consciousness was at war with my subconsciousness, and the latter was winning. I was still dancing, but could barely register what was happening in front of me, let alone have any spatial awareness.

Was I too close to a person? Was I against the wall? Where is my friend? What the hell is happening?

My consciousness was barred from receiving any answers. The subconscious transported me on a plane where I could clearly communicate with it, but in order to do so it had to take over the system.

I cannot say what we talked about as the war between my conscious and subconscious self was too distracting. I was reminded of my meditation exercises, and tried to force myself in the here and now. I tried. The sweet embrace of the subconsciousness and the promise of uncovering all the mysteries of my inner self was too appealing. It felt comfortable, and so very wrong. I realised that I had done too much, and was at risk. Not sure what risk, but I knew I lost control over myself. This struggle kept on for several more minutes.

It's about 4:35AM and I tell my friend that I need to get home. The concoction has gone awry and is taking over. I find myself in a queue waiting to pick-up our jackets. I find myself handing over the token to get my stuff. I find myself dressing up, and then out in the street.

As we're walking together, I entertain a conversation which I cannot follow. The duel between my two selves has taken a different form and the effects of the drugs are different. I subtly try to signal my friend that it's gotten messy. He gets the hint, and asks about what I feel.

Imagine a brief moment of consciousness. That snapshot into the real world becomes a "What if?" scenario. What if I had said something different? What if I had done something different? What if I went a different way? It becomes a glimpse into an alternate timeline where my actions are different to the now. I can (mentally) see it play out in front of me, although my body feels and hears something completely different. I found this duality between our universe and the parallel ones enticing. I really wish I could have explored what the other worlds had to offer. However, I knew that I could not let myself go on an adventure. Not yet. Not while I was in the cold, in an unsafe space. I was afraid that the visions would take over, and I would find myself standing (unknowingly) in front of a car. My friend decides to walk me all the way home.

We've left the venue just 10 minutes ago. It felt like an eternity.

The walk home was a constant struggle between me keeping up with reality (so I can see what is going on in front of me), and being carried away by the hundreds of other visions fighting for a prime spot. I was still talking and somewhat (sometimes) listening to what my friend had to say. I found that I could try and focus on his stories, but those would immediately take a life of their own and play out in front of my eyes. Trying to stay in the present is what worked best, although for a brief moment. But then, like a muscle that you exercise, I could hold consciousness for longer: two moments. And then more. And then I could focus for a few seconds. Is this the effect of the drugs coming off? Wishful thinking. A slight moment of weakness is enough to make me zone out for several minutes. However, the closer I got to my apartment, the more hopeful I was that they would still be there. I had hoped that once in a safe environment I could explore those visions and my parallel selves.

We arrive at around 5:15AM and I invite my friend over if not to crash on my couch until the morning, at least to have a bathroom break. He leaves, and I eagerly play some music. Something is off. The calmness of being in a safe space has put an end to the war. My consciousness won. I am still me. I accept that the drugs might be wearing off, and think that this might be for the better. Who knows what I could have seen.

I stick around for a little longer, and keep listening to music. A bit of Dubstep to ceremoniously end the night, followed by some Psydub to royally greet the sunrise.

Wait. What's that? When I close my eyes on psychedelics I usually see shapes moving in tandem with the music, not people. And these weren't regular people, either. For starters, they were all ravers. And they had holes, especially where the eyes sit. Those holes were grey. I let the film play out.

It was as if somebody made a music video out of GIFs where people are crudely cropped out with the magic wand in Photoshop, and placed on top of a colourful background that could have only been drawn in Microsoft Paint. The colours start to shift and the people are now grey and green. On occasion I would see some intricate shapes with the ever-present grey holes eating them bit by bit. And why does Windows XP have a cameo in my trip? Hmm... This aesthetic is eerily familiar.

Oh God, I'm tripping in Vaporwave!?

Slowly but surely, the effects start to die down, I am enveloped by the music, and fall asleep on the couch.

As interesting as this was, it was also a harrowing experience. The fear of losing control or getting hit by a vehicle was real. (I hope) I did my best to not showcase that, even though I was scared.

I will keep this experience for future reference. If I am to combine substances ever again, then I need to double down and understand the interaction effects. And to stay as far away from weed. At this moment, I am not sure if I ever want to chase this dragon. Maybe I will, but most likely I won't. It was too much of a close call for my own liking, but interesting nonetheless.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116880

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 28

Published: Jan 14, 2023	Views: 725

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Cannabis (1), Ketamine (31), LSD (2) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Music Discussion (22), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (gel tab)

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   T+ 2:30
		 1/4 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

		   T+ 4:30
		 Multiple joints/cigs
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   T+ 13:00
		 1/2 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

		   T+ 13:00
		 1/2 cig.
		 smoked
		 Tobacco
		 (leaves)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

I like to think I'm a fairly experienced drug user. I have smoked marijuana daily since I was 15 and have dropped LSD close to a dozen times. I've also tried mushrooms, San Pedro cactus, ketamine, and dabbled (regrettably) in various pharmaceuticals.

The vast majority of the LSD I have taken came in simple, plain white tabs. It was super clean, albeit weak doses and I enjoyed my experiences with them immensely. Recently, a new form of acid showed up in the local scene: windowpane gels of various colors and strengths. When these gels first showed up, most of the LSD users I knew were healthily skeptical. Bad acid has been a problem among our college community before, and I didn't want to get NBOME'd by accident. The fears around these gels were only increased when I heard from friends that it felt markedly different than any other acid they had done.

Then a friend of mine got a hold of a test called Ehrlich's reagent, and much to our surprise the gels tested as being positive for LSD. My understanding of Ehrlich's reagent is that it cannot differentiate between different ergoloids. In other words, the test proved that it is either LSD or a chemical markedly similar that would also test positive. Given the recent resurgence of real LSD on the blackmarket, I would assume with fairly high certainty that these gels did indeed contain real LSD.

My first experience was taking half of a red gel (rumored to be especially visual). The strength of my trip off of half of a gel easily matched up to the intensity of 2 hits of any other acid I've taken. And the visuals and colors were far flashier and in-your-face than any I've had before. The experience I am documenting today came shortly after my experiment with a half a red gel. This time I took a full gel. And I was so not prepared.

10:00am - Swallowed the tab. I don't ever bother leaving LSD on my tongue, since it has always been my opinion that the oral bioavailability of LSD is far superior to sublingual administration. I also appreciate the generally slower come-up from swallowing rather than leaving it on my tongue.

10:20am - Just got out of the shower. I feel a touch different. There is an unmistakable click in my internal mechanisms that I feel each and every time I have dosed. This time is no different. I think I am noticing mild tracers, but that could be placebo.

10:50am - I'm at a Starbucks with my girlfriend, who has agreed to tripsit me today. I am initially feeling confident enough to go inside to order my coffee, but I am promptly overwhelmed by the atmosphere. I tell my girlfriend to get me a green tea and I step outside to smoke a cigarette.

11:00am - People watching. Human beings are fucking weird. A mom is yelling at her kid for something, but I don't know what. I don't like that. My girlfriend comes out with my green tea, but I am no longer interested in drinking it. We walk to her car to drive back to campus. Colors are really popping everywhere and the dimensions of objects seem surreal.

11:20am - I'm back at my apartment getting my backpack together for my journey. I feel like I'm racing against the clock, I am swiftly sinking deeper into the effects. I look in the mirror briefly and realize how stupid I must look to people. I kind of want to slap that stupid grin off my face.

12:00pm - I'm walking through a meadow with my girlfriend. I don't remember exactly how we got here, but my watch tells me I am two hours into the experience. I am very interested in flowers right now. Each and every flower I come across, I put in my girlfriend's hair which she thinks is sweet. I feel like an asshole for being so cheesy, but I fucking love picking flowers for her. I love her.

12:30pm - We stumble across two girls a couple years younger than us as we walk through the woods. They told us they had just graduated from high school and asked if we wanted to match some weed with them. I offer to roll the blunt, as usually I have impeccable rolling skills. I break both wraps I have, and one of the girls we met offers to roll a joint with one of her hemp papers instead. I apologize profusely and explain that I am tripping my balls off and that my coordination is off. She said it was no problem, but I feel very embarrassed.

---this is where my trip starts taking an unpleasant turn and I was less concerned with keeping time, so the following time markers are very rough estimates---

12:50pm - We smoked a joint between the four of us that contained 1-1.5 grams of marijuana. I am tripping my balls off. Surfaces are breathing and ripping. Patterns are erupting in the sky. Time has slowed to crawl and I begin to feel unwell. My face is getting hot, the very same symptom that kicked off my last bad trip over a here ago. This time though, the intensity of discomfort is far beyond anything I could imagine.

1:00pm - It's too much. I'm trying to keep my cool in front of these people, but I can't. I stand up and politely explain that I had smoked too much and needed to leave. The two girls seem confused but my girlfriend understands what is going on and follows me down the path. I'm walking and crying. I want it to stop. I close my eyes and I see powerful kaleidoscopes overtaking my mind. And then everything went black and I felt myself being tugged down the rabbit hole.

I'm walking and crying. I want it to stop. I close my eyes and I see powerful kaleidoscopes overtaking my mind. And then everything went black and I felt myself being tugged down the rabbit hole.

 I don't know exactly how to describe this, but 'rabbit-hole' was the thought I had as I was falling down it so I will describe it in this way. There's a lot of ringing and after what seemed like eternity, I was back walking down the trail. I'm still crying and yelling, and I realize that I must be scaring my girlfriend. She keeps saying, you're fine, you're fine. But I know I'm anything but fine.

1:15 - We are almost back to our apartment and I am forcing myself to not scream and cry for the sole sake of not getting arrested. However, as we approach the building campus police pull up right next to us. Fear pounds in my heart. My mind began to race. I figured someone must have heard me freaking out in the woods and called them and they were here to take me away. I would be arrested while tripping. It was a nightmare. To make matters worse, my girlfriend was very stoned and we both reeked of marijuana. I kept walking, holding in the urge to break down.

We enter the building and I can hear the cops coming after me, I rush into our apartment and go into my room and shut the door. I can hear the cops banging on the door, coming after me. I peek out the window and see the campus cop still sitting in his vehicle taking notes. The sound of the knocking on the door stopped. Then I begin to realize he is taking notes about me. He's writing about I'm on drugs for the paperwork before he comes and gets me. I feel like I'm dying. I tell my girlfriend that I thought I might be a danger to myself. 'You're just on acid, you're fine' she kept saying. That sentence echoed in my head for what seemed like forever. Then the whole debacle started over. This looped last for what felt like forever.

2:00 My friend John comes over, my girlfriend had called him to come calm me down. John doesn't do LSD ever anymore, but he had been around the block and done a shit-ton in the past so he knew what to do. He starts talking about things I like, we talk about the Grateful Dead, how cool his new guitar is, how I'll be laughing about this whole incident come tomorrow morning. I'm still feeling awful, but the conversation removed me from the loop I was stuck in.

2:30 John and my girlfriend walk me back into the woods, to a beautiful bridge-gazebo underneath a canopy of trees. I'm starting to calm down a bit, though I am still very anxious. My girlfriend and John smoke a good bit of pot and keep an eye on me from a distance. They must be thinking I'm insane.I'm very concerned about everyone finding out about this meltdown. People will be talking about what a fucking stupid acidhead I am and that I brought it on myself. I'm chain smoking cigs and chasing these thoughts around my head. The sky is swirling in a flurry of psychedelic pattern.

4:00 John has to go back to his place to do some homework, and I'm in a fairly better state. I curled up under some blankets in my room and turned on Family Guy. The show seemed detached and unfunny, but brilliantly visual. Even if it's comedy seemed bland in the moment, having a familiar TV show playing did wonders to calm me down.

7:00 The effects of the acid are beginning to wane. I just wanna smoke some weed. My girlfriend, however, thinks it's a bad idea until the effects have fully worn off.

11:00 I am comfortably down from the acid. I go out to the woods to smoke a blunt before bed. Reflecting on the day, as horrible as it was, I felt much better once I had gotten it all out of my system. Incredibly cathartic.

All in all, this was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I swore off tripping at the end of the experience. My quitting was short-lived, however, when I dropped a gel with some friends two weeks later. That time, I smoked no marijuana and had a paranoia-free trip. This is leading me to believe that marijuana just tends to affect my trips negatively and I should refrain from using it while dosed.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108755

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 21

Published: Mar 20, 2023	Views: 565

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LSD (2) : General (1), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Guides / Sitters (39), Relationships (44), Various (28)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 170 ug
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		   hits

		 Nitrous Oxide

During the last school holidays, my friend, Robbie told me that another friend of ours had the house to herself and we were welcome to come over and try LSD for the first time. I have been eager to do so for years and embraced the opportunity. Robbie invited our other friend, Leo, which I was delighted by as I had my own secret hope that he would be able to join in. Leo had dropped acid twice before.

I bought and tested two tabs, advertised as 250 µg each, the day before and met up with the lads at around 9pm. I was disappointed to be starting so late, but had a family dinner scheduled beforehand, so decided to just embrace the night trip. They met me on my bus and we wondered around the coastal suburb, getting a six-pack of beers and some snacks for a couple of other people who were at the host’s house - her friends who I didn’t know.

We arrived and split the two tabs rather haphazardly between the three of us with a pair of scissors, but it ended up close to evenly divided, then dropped them (I initially held mine sublingually). This was at around 9:45pm. As we waited for the come-up, we proceeded to chat with the other visitors, observing each-other’s pupils grow over the next half hour or so.

At 10:30pm-ish, everyone but my fellow trippers, the host, and her close friend left. The host and her friend retreated to her room, getting ready for bed while our night was just beginning. As we waited for a sign of the trip, a table caught our eye. It was wooden and the pattern on its surface had a trippy 3d effect. We spent a long time trying to ascertain whether this was us tripping or the table was just innately trippy. I was disappointed to find that it really was just the table, but, that said, looking back, my state of mind was definitely already altered - I was fascinated by the table, whether it was exhibiting visuals or not; also, I was unconsciously rubbing my hands and feet on the carpet, enjoying the tactile sensation. Around this point, my friends’ jokes had the capacity to send me reeling back, wheezing with laughter.

Robbie and I decided to take a hit of nitrous, hoping it would kickstart the trip, as we weren’t experiencing significant visuals and I hadn’t really registered a change yet (although looking back, it was there in my frame of mind). This was probably around 90 minutes in. I listened to Autechre’s ‘Gantz Graf’ through headphones, which was an odd choice looking back.  I would’ve preferred something mellower and less cerebral. Fortunately, the abrasive sounds weren’t overly negative to my ears, just not as appreciated as they might have been sober.

I first noticed visuals soon after as I was lying on the couch, chatting idly with the lads and looking at the overhead lamp - the little black spots in the lamp, dead bugs I assume, started to mesmerisingly fade in and out in a subtle dance. I was extremely excited to be experiencing the visual. Leo told me not to stare at the lamp for the sake of my eye health and I felt very touched by his consideration.

At a certain point, Leo suggested having a snack and we found some bread in the kitchen. I found this to be one of the most altered experiences. It was basically flavourless, but as I chewed I had the feeling that I was compressing and compressing the bread infinitely in my mouth. I asked Leo if his bread was good and he said ‘It’s not good or bad, it’s just bread.’ Aside from being pretty amusing, this felt like an extremely profound nugget of stoicism to me. We continued to ruminate on the bread, observing that individual crumbs are dry, while a whole piece of bread is somewhat moist - Leo mused that of course this was true, as the crumbs are separated from the mother of the bread and so have no sustenance for themselves. We then amused ourself at the thought of eating this personified bread. I found this hilarious and subversive because having expected to be in a mellow and empathetic state, I was instead reveling in the carnage I was reaping onto this poor bread.

Visuals were by this point very fascinating. The pattern on table mentioned earlier swam nicely. The host’s ornate ceiling waved and rippled. We resolved to listen to music separately with headphones for a while, but this did not end up eventuating for quite a while as Leo’s headphones were in his bag, which was in the room where the host and her friend were sleeping. We were very hesitant to go inside, I felt mildly violative, so it was a tentative process. Initially, Robbie headed in and the whole thing felt like a spy mission. This initial attempt was unsuccessful, but did result in the attainment of a bag of chips, which were highly appreciated. I loved the saltiness, which pierced through my otherwise insensitive palette.
We found ourselves in the bathroom, looking into the mirror. I got the sense that we were three aliens exploring a plane of our own. I loved the childlike imagination. Finally, Leo bit the bullet and found his bag, and I hit shuffle on a playlist I had prepared earlier, headphones on.

A live Bill Evans song came on. It was moderately enjoyable, no more so than it would have been sober. The interesting part was that the whispers of audience members which persist through the whole song felt highly amplified to me, becoming as loud as the instruments themselves. These were neither scary, nor empathetic to me. Just curious. I feel very conscious of my friends moving behind me out of sight as I look at the wall and I’m surprised to find they are still when I turn around.

We then continued to do our own thing, and the other two seemed to drift into another room. The next track to come on on my playlist was by Caroline Shaw, a choral composer, from her Partita for Eight Voices. It’s energetic, sonorous music. I liked the sound of it, so hit play on the entire composition and went to the bathroom. The mirror was overwhelming. My face was covered in patterns that almost looked like small pimples or veins pulsing. Further, the dimensions of my face changed rapidly, to the rhythm of the music.

The mirror was overwhelming. My face was covered in patterns that almost looked like small pimples or veins pulsing. Further, the dimensions of my face changed rapidly, to the rhythm of the music.

 It reminded me of comparisons of focal lengths of camera lenses, like my face was becoming a portrait taken from a bunch of different lenses in quick succession. I also got a sense that this was analogous to ageing. This was overwhelming, and even a little scary, but in a way I appreciated.

Wanting to be both solitary and warm, I draped a blanket over myself and sat in a ball in a corner. Enjoying this, I moved into the uninhabited bedroom and lay down, eventually getting under the covers. For some reason, nothing seemed more appealing than listening to Mitch Hedberg’s standup, even though I haven’t done so for a few years. I listened to the entirety of Mitch All Together, which was delightful and comforting. I had the sense of being an audience member, and delighting in my capacity to laugh very much like a baby would.

The one negative part of my mindset at this point was that I much preferred being alone to the point that I almost felt a little suspicious of my friend, although even at the time I recognised this as irrational. I was actually a little disappointed when Leo came in and felt awkward in my interactions with him. But he was a chill presence, in his own zone, so I grew to appreciate him. At one point, I wanted to explain why I wasn’t particularly social and said, ‘I just really feel like having my own vibe right now… is that OK?’ Leo then looked at me with a smile which I found immensely perceptive and said, ‘Yeah, that’s ok.’ I deeply appreciated this, I almost felt like he had personally blessed me.

I arranged the room to cultivate a tranquil vibe, turning off the overhead light in favour of a mellow bedlam’s, and lay under the covers, still listening to Hedberg. I reveled in the warm tingles which coursed through my body and the ornate ceiling, which in the darker lighting, looked like a fluorescent dance.

At a certain point, Leo asked if he could join me in the king-sized bed and, appreciating his gentleness, I was happy to share with him. However, we remained in our separate worlds. Later, he asked me ‘If the lamp being on was important to my vibe’. And again, I was delighted by the gentleness with which he asked for the room to be darkened. I drifted off to sleep, probably for around 3 hours.

After the trip, I took extended breaks from social media, notably reddit and instagram, and my palette of musical listening narrowed significantly for a time, but since expanded to its usual breadth.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114758

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Apr 8, 2023	Views: 753

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 400 ug

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   207 lb

Acid Trip Report: Sat, Jun 26 - 6:41 pm 400ug Probably one of the most terrifying and enlightening trips I have ever been on.

6:41 pm - Positive mindset going in, friends seem to think differently about this, we will see.

6:47 pm - Extremely happy, very talkative amongst 3 friends.

7:05 pm - Feeling light visual distortion. This is the event horizon, and I am but a rocket ship careening on the edge, about to be sucked into the infinite spiraling horizon. I know I went for a walk that may have lasted either 30 minutes to an hour. It was a park in the middle of a slightly overwhelming “residential” area and there was a stream cutting through the middle, with twisty trippy trees on the bank and around the park. The mosquitoes were swarming us, with no end in sight, but my friends somehow convinced me that it was a part of my trip.

7:30 pm to 9:30 pm - I came to know the truth of “reality”, or whatever my reality was at the time, and it felt like I had just stepped foot into the world of Dante’s “Inferno”. It was absolute hell from this point forward. Walking outside felt like I had baked in hell, the dehydration wrought by, well, not drinking water haha, baked my skin dry to the point I felt like a child’s sidewalk chalk, left out in the sun after a long day of use.

9:30 pm to 12:00 am - My friend is addicted to codeine tablets, I didn’t know until as of writing this but “codeine psychosis” might explain the shit that happened here, basically I remember him entering the room, talking frequently about a “moose” then leaving the room, then going into the bathroom to pop more codeine, and 20 minutes later it happened again but this time it was about these “planets” he made as a kid, I have no idea but it tripped me right back into hell whenever he would try to talk to me about this useless shit.

2:31 am - A serene tranquility is in the air but not calm. I have reached the peak, the calm before the storm. I am sweating terribly, the sweat pours from my pores like rain. I experience harsh nausea. It is around now that I peak. I start to loop. Again and again, I experience infinite fractal realities, each one spiraling into a short psychosis, then breaking off and looping over again, however it is slightly different and more nauseating with each rewind.

I experience infinite fractal realities, each one spiraling into a short psychosis, then breaking off and looping over again, however it is slightly different and more nauseating with each rewind.

 This lasted for around 3-4 hours, and my heart rate was stagnant at best, whilst my breathing patterns were terrible, on and off with short panicked bursts of epiphany as I “tasted” my own blood in my mouth.

6:14 am - Finally just starting to come off, with a slight, although short-lived afterglow that probably masked how goddamn hungry I really was throughout that fucking acid-hell. Still don’t really want to eat. Or drink.

Post-trip: this absolute reality bender of a trip changed me as a person. I truly believe I emerged “victorious” from the fight with this one. I probably overdosed because I don’t do acid often, and I remember throwing up at some point throughout the trip. Altogether I would say it was absolute torture. Sitting through all 12 grueling hours of that fat bastard was a fever dream.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115571

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: May 16, 2023	Views: 795

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 450 mg
		 oral
		 DXM
		 (liquid)

		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 Repeated hits
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

About a year and a half ago I had what was probably the most intense psychedelic experience of my life, both for me and for my two partners, one an experienced psychonaut and the other less so who for the sake of anonymity we’ll call Bodega and Shrink, respectively. If this night taught me anything it was to never, ever mix substances on the first try. Before this my experiences were for the most part a whole lot of pot, more than my fair share of acid, and a few encounters with MDMA and 2C-B. The setting would be our one bedroom apartment, which we’d turned into a cozy trip den with a sectional couch, a modest entertainment center, and along the walls a string of colorful lights and paintings from trips past.

The night had started off on a good step, moods were high and upon a quick trip to the local drug store Bodega had the idea to introduce me to his newest friend, an unassuming red bottle of cough syrup. We bought one for each of us and headed straight home, me being beyond excited to try DXM which up until now had been described to me as “like acid but drunk.” Upon arrival at home we busted out both bottles and between periods of flirting and setting out activities for the soon to be trippy evening we downed a capful each about every twenty minutes. By the time I had finished my bottle and was feeling just a little woozy I looked up from my seat at the dining room table to see Bodega’s hand outstretched in offering, a small white tab sitting on a torn piece of foil. The familiar feeling of the tab slipping under my tongue was like an old friend to me. I went and cuddled with Shrink on the couch, who had abstained from the cough syrup but had partaken in Lucy with Bodega and I. Shortly after we took turns by the window sharing a one hitter.

I’d quickly set up my art supplies to paint, my ritual with acid being that I would rest on the couch beneath the rainbow of fairy lights, waiting for about forty or so minutes after which I’d find my way to my canvas and proceed to become completely lost in my own world of unhindered creativity. That night I barely made it off of the couch, as after seating myself the realization of how much I’d just done hit me. Everything began to be lost in a bright, rainbow haze as I only went up and up and up.

Eventually with a little prodding from Bodega, who’d been excited to see what I’d create this time, I ambled over to the canvas where immediately after sitting down my head met the canvas as I slumped against the big desk. Nausea was hitting me hard and I was struggling to move, my world becoming an indiscernible lava lamp, form bubbling from below into mushrooms and stars as Bodega and Shrink moved me to the bedroom. I was completely gone at this point, if not at least euphoric, having no idea what was going on but just happy to be there when I promptly projectile vomited onto the bed.

Before I knew it I was on all fours on the floor, suddenly rocketed back to my senses somewhat as I found myself staring into a bowl. I puked again. The Chinese food I’d eaten earlier that day was now a cloudy white soup in front of me, an undigested mushroom swimming and pulsating through the milky matter like a jellyfish. I was moved again, now lying on the living room floor next to a mass of vomit covered blankets and covers that my partners had hastily removed from the bedroom just a moment before. Only recognizing the bundle as something to cling onto as nausea once again shook me, I did exactly that only to be pried off of them by Bodega. I then attempted to get up only to lose my balance and fall backward over the couch and onto the floor on the other side. I looked up at my partners and, my vision and speech beginning to break up and lag, stuttered that I was “glitching out” before, as they describe, collapsing onto the floor only to get up, crab walk in a random direction, collapse, get up, crabwalk, collapse, and rinse and repeat, looking to my two partners like I’d been possessed ala The Exorcist.

What I was experiencing at this point was, upon the initial collapse, a complete sensory disconnect with reality. As I lay there I was in a black void, four moving textures appearing before me divided into four squares; one of stone, one of carpet, one of rushing water, and one at this point I can’t recall or describe. I could only hear the sound of my own breathing, wondering all the while what had become of me. Was I dead? No, I decided, I must have lost control and begun to flee out of the apartment and down the hallway. Soon I’d be arrested and my life would be over. Clearly this was the only thing that could come of this I’d decided before being suddenly surfaced into consciousness. I’d attempted to get up, to crawl backward before my vision would freeze in place, and shrink, the snapshot moving into the corner of the black void. Again I’d come to consciousness, trying again in vain to get up before my vision froze, and a second snapshot would join that first in the corner. This occurred over and over, a mosaic of frames gathering on the right side of my field of view before I came to once again, this time bundled in blankets on the floor.

I looked up, seeing Shrink looking over me, his face expressionless and grim. I remember him looking so old in that moment, the lines of his face pronounced beneath the technicolor lights, flowing from his face onto the geometry of the patterned drug rug he’d been wearing. I attempted to speak to him but instead my left arm spasmed, flopping back uselessly over my head. I went under again, the events of the night playing out of order before me on a mangled mess of film.

I attempted to speak to him but instead my left arm spasmed, flopping back uselessly over my head. I went under again, the events of the night playing out of order before me on a mangled mess of film.

 At some point I found myself reliving an uncomfortable moment from a trip from months before where I'd acted in a way I regretted, behaving the time immaturely, paranoid of the two people I loved more than anything. I came back again somewhat only to watch myself in third person, babbling about time travel, puking into the blankets I’d been bundled in over and over only to fold the blankets over the puke like that would somehow make it go away. Gone again, I became a clock, or maybe a set of gears, spinning in the void, hitching like something wasn’t quite right, like a spanner had been thrown into the works. Back to consciousness for a moment, laying against the couch, my clothes and the blankets now gone. I could see Bodega next to me, naked, his eyes closed. Outside the sliding glass door, past the balcony I could see an alien skyline of rounded blue buildings. The entertainment center had become two glowing, bulbous orange cones, dripping with gooey, viscous moisture.

I went under one last time, this time becoming a chain spinning through the gears, a tooth missing in the chain, or was it the chain was missing a link? Spinning, spinning, spinning until something caught and like a string finally going through the eye of a needle, like a hook in a loop, with a yoink I came back. Two baby blue eyes stared into mine. They didn’t look human at first, the immediate recognition of contact not registering at first before click, I realized it was Bodega, leaning over me, his expression intense, focused. I attempted to speak, choking on my words at first, struggling to move as if coming back from sleep paralysis. I sputtered out his name. Shrink’s voice came meekly from the couch as I made my way to my feet, “Don’t freak out, but we think you might’ve had a psychotic break.”

After a long stare at myself in the mirror and a lot of cleaning, my night for the most part ended, most of the more intense effects having worn off at this point which had been approximately five hours after dosing. Bodega and Shrink went on to drop more acid, wanting to have a little more fun that night to make up for having had to baby sit me through my “journey." I retired to the couch to reflect on what I’d experienced and how we could improve at managing crises like this one. Since that day I’ve mostly avoided mixing substances, and have yet to work up the courage to try DXM again, though I do want to try it by itself at least once, next time with a lot more preparation and forethought.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 115150

Gender: Not Specified

Age at time of experience: 25

Published: Jun 26, 2023	Views: 495

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DXM (22), LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Health Problems (27), Guides / Sitters (39), Small Group (2-9) (17)