		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:45
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 6:30
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (capsule)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

How we decided to try LSD or the first time was both interesting and unexpected. Having recently discovered MDMA, my best friend decided to accompany some of his friends to a European electro festival where, he told me, he had been invited to try LSD. Given my 'knowledge' of LSD at the time I was afraid that he might just do something as silly as try it. What did that knowledge consist of? Well, the typical media lies:

Persistent perceptual changes

No insight into being on a substance and, therefore, an inability to make smart decisions on LSD

Horrible acid flashes with demonic figures dancing across your visual field (especially at moments when you most needed to focus and concentrate)

The burning of holes into ones brain, holes that fill with acid that periodically burn bigger holes (and thereby cause said acid flashes)

The wealth of misinformation that exists is extensive and, as far as I can tell, a terrible ploy to prevent people from exploring the inner workings of their minds and the outer edges of what is possible. Harm reduction and safe tripping seems wholly better than a generation of liars leading a generation of lied-to.

Anyway, my own pursuit of psychiatry had lead me to learn about experiments using various psychoactive substances for the treatment of certain conditions. MDMA was being explored for its utility in treating death-anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Interestingly, prior to the development of MDMA, LSD had featured prominently in psychotherapy for much the same reason - it enabled the user to tap into his or her inner mind and emerge with new insight into the origin of problems. Thankfully, the organization which orchestrated much of this research and reported on it had resources for the interested consumer to peruse.

Out of curiosity, I downloaded and read the personal account written by a prominent psychiatrist from the 1970s about his LSD trip experienced as part of a training session while preparing to perform LSD psychotherapy. My eyes were opened. A psychiatrist took the stuff? Believed in it? Lived to tell the tale? Huh.

The website had a well researched and composed document outlining the pharmacology of LSD as well as its physical and psychological effects. The media lies were exposed. LSD is merely a serotonin agonist, much like many of the drugs used in the medical world. My fear evaporated.

I contacted my friend and told him I wanted to know what it would be like to see sounds and hear colors, to hallucinate and explore the edges of the universe and to challenge the 'realities' we accept blankly. We picked a weekend following my exams where life would be devoid of stress and we started to plan.

At first we were unsure whether or not we'd have our first psychedelic experience with mushrooms or LSD - but reading a host of internet forums lead us to one major conclusion: people seemed to believe that despite being a markedly longer trip, LSD was more mellow and therefore harder to have a bad trip on. As we were both keen on avoiding a bad trip we decided to skip the mushrooms and go straight for the LSD.

The night before we dropped the acid we had a wonderful dinner with my family and then retreated to my house in a small community 45 minutes from the city. Arriving there we immediately noted the peace and tranquility which bathed our surroundings. We'd brought with us comfortable clothes, arts and craft supplies, and a glass globe with an electrical component at its centre which caused purple beams of light to radiate from the middle towards the glass surrounding the electrical component (if you can't visualize that I apologize for my poor descriptive writing). We had a quarter ounce of cannabis, 4 pills of MDMA and 2 tabs of acid.

That night we smoked a joint together. I typically don't smoke pot with anyone except this particular friend I was with, my best friend, because of its tendency to induce paranoia and self-reproach in me - things I can easily do without. Marijuana, while helping me have some deep thoughts, also makes me doubt myself, my relationships and my surroundings. It makes me go, as my friend and I say, 'into my head.' That night was no exception.

Some wonderful experiences were had while stoned, but by the end of the night I was questioning my productivity, I was questioning the extent to which drugs had secretly taken over my life, I was questioning my career choices and I was definitely questioning whether or not I would stick to the plan and take LSD the next day.

As awful as this sounds, it actually had a wonderful repercussion. The day after I smoke pot I tend to have relinquished much of the negative cognitions I experienced the day before, but I have a certain 'brain fuzz' that lingers. That day, again, was no exception. I was able to think more clearly and I was able to come to grips with most of what had happened. But two issues remained.

1. I had been unable to express to my best friend and confidante what I was struggling with the night before - choosing rather to remain silent and not bring down his high.

2. I was experiencing insecurities regarding my recently started relationship with the most amazing girl I know.

I told my friend about what had happened the night before and, in his usual supportive way, he told me that we wouldn't go ahead with our trip unless my mind was in the right place. Simply knowing that we could abort this plan at any point helped me realize that I was in control of my drug experiences, not the other way around. To ensure that any issues that arose were discussed we made a fluorescent multicoloured sign and stuck it to the TV screen where it would be unmissable. The sign read:

If you have a problem...

JUST SAY SO

If you think there's a problem...

JUST ASK

LLP (Life loving people)

The beauty of this was the we had instituted a rule whereby openness and honesty were to be employed and respected, and as much as they were before, it was now a stated necessity.

Moments before dropping, my friend employed the rule and told me he sensed that I was off. I told him about issue #2 (above) and, with his usual brilliance and insight, he told me to call my girlfriend. I did so. I told her openly about my feelings of vulnerability with her, that if I lost her I could no longer brush it off, that I would be devastated. She reassured me in the most honest way possible. Her words alone sent me to the moon. I smiled. My anxiety faded. I met my friend in my living room and we got ready for our adventure.

The acid tabs we had were much smaller than I was expecting. About 5mm x 5mm each, and they weren't paper thin as I'd imagined, but were rather about 1mm thick. As I said, there were two of them. Not knowing how potent they were, my friend and I had agreed to start out with a half tab each, to wait 2 hours (as we'd been lead to believe the trip would last 12 hours) and then take the other half if we felt we could handle it.

One. Two. Three. And down the rabbit hole we jumped, hoping we'd meet Alice and her companions down below. The effects kicked in much faster than either my friend or I were expecting. In about 15 minutes we both felt 'something.' It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it was, but we were certainly not sober. The come on, as we'd been promised by another friend who had taken the same LSD, was wonderfully smooth, with very gradual peaking.

The trip can probably be divided into three major parts, at least from my standpoint.

Part 1 - Energy and Exploration

To start off with my friend and I decided to just hang out inside my house. We put on the electro music we love and found that within minutes we were dancing. The lightness of my feet was extraordinary and I felt light as a pixie dancing in an open meadow. I felt calm, relaxed, mellow, free and wanted nothing more than to dance. All of a sudden there was a wonderful experience of patterns and detail. I can hardly say that I stood in one spot staring at a single picture or painting on my wall, agasp and mesmerized, but I did notice intricacies of sound and sight. I felt my couch and was astonished at its softness, my friend sat down on the couch and I surrounded him with pillows telling him to feel the warm embrace of the couch. He did and he loved it. Then he discovered the carpet and starred at it's fine hairy detail and watched it pulsate with waveforms. At the same time I lay on my back and looked at my ceiling. Nine months I'd lived in this house and never had I taken the time to stop and notice the beautiful detail in the ceiling where blobs and streaks of white paint textured it and enabled the light to change it's appearance throughout the day. What a waste to have never noticed that.

Looking at another wall in my house I noticed that the light refracting around it caused three distinct layers of shadow to appear, how marvellous that the interaction between light and drywall could create such art. I pointed it out to my friend. He noted it too, we marvelled at it, we delighted in it and once again we danced to the music that was playing.

Then a song came on; a song that my friend said was 'transformative.' I'd never heard it before. I danced freely and wildly enjoying the subtleties of the sound emerging from my speakers. My friend started to dance, but danced slower... and slower... and slower... then stopped.

'Something is wrong,' he said. 'YES!' I thought! The rule was working. I smiled and asked him what was wrong. 'My energy isn't where it should be.' I took two pillows off of the couch and laid them on the floor, I invited my friend to sit on one, while I sat on the other. Cross legged we faced one another and I encouraged my friend to explore where his energy was. We pondered and delved into the factors affecting our set and setting and suddenly it dawned on me. My friend had made an association with this song previously, in a different set. It had been transformative then, but now it was a song that held meaning in a different time and place, it wasn't meant to be played here, it wasn't the same song in this new mindstate, in this new place, with a different person. I suggested changing the song and my friend agreed. Within seconds his soul lifted, he smiled, he said: 'Oh yeah! I'm back!' And we danced some more.

We had instituted a no-cell-phone policy for the day, not wanting to be lost to text and phone calls, but somehow both of our phones had turned on. When my friend looked at his he had a missed call from a friend who we'd helped the night before prior to dinner. My phone revealed a missed call as well. We decided it wasn't our responsibility to help this person and we planned to leave for a walk.

'Something is wrong,' I said, moments before leaving. The pillows were once again placed on the floor. Once again we sat on them, legs crossed. And once again we explored the avenues of thought that were leading to wrongness. It's important to note, that in all of this 'wrongness' there was nothing 'negative' felt. Everything was mellow and everything was positive, there were just nuances that instilled a certain wrongness that could be explored, dealt with and eliminated.

'I would hate to be in her position without someone to talk to. What does it mean if we don't provide assistance when we can?' We explored our options, carefully, every avenue discussed and brought to a logical conclusion that satisfied our souls that we'd done our due diligence to see the truth of our options. We decided to call our friend, to give her a set amount of time to unload her emotions if needed, or to advise her to call the police if things were a real problem. Another text message arrived on my friend's phone as we were about to call and we knew that the situation wasn't urgent, didn't warrant the potential mind fuck that could come out of a non-desperate situation painted as desperate; and we were at ease to continue with our own exploration.

At this point it was about 1 hour 45 minutes into the trip. It was wonderful. The liberation and depth of thought, the energy and activation, the honesty and truth, these are what life is full of, these are what people try to suppress so that we conform to a rigid world without color, where black is black and white is white. We decided we were ready and dropped the other half tab of LSD each.

We left on our walk with two goals in mind: 1) Glow sticks from the dollar store 2) food.

The detail which I mentioned we'd noted in the house was something we continued to notice in the outside world. I was wearing flip-flops and as I walked over a small patch of snow, some of the icy crystals melted on my toe. The intensity of the cold was profound, but the connection it made me feel to both my senses and the world around me trumped the discomfort of the cold. I drank in the sensation and told my friend of it. He had just had the same experience with the wind on his face. I noticed things I'd never noticed before on a street I'd driven down hundreds of times. A flag blowing above a garage, the smiles of the cars that were parked along its length, the sharp angles of the trees, the interplay between light and darkness. Walking past another patch of ice my friend stopped to admire a crack in its thickness and a tiny trickle of water that rushed down a rough trough carved in the ice. How did so many patterns and wonderful sights exist on such a short street?

Interestingly, we'd walked down the same street the night before while stoned on the cannabis we smoked, but then the street seemed unusually long. It was new in it's length, it made me realize that I'd never really focused on it as I drove up and down it, but because I was 'in my head' I wasn't on the street noticing its beauty. But now, now I was soaking it all in.

Cars drove by us and we felt at ease. If people wanted to approach us we'd speak to them, where the night before we'd have run. We could't stop smiling and my friend pointed this out. Trying to frown engendered fits of laughter, focusing on the smile made us aware of the tension in our muscles that were so purposefully pulling up the corners of our lips. Unable to stop smiling we passed a family, a beautiful family unit as they walked by us. We wondered if they thought we were high, we didn't care, we just wondered. A police car drove by us, we noted how attractive the female officer was, she wasn't scary. We thought of Hunter S Thompson. We laughed and marched on.

Prior to entering the pizza shop we noted an incredible aspect of the LSD trip - we retained an incredible ability to ground ourselves if needed. We could pull ourselves together for long enough to make it through a normal interaction - this was interesting because it combatted the idea that making decisions was impossible on LSD. More media lies. We mustered some composure, ordered pizza and proceeded to sit on the sidewalk outside the shop for the 15 minutes required until the food was ready.

At this point I had not experienced any real visuals, anything unusual - I'd merely paid attention to detail. My friend is much much smaller than I am and metabolizes drugs incredibly differently to me. In his body they seem to have a much faster onset and a much longer effect when we take the same dose. Accordingly, he'd been reporting seeing things move for about an hour. Sitting outside the pizza shop was no exception. He watched the parking lot pavement pulsate, he watched light posts bend and sway. I saw none of this. Together we saw a most beautiful flock of (real) birds swirl through the sky and rejoiced in the coming spring. We spoke about our readiness to take LSD, about how hallucinations could be terrifying for people who needed their world to have rules or order, who needed black to be black and white to be white. We acknowledged our readiness to have black sometimes be white, to have white sometimes be black and to have a grey zone in the middle that was every shade of purple. It was our place and time in life, the confidence we had in our existence and path that allowed us to have such a mesmerizing experience with LSD and to accept its insights and breaking of the rules. 'Who,' we wondered, 'could ever say that what we were experiencing was bad?'

The pizza shop employees, having recognized our comfort on the sidewalk, were kind enough to bring our pizza out to us rather than waiting for us to go back into the shop for it. We thanked them profusely, inspired by their kindness.

As we walked home I began to wonder about the interactions between all things. How was it that objects maintained distinct forms? How was it that objects interacted? Gravity doesn't simply act between the earth and objects on the planet, but a gravitational force exists between everything. Between the parking lot and my sandal, between my sandal and my foot, between me and the tree 5 feet away from me. I told me friend about this, and we smiled at the way that we were connected to every object around us, to one another, to everyone. The air is filled with molecules with which we interact. We batted our hands in the air trying to feel the molecules we were hitting, wishing we could, being unable to, but knowing they were there. I consider myself an atheist, I don't believe in an all powerful deity ruling over the world. I'm a man of science, and I believe that life happens, and that upon death there is also decay. Our bodies decompose, the molecular components are recycled. This didn't change with LSD, but I admitted to my friend, for the first time in forever that I did believe in interconnection between all things - not godliness or spirituality, for the terms have been usurped by religions, but just an interconnectedness. And right then I felt connected.

Part 2 - Emotions and Engagement

We got back into the house, the warmth like a heartfelt embrace. My friend was famished and sat down to eat immediately. I couldn't fathom the idea of food and somehow wound up on the ground in fits of hysterical laughter. I'm a person who likes to have fun no doubt, but I'm prone to about 4 to 6 real laughing fits a year. This was the second of 2012, and by far the most powerful. What a release to laugh, what a rush. My friend joined. Where would we go next!

At some point the music came back on. We stood with our backs to the wall and felt the bass reverberate through our bodies. But I couldn't be contained by the wall. I danced.

In order to further warm up, my friend and I decided to make tea. We systematically smelled each and every flavour of tea I had in my place. I chose my flavour, he chose his. We boiled the kettle, made the tea. I can't remember when the empathy and hugging began, but, if it had been prior, it hadn't been as profound as when the tea was made. I sipped mine, it was good, but not spectacular. I wanted to taste my friends. His was spectacular. I encouraged him to taste mine. He loved it. He loved it so much that he refused to take it when I offered it to him, he wanted me to enjoy what I had created. I told him the truth, that I wanted to trade because I preferred his. He preferred mine. We exchanged cups. We smiled. We'd exchanged for the better, but not only for our own better, but for the better of the other. What reciprocity!

We sat in the living room and I reminded my friend that he had told me he had two gifts for me this weekend that he'd told me about. One was intangible and had been given to me the night before - it was LOVE rolled into the joint he'd made (that's not a drug reference, he simply meant that he'd rolled the joint with love in his heart). The other was tangible and he gave it to me now.

In December 2011 this same friend and I had gone on an epic road trip through the southern United States. On a highway in Mississippi he'd asked me to stop the car suddenly. He opened his door, stuck his hand out of the car and picked up a rock. How many times had it been driven over, how many times had someone thought to stop and touch it, feel it, connect with it? He had this rock now. He gave it to me. He told me to have it. We agreed that the first one of us to die one day would be buried with the rock. I was humbled. Humbled that he still had the rock. Humbled that it meant so much to him. Humbled that despite that, it was a gift for me. Humbled that it would go to the grave.

Eating his pizza my friend decided he wanted vegetables. I had some red peppers in the fridge and went to the kitchen to get one. My friend joined me in the kitchen and stood against the counter staring at the floor. He asked if I could see it moving. I couldn't. He insisted I look harder. I looked harder. I fixed my gaze. The linoleum began to shimmer and shine, the triangles of its pattern began to glimmer and vibrate. And suddenly, in a single moment the floor began to undulate. Distinct waveforms were occurring. They were going from side to side, and they were going back and forward. 'YES!' I cried, 'I see it!'

Elated for me, and excited that I could share in his visuals, my friend turned to me, hugged me as I watched the floor wave on. What an embrace, it was so selfless, it wasn't for his joy or pleasure, it was because of my ability to enjoy something he'd seen and marveled in. 'That's what I've been seeing for over an hour! Isn't it incredible?' I agreed, how could I not, the rules of straight lines and solid floors were malleable - nothing is what it seems or as static as we are told it ought to be.

Next we decided to have 4 water experiences. We were going to drink water out of a glass, out of a pitcher, out of a water bottle and through a straw - I wondered if each would be different. But before we started my friend added a fifth water experience. He grabbed another red pepper, cut off the top and filled the bottom half with water. He invited me to take a sip. It was the most incredible water I'd ever had. The intensity of the smell upon bringing my nose to the pepper was wonderful. The naturalness of the flavour was heavenly - if only all water could taste like this. I closed my eyes and sipped and was immediately surrounded by green. It's difficult to explain the extent of that green, because although my eyes were closed, the color was not merely in my minds eye. I saw myself as a small person on a red platform, surrounded extensively and on all sides by a deep natural green. The moment the sip was over, and the moment I opened my eyes the color faded. I pushed the pepper into my friend's hand and told him to experience the same.

Something we noticed about the LSD trip to this point was that it had taken us places we never could have imagined we'd go. This wasn't just like getting stoned on pot with silliness and, in my case, paranoia. This wasn't like getting sluggish and uninhibited with alcohol. This wasn't a simple empathic euphoria like MDMA. While we had been embraced by a myriad positive experiences to this point and a paucity of negative experiences, we hadn't expected some of the thought experiments, visuals, and intensity of detail and emotion that we'd experienced thus far.

I mention this because shortly after the pepper experience we both seemed to come down a little, and wondered if the trip was ending. I turned to my friend and said: 'who knows where we'll go next.'

There was no way we could have known.

Less than a week before this experience I was accepted to a training program in a city that isn't my home city. It will be away from my family and friends. I'm excited for it, but I had been living with a certain denial of the reality of leaving my loved ones behind. My friend had alluded earlier in the night to the fact that it would be hard when I left. We tried to brush this aside, not wanting to introduce the potentially painful reality of this transition into our trip. But in accord with our sign, issues had to be dealt with. I expressed to my friend that his friendship over the last 3 years had been transformative in my life, that the only reason it was going to be hard to say goodbye was because something valuable had happened. I told him I knew we'd be friends for eternity, that this was being solidified today. I told him we were freer people having had friends like this in our lives. I brought myself out of that denial of leaving - or so I thought.

I can't remember the actual sequence of events which lead to me bringing a scented candle and scented oil diffuser kit into the living room, but at some point I did. These had been a gift from my sister, my best friend. When my girlfriend had been in town a few weeks previously, I mentioned to my sister that I wanted to borrow her scented candles for the weekend for my girlfriend and I. She refused to let me have her big ones, and opted to give me a few scented tea lights. A week later when I saw my sister she had the kit which I now took into my living room waiting at her house for me. How kind, how sweet, how selfless.

I took the candle out of the box, I took the diffuser kit out of the box. I told my friend where they'd come from. And suddenly I felt a sharpness in my throat. I looked at the diffuser kit and said to my friend: 'I'm not going to open this, I'm going to save it for my new house, so that my sister can always be with me.' He said that sounded perfect. I said I'd light the candle. We opened the diffuser bottle with the oil in it to see what it smelled like. The scent was as powerful as the emotion that it brought out. I was so blessed to have a sister like her, so blessed to have her love and her kindness, so blessed to be cared for and appreciated by that amazing girl. I tried to hold back the tears. I tried because I didn't want to face the reality of moving away yet. But it was impossible.

In a flash I was a crying mess, I was, as my friend later put it, breaking up (not down). He checked that my tears were of joy and not sadness, and I assured him they were. In respect for that my friend backed off to a couch and let me have my thoughts and tears. I asked for permission to break the no-cellphone policy and call my sister. Without hesitation my friend agreed.

Hearing my sisters voice and being able to express my emotions to her was a validation like I haven't had in ages. The tears were such a reprieve, the joy that followed immeasurable. I felt as though mother earth had bathed me in the purest fountain and I felt an inner peace and tranquility like I haven't felt for ages. All the while, my friend sat on a couch across the room watching the interaction, he teared with me. I was honoured that he could witness that. Very few of my friends have ever seen me break up like that, I think all of them have been girls but this was different, this established a bond the likes of which my friend and I had the potential for, but had never established.

My friend wanted to share the experience and told me that he was unsure what it was that would let him release. It took a while to be able to find the release, but we did nonetheless. It related to him being from out of town and missing his family, wanting them to know that he loved them, being amazed at what incredible people they were. I told him it was okay to cry, okay to miss them, okay to break up. Between fits of laughter and half tears we weren't sure what was going to happen. But the the flood gates opened and my friend lay on the floor crying as well. Being on LSD he couldn't exactly call his family at the time (my sister knew we were tripping that day, so I could call her without worry), but he cried. Earlier in our friendship this same friend had told me about a time in his undergraduate degree when he had been having a hard time and had been invited to spend the night at a friends place where they shared a bed and were just there for one another. I knew that that experience had meant the world to my friend and I had always wanted to have something similar, to solidify the depth of our friendship. As he lay crying on the ground, I put my arm around him, my other arm on his head and told him that it was okay, to let it out. He did. I cried with him, understanding the power of his emotion. The connection established at that moment was unlike any I'd had with a friend prior and transformative. There was now nothing that my friend and I couldn't say or do in front of one another, nothing at all - we'd transcended the limits of possibility and had gotten so much closer in the depths of the rabbit hole.

Part 3 - Exhaustion and Endings

It was difficult to transition from this deeply emotional state to one of mellowness and ease. The intensity of emotion, while being positive, had also been just that - particularly intense. The heat of the house was becoming oppressive and we began to question whether or not we were still having fun on this trip, not in a negative way, but in a curious way.

We decided to go for a cigarette, and from there on another walk to buy cold drinks. The walk, while refreshing was, unlike the one before, tiring and long. I continued to question whether or not my friend was still enjoying the trip, really wanting him to be, but realizing that the more I agonized over this the less I was enjoying it. This isn't to say that I wasn't enjoying it, just that there was 'something wrong' because of my wondering. Almost at the store we lay down on the ground. The crisp grass felt amazing on my body and the still night sky felt just as refreshing. I decided that I needed to lay down when we got home, not to sleep, but just to stop moving. Our minds had been moving at a mile a minute for about 5 hours now and our bodies hadn't ceased either - a rest seemed like a good idea.

We bought our drinks and made the agonizingly long walk home. Reaching home I put on socks and shoes, got a blanket and moved to the backyard with my friend. I had a profound sense of akathisia (sensations of inter restlessness) at this point which was problematic because moving was exhausting, but laying down left me too still. I tried to focus on the sky with some success. I marveled at a tree which, bathed in light, seemed like it was covered in glass or crystals. I was mesmerized by a flock of white birds which glittered in the moon light and danced through the sky.

In the backyard my friend and I explored the definitions of mental health and objective reality. He got scared when he recounted a story from work, wherein a young man with psychosis told my friend about his hallucinations of an amish girl he saw at night, black holes for eyes, blood coming from various orifices when he looked closely. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to get the image out of my mind. Just then the gate of the back yard, which we'd walked through earlier in the night, creaked open and swung shut again. There was an eerie feeling of being in a true horror film. I advocated for my friend and I to leave and go back inside the house, but he said something amazing: 'We know it's just a gate, we know nothing bad can happen...let's challenge the fear.'

The profundity of that statement may seem benign, but given the intensity of the LSD emotions it was an incredible challenge to face the fear and an incredible reward to surmount it. As the fear faded my friend and I smiled at our success. We retreated inside not because of fear, but because of the cold. We had been successful.

At this point we were exhausted, it was about 10 at night and the trip had been 6 hours long at this point. We went inside the house, played some more music and covered the living room floor in brightly colored towels. My friend feel in love with the pattern of one towel and expressed a desire to have one like it. I offered him the same one he grew to love. He smiled, asked if I was sure. How could I not share what I had with someone who'd gone down the rabbit hole with me, with someone I'd cried with as such. We embraced.

We made tea again, and I had one piece of the pizza (that was all the food I ate that day, the stimulant effect of the LSD acting as an anorexic and eliminating any hunger). We settled on the couch to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. It was exactly the relaxing activity we both needed, to be entertained and to no longer be entertaining ourselves and one another.

At 10:30 we were confident the trip was over and we decided to take a half capsule of MDMA each. What followed is part of a different story, as the MDMA experience seemed distinct from the LSD trip. Needless to say, however, the empathy wrought by the MDMA was that much more powerful between my friend and I given the depth of friendship we'd built over the day.

In all, this trip was incredible. It was deep, profound, inspiring and moving. We gained appreciation for detail and the connectedness of the world. We recognized the way in which every moment exists for both a moment and forever, how missing a moment means potentially missing a lifetime of memories and moments, how appreciating life for every moment enables one to live forever. We saw the floor move and saw the freedom in breaking the linear rules of the world. We had been free and had transcended the bounds of the possible and of reality. But most importantly, we had done it together, we had tripped as friends and emerged as something higher than friends.

I'm writing this two days after the trip and I have yet to truly see how this trip will integrate itself into my life and to see what longstanding changes it will make. I didn't appreciate the impact of MDMA in my life until a good week or so after taking it and so I harbour no delusions to fully understand the power of our experience yet, but I have no doubt that it was for the better and will ultimately give me insight into my life, my world and my friendships that I would have never gained without that tiny piece of paper covered in LSD.

I will say that the trip was far less visual that I understood LSD to be, perhaps it was the quality, perhaps it was the quantity or perhaps my understanding of the visuals is misguided due to the aforementioned media lies. All I know is that visual or not, LSD is an incredible substance that entices the user to explore the true workings of his or her mind, body and soul, makes lies impossible and makes truth beautiful. Perhaps this is only because, as I said before, my friend and I were ready for the trip. Perhaps (or, likely) the substance is horridly scary for those unable to face their inner truths - but that something as insight provoking as LSD is considered 'wrong' is perhaps one of the wrongest things I can fathom.

It brought me joy and tears and depth and insight that, while being unsure of their permanent impact, I will never soon forget.

Thank you Albert Hoffman. Thank you to my friend - that truly was the trip of a lifetime. Holy is our friendship.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95292

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 26

Published: Mar 18, 2013	Views: 30,029

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 11:15
		 66 ug
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

[Erowid Note: This is an early self-report of the use of LSD from Myron Stolaroff's papers collected and scanned as part of Erowid's Stolaroff Collection. You can view the original as a scanned PDF that includes two type-written drafts, attached together, with some hand-written edits in the second draft.

The report demonstrates some of Myron's self-characterized 'neuroticism', which he later describes in detail in his writings. Although a little long and personal, it is interesting as a historical document of early LSD use intentionally for spiritual and psychological development. In his book Thanatos to Eros, Myron mentions that the dose is 66 micrograms. ]

15 May 1956

REPORT OF SESSION OF M. J. STOLAROFF, 16 APRIL 1956.

Description of Subject:

Born Roswell, New Mexico, August 20, 1920. Married, two children.

Education:

Roswell High School, New Mexico Military Institute, Stanford University. Obtained A.B. In Electrical Engineering and M.A in Electrical Engineering.

Employment:

War years with Navy Department, Bureau of Ships, as Civilian Engineer. Subsequently with Ampex Corporation as Design Engineer, Production Engineer, Engineering Administration, Instrumentation Sales Manager, and Assistant to President.

Major Interest:

Evolution of human personality as approached by Sequoia Seminar. Leading study groups involved with this search.

Reason for Session:

Had heard reports of effects of mescaline and LSD when properly administered. Since my principal aim is forming a satisfactory relationship with God and helping others to do so, I felt it vital to evaluate this material, both for my development and as in the work being accomplished by Sequoia Seminar.

Preparation For Session:

On February 1, in Redwood City, California, was tested with CO2 gas. Went up to eight inhalations. Experienced wonderful feeling of prayer, colored imagery. Also took tablets containing approximately 20 mg. of mescaline. [Erowid Note: This should say 'methadrine' here, rather than 'mescaline'. The error in drug name was later corrected in Myron's autobiography, Thanatos to Eros; introducing his subjects to altered states of consciousness by using a mixture of CO2 and oxygen, and by using methadrine (methamphetamine) was the standard approach taken by Al Hubbard. Prior to giving them a stronger psychedelic, Hubbard first wanted to make sure that the subject responded well to these milder drugs.] Produced wonderful feeling of [euphoria], heightened intensity of awareness, much greater creativity, complete absence of feelings of anxiety or insecurity.

On April 15, the day before the session, spent the entire day talking with my two directors, was tested by each of them with CO2 . Although was quite nervous, by last tests was cooperating quite freely [inhaling], and got as high as 20 inhalations. Each test was very pleasant experience with colored imagery, almost invariably involving a playing field with people playing games of one kind or another. No insights of significance.

On April 16, before session, first visited the Catholic Church in Vancouver. Met Father Brown and received his benediction. He promised to honor us at Noon Mass. Met with the other director, while he checked my ability to relax under his instructions.

I took the material at 11:15 A.M., taking approximately 2/3 of a vial of LSD in 1/2 glass of water. I then sat quietly in a chair, listening to spiritual music with my two directors.

The first feeling I experienced was one of calmness and peace. All fear and nervousness left me, and I felt very good. In about 20 minutes to 1/2 hour, things began to become humorous. As I looked at my directors, I couldn't help smiling, then laughing. I had to turn my head away to recover. Then I looked at them and said, 'What a couple of characters!' and we all laughed. It kept getting funnier and funnier. One of the directors said, 'This is his first repression.' I thought of how somber and serious I had always been, and how everything was so important. I saw now that life was simply a game, a joyful, humorous game, and I laughed and laughed at my serious approach to everything. The other director, a very serious looking individual said 'Now Myron, let's be serious'. I laughed so hard that my sides ached.

Now as I closed my eyes, I began to see images, all kinds of colored shapes and forms, continually moving. It is utterly impossible to describe the variety of shapes that passed before me, and they changed rapidly enough so that I could not remember any specific ones. I was listening to the Gregorian Chants, and the music was enrapturing, yet very humorous. I thought of the solemnity of the Church, and laughed and laughed at the manner in which it was attempted to make the church serious, when it was really all so funny. Later when the Requiem Mass was played, I thought that this also was uproariously funny. But behind everything, I had a wonderful feeling of God, and expressed gratitude that I could see this underlying base which was manifested in all that I was experiencing.

In the meantime, the images were becoming less dreamy and more vividly colored. I saw statues of persons, buildings, and similar things, but all moving by very rapidly, continually changing. I had been told to read the postulates I had prepared before the session several times in the first hour or so. I looked at them, but couldn't get the slightest bit interested in them. I began to wonder if I was going to laugh through the whole eight hours of the session. I thought to myself, 'We're going to have to get this guy Myron out here and look him over.' I visualized a kangaroo court, with I and the directors sitting in judgment, while Myron was on trial.

With my eyes closed, I was seeing continuous imagery. When I opened my eyes, the room was still there as it always was, with perhaps more intenseness of color and presence of the various objects, such as I have sometimes experienced in attempts of contemplating my surroundings. From previous reports I had read and heard, I expected that when the drug took effect things in the room would start changing, and I would start experiencing events from the past. Since the room was unchanged, and, if anything, more clear, I felt that the drug had not yet taken effect. I kept looking at my watch, since I had been told that the drug would take effect generally by and hour, and would reach its peak in 1½ to 2 hours. As one hour approached, and nothing happened, I began to get apprehensive. I asked 'Are you sure you gave me enough?' I could feel the drug pulling at me, but with not nearly enough force to overtake customary consciousness. I was assured that I had been given enough. As time passed the one hour mark, I became more and more apprehensive, and kept looking at my watch. I then began to become afraid that the whole thing was not going to work. All my preparatory work, my trip to Canada, my planning on the great spiritual accomplishments I would achieve, would be for naught. This fear continued to mount, and I became more and more in a state of turmoil. My thinking became less clear, my mouth became thick. But even more serious, I was not living up to expectations. One of my directors had made it very clear not only to me but with others that I had passed all preliminary tests in great shape, and that he expected great things from my session. He had described many of the wonders that could be experienced with this material. I began to realize that I was not the person he thought I was, and I began to have feelings of utter failure. Then there was some resentment toward the director for having led me to expect all these wonderful things, which obviously weren't happening! I expressed the fear that I was not living up to the expectations, and the pre-session conversations indicated that they expected too much of me. I was asked, 'Who expected too much from you, Myron?'

This immediately struck home, and I realized with a jolt that it was my expectations that were not being filled. It was I who had come to expect great things, who considered myself a spiritually advanced person, who believed the session would produce an enlightened new being. Then I realized how all my life I had strived and strived to live up to the high standards I continually set for myself. Now it was clear that these standards were all a fabrication, and I had deluded myself in warping my while life to meet these high ideals.

I felt miserable, and sat helplessly, unable to communicate or focus my thoughts. One of the directors handed me a picture of the head of Jesus, done in brilliant color. He asked me to concentrate on it for a while to focus my thoughts. As I sat looking at it, he asked me, 'Who do you see there?' I looked fixedly, as if fascinated, at the picture. After a while it appeared that the eyes were open, then closed, then open and closed in rapid succession. I asked myself, why do the eyes keep opening and closing? Suddenly the picture changed to the head of another man, then another and another in a rapid succession. They changed so rapidly that I could not keep up with them, although I distinctly remember the figure of a pious rabbi with long beard, a caveman with large jaw, and a bald-headed Mongolian with narrow mustache. Finally I said, 'This is every man'.

Next I was asked, 'What is the meaning of the Resurrection?' I knew it was an important question, but could not bring myself to focus on it. Instead I continued to stare stupidly at the picture. After more time had passed, I was asked if I would like to lie down on the couch. I agreed. My mind was very hazy during this period, and I have forgotten many of the details that transpired. However, just before lying down, I remember saying that the material was not working as I had expected, and I was told, 'We have given you the material, Myron. It's up to you to use it'. This made a deep impression on me, as I knew that somehow I was not making proper use of the material. The incident of the picture proved that the material would work if I permitted it.

On the couch, I continued to be in extreme discomfort, with deep sense of failure. It seemed as though the drug were trying to take over, and I kept feeling that I needed more time, more time. I felt as though I was trying to be pulled back into the birth experience. My legs were trying to shrivel up, but they ached and shivered with nothing happening. One of my directors then suggested that I picture myself in the womb, and made some suggestions along these lines. The suggestions were not helpful, although I felt I was trying to go through the birth experience, and it was just taking time to work out. I lay [quietly] and shivered. I placed my hand on my stomach, as I could feel something pressing down there. There was another pressure on my forehead. Observing this, I was asked if I was [an instrument] baby. I somehow felt that I was, and that these were the pressures of instruments. Much time passed on the couch as I struggled to bring myself into the experience. I felt I needed more time, and must have verbalized it. I was asked what it was that I had. I then knew that time was all I had, there was plenty of time. If I didn't do it in this session, there would be another session, and if not then, then a following one. I realized after a while there was no sense postponing it, there was really no way out. The experience had to be gone through, and I might as well face it. If I didn't face it now, there was all the time in the world to face it later, but eventually it must be faced.

This realization took some time to work out. In the meantime, it was aided by various communications. Some of the more effective questions asked me were[:] 'What does it mean to be born again?' 'What is the meaning of the pearl of great price?' These things I knew, and they helped me face the problem. I was quoted, 'There is a time for _____ and a time for _____, etc. What is this a time for, Myron?' And I knew the answer, that this was a time for being. I was told to let the experience happen, that an air of humility was required. I was reminded that to enter the kingdom of God one must be like little children. All of these things drove home the fact that I must give up control, and let myself go into the experience.

I went through about 1½ to 2 hours of turmoil on the couch. During this period, a strange thing happened to my time scale. Instead of being three hours into the session, I had myself convinced that time had stretched way out, and that I had lay down on the couch after only about ½ hour into the session. The seemingly long time of the drug taking effect was really only about five minutes or so, and I was really going under the way I was supposed to. I felt that if I could get the directors and the room out of consciousness, then I could slip into the experience quite readily. In fact, I even reached the point where the room and some of the conversation I had overheard were not the reality, but some dim illusion, and the reality was that we were only a little over ½ hour into the session, and that I was sneaking away from the illusion so I could go through the birth experience.

At this point, one of the directors sensed what was going on, and had me sit up. He explained that it would do no good to go off on some other time track to go through the experience; this would just be time repeating itself. To have any effect, I must consciously watch the procedure, in contact with my directors. I was very confused, and said that I did not understand. I was told to stop trying to understand, that this was my problem. And I knew that it was. I could see the tremendous effort the rational mind trying to maintain control, to understand and explain everything that was happening. I tried to relinquish this control, but to no avail.

After three hours, with no further developments, I was told to sit up, and asked to think over what had happened in the session thus far and see if there been any value in it. I moved back to the chair, and started meditating. Immediately my mind seemed to clear up, and function extremely well. I saw all that had happened quite clearly, and saw the value of it. I felt that this was the best part of the session thus far, and communicated this thought.

I was told good, then perhaps I could start thinking about the postulates on my paper. What about the first on my list, the need for approval? I started meditating about this, meditating as I would in my regular prayer period. I asked myself whose approval I was seeking. I thought of my father, my mother, and other members of the family, and knew it was not theirs. Then I thought about my birth. I realized thus far that I must have had a difficult birth, that I was an instrument baby, and that somehow I must have been behind schedule. As I thought about this, I suddenly found myself grasped, and squeezed down, and in the womb. The back of my neck and upper vertebrae were crushed in pain. Then I was moving out, and I was taking quick, deep gasps of breath. Suddenly I was out and I felt the wonderful feeling of freedom. Faintly I saw a hospital scene with nurse and doctor, distinctly smelled the ether! Instantly I knew and blurted out, 'I wasn't born on time. They couldn't wait for me to be born!' And from this intense feeling of not living up to expectations, of not coming into the world on time, hinged my insatiable need of approval and my driving compulsion with time. I could see all the patterns of my life tying into this main root - my need for approval, my feeling that there is never enough time and we must never waste time but get things done as fast as possible, always driving, driving for the goal. And with this realization, the patterns and compulsions evaporated! It was quite a relief.

With this experience behind me, I started meditating in earnest. I soon found my mind wandering off in some imagery. Suddenly I realized that for me, phantasy is better then reality. This phrase kept repeating itself over and over, 'Phantasy is better then reality. Phantasy is better then reality.' I asked myself, Why is phantasy better then reality? Immediately the answer came, I can't face reality. Once again I asked myself, why? I then began to get a feeling of dread. I knew that I was about to face some experience of the past that was terribly dreadful, and I did not have any idea what it was. But I somehow knew that it was the most dreadful things I would ever have to face. I communicated my thinking processed to this time. I wanted to ask one of the directors what he thought it might be, but even before doing so realized that it didn't make any difference what he thought, I would have to face it and find out for myself.

It took some time to work up to the next experience. My fear was intense, and it required a great deal of effort to reach the point where I could go through it. I thought how wonderful it would be to be free of whatever was logging me down. I knew there was no avoiding it. In fact, I told my directors that we would have to go through this if it took the rest of the day or even the rest of the week. This I now thoroughly realized, I had all the time I needed, and there was no way out. I told them I would need all of their help, and to pray for me. Instantly I experienced a feeling of lightening of the load, I said, 'Prayer helps.'

Once more I felt myself grasped and pulled into an experience. Again I entered the womb, being crushed down, with the same feeling of my neck and upper vertebrae of my back being under intense, painful pressure. Then I saw a red field before me, with blood vessels running vertically and horizontally. I saw corpuscles of blood running swiftly through the vessels. I realized that I was looking at the wall of the womb. Then I had the feeling of being carried backward in time, going back through a long series of events which passed so quickly it was impossible to see what they were. Suddenly we ( I say 'we' because I feel I was being carried) stopped and I saw a small sphere like a bubble, and it grew and grew until it occupied the while field of vision. As the bubble grew, there was a feeling of freedom, relief of the pressure and pain that still held over from the womb. Suddenly something bright red like a dart pierced the bubble, and I had a definite association of God. I also thought Life. I have not yet comprehended what this experience was, although I had a dim feeling of God granting life, perhaps conception. At any rate, from this point I moved backwards in time again, and the intensity of pain and pressure increased. It was still in the form of my neck and upper back being crushed. Then it felt as though there was a hole in the left rear part of my skull, as though it were deeply depressed. Likewise, my jaw seemed to be pushed way in. I immediately thought of the depressed jaw of the caveman, but I knew the association came from seeing a similar expression in Galliene's report. The intensity of the pressure increased, and built up until I could barely stand it. It felt as though my head were going to burst. All the tissue seemed to be in great tension, and I recognized the feeling as one I had felt in prayer many times, but had avoided allowing building up to this intensity. As I was wondering how much more I could stand, I felt as though the back of my head was being ripped apart. As this happened, I saw an image of a circle which then divided itself in two, as a cell divides. I could feel and hear a ripping sound as this happened. There was a slight feeling of relief as the two halves parted, then the tension gradually subsided, and the experience was over.

I could not comprehend the significance of the experience after the vision of the wall of the womb. Also, there was no feeling of relief or understanding, and I knew that there was more to go through. Once again I had to steel myself for another dreadful experience. I asked myself, 'What more does God want of me?' I thought about it, and thought perhaps I had not experienced enough pain. I must be ready to face more pain, and for a longer period of time. I thought of the parable of the pearl of the great price, and realized the tremendous insight and genius of Jesus. I had always thought that I had understood that parable, but now I saw that there was much, much more to it, and I was filled with wonder. I saw clearly that we could not have the Kingdom until we were willing to pay the full price, and the price was much greater then I ever expected. And I knew that it had to be greater, else we could never realize the value and worth of the Kingdom.

It did not take as long this time to prepare for the next experience. The next time I felt myself pulled under, my head was turned leaning to one side as thought against my will. The same pain in the neck and upper back was there. My face felt real long, as though my head were that of a horse. I was held in this position for a while, and then the experience slowly subsided. I recovered, wondering what it was all about. After a while it started in again, following exactly the same pattern. This time, however, the pressure on the neck and back was much greater. The pressure slowly built up, as though my neck and upper back were being squeezed in vise. I could feel each little bone aching separately. The pain got so intense that I didn't see how it could get any worse, and remained so. I thought to myself, 'Is this as much pain as I can stand?' Perhaps I should have stand even more, so that I would cry out. I felt as though it were impossible to feel any more pain, although I didn't feel like crying out. This peak of pain continued for a while, then gradually subsided.

When the experience was over, I felt as though I still did not have the answer. Something more was still expected of me. I communicated my bewilderment, and asked, 'What more does God want of me? I was willing to stand pain (which for me is about the worst possible thing to face, as I've always been afraid of physical pain) but that wasn't enough. Then I was willing to stand pain for a long time, but that still [wasn't] enough.' I thought to myself, what more can I give? Then the answer came - the only thing I could think of to give that was more than I had already given was life itself. I communicated this thought, and said, 'Perhaps I almost lost my life in the birth experience, and I have to go through that again.' So I started meditating on this thought.

I thought to myself that many times I had meditated on what I would give to God, and had certainly meditated on my willingness to give up my life. Then I suddenly saw that it was not I who was giving up my life. I had always been willing to give my life, providing someone else pulled the trigger. I was willing to be nailed to the cross, but someone else would do the nailing. Then I realized that in my whole pattern of doing God's will, I was simply allowing myself to be maneuvered into situations, and then willingly accepting the circumstances. I was not using my initiative! I realized with deep intensity that initiative was one of the key functions that God gave us. It is a priceless possession, and must be used creatively. It is this God-given initiative that makes us specifically human. And I could see in countless situations in my life, I was not using it, but taking a passive attitude, letting others determine the conditions and then merely following suit.

With this realization, I knew that I must willingly and actively hand over my life to God. This then I was prepared to do. But as soon as I started, a tremendous feeling of relief came over me. I saw that I didn't have to give up my life! I only had to be willing to do so! This realization and the relief that it brought was so intense that I felt that this was the principal point of the whole session. As soon as I saw this, I announced, 'The session is over!'

Eight hours had passed now, and preparations for dinner commenced. I sat, still somewhat agitated and trembling, trying to absorb the enormous impact of all that I had been through. As I became more relaxed and settled down, I soon felt like meditating again. I therefore asked for quiet, and proceeded to think. I couldn't help but marvel at all that I had seen. I was amused by the fact that after all I had been through, in the end I was required to do nothing. However, I had been forced to experience a lot before this was shown to me. I was also amused by my first impression in the session that it was all tremendously funny. If I had only known what I would have to face! I realized that great responsibility we face when we ask others to take up the spiritual path. Never again could I ask anyone to do this. It must be his own free choice.

I realized at this time that I had not experience any of the mystical experiences and wonder of God that I had heard about. These to me seemed highly irrelevant. At my present state of development, the simple truths which I had realized were the [all-important] things, and everything else seemed incidental by comparison. I knew that we would be shown only that which corresponded to our state of development. Yet as I thought about it, it occurred to me that now I had realized some of the essential truths, and particularly saw the price of the Kingdom, perhaps God would show me some of these wonders. I began to meditate on it, and experienced a wonderful feeling of power. Now God and I were partners, and there is nothing he would not show me, from the ends of Time to the outermost reaches of space. Dim vision of these things floated by - not concrete experience as I had preciously been through, but dreamy images. I felt that God and I together could fly anywhere. So I said to myself, 'All aboard. Let's go.' And I thought of what I would like to see first.

Suddenly, I realized, 'Just a minute, brother. Who says where we are going to go?' Then I realized I had placed myself in the driver’s seat. It was I who was deciding where we should go. We would get no place on this basis. It was God who would decide where we would go. And it was up to me to be willing to go wherever He led me, regardless of where it may be. I realized that this too had been true throughout my life - I insisted on being the pilot, maintaining always tight, rational control, selfishly wanting to call the shots. I could see the error of this pattern, and my job was to simply be, be just plain old Myron, even though he were not all the fancy things I had previously thought him to be. So now I prepared myself to experience whatever God had in store for me, even though it be painful and fearful.

As I realized the need to be willing to accept what may come, I felt that I still had more to go through in the birth experience. I asked the directors for their help. I was told that too much time had elapsed now, and the material would run out in a couple of minutes. Therefore there was no point in starting anything new. I was disappointed, although I realized there was no rush and would be plenty of time in the future sessions. My disappointment stemmed from my feelings of failure in the session, for having taken so long to get started, and hoping that I could clear up more things before it was over. However, I was talked out of it, and we proceeded with dinner.

I felt very good while eating, but toward the end of dinner began feeling depressed. My mind kept dwelling in the birth experience, and I was afraid of being alone that night, feeling that I would be pulled right back into it. I still felt under the influence of the material, and after dinner I stated this and said that I felt like trying to go through the experience. I was advised against it, it being pointed out that once during the session I had been unwilling to take advice of the directors, trying to get away from them when my time scale was changing. I felt duly contrite, but even while the director was talking, I had to fight back an almost uncontrollable urge to plunge into the birth experience. After a couple of hours of talking and a brisk walk, I was given some pills to put me to sleep. It seemed to take ages for them to work, as my mind kept working most actively. I finally fell asleep, and awoke the next morning with a wonderful feeling of stability.

While I think that the first day after the session I was still somewhat disappointed in myself in finding that I was really at a much lower spiritual level then I thought, within a few days when I more fully comprehended what had transpired, I realized that I had gotten exactly what I wanted! The full impact of insight I had obtained and the wonder of God struck home, changing my entire life in ways that defy description.

Exp Year: 1956	ExpID: 99779

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 35

Published: Apr 1, 2013	Views: 13,050

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Guides / Sitters (39), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1.2 g
		 oral
		 Mushrooms
		 (dried)

		   T+ 0:18
		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (gel tab)

		   T+ 7:37
		 2 g
		 oral
		 Mushrooms
		 (dried)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

I am documenting this experience about a year after it happened. It was mind-blowing and awesome in a very gentle way. I have taken mushrooms plenty of times, perhaps 30 or so, and had done LSD about 6 or 7 times prior to this trip. I have used cannabis for about 4 years now, and have also had some breakthrough experiences with DMT, salvia, and mescaline via San Pedro. I was never interested in pills, alcohol, or cigarettes. I was never a smoker, and nor have I taken pills recreationally more than 5 or 6 times. My alcohol consumption is quite irregular, ranging from weeks, months, and years between drinks. I am interested in the introspective and spiritual dimensions of the psychedelic experience, and have grown interested in it as a catalyst for positive personal growth. Calvin (not his real name) weighs about 140 lbs and was 26 at the time. He has done everything under the sun, but has cleaned his life up and no longer does hard drugs, drinks or takes pills excessively. We were both in high spirits on this beautiful Midsummer Day.

4:35 pm. I picked up Calvin, with whom I had made some informal plans to trip with that day. We decided to proceed, as our schedules often conflicted and rarely offered us the opportunity to do so. He was finishing up his associates degree and readying to transfer to another college, and I was finishing my bachelors thesis (based on Griffiths, Richard, McCann, and Jesse study of Psilocybin and Mystical Experiences) and readying to move across the country to pursue graduate studies in psychology, all while balancing a fulltime job atop of all that. Calvin had recently obtained a few goodies from a festival, and amongst his cache were some mushroom capsules (each containing between 1.1-1.3 grams), supposedly from Colorado. I had a few gel tabs of LSD in my personal stash, and some distinctly potent psilocybin mushrooms (of the cubensis variety) as well. I grabbed 8 tabs and 6g of dried mushrooms before hitting the road. It was a short ride to Calvin's house from mine, so we swallowed the capsules on the way there. We had agreed to take these first so that we could test the authenticity.

4:53 pm. We arrived at his place before any effects were felt, and I unloaded my laptop and other gear in the upstairs Studio of his house. It is necessary that I describe this studio space. This is a room in the upper corner of a late 1700's plantation house, and it is decorated with leopard print rugs and pillows, a wall of bizarre purses, pink and red lighting, bird feathers of many sorts, curtains of exquisite lattice work, and Greek style bust all dressed in outrageous hats and scarves. I used the pre-tripping time to prepare the marijuana. Prior to tripping, I usually break up all my green, pack bowls, roll blunts and such, as I anticipate difficulty doing so in an inebriated state. Calvin and I decided that a walk was well in order, and before leaving the studio, we decided to take the gel tabs. We consumed 4 each.

5:36 pm. We proceeded outside. He lives amongst Acres of farmlands and forest. We decided to walk near a cornfield at the edge of his property. The sun was setting, and the effects of the capsule were starting to become present. Oddly enough, the LSD had started kicking in as the capsulated mushrooms were beginning to take effect. We had both had these tabs before, and though they were clean and generally pleasant, they were not particularly strong. We shared a bowl as the effects continued to manifest. There was a great sense of mental expansion, meaning that I had this distinct feeling that my mind was encompassing more than my immediate experience, and was amongst a great shift. I had strong inner hallucinations at this point, which were a show of colors, shapes, geometric structures, and these small ethereal mechanized shadow-like figures all superimposed on the cornfield in front of me. I have encountered entities before while under the influence of a hallucinogen, and I did not feel any threat from them. I felt that their presence was welcoming, and that they had something to teach us. I said to my friend 'I feel like different points in time are all intersecting where I stand'. He was lost in his own world, and seemed to be having a staring competition with the ground. He asked me to explain myself, and I stated something to the effect of 'different points in time are accessible through the mind's memory banks, and you can mentally relive moments while your physical body is in the present. When your perception of time and the limits of what can be encompassed by your immediate perception are altered, it is thus possible to experience multiple points of time simultaneously'.

6:24 pm. The sky and trees washed with yellow, reds, and greens. Joy swept over us, and it was like our hearts were winged and filled with springs. Those mushroom capsules certainly were from Colorado, if not from heaven. We walked down the road, watching the sun disappear over the tree line. I could distinguish not a single tree amongst the bunch, and they took on the shapes of mountains and hills. It was impossible to assess the distance between the road we were on and the fields that lay between us and the tree line, though we both knew in actuality that the two were quite far apart. Calvin and I spoke of ways to heal the world, and I briefly mentioned the idea that people achieving a unified state of consciousness and thus all having the same experience at once might be a way to mankind together on the same page. He loved my idea for its poetic idealism, but saw it as nothing more than that. I wasn’t much bothered by it, since him and I frequently debate our philosophical opinions.

8:38 pm. It started getting dark so we made our way back towards the house. As we did so, Calvin ate about 4 grams of the mushrooms I had brought. Calvin himself has tripped many a time and has no problem with such a dosage, as his average mushroom dosage is about 5-7 grams.

9:24 pm. We returned to his house and I made my way to the studio to select some tunes. I decided on Vijay Raghav Rao's Raga Malkuans, which features flute, sitar, and tabla. Calvin was doing something in another part of the house, so in the mean time, I decided to do some stretching. The energetic feel of LSD gives me this pinpoint awareness of constrictions in my muscles, while the mushrooms cause my muscles to relax. I consider mushrooms to be a great remedy for muscle pain, as my muscles always feels mush looser post trip. I inadvertently started doing Yoga to work out these strains. I had never done Yoga before and had no formal knowledge of it. I was simply moving in a way to manipulate the energy present in my body to relieve points of tension, mainly in my hamstrings shoulders, and lower back.

10:42 pm. My friend arrived midway through my session and pointed this fact out to me. The impromptu session was quite significant, because at that point, Yoga finally made sense to me. Calvin had prepared for us some grapes and juice, as well as a bit of sorbet. Quite ideal. He was beginning to space out and yawn, as the mushrooms he had eaten were kicking in. I have taken mushrooms before which have made me very tired, and I have had some trips on them in which I fall asleep for short periods and experienced extremely vivid dreams, which are far realer than anything experienced in that semi waking consciousness that mushrooms elicit. That I should say, is a territory for the brave.

11:32 pm. I could tell that this is where Calvin was going, so I suggested to him that we meditate and listen to the track I had selected. Now, what I am about to tell you is quite interesting. I hit play after a couple of hearty bowl hits, and we both sat at rest with our eyes closed. At the same time, we both began to smell strong floral incense. We both made mention of this, and were astonished that we experienced the same phenomena. My internal visualization was one of a “green tapestry of thoughts and consciousness', which was alive and aware, and had a benevolent presence. I had the strangest idea that we had plugged into some ultimate state of unified consciousness through a solar plant entity, since we both described the same vision. Ironic that we had this experience, considering my early musings.

12:12 am. We discussed this experience as the song ended. I decided at this point to consume the remaining 2 grams of dried mushrooms. We smoked some more cannabis and joked through the rest of the songs on the album. They were all very fancy and festive sounding, and played well against the decor of the room. We changed it up a little, and put on some old school Tangerine Dream afterwards, Alpha Centauri, Phaedra, and Ricochet, along with Manuel Göttsching’s Inventions for Electric Guitar.

12:48 am. The mushrooms were coming on strong. I had had some from this batch before, and they had never kicked in this fast. I was sitting on a stool at one point (I don't remember walking to it to sit) passing a blunt back and forth to Calvin. We found it to be especially tasty, and by God, I don’t think I ever savored a blunt as much as I did that one.

1:26 am. The mushrooms started to assert their presence, and I knew I was going to be bought into a world of spirits to learn some powerful lesson. The room took on deep blue, green, and purple hues. I felt like my body and the area around me all occupied the same space. I couldn't feel the stool beneath me, and at some points which conversing with Calvin, I viewed myself from above or felt like I was floating.

1:52 am. His face took on a stone like appearance, at times like the sphinx or face on mars, and it would occasionally dissolve into sand and reform on the pillow he lay upon. I was being drawn further and further in a realm with no clearly defined physical or metaphysical limits. I saw in my mind the shadow-like figures from the field, this time clothed in peacock feathers and leopard print. I felt that there was a lesson to be learned through this experience, so I spoke the words I felt compelled to, which launched Calvin and me into a discussion about Christianity. I identify mostly with the folk, shamanic, and animistic beliefs of the pre-colinized Americas, as well as some Buddhist, Hindu, Catholic, and Mystic beliefs. Calvin is a self described Greek Orthodox Gnostic (GOG). At this moment, he is preparing to go to seminary school to be ordained as a Minister. Good for him! His hyper-philosophical and skeptical ponderings will ensure that he is a preacher of truth and not of dogma. Read on below, and you may understand why.

2:32 am. I continued to look towards Calvin and speak. The colors of the room grew deeper. Alien-like figures danced amongst the lattice curtains on the wall. The deep red table curtain behind him was now deep purple with a golden feather trim, and moved as though blown forward by the slow and powerful breath of a great spirit. The Greek bust to the sides of Calvin now became full figures of animated stoned, and both took on the shapes of bewitching women in robes sporting long flowing hair which blew in the opposite direction of the wind from the curtain. Holographic crucifixes emerged from Calvin’s body and rotated around it. I silently wondered if I was seeing the workings of some protective force he seemed to possess, as he had been delivered by the hands of grace many times. We conversed intensely, each point in the conversation like a rung on the ladder towards realization.

3:06 am. The conversation was bought to its conclusion, in which we agreed that humanity was stuck on the image of Christ’s death, and therefore not able to envision the salvation that succeeded it. I see his death (whether it was real or mythical, it matters not to me) as a metaphor of a unified experience of consciousness necessary to unite mankind. Perhaps not the rebirth or resurrection of Christ nor any known religious or spiritual form, but maybe a mass attunement to a sense of knowing that the depths of understanding and perception intrinsic to us contain all of our possibilities to manifest our highest states of knowing and being.

The rest of the evening was spent talking, laughing, munching on grapes, sipping tea, and smoking ganja. We crashed around 5:30am to 6:00am, and woke between 11:00am and 12:30pm. We were refreshed, and after a small breakfast I went to class and Calvin resumed packing and studying.

I was honored to have had this experience. Believe it or not, the overall mood of the trip was very mellow even though it was quite intense. Indeed, I have began to decode the mechanics of these experiences, so I have a fair idea of how to approach the sense of otherness I encounter. I had so much to reflect on and integrate after this trip was over. I got an A on my thesis, and it was so well written that my instructor has kept it to use as an example for other students. She later shared stories of her use of pot and psychedelics as a student at Skid Row in the sixties! I have since moved across the country to pursue graduate studies in psychology, and hope to one day pursue research into the use of psychedelics in clinical settings. I have been inspired to do so not only by the ancients of this world, but by the enormous amount of healing they have brought me. I hope that psilopsychologist is one day a legitimate professional title.

I encourage everyone to use psychedelics responsibly, and in an introspective manner. You can still have fun this way, and learn an awful lot as well!

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 87058

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 24

Published: Apr 14, 2013	Views: 26,260

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LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

The experience I am about to write about has changed my life completely. About a year ago I took acid for the first time. A regular smoker of weed, the other drugs I had tried before acid were MDMA, coke, mephedrone and ketamine. My other drug experiences don't come close in terms of intensity and life-changing ability as my acid experience did.

First of all, I feel like I need to outline the fact that I was with my ex-boyfriend (with whom I'd decided to stay friends- although that has changed now) and his friends (4 of us all together). Sober, I felt completely comfortable with these people. I had a respect for acid before I'd tried it and therefore listened to my friends who had already taken it and I put myself in a setting in which I felt relaxed and myself (as they had directed me to). I took it inside, with purposefully placed wall-hangings and mattresses on the floor with a big set of speakers near by, with the ipod already playing deep house/liquid drum and bass.

I took my first tab (I do not know how the dosage exactly was as I never asked), and about an hour later we found ourselves outside in the snow. I have never seen anything so beautiful as I did that first hour or so. Snow is detailed naturally, and I have always enjoyed examining snowflakes, but on acid it was infinitely more beautiful, and I mean infinitely in its' purest definition. I felt no negatives at this point, I even stripped off to see if I could feel cold in a bad way and I did not. The only reason I put my top/trousers back on was because I could tell I was freaking out my friends who thought I was going to get hyperthermia or something, and I did not want to scare them. Other than the infinite beauty of the snow, I can remember the trees of the park we were in were waving at me, and my friends faces were slowly becoming more and more warpy.

At this point, I felt amazing- kind of like my best experience on MDMA times a hundred, but I was still concious and aware of the fact that I was not 'tripping' like my friends had described it- my eyesight seemed a much better quality, but it was still MY eyesight. I took another tab, and about half an hour later stuff really started to kick off. I remember no gradual feeling, all I know is at one point I was seeing reality and the next moment I was seeing either reality with visuals, or a completely imagined one (to this day I do not know). I remember at this point going 'blind'. I could feel that my eyes were open, but I was seeing a cartoon; one which had no relation to my normal reality. There was nothing in this cartoon which had any relation to myself or to my normal surroundings. At this point, I panicked and for a few hours, I guess (I say guess because I do not know how much time I spent in this mind-space) my experience was not enjoyable.

It felt like I was stuck in a loop, and I one hundred percent thought, during this time, that I was not coming back and I can remember thinking 'I could be in a mental hospital right now and I would not know'. I had many bad 'trips' during this time. For instance, at one point (I again do not know how long for, but it felt like forever) I was 'dead', and I could feel my chest being pumped (this feeling was probably stemming from heavy breathing). I could hear my family, my mother and sisters, shouting 'come on, come back to us' and I spent a while trying mentally to do just that.

This feeling of being dead happened a few times, in a few different ways- my mind was stuck in what felt like a 3 second loop and every now and then this feeling of being stuck in a loop became too much to handle and I think this is why I believed I was dying. In that previous trip, I was told I was dying by my family, but then another thing happened; I accepted my death fully, later on, which in itself is a bit of a death I think! When I did this, and I really don't know how long I had been on acid for at this point, I melted away. I lost control fully but it did not scare me anymore. I was not holding on to the real world and this is when I had a profound experience. The only way I can describe what I felt  is that all at once I was nothing, but also part of everything. I did not know who I was, and had no memory of my life. This therefore meant that suddenly I was part of everything. I felt like I was floating in infinity, for infinity, but I do not know if I could even say there was an 'I', as in me, present during this time. I was seeing nothing but strange, blurred geometric patterns on a white backround, which would then dissolve into pure white and then black and so on and so forth. I do not know when, but at one point I must have fallen asleep.

I woke up the next day and was not 'blind' anymore- a huge relief. However, I was still mentally tripping and could not grasp time. This feeling of being disconnected from time completely lasted for around a week. I could not remember anything, and I have been told since that during this week my friends and family were scared of the way I was behaving. All I can say is sorry they felt like that. It took me a while to feel 'normal' again- whatever normal is, but I know that I now look at the world differently. Whilst I can remember having long periods of terrible feelings on that acid trip, I am thankful I did it because it honestly has made me who I am today. It was neither a good nor bad experience on the whole, but a learning one. Just like school- and for me at least, the time I spent on acid felt almost as long as my school career! A powerful drug, and one which I am amazed at for it's abilities- it has definitely affected my sober thought which is at once pretty scary, but if you look at it a different way it's pretty brilliant!

I don't think it's possible to describe it at all but I have done my best!

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 99985

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Apr 22, 2013	Views: 30,993

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 17:00
		 100 ug
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 22:00
		 4 g
		 oral
		 Mushrooms
		 (dried)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 smoked
		 Cannabis - Hash
		 (extract)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

This is my 3rd time doing LSD

The first time i did 150 micrograms, which was very powerful, this time i will be doing 100 micrograms...

I have experience with a variety of psychedelics

such as, but not limited to; 2C-B, 2C-E, 2C-T-2, 2C-I, mushrooms, 4-AcO-DMT, 5-MeO-DiPT, Bromo-DragonFLY &amp; DMT

5:00 ingest 100 micrograms of LSD

5:20 first alert

5:33 positive mood lift is felt along with a creeping/rising euphoria, i can tell that this will get stronger/better :)

5:45 going to a parade, this should be fun!

5:45 to 8:45 - attended the parade, it was amazing! i had headphones on and was jamming dubstep during the whole parade

which made it even better!  it was sooo beautiful! it was everything i thought that it would be and more! :)

i thought that the cops would know how high i was on LSD so i tried to look way,

when they drove by so they wouldn't see my pupils!

8:50 - tripping pretty significantly, the euphoria is amazing!!! music is excellent! listening to some diplo :)

9:15 - chillin with my cat and he is purring in my lap this is sooo sweet!

9:35 - loving life :):

9:35 to 1:00 - My trip was dying down at this point and i got upset with my exgirlfriend so that didn't help either

and at this point i thought that my night was pretty much over...when i get a call from a friend, i'll call him 7.

7 tells me he's coming over, which was nice because i was pretty upset and melancholy, 7 comes and picks me up with a few other people who I will call R &amp; C. R is driving and is on 7 grams of shrooms, so is 7, and C had consumed mushies as well [Erowid does not condone or support operating any vehicles while under the influence of any substance].  They offered to let me trip mushrooms and i felt like i was up for my first combo so i ended up taking 4 grams of mushrooms when we arrived at R's apartment... i convinced myself that the LSD was pretty much done at this point... boy was i wrong. in about an hour or two i could tell that the LSD was still lingering, because i had insane visuals.

1:00 to 6:00 - i lost track of time at this point... R's apartment had writing all over the wall and the words were shifting and moving all over the place, i was staring at the wall like it was TV... dubstep made the words move and shift and sway and expand and all sorts of wacky stuff... i loved it, it wasn't too intense at this point... but all that was about to change,

my friend 7 gave me a dab (hit) of hash oil, and this is where i felt the intensity of the LSD return along with the mindfuck of the mushrooms... i had a complete ego death... along with intense visuals both closed eye and open eye.

what was i? who was i? where was i?

The way i felt was unexplainable, I felt like I was in an alternate universe where the rules of time, physics, and gravity didn't really apply... for a second I felt like I was going to freak out, and my heart rate seemed faster than usual,

My thoughts started to race and i was slightly nervous... luckily i was able to calm down pretty quickly and talk myself out of freaking out... I remember at one point thinking to my self 'good job dude you just calmed yourself down, that could've been bad.  The intensity of the hit of hash oil lingered for about 30 minutes or so, it sent me flying into a wild and disconnected headspace... i fucking loved it, next time i would take a smaller hit of hash though, it was quite intense.

luckily i've been through much worse (2C-E overdose) so i was used to the feeling and knew that i would return to normal soon enough. i remember feeling like i was 'reset' or like i was a new person after the hit of hash oil. i was so happy to be alive, and was in a really great mood.

6:00 to 8:00 - i layed my head next to the speaker on the floor and thought about lots of stuff, like my ex girlfriend and relationships and my life... i think its possible that the argument i got in with my exgirlfriend may have contributed to the intensity of my trip, shaking up my emotions a bit and changing the feel of the trip... it was quite an amazing experience and i don't think i would do it again any time soon, but i am very happy to have had the experience, i also feel that it may have helped with some anxiety issues i've been having lately i felt alot more calm the next morning, and all day the next day... this is a combo i reccommend for anyone that needs to have a quick reality check and

it was a humbling experience... ego death is never something to mess around with, but it can't help you very much with becoming a better person... i hope you enjoyed my trip report.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 93952

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Jun 24, 2013	Views: 10,440

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LSD (2), Mushrooms (39), Cannabis - Hash (93) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00

		 Cannabis

		   T+ 4:30
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 5:15
		   repeated

		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   100 lb

0:00 1 hit Acid (blotter)

+1:00 marijuana

+4:30 ½ hit Acid (blotter)

+5:15 marijuana (repeated)

I am 19 at the time of the experience and writing this.  I take no supplements or prescriptions.  I follow a vegan diet, which may or may not effect things.  I have had plenty of previous exploration with acid, mushrooms, MDMA, DXM, mary jane, salvia and a host of stimulants and downers and things.

It was a gorgeous day out, I had just smashed a job interview (in a good way) and lucy was in town.  My friend J and I had decided to take our acid this weekend since a large group of our friends were headed to Bonneroo in a week, and we were going to be missing out on the festivities.

Armed with a strip and an sack, I headed to J's new apartment (we moved him in last night) and got cracking.  We took one hit at 2:00 and decided to wait to come up before dropping the second.  I wanted to see how good this stuff was before having more- it was supposed to be top notch, better than the last stuff we'd had, which had positively blown my mind.

We watched American Dad for a while, which was quite surreal by the time we turned it off.  It was much more apparent that the acid was kicking in now.  How long had it been?  We laid back and watched the dots on the ceiling move around.  We sat up, and began messing with all of the crazy new energy that was in the room.

We pulled string of energy from our foreheads.  They were like little sensors.  When I waved my fingers around above my eyebrows, it was like there was a whole bush of them growing out.  I could feel with them.  I began to play with the air, grabbing it and bending it, forming compressed cubes and balls, then letting them dissipate.  J began to glove barehanded- he perfected a new move that looked and felt as if he were peeling away space-time with his fingers.  I felt the urge to spin, but my nunchuka were at home.  I made do instead by building my own toy.  I built a large geometric framework in the air, and began to play with it.  I could feel it's weight and shape, and I tossed it around in the air, catching it, spinning it on my fingers, getting a feel for my new flow toy.  J told me he could see it, and I realized that I could as well... just not with my eyes.  I played with this new sensory perception for the entire trip.

I let my toy dissolve.  I looked at my hands. Every time I moved them, the lines following my pointing fingers created a new solid shape between them.  I could feel them pressing against my hands.  J decided to throw on some Gurren Laggen, and it was too visually intense for me.  I stood up and drew on the dry erase board on J's door, listening to the show instead.  During one particularly ridiculous string of techno jargon shouts came a phrase which we used for the rest of the trip, and are planning to use from now on: Probability Alteration.  It became the center of what I was drawing.  I realized that all that my life is is me altering probabilities. We laughed about this, and decided that this would be a new trump card for reality.  The anime turned off, and I laid down to watch the ceiling again, which was now gently boiling.  I looked at the time- 4:20.

We tried to decide whether or not we were stoners at the moment, and did we still do that thing and smoke at 4:20?  It seemed unlikely.  I used the dry erase marker as an impromptu poi (it was on the end of a cord) feeling the gravity of the tiny marker as it spun around me.  I put down the marker, and J grabbed a peach I had brought over and cut out some slices.  The peach reminded me of my synesthesia.

I have synesthesia cause by acid- it's not a bad thing, I actually love having my senses connected in a new way.  It happened earlier this year on an acid trip when I ate a tangerine. The flavors turned into a sunset that flowed out of my ears. Something that I could taste, hear, and feel all at the same time, yet not quite any of those at all.  It's stuck with me, but it's much more pronounced on psychedelics and much more... visual? Ugh, the limitations of language! Anyway, back to the story.

I thought about the Allman Brother's Eat a Peach and felt content.  I played with a thin piece of plastic that the doses had been wrapped in.  I could feel the thing in the center of my head, similarly to the sensor bush on my forehead, just in a flexible plane, not strands.

We decided to play some X-Box for a while, to see what it would be like to pilot an avatar.  We cheesed out for a while on there, and I noticed an incredible improvement in my marksmanship and maneuvering.  I felt very one with the controls and the representations on the screen.  At about this time, J's controller abruptly stopped working and we turned off the video games.

+4:30 We decided not to eat an entire second hit because I had a friend coming into town who wanted one (this was my last one) and this shit was already intense.  We decided instead to see what it would be like to have a half hit now and just draw out the comedown.  Under the tongue!

We left J's soon after that to meet some friends at my place.

The walk was fantastic. We had to wait to cross the street, between cars coming from both directions.  I watched as the cars moved by in four dimensions, and I crossed the street in the same four.  Even though the cars and I were at the same coordinates in the of the dimensions, we could both occupy the same space on the road because we had different coordinates in time.  Fascinating!

We trouped into my apartment, and my neighbor, Z, caught us right before we went in- he had had a bad day at work, but a few minutes of trip talk with us and he felt much better- “I just felt like I remembered the right way to think, you know?” He said.  It's true- the universe shows us exactly what we need to see all the time.  We just have to be aware enough to catch it.

The half hit was definitely kicking in now- a strange juxtaposition began to occur.  We came up on acid from a base line of acid.  Both the coming up and coming down energies were very distinct, and they interplayed with each other.  Being in a trance state already, however, made the come up super normal and comfortable.  We just melted into a new state.  It was like acidception- acid on acid.  The blanket I was sitting on looked as though there were balls of all sizes rolling around underneath it.  I threw on some Sky Tree and we soaked up the music, which described the mindset we were in to a T.  I could feel it running through my head, the sides of my face and through the room.

Some friends came over.  We rolled a blunt and went outside to enjoy that.  J and I appreciated the depth of the clouds as the sun set.  Our friends dropped J and I off back at J's place, and we watched Shanghai Noon while smoking several bongs.  The movie was like watching a play on screen- the acting seemed fake, we could easily pick out miniature sets and green screens, bad cuts, slip ups in lines, etc.  It was also interesting looking at how much popular film technique had changed in the past ten years- too many close shots, lots of shots from the floor... We had each seen the movie enough times that it made enough sense.  But we were still tripping more than hard enough for the whole thing to be totally absurd.

It was ten or eleven something at this time, and we threw in Cheech and Chong's Next Movie to more fully appreciate the comic genius of Tommy Chong (with more marijuana enjoyed throughout).  After this I headed home (around 1:00 am).  On the walk back, I stretched my energy around me, into large fans of veins that acted like giant ears.  I flexed them with relish.

I laid down on my bed to watch the ceiling do its last crawl.  I thought about the Buddha, and realized that he used a sort of positive karmic feedback loop to generate his insane amounts of karma-  in each life he could “reinvest” his previous karma, thus creating a nearly exponential loop.  It may take a while to get it rolling, but once you get it going, the thing would create stupid amounts of good karma.  I thought about how to apply this to my life, and realized that it was something I was already in the midst of, and that I needed to reinvest my energy to continue the cycle.

I went to sleep after that, and experienced a fantastic afterglow the next day.

In retrospect, this was an A++ experience.  It gets two thumbs up and my stamp of approval.  The clarity and strength were unmatched in my experience, and I was able to play with the world's energy in some crazy new ways.  I felt completely recharged, cleaned out and one with the universe.  Another beautiful entheogenic experience brought to me by LSD.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 96331

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jul 12, 2013	Views: 15,640

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Performance Enhancement (50), Glowing Experiences (4)