		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

This is my recollection of my first acid trip. It was done with my girlfriend who had never done it either. My experience with drugs consists of chemicals such as MDMA, MDA, MDE, Methamphetamine – by accident, thinking the were Ecstasy pills, Ketamine, Dipenhydramine (Dramamine), Adderall, Vicadin and plants such as marijuana and mushrooms.

Setting: My friend’s apartment with no one home except my girlfriend and I, very trippy one floor apartment weird pictures on the walls and interesting color schemes. Outside the weather is awful, raining/snowing/sleeting and cold. The night before, well about 1 that morning we took about 250 mg of Ketamine each at a rave and sniffed Rush, so that might have been a factor in the upcoming trip. At around 12:30 pm we dropped 3 tabs each and waited.

T+1 hour: Starting to feel odd, just straight out weird, a bit anxious, I can feel it in my stomach its really annoying, we're giggling about everything mocking the cats in the house, I don’t even know why, it was just funny. We start seeing some visuals, things turning and spiraling and patterns emerging and such, nothing brilliant but hey it was entertaining, the nausea is subsiding a bit. All of a sudden my friend (whose house I was at) comes into the house crying, and I think 'oh shit, tell me this isn’t just a perfectly cliché event to lead us onto a bad trip.'

So I go into the other room and that’s when the fear starts coming, because we just started coming up fairly strong when my friend came in and I’m like damnet, so I started thinking of like all these terrible things associated with evil and death and it was just scary, and I was on the VERGE of freaking out when my girlfriend came in and comforted me, saying how she was okay and my friend had made her hot chocolate. So I calmed down a bit, my friend left and it was us 2 again in the house.

T+2 hours: I'm starting to get reallly paranoid of my friends mom coming home, even though I knew for a fact she would not be home till about 6:30 and it was about 2 or 2:30. I kept trying to comprehend what was happening as nothing was real anymore, patterns emerged from every crevice of the room, the music was incredible but I just felt SO weird I couldn't take it. I was in a continual thought loop trying to figure out what was going on. I kept getting real scared and I just wanted it to end. My girlfriend calmed me down a bit, it took a while but she did. Making out is real weird, I got bizarre mental visions. I kept envisioning weird colors in my mind.

T+2.5 hours: Now the ceiling is raining rainbows, though the ceiling is actually white, and occasionally I see bursts of butterflies or it would start raining roses down on us. I was getting antsy again as I didn't know what to do with myself, we were literally stuck in the house because we couldn't go outside. The reason we couldn’t go outside is when we looked out the window the trees turned alive and multiplied their branches and were just terrifying.

Staring at the water on the ground from the second story window, the water turned into multitudes of letters and formed words. I was looking at black crows go by and right after they went by, a good 100+ more crows flew by in different areas of the sky (obviously hallucinations). So overall outside was too scary, but we didn't know what to do. I couldn't escape my mind which was on sensory overload. If there was no music I would hear sounds possibly miles away as if they were right next to me, and what was worse was they echoed - LOUD. And then there were more and more and more noises to the point where I couldn't be in the room.

T+3 hours: The acid was getting to me. I kept thinking that this wouldn't end and I'd be in a world that wasn't real forever, nothing was real anymore, the fan was alive, the walls were alive, the blankets were alive, the floor was alive. Patterns melted into each other, and then formed new ones, from those patterns came new ones. The tracers were unbelievable, I'd be able to swing my hands around and I could move the color/pattern scheme of one object right onto another object. If the wall was striped I could bring the stripes onto the floor.

As I walked into each room I began turning every light on in the apartment to make everything glow its own individual color. And it did, as I walked into the kitchen everything was green, we decided we were hungry but couldn’t eat anything so I took out clementimes. The problem was they were green, so we thought they were bad. The problem was that we forgot that when oranges are green it just means there not totally ripe. Somehow we thought that it was like bread, which turns green (mold) when it's bad, so it took us a while to figure that out.

T+4 hours: I am crazy. I am so far gone that I actually gave up. When my girlfriend was wondering the apartment, I decided to sit in this little tiny back room next to the refrigerator and wait it out. My girlfriend, being the persistent little girl she is came in and sat with me and basically talked me through it somehow. The irony is that I'm about 1000x more experienced than her but she managed to talk me into being happy. At one point I saw a train go by the window and my girlfriend saw a little girl standing in the middle of the room pointing towards a chandelier.

At this point the music started getting overwhelming, my music selection was shitty as I kind of just figured pink Floyd would be amazing, but in fact it was so bizarre it was actually scaring me so we vigorously searched through my friend’s selection and found Good Charlotte. Yes - good charlotte, we put it in and it was so corny that it made me happy! So were tripping out on the floor in her living room as my girlfriend is peeling/feeding me oranges and listening to Good Charlotte. By the way, eating fruit you like is a must; it beats any munchies I’ve ever ingested.

T+5 hours: At this point the mental part of the trip is diminishing, I have almost complete control of my mind which is wonderful because I'm totally not paranoid anymore and overall I'm just happy. But the great thing was, was the visuals were still increasing in intensity. The most beautiful patterns I've ever seen are appearing everywhere, everywhere I looked things were alive, and it was magnificent. On top of that, I was starting to melt from time to time. I would actually feel my fingers extending or growing or getting fat/thin and I'd see it as well. In fact I even showed my girlfriend how my fingers were stretching and she saw it as I saw it and as I felt it.

I was also, as well, able to control the movement of certain things with certain body parts, for example as my hand grew and shrank and moved I could move the door in that same fashion. As with looking at ourselves and each other, when I looked at my girlfriend her head would grow and shrink, and her eyes would grow huge, as well as her feet, but the rest of her body shrunk. It was if we were in Sonic the Hedgehog or Mario - actually she looked like a hedgehog, or tails from Sonic. At one point I saw my girlfriend was doing something weird with her arm, she was like trying to grab something in the sleeve of her sweatshirt with her hand. I asked her what she was doing and she said that her hand was lonely and wanted to meet another body part.

At one point we were standing in the kitchen and I was saying how I was hungry and could go for a snickers bar. All of a sudden she’s like 'Yeah! Jesse.' and that was it. I knew the rest of what she was going to say as one time Jesse gave us a snickers bar when we came home rolling and needed food bad, I knew the rest of what she was going to say because her memory actually transferred to me visually, I saw it happen in front of my eyes at that moment.

T+6 hours: At this point the visuals are receding, but just barely, the thought process was still really weird/fun. We took up some recreational time by drawing; I drew on her as she drew on a piece of paper. It looks like a mushroom but upside down it’s supposed to have facial features. This was my girlfriend's doing, creative eh?

T+8 hours: Sexual activity is fun, and were just having fun, things are still visually interesting, many things still breathing and swirling and very fun too look at, many patterns are still manifesting the house. We're laughing about a lot of things again and my girlfriend was sticking her tongue out at some poster cos she thought he was mean. haha.

T+9 hours we were still seeing visuals but my dad came and picked us up and brought my girlfriend home. When I came home I ate food, which was kinda icky, and talked to my girlfriend on the phone till 3 am - visuals were still here, I have some trippy shit in my room, lava lamps, electricity balls, etc. And they were making butterflies all over my ceiling.

The next morning I felt fairly fine, a bit brain dead. I wasn't too enthused to go to work for 6 hours, but managed to go and didn’t do to bad. Currently, the next day at 7:30 pm I feel almost completely back to normal.

Overall this was probably the most intense, but greatest more glorious experience of my entire life. I will definitely do it again, maybe next time in a better setting like outside in a park or in my room at night with my girlfriend of course, after all she did save my sanity.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 41821

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 11, 2007	Views: 73,248

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), Relationships (44), Sex Discussion (14), Music Discussion (22)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

My friend and I's first experience with acid happened May 12 of 2006. We had just gotten out of school so we figured hey, lets get some acid. We'd both done shrooms a couple of times before but that was it for hallucinogens.

7:30AM - we had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep the night before (anticipation) and decided we'd go to the local waffle house for a nice breakfast of Acid and water :) We put the fat blue-stained tabs on our tongues on the way and got our semi-retarded but sober friend to drive us there. Our first indications of anything different were probably about an hour after the drop at the waffle house. With the tabs still on our tongues, we decided to swallow them with water at our table. My friend looked down at a spoon that was next to me and said 'Oh fuck' because my face was starting to 'transform'. I didn’t notice any change until we got up to leave, when suddenly I felt really unnaturally tall. The ground was kind of slanted and colors took on a brighter, more vivid effect.

Then it happened. As we got into the car, we went into neverland. All of a sudden it had the effect of a mild mushroom trip and we decided to head for my friend's house because his parents were out. By the time we arrived, it was really starting to hit. Nothing freaked us out at this point even though neither of us had experienced as intense a thing as this before. Once inside, the hallucinations started happening. My first one I'll never forget was lookin at a statue on the mantle and watching it transform into a serpant and slither around. My friend started talkin to the horse head picture on the wall - he said it was pokin out and talking to him. Every aspect of the room seemed to be alive and in its own universe.

Our other friend/sitter decided to go out on the porch and smoke a joint while we continued trippin our balls off. Next stage of the trip, the bathroom. I walked in to take a piss and before I was able to turn on the lights, I had the most intense, realistic hallucinations of people and character's faces coming at me through the darkness. I yelled at my friend to get in there and he saw igniting sparks flying around his head. While our friend was blazing outside we went into the basement to attempt to play pool. HAHAHA. Right. We ended up hunting giraffes on a safari thinkin the pool cue's were spears. Our other sober friend came downstairs and I tried talking to him but I kept seeing things manifest from his face, mainly banana-stalks and images of fruit.

My trippin friend had left the room to go watch his countertop 'breathe' so I took the opportunity to stick my head into the freezer. Man the images I saw, I can’t even describe it. Eventually all 4 of us wound up upstairs and then all hell broke loose. Our beautiful experience was about to turn into a hellish nightmare by the call of one person, my friend's dad. Apparently his dad chose this day of all days to hound his ass on the phone about him not coming home the night before and fully expecting him to be home in a couple of hours. Now we were in trouble - we had planned to stay the entire trip at his house and we had to leave. As if it weren't enough, our friends both bailed on us and so there we were, 2 acid heads outside watching our friends drive away and trying to figure out what to do with poolsticks in our hands.

After an eternity of panic (2 real minutes) I called my other friend and told him our situation. We convinced him to drive down and babysit us, so again we were good for about another hour until my friend's dad started calling again. No way could he have talked to him on the phone, we were so far gone from reality at this point that nothing, not even 4 word text messages made sense to us. So began our grand journey. We got our friend to drive us to the local park so we could walk around. We were so fucked up that our only goal was to kill time until we could come down to reality and face society again.

As soon as we were on the walking/bike path, we noticed our first heavy tracers when bikers would go by and their doubles would keep passing us for another 2 minutes. The jungle had never looked so alive. Everything was moving and breathing, and I think this is where sounds started to mesh with sight and taste. I remember 'tasting' the green of the leaves and hearing the trails of the bikers. Well that lasted about 5 minutes real time (3 hours ours) so we told our friend to drive us anywhere else, which ended up being another park. When we stopped in the parking lot we met another friend who freaked us the fuck out. He kept saying he had a friend who was a sheriff and he was gonna get us arrested and into a drug program.

So then all of us went to this pizza joint and ordered a large pepperoni. My friend's distorted image of the waitress was beyond ridiculous, he said 'When she put the pizza on the table her face went with it and landed in the middle of the cheese.' By now people's faces were melting and shape-shifting, it was nearly impossible to talk to people, or so we thought, apparently we sounded fine the whole time but we sure as hell didn’t feel like we did. There was pizza in front of us and we just couldn’t eat - just too fucked up, so its about hour 5 or 6 with no food. Next we, in our brilliancy, decided it would be smart to try to go to a movie just to pass the time. This was the dumbest thing we've ever done. On the way to the theater we happened to see a live car accident as it happened (confirmed by our sober friends), and as if that weren't enough all the times and titles on the theater listings were backwards in real life, which just made us feel more crazier.

By now we started to get worried that the trip wouldn’t end - that's where the panic started. When we walked into the theater, we thought we saw a crowded room with people in every seat, then our friend told us there was only one lady in the very back and suddenly we saw how empty it was. This made us just lose it. The sound meshing of the theater's bass mixed with our howling screams (at the previews) was too much to take. As my friend was busy watching the spindles of light manifest and rotate about the movie screen, I went into the deepest meditative state I've ever been in my life. My eyes were crosseyed and I literally saw what I'd call the spindles of consciousness. Two spinning fibrous greenish tornado beings is the best I can do to describe it. All the while my friend was too freaked out to sit still and started yelling at me in my ear. It sounded like he was a hundred miles away, I could barely hear him I was so far in my own mind. So our sober friend quickly ushered us out and back in the car, 20 dollars wasted on a movie where we didn’t even make it past the 3rd preview.

We went to another friend's house who had just gotten home from school and her parents were gone. We tried hookin up the xbox and playin some halo2, I think I got 26 suicides while seriously trying to play and my friend kept dropping the controller and staring at the ceiling. And then outa nowhere her mom walked in. I can't even tell you the panic. Somehow we talked to her for a few minutes and she left, and then we went outside to the tire swing. This was def. one of the best and scariest parts of the trip. We had our friends wind us up and spin us on the swing, and when we opened our eyes it was like total mind-meltdown, I couldn’t even tell you what planet I was on.

So even longer story short, night came and we were about 14 hours into the trip and still hardcore tripping, I mean tracers and hallucinations, no sign of a comedown. This is what freaked us out the most, everywhere we read had said 12 hours max and we were fucked beyond yesterday. We panicked cause we both were supposed to be home at certain times and we had to get our sober friends to write text messages to our parents telling them we were out for the night. Our best idea at the time was to tell our parents the next day we had been wasted cause anything would be better than them finding out we did acid.

9:45pm and only a small hint of a comedown. our friend said she'd drive us to a local pharmacy and get us some herbal shit. It was supposed to 'detox' us or somethin but we both knew it was bullshit and we couldn’t remember how to swallow pills anyway so we stuffed em in our pockets and pretended to take them. When we got back to her house we were way freaking out and decided it was up to us to learn how to 'reintegrate into society'. We tried immitating the other 'humans' aka non-acid-takers we saw in her house by eating muffins and playing cards. That lasted 20 seconds, we were too fucked to tell what our cards were or understand any purpose of the game.

11pm still trippin and we have our original friend from the morning pick us up and take us to his house to crash for the night. In the meantime we had talked to dogs, plotted a genius escape by making our caretakers think we had disappeared and killed each other, and watched the most beautiful sunset you could possibly imagine.

So back at the house we attempted to go to sleep. 2 in the morning and we knew we were coming down but we still weren't sure when the hell it was all gonna be over. We had told our friend to sleep in the room with us in case his mom would have come down or something but that lazy mullet-haired water-head down syndrom son of a bitch said he wanted to sleep upstairs and that he'd be back in the morning. So after he leaves, we freak out for the last time of the trip and take it upon ourselves to create a 'fake friend' for our comfort lol. We put covers over a bunch of pillows to make it look like someone was asleep on the sofa and for whatever reason it just worked, totally reassured us for the rest of the night.

About 4am and we were in and out of sleep, still really restless from almost 20 hours of non-stop tripping and NOTHING to eat all day. The tv was on but anytime we'd see human faces it would just freak us out and remind us how not normal we were, so we put it on the golf channel (and we HATE golf) all night just because there wasn't anything to horrific about watching a ball cross a green. After what seemed to be nine eternities (literally watching the seconds of the clock for hours) we somehow slept for a couple hours and awoke in the morning.

Visuals had returned to normal but the lingering psychosis was still there, we just didn't feel like ourselves. We felt in some way detatched and we didn't think we were ready to go back into society. But we went our separate ways and that was that, followed by the next two days of reintegration. Things and thoughts became normal but it was an agonizingly slow process. The first time I talked to my mom the day after the trip I almost puked I was so nervous, but I sounded fine on the outside.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 53475

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 20, 2007	Views: 34,970

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Guides / Sitters (39), Hangover / Days After (46), Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:45
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Alcohol
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

Let me start off by saying that before my first LSD trip, I had taken psylicobin mushrooms roughly ten times, so I am farmiliar with psychedelia.  I am a senior in high school and was on thanksgiving break, and had a strange hunch that I would be having a psychedelic experience that week. My friend and I made a last minute decision to go to a concert in the city, and we hung out in the front of the venue to finish drinking the last of the alcohol we brought with.  There were people asking if we wanted to buy hemp accesories since they didn't have enough money for tickets.  I told them I didn't want the hemp, but gave them five dollars as a friendly gesture so they could have a good night.  The guy thanked me, and decided to offer me some LSD for $5 a hit.  I took him up on the offer and bought two since it was such a low price.  The blotter had no lines on it, so he estimated the size of two hits by ripping off pieces (it could have actually been around 3-4 hits since he had no scissors).  I ate a small section of the paper and my friend and I walked into the show.

I was expecting the drug to hit me fast and hard, but I couldn't see or feel anything for at least 45 minutes.  About a month earlier I ingested mushrooms and felt no effects, so I figured it was either fake acid or I needed to eat more.  I pulled out the remaining section and ate it.  The concert was Phil Lesh and Friends at the Chicago Theater, and the first thing I noticed was that the fancy chandeleers had moss hanging from them.  I looked at the stage, and behind the band looked like a long vortex of small multi colored specks of light in front of a black background.  Since the venue was dark and the music was loud, I focused mainly on the vibrations around me and had a great time doing so.

My friend wasn't on any drug except alcohol, and he constantly made trips to the bar to get drinks. I kept looking at the band members faces and seeing jerry garcia appear, and also thought that the lead singer looked like jesus.  I felt that jesus was approving of the experience since everyone was dancing harmoniously, acting kind, and sharing their positive energy.  My friend was dancing very strangely, and I couldn't tell if it was the acid, if he was drunk, or if he was just a horrible dancer.

When the show ended, I felt that the experience was beautiful and I felt the spirit of the grateful dead as well as the 1960s LSD phenomenon.  The lights went on, and my friend and I walked out.  I started talking to him, and he was acting very strangely.  We walked down the stairs and suddenly he fell backwards and slid the whole way down.  I realized that he was very intoxicated and that even though I was on an acid trip, I had to take control and lead the way home.

I kept getting the feeling that he knew everyone there was having crazy experiences on drugs, and since he is scared to do them, he got extremely drunk to fit in with the crowd.  That really upset me since he promised he would watch out for me on my trip, but then blew me off and got too drunk.  We started walking, and I realized how much alcohol limits communication.  He kept telling me to get a cab, but a strange voice in my head told me to walk the whole way.

On the walk, the side walk had multi colored patterns that glimmered from the snow and water on the ground.  Christmas lights were everywhere, and I felt the spirit of the holidays in the city.  It was a beautiful experience, and I thought of myself as a spiritual leader, guiding my friend through life as I guided him to the train station.  He kept asking advice on what to do, and strangers kept asking me directions to different parts of the city.  I thought that leading people in different directions was a powerful and wonderful gift.

When we got onto the train, there were strong patterns everywhere, and all I wanted to do was stare at them.  My drunk friend was ruining the experience by slurring out things like 'What am I going to tell my parents?' and 'How are we getting home?'  He repeated the same thing over and over again and I became so frustrated that I yelled at him and told him not to talk to me. There were much older, almost homeless people sitting a few seats behind us that were also at the concert.  They were definitly on acid as well, and started making fun of my friend and his attitude.  They also started making fun of me because I had the 'I'm not friends w/ this kid' attitude, since I wasn't paying any attention to his drunken banter.  It made me uncomfortable, but I stayed focused on the patterns everywhere.  I realized that alcohol is such a primative substance, and felt that drunk people have limited communication skills.

 [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

We walked to my car parked outside the train station in my town, and there was frozen ice all over the wind shield.  I got out and wiped it all off with my sleeve, and started driving towards my friends house that was about three blocks away.  I started driving and couldn't focus my eyes past the ice on the wind sheild and couldnt focus on the road ahead.  I stopped the car and forced my friend to help me get every last ice speck off.  He was being difficult and half assed his job, which made me furious.  He wasn't taking the LSD seriously and figured I could get through it.  I dropped him off and zoned out all the hallucinations to get to my house.

I walked upstairs and told my mom I was home, but had a very hard time getting words out.  I ran into my room and realized that the trip was still going strong about five hours later.  I turned on some music and put the visualizer on the media player.  I tried to find something interesting to watch on tv, but everything seemed like complete garbage.  The only thing I could stand to have on were useless infomercials.  I sat down and began to look around.  The folds in my jeans turned into mouths and noses, which resembled the talking hat in the Harry Potter movies that has a face from the wrinkles in the hat.  Everything had colorful patterns and was constantly moving around.

The visualizer on the computer was beautiful, and I felt the amazing vibrations of music.  When gazing into the swirls of colors on the screen, I came to a great spiritual conclusion.  I realized that our higher power is all of the energy in the universe, and this god-like energy created humans so that we could feel good sensations. Good sensations are paired with means of survival; for example, we feel amazing when we are sexually aroused, which leads to creation of more humans.  We can taste delicious things to absorb energy in our bodies to keep ourselves alive.  I saw visions in my head of how humans got to where we are today, by creating societies and religions to make us as comfortable as possible in our lives.  This is the god-like energy's way of feeling happy itself, since we all are a part of this universal energy.

I thought of how evolution is simply a way for this energy to feel more and more good sensations, and that the creation of drugs by humans was a magical way to feel even more bliss.  I thought of Albert Hoffman creating LSD, and how that was a monumental moment for humans to use our brains to mix all of the senses into a beautiful euphoric explosion.  I thought of how humans evolve, and that if we give our brain acid, it will be expanded, and therefore lead humans into a further evolution since our brain is experiencing such amazing sensations.  I saw that the ultimate goal of the god-like energy was to evolve humans so far that our brains could create an amazing blend of color, sound, and sensation that made us feel the most alive we could.  I pictured beings on other planets that had brains that could control sensation and make their lives a dazzling mix of amazing sensations.

I realized that music is nothing but vibrations, and catching and enjoying these vibrations is what makes humans more evolved than animals.  I realized that once we evolve further, we will be able to feel even more beautiful vibrations and life will be even more amazing. I pictured the end of human evolution as the energy zipping around and not having amazing sensations being limited to the human body.  I saw how LSD was not found in nature, such as mushrooms, and humans created it through technology to feel like god.  I pictured how more evolved aliens feel no suffering as we do on earth and have perfected the control of amazing sensation through technology, evolution, and different drugs or substances.

I stared at the visualizer to eliminate any uncomfortable hallucinations I saw on the floor or walls, such as the worms that formed on the carpet or the people I saw in the corner of my eye.  I saw how technology such as this visualizer is making the LSD experience more controlled and more beautiful, and hoped that in today's age, more people will be able to experience the drug and not condem it to a '1960's hippy thing.' I listened to music from 1 a.m. until the sun came up, and my hallucinations were still happening.

The only uncomfortable thing was when my family woke up and I had to turn the music off an lie in bed.  I looked out my window and the trees turned into scissors and started snipping very hard and fast.  I looked at a poster of a supermodel on my wall, and her face turned into a horse. I would pace around my room, and when I lookd in the mirror my face looked like a zombie with strange old people freckles all over it.  It didnt frighten me, but it made me realize how long the trip would last.  I finally fell asleep for about an hour, and woke up feeling very out of it.  I still saw small light patterns on the floor, but could function in every day activities.

The experience was beautiful, and the only regret I have is taking it so late at night and getting no sleep.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 48269

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 29, 2007	Views: 49,880

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LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), First Times (2), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 700 ug

		 LSD

		 oral
		 Yerba Mate

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   139 lb

A bit of background.  I have always been fascinated with psychedelic drugs.  I have had extraordinary, unexplainable, beautiful, and terrifying experiences.  My first experiments with LSD gave a glimpse of the depth of insight which could be obtained, as I observed that there's more to be experienced than what I had always hung onto as my own reality.  When I was 19, I had my first bad trip.  This would be the only one I can define as 'bad', since it included lots of yelling, fear, terror, and me being completely out of control of my own body.  It was a fast trip straight to hell - a gory horror flick, and I wasn't ready.  Unfortunately, I was too young to understand it, and was frightened of psychedelics for quite a few years.  Still, something kept calling me to them, telling me that there was loads to be learned if I could just make friends with that awful place in my mind, and learn to move past it.  It waited for me to get my head straight, to find some sort of affirmative foundation in myself, before I found myself ready again.

Eventually, I got there, and have had some really great experiences.  On a more therapeutic level over the past 2 years, I've arranged a number of solo-trips - alone in my room on large doses of LSD, meditating, and going as deep as I possibly could.  This was extremely beneficial, and I really began to understand just how deep things can go.  It has allowed me to search my entire being inside and out.  It has been a tool.  These intensive inner-spelunking sessions have shown me a great deal.  However, after last night, I don't know if I can learn anything more.

 [Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Last night, with something around 700 micrograms of LSD, I came face to face with more than I could have ever asked for.  As it came on, I grounded myself, lit candles and burned incense, and sat down cross legged.  Ready.  Same intrusive thoughts whirring around, annoyance.  Need quiet.  Hush.  Focus.  Dig.  Find that inner light.  Find it find it find it!  I found it.  It finally began to grow.

'I've been here before.  Let's see what turns up.'

The light began to shine - a singular point, brilliantly colored, floating in deep space, translucent, reflective and covered in multicolored gemstones.  My thoughts were still racing, still observing, but there was no doubt that my boundaries were dissolving fast.  It expanded, like a sphere from the deepest part of me, growing around me, getting larger and larger.  I came to a new realization of what true love is, and how it finds two people.  Two people don't merely fall in love with each other.  The love is always there.  It's some kind of static film of light, always existing.  Every now and then, a veil is peeled back between two people, and the light shines through it, directly through their eyes, meeting itself like a laser.  When two people are in love, they are not seeing eachother.  They are seeing the very source from which they came.  They are allowing it to flow freely between them.  Love is transhuman.

As I sat, I observed that everything around me, the noisy city, had become utterly quiet.  There was either nobody around, or it was just incredibly peaceful.  I listened - no police sirens, no talking, no cars.  This was abnormal for a Saturday night.  I had felt this before on other trips, and was convinced that the inner peace which I seemed to be emitting was somehow affecting other people in my area.  Somehow, I felt that my housemates, and even my neighbors, could vibe off this energy - through the walls, through the buildings.

After all, I've seen my cats react specifically to my state of mind without me moving a muscle, so it could very well be possible.  In past experiments, I would actually feel the emotions and thoughts of whoever seemed to be in my radius.  I realize now how important it is to realize that the road goes both ways.  I can give, but I will also receive.  There have been many occasions in normal waking life when I have felt psychic transference of thought without observable physical signals.  The probability of this happening is marginal and not something to discuss with too much seriousness, but I often feel that at a small enough scale, there is a physical reaction associated to every thought.

From a visual perspective, the body may not appear to broadcast any message, but it does not diffuse the existence of a receivable signal altogether.  Sure, it's a marginal probability, but frankly that's how I like to roll.  One thing's for sure - psychedelics are wonderfully good at diffusing skepticism.

Observing the possibility that others could somehow experience the vibrations I sent out, I began to feel a great sense of responsibility.  I had to maintain it, to sit there in utter peace as long as I possibly could - to silence intrusive energy, and broadcast nothing but pure love, pure harmonious vibrations.  Eventually, and quite suddenly, it got so incredibly large that I felt utterly stuck.  I was completely enraptured in trance, with no escape.  It was beautiful and glorious at first, and I felt highly successful at maintaining this positive state of mind - but it certainly didn't stay that way.  I realized that if I were to maintain this state, I would have to encounter extremely nasty things, and still maintain the state.  I realized that by breaking the state, I would break the vibe, break the mood.

'That's okay.  Let's do it a little longer.'

It got bigger.  I eventually felt responsible for the peacefulness of the entire city!  I was being bombarded with emotions and feelings from the entire population of Philadelphia.  I could feel when others were having sex, when they were smoking cigarettes, when they were laughing, crying, dancing, sweating.  It all seemed to happen in waves, as if large numbers of people were doing it at the same time.

It got bigger.  And bigger.  Eventually, I had become the entire Earth!  My body had somehow become an exact replica of the entire planet.  If something was happening anywhere on this rock, I felt it in my body.  I began to feel that perhaps, just perhaps, there was a possibility of an extreme synchronization of heartbeats.  'Yes, what if everyone's heart beat at the exact same time?  Just once?'  I focused on that.  Perhaps, God willing, I could broadcast a message that could enable just one singular heartbeat of everyone on the planet to happen at the exact same time.  Just one beat.  There was an enormous cheer, an uprising of some primal glorious energy from deep within the Earth, and BAM!  It happened.

'What a magnificent event!  That sort of thing doesn't happen all the time, does it?  Does it?'

It got bigger.  Eventually, I had become everything that is, ever was, and ever shall be.

'My God!  I can't believe it!  Cosmic Consciousness?  Am I really here?  Well if not, I'm certainly pretty close!  Oh my, I'm so proud of myself.  Wait no, there is no I.  There is no me.  There is only everything.  Everything of which I am a part of, but not apart, because I am everything and everything is me.  There is no universe, for to define it as such requires something else to define it.  There is only everything that is.  And everything that is not.  And, Oh whatever.  This feels awesome.  It's like an eternal neverending orgasm.'

I reveled in that for an eternity that could've possibly only happened in a matter of nanoseconds - there's no telling.  Either way, it wasn't long enough, and I'd like more, please.  For a bit after that, my cognitive abilities began to deteriorate, as I became overwhelmed with theories and thoughts about magical happenings.  Lots of questioning and inferring things that I can't currently make sense of.  For instance, at one point, I began to feel an awful pain in my right hip.  It struck me violently, and I couldn't understand what it was.  Something seemed to be entering me from my hipbone.  It was some kind of machine.  A snake-like mechanized robotic arm, penetrating my skin.

'It's the robots', I thought.  'They've finally come to take us over, and they're doing it from the inside out.'

'Roll with it,' I thought.  I relaxed a bit, and, quite simply, became a machine!  I had become a hulking steel mechanoid creature, and I had come to change the fate of humankind forever!

'Wow, that's a good one.  I'll have to remember that.  Unfortunately, it makes no sense, and kinda hurts.'

'Okay, back to the whole part about being the Earth,' I requested.

This was all nice, but I began to be confronted with some rather nasty aspects of human nature.  I thought of war and politics, and the whole disgusting game played out in my head, clear as day.  I witnessed this battle made flesh, as armies of men marched in perfect sync, rallying together, clashing with other armies of synchronized men.  I saw that the only reason for this is to externalize the same battle of being and non-being that plays on continuously in one singular person's mind.  I found it fascinating that this sort of dichotomy could play out in such a huge fashion, based on one singular problem.  That millions of people could somehow lock onto the same frequency and march in perfect sequence against what they believe to be their demise.

Furthermore, I became frighteningly tempted by this.  It became appealing - even juicy to me.  By golly, I could control millions of people if I wanted to.  I could actually make them do what I want!

Holy shit, is this who I am?  Why am I doing this?  This tripping-by-myself thing, is it just some sort of method for me to flex my muscles and feel some sort of power over everything and everyone?

I sink.

Deeper.

I thought about pop culture, and celebrities and people in the public eye seemed to be nothing but puppets controlled by some mass global mind.  They seemed to have no control over themselves, and they acted only as everyone else wanted them to.  Even more interesting, I thought, perhaps, there's a group of people that sit together and control all of this.  If nobody really thinks for themselves, and if we're all connected, and if war and pop-culture are simply a macrocosm of mind, then there most certainly is a singular mind behind it all.  Or perhaps more than one.

'I'd like to play that game,' I thought.  'That sounds sorta fun!'

I knew this was utter evil - some dark force attempting to penetrate my being, perhaps even take me over.  I've seen this force before many times.  It's the most hellacious looking thing I've ever witnessed, full of fire and blood and terrible things.  Dark, red, firey.  Everything upside down, everything pulling me down.  I know this thing, I recognize it, and it doesn't frighten me anymore.  I simply let it wash through me, sitting still as a rock.  There's no sense in running from it - it only wants to be seen, to be recognized, and to be given a name.  It's my bloodlust, my need for power, but I do not satisfy it, I don't give in, and I don't let it take control of me.  I conquered this one long ago.

Still, I sink.

Deeper.

'If we're all connected, then we're all responsible for everything that happens.  That means I'm responsible for someone who dies on the other side of the planet.  I'm responsible for everyone.  And everyone is responsible for me.  Where's the source?  The global mind?  Well, if I have somehow tapped into it, and I am the global mind, then it's all up to me.

'Holy shit.  That's saying alot.  That's alot of responsibility I really don't want right now.  I have got to get out of this.  If I'm responsible for the whole planet, then I'm also responsible for whether I live or die.  I'm responsible for my own heart beating.'

I became aware of my heartbeat.  Really aware.  I think I made it stop.  My heart stopped beating.  Or maybe I sank into some kind of timeless eternal zone in between heartbeats.  Whatever happened, I somehow popped back into my body and opened my eyes, but it seemed to take just a little too long.  I thought maybe the test of how healthy you are is determined by how quickly you can snap back from a near-death experience.

'I need to exercise more,' I thought.

This was pretty frightening.  I found it terribly difficult to stop slipping back into that frame of mind.  I thought 'Fuck, how often to I have to affirm my own will to live - my will to exist?'  Every passing moment, I realized.  Every moment I make a choice to live.  Every second, something somewhere deep within me makes that choice - and I just touched that.  I came face to face with it.

As if I hadn't seen enough, I thought 'Well, since I'm here, I might as well go ahead and confront my own death.  Yes, let's do that.  I've been wanting this sort of life-review trip for a long time.  The one where I come to the very edge and look death in the face, and make the choice to live.  Let's do it.'

I don't know if I actually did it.  I got frighteningly close.  It was darkness, complete darkness.  It was as if the veil of everything I know had been completely swept away, and I was staring into a black void.  I simply couldn't do it.  I was still afraid.  I did not want to die, and I believed that if I stayed too long, I would.  I don't know if this was close enough, or if I even accomplished the 'mission' - but I do know that I wasn't ready.

'This is far enough,' I thought.  'I've toyed with being and nonbeing long enough.  I know who I am, I know I possess the will to live, and now I feel downright silly for questioning it.'

I rise.  Finally.

'A light.  There's a light down here.  Way down here!  There's a way back!  Oh thank God!'

It wasn't a long trip back to the world of the living, but boy oh boy was I glad to be back.  I remembered S, called her and told her all about it as well I could with my still-reeling mind and broken English.  Her voice sent shimmering bolts of lightning through my body.  I realized that not far from my will to live was S.  It brought a bit of understanding about what it means to place faith and trust in someone when all hope may be lost.  I made some Yerba Mate.  It sent chills up my spine, and I felt alive with every sip.  Mate presented itself briefly as a warm loving motherlike being that comforted me greatly and had been doing so for thousands of years.  I ruminated on the idea of plants-as-entities for awhile as I smoked a cigarette, singing praises to poor old insecure never-loved-enough Miss Tobacco.  I went outside and breathed the winter air, looked up at the night sky.

'Yes, life is good.'

I have to mention that through all of this, I was still as a rock.  The difficult parts sound awful, but I, personally, was not reacting - in a physical sense, at least.

Finally, as things began to wear off, I realized that there I no longer have to confront my own will to live that way.  I had just been to the edge of my entire being.  I looked over the edge.  I saw nothing.  I affirmed my own will to live more directly than I could have ever thought.

After reading immensely about Ayahuasca and the nature of its life-affirming trips, I wonder.  Was that it?  Did I actually go there?  I've wanted this trip.  I've felt that I needed this trip.  For myself.  To understand myself.  Is this it?  I hesitate to say there's more, but I really don't feel the need to go that far again anytime soon.  In short - I made it back alive.

All in all, the whole thing was awesome.  I wish I could've recorded it.  Oh, the beauty, the drama, the suspense!

Now, I'd like another serving of that Cosmic Consciousness please!

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 58205

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 29, 2007	Views: 19,007

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   180 lb

Background

I'd had a few low-dose experiences with both psilocybin and LSD, maybe 5 trips altogether. I found each generally enjoyable and fascinating, except that LSD’s 12-hour duration was a little taxing. Anyway, this time, over an extra-long weekend, I sought something more intense than usual.

Setting

I was with two well-known friends who weren’t tripping, but whom I had tripped with in the past with lighter doses. We were all staying overnight at the house of an acquaintance. There was no agenda, this was a casual place where, at any given time, there could be a half dozen or more people around, mostly college kids, all friends with each other, hanging out and smoking pot or whatever. Generally a comfortable and secure, although unfamiliar, environment.

Onset

Shortly after taking the dose that evening, I joined a few others who were watching this crappy-but-funny Japanese sci-fi from the late '70s, 'Message from Space', which would have been entirely appropriate for a night of bowl-smoking. I started out in this mindset, intending to enjoy the film -- laughing at the ridiculous plot, special effects, etc. I felt something coming on, similar to previous trips -- some giddiness and lightness in the limbs.

Maybe an hour or so into it, things began to change. Whatever plot I was following began making less sense as I became absorbed in contemplation of some minor details, spacesuits, for example.  I felt a little scatterbrained, but at this point still knew I was 'on drugs'.

Uh oh

The tone of everything in my head became increasingly serious, as did the film. At some point it dawned on me – this wasn’t a movie called “Message from Space”. This WAS a real message from space. It was something that beings “out there” have been trying to tell us humans all along, and I was only now getting it. It was a profound essay on creation, birth, and death that I could barely grasp.

The sad news, along with their statement, was that it was time for all of us earthlings to die. This came as a shock as I had expected to live a while, maybe into old age. I felt sad for myself, those I knew, and the whole world.

Time to die

In reality, the movie was ending and some of my stoned companions were trying to figure out what to do next. But in my head I wasn’t too aware of their conversation. I did catch one detail though -- some of them were going to go vist a graveyard. This made my heart sink a little further as it confirmed my belief that we all had to go off and die in our own way. At this point, I’d clearly forgotten that I’d taken any drug.

I didn’t say anything though, absorbed in my profound realizations. Besides, I figured they had their own deaths to sort out. This was important business to attend to, and it required my full attention. Of course, I was resistant to the whole idea of dying, my survival instinct was still there and wanted me to hang on. I was sure I had to find some way to transcend it. I remember getting up and starting to wander about the house. By this time, I think most of the others in the house had gone off to the graveyard.

I wasn’t quite sure whether I could just sit down and die, or had to take a more active role. I thought that maybe I had to physically break myself in order to let go. So I ventured alone into the backyard. After some hesitation, I halfheartedly ran into a fence as a sort of preparation for the upcoming “breakthrough” and whatever pain might be involved.

Eventually, though, I figured out that I just needed to make complete mental preparation. So I came back inside the house. Something kept imploring me that NOW was my time, so I laid down on the floor. I knew I had to relax completely, more than ever before. My bladder was kind of full and I had to urinate. Didn’t matter though. I was going to die anyway. The final waves of relaxation eventually overcame me. As I peed in my pants, I knew death had come.

Dissolution

Sometime after this was when 'I' dissolved completely. There wasn't really any more time. This was the beginning of what I would call pure representation, or experience.

In reality, as my friends were to relate to me the next day, I was walking around, talking gibberish, and in my eyes there was 'no one home'. I wouldn’t respond to their attempts at conversation. To them, I somewhat resembled a sleepwalker.

I guess the best way to describe the state would be that of a “wandering spirit”. After the finality of death, was prepared for everything to go black and end. But it didn’t. Since I really was still alive and receiving input, things kept happening. Wherever “I” was, it was floating around the house. The people there all became spirits as well. Not religious, I nonetheless began to register some kind of quasi-Christian mythology. Who were these other beings? Dead saints or prophets? Whatever they were saying, I didn’t understand, although they seemed kindly. I was trying to communicate with them.

In reality, according to my friends, I began making something of a ruckus with all my talking, and they escorted me to a bedroom to chill. I do remember that bedroom. It had become a large model/representation/control panel of what was once my own brain. The books on the bookshelf represented all the written information I had ever taken in. The Cds stored all the sounds I had ever heard. Posters on the wall represented thoughts frozen in time, the room was limitless. I could spend forever here. I was the mind of God and could see anything and knew the true meaning of eternity for the first time. It was spectacular.

Vortex Hell

Things were fairly peaceful in this Eternity at first, but this Mind of God proved to be too much. I realized it was also an incredible burden, and I had to move on because I was unfit to handle it. I began to realize something else: that I had to be reborn and couldn’t stay here. This awareness rose to an indescribable terror as I realized I would be reborn an infinite number of times. It also apparently explained exactly why we have no memory of being infants – we must not remember “what happened before” or we would collapse under the realization that we have lived millions of times before and would keep going forever. Infant amnesia was a carefully and deliberately crafted illusion.

I was about to be catapulted into a new life. I really didn’t want this, and became horrified at the prospect of a life of suffering. The particularly scary thing for me was that I could be reborn as anyone, and I didn’t want to experience that. My life had been pretty good, why do we need to keep doing this?

I had no power to stop it. I felt like I was slowly being lifted up through this thing -- a tube – in a very similar way to a rollercoaster car creeping up to its first peak, except this was much steeper and longer. The Chute seemed like something out of the movie “Tron”. It was a neon-blue, wireframe tube. As I was carried up The Chute, a disembodied voice resembling David Letterman began narrating my plight somewhat sadistically in a “Top 10” voice. Apparently each “rebirth” was some kind of spectator event, and other spirits were watching and/or cheering or commenting on “me” as I rose to the platform where myself and countless others were released. I reached the top of the Chute.

At “Dave’s” final countdown I launched at incredible speed down another tube and toward a new life. The thing was, I never really landed. I was hurled outward into some kind of pinkish/violet neon vortex that would bounce me around wherever the hell it wanted to. Endlessly and forever. I saw brief glimpses of where I might land: a torture victim in the Amazon jungle, a World War I soldier, schizophrenic, homeless person… it was horrifying -- I saw their whole lives unfold and felt all their pain and didn’t want to be a part of any of it. I was destined to remain this way forever at the whim of the vortex.

Comedown

Eventually the panic and storm subsided, and I had made some kind of resolution in my head about trying to relax as much as possible and think gentle thoughts and just “go with it”.

Then I came to. I was sitting on the floor of the bedroom, talking to my friend. It was exactly like waking up from a dream. Holy crap! How much of that stuff really happened? Jesus, did I really pee in my pants (answer: yes). The rest of the night was spent trying to wash out my jeans in the shower which proved extremely difficult, getting the water faucet to operate (Oh my God -- all these knobs!) Thankfully my friend had an extra pair of shorts. I was concerned about how much I might have embarrassed myself in front of everyone. I was still in a daze over my experience and couldn’t do much for myself.

Conclusion

I most likely will never do acid again, as this experience felt harrowing enough. This time was distinctly different than any previous trips, and much more frightening, because of my total loss of control. I no longer knew who I was or where. I didn’t really expect this to happen on 3 hits.

In retrospect, I think I might have benefited from a guide of sorts. I’m certainly glad my friends were there, and that they didn’t call an ambulance (at one point they were actually considering this when I was acting up). However while I was left alone in that room, and all the horror was going on in my head, others in the house were listening to some pretty sinister-sounding music, or maybe it was a scary movie -- and their miscellaneous voices and noises may have had some negative impact on my journey. Maybe I’m a little less afraid of death now, though.

Exp Year: 1997	ExpID: 58929

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 30, 2007	Views: 22,062

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:05
		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 0:30
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   69 kg

I have always been interested in drugs, their effects and why people use them. Whilst throughout my life I have been fairly disciplined about my decisions and actions, I had come to realize after much research and through my own thought that I was brought up to believe that the word ‘drugs’ was only associated with negative connotations.

About 6 months ago, I had made the decision to try weed. It seemed to have a large effect on all my friends that had tried it, but it virtually had no effect on me.  It may have slightly lifted my mood, but stoned was not a category that I would have considered myself as. I felt that my attempt on experimentation failed, as I did not physically feel the hype that surrounded the drug by my friends, and the sources that I have used as research. The only other drug that I was mildly interested in at the time was LSD. I considered my mind a very stable place, and I had a very firm stance on my religious beliefs of atheism at the time. After learning that not only does it have hallucinogenic effects, but also powerful effects on the mind that could lead to profound spiritual and religious experiences, I made an important yet well thought out decision that this would be something that I would like to try some day.

As university started up again and just about full time work hours kicked in, over the next few months I had very limited social contact with friends, other than the occasional game of poker. With the knowledge that the Easter break was rapidly approaching, it was a great time to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a very long time. We decided about 2 weeks in advance that we 4 of us, myself, a long-time friend who I’ll call L, and 2 other good friends who I’ll call S and B would all be able to meet a B’s house since his parents had just left and would not be back for a very long time. This was, like always, going to be a ‘chill’ get together where it was planned that we all would just relax, have a chat, smoke some weed and just enjoy the day.

I have known L for a very long time and over the years we have built a powerful friendship. He is the one in contact with the dealer and had announced in recent conversation that he was able to get any drug off him that he wanted. During this conversation, I jokingly asked ‘Even Acid?’, as I had previously told him that I had sometime wanted to try it. I don’t know why, but the answer of ‘yes’ came as a shock to me. I felt like that this could be the time when this will actually happen. I told L of my intentions then and there of the possibility of possibly getting some and trying it there.

He seemed very excited about the prospect. I showed a YouTube video that I had discovered earlier of an interpretation of a user’s first LSD experience using paint. We both found this very entertaining and intriguing, and L decided that he would too experiment with the drug on the night, although his knowledge of it was substantially less than mine. I managed to convey to him the most important things about it, including what he’ll feel and tips to get out of a bad trip. The day before the big day, he purchased our LSD and everyone’s weed for the night. I went to sleep that night in high anticipation of the day after.

The day came, and we all arrived at B’s house at about 8pm. I was a bit nervous about the excessive amount of mirrors/reflective surfaces in his house because of bad experiences that I had previously read of, but I decided and hoped that my mind would end up being stable enough to not be greatly affected by these during my upcoming trip. Another friend who I’ll refer to as G also made it to B’s house and was cool after learning about what will be happening. S and B cut up the weed, L rolled (yes I’m useless), and we had several joints comprising of 3.5g of weed ready.

L’s dealer told him that for first time LSD users, the hit should be separated into quarters and each quarter taken between intervals of time. How much time however, we were not told. Before we all decided to smoke our joints, L and I took our first quarter hit. We went outside and everyone smoked their joint and got high, except for me because like before it strangely doesn’t seem to affect me much. I still decided that I should have it because I read that having cannabis during LSD will heighten the experience during the peak. At this point I was extremely high in anticipation because the moment finally came and there was no turning back.

L and I felt absolutely no effects of the LSD at this point, so we took another quarter 30 minutes after the first. An hour had passed. S had played his guitar and sang some songs and we all talked a bit. My anticipation was really high and the fact that I had to this point felt no effects, really started to irritate me, although I knew that it was possible that I would not feel effects up to 2 hours in. Although out of impatience, I tried my best to cut the remaining tab of LSD evenly, and L and I finished it up.

1 hour and a half in, we all went outside for a ciggie break. At this point I felt extremely light, colours seemed a bit brighter and I felt an extremely mild tingle in my body. At times I noticed a small rainbow of light come out of G’s ears, but now I’m not even sure if it happened. It could have been my imagination playing tricks on me because my anticipation was overwhelming at this point. I spent a few minutes observing the smoke coming out of my ciggie, and then about 10 watching the moon. Everyone looked at me strangely, but I assured them that I was not yet tripping and gave them two thumbs up, which I do quite a lot. I asked L and he was not feeling anything other than the weed.

It was 2 hours after I took my first hit, and we all made our way upstairs to watch a movie. At this point I was feeling extremely light and feeling that I could begin tripping any second. A few minutes into the movie, there was a close-up of a man’s face. I stared at it, and it started turning into a tiger. I asked my friends if that was really what was happening. They told me it wasn’t and I suddenly realised that the moment that I was finally waiting for was about to happen. I had noticed before that the carpet downstairs had very interesting and trippy patterns, so I thought to confirm this I would go downstairs and attempt to observe. I told the guys that I’ll be back soon.

I made my way downstairs but at this point it didn’t feel like I was tripping. The patterns on the floor didn’t move and the walls didn’t breathe as I had to often read about. After 5 minutes of attempting to observe, I took a huge step and moved into the bathroom, where there was a head-high mirror. I a movie in my head at this time because I had read that this was exactly what it looked like to look into a mirror on the influence of acid. With extremely high anticipation, whilst reasonably low expectations due to the recent failure with the walls and floor, I looked into the mirror. I stared straight into my eyes. My pupils were fairly large, and my face began to transform. Suddenly realising that this is finally it, I looked away from the mirror in fear that I might turn into something reasonably scary.

I took out my iPod, and put on one of my favourite albums called ‘Sad Wings of Destiny’ by Judas Priest knowing that I wanted it to be a part of my history, a part of my first acid trip. I slipped my iPod into my pocket and started walking around the downstairs room. At this moment I was alone. I made observations about the walls. Whilst they were certainly not breathing, the mortar between the bricks began to melt and started flowing. Only thing I could think to myself was ‘wow’, its happening, its happening. At this time no other major effects that I had read about were in effect.

I continued walking around the room observing the minor visual changes it took for about 15 minutes, and that was when I began to lose a perception of time, although it was very minor at this stage. The hallucinations got a bit stronger, and I noticed I could abort them by quickly moving my head and losing focus of what I was looking at. I thought it was time to make my return to the bathroom and take another look at the mirror. My pupils were absolutely enormous now and I couldn’t help but stare at them. My face looked very much seedier than it did before. It looked like I had a very much increased number of pimples. Suddenly, my facial hair started to eat my face, and whiskers began growing out of my pimples. I had taken the visual look of a cat.

At this point exactly, S came down the stairs for a toilet break. I stood in front of him and pointed at myself and tried to explain what was happening. All I could manage was to point at myself and say “Cat”. S had a smile on his face, pointed to himself and said “Dog”. I found this rather humorous and gave a smile, although the fact that I wasn’t able to say exactly what I was thinking annoyed me. On his way out of the toilet, he told me to come back up the stairs. I was thinking to myself that I didn’t want to, and as he was climbing up the stairs I got into my first negative mindset of the night, where I wanted to come upstairs because a friend asked me to, but in the back of my mind still wanted to stay downstairs continue observing.

Suddenly, everything in my vision turned into a very pale purple colour. The floor started breathing, the walls started breathing, and everything around me began to melt. I felt excruciating pain in my stomach and back, skulls started appearing around me and it was then I realised that it was a bad trip and this is what it felt like. It was one of the worst sensations that I could have imagined, I do not wish it upon anyone. It lasted about 10 seconds until I remembered that a method of avoiding bad trips was to change scenery. I made my way upstairs where everyone was congregated by the kitchen.

Suddenly the faded purple colour went away and I was left with a strange sensation that I was floating, whilst still terrified from the short experience I had downstairs. It was also then I noticed 2 green apples on the kitchen bench, which resembled the one from the LSD painting we watched being created. B set them out, one for me, one for L. I told everyone to look at my pupils and they did react with great surprise at how huge they were. I looked into L’s eyes, but his pupils looked perfectly normal. I could not believe he was not experiencing what I was. While everyone talked in the kitchen and made themselves a snack, I was standing in the corner. At this moment, the trip began.

The trip is the hardest thing in the world to explain. From this point on, I lost all sense of time, and the emotions I felt are completely beyond words and unexplainable. Everyone left the kitchen and I was left alone. At this point something felt very different though. I felt like I was in another reality. A new world that was created by my mind, the boundary of this new reality were the lights in the kitchen. I felt that if I left them, the drug would begin taking over my body and I would start to bad trip again.

In a minor moment of panic, I went to my bag (which was luckily in the kitchen) and took out a pen. I then ripped off a piece of paper off a nearby envelope and wrote ‘It's ok man, you’re tripping’ on it, as an attempt to have a means to keep a sense of reality. I held it in my right hand, and in my left hand was my iPod, whose music I treasure as one of the dearest things to me in the world. I had noticed that at this time was I was not experiencing major hallucinations, just an altered reality. I began to realise that I in fact knew nothing about the drug and that it will completely dominate me. I felt like I would spend the next 12 hours or so in fear that I would start bad tripping again.

Right about now was one of the most important parts of my trip, as I felt my body separate. It separated into 3 different entities: body, mind, and drug. I had very little control of my body at this time and at times saw myself in 3rd person. I realised I was having an out of body experience. This came as a complete shock to me as I did not know exactly the dose I had taken, and feared that it was way too large for my first time. I caught attention of the apple on the bench and suddenly the world around me turned the pale purple colour again and began to melt before my eyes. The drug began to take over my mind again, and it started doing everything that I didn’t want it to. If I was pleading with the drug not to make all my greatest fears visual, then it would. After about 30 seconds of this, my mind started to make statements that LSD is what I wanted to do, it was my decision, I’ve got a strong mind and that it is more powerful than the drug. The world turned back to its normal colours.

My mind started spewing out thoughts at about 6 times the normal rate. The best way I can explain the loss of perception of time is that time was slowed down by 6 times to make way for all the thoughts to be heard and analysed. All my senses merged into one and got absorbed by my mind. At this point I was completely out of my body, but it was walking around the kitchen back and forth for what seemed to be eternity. My mind kept on telling itself that OK, you’re tripping (and so did the piece of paper in my right hand), this is what you wanted, make the most of it you asswipe. I began to reflect on my life, my family and friends, my academic life and just basic thoughts about the world. Although at the back of my mind I was still slightly scared of the drug and the fear of another bad trip, but my mind seemed to be stable enough to actually not bad trip off this, although it got close a few times.

I found it absolutely amazing how fast emotions and my mood could change. One second I was thinking about how great my friends and family are to me and that I love them all, and the next millisecond it was thoughts of fear that I may bad trip again. I must have walked around the kitchen for a bit more than an hour. I attempted to SMS a friend whom I promise to invite, but the phone slipped out of my hands and the battery flung out. Knowing I wasn’t in a state to get technical and put it back in, the phone was placed back in my pocket. Every once in a while I looked down at my iPod and noted that when the slider of a song moved from 0:10 to about 1:00, it felt like at least 6 times more time had passed than this, and once again it sent thoughts of the drug being very powerful. I had covered a lot of thought during this time, but the current experience was/felt nothing like I wanted it to be. Then I started to get worried that I would not be able to handle the whole 12 hours. Just before my world began to melt again, S and L came into the kitchen declaring another ciggie break.

This was great news for me, as I wanted ever so hard to get out of the kitchen, but the drug wasn’t letting me. Friendship overpowered the drug at that instance, and I was able to move downstairs and outside to light up a cigarette without trouble. The emotions I felt are completely unexplainable. I was trying to explain to S and L that my trip is one big fear of bad tripping, but since my thoughts were racing 6 times normal speed, I only managed to output 1 word out of every 6 in the sentence. This made me frustrated, so I stopped.

I still found it extremely strange that L still had no visual effects that he was tripping, and at this time I found it hard to accept. L and S were talking about the movie they just saw, and at this moment I felt ‘Why are you talking about a movie. It is so insignificant’. Everything they used to describe the movie and their whole conversation that didn’t refer to me at that point felt completely pointless and I began to wonder why those kinds of thoughts would even be in their heads. Our ciggie break finished, and L made his way to the toilet. Still hopeful that he would experience what I was, I tried to tell to him before he went that to look in the mirror and to get ready of an experience of a lifetime. I wasn’t able to make any sense into my speech and this frustrated me. I then tried to tell S that the things I’m currently experiencing are incredible, and that I can see how someone with a weak mind would be completely dominated by the drug, not even realising that I was at this time in fact being dominated. S smiled and just kept on saying ‘Please don’t hurt me’, as I was thinking to myself, now why would I do that.

We made our way back upstairs and I was faced with a choice, to go back to the kitchen, or join S and L for another movie that they wanted to watch. I decided that I had to experiment more during my trip and that I was already in the kitchen before, so it was time to make way into the living room. It was much warmer there than the kitchen, and my neck and back were still absolutely stiff from the nonstop walking that my body had done in the kitchen just before. They decided to watch ‘The People vs Larry Flint’ or whatever it was called. Remembering that I too had once watched this movie, I tried to tell them that it was a good choice of movie, but all I managed to get out was ‘Movie’. The movie started and I sat back into my chair.

The album that I was listening to finished and it was then I perhaps made the most important decision of my entire trip. I put on Devin Townsend’s album ‘Terria’, which is a trip and a half without drugs. It is a concept album which reflects the creation of the world. I placed the note and iPod on the table, and heard the first noises from Terria coming out. I was very happy I made this decision at this point because it is one of my most loved and respected albums of all time. I picked up my iPod, and suddenly it began to melt. The iPod melted into my palm, and I felt that I was at one with the music, and that it was now infused into me. My overall mood changed that second, I felt like this was perhaps a new chapter in my trip. However I still felt like my mind and the drug were two separate entities floating above my body.

Suddenly, the drug told my mind to go back to the kitchen, bring back a Coke Zero, and sit back down. I felt like this was a very peculiar thing to ask of me, as I was not even thirsty at the time. The walk which lasted a couple of steps to the kitchen seemed much longer than they were, but my body which was only to be considered a pawn at this time managed to fill out the drug’s request. My mind began racing again. Thoughts of whether the drug was conquered started zooming through. Suddenly, my favourite solo of all time from the track ‘Deep Peace’ came on and that is exactly what I felt like. I felt the mind cloud absorbing the drug cloud, It was official that my mind had won the battle, things will only get better from now.

The euphoria I began to feel became physical. I felt it start at my heart and then spread across my entire body, to the tips of my fingers and toes. It felt like a never ending orgasm without the mess. It was the best physical pleasure I had ever felt in my life. I felt my heart. It was pounding faster than a power metal drum player on the snare. There was only one entity in existence at this point: my mind. It was in control of my body, of the drug and the whole world. I pointed at the TV, and my mind told it to turn green. It did. My mind then told the piece of dust on the ground to turn into a cockroach. It did. My mind told the cockroach to run away. It did. I was now in full control.

My mind was still racing about 6 times faster than usual, but the thought stream had changed dramatically from the experience in the kitchen. Instead of revisiting thoughts that I already knew of, it began visiting new thoughts. This lead to a complete spiritual experience for me and it is by far the hardest thing to explain out of anything from the trip. I had realised that the scene in the kitchen was actually a bad trip as a whole, as the drug explained to my mind because it was under it's control now, not the other way around. I felt at one with the universe, at one with my friends. I looked at every one of them. I felt complete happiness that they are their own individuals with their own beliefs and that the human race is a very special thing. I was a nihilistic atheist before this experience. Just by looking at my friends the nihilism was 100% flushed out of my system.

My mind figured out exactly why I chose the religion. I felt complete physical and emotional happiness for my friends and that they have their own beliefs. My mind kept on thanking the drug for these revelations which kept on occurring. As the final song of the album ‘Stagnant’ came on, which is one of the most upbeat songs I’ve ever heard, my religious experience continued and I was taken back to the creation of the Earth. My mind answered all the questions I ever wanted to know about everything. My spirit felt strong and it flowed with the different stages of Earth’s creation.

I also felt extremely satisfied that others have different theories than me. My immense hate of all other religions but atheism before this experience was completely reversed, and I gained respect for them all. The album finished and I still felt the physical sensation that the tiny beads of pleasure gave to me. I couldn’t believe the effect Devin Townsend’s music had on me, so I decided to keep on going and put on his album ‘Infinity’. Whilst Terria is a concept album on the Earth, Infinity is a concept album on a person’s life, from start to finish.

When the first song came on, my mind decided that I could not be seated in the chair anymore. It checked confirmation with the plush panther/puma in the corner of the room, and the panther agreed that this was the right move and winked back. Even though I had no control of my body, my mind was in such a euphoric mood that it controlled it in every way it wanted. For the first few songs I must have walked around the kitchen table 150 times, continuously air guitaring along with the music, patting the puma on its head and admiring its softness. It eventually struck me that the juicy apple from the guy’s movie, was actually the soft puma for me. I realised that his trip was his own, and I had absolutely no right to attempt copy it.

Every thought I had enlightened me. I felt a wiser person for realising the revelations that my mind was informing me of several times every second. By now, I realised that I was indeed god and anything that my mind wanted to do it could achieve. I looked at the TV. The film held a colour that changed every 3 seconds. Every time Courtney Love was on scene she looked like a vampire, and morphed naked, then she was wrapped in chains, then naked again, then clothed. Every time anyone other than Courtney Love was on scene, their face would melt. I was completely blown away that now my mind was controlling visual reality and that I have been rewarded for being able to control the drug.

I kept looking back at L who actually seemed to be paying attention to the plot of the movie, so, I had finally given up on the thought that he was tripping, although I was completely happy for him and everything that he was doing, feeling and all his beliefs. It was about 3am now, and L woke B up so we could all go outside and finish the weed off. At this point I felt that I was re-born thanks to all of the revelations my mind bestowed upon me. I felt like I know what it feels like to be god.

We moved onto the balcony, and I could feel my mind telling me that it was now time that it goes back into my body. I was back to one entity, however I realised that I was still tripping hard because my thoughts were still racing out of control. They started talking about the night and that it was a good relaxing session. I was just thinking to myself that how in the world is it possible that this was a relaxation session. I was god for goodness sake! L started talking about how his lungs are so fucked after the night. I then thought that how insignificant this was, and how the conversation so far up to this point was absolutely irrelevant towards anything. I tried to tell them that I was in fact at one with the universe and the feeling that I have now is the best feeling in the world.

They then proceeded to tell me I was incorrect, and that sex was. This greatly angered me for a few moments, but then I got a megalomaniac emotion that I have been enlightened and they have not, so whatever they said is incorrect and void. At this point, my mind left my body again to call me a douchebag and asked me if I haven’t learned anything from this experience. I then released that I’m happy for them that they think sex is the best thing in the world, and it’s their choice and belief. My brain commended me on my findings and announced that I have learned my lesson. It came back into my body not to leave again.

With the out of body experience out of the way, I was getting my perception of time and space back. I put on Judas Priest’s ‘Painkiller’ which I considered virtually unlistenable during the most intense part of my trip. I sat down on one of the chairs in the living room and I was asked by B of how I was feeling. Since there was no possible way I could explain everything there and there, I tried my best to tell him that I would tell him later. The movie came back on, and I started experiencing extremely strange hallucinations with colour and shapes within it. Everything would start morphing and changing colour on its own, without the aid of my mind being in control of it. I sat there in awe until the rest of it watching the amazing things that would emerge out of it. The movie finished and everyone was tired and decided to go to sleep, I was led to my quarters by B. This was the place where I would be rewarded for conquering the drug with visual pleasure.

When I was in the room, everything started to morph on its own free will. I started by sitting on the bed and looking at my iPod. The letters on the screen would smoothly change to others, I got an o changing into a d very often, whilst the colours of everything else around would be flashing and changing every 3 or so seconds. I chose to listen to some of my favourite songs while I lied around and observed the scenery. The first hours were me looking at the ceiling. The outline patterns on the sides kept on morphing, jumping and dancing. Every 20 seconds or so, I would be saying the world “WOW’ out loud because the visuals I was seeing were completely mind-blowing. It was a dreaming reality. I looked at the walls and star patterns started emerging and dancing.

The next couple of hours I spent with my mobile. I took a few pictures of my eyes in their heavily diluted state. I scrolled through all the photos I had and spent about 5 minutes of each, seeing how my friends would change and morph into anything and everything. I finally reached a photo of myself. I spent about 1 hour staring at it and witnessing the most amazing of changes to it. Not only did I morph into everything possible, the surroundings around me in the photo began to get faces and I was completely captivated by what I was seeing.

Luckily, the room I was in had a full sized mirror in it. I stood in front of it for what seemed like eternity and witnessed the most amazing of full body transformations. Every single transformation that I took on forced me to remark out loud that I was completely amazed by what was in front of me. The one I distinctly remember was a full bodied Dracula, with a cape and all. My eyes remained the same throughout all the transformations, but all the areas around them changed. I became L, S, B, a gorilla, Devin Townsend, a tree, a space commander, absolutely everything. It all seemed to come at random, I did not know what I was going to expect next. Many of these hallucinations were aborted due to immense pain in my jaw that would increase when I would focus harder.

It was already about 11 hours into the trip. I went out of my room to go to the toilet, where I noticed G. He was asleep during my entire trip. He asked me how it was. Thinking my mind was back to normal I tried to explain that I just had the experience of my life, but then I realised my sentences were still structured with random nouns all over the place and made no sense. He gave me a weird eye, and I just gave him my trademark thumbs up and proceeded to the toilet. My pee was (looked) a strange black colour.

I went back to my room and starting thinking whether I have done everything I wanted to on the influence of the drug. I agreed that yes it was and decided it was time to sleep. I realised that this was by far the best day in my life and when I would wake up I would be a new man. I closed my eyes, but sleep suddenly seemed to be the last thing on my mind. I could not stop reflecting about everything that had happened to me during the trip. The closed eye visuals were beautiful. They looked like a never-ending smooth kaleidoscope that produced random patterns and colours. I lay there in awe as the visuals inside my eyes changed and danced.

By this time B came to my room and told me to wake up, because everyone else already had. I told him that I didn’t sleep and he seemed a bit shocked. I made my way to the balcony where everyone was sitting and reflecting. I was sitting next to L who was at a complete contrast to me, even though we took the same dose of LSD. According to the psychedelic levels guide of ‘The Shulgin Scale’, the experience talked about would have ranked him at the very bottom of the scale, barely even on an ‘off baseline’ level. However I would have rated mine anywhere between plus 3 and plus 4. I was nearing the very end of my comedown but I still was unable to put together long sentences and couldn’t do much but listen to everyone speaking to each other, whilst I spent my time staring into one spot in B’s garden.

It was time to go home. I said my goodbyes to everyone and walked from the bus stop back home. Even though it was a 20 minute walk, it seemed to be over in about 2. My mum greeted me, but in order to not give too much away, I gave her a few smiles and announced I didn’t sleep at all and wanted to go now. I retreated to my room, and spent another hour or so reflecting on what happened. I woke up the next day with a whole new look at life, with the knowledge the drug did more than I could have ever asked or expected it to do. It re-iterated how important music is to me, because I cannot believe that the same thing would have happened to me if my iPod was not with me. I now look at the world with a shade of light rather than a shade of dark. I will no longer start chanting ‘IN NOMINE SATANAS’ when Jehovah’s Witnesses come door knocking. I will treat everyone with the respect they deserve. I will still however do all my assignments at the last minute.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 62454

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 8, 2007	Views: 52,551

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