		 DOSE:

		 100 ug
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

The year was 1982. A good friend of mine procured some blotter acid for me. I had used LSD in the early seventies several times. I was intensely involved in kundalini yoga and zen (zazen) type meditation for 2 years before the experience.

The dose of LSD was no more than 100-150 ug. I took the small dose and rode my bicycle to a nearby golf course. It was mid July, and the weather was clear and sunny. I played with a frisbee and ran for about thirty minutes, then decided the LSD effect was becoming prominent, so I sat beneath a large tree and began to meditate.

As I was meditating and watching the thoughts come and go, a thought which said ' the Buddha talked about the importance of faith...'

Immediately my awareness moved into a 'no mind' state... the last thought I had was: 'this is completely different'. The eternal infinite bliss beyond existence and non-existence- the transcendent One--it is complete. Happiness and unalloyed bliss.

In clock time, I don't know  how long, but as I was reintroduced to my mind I saw clearly how my mind was presenting reality to me. From the Inside, we are all living in our own karmically generated reality. The illusion is that it is 'real' or definite. In truth there is only the One. It felt and seemed like I had just been born. I sat there until almost dusk, then returned home by bicycle.

It seems I have been slowly integrating this experience for 33 years-- it remains a powerful memory in my mind even today.

Exp Year: 1982	ExpID: 106408

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 31

Published: Nov 15, 2017	Views: 2,900

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LSD (2), Meditation (128) : Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   220 lb

What follows is an account of an LSD experience I had over ten years ago. As such, it suffers from the obvious drawback of not being fresh in my memory. Undoubtedly many details, both qualitative and chronological, I have forgotten. I did not take notes during my experience nor even soon after it. Nor did I particularly make an effort to talk about the experience with other people, although I did offer my impressions on a few occasions, to friends and family. Bluntly, the following account is incomplete, though I believe it remains valid and worthwhile, as it presents the true highlights of the experience, the things that have persisted in my memory by virtue of their own natural persistence.

It was in October 2001. A Halloween party was going to take place at a nearby college, which some friends of mine attended at the time. Before this whole shebang took place, someone offered to get me LSD via a dealer whom I never actually saw. I got one hit (blotter). Several other people I knew got hits from this same source. I had never taken LSD before, and I didn't know what the dosage was, but after the party was over, the people who had some previous familiarity with LSD testified that the hits we got were quite strong. (And having taking LSD a few times since this occasion, I can now testify that myself, too.) I had virtually no scholarly knowledge of LSD whatsoever. My intention was simply to have fun, and my confidence came from the trust in the people around me. I made sure I was in a wakeful, positive mindset before dosing, but I made no specific preparations beforehand.

I took my hit early in the evening, while it was still light and before many people had arrived. For a while, nothing of note happened, as I ambled around the campus greeting various people and well-wishing them and so forth. I should note: nobody present that evening was a particularly close or long-time friend of mine, with the exception of my older brother. So I think there was a certain detachment on my part with regard to the whole scenario. One other thing I should mention: I smoked a great deal of very strong marijuana intermittently throughout the evening.

Roughly an hour after dosing, I was lounging in a dorm room with about five young people who had also dosed. We were sitting roughly in a circle. I recall my mind drifting into a pleasant, unobtrusive daydream. I recall mostly silence but no trace of awkwardness. Then I recall us all swiveling our heads around in a sort of yogic fashion. I recall spontaneous, childlike laughter. After a while, Kyle (name changed) arose and we all spontaneously followed him out the door, gently laughing. This pattern of getting up and following Kyle for no apparent reason was to happen a couple other times later in the evening; it was a sort of inside joke of the trip. As this was a Halloween party, Kyle had on a rather ridiculous cape, and I suppose that's why we took to following him.

Walking in a group toward the less-crowded part of the campus, I could feel some novel, unidentifiable feeling welling up inside me. The world was feeling more and more like something from a dream or a video game.

The world was feeling more and more like something from a dream or a video game.

 I don't mean I was hallucinating; I mean I was perceiving a kind of brightness and a kind of excitement at the swiftness of my own movements and the movements of others. Tripping was paradoxically dazzlingly new and comfortably familiar at the same time.

I recall looking at ivy on a wall, beholding its color and vibrancy, and being convinced that I was actually seeing its life, its living essence, as surely as I saw that it was green. I also recall closing my eyes and seeing hallucinations -- brightly colored, gently shifting kaleidoscopic patterns. When my eyes were open, there was a general sharpness and vividness to everything. Walls that were richly textured even gave the illusion of movement, like calmly meandering whirlpools. None of the visual imagery brought on by the LSD was even remotely unpleasant. Prior to tripping, I had been very afraid that it might be unpleasant. My fear fell away. My social anxiety fell away. I arrived at the notion that I had been sleepwalking my whole life and was now awake.

I arrived at the notion that I had been sleepwalking my whole life and was now awake.

At some point, I separated from the group. Then, walking in peaceful solitude in a sparsely-wooded field, it struck me that I didn't really know the campus very well, and that I might have wandered off into some outlying neighborhood adjacent to the campus. I hadn't -- but I saw people on picnic tables in the distance and suddenly became worried that they might be poor people intent on robbing me. It's been said that paranoia strikes deep. It did indeed strike me deeply then and there. I turned around and ran, my heart pounding. I was only running a few seconds, but I was being flooded with fear and artificial urgency. I spotted the shallow brick wall beyond which lay the dorms. As I jumped the wall, my fear subsided and my body relaxed, but a sudden idea lit up my mind like an explosion. It was the idea of an escaped lab mouse being chased by a hawk and running back to the safety of his lab cage.

Another engaging but less disturbing idea came to me as I was pushing my way through the crowded courtyard near the dorms. The party was in full swing, and the courtyard more than anywhere else was dense with intoxicated, costumed, raving, flailing dancers. In my t-shirt and jeans, my bloodstream heavily laden with LSD by now, bumping my way past all these debauched strangers, I felt very suddenly and strongly that I was like Jonah in the belly of the great fish. I had read the book of Jonah before, but still -- why Jonah? Jonah was called to prophesy, I thought. And he didn't want to go. Still -- why Jonah? The idea was too powerful to dismiss, yet I didn't quite understand it.

Back in my brother's dorm room, I wanted to get away from my own mind, so to speak. I sat down at the computer to listen to music. When I looked at the monitor, I felt a very cold, metallic sensation gripping my body. I was a little shocked, but I quickly overcame this and began looking through the mp3s. I settled on one of my favorite bands: Joy Division. (Joy Division was a British punk-rock band from the late 1970s, often credited as being the first goth-rock band.)

Sitting there in the comfortable chair, listening to the simple rhythms, I became introspective. I believe there were other people in the room with me or on the balcony, but I had so thoroughly tuned them out that it didn't matter. On LSD, I was very surprised at my ability to tune out peripheral events, because I had expected LSD to make that harder rather than easier. At any rate the people there weren't trying to bother me. So my trip turned inward. I thought about my own life. At that time, I was strongly considering getting a degree in computer science and hopefully getting a job as a programmer. I started to view this decision as a small, insignificant decision -- not a bad decision, just a small decision. I considered that a person's occupation should not define him, and that the real, important work in life is to be righteous. Joy Division pounded and strummed along in the background... but I largely tuned them out.

I thought about the mysterious nature of my own soul. A human soul has such beauty, grace, complexity, and integrity to be able to coordinate all its elements, all its ambition, compassion, memories, affinities, hopes, and fears. Furthermore a soul animates a material body which is itself bewilderingly multifaceted. Yet the soul is undivided. The soul cannot divide itself into two souls, nor can it merge with another soul. The soul simply is. I thought, to believe the soul is confined to this one human life is utterly laughable. I felt a palpable conviction in reincarnation. At the time I had no familiarity with reincarnation research, although I certainly had an interest in religions. All of a sudden I was convinced that my awareness stretched infinitely backwards and forwards in time. For one thing, how else could I explain the nagging familiarity of the LSD experience? It was a new experience, yet it resonated with something deep in my soul. As I sat there in awe of the insights I was being given through no effort of my own, something very peculiar bubbled to the surface. It was the idea that I had made some vow, some commitment far in the past, that I hadn't fulfilled yet. This commitment was some grand, overarching, heroic task of uniting all society under a common purpose and a common God. In other words, I was supposed to save the world somehow.

Logically I understood that I had never made any such commitment, but the problem being addressed in my mind, the problem of disharmony, disunity, disinformation, and miscommunication in society, was all too real, and I asked myself, 'How are you going to solve this?'

The computer's playlist had by this time made its way to a live recording of the Joy Division song 'Novelty.' The clarity of sound on LSD is truly extraordinary and, as far as I know, not achievable by any other means. From the cheap computer speakers, lyricist and singer Ian Curtis delivered his vocals with an astonishingly lifelike presence. Like some enraged public defender in a courtroom, he yelled the line, 'You slap our backs and pretend you knew about all the things that were gonna do.' At that moment, tears flooded my head and I laughed out loud. It was indescribable. The tears were undeniably and overwhelmingly tears of joy and not sadness, but it must be said that I did feel some degree of fear.

That was somewhere in the middle of the trip. As the night wore on and the LSD slowly wore off, I settled down, became less emotional, and resigned myself to the simple pleasure of staring at my own hands. I saw them as works of art. Gradually, however, fascination gave way to boredom as the trip came to a close; I wanted to sleep but couldn't. I wish I could say that the trip ended as elegantly as it had peaked, but by the time the sun came up, I was quite restless and grumpy.

I wish I could say that the trip ended as elegantly as it had peaked, but by the time the sun came up, I was quite restless and grumpy.

Had I been more conscientious about my first trip, I would certainly not have tripped at a crowded party, nor would I have started late in the evening. But considering the circumstances, I was blessed with a very uplifting first acid trip. I had set out to have fun, and I did. Nevertheless, I look back on the experience as inspiration more than recreation, and I have come to understand the inspirational message as follows. (1.) Don't fear change, even if change takes the form of death. (2.) Value communication.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 94089

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Nov 18, 2017	Views: 2,304

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Large Party (54)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 DMT

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   205 lb

I live in a town where not a whole lot goes on. It’s a dead valley with hot summers and cold winters and there isn’t really anything to do. Most kids my age find enjoyment in this valley resorting to drugs, alcohol and partying.

When DMT became available to me through one of my friends I was anxious to try it. I had never tried a hallucinogen before and I had planned on taking acid one random weekday during my spring break. My friend and I were on my couch downstairs watching tv, waiting for my acid to kick in. It had been exactly an hour since I dropped my two tabs. 4:15 they went in and 5:10 on my couch he looked at me and asked me if I wanted to smoke DMT. I said no, but the tabs had dissolved by that time and we were now waiting for my acid trip to begin. He said if I smoked weed with my acid it would make my trip intense. I thanked him for the free bowl and let him pack it.

He loaded our bong with a base of weed and sprinkled DMT on top, then packed some more weed on top to cover it up. Not really feeling too nervous, more excited to enhance my trip actually, I took the hit. I killed the bowl entirely and held it in. Little did I know until I held the hit did he pack two and a half doses of DMT into that bowl, I had wondered why the taste was so bitter and had gotten such a harsh hit.

Within milliseconds I began to experience a tingling sensation throughout my entire body. The world around me turned extremely bright almost as if to turn the brightness setting on a tv all the way up. The volume of life became so high that it turned to just noise and I couldn’t even make out what I was hearing. I finally breathed out. The world turned darker than before I had smoked as my breath left my body. I felt it extend outward as if the air was attached to my lungs in some sort of way. It was almost impossible to breathe and honestly I don’t remember doing it. I looked around the room and watched objects magnify and furniture distort and disappear. Then I remembered I had the bong in my hand and I put it on my coffee table. From this point the entire world around me turned many different shades of the color red. This is where my nightmare began.

I thought I had smashed the bong on my table and cut my hand open as I felt a very warm liquid on my hand with the bong as I placed it on the table. I went immediately to look at my hand and I watched my fingers disappear from my hand. Then I watched my feet disappear from my legs, then my arm from my body. I freaked out and started to feel parts of my body to see if they were still there. I touched my chest, my arm and then my leg. My friend stood up at this point and asked me what the hell I was doing and this only made everything worse. I actually thought I had ripped the limbs off of my body and peeled flesh away from bone. At this point I literally accepted death because I thought I was dying. I thought I had ripped my skin and body parts off because I was tripping so hard.

I thought I had ripped my skin and body parts off because I was tripping so hard.

 Then I blacked out and remember looking at my friend while I was sitting in the same place on my couch. I couldn’t move and felt like every bone in my body was broken. I thought I was dead and that I could see the world around me still. Looking around I realized I was tripping harder than I ever imagined I could. Shapes that I couldn’t draw or explain were floating in midair. Every material thing inside my house disassembled and floated in midair. My tv screen zoomed out at me and took over my entire field of vision. I just wanted it to be over at this point. I wanted to wake up.

I looked at my hand again remembering how I thought I smashed the bong and saw my watch was a snake so I took it off. I took my wallet and phone out of my pockets too and placed them on the table and took my shoes off and sat down. I then asked my friend if everything was okay. He said yes. I asked if I broke the bong. He said no. I asked if I spilled bongwater. He said no. I asked how long it had been. He said one minute and fifteen seconds.

I then looked outside and thought if anything I wanted to be where it was bright and shiny, where I could see the sun and try to be happy. I put my watch and shoes back on and then took my phone and wallet and walked outside into my backyard. My shins felt like they weren’t there and every step I took was like walking on water, the ground became distorted and almost goo like where ever I placed my feet. Still peaking I walked outside and sat down in a chair around my table. He followed me out and we sat outside while I looked at the still extremely insane yet mild hallucinogens compared to what I had seen while inside on my couch. Looking up at the sky I couldn’t tell whether it was cloudy or sunny all I know was it was brighter outside. I asked him what I did and he told me I was calm and breathing just fine the entire time. I had no fast sudden movements and didn’t seem as if in a panic at all. I talked just fine and seemed close to perfectly normal. At this point every brick on my brick wall was a tiki head and they were all talking to me. I was ready for the hallucinations to be over. I wanted to wake up from my horrible nightmare but time was the only thing that would help. I asked him at this point how long it had been and he said two minutes and thirty seconds.

As my friend finished his cigarette we walked back inside and upstairs to chill and watch some tv. I don’t remember the next twenty seven and a half minutes of my life.

I do remember each horrible visual I witnessed, each feeling I had, the sound of life during my nightmare, and most of all my acceptance of death. I had relived this nightmare every single night for about two months straight and even experienced another dream that recalled every same feeling I had while on DMT only in a different nightmare.

Insomnia and paranoia followed for a very long time as well. I didn’t sleep for that night, and got about four or so hours of sleep for every night after that until about a month ago. I began to become a captive in my room because I was afraid that if I opened doors I wouldn’t find behind them what I thought was really there. I didn’t sit in that same place on my couch for the next day.

I don’t recommend this substance at all. It was and might remain the most horrible and terrifying experience of my entire life. The visuals I can’t explain to anyone and no words even come close. The feeling of acceptance of death hasn’t gone away and I remember it completely. When I had heard you die on DMT and come back to life, I didn’t know it would be in that way…

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91136

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 16

Published: Nov 28, 2017	Views: 7,734

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LSD (2), DMT (18) : Combinations (3), Health Problems (27), Hangover / Days After (46), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Vitamins / Supplements

		   T+ 0:00
		 120 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 0:20
		 0.5 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 50 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 5:30
		 20 mg
		 oral
		 2C-B

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

Above and Beyond at Above and Beyond Concert

Start Time 8:30pm

T+0  120mg MDMA

T+20 0.5 blotter LSD (unknown dosage)

T+ 1:00 50mg MDMA

T+ 5:30 20mg 2C-B

I should preface this with a little disclaimer about myself. I'm 22, and pretty inexperienced with drugs, I smoke weed every now and then, usually about twice a month, sometimes more. I drink fairly often, most weeks I find a day to partake, but I seldom drink otherwise, a glass of wine or beer with dinner if it's a special occasion or social event. Other than that I haven't taken much in the way of mind altering substances, I've taken ketamine once, MDMA three times before tonight, and mushrooms once. This trip would mark the first time I've tried LSD and 2C-B, and my first time at a proper rave-type setting. One thing I have learned about myself in my very short experience with psychedelics is that I am very sensitive to drugs

One thing I have learned about myself in my very short experience with psychedelics is that I am very sensitive to drugs

, and often have different experiences than people taking the same drug in the same amounts as me.

I've been working all day, and I'm ready to go to this concert, I started the morning with Coenzyme q10, vitamin E and ALA, and took another of each of those right before leaving to the concert along with magnesium, vitamin C, quercetin and a big gulp of grapefruit juice to wash it all down. I'm with three friends, Double M, Moo, and K. K doubles down on acid for the concert, and decides to only take 100mg of MDMA, Moo is doing the exact same thing as me except he's doing 180mg of MDMA total, and double M is going for a pure MDMA only experience at 170mg.

On the bus to the concert, we all take our first 120mg dose, except for K, who only takes 50. as we get off the bus and start walking to the concert, Moo and I split a blotter of acid and place it under our tongues. The night is so far just like any other, except for the intense feeling of anticipation in all our stomachs.

As soon as I get in, I feel the bass from the show, and MDMA begins to trickle into my brain, everything is awesome and only getting more awesome. I push to the front of the crowd and dance my heart out and with every beat I feel better and better. After enjoying some epic bass drops and probably doing some damage to my ears, I retreat to the back of the crowd and find my friends, we text Double M to meet us at our predetermined meeting spot, and we all take our second dose, 50mg for K, Double M and I, and a 60mg cap for Moo.

Overall, the MDMA experience was very nice, but it wasn't as much fun as my other three MDMA experiences, and I think it was the fault of the crowd at this particular concert. Too many douchebags and people who, in my opinion, are misusing MDMA, combining it with alcohol and using it to enhance sex, rather than enhance love, friendship, and most importantly the music we all paid to listen to. This isn't to say I didn't have an amazing time, having a 90 out of 100 experience instead of 98 out of 100 is still an awesome night, but those 8 points are missed, no use crying over spilt milk though.

The concert ended at 1am, my roll was coming to an end, and Above and Beyond had rocked my world with some epic tunes. I popped 20mg of 2c-b and went to find Moo and K, who were also partaking in the 2c-b. Less than five minutes later, I've found everyone and we've all dosed, Double M showed up and we had an awesome dance to close the concert. We've all had an amazing time, which we talk about all the way to the convenience store, but the lineup was too long, so we head to the next one. After walking for a long time and passing many closed stores, we finally find an open store and we get some powerade and snacks. I've begun to feel the 2c-b at this point; everything seems familiar even though I've never been to this part of town, and I keep thinking I'm on the street where I lived in my childhood. I get a light case of the giggles, and this entertains everyone else, and then the 2c-b really hits.

We cross the street to get to the bus stop, and a couple metres before the glass canopy of the stop I suddenly feel amazing. Every fiber of my body begins feeling intense pleasure, my balls tighten up, and I feel like I'm having an orgasm. Looking back I should feel lucky that I didn't actually cum in my pants, that would have not been fun, I only had the sensation of cumming. I am forced to walk in slow-motion to avoid the immense overwhelming pleasure of any and all muscle contractions.

I am forced to walk in slow-motion to avoid the immense overwhelming pleasure of any and all muscle contractions.

 Walking in slow-motion helps turn the constant orgasmic pleasure down to a gentle stream, whereas walking at normal speed wracks my body with a deluge of pleasure which forces me to stop as every muscle in my body contracts with joy and pleasure.

Once the bus comes I try and contain myself to avoid arousing suspicion, but every time the bus accelerates or brakes the feeling of inertia throws my body into orgasmic bliss and it takes a herculean effort not to moan with pleasure. We're on the wrong bus so we hop out and try and flag a cab. K is making sure I'm alright, and explaining to him that I actually feel amazing takes all my remaining strength but reassures the group I'm not having a bad reaction or overdose. Once in the cab I close my eyes to avoid alerting the driver that I'm tripping balls and cumming with every single sensation, that's when I notice the insane closed eye visuals. I'm in the middle seat and the fractal kaleidoscopic visions include my two friends sitting on either side of me as pools of energy which pour colour into my visions from their real world positions, very trippy. Opening my eyes I'm always slightly surprised to find I'm in the same spot as when I closed them, and I don't recognize the streets to my house. I get out of the cab, still cumming, and slow motion walk towards my house with the group, K is with me and Double M and Moo are ahead. My house is only 50m ahead, but at the rate I'm walking, it's going to take at least 45 minutes to get there. K begins to worry a bit, but both him and Moo took the exact same amount as me and aren't feeling it the same way at all, so he isn't terribly worried.

K did notice that my body temperature was very high, and my skin was very hot, so I take of my jacket, blazer and t shirt to cool off. K then places his cold hand on my body to feel how hot I am, this sensation of cold hand on my torso causes a huge spike in the deluge of pleasure and sends me to my knees as I physically can't support myself. A few seconds of insane pleasure pass by and I manage to get back on my feet and continue slow motion walking towards my house. K decides he has had enough of waiting and picks me up and carries me home, now I've had some intense orgasms, but being carried through the cold air, with my skin against K's jacket was outrageous, he puts me down closer to my house, but I keep slow motion walking so he picks me up again and carries me the rest of the way brushing past a bush on the way which takes me to a new plateau of absurd pleasure.

Finally inside, I make my way to the couch to sit down and try to stay still and get some respite from this now hour-long orgasm. During that little trip the one scary part of the night occurred, I bumped my head against a wall as I was walking and I felt no pain, just a strange dull sensation and then pleasure, I got briefly worried I might do something incredibly dumb, but I had my friends around, so I felt safe. The process of sitting down on the couch took at least 5 full minutes, every time a new part of my body touched the soft couch I would be sent into the stratosphere of pleasure. Once I settled down I managed to take stock of my surroundings and examine my situation. I was still quite lucid during this time, the extreme pleasure prevented me from communicating effectively, but I felt very much in control of my body and mind. I tried to communicate how I felt to Moo and K at this point, and I described the feeling like getting a blow job from god, I'm not sure I would describe it that way sober, but I bet if god exists and he gave you a blow job, it would feel pretty damn good, a three hour orgasm could easily be the result. Looking around the room, Double M had fallen asleep opposite me, she had only taken MDMA and was definitely tired from the concert, Moo and K were still up and feeling mild effects from the acid and 2c-b but nowhere close to what I was going through. I heard Moo and K talking about googling symptoms of 2c-b overdose, and a few minutes later, talking about how good it was that I had none of the symptoms.

I calmed my body down enough to subdue the orgasm to a faint trickle of pleasure coming from the feeling of the air on my skin, but a quick glance over to Moo and K brought me right back up. I could feel each muscle fiber behind my eyes firing and bringing my eyeballs around to look at them, and the sensation of glancing over sent me right back into the orgasm, the twitching from the orgasm sent me higher and higher, and just when I thought I could control it, my cat brushed against my leg, and sent me to the moon. I believe it was at this point, probably around 3 am or so, that I was peaking and anything and everything was setting me off, K said something and just the feeling of the sound in my ears made me feel amazing. I had a water bottle in my hand which I must have squeezed when I was in the throes of the 2c-b powered orgasm, when the bottle popped back into shape, the sound of the pop and the feeling in my hand cause waves of orgasmic pleasure to race through my body, the waves meeting and bouncing around throughout me.

I spend another hour on the couch overcome with pleasure and I decide I really need some sleep, I get up and slow motion walk to a bed and slide into the covers, a feeling which produced so much pleasure I doubted if I would sleep at all that night, trapped in an endless orgasm. I managed to control myself and fell asleep after an indeterminable amount of time, finally escaping the multi-hour orgasm that had grown tiresome.

I woke up feeling pretty frazzled and went with Moo to mcdonalds to grab some breakfast, Double M and K had already gone home, I was definitely still feeling it, no visuals but definitely really good body feelings. Biting into a warm hash brown produced a pretty intense feeling of pleasure, but nothing I couldn't handle after a night of pretty much constant orgasms. Moo and I head our separate ways, I take some L-glutamine and 5-HTP and take a short nap, I smoke a tiny bit of weed and take my dog for a walk. Upon returning, I feel like I'm almost all the way back to normal and a few more hours of internet browsing and housework I feel fine except for the slight nagging serotonin depletion from the MDMA, I text a girl I know and get some quality time in bed with her which brings me all the way back to baseline. The only remnants from the night before are now the awesome memories and soreness in every muscle from the MDMA-fuelled dancing and the 2c-b powered mega orgasm.

Upon reflection I think the LSD played a subtle but very important role in the experience, I thought I didn't feel it all night, but the beginning of the orgasm and when the acid should have been peaking coincide nicely. I am led to believe that the LSD contributed to the 2c-b madness but I'm not really sure how, I need to try each of those substances individually so I can figure out the effects of each.

My hangover was mildly pleasant the first day after, a bit of afterglow with an increased interest in objects and nature, colours seemed ever so slightly brighter and my mind felt a little confused but clean. The second day I feel the negative hangover, the lack of serotonin causing apathy and a general nagging malaise that clouds whatever I want to do. I find I have an increased interest in symmetry, drawing symmetrical figures and patterns all over my notebooks during class, which is odd considering how rarely I draw anything other than cubes or squiggles in the margins.

I feel a long break is in order between now and any experiences like this one, my brain is a little fried and I don't feel going to class in this state is a good thing, so until the summer rolls around I will not be trying another epic night like this.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99283

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Jan 4, 2018	Views: 3,764

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LSD (2), 2C-B (52), MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), General (1), Hangover / Days After (46), Combinations (3), Various (28)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:45
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		 .5 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

Hello Friends.  After four years, and many other voyages into psychedelic wonder, I'm going to tell those to whom it may concern about my first experience with LSD. Here goes.  It was a dark and snowy night in my humble abode by the river.  After repeatedly mentioning my interest in LSD over a year or so, my druggist (I'll call him Sunny) came over with the goods.  Ten colorful hits of blotter in the cutest little 1/2' single hit ziplocks and some Blueberry Afghani Hash Plant. I tried to stay calm, but deep down I knew I hadn't the faintest Idea what to expect.  It was 9:30 PM by the time we ate our paper.  I started off with one hit and Sunny (I believe) had two.  No turning back... this excited me. You see, if anything fascinates me in this world, it's the unknown, and personal revelations that challenge what's socially accepted and/or lawful (as well as physically/mentally/spiritually possible).  I played the waiting game for 45 minutes before deciding maybe it was weak material, and I took another hit on Sunny's suggestion.  Not long after (10-15 min), I started feeling the 'rising vibes'.  Chills, shivers, and an unexplainable inner expansion.  Fiddling around with my iPhone, the icons began to bounce around and dance lightly as I stared in amazement.  Knowing that the effects I was feeling were only the onset of the first hit caused an excitement that still gives me chills.  What was I in for when the second dose took effect?  What would happen during the PEAK?  This was around the time my two roommates and another friend left the house, uncomfortable with the thought of spending hours on end with a couple of dosed dudes.  I don't blame them.  They don't experiment with substances that may affect the boundaries of what goes through their minds.  Their loss, though upon reflection, we may have been better off with a sober sitter or two.

So, Sunny and I were now alone.  I had mixed feelings about this.  Sunny had buttloads of experience with LSD which calmed me, but he was also known to be quite immature, and a wild party animal, and I really didn't know what acid would do to two dudes cooped up alone.  These sorts of thoughts started running through my mind.  Considering all the infinite possibilities led to uncertainty, but the further along we were, the more I put my trust in Sunny to know what was good for me 'My first time on acid' (in quotations because this phrase was a repeated theme for us).  This trust would be challenged and twisted, and thoughts of betrayal caused the most unsettling times of the night.  Sunny suggested that it might not be a bad idea to relax and watch a movie.  I agreed, and started going through my collection. Nothing too complicated, sinister, or disgusting.  I could imagine with each title what I figured it would be like to watch each one.  Wild Boyz was a particularly off-putting possibility.  I knew there were certain triggers that could potentially cause a horrible experience, and just seeing Steve-O's face was probably one of those triggers.  I finally landed on 'Back to the Future' which Sunny somehow knew I wouldn't be able to handle.  Poppycock!  I put it in, started her up, and didn't make it through the first 20 minutes.  Doc's face began to bubble and warp and I thought for sure I was going to throw up or void-bowel in my pants if I had to watch the whole movie.  With a sense of urgency I took it out, and told Sunny surely he could pick the perfect movie for 'My first time on acid'.

While he did that, I went to the bathroom when I felt like I may have to urinate.. It was a strange sensation, like I may already be peeing my pants, or could lose control of my bladder at any moment.  I had been queezified by the sight of a mutating bubbling human head with wispy white hair.  So I figured my best bet was to take my mind off it and take a break from my company.... and possibly vomit.  but walking through the house quickly brought me to a better state of mind.  Once inside the bathroom, my trip went all 'cats' on me.  Not the musical (thank God). But I was looking and peeing down into the toilet bowl and the shape of the hole in the bottom was transformed into the mouth of a cat lapping up my yellow stream.  This completely captivated and showed me that the normally unseen was on my side, ready to drink my urine should I require it to.  Hesitantly, I looked in the mirror above the sink and initially saw my face with every pore and detail. My face then grew whiskers and stripes and became a Tiger face.  Not realistic, but it looked like an asian style tiger face tattoo I've seen. It surprised me how level headed I was at this time and how enjoyable it was to be seeing all these things transformed to cats.  Being turned into a tiger was a pretty rad idea to me. I think I also enjoyed being alone, by this time I had probably been in the bathroom for 10 minutes just gazing in wonder as the world became a living thing with a vivid imagination.

I think I also enjoyed being alone, by this time I had probably been in the bathroom for 10 minutes just gazing in wonder as the world became a living thing with a vivid imagination.

I came back out of the bathroom and told Sunny-boy about the sights I'd been seeing.  He burst into intense laughter when he heard about the toilet quenching itself upon my bodily fluid like a happy feline.  (I've seen certain toilets with the same shape of hole in the bottom and always get reminded of that feeling).. I have never made anyone laugh that hard before or since, he was hysterical.  It was time to smoke a bowl.  And since my roommates were gone we allowed ourselves to smoke in the house, scream at the tops of our lungs, pace endlessly between the kitchen and living room, and fully let the Acid have its way....  After the bathroom, the bowl, and some quick conversation about how we were 'living like young kings' Sunny had picked out Grandma's Boy to watch... I had seen it once after some drinking games so I didn't remember it well.. why did I own it?..  My peak came and went during the movie, and I remember being quite out of it, and felt myself becoming involved in the emotions and circumstances of the characters.  I can recall some very vivid, fully lifelike visuals during the movie of smoke and mirrors and characters doing things that I knew didn't actually happen during the movie (interacting with me, bursting into group laughter, creeping around trying to trick me into something).  Eventually I came to the conclusion that I didn't like movies like that because they seem like a side-show of people willing to make fools of themselves in front of a camera for a cheap laugh and a bunch of money.  It makes me that much more appreciative of those artists who have the creativity and talent to blow your mind when they put in the time and effort..  oh and speaking of mind-blowing, once my mind was back to being unoccupied, I realized the extent of the effects in real life and knew I wouldn't be going to sleep any time soon.

I started to feel uncomfortable and attributed it to my unclean house.. Dust on the window sill, possible mold and mildew, un-fresh air.. and a tripping partner with whom I wasn't all that familiar with.. Sweet Susie, what had I got myself into?  I recall standing and looking at Sunny for what seemed like quite a long time and thinking about how to go about getting rid of him should his presence become undesirable.  Little did I know my thoughts were becoming a threat to him, and before I knew it I was pondering the best place to go to dispose of his body (just in case), and was getting a look from Sunny like, 'OK man I can read your mind and you're really scaring me silly right now...'  He had an extremely uncomfortable/nervous grin on his face.  This was unacceptable, and I realized there would be no need to resort to violence.  We were in this together and would finish this together one way or another..  What to do in the meantime was now the issue at hand.  We sat on the couch and pondered the possibilities for 'my first time on acid'.

As I looked out the window at the snow on the ground, I felt that I noticed detail in things that I would never see in a state of normalcy.  The window itself took on new meaning as I thought about the molecular structure, the density of it's matter, and the relative permanence of it's structure so long as nothing busted through it.  A tiny crack in the window was particularly interesting, and seemed to represent imperfection, and I began to wonder about the meaning of this revelation.  I have considered myself a Christian since my early teens, but have since begun to question the accuracy, intention, and understanding of the biblical authors.  The trip helped me to more fully understand the infinite nature of God, and though I may never know the full extent, this was a glimpse beyond my previous understanding.  I felt a personal connection to divine forces that some may never even dream of (why on earth is this even frowned upon?).  My personal view of God is that, yes it exists, and is everything, but may be in a process of purifying itself through humanity.  I could go on, but it may not be worth pondering such deep topics until next trip (or after life?).

[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

And speaking of trips.. This is about the time when Sunny and I agreed we were coming down enough to go for a wintery ride in my trusty four wheel drive.  Everything remained at a higher intensity, yet the visuals had died down mostly.  But as we got out on the road, the car in front of us began to morph into a cat's face like the many other's I'd seen thus far.  It was a Honda CRX, and it seemed to have a happily menacing expression.  I'm reminded of the saying 'While the cat's away the mouse will play'.  And though I was in a potentially dangerous situation, I felt like I was in complete physical control, and felt at play.  Not being reckless, or even careless, I noticed I was nearly out of gas.  On top of that, I had no means of paying for gas on my person.  These facts caused a wave of fear and paranoia.  The thought of being pulled over terrified me, so we made a very short drive back home.  (I recommend not driving while on LSD, or any other intoxicant for that matter)

Upon returning home, I wanted nothing more than to lie down and rest.  Sunny tried talking me out of it, I suspect because he didn't want to be alone.  But I couldn't be persuaded.  I went to lie down in bed and watch The Big Lebowski (one of my all time favorites) on my laptop.   For a while I looked at the ceiling of my room in the dark and saw a detailed pattern of pac-man shaped figures, mouths perpetually chomping, filled in with the waving stars and stripes of the American flag.  This was accompanied with apprehension for the election of Barack Obama.  I felt like he was only elected to further the consumption agenda of the political elite who take advantage of the working class to the greatest extent possible.   Wherever there are people willing to work, there are those who will say and do anything to create a life of luxury for themselves on others' sweat and blood, while dismissing the notion of equality.  Money in this case is the means of exploitation.  May God have mercy on the poor souls who have no Idea of the corruption causing their misery and unfulfilled lives.  I pray the tables will turn and the lies will be transparent to the truthful, rendering the liars powerless.

This is where I lose consciousness, and drift into sleep. I'm guessing the trip lasted 8-10 hours, and when I woke up, I was not at baseline, but felt an energy that shielded me from negative thought.  Sunny and I watched a live concert DVD of Led Zeppelin, and discussed drug use by bands of their hayday.  The legend of Jimi Hendrix onstage with a handfull of acid tabs under his sweaty headband.  The retreats made by Led Zeppelin to create the inspired music which I believe is empowering to the inquiring listener.  We sat and smoked the rest of the cannabis, and if there was a state of being that could be sustained indefinitely, I would choose this.  Calm, Peaceful, Bliss.

Thanks for taking the time to read.  May this life be a continual blessing to you and yours.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 98798

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Jan 5, 2018	Views: 1,952

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LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   100 lb

I was twelve years old when I took my first and last dose of 'Acid'(LSD). I never wanted the experience again even though the drug produced a euphoric state and was gentle to me. My visual sense was distorted. Everything took on the look of a reflection in a shiny doorknob or christmas ball. I was not disturbed by this, rather I understood that the drug was causing me to perceive things this way. But my thoughts took it a step further. I came to the conclusion that my experience of the world was defined by my perspective at any given moment. Right then, LSD was altering my sensual perception and that experience felt equal in validity to my everyday experience of the world.

LSD was altering my sensual perception and that experience felt equal in validity to my everyday experience of the world.

 LSD had its own experience of being in the world. The world I usually inhabited suddenly became an agreed upon way of structuring our experience. I understood that it was necessary to agree to a structure.

At twelve I had wondered about the meaning of the word 'mean'. I had gone around asking all the adults I knew. But none of their answers addressed the real question. Now staring at a active mosaic pattern on the wall, I realized that something means something only in the context of an agreed upon structure.

LSD had allowed my twelve year old mind to see that the world is, in a sense' created by beliefs and those beliefs are tied to the way we structure experience.

I knew then that truth was relative.

I never desired LSD again.

Exp Year: 1973	ExpID: 26486

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jan 9, 2018	Views: 2,566

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Unknown Context (20)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 0:30
		 300 mg
		 oral
		 DXM

		   T+ 1:00
		 2 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

A beautiful hippy/backpacker beach in Thailand, a session of traditional yoga massage, and some very good drugs combined to form an astounding mystical experience on the island of Ko Chang.

................................................

I arrived at Treehouse Bungalows on Sunday morning, and instantly I fell in love with the place. A large thatched bamboo hut formed the restaurant, overlooking the sea, with dread-locked and tattoed travellers lounging around, reading, or lying in hammocks. A collection of small bungalows available for less than $4 per night. A beautiful white sand beach, with clear turqoise waters lapping against the shore. This was one of those places that I never want to leave.

On my first day at the Treehouse, I decided to try a combination of LSD and DXM, which I'd never done before. The acid was a microdot I'd bought a month earlier from some Japanese hippies, and it was good (I'd tried one before), definitely enough to get pretty decent visuals. On top of the microdot, I planned to do 300mg of DXM (enough to give me a strong 2nd plateau trip on its own), and some very good cannabis. The setting was marvelous, yet somewhat risky; I was alone, so I'd have to take care of myself.

I took the acid around 3:30PM, and ordered a chai tea shake in the restaurant while waiting for it to kick in. Perhaps 30 minutes later I noticed a gradually increasing body buzz, a feeling of 'energy', which is when I took the DXM. Colors were enhanced, but still no significant mental effects.

A short while later, I went back to my bungalow, smoked a couple of bowls, then returned to the restaurant. On my way to the restaurant, I noticed a couple of Thai women offering traditional massage on mats overlooking the sea. I'd never had a massage before, but the idea of having one on drugs seemed tempting, to say the least.

By now the effects of the drugs were quite strong. I lost perception of my body, and, while returning to the restaurant, began walking in a robot-like fashion. Meanwhile, my head felt like it had expanded to three times its normal size, with a distinct feeling of pressure inside my head, as if it were a balloon filled with helium to the point of bursting.

I lay down in a hammock in the restaurant. My mind became clear and open, and all my internal dialogue, or 'mental chatter', ceased. Simultaneously, any thought which did form in my head was distinct and observable. I could watch my thoughts, as if each one were an electric charge spontaneously moving between two points in my enormous, gas-filled balloon of a head.

I could actually feel my heart beating, yet since I couldn't feel my chest, it seemed to be beating in the midst of nothing, suspended in mid-air. I spent several minutes just feeling the sensation of my heart beating, with a sense of awe.

I could see open-eye visuals at will, such as branches of a tree moving and taking on the shapes of animals, but the visuals seemed neither important nor amazing, so I ignored them, and started surveying the scene unfolding around me in the restaurant.

And what a scene it was! I felt as if I had divine powers of observation. All around me, different conversations were taking place at the various tables of the restaurant. I could 'tune in' to any one conversation at will, and hear all the words (and feel the emotional weight behind the words) distinctly, as if the words were being spoken to me - even if in fact the conversation was taking place at the other end of the restaurant.

Gradually, as the effects grew stronger, worry began to form in my mind, and I wondered what I could find to occupy my time for the remaining hours of the trip. I remembered the possibility of having a Thai massage, and as crazy of an idea it seems being in the state I was in, I thought with a smile, why not?

I robo-walked over to the women offering the massage and pointed to the sign advertising it (she didn't speak english). I lay down on the mat, and suddenly hands began crawling over me. I had lost contact with my body from the DXM, but whatever part of me was being massaged, that part became the totality of my existence. When my shoulders were being massaged, the only part of me that existed was my shoulders. In turn, I became arms, legs, buttocks, ankles, and so on. Even stranger, it seemed as if each body part that was being massaged was comprised of hundreds of life forms, as if my consciousness had expanded to the cellular level of awareness.

Soon it became apparent that this was no ordinary, western-style massage. Thai traditional massage is considered a form of healing and religious practice; indeed, 'applied yoga' is a better term than massage. After the regular kneading of muscle, the masseuse began manipulating me into yoga-like postures and stretches. And of course, yoga is itself meant to induce altered states of consciousness, the goal being the realization that one is in fact a manifestation of Brahman, God, or the eternal Self.

The combination of drugs and yoga induced a mystical experience of enormous power. I was not thinking it, I was experiencing it. The three bodies of thought which shaped my experience were Brahamanism, which regards all forms as being of the same, godly essence; Buddhism, which insists that there is no Self, and quantum mechanics. In the midst of my mystical state, all three bodies of knowledge converged to a single point, in a manner which I will attempt to convey as best as words will allow.

I ceased to become my ego. My ego (the person I thought I was, that I identified with) was a mask that I'd been wearing for so long, I forget it was actually a mask, and believed it was actually who I was. Instead, I became the source from which all things emanate. I discovered my true Self, the self that Brahamnaism refers to, yet this Self had no relationship to anything my ego was or had experienced, other than the fact that my ego is just one form that the Self can take on (as are all people, animals, plants, and inanimate objects). The Self that is not-self (annata).

This Self, this core, was not a God, for a God would just be another manifestation of it. Instead, the Self was quite like a single fundamental unit of matter. In the midst of the mystical state I was in, this was a conviction stronger than any beleif I have ever held. The eternal Self was nothing more than a particle, which due to quantum uncertainly, spontaneously spawns virtual particles, which in turn can combine to create an infinite variety of forms. Of course, the probability of such a random configuration becoming a form of life is minuscule, but then again, we can only be aware of it once its happened!

During the height of my mystical experience, I was only faintly aware of my limbs moving in according with the masseuses instructions (another women had joined in, so there were now two massaging and stretching me). Time seemed to be eternal, and I felt as if the yoga-massage would continue until I had attained full enlightenment, and hence would have fully transcended this world!

Of course that did not happen, and eventually the masseuses tried to indicate to me that it was time to pay and leave! I was jolted back to my ego long enough to pay my bill, and somehow (miraculously) stumbled back to my bungalow and lay down in bed. The peak of the experience had passed, but I was still tripping hard.

As I lay down in bed and felt my ego slip away, I felt anxiety for the first time. It was a familiar anxiety that I often experience while tripping, especially in the moment of ego-loss. I suddenly remember all of my commitments and unfinished work, and feel that if I loose my ego, everything will result in failure. This only lasted for a moment, and I had the sensation of facing and finally defeating this anxiety.

The next few hours I lay in bed, experiencing tastes of the same mystical state I had experienced while being massaged, except of a lesser degree. As the drug effects began fading away, I experienced some valuable insights regarding myself (on the level of the ego) and some of my friends. When I was finally able to sit up in bed and get my bearings, I began experiencing incredible swirling visuals, though these only lasted a few moments. My watch read 10:30 (seven hours after the LSD ingestion) and I felt sober enough to grab some dinner.

In conclusion, I found LSD and DXM to be an incredible combination! While I doubt that every (or even most) of my future experiences with this combo will result in a mystical experience, I believe it holds much potential. LSD by itself causes a transcending of the ego, though (at usual doses) attachment to the physical body remains intact. DXM, on the other hand, causes a transcending of the physical body, though the ego remains intact. The combination, therefore, allows for the transcending of the ego and body simultaneously, which can result in some breathtaking (and potentially terrifying) experiences.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 38411

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jan 23, 2018	Views: 3,440

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LSD (2), DXM (22) : Combinations (3), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   97 lb

It was the last few hours of December 31st, 2017. On that same day, I had unexpectedly received an 125mcg LSD blotter from a friend of mine. Now I was in a hotel room, alone with my boyfriend (let's call him Jacob), and eager to have my first LSD experience.

At 11PM, he cut away a little less than one quarter of the blotter and took it. I took the remaining three quarters. I was feeling extremely happy and excited, without a trace of negative affect in my mind. Earlier that day I had been a little sick, but not then.

The first different sensation I had was at 11:40, when I noticed Jacob's phone looked 'deep.' A few minutes later, I got up from my sitting position, and remember saying I was 'feeling shorter.' All those different sensations were hilarious to me, and I couldn't stop laughing.

Not long afterwards, I was already feeling very different. My capacity for movement was severely impaired, and I and Jacob were lying on the bed. I felt 'less conscious.' I felt very far away from reality, as if I was fading away from life — falling asleep or dying.

My gastrointestinal system was feeling wild, and taking over my perception of the world. I felt endless loops of nausea and hunger that didn't seem to go away, even when, after much effort, I got up from the bed to eat a tangerine.

Near midnight, Jacob carried me to a hammock outside for us to see the fireworks. I was already experiencing some interesting visual effects — namely, seeing patterns everywhere, in the clouds, the walls, and Jacob's hair. Most of those were several colorful Star of David, although there was much more as well.

Jacob seemed more entertained by visuals than I was. At that moment, I was still feeling less conscious, far away from reality.

'I am definitely experiencing negative affect,' I told Jacob, at some point, in the hammock, after the fireworks stopped. 'I feel nauseated, in a Star of David-shaped way. And it's really annoying, because I can't vomit in a Star of David-shaped way. I also have eight dimensional hunger and I can't eat in eight dimensions. I am not feeling good.'

'But,' I thought to myself, 'this is really interesting. I am glad to know I am normally happy enough that I can afford to consciously inflict myself discomfort sometimes for the interestingness of it.'

I thought to myself, 'this is really interesting. I am glad to know I am normally happy enough that I can afford to consciously inflict myself discomfort sometimes for the interestingness of it.'

Later, I returned to the hotel room, intending on trying to vomit, and Jacob went to the pool. Upon arriving inside the room, however, I fell on the bed, and just stayed there, barely able to move. My visual field was taken over by endless loops of what was ahead of me. Any movement I tried to make seemed 'infinite.' There were colorful, classically psychedelic patterns everywhere, especially if I closed my eyes. Somewhere near me, Jacob's music was playing psychedelic music.

'It's okay for me to just stay here,' I thought to myself. 'They won't mind, since she put me on acid.'

I was briefly confused by that thought for a while. Who were 'they'? There was only me and Jacob in the private hotel space, and no one could see or get near us. But my mind had a quick answer. 'They — the people inside my mind. There are hundreds of them.'

At that moment, I felt my identity, my self, shredding into many little pieces. Suddenly, I wasn't Mary anymore. I was only one thin layer of her self, out of the other hundreds that were observing me, including her herself, who wasn't me — who was just the person who put me on acid, without whom I wouldn't have been born. The layer I became had no gender identity — or perhaps leaned a little masculine. It was purely analytical, concerned with experiencing and understanding that profound experience.

The endless loops of nausea and general gastrointestinal discomfort were still there. Still lying down, I turned my head to face the bathroom door. 'There are hundreds of people inside my mind, about half of whom are Jewish. The Jewish ones won't let me vomit.'

It took a long time, but eventually I was inside the bathroom, trying to vomit. It was impossible. The vomit was Star of David-shaped, it couldn't go through my throat. I sat down on the floor at some point, and got entertained by the tiling of the wall of the bathroom. It felt infinite, as if it extended into all dimensions.

'Don't make yourself mad,' I thought to myself. 'You're just experiencing acute 5-HT2A receptor agonism. 5-HT2A receptor agonism, 5-HT2A receptor agonism, 5-HT2A receptor agonism.' I looked at the mirror, and experienced some gender dysphoria. The 'layer' of identity I was wasn't as feminine as the reflection I saw. I ended up returning to the bed, and just stayed there, unable to do much.

Jacob came back from the pool. He was smiling at me. At that moment, he felt to me like a little child, who knew nothing about the profundity and importance and significance of what my mind was going through. That sensation just grew as the hours passed.

He lay on the bed, and started touching me. But any time he tried to, I screamed 'Don't touch me! Don't touch me!,' what was rather confusing for me. Usually, I love being touched by him, and usually, I'm a very agreeable person. 'Sorry,' I said. 'When you touch me, it feels infinite, and that bothers me. You should touch me finitely and absolutely, not infinitely.'

Jacob seemed entertained by sensorial experiences. We spent a while not talking much, just experiencing our trips. Anytime I did say something, however, during the entire trip, it was just as strange as what I said before. Jacob didn't seem to mind, but his experience was different enough that anything he said sounded extremely normal and sober.

As time passed, I lost more and more of my Mary identity. 'I'm not who I thought I was,' I told Jacob. At some point, I nicknamed myself — or rather, who I was at the time — as 'The Acidmost Layer.' I could still feel all the other layers of my identity inside me — but they weren't being experienced, I wasn't being them at the time. They were hundreds of people, 'half of whom were Jewish, eighty-four of whom wanted infinite tangerines.'

The Acidmost Layer wasn't female, and didn't love Jacob. Those few hours during which I was 'it' were the only period of time I didn't act or feel romantically around Jacob. I didn't feel anything for him, and I didn't want him to touch me. I saw him as an 'annoying soberperson' saying naive sober things, having annoying soberpenis needs, which I needed to attend to because Mary, who had put me on acid, loved him. Technically speaking, he was on around 30mcg of acid and having wild sensorial experiences, but as I vocalized at some point, 'anyone who doesn't have at least 300 people inside their minds is super extremely sober by my standards.'

We stayed on the bed without saying much, each enraptured by their own experience. I had a strong feeling of significance, importance, and profundity, as if what I was going through was the most important and meaningful thing in the world and anyone who wasn't or hadn't experienced it was eternally naive and ignorant. That felt strange, since the feeling of significance didn't accompany any specific thoughts or insights. I seldom used words to think. Jacob attempted to have sex with me at some point, and I dodged him away, which is something unusual for me.

After a while, and much effort, we went to the fancy hotel bathtub, and turned on the bubbles.

He was enraptured by the bubbles, and I was still feeling analytical, serious, with my hand in my chin, as if I was contemplating the most important philosophical questions of the universe. 'There are so many questions,' I said at some point, although I didn't know what were those questions. 'Do you have the answers, soberperson?'

But the things Jacob said almost all were very sober, normal, rational — relating to the real world and its events. That annoyed me somewhat, and strengthened my resolve to refer to him as 'soberperson.'

At some point, the shape of the bubbles reminded me of Mary, the woman who'd put me on acid, without whom I wouldn't have been born. 'She loves you,' I told Jacob. 'She loves you a lot. But she's not here. That is, she's not being experienced now. Mary exists in the future, and in the past.'

'I can feel her, right now, I can feel her inside my mind, remembering this moment, from the future, thousands of times. She's remembering this moment thousands of times. I can feel it. That's the only sense in which she exists at this moment, as someone in the future remembering this, and I can feel it very strongly.'

'How is Mary from the future?' Asked Jacob.

'She's great. She's happy. She loves you, a lot. All the thousands of her's. But she doesn't exist right now.'

Several minutes of outward and inward silence passed, until I noticed, examining the bubbles, that my mind was less crowded with people.

'They're pleased with me.' I said. 'The people inside my mind, I pleased them. They left me, as did the curse of the eternal Star of David nausea… but they still won't let me sleep, I don't think. But let's get a spaceship and go to bed. I want to talk to the other ones.'

With 'the other ones' I was referring to my internet friends, to whom I reported some of my experiences once we were back to the bed. I didn't call them 'them' because 'them' during my trip referred exclusively to the hundreds of people inside my mind.

After a while, I and Jacob had sex. But I was completely apathetic, still, and silent — I was The Acidmost Layer, who didn't identity as female, didn't like Jacob, and was only doing it out of a sense of felt obligation towards the 'soberperson who is here because Mary loves him.'

The Acidmost Layer didn't have love, positive affect, desire, kindness, or femininity. The Acidmost Layer was a purely analytical philosopher, and the aforementioned characteristics were things it strongly associated with Mary.

'I have to enjoy the most out of this while the gates to the truth are still open' I said. 'They'll close soon, for a long time, and Mary will be back.'

The gates closed sooner than I expected. At about 6AM, Mary started coming back. The several people inside my mind slowly merged into one, my happiness came back strongly, as did my love and kindness. I started kissing and touching Jacob again, and eventually, we had sex. 'This is amazing,' I thought. 'It's so much better to be me than The Acidmost Layer.'

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111446

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Feb 5, 2018	Views: 1,981

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LSD (2) : General (1), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)