		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 800 mg
		 oral
		 Smarts - Phenibut

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis - Hash

		 50 mg

		 Ketamine

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

Aprox 10.15 (T+0) It is the day after the [Ireland] general election. It is blustery and stormy out, and I decide to drop one tab of good quality Dr Seuss LSD along with 800mg phenibut. My experience has led me to believe that they are around 140 – 160 ug range. After my highly enjoyable recent trip with the Simpsons tabs, I was eager to enter the gates of psychedelia again. It is a weekend, so my family are at home. Because of how manageable, clear and pro-social my last trip was I was curious to experiment with entering a heightened consciousness in a more social domestic setting.

(T+1.15): The come up already feels stronger than from my recent trip with 1.5 of Simpsons blotters. These are definitely stronger. I have that familiar acid come-up gurgling and churning in my stomach. Having a relatively heavy cooked breakfast probably didn’t help. My mind is beginning to feel amorphous and flowing. Colours are brighter and more vibrant, gradients have increased, and the familiar acid sheen is back. The sun is breaking through the clouds and I can feel energies flowing through currents in my body which makes we want to move. I might try out a few asanas… The sun is out for now, so I have decided to go out for a hike and experience the elements instead.

I went out for a walk to witness the storm on the coast. I had a distinct urge to go out and face the storm. I walked through the local nature trail and smoked a bit of hash in some secluded spots overlooking the sea. I contacted a friend of mine who happens to be a witch to ask if there are any Irish God/ess associated with wind and storm. She informed me that there is in fact an Irish goddess of the storm called Caillach and that this is her season. Her cohort is also taken to be Manannán, the god of the sea with further associations to sea storms. This synchronicity influenced the remainder of my trip.

I stopped at several times to sit and experience the force of the storm and feel the spray of sea against me. I felt at home in it, comfortable in the storm. I recognised the turbulent sea as being our primordial evolutionary home. At one point I ushered forth an invocation to these gods which is included in the notes bellow, taken during my coastal hike.

(T+2.50): Caillach and Manannán we recognise your chaotic force as the underlying truth! We accept you into our life and the beauty that so flourishes forth from it. Hail the storm! Hail Eris!

(T+3.00): The visuals with LSD are all fluff, LSD is about the clarity. Seeing things as they are. LSD is like attaching microscopes to each retina. I can see everything in its pure clarity. It’s not an hallucination, it is just truly seeing.

(T+3.10): Caillach and Manannán we welcome you. Your upheaval is needed for evolution to progress.

Love. Chaos. Power.

The walk was invigorating and enjoyable, and I felt a real comradery with the others who were out to witness the storm.

At one point the rain and hail started coming down heavy and with the gale force winds and my lack of raingear aside from a raincoat I was apprehensive about my hike home. Luckily a friendly couple passing by in their car stopped and offered me a lift. I was talking briefly to a nice Polish man who had been caught out while running. Interacting with people came easily and didn’t feel awkward or forced.

Interacting with people came easily and didn’t feel awkward or forced.

When I got home, I took 50mg of ketamine and a long hot bath. I soaked in the hot water and felt connected to Manannán, the ocean…

(T+7.00): It is most vital for anthropologists to recognise the FUNDAMENTAL importance of the phenomenological experience to human life!

Following the electoral coverage, it seems that the stormy upheaval outside is an apt metaphor for the general political climate. Sinn Fein have gained record votes and there has been a seismic shift away from the neoliberal status quo of Fine Gael / Fail that has dominated Irish politics since independence, towards a left alternative in young voters. People want a radical upheaval and revaluation of the values that our society and culture represent.

Since I have been home, I have been able to communicate and socialise with my family with ease. I seem pretty comfortable socially on this dose of LSD. I have begun to believe that I often find low dose (20 – 60 ug) trips more uncomfortable than higher ones; I have a tendency towards anxiety on them. Not quite in and not quite out either, stuck in an uncomfortable liminal zone. For me personally I think it has to be a proper microdose (

Overall a very nice trip. I feel ready to embrace the storm and chaos that are the impetus towards novelty and evolution.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114084

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 29

Published: Jun 29, 2020	Views: 1,171

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Smarts - Phenibut (379), LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Combinations (3), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:20
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

At 15 I had been put on medications for bipolar disorder against my will because my father had it, I experienced some depressions, but I did not think I was actually bipolar, I never experienced mania and I never really felt like I had a mental disorder.  I was on and off of drugs and wasn't really affected by them (probably bc I was an all-county track athlete in high school).  Then after a severe depression spring freshman year of college that had me on the brink of suicide I came home and started feeling good again, it was summer and I could make up from my poor performance in the next semester.  Things were looking up, I had a good job, my life was under control again.  There wasn't a better time to try LSD.

I was at my friend's house and I took 1 blotter at 5:15 and the second at 5:35, a big mistake but I didn't realize that at the time.  At 6:15 I felt the onset of the acid, I felt weird and then the flowers on the table I was sitting at started growing.  I told my friend what was happening and asked if this was it and he said not even close, just wait until you peak.  Then I put on Dark Side of the Moon on headphones.  As Speak to Me/Breathe came on the first wave really hit.  I looked at my Zune and the prism started rotating and the light beams started moving up and down.  At the time, I felt like this was the beginning of the greatest experience of my life.  Then everything started “swimming” and I looked at a clock in the room and it started to contort and melt in on itself.  I was elated, it was everything I ever dreamed of and so much more.  I decided to go outside and smoke some pot, I wanted to experience nature.  Walking around outside, I tripped balls, everything was doing everything and I couldn't get enough.  I couldn't stop thinking: Life is where it's at and that my mind was beautiful.  Why hadn't everyone done this?  Why is this illegal?  That is all I could think about.

The rest of the visuals weren't important, just same old weird acid things, that weird pattern on everything, the Camel walking across the desert on my pack of cigarettes, etc.  What is important is during the peaks, I had 2 because I was an idiot and took the blotter at separate times, I had a life (and brain chemistry) altering experience.  It was during this time I was in a small room, incapacitated on the couch, waiting for the trip to be over, stuck in a thought loop about the moment is all experience, everything is one, all that hippy shit.  My thoughts raced and I couldn't function, they went too fast and I realized that my brain chemistry could not handle this, I must be bipolar and this was a terrible idea.  When I came down from the acid, I changed my mind, I felt like it was the greatest experience of my life.  I wanted everyone to drop.  I felt like I was never more alive.  My thoughts moved a million miles per second, but that was because I was a genius.  I was on a different level than the rest of the world.  I was a genius, an artist, a innovator.   I was invincible.

Reality check. I was manic.  I ended up taking 14 more tabs during 5 trips that summer.  One of those times was 3 tabs at work and I'm a lifeguard.  The more acid I took, the faster my thoughts were and the more I left the planet, the more manic I got.  It took until I could barely function before I went to a psychiatrist and started getting treated for bipolar disorder.

Bottom line:  The amount of acid I took really exacerbated my bipolar disorder.

Just to be clear, LSD did not give me bipolar disorder, that does not happen, I was already genetically predisposed.

This does not mean I regret dropping acid, in fact I regard it as one of the most important experiences of my life.  I am and always will be a strong advocate of the psychedelic experience.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 94661

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jun 30, 2020	Views: 983

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

My Experience: LSD Mixed With Psychiatric Meds

I take the antipsychotic Risperdal (1mg in the morning and 2mg at night), the antidepressant Wellbutrin (150 mg in the morning), and the dopamine promoter Cabergoline (.25mg twice a week). The last med, Cabergoline, is used to lower my prolactin levels which were elevated by the Risperdal. On Sunday, I took my morning meds but not my night meds and on Monday I didn’t take my morning meds on purpose because I knew that my meds could damper the effects of LSD.

I knew that my meds could damper the effects of LSD.

I picked up my friend at around 1:00 pm on Monday and we drove over to my house. We stayed in my basement. Both my parents were home because they work at home. He brings out the LSD and I get super nervous so I say I’m going to wait for a while. We were playing Lego Star Wars and at around 2:30 pm I said I was ready so I took 1 tab which he said was 100 micrograms but we did not test it so who knows how much it actually was and if it was actually LSD. I took it sublingually and it was probably under my tongue for about 20 minutes before I swallowed it.

I pretty much instantly felt high but I was definitely not tripping. I was very happy and chatting a lot with my friend who was trip sitting me. I put on a Mac Demarco album and the music sounded very good. I first felt like I was tripping about an hour after I took the tab when I went to use the bathroom. I was light headed and I felt a lot of pleasure in my body. My friend suggests at around this time to go to a local trail that was only 5 minutes from my house so he drives me over there in my car.

The trail is usually pretty busy but since it is the middle of the day on a Monday I probably only saw a person every 5 minutes. When we started hiking the trail I got very weird thoughts. For instance, I thought there was a species in another universe that were playing as humans in a video game, and we were in that video game. I told my friend that I thought that when I started taking my meds, a different person started playing me in that video game and that is why I acted differently.

About 15 minutes into the hike (between an hour and 15 minutes to an hour and a half after I took the tab) I felt super lightheaded so I decided to sit down in the shade. I notice a leaf is floating and I start to freak out and breathe very heavily. This is when things got really bad. I got very overwhelmed that we had to walk all the way back. It seemed like an impossible task even though it was a very short walk. I try to get into a comfortable position but it is impossible. I felt completely disconnected from my body. It felt like I was way skinnier than I actually am and it feels like I’m floating every time I try to walk. I lie down a listen to music which helps a little. I say to my friend sometime during this that I think I am having a bad trip. He tells me not to worry about it.

I start freaking out and decide to take a pill of 2mg of Risperdal that I brought with me

I start freaking out and decide to take a pill of 2mg of Risperdal that I brought with me

 because it will stop the trip. This is probably an hour and 45 minutes after I took the tab. To my surprise, it does not work instantly. At this point I just randomly start moaning and crying but it only lasts a few seconds and then I try to get comfortable again. The cycle repeats a couple of times, I moan and cry for a few seconds and then try to get comfortable. My friend asks if I want to hug. We then hug each other for around 30 minutes. We would let go every time somebody walks by but I would get very freaked out during that time. The hug really kept me grounded and helped me not worry too much about having a bad trip. At the end of the 30 minutes, probably around 2 hours and 30 minutes after I took the tab, I suggest that we hug as we walk. We kind of just put our arms around each other and I had a hard time walking in straight lines.

During this walk I feel pretty happy and the anxiety of the bad trip goes away. We sit down on a bench and I get very cool visuals. The best way to describe it is that some areas of my vision would enlarge and some areas would contract. Everything was swirling together. When I closed my eyes I could picture very complex objects such as a guitar as if it were real life, which I can normally never do. I also get tracers when I close my eyes. Slowly the visuals stop and the trip fades away. By the time we leave the bench, which is around 3 hours after I took the tab, I feel no effects of the LSD except I have very little appetite and I get pretty bad cramps. This is probably because I took the antipsychotic.

A similar experience happened like this the first time I really got high on weed. I definitely want to try LSD again in the future, just maybe when I’m off all my meds.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113545

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jul 2, 2020	Views: 852

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LSD (2) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Guides / Sitters (39), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 6 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   repeated
		 vaporized
		 Cannabis
		 (extract)

		   repeated
		 vaporized
		 Nicotine
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   185 lb

It was my birthday,  I was in good spirits. And I had one last trip in my stash. Six doses from a fat strip of what may be the finest LSD I have ever had. Also experimenting with curcumin in conjunction with piperine as an MAOI. A smaller dose of which had negligible results, so decided to double my dose.

I took the curcumin/piperine suplements at 12:30AM, followed by my dose of L at 12:45AM. Smoking herb and vaping crumble hash, as well as the occasional cigarette and pull from the vape throughout (this continues consistently all night). I catch up on current events while I wait for that feeling that signals the drug is beginning to tale effect. That skin crawly, nauseous, anxious feeling. Like a great mass of energy is building inside of me. This began, quite softly, at 1:30AM. But quickly increasing in intensity at aproximately 1:45AM. My heart began racing wildly as I stood calmly, smoking on my patio. I breathed somewhat heavily as if I had just gone for a brisk walk. I knew I would be in for a wild ride as the half moon shone brightly from above.

As the effects progressed, I quickly lost track of time. But not much had passed as patterns began to form on every rough surface. The stars began to dance around, and I felt it was time for some music. I made my way inside for my headphones, lit some incense, and pressed play on Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta. I loaded up my wax pen, cut my birthday cigar, and went back to rejoin nature. Once outside, I lit my cigar and closed my eyes in extasy. What greeted me was a kaleidoscope of some of the most intricate fractals I have ever seen on acid. And this includes my experimental dose of 3,000ug a couple weeks prior. And this trip is just getting started.

After enjoying the eyelid movies, I went back to stargazing. As I watched them gliding around the heavens, seeming to gain as much enjoyment from my music as I was. I realized I was putting a great strain on my neck due to the only visibility in my back yard being straight up. So I made my way around to the front, and found a nice spot in my driveway to lie down and get a full view of the sky. As I stared into space, I lost myself. I was overtaken by an overwhelming oneness with the universe as she gave me a breathtaking light show. Exactly what I saw, what I thought in those moments is gone. Flashes of the sky, stars moving, and what looked like translucent tunnels forming between them are all I can recall from this moment that felt like forever. And I'm only halfway done with my cigar, meaning its only been about 30-45 minutes since it was lit. Feeling a bit exposed, knowing these activities in the middle of the night may seem a bit odd. I decided to take it back to my patio in case anyone were to look out a window in my direction. But first, a detour indoors for what McKenna would have described as a 'bomber', and more wax. I sat and stared at the grass, I danced, I smoked my joint, I puffed my cigar. The whole time in awe at the gestalt of experience assaulting my conciousness.

I stood staring up at the moon, or should I say, moons. As it appeared as if the were trying to occupy the same space. I took a few big rips of hash, and suddenly I'm laughing hysterically. So hard my eyes are clenched shut. And what I see if a fractal made of maniacal, grinning, wide eyed, laughing faces. Tongues hanging out of their gaping toothy grins. Colored like pool balls. It's as if they fell from nowhere in the darkness of my eyelids like drops of water, splashing apart, spinning, and reforming as two. They did this repeatedly, gaining more depth, and in more infinite numbers than the time before. The patterns they create becoming more complex. And all I could do was laugh harder each time at how impossible it all was. And when I opened my eyes, the faces were everywhere. On the trees and bushes, in the clouds, on the walls. When I went inside and looked in the mirror, they were all over me as well. Then I notice out of the corner of my eye, something moving.

The floor in the hallway was covered with intricate geometric patterning. It was mezmerizing. As the mosic played it fed the patterns, it drove them. Segments broke off and slid, or swirled, drifted and twisted to the sounds, coming to rest on top of previously laid patterning, this process continued repeating as they became more and more complex as I just stood yhere slackjawed and wide eyed. Then I realized how strange this must look and shut the door to my bedroom and decided to roll up another joint. Of coirse being distracted by countless things along the way, and apon realizing that I was in the middle of doing something, I hear a a garbled chuckle, and not just one but many. These ever present faces were laughing at me, so I laughed right along as I sealed the jazz cigarette. And thats when I noticed it, these patterns on my floor, they were comprised of the faces, so I look closer, hands and knees style, the faces are made of little faces. And what else can I do but laugh at this scene that would drive the average person to madness.

I step outside again, smoke my joint, a couple cigarettes and step back inside because, and pardon me for being a bit crude, but I was horny. So I found some colorful porn and did my thing, of course, the faces staring at me from everywhere, including my monitor, on the erotic art, on the bodies of the models, it didn't exactly help the process along, but I got a good laugh out of it. Now, heres why this is relavent. As I came, firsr there was a flash, and everything went into overdrive, and my CEVs became infinitely more complex, culminating in a ride on a roller coaster through a castle an the surface of a star, or in a volcano, not exactly sure. But it was a bit firey outside the windows.

Then I decided to sit down and just chill out for a mitute to some trippy music videos. Let my mind rest for a minute. Then I laid back, put on some Shpongle and watched the faces. They were in a sort of duel checkerboard formation, forming a corner in the center of my vision behind my eyelids. Dancing around, columns would twist into helixes, whole sections wpuld spin independantly. Or launch forward and the drop back one by one, one tooth at a time, litterally tearing themselves apart and puting themselves back together. And I realized thay I was staring at my psyche. Specificly the portion related to my anxiety. But also that they were growing more complex again until I was back in the castle from before, then suddenly I'm watching a cow, a very cartoony cow. Like cg animation. Only this cow has a jetpack, and the jetpack is spewing out ice cream as its method of propulsion. Which both confused and delighted me.

The night, or morning rather, continued on as it had been. The faces remaining everpresent throughout the remainder of the trip. I had begun calling them the lysergic faries. I enjoyed watching them play in the clouds as the sun rose. But the night was over, and I was tired. I laid down and listened to a recording of McKenna giving a lecture on the history of psychedelics. Watching the still image it was set to move about the screen until my eyes closed and I watched the patterns there, moving in and out of lucid dreams I can't recall until I finally slipped into unconciousness.

In summary, either this was one of those perfect times for a trip, or the curcumin and piperine worked wonders. I can't be sure until I try it in conjunction with mhrb tea. And just as a side note, my anxiety has been diminished greatly since that experience. This by far was the best LSD trip I have ever had, and I don't see that changing for quite some time.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109349

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 29

Published: Jul 19, 2020	Views: 656

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 0.5 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		 0.5 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 0.5 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 2 glasses
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   14 st

I am writing this on the third of January 2017, after having had one of, if not the, greatest experience of my life on new year’s eve into the new year. It was at a party, at a friend’s house, but before I tell you about it, I shall say something about myself and about my life prior to this experience which influenced the set and setting.

I am a 29 year old male. I used to live by myself, but after being burgled, I moved back in with my mother. I do not work, except for guitar lessons I give (I have a degree in music) and have not worked for over four years. Because of severe mental illness I am relieved of the obligation to look for work. This illness is psychosis. I would say that it was drug-induced, it was the result of becoming addicted to MDMA and combining that with vast amounts of cannabis smoking. At the same time, as anyone who knows anything about addiction and mental illness knows, stressful and unpleasant aspects of life as well as my innate propensity for the illness played their part too.

I was prescribed aripiprazole which got rid of the psychosis, for the most part. Some might say I am stupid and irresponsible, but several months after taking aripiprazole, I started taking recreational drugs again, mostly my beloved MDMA with the necessary accompaniment of strong weed… that was about three years ago, so let’s fast forward to 2016. In the summer of 2016, I gave up drugs. Then at the beginning of October, I took some MDMA, this time in the form of high-quality pills, and LSD for the first time and had a great time. Thus began another period of indulging to excess in drugs; however, compared to previous periods where I took absurd quantities of crystal MDMA, lethal doses, I have treated the pills with more respect.  Flipping has been the order of the day – the pills have been combined with mushrooms and LSD.

So, in December, following consecutive weeks of taking drugs, I had a bad trip. In many respects, it was the worst trip I’ve ever had. I was with a friend, and I really should not have taken drugs, basically, but I took them stupidly as well.

I really should not have taken drugs, basically, but I took them stupidly as well.

 For a start, I smoked weed, which was foolish, as although a little bit can be ok now and then, I would say more than any other drug for me it is cannabis that induces psychosis and depression; I actually despise cannabis. Also, we did not take enough ecstasy; after having taken it on several consecutive weeks prior to this bad trip, for some reason I thought ‘Ok, just take a small amount this time’ when what I should have done was have at least as much as on previous occasions since tolerance builds up; what’s more, I crushed the pill and sniffed it, which is an inferior method of taking it compared to eating it, since it does not last as long and seems to produce effects more comparable to cocaine. So, the experience was full of hatred and misery; it was positively excruciating, the music I love sounded abysmal and I was psychotic. It was especially painful and distressing because I shared the experience with someone who I love and adore – she is not my girlfriend, although I wish she were. I will refer to her as my unrequited lover.

After this experience I promised myself I would never take drugs again. I was depressed. My mother noticed and didn’t like it, and this in turn made me feel even worse. At times I had auditory hallucinations, even though of course I was still taking my medication, and this made me panic. What I really wanted was to see my unrequited lover again, to apologise for some of the things I had said and just have a nice chilled time to make up for the trauma and depression I brought on us both. I bought her Christmas presents and just before Christmas, I texted her, but she was very unresponsive and despite me telling her I had bought presents, she was not interested in seeing me. Of course, one cannot bribe someone with presents to make them see you, but I was furious. I remember lying in bed, my heart beating with rage, unable to sleep, and at some point, a disembodied voice started whispering to me. For the next few days I was mildly psychotic and got little sleep. Then on the 27th she texted me saying I could come round, and I felt intense joy, although I could not take her up on the offer because I had family stuff to attend to. After that I found it easier to get to sleep, although the disembodied voice and difficulty concentrating continued.

Any way, a good friend of mine invited me to a new year’s party, and I took him up on his offer. I had realised that last time I had had the bad trip for a reason – it had been several weeks so reasonable time for one’s brain to replenish its serotonin; obviously I would not smoke cannabis this time – in fact, I had given up cigarettes on Christmas day. So I arrived at his house, had an ale, enjoyed seeing familiar faces and meeting new people. Around 40 minutes after arriving (at about 9:10 in the evening) I took half a pill, a blue Tesla. It gave a nice a subtle effect – initially I found it a little hard adjusting to not being able to smoke, everyone there was smoking cigarettes, but the half a pill got rid of that. So we were playing games and drinking, then about an hour after having the half a pill, I took one tab of LSD. Games continued, and I found myself yawning quite a lot, but I felt good, if a little nervous. They had decided that the radio would be on all night rather than youtube which disappointed me a little because I love music and like being able to choose some music I like. So at one point I went for a brief walk with my personal CD player.

When I got back I was feeling good. One moment sticks in my mind: I went upstairs, and on the landing one female friend of mine, who by this point had obviously taken ecstasy, was sat close next to a girl who I did not know who also was on ecstasy, and they were affectionately leaning each other’s heads together, perhaps they were quasi-hugging. Despite my having taken lots of ecstasy and been involved in a fair few parties, I don’t think I had ever seen such a lovely, casual, friendly show of affection… Perhaps at raves, but that was strangers in public with the back drop of oppressively loud music. So seeing these two girls I suddenly casually realised, with quiet, casual joy, that this was what a drug or more specifically, MDMA experience should be like. So I cosied myself up next to the girl who I knew. Other people were there and we all chatted… at some point I took the other half of my pill. It seemed to hit me quite quickly and that, in addition to the LSD, manifested itself in a funny kind of stimulation, I could not control my eyes, they were darting all over the place, I could not relax, but at the same time I was feeling great.

At some point we go downstairs for the countdown to new year. Then back upstairs again, on the landing, I give out some mushrooms I brought with me. I was going to give these out for free, but my friend who had invited me insisted that I swap it for half of a small pill – this made me very happy, and I took the half a pill. It was in the shape of a ghost. I also gave some mushrooms to the two girls. Then back downstairs again… more people were arriving, and I was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed and amorous.

Although my friend was adamant at the beginning of the evening that only the radio should be on, as he became more drunk and intoxicated, he became more relaxed about this. So I plugged in my personal CD player… We actually alternated the radio and my music for a while. We were dancing and having a good time; people both friends I had met before and new people, were being affectionate to me – one girl I had met once before persuaded me to take my coat and bag off. Then disaster struck. I looked on the speaker – my CD player was not there, I looked in my bag – it was not there. I quite quickly jumped to the conclusion that someone at the party had stolen my CD player; I quickly concluded that it was some sort of conspiracy against me, that they were mocking me and the music I had put on, that they had despised it. I told them ‘someone has stolen my CD player’ but no one seemed to care much. I sat down. I put my coat back on.  I looked at my watch – it was about 2:30 in the morning. ‘Too late and too early to catch the train back home’ I thought. I felt an ugly kind of superior feeling arise, that the music I was playing (John McLaughlin’s seminal psychedelic classic ‘Devotion’) was obviously better than their silly pop music. Since I was high, the sadness and anger one would get from being robbed instead manifested themselves in feelings of smugness and superiority. A few other people asked me how I was. I told them maybe I had lost my CD player, maybe it had been stolen… Eventually, the girl who had convinced me to take my coat and bag off told me to stand up, and she gave me a very long hug and told me to relax. Of course, it is well known that a long, close, proper hug can be very beneficial both physically and mentally.  After this, it occurred to me to reach into the pocket of my coat, then into the hole in my pocket into the fabric of my coat. The CD player was there.

I realised how offensive it was to accuse people of stealing my CD player. But I said it didn’t matter. They casually agreed.  As I mentioned, I had been burgled in 2015, by people who I knew, and had lost most of my beloved CD collection amongst other things. It has left me scarred and sometimes the paranoia and feelings of violation it induced reappears.

But, this created a sense of tension and release and in a way helped to reinforce the feelings of great appreciation and love I had previously felt (which was now redoubled) for my friends at the party, also the people I had only just met, and people who perhaps I had only met once before. People clocked that I was feeling good again. A few times I was offered more beer but had already drank two ales and found that sufficient. At one point I put the rest of my beloved ‘Devotion’ back on.

Eventually people began to leave, and some people went to bed. I looked in two of the bedrooms – people, men and women, were together in bed in a beautiful and innocent display of camaraderie and affection. As with seeing the two girls before, seeing this, for me, was unprecedented. This, I thought, is what an MDMA session should be like. I imagined this is how hippies in the 60s and 70s who had got hold of MDMA or MDA might have behaved like, how this was why the drug was truly therapeutic.

However, I did not join them. I went back downstairs and sat there in contemplation. During this time I experienced awesome amounts of therapeutic psychological reflection, great, oceanic feelings of love and joy... feelings of empyreal bliss, genius and Godliness. I reflected on the debates I had had in my life, my political opinions, and they seemed charged with an importance and significance that hitherto they had never had. I felt a tremendous sense of authority and belief in my own perception of the world, and belief in my own capabilities. I felt beautiful, profound and philosophical.

I felt beautiful, profound and philosophical.

While this was great enough, probably the highlight was listening to 'In a Silent Way/It's about that time' from the album ‘In a Silent Way’ by Miles Davis. Of course, the whole album is divine, profound, but John McLaughlin's solo on 'It's about that time' especially so. The phrase from 8:29 to 8:40 (for those who are interested) just a few bends appeared with such profound Godliness... they actually appeared vividly in my mind’s eye as two rectangles with alternating black and white panels diagonally across, like yin and yang, with tear-shaped droplets in the middle... there is definitely something oriental about McLaughlin's playing here, it's so understated, effortlessly profound, insouciant contemplation of God. Its divine expressive import is derived from a kind of exploratory noodliness... I actually experienced in an abstract manner the two ostensibly opposing forces of playing that seems so unsure of itself, so humble, with a perfection, a quiddity... it seems to suggest it could be an infinite number of ways, indeed, is music that is cognizant of the fact that things can happen in an infinite number of ways, and that by acknowledging this, the outcome paradoxically has greater authenticity as an object that is 'frozen' i.e. recorded.

This was a transcendental, visionary moment for me. The yin/yang image took me onto a plateau of bliss that has stayed with me. It is hard to explain.  It feels like normal, cosy and not at all intoxicated, no weirdness, not overwhelming, not extreme or messed up; just a casual acknowledgement of something crucial that is self-evident, but that is so easily forgotten in life. It feels like God, but I am not sure.

I am afraid I experienced hardly any visual hallucinations to speak of, and those I did, I cannot describe. In any case, while sometimes I do get cool visual effects from psychedelics, their coolness is dwarfed by the profound cognitive effects they cause, in the right set and setting. They create an awesomely profound euphoria that complements MDMA’s different kind of euphoria, and give it a philosophical aspect. I felt loved, understood, and appreciated and I cannot conceive myself abusing these divine chemicals again like I had done in the past.

Anyway, I went to bed on January 1st and woke up the day after still feeling good. I watched a TV program and took practically none of it in; I was still thinking about my experience and had difficulty concentrating. I felt tired that day (yesterday). Later on my unrequited lover agreed to see me, which was awesome, we chilled and had the kind of nice relaxed time that I had wanted. I really have not experienced a crash; tiredness maybe, but no crash. I have read about people giving specific instructions on the order in which to take the substances to avoid crashing on a candyflip, but if the set and setting is good in my experience it really does not seem to matter what order one takes the MDMA and LSD in.

I feel like the therapeutic reflection I experienced has continued ever since. I now feel enormous gratitude for what I have and my abilities, which I will endeavour to make the most of. I feel so lucky that I have enormous appreciation for music, that I know such nice people. Also, the whispering disembodied voice which I worried I’d have to deal with forever, has completely disappeared.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 109782

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 29

Published: Jul 23, 2020	Views: 1,477

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), Large Group (10+) (19)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit

		 LSD
		 (gel tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   135 lb

Let me start by saying that I am surprised to find myself  writing about this, after all, it happened years ago.  Even though it might sound unusual I know it was real, I could feel it in my hands- the gift of a miracle!

 This was an acid-trip before I knew about things like harm reduction websites, and knew that other people were turned-on about psychedelics.  But I'm not sure I've ever read about anything like it.  I guess I never could, it was my own personal miracle.

A few summers ago my friends and I discovered LSD.  It came to us at one of those points in our lives when everything was coming together.  There were four of us- we 'dropped out'.  It was a kind of movement inward, but as a group.

These were different times, only three years ago, but worlds away.  I for one hadn't had much experience with psychedelics, relatively speaking, not to mention the world itself.  But I had this feeling that there was some kind of energy that we could collectively tap into by taking these drugs together.

We were at a campsite that required us to wear plastic clamp-on bracelets.  I'm sure you've all seen them before, there's a little black snap; once you have it on, its on.  he only way to get one off is to cut it off.

Three of us were present, sitting in a triangle around the fire.  At first we were distracted at having to tend to the fire, but once it got going we relaxed.  My dude simply said, 'Thanks.'  We were then all filled with a gratitude overwhelming.  Our energy met and the fire grew, we no longer had to tend it with our hands.

I was leaning forward, elbows on my knees, hands clasped.  I lowered my forehead to rest on my knuckles.  In this position I focused my energy inward and outward both at the same time, I began radiating more with every breath, encompassing all the energy inside and around me untill there was nothing.  Nothing.

The blissful experience of Nothingness faded as my consciousness was brought to back to the physical world.  I lifted my head from my hands.  I looked up and found myslef holding the capmground bracelet, open and unclamped, in my clenched fist as though it had never been fastened upon my wrist.

It was as if I had completely disappeared.  The bracelet could no longer contain me, I was nothing. But it was more than just physical transcendence, time had been altered as well, the bracelet was yet unclamped!  In order to un-do one of those snaps it would take a pair of pliers, or strong fingernails, in which case the snap might simply break, but it hadn't; it was complete, like new.

Yet I hadn't done anything at all, I was merely concentrating with mind and body while on ONE geltab of LSD and somehow, someway, somebody, did something; changed something.  Not only a physical condition in the world- the bracelet on my hand, but a condition within myself.  I had seen the 'impossible' right before my eyes.

I made the connection between the bracelet and handcuffs, I felt like Houdini! I was free! Liberated from containment in the physical.  I had proof that the mind could alter the world.  But yet how remains a mystery to me, I did not do a thing, in fact I was perfectly still...

This experience was a gift, a lesson about limits of faith and possibility.  I still don't know how it happened or why it happened to me, but I did learn that miracles do happen, and for that knowledge my heart can never be hardened.

Of course, I never did find that bracelet in the morning...    Ha, ha!  You'll never have proof!  You don't need it anyway!

I man once called Booker

Exp Year: 1998	ExpID: 13073

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 28, 2020	Views: 669

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LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 200 ug
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   60 kg

[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

I have been sick on and and off for almost two months, and the day I went for the trip I actually started to feel worse than I felt for quite some time, but since the sickness has been accompanying me for such a long time, I decided to do it anyway. I was also hoping that the acid will reveal the nature of the disease or the way out of it. The day of the trip was in the end of a week of a Feldenkrais teacher certification retreat, which had a large affect on the outcome. I was very tuned in to small details, movement and the sensation of pleasantness and rest. On the morning of the trip I also went to a craniosacral session, which amplified those restfulness and attentive qualities even more.

I took it alone (200ug), my best friend was babysitting, my teddybear from childhood was on my head or shoulder during almost the whole trip, it gave me a lot of strength. We found a nice place in a park near my mom's house, I took it, and then we did some Tai chi couple exercises. I wasn’t really feeling well, and standing made me really tired quite fast. After maybe five-ten minutes, we stopped, I returned to the blanket I had, and waited.  My thoughts did start to have some sort a vague visual aspect they don’t usually have, but it was very settle. I was a bit worried about the dosage. I opened my eyes and started to do some sort of sky gazing meditation, and had a recollection of the first poem I wrote, when I was 13-14, something like – clouds, sometimes they are small, sometimes they are big, sometimes (something with cats and mice)…

The clouds were nice to watch, but nice things turned every time to something morbidic, sexual or melting, which was a bit scary. Also when I closed my eyes, every thought I had walked in this path eventually. I went to pee. Came back and felt a bit like Aladin on my red blanket, imagining it can fly.

This part is a bit blurry. I continued to look at the clouds, and in a sense got deeper. I went to pee again and again. I had moments where I felt gestures or patterns of others people I know living inside me. Like patterns I got from them, that were stuck in me. My roommate appeared a lot, and also a friend from highschool.

I was going to pee again, and decided to stay close to the place where I peed. I felt a struggle between two general approaches to life. One was to ‘chill’, to observe, everything arising and passing arising and passing. The other was to play mind games I was terribly aware too. A bit like outwitting my self. My ideology told me the first way, the common spiritual way is the right way, but something in me really wanted to play the games. But the problem was I really knew the rules, and it felt futile.

I called my friend, and we spoke a bit about the feeling that I have in life of being ‘on top things’. She was offering a hidden wisdom she usually doesn't share, and I was teasing her for it. It was a lot of fun. Without noticing, and I say it in retrospect, I started to play games. But it was important that I didn't forcefully tried to play them, rather let everything take its natural course.

At this stage, being close to the ground was very soothing. I was moving from posture to posture (not in a fast way), each position being comfortable from different angle, a bit in a Feldenkrais way, but less gentle. I asked my friend to put [on] for me, I am going to marry the night by lady gaga, and enjoyed listening. After that, my friend spoke about a beloved floorwork teacher we both know, and of a song she had in one of her classes, she put it on, and I got into a more physical stage, and did some sort of dance floorwork on the grass, it felt very fluid, fun, intuitive and effortless. I was staying very close to the ground, leaning here and there, and like that, even though I felt sick and not well, I managed to do something quite fast without straining my power.

I was really enjoying being physical, which is something I have been trying to do for a very long time. It was bit different from how I conceptualize it, less like an uncontainable explosion. When I think about it now, I have a voice telling me - it wasn't enough, it couldn't be that that is what there is to life, but at the moment it was very satisfying. I wasn't enjoying but not really enjoying, rather fully enjoying. This retrospective thought pattern kept coming back during the trip, and kept being proven wrong, in the sense that moment after moment I had experiences that were really satisfying, full of joy and happiness, but then, thinking about it made me feel it wasnt enough, but in the moment of the joy and happiness I was full of joy and happiness.

After the floorwork part, I was lying down with bent knees, and then I lifted my pelvis in the air and stood on my toes, for quite some time, resonating the practice of standing meditation. My left leg was really shaking, but I felt like I could stand like this for hours. It was easy, yet satisfying. The shaking of the leg made my whole body move, and was like some sort of an inner massage. At some point it felt like not enough challenge, but again, what is enough challenge? Why did it have  to be more challenging? Why wasnt the challenge I was enjoying enough? Why did I need to make it harder? I lifted my pelvis a bit more, to raise the challenge, and it became less fun, I lowered it again, and it was fun again. I had enough at some point, and was afraid to feel like a failure when I put my pelvis down. My friend encouraged me, and it wasn’t so bad.

We spoke about my mom going to leave the city to the north, and about me having the fear that she will fail. Fear out of care. I wasn’t really aware to this.

My friend had a hot cacao with her, and I wanted to drink a bit from it. She brought it to me, but I was afraid it will interact with the acid in a bad way (cacao can make me somewhat edgy). My friend said I don’t have to worry, and that I can take my time. I am not in a hurry. I always am in a hurry. So I decided to take my time with the cacao, and to not be in a hurry. I was in a playful mode, and I played this and that.

I needed to pee again. But I was lying down, and felt like it will take me an hour to stand up. At that moment I also realized that its also nice not to pee, to withhold it. After some time I moved into sitting, and decided to continue with not peeing. I felt like the master of my mind or body, I could not pee for hours, I am like Buddha. The meditation of withholding pee. After not a very long time it suddenly became quite hard, and I wasn't on top of things. But I did not want to quit.

I played some more, and there a moment when the tension between the wanting to pee and withholding it was amazingly pleasant, ecstatic, somewhat sexual but in a weird way. I was twisting with something between laughing and crying, it was so much fun to not pee although I really needed too, the tension between those two needs or wishes was filling me with life. I laughed, I felt like I was going to explode. But I kept the pee inside. A bit like experiencing an orgasm without actually cumming.

I got into a game of standing on the ball of the foot, while resting my pelvis on the heels, and stayed there for some time. It became hard after sometime, and I added throwing my arms, which made it more challenging, but the surprising thing was, that this added challenge made it actually easier to stay like this. I was a bit baffled by this observation, and said to my friend maybe I should drink more water, to make it easier for me to keep withholding the pee. My friend brought water to me, but I was afraid to drink from it. We made a deal I wouldn’t pee for one hour (this idea came from me).

This kept going for some time. It was easy and fun to withhold from peeing, that it became harder, then I played some physical game, it was easy again, I forgot it in a sense. But this physical game was using the energy of this tension between the peeing and not peeing.

I had enough of the place we were, and we started to take a walk in the park. I had very conflicting wishes, and will all the time. Saying feeling something, then seeing the other side of it, identifying also it.  I was all the time aware to the fact, that both sides were fun. It was nice to claim something, feeling for a second I know something, than doubting it. The doubting wasn’t fun in the beginning, but then I realized that something in me also enjoys the doubting. I had a gut feeling, I didnt go with it, enjoyed it, and then found myself somewhere surprising. Hence justifying the not following the gut feeling, but at the same time I knew, that following the gut feeling, might have taken me somewhere else, I dont really know where. And there was also this feeling, that maybe that place would have been better, but at the same time, the place I was in, was enough. It was surprisingly satisfying.

I examined everything through the eyes of peeing and not peeing, this sense of having some sort of control (not peeing), but at the same time, also losing control - not just sitting and chilling, waiting for the sensations to pass and arise, rather letting this tension that the wanting to pee and not peeing created to affect me, to take me somewhere, and in this sense submitting to it, and losing control, but still keeping the pee inside, still having some sort of control.

We kept walking in the park, playing, and meeting teenagers that made me feel a bit scared. My friend asked why am I sacred, I said I am afraid that they will hit me, and that it's something from high school. I felt also that I enjoy the thought of taking risks, instead of actually taking risks, and was judgemental about it in a containing way. I told my friend, that since the teenage I want to do risky things, but am afraid. We walked in circles on a bike lane where bikes came from time to time. It felt risky, and every time a bike came I stopped. I also was a bit afraid from people coming and hitting me. The circles turned into walking in eights, echoing the dragon walking qigong I learned in Berlin, and quite hated. I felt its much more intellectual than walking in circles, and that it’s a physical way to satisfy something intellectual. We continued to walk in eights, also on a bridge, and I was teasing a bit my friend, cutting her from time to time.

Again the risk things came. We walked below the bridge to a stone deck that was a bit soaked with water. The water made it harder not to pee. We played a bit there, and then I was tired from not peeing and the sickness, but still not ready to let it go. I leaned on a wall on a wall, and then my friend gave me one grape and one cherry. It was very nice to eat them. I wasnt sure, what to eat first - the cherry or the grape. I tried this and tried this (there were a lot of grapes and cherries), and in some sense their tastes combined. I wanted to find the way to combine them perfectly, but It was hard to find out, because every cherry and grape had a different taste, so I couldn’t really base it on past experience, and had to start from the beginning again and again. It was fun. In the end my friend told me there is only two more tries left. I wanted to try to eat all the four grape and cherries together. She gave them to me, I putted everything in the mouth, but it was hard to eat and I felt I was choking, I had to spit them out. This is gluttony I told my friend, it was again, trying to make something more than it is, like adding more challenge, although it was already enough.

I made the analogy that withholding pee like I was doing in the last 1.5 hours is like doing a pirouette. You have to have some sense of control - balance, posture, but also you have to turn fast, and for that you need to lose control. Like riding the carousel - you have to hold it, to have some sense of control, but if you only resist and try to be in control you will throw up - you also have to let the turning take you. This was a nice moment because this analogy felt original, yet very me, very the way of me thinking, like something I could say also when I am not on drugs.

Holding the pee was really hard. I was afraid to feel like a failure, but my friend reminded me that when I lowered the pelvis, I didn’t really feel like a failure. It took me some time, but I decided to pee in the end. It was tragic, but I did it. It was nice to pee, but not super satisfying, it was a bit like cumming. A downer, the losing of the tension was relieving, but not wow. I was also really tired and feeling quite sick again.

I leant some more on the wall, and felt I still need to pee, I tried, but nothing came out. I told my friend, I still have imaginary pee. We went to lie on the grass, and rest. I felt really sick, like I want it to stop and go to sleep. The come down already began before, but with the grass things started to become more and more normal again.

Me and my friend had a very nice conversation. About our relationship, my disappointment from life and dancing, distinguishing between stuff. The conversation was very flowy, it didn’t feel like we are giving stuff names, to be on top on them, rather pointing to something, speculating, and moving immediately forward to the next speculation.

I had the realization there is no secret to life, besides pretending there's a secret. Deciding that something is important, makes it important, but if I don’t want to be on top of it, I have to proceed from it to the next thing, while at the same time keeping some sort of structure - like not peeing. This structure allows it to develop and unfold, but it has to constantly change and shift, otherwise I will be on top of things, I will kill them, it will become boring and depressing. Trying to have the knowledge, is like ruling a kingdom with a spy network, that is telling you, something is coming from this direction and from this and from there, instead of experiencing the invasion and turning into a different nation. I cannot keep the control, but I still need to have it, but for one moment, and then move to the next thing.

Since I understood everything can be enjoyable, and that it doesnt really matter what I do as long as I play and have some sort of tension, I also thought that all this development story of myself, that I like to tell, from intellectual to physical, is actually not a story of development, but of change of modes of play. I could actually also enjoy being intellectual now, and writing poetry. And also the next thing I do, doesn´t need to be developed from where I am, just a game I want to play. So going back to dancing, for instance, doesn´t mean going back. It means, maybe, that I want to play the game of dancing again. Like I might also want to play the game of Philosophy again.

I was a bit scared I wouldn’t be able to make anything out of it in real life. But I remembered at some point my first trip on MDMA, that changed my life completely. It took one year until my life changed from real, during it was a long process with a lot of doubts, but still I made it in the end. And what happened there, was much more ungraspable and far from me, that what happened on the acid trip.

Me and my friend also had an interesting conversation about the need to show off and to be seen, in connection to dancing. We acknowledged it, something we don’t usually do. Yes, it is fun to show off. And we spoke about the connection between this and the feeling of being a star, and if you have to feel the star in order to enjoy the showing off. We spoke about partner work, or having someone to watch you, like she did today, that allows you to show off, and you can be the star for her, without maybe being a star for outside people. But not just the witness of authentic movement, someone more interactive, that you can also tease.

I was getting more and more into reality. It was a bit sad. But I realized I am going back to where I was, not to where I were. This made it easier. Our conversation turned neurotic, but It was also fun, though in a less open way. We spoke about plans and stuff.

We headed back, ate and went to sleep.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114608

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 25

Published: Aug 4, 2020	Views: 602

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LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   79 kg

Still have not come to grips with my first LSD trip.

Took half a tab at 10:55.  Trip started at 11:25 (In 30 minutes).  There was a feeling of intensifying perception in brain....like electrifying brain waves. The sense of serenity and the state of bliss/enlightenment was so profound.  Felt God within and believe it is in each one of us. The trip was long and satisfying with deep profound insights.

The mind was racing, it felt as if the cobwebs of the mind had suddenly cleared and some always existing hidden powers of the brain unleashed.    My eyes saw the brightness increase around me and I felt the raw horsepower of my mind galloping like a stallion.  Within 2 hours of taking the tab, I felt an enhanced functioning of my brain which gave me amazing insights.

My emotions were in full control - no fear, no pain, no procrastination, no anxiety.  The entire world's wealth and power held no meaning to me as compared to the state of being that I was in.

The entire world's wealth and power held no meaning to me as compared to the state of being that I was in.

  Pure bliss and serenity.  I was consciousness itself.

I felt that I was witnessing the truth.  I felt what being naked felt like.  With no illusions of who I was, stripped of my identity with regards to religion, wealth, relationships, power, I experienced the core of who I was.  I felt that I was part of a bigger consciousness and that I was everyone else and everyone else was me.  I felt compassionate about everyone and everything and felt that it was impossible for me not to forgive anyone who had transgressed me.  Saw that people lived in enormous and unnecessary pain and suffering.  I saw the system the mortal world had created and felt that the the worldly powers that be will never ever legalize psychedelics.  For they are insecure, afraid of their position, if and when the masses see the TRUTH.

There is enhanced visual perception = normal x 100.   It was like actually opening my eyes for the first time since I was born.  I became awake.

I felt we deserve this state of enlightenment only when we have rid ourselves of pettiness, characteristic of humans.

Mere mortals reaching for the heavens.   Their audacity!  Their restlessness! Their undying curiosity!

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114643

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 42

Published: Aug 16, 2020	Views: 778

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LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), First Times (2), Unknown Context (20)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 Half hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:00
		 40 mg
		 oral
		 Oxycodone
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

Well, I had an extra 1/2 a tab leftover from a recent trip. (I plain ol' forgot to take it, I was so spaced an' happy--but that's another story to be told when I have more time).

I dropped at 5:15pm, before dinner and after a bowl of cornpops with the ideal in my mind that the acid would help me stay up all night to clean my room. Hey, possibly, just an elevated experience (seeing as I can never sleep when I have any kind of stimulant inside of me).

Mmm.. mom made spicy thai chicken, noodles, brocolli and tofu... mm.. candles...

My senses were enhanced and I didn't eat because I was hungry, I ate because the spices caught me by my nostrils and led my fork to my mouth. aaa... the candlelight was nice, and I was really feeling an elevated love between my family. It was nothing intense. These feelings hit me at about 6pm.

After dinner, I retreated to my room, put in an awesome trance cd ('euphoria, level 4'--GET IT) that I've had for awhile that I found while cleaning. I was flying just above the ground. Yeah, it was just a nice experience. I took a bath when I was what I would considor peaking at 7pm. It was paradise.. bubbles...yummi smells.. good feelings.

This lasted all night long until time started to slow down at around 11pm. ughh... my tooth hurt. I'm going to the dentist tomorrow..

So I popped half of an oxycodon. Hoping it would dull the pain, and clarify my world.

I still have have to clean my room, and I'll probably be up all night doing that... But as I was kissing my mother goodnight, a thought crossed my mind. I feel like lately, I've been coming across and taking stimulants, different kinds of 'no big deal' drugs, just to enhance some of my day in some way. I feel like maybe I could just have a bad combination of chemicals in my body, and I could just drop over and die. I considor myself pretty healthy, but recently I haven't been as healthy. I've almost been relying on my healthy past to cover up for my 'ill-behavior' with substances right now.

Damn. I smoked a bowl to go jogging, just to get higher. I never used to be like this. I hope everything can be real again. I feel like I've been going downhill in vain, and it's up to me to turn it around. Just remember. Drugs can make life meaningful. But so can life.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 11607

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 28, 2020	Views: 2,278

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Oxycodone (176), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Medical Use (47), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   210 lb

Back story: had been taking 2 tabs each weekend for the past 3 weeks and had expirimented with other drugs such as cocaine, ketamine, and xannax in-between my weekend trips. My friend had died 2 months back and I fell back into my drinking and had a lot going on with moving into an RV and felt like I was drowning with depression. I had problems with my friends and significant others after living in my buddy's driveway watching all this anger and hatred unfold during these uncertain times.

After administration:

I rode up a mountain with my girlfriend to my friends house where we normally party, drink, smoke weed, and stay up all night and it wasn't really my girlfriend's thing. After an hour or 2 I started feeling what I usually expect from acid when I take it. Colors and textures warping and changing, layers in those textures separating and changing depth. Smoked some weed ate some apples off a crossbred pear tree and had troubles swallowing the juicy yet dry pear. Sat down to watch some SpongeBob and while watching the TV the characters started to look like they were underwater even more so than they already were. Their faces and bodies stretched and moved as if looking into a pond. My friends started to get tired so we drove back to the RV and stopped at a view point looking over the town below in the valley.

I had been really into looking at the stars the past few times I had taken LSD, they'll twinkle and dance and I could almost make out old Greek astrology constellations as pictures with the glowing dots in the sky. Sometimes looking at the night sky almost looked like I was in some sort of terrarium or fish bowl with the ceiling made out of hexagons. One of my favorite stars that almost doesnt move always got my attention (visible from the Pacific Northwest in the United States between summer and autumn). Looking straight up into the sky was a bright blue star that glowed as bright as the moon and almost looked as if it was splitting into 2 different colored layers, like watching an old 3d movie without glasses. It got cold after the wind had picked up and I could hear some sort of voice in the rolling gusts on the mountain top. My body almost vibrates as though I'm having a small seizure when I do acid but it's nothing uncomfortable until I get too cold and start vibrating too hard. After warming up on the ride back I stuck my head out the window and felt the wind blow my hot face and it felt as if I could see stars appearing in the darkness and trees on the sides of the road with the road lines turning into Tron streams.

When I got home I layed in bed with my girlfriend and do what I almost always do when I trip. Watch King of The Hill. It felt a little too same old and this tab of acid was really starting to hit me, more so than the 3 weekends prior where I had done twice as much. I climbed on top of my RV and looked towards the industrial district of my town and heard all the machines and horns with the pitch getting warped the longer I heard it. I smoked some weed, lied down on my back and looked into the sky. I felt as though I was seeing galaxies away farther than any telescope I've looked through. The stars started making small tracers and changing colors at the front of the stream and my spine started vibrating. I started to think about existence and came up with the theory that the big explosion (being the big bang) had happened and time is slowed down with all these small chemical reactions being the stars, planets and things that happen on earth are all linked to this explosion. The vibrations in my spine feeling as though I was feeling the explosion more so than my sober mind. I sat cross legged and closed my eyes and I felt as though I was being showed and explained why the pyramids existed. I felt as though my body was shaped in a pyramid the way I was sitting and I could feel a sensation in my spine moving up slowly from my tail bone towards my head

I could feel a sensation in my spine moving up slowly from my tail bone towards my head

 with a droning sound in my ear that got higher pitched as it migrated. As I thought more about ancient religions and their ways of explaining consciousness I felt as though cores in my spine were releasing as the feeling traveled up. While I had my eyes closed I felt I could see myself sitting on the roof of my RV with these colors traveling up my back and when it had reached my head it felt as though I projected a beam of light out of the top of me and I was able to see something in the sky looking back at me.

After a few seconds the high pitched droning almost evened out and the vibrations in my back stopped which I had never felt before. I was still just as high but it felt as though I had tuned in my spinal vibrating to not be so noticible. I smoked a little more weed in attempt to recreate what had happened and I still had the same vibrating feeling and visuals, nothing had changed. I climbed off the roof and went inside and sat in the cockpit and watched some Xavier renegade angel. I started thinking about my friend that died and everything that had been going on in the past month. I came to the realization what I had been doing and how I had been behaving and decided to change myself.

My way of thinking had changed for the better and I have a different feeling looking up into the night sky and hope for a similar experience next time I trip.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114713

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Sep 19, 2020	Views: 645

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 1.5 g
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

From last year around August, to the time of the incident (Feb?..) I was really into LSD. I had a very reliable supplier, it was always the real stuff. Never bought a hit or two at a time, usually would get a strip or two. Of course, not all for me. For the entire time period, I'd drop maybe once every two weeks. I'd do anywhere from 3-5. Greatly enjoying it, nothing bad ever happened.

One night after work, I went to 'X''s house. I had gotten the strip of some 'Good micro dot'. I was a little worn out so I didnt want to do the normal amount. Keep in mind, I've dropped at least a few hundred times. So I decided to do 2, just to chill out and have fun and experience the experience ya know.

So, I dropped 2 and he dropped 3 around 11 or so, the normal time I drop. I'm a night tripper, never been a fan of day tripping because every time I trip in public, I feel like everyones laughing at me for some reason.

About an hour in, it started. Everything was going as it usually does with LSD. Slow melting movements, laughing historically, the normal. We decided to watch some DBZ  for a few hours. Smoke some bud, do the normal. But then things got... Dark.

Fast.

I disconnected from the tv show and just started exploring my mind. Then something happened. Ill never be able to explain this.. Please, from here on out keep your mind open to what happened, no matter how crazy I'm about to sound. This happened. From my perspective, none of this is fictional. This was all too real to me. And to X.

It was around 1 or 2 a.m. The trip stopped. No come down, no falling asleep, it just. Stopped. The movement stopped. I felt sober. I felt like myself, I wasnt disoriented. We both looked at each other in complete confusion. What happened? We both asked that. I just went along with it and said 'Well that was a nice trip man, I'm gonna go to the restroom'. I go upstairs and like. The trip was just over. Just like that. I went back downstairs, and here begins the horror.

I was sitting on the couch, and he said 'I have something to show you'. He plays an episode of DBZ. It began, and it glitched out kind of. The title screen said the episode was called 'Mistakes of last night'. I was utterly confused.

I was utterly confused.

 He looked at me, as if he knew something I didn't know. The episode played, and full force, I was flung back into the trip. Like I've been punched with a psychedelic fist of intense power. The episode included a fight between Freeza and Goku.

That night, I was being tested. Something else was with us. Something evil. Something communicating through the tv, DBZ, and controlling X. X wasn't himself. The whole time, I felt like he was in on it. Of course, the entity couldnt cause physical harm to me, so perhaps he used a host? This guy is about 2 or 3 hundred more pounds than me. He is a big guy. I got up to go get some water. I was nervous and very scared. He was in my way and asked where I was going. I didnt answer, and he looked like he was going to hit me so I put up my fists, kind of, just in case so I could defend myself.

He swung at me, knocking me on my bed. Got on top of me and started to beat the fuck out of me. He got up and apologized, I apologized as well. I decided to stay down there with him. Then came the tests. In DBZ, Goku, represented life. Freeza, represented death.

The clock read 4:00A.M.

Every time I would make a mistake, Everything would replay. The episode would go backwards, me and him would both go in reverse. And the clock would reset to 4.

I know I know, ridiculous. Just, keep hearing me out.

Every time my will to live fell short, Freeza would get the upper hand on goku, and X would freak out and continue to hurt me. I was being tested. I was being punished. I let out all of my emotions and started crying, deeply. He got really emotional and I hugged him and he said it was okay, everything will be okay. Some blurry things happened, I dont recall it, but I had to endure ever bad feeling. The test was to endure it and prove that I had the will to survive. I threw up on his carpet, so I went to clean it up. Out of courtesy, I went to go to his laundry room (inside of his basement, where we were) to go wash it. I get in there, and he starts pounding the door. I rush to get it in there. The door slams open, and he's grabbing me pulling me back, punching me, my blood all over the wash dial for the washing machine. He threw me down and started to choke me with a pillow. I slowly slipped away, but I had to live. I had to prove to this entity that I wanted my life. In my mind, I could hear him mocking me. The entity. Telling me I'm unworthy of my life.

I was suffocated, punched relentlessly, had the air sucked out of me, had intense pressure built up inside, I was about as close to death as you can get without dying. I was screaming 'He's trying to kill me, help'. At the top of my lungs, over and over. Finally I got up, broke his pipe that was in there to defend myself against him. Finally I slip free of his grip.

I walked out into the basement room, lost all of my energy, and fainted. I then began to go into a seizure. Every part of my body shaking violently without control. I woke up in the ambulance. They told me if they hadn't gotten there sooner, I would have died from blood loss. They estimated that I had a good 15 minutes until I could have lost my life.  I was there. I was at the edge. I slipped away momentarily while being choked on the floor, reaching for something to grab, something to just help me get a breath of air.

Some details that I left out because I'm not sure when it happened on the time line; I spilled a full cup of water on myself. The entity told me I had to go through complete embarrassment. I had to. To prove I could live. I got completely naked. Why ? For the above reason. The entity told me I had to be completely embarresed, to learn a lesson. More or less, I also did it so maybe he would stop trying to kill me. So he'd feel to disgusted to touch me. I cried and cried, yelling everything I regret in life.

Anyways

I havent touched LSD since. I never will. Ever.

Thank you for reading.

It was really hard typing this out...

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106031

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Sep 22, 2020	Views: 1,460

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Entities / Beings (37), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 2:00
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (gel tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   120 lb

Last night, September 19, 2006. I took one ecstasy and about 30 to 40 minutes later, I began to feel an incredible full body buzzing. I started to notice that I was talking way louder then I should've been, and began talking consistently. Approximately 2 hours later I took half a hit of acid (in form of a gel tab). Around 20 minutes after that I began to feel the effects of the acid, I was WIDE AWAKE and desired - no I needed and craved the company of other people. Then, I began to smoke weed I had a rough estimation of about 6 bowls. The combination of these 3 drugs was absolute bliss, heavenly orgasmic. Honestly there's no way I can possibly explain fully into words the effects that occured in my body last night. I could fully feel the different effects of the three drugs as if I had three completely different bodies. For instance, my foot falls asleep and is extremely tingly, my arm just feels dead and doesn't want to move at all, my heart is racing at an unbelievable speed and I am fully aware of all three feelings and where they are coming from.

As my night went on, around the time of my 5th bowl, my trip turned into an all together spirtual enlightenment. I was in my boyfriends room with him, his sister, and his mother smoking a bowl. During this time, we began discusing religion (how we came to this topic I don't remember, but we did) Something his mother said during the conversation drove me into a deep thought. I apparently zoned out lost in my thoughts however, I was still fully aware of the conversation being held and it was adding and creating fuller thoughts as if fueling my thoughts keeping them active. I was told that I had commented on occasion as well, but I don't remember that either.

After his mother and his sister went upstairs for the night, my boyfriend decided to acquire as to what I'd been thinking about so entently. So, I took a few deep breaths and dove into conversation with him about the universe and religion. Last night, was the best trip I've ever had and most likely will ever have. Before I fell asleep I had finally become complete and one with myself and everything around me. Now that I'm awake and the drugs have completely worn off, I still feel as if I've lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and I'm free at last.

I never want to experience either of the two harder drugs without the other, ever again. As my boyfriend said, ' I just want them to join together in harmony and make sweet chemical love within my body.'

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56147

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 29, 2020	Views: 692

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LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Combinations (3), Unknown Context (20)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 capsl
		 oral
		 4-HO-MET
		 (capsule)

		   T+ 0:00
		 300 ug
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:30
		 1 hit
		 vaporized
		 2-Fluorodeschloroketamine

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   180 lb

[Erowid Note:
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]

I'll start this off with my previous experience with psychedelics. I have done Lsd, shrooms, hbwr seeds, and some light disso use. I've done lsd many times before and the highest dose I had ever done was 1200ug(closer to 1000 due to tabs likely being lighter and a little tolerance). I've done shrooms one time at around 4-5 grams and that was very difficult but thats a story for another time. Hbwr was nothing notable and my disso use was very limited. This was my first experience with 4-ho-met.

My plan when going into this trip was to take the lsd and the 4-ho-met at the same time, and before I started to peak was planning on vaping some deschloroketamine(I found out later that this was 2-fdck so I would have felt little to no effects). I had no real deep purpose going into this trip besides wanting to have a crazy trip.

I had a problem with my scale however. Anytime I would put the powder onto the scale the reading would go crazy and not have even a somewhat accurate reading. I so f**k it and fill a size 00e capsule a little less than a quarter of the way full. I hadn't the slightest clue of how much I took at the time. I got a new scale after this trip and I'm guessing the dose was at least 50-60 mg but that is a conservative estimate.

THE TRIP!

9:45 - I ingest the pill and I put the tab under my tongue. I started my stopwatch and take a shower.

10:15 - I come back to my room and realize how messy it is. I hate tripping with a messy room because it messes with my vibe so I start to pick things up and put them out of sight till my floor seems appealing. I'm starting to become more and more confused. I pick up my vape with the "dck" in it and I take one hit and try to take another. I didn't have it in me to take another because of how intense the headspace was getting. I set my vape down and lay down. I'm sweating, cold, and feel nauseous. I'm starting to see the most intricate and intense visuals I've ever seen in my life.

There are no more time stamps because the time dilation was so pronounced and I'm sure I couldn't read it if I tried.

I'm laying down and starting to really really feel it. I felt similar to how I did on mushrooms by playing with my hands and reaching my arm in the air for minutes at a time. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm fine. I'm laughing and I'm doing all I can to keep the trip light. I was trying to submit but I didn't even know how to do that. This next part of my trip gave me chills 24 hours later when I remembered it. I had red led's in my room and I felt like a being was digging into my brain. Not physically, but how psychedelics can drill into the inner self. I'm seeing what can only be described as some sort of psychedelic carnival. It was very bright and colorful and again intricate. My mind starts to focus on a girl. She is drawn in black and white in contrast to the sea of visuals. She is curled up in a ball shaking and I sense that she was on mushrooms. My mind felt like it was circling around her and I see her face. And it was a horrific smile. One that you would see in a bad horror movie. The smile was drawn on her as well but it was stretching past her face. I had this strong feeling that I was the girl at the end of the visual. This ended and I tried my hardest to turn the red LEDs off. I eventually did after fiddling with it for a little.

I face my ceiling with the intention of riding it out like most of my trips. My walls in my peripheral vision start to fade away and so do the colors for a brief while. I was stuck in some place I never want to go back to, there was nothing and I was nothing. I felt alone and scared, I was panicking hard and somehow came back to my body in my room. I was then tossing and turning for what felt like hours upon hours. I felt like the trip would never end and I would be tripping in public the next day.

I start to feel more associated with my ego and realize I had to use the bathroom. My visuals are still going strong but I can still see. I was in the bathroom as quick as I possibly could have been in there. I come back to my room feeling fatigued as hell. I look at my stopwatch and only an hour and 45 minutes had passed since I took everything. My heart sank and I felt like it was just about to start again and I started to anticipate another wave of terror. But it never came. I was just scrolling through my phone happy as ever. I fell asleep from the fatigue in about an hour and woke up feeling almost normal.

I was very confused about the acid because I knew for a fact I didn't have bunk tabs. And I fell asleep after maybe 3 hours. It was very weird but I chalked it up to the fatigue from the 4-ho. Moral of the story is I shouldn't ever eyeball drugs. Especially super potent psychedelics.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114883

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 16

Published: Oct 19, 2020	Views: 1,745

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4-HO-MET (436), LSD (2), OBE (332) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Hangover / Days After (46), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 1.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   120 lb

This was my first time doing LSD which proved to be much more then I ever could of imagined. My friend 'L' and I had been looking for Acid in our small town for quite awhile with no luck, then one day he surprised me with some. At the time we hadnt done much psychedelics besides maybe about 10-15 mushroom trips and we thought Acid wouldnt be anything too big if we only took one and a half hits. There was the first valuable lesson learned ALWAYS KNOW YOUR EXACT DOSE!

Anyways we dropped the cid and after about an hour or so I went on a short walk to go pick up some weed. I was starting to get high by now and as I walked down the main street of my town everyone was staring at me, this was a bit unnerving but as I had a  mowhawk I was kinda used to it (as I used to live in a painfully small town) anyways as I was sitting waiting for the dealer the cement started to crack and fracture, I thought this is pretty cool but I've had more intense mushroom trips, Then I looked at my arm and my arm hairs started to move as if they were swaying in the tides of some water, my arms skin started to resemble a pineapples.  I thought hmm thats pretty interesting...

After awhile it seemed the dealer wasnt showing up which was incredibly peculiar as we were buying an ounce. I went back to another friends house where L and some others were waiting for us.  L was by now quite high, moreso then me. We sat down and started to smoke some other pot we had. There were about 8 of us in the room but only the two of us were on Acid.

After a few bong tokes EVERYTHING changed. I instantly became 100 times higher and everything became a hallucination, the walls were bright neon green and I was in a very different house, all of my friends turned into demons and yet I could still recognize each one somewhat even though they were totally red and looked totally different. I'm sure they were not saying what I thought they were, but I cant remember what that was, except when I said 'you guys all look like demons but its not scary'.  They laughed a bit and one of my friends said well dont worry we arent going to hurt you.

Soon that went away and it seemed I was telepathically linked with my friend who was also on acid, I thought If you can hear my thoughts then say something

it seemed I was telepathically linked with my friend who was also on acid, I thought If you can hear my thoughts then say something

 with your mouth. He did and we told our friends. I'm not sure what they thought as having a linear discussion with others was impossible. This is when the trip started to go very bad. I had visions of my friends being older and very strong looking, one of them was a crack dealer and had a gun and seemed to be holding my other friends hostage if I didnt deliver a backpack full of drugs somewhere. I was no doubt scared and when I asked them where I should take it nobody had any clue what I was talking about. By this point I had forgotten I was high on acid, which is how things go very wrong. After some calming down or maybe I had just forgotten I sat back down. Everything was relatively normal as the trip comes in waves, I remember thinking I didnt think acid was this trippy. As if he heard my thoughts one of my friends looked at me and said, no acid is just this trippy.

I'm not sure about the chronological order of any of this but I remember sitting there and in the blink of an eye I was out of my body, not aware of any physical form, and I got the sense of some kind of being, almost bureaucratic in nature saying something like, we got another one give him the standard treatment. (though with no words or mouth) Then without any kind of words I was flooded with more information then I knew existed, and I understood the nature of the universe, all I remember 'seeing' was a glowing blue ball of energy that is everything, and I saw the interconnectedness of the universal mind and the multidimensional system of reality. I remember thinking fuck how can I live my life knowing all of physical reality is an illusion. Then just like that I was back and everything was as normal as possible. One of my friends asked me so whats it like (as it seems no time had passed) I thought fuck he wants me to explain this!? I think I must of just gave him a funny look and made a strange grunt of some kind. Shortly after my friend 'L' and I decided we should leave as the 'normies' were making me and probably him feel uncomfortable.

I remember walking down the street and seeing this Green praying mantis type creature about as tall as a human on somebodies lawn, It said something in a way I cant pronounce somewhat like the static of a TV. By now I was unable to function in reality and decided that I should go home. I went home and crawled into bed where after going into time loops (time kept repeating itself after a 3 second or so loop)   which for some reason (or rather lack of reason) I thought I could escape by spinning in circles. After experiencing a new definition of the word twisted, turning to liquid and actually twisting with the syntrifical force. I lied down in bed where I was cut into cubes, I could feel the inside faces of each piece rubbing against each other. Floating apart and then I formed back together. I was speared through the chest and leg, then fine. Then I was taken apart and put back together. I most likely left my body again but I dont remember this part clearly. I remember many strange thoughts about the insanity of god, and that he was addicted to heroin, and or the physical reality. Looking back I suspect this was me in my past life.  Anyways this was a realization to me that god does exist in a way I couldnt possibly deny, as this was by far the most intense and powerful experience of my life, and the most important as I went overnight as complete and total atheist, to KNOWING god exists in a way that I could never explain here. It was beautiful and horrific simultaneously.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 46674

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 27, 2020	Views: 633

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LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 20 mg

		 Amphetamines

		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated

		 Cocaine

		   repeated
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine
		 (liquid)

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   210 lb

It was two day ago. Halloween night. I had worn my costume to work that day. A bucket cap, light, large avaitor sunglasses, a green Hawaiian-print shirt, and retro seventies-style bleached white pair of khaki shorts, topped off with a cigarette holder compiled the necessary components to my costume. I was dressed as Hunter S. Thompson.

My work day ended at 5:00 PM on that 31 or October. I ate the Acid that I had aquired prior to that day. Two days ago to be exact. I bought it from my friend 'Keef.' He had noted to me that It was strong. I wish I knew what I was up for.

The previous time that I had taken acid was over three years ago. It was the last day of class and my friend S had precured it. It was no where newar a quarter the strength of this stuff.

Well, I took the tab in my car at my office parking lot. I then drove an hour to my friend 'keef's' place. There I sat as my world changed. My ego was stripped of everything I knew of myself. For that night I was to be Gonzo.

My friend 'Steve' got off work at 9:00 PM. He was costumed as a thug from A Clockwork Orange. He helped my through the come-up. I was slowly transformed into my new life over two hours. After the adderall earlier in the day, the cocaine a few minutes ago, the pot at the same time as the coke, the acid, and the beers, I was feeling good. I was to search for the American Dream. Whether or not I found it was not the issue. For damn sure I was going to try, though.

Ten o' clock cam around and I was finished peaking. The racing thoughts had become manageable and the visuals did not consume all of my vision. We set course for our favorite bar. He drove. We arrive at a parking lot, but it was full. I convinced him to park at my previous plave of employment, the local bicycle shop. We started the three-block journey to the bar. My visuals were surging again, as I passed people dressed as monsters, and even scarier, current politicains.

'Hunter,' they said. 'Where is your attourney?'

'Dr. Gonzo?' I questioned. He left town at the last minute. 'Steve' was supposed to be him. He abandoned the idea at the last minute. Whatever. He was my sober babysitter. He was my connection to reality.

We arrived at the bar. The bouncer asked for my ID. I told him 'I don't know what that is exactly.' I accused him of mocking me. 'Steve' had my provisions and have my ID to the bouncer for me. He let me in under the conditions that I made no trouble. I couldn't promise anything.

The bar was filled with characters. No one of importance, though. No one took the spirit of Halloween as seriously as myself. Hoaaloween is about valuing those who we admire and who have fallen. Not the spirits of those whom are alive.

We find seating at the bar. 'An Octoberfest,' I demanded the bartender. She was dressed like a man. I knew her, but not tonight. More people were mocking me. Their distorted faces were melting and distoring. Their voices morphed and illusive.

The live music started. A rock band. True rock-and-roll. Four local guys dressed like indians. All rocking tight as Hell. I jammed for the whole hour.

Smoking cigarettes was fun. So much so that I smoked a whole pack of them. Twice. I met so many people that I knew but couldn't recognize. I talked in character all night. I no longer existed. I was Dr. Thimpson that night.

People were making shout-outs like I cared. I only wanted strong drink. The hallucinations made communication difficult. I was in my own world.

The night ended with a trip back to 'Keef's' place. After anouther gram of cocaine, I smoked 5 more bowls. Nothing phased me. The acid still had the dominant hold on my psyche. It wasn't until 5:00 AM that I could fall asleep. I slept untul 9:00 AM feeling refreshed and rejuvilized.

That night I had found the true meaning of halloween. Not to be funny, have the best costume, or try to get laid by a hot girl in a slut costume, but to find myself as someone else. To act out my wildest fantacies. To wear the ego of another. I had the best time of my life that night.

If I could, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 74781

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 30, 2020	Views: 903

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LSD (2), Alcohol - Beer/Wine (199) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Club / Bar (25)