		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 oral
		 Alcohol

		   T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

Difficult 1st Experience With LSD

I would like to start out stating that my writing skills could use some work so please bear with me through my story about my first LSD experience. I hope that it may persuade others to not ignore set &amp; setting as I did.

As much as I now wish I would have written this down when I had more of the pieces still in my head to recall, I'm writing this 5 days after my first experience with LSD. I will start off by saying that I didn't have any intention of trying it for the first time at a small music festival after getting a good alcohol buzz going, but that is how it worked out. My previous experience with psychedelics is limited to three .5g doses of some (by what others said) fairly potent mushrooms and that is it. So basically I had micro dosed mushrooms before this and that is all. I have become interested in psychedelics mainly for self improvement, not so much for recreation.

Me and my wife showed up to the festival (at a small lake outside of town) about 6PM with a few beers, a jar of apple pie moonshine, some good bud, and a couple of sleeping bags (we decided to just post up in the van when the night was over). I am by nature a little anxious especially around people I do not know, so the first thing I did when I parked the van was grab the apple pie and take a few sips to calm the nerves. We were a little late so the first band had already started playing so I grabbed a beer and we walked on up by the stage. A few bands and a few beers later (6 maybe?) it was good and dark and the final band was about to go up which was supposed to be really good. It turns out after just 6 beers I was feeling loose enough to think that trying LSD at 9pm around a bunch of strangers was a great idea!

It turns out after just 6 beers I was feeling loose enough to think that trying LSD at 9pm around a bunch of strangers was a great idea!

 So I took 1/2 a hit (they were supposed to be 100ug), and went back up by the stage. The final band was setup and had started playing, over the next hour I didn't notice much of anything besides the music was amazing and I was having a blast.

About 10:30 or so the music was done and it was time for socializing around the fire. My wife's brother was there and I spent most of the night hanging around him and his friends, he took one hit of LSD, and also two supposed 'mushroom pills', he has much much more experience with these things than I do. So I find myself sitting on a cooler noticing how the Toyota Camry parked in front of me was getting pretty 'fuzzy', but nothing else had changed visually, and I didn't feel any head change.

At this point I decided to take the other half, not thinking about how long this was going to last. Fast forward to 1am, the car is even fuzzier but other than that nothing much has changed, at this point I start thinking that this must not be LSD, but I had never had it so I didn't know.

Getting bored with the ordeal I decided to smoke a little herb to liven things up a bit. Three decent pulls later I noticed that if I shut my eyes I'm seeing patterns, first time for that, it was exciting and a little scary at the same time. I was expecting quite a head change this far into an LSD trip but I honestly felt quite sober and was still left with a fuzzy Camry to stare at. About 3am it was getting cold and the wind had picked up, and my 'fun meter' was pretty much bottomed out, I just wanted to call it a night.

At this point I decided to try and lay down in the back of the van with the wife and get some sleep knowing that it probably wouldn't happen, but I had to try. I got into my sleeping bag, closed my eyes, and started to try and enjoy the visuals. About 2 minutes into the visuals they fairly quickly faded into the deepest black I have ever 'seen' and for a moment I felt so peaceful like everything was perfect at that point in time. Unfortunately it was only a second after this feeling that I for some reason thought I was dying or something and went into panic mode. I opened my eyes just to find that I still couldn't see anything, little did I know my face was covered by the sleeping bag (yes please laugh, even in panic mode I chuckled inside a bit when I realized what was happening). So the panic got worse, I figured out the sleeping bag issue, I sat up and thought 'I have to get the hell out of this van now!', so I did.

I stood outside the van looking around and pacing for a couple of minutes trying to get control of myself. While I never completely shook that feeling that night, I did manage to get back over to where my brother in law was, luckily they were cracking jokes and being positive which helped me get through the next couple of hours. Somewhere in there I noticed that the logs in the fire had hieroglyphics on them, which at this point I really didn't want to see, I just wanted it to be over with. I sat silently for the next hour or so with the feeling that I am one thread away from loosing my sanity and around this time my brother in law was talking about calling it a night and I was thinking this dude is keeping me sane, this is going to get more difficult. By some strike of luck the wife woke up and of course wondered where in the hell I was, so she showed up and I was relieved.

We went back to the van and I explained to her that I really need her to stay up with me because I feel like I'm on the edge of loosing it. I was in a state of fear/panic and I had no reason to feel that way, which was the worst part about it. The whole night I had been thinking please just let the sun come up, if the sun comes up I will be fine, then the sun came up and I changed my mind. I still had the 'crazy' thoughts and now I had tree limbs moving not steadily in the wind together, but moving in different directions in a jerky, point a to point b instantly motion back and fourth, I did my best to enjoy it but with my state of mind I found it if anything slightly disturbing. It also looked as though the sun was coming up from the east and the west at the same time which I will admit was quite fascinating. The clouds were flowing in waves like an upside down ocean, the color of the sky in the west felt so alien like this color has a direct tie into my nervous system and makes me believe something bad is happening over that way, like there is no more world beyond this 'wall of color'. After about an hour of the sun being up I calmed down enough that we decided to head home (the wife drove of course).

Leaving the lake was quite a good feeling, as though I thought that was all that was left and I wasn't sure that I would see 'the world' again. By the time we got to the house I still had a bit of worry that I would be stuck with  some amount of constant panic as it was still there, just not near as bad. Walking up to the house I noticed how green the fresh vegetation was, and how everything just looked over saturated and beautiful. I headed inside but quickly turned around because I wanted to enjoy something about this ordeal, at this time I was very much enjoying being outside.

I wanted to enjoy something about this ordeal, at this time I was very much enjoying being outside.

It did take a couple of days to shake the 'residual' feelings I had going on during the trip, especially while trying to go to sleep, or smoking some bud. As of now, 5 days later, I would say I feel pretty normal and thankful for that. Now I just wish I wouldn't have panicked and went with the strangeness, I'm quite curious what was behind that door that I ran away from.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111862

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 31

Published: May 1, 2018	Views: 1,923

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LSD (2) : Large Party (54), Nature / Outdoors (23), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 2:00
		 250 mg
		 oral
		 Smarts - Phenibut

		   T+ 5:30
		 2 hits
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 6:00
		 1 g
		 oral
		 Smarts - Phenibut

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   62 kg

I was together with my boyfriend when we decided to give LSD another go. Our first time together, which for me was the first experience of a psychoactive substance ever, turned into a nightmare. Three months have passed and we felt like we were ready to do it once more. Only this time we agreed that we should do it separately and tripsit each other, in order not to get hurt, and to comfort each other if the trip was to become terrifying again.

We both had per 1 hit of LSD, 175-180 micrograms each. We had some weed around, which was a really strong kind. I also had some phenibut lying around, because I read that it might make a trip more bearable.

I think that I should probably first describe my boyfriend's experience, for it was crucial for my own. Until a certain point everything was absolutely fine: we were talking, music was playing, every other hour I took him out to the balcony. Then, about 4 hours into his trip, it happened. I said something about my tummy being feeling kinda full, even though I literally ate nothing for a whole day straight. Then my bf said something about the trip overwhelming him, then – about how scary it would be for smth to happen to me while he was wasted like that. He lost himself the very next moment. I would talk to him for an hour straight, he would only remotely remember that he was having acid. He repeated my name, his name. When I told him our address and stuff that happened before he took the hit, he would say that 'it all makes so much sense'. Then he would lose himself again. Music and talking never helped. In about an hour and a half I gave him 500 mg phenibut, in another 30 minutes he was 'back'. We both had a smoke of weed this time, about 0.1 g for each of us. It helped him to fall asleep, and he did not experience further visual stimulation.

The next day was pretty tiring. We had a long walk with his friends, my bf had his first tattoo done. We got home at about 8 pm, and I took my hit, about an hour later than my boyfriend did the day before. He was very tired (only had like 2 hours of sleep the night before), yet he managed to stay with me till the end.

The acid kicked in about 2 hours after the intake. We decided I would take 0.250 g phenibut before the peak and another 0.5 if I would trip way too hard.

The acid kicked in about 2 hours after the intake. We decided I would take 0.250 g phenibut before the peak and another 0.5 if I would trip way too hard.

 At that point I only got those 0.25. I saw happy patterns and glitter all over my ceiling, we were listening to some cool chill music. My boyfriend was ever so loving and gentle, he would give me water, he would talk to me, hold me. We even had sex, the best sex we ever had. The trip was bomb. It was about 5,5 hours since my intake. I almost felt sober already. We thought that it was over and that we could go and sleep. We had some weed ( I had about 2 sips, overall it was about 0.2 in total), so that I would be able to sleep.

* * *

Then I think it happened. It slowly took over me. When I think about it now, I can tell that the visual hallucinations have become like 20 times more intense, though I couldn't realize it back then. About 10 min after I had a smoke, out of nowhere, I felt this thought of pure enlightenment. Like I have discovered the the ultimate Truth of the Existence. I felt this urge to tell it, to film it. I still have it filmed. Sounds like pure nonsense now, I could not put it into words. I still remember it though. It was the RGB spectrum being connected to the space/time continuum. The Red on the spectrum was like the starting point, the Big Bang, then it got cooler around the epicenter, turning into Green, then into Blue. The closer one gets to the Big Bang, the more mentally (philosophically) primitive one becomes, which felt like back in history, way back to the ancient Egyptians, apes, dinosaurs, quarks. Pure Red meant birth of thought itself. On the opposite, the closer one comes to Blue, the more advanced one becomes as a consciousness through philosophical and empirical development. The more Blue one becomes, the more aware one becomes of the way things work in the universe and in the human mind. Pure Blue equals death of all life in the universe, then everything would go backwards in 'time/space' to Red, explode and live again.

At the same time I had another thought in my head which purely described relationships between people: you are one with your loved when you both are Red. Big Bang happens. Then their voice splits from yours, then their body splits from yours, then you drift away from each other, and you become more of 'yourself' (as in 'you= thou') and less aware of you two together, of 'us'. When you reach Blue you are in pure 'solitude', and you seek warmth, so you go back into the state of Red.

To put it into words: I have completely lost the aspect of time and space. It became like a 3d dimension of RGB gradients, and I would fly inside it, getting closer and closer to Red. Probably in my head I thought that me and my bf as a whole were at yellowish green of mind development and relationships, but I decided to 'go back to Red'.

* * *

My bf didn't realize that I had this fucking revelation, so he tried to make me sleep. I couldn't. Inside my head there was nothing. There was me, him, I saw him move, have a drink. It was about 30 minutes after I had weed. Then I guess my body started waking up, but my MIND was yet in this state of nothing, and I as a person went into the pure state of insane. I woke up. I didn't know who I was. Where I was. Who I was with. I could only remember only this moment inside my room. I could remember my bf's face, I knew who he was, but I did not recognize him. He talked to me. Told me over and over who I was. Who he was. Where we were. I ran around. I screamed. He slapped me in the face. He put me in the bathtub. He poured water on me. Cold. Then I woke up for a fraction of a second. Then I lost it again.

The only 'dimension' I knew and felt was Sound, so I tried to shout, to make something different. I ran around the flat. Yelled, broke the shower curtain. I begged my bf to turn the music on, and so he did. But I could not hear it, I could only hear his voice and my own screams. I felt like I was caught in a loop. I tried to get out. I felt like the whole Existence was me screaming in the bathtub. I wanted to be at peace, wanted to fall asleep. But I couldn't. It was wet and cold. I felt like I would never fall asleep again.

At the peak of my madness I remembered my previous trip. I thought that I was still there. But I started to realize that now it was different. My bf didn't have a tattoo then. I grabbed him by the hand where the tattoo was (it was covered with medical cloth and tape). He said he was in pain. I was scared to ruin the tattoo. I lost it again. I was screaming, running, hurting him. I reaped his clothes. I almost strangled him.

As I learned later, during these 2 hours of madness he gave me more phenibut. 1 gram total. I slowly regained myself. I was scared, terrified of the mere thought that I hurt him again. I slowly started remembering facts about myself. Like that I smoked cigarettes. And that I had a job. That I had a dog (who was running around this whole time). We went to the balcony again. I saw my boyfriend's face. He looked terrified. I never saw him cry before. I think he did, while I was still 'there'. I felt such pain and guilt. I now realize that I was not to be blamed. But it kills me to even think that it was his fault. It probably was.

It has been 21 hours since I took the hit. I am myself. I am at peace. I'd probably like the experience if I didn't hurt anyone. I do not think that I will try anything this strong ever again. Or will I? I can't say for sure. The only thing I know right now is that I would not mind trying to enter the Void one more time, so that I would be able to meet the Red again.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110488

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 21

Published: May 5, 2018	Views: 2,379

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Guides / Sitters (39), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 shots
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 1:30
		 1 bump
		 insufflated
		 Ketamine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 3:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:30
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 6:30

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   65 kg

I’m a guitarist, singer, cook, psychonaut, autodidact, reflective, caring type with a history of violence, abuse, depression, therapy and drug abuse. I drink occasionally, don’t really have much tolerance to alcohol. I’ve been smoking cannabis at least three spliffs almost every day for the past nine years, with an occasional period of three to five grams a day. I took 2c-b once in my life. Eight years ago I had a period of MDMA abuse. Seven years ago I had a period of benzodiazepine abuse. Then I used 2c-e three times. From 2015 to 2016 I was on Aripiprazole for Autism Spectrum Disorder and paranoia. I have taken shrooms many times and done doses ranging up to 100 grams of fresh mushrooms. I have no prior experience with Ketamine or LSD.

I have been interested in LSD for a long time already. I was hoping they would do what shrooms never could: teach me something that doesn’t sound laughable the next day or have what I learned fade away with time. So I looked at It’s pharmacology, talked about it with many psychonauts, read up on other peoples trip reports and what effects it can have on websites. Ketamine I know a thing or two about, but never looked into the pharmacology of it.

March 25th 2017

T- 8:00; Full of confidence and joy I take two shots of Jägermeister and wash it down with some apple cider.  After a while I feel buzzed, bordering to tipsy. I pack my tripping foods, drinks and gear.

T- 2:30; I smoke a really nice spliff with Amnesia Haze on the way at the station.

T- 0:30; Finally arriving at the venue, the four hour travel time had somewhat taken its toll so I was a little tired. I head over to the tiny “stoner house”, where one is allowed to do drugs. I prepare my metal party bong, stick the rest of the earlier half-smoked spliff in the bong, toke up and roll another two spliffs. I put all the spliffs in my jacket pocket, take the stuff from my bag I need throughout the night, smoke the rest of the spliff and head inside to drop my bag and jacket off at the cloakroom. I came here to have fun and dance and the cannabis makes me feel mellow enough to start dancing in the middle of a still almost empty venue, without feeling embarrassed.

T- 0:15; After about an hour of dancing, a friend I met a couple raves before comes up to me and gives me a great bro hug. I ask him if he has some xtc for me. He gives me an xtc pill for free and tells me it’s great MDMA, tested at ~250mg.

T+ 0:00; It’s 11:00pm when I walk over to the bar and have myself some electrolyte drink to swallow the xtc. I feel excited and energetic with no trace of nerves.

T+ 0:30; After dancing for half an hour I get tired. I wish I had some speed. I head over to the stoner house to give my feet a rest and smoke a spliff. I end up in a conversation with a really cute couple.

T+ 0:40 (+); As I'm talking to her the first effects start to come on. My hands get a little clammy, my heart rate increases and I steadily feel the euphoria and energy set in.

T+ 0:50 (++); I tell my new friend that the xtc is really starting to feel good and I head inside to go for a dance. Full of energy, empathy and euphoria I head to the dance floor and start dancing really intensively.

T+ 1:10 (+++); I’m getting too warm and a little nauseous and my feet hurt. I open the zipper of my thin jacket and walk outside for a bit to cool off. I remember I have a piece of spliff left in my bong so I go back to the stoner house and smoke it. It feels very cold so I head back towards the club. On the way there I walk in to a couple stoner looking guys with dreadlocks. They’re talking about LSD so I join the conversation and after a fun talk about tripping proceed to ask if he wants to sell me two hits. He says he likes me and sells me 2 hits for 15 bucks instead of the usual 20 ‘because it is my first time’. He tells me they are 125 μg blotters that give a really clean but strong trip. Then I head back inside.

T+ 1:30 (+++); I walk into a group of guys, of which I knew two, and we start talking about psychedelics. One of them pulls out a little zip lock with white powder. Thinking it’s speed I ask for a small bump. The baggy and the key go round and before it ends up in my hands someone mentions it’s Ketamine, not speed. I tell them I’ve been interested in trying it out. The baggy finally ends up in my hands. At this point the anticipation is very strong. My heart beat is racing from excitement being used to the speed rush. I snort a bump off a key and I’m surprised at how smooth it goes down: No nasty aftertaste, no sharp pain in my nose and most of all, no almost instant and obvious effect like speed.

T+ 2:00 (+++); The nausea and overheating have completely disappeared. I feel super relaxed and my heart rate calms down. Trippy rotating light visualizations projected on the walls are starting to look more vibrant. Sounds seem like they have an additional dimension to vibrate in and the euphoria is running strong. I tell the group I’m really digging this stuff. I thank them deeply and we all hug it out.

T+ 2:30 (++); The effects of the MDMA are clearly starting to diminish. The empathy fades first, then the euphoria and I still have six and a half hours of partying to go before the first bus. I start to contemplate taking a hit of acid.

T+ 3:00 (++) I decide to take the first hit of LSD. After keeping it under my tongue for a good half hour I wash it down with some water.

T+ 4:00 (+) The first signs of the acid are showing themselves. Light effects are getting more vibrant, euphoria is steadily returning and I feet incredibly energetic.

T+ 4:30 (++); I really liked the effects of LSD so far. It feels to me like all the good feelings when on  MDMA, but none of the side effects. Combined with a fuzziness to everything, brighter colours and slight tracer effects. So it also reminds me of strong shroom trips. But having had really intense 2c-e and mushroom trips, I’m expecting a lot more at this point. While going to the bathroom I decide to drop the second hit too.

T+ 5:00 (+++); The repetitive nature of deep psychedelic trance and according lighting is breaking down into fractals in my head. Geometric patterns are all over my vision. In the rotating light show on the wall I see a three dimensional picture of myself looking down on myself etc. My thoughts speed up and visualize themselves as a four dimensional snake. The snake eat it’s own tail to form an Ouroboros. I think of my last date and find myself turned on. The intense horny feeling spreads through my body like a wave of heat. I stretch myself out with my arms straight up. My body feels like it’s buzzing with electricity. All my senses are tingling. It is one of the most pleasant body highs that I have ever experienced.

T+ 5:15 (++++); I start peaking. The Ouroboros itself starts to spin and as I look around me I feel a sense of connectedness. What I experienced next I can only describe as a collective consciousness experience. It feels like everyone in the crowd was sharing the same feelings, thoughts and perception. The Ouroboros tightens like a knot, shrinking down in size until it consists of just a point. Then the point vanishes. It reminds me of an old TV when turned off. The image quickly shrinking to a point and popping out of existence. For a while I experience nothingness.

I drop back into reality with a feeling that I can only describe as a full body orgasm. It feels like I just got reborn. The patterns of light form another Ouroboros and shrink into a point again. Only this time instead of popping out of existence, blowing up and expanding into the whole 4 dimensional universe we exist in. I become the universe. I feel like I am watching god. For a period I know everything. The whole universe and all the forces in it make sense. I see my life up to now in cause and event chains, in a single image and understand what forces are produced by choice and which are deterministic.

T+ 5:45 (+++); I come out of my peak and start to feel crowded. I try to communicate my experience with some people that I had conversations with before. I find myself unable to formulate proper sentences. At this point I have no idea that I’m tripping.

T+ 6:00 (+++); With the music getting deeper and darker throughout the night, I see my fears in other people. People are acting strange like they are on drugs. Which I cannot confirm or deny. I walk into a guy who looked angry at me. He tries to go left as I go right, and goes right when I go left a couple times. I feel like he is mad at me for being in his way. I feel like our realities are colliding with each other and I start to feel fear. I hear people whisper their opinion on the party. At this point, I’m not going to lie, I feel anxious or even panicky. I find myself wondering what the hell is going on and when will it stop? The music and the dense crowd make me feel very claustrophobic but I decide to move into the crowd a little deeper to try and find people with mellower vibes around me. I take the first step and I already feel much better. Every time I move to a different spot, I find the same people following me, bumping into me and not giving me any personal space. People all around me appear to break down into verbal arguments with each other. Two Spanish ladies sound like they are constantly mad at each other.

T+ 6:30 (+++); I head to the stoner house for a smoke to have some space. Unfortunately there were two guys sitting close by me. I could never understand them before when I wasn’t tripping, because of him mumbling strange stuff and them under pronouncing things from really far in the back of their mouths. He turns to me and starts talking to me. Now while tripping I can understand glimpses of the things he keeps repeating. Things like ‘nice party’, ‘soon I will throw a big private party’ among repetitive syllables in what sounds to me like Amsterdamnish. Lots of words containing Z’s pronounced as S’. Words sound morphed, reversed and retriggered. I turn away for him to proceed talking to the guy on the other side of him. I wonder if these are people that never came out of their acid trip. A group of French people are speaking French around me. I can’t understand them. It makes me feel like they are excluding and mocking me.

T+ 6:40 (+++); I realize I kind of forgot I’m tripping. I close my eyes and shut myself off from my surroundings. I start contemplating all the things I’m experiencing. The thought dawns on me that all the things I’m seeing, all the aggression from people bumping into one another and all the fear I’m feeling are mostly caused by the substances I consumed, the state of mind I was in before the party, the crowdedness at the party, the amount of mental stimuli and my traumatic past.

I sit there with the bong in my hand. I take a toke, it does not make me feel better. If anything it makes the voices worse. I decide to give the bong a rest. It feels great to consciously make that decision. I feel the power of choice as opposed to determinism. I have an epiphany moment where my addictions totally made sense.

I feel the power of choice as opposed to determinism. I have an epiphany moment where my addictions totally made sense.

 I see genetics get passed down. I see my parents smoking cigarettes, cannabis and drink exceptional amounts of coffee. I realize that I cannot hate myself for my addictive tendencies and I must forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I realize that those tendencies are deterministic from my perspective but aside from that I made the decision to consume all and any of those drugs. I have to live through the consequences of those choices. So quitting a drug is also nothing more than a choice and sticking to the consequences.

T+ 7:00 (+++); I go back inside for a last dance. I find myself thinking the trip's peak is lasting a little long for my liking. Time dilation makes 10 minutes feel like over half an hour. The next hour and 15 minutes I’m trying to cope with tiredness. My head is so full with so many different thoughts and feelings from throughout the night. I’m pretty confident that I’m just imagining things mostly, with the exception of the guy at the stoner house. The knowledge that the person I hung with most of the night was not tripping on LSD and that she appears to be tripping from my perspective makes that clear to me.

T+ 08:15 (+++); I go to the stoner house to get my bong. I warm up at the campfire with a warm scarf wrapped around my neck. I feel comfortable, enlightened and most of all eager to comprehend the experience I just had.

T+ 08:30 (+++); I say goodbye to the people I talked to throughout the night. I’m left with a feeling of awe. I feel tired but clear minded. I think I now know what I failed to do throughout my life and what I have to start doing to make my life better. I go to the bathroom outside for one final time and find myself having difficulty taking a pee, even though I feel like I have to go so bad.

T+ 08:45 (+++); I smoke a spliff, heading for the bus stop to go home. I feel amazing, exhilarated full with fresh knowledge about myself and the universe. I have a great conversation at the bus stop with a couple people familiar with LSD. They tell me I’m pretty good at putting the experience into words so the thought of writing a trip report dawns on me.

T+ 09:30 (+++); The comfort of the warmth of the bus makes my body feel extremely relaxed.  On the way home I spend hours contemplating what I experienced.

T+ 10:00 (+++); I sit down in the train and start eating my fruits. The raspberries are wonderfully sweet. Every single blueberry tastes so different from the last one. The dried apples pieces are the best thing I have ever tasted while tripping. I forget to get off at the right stop delaying me by half an hour.

T+ 12:30 (++); I come home and slowly come down further. I start talking to all my closest ones about this intricate experience. I just have to come closer to describing it.

T+ 18:00 (++); The patterns on my wallpaper still rotate. When listening to Jimi Hendrix the sounds morph a little bit. I think I finally understand the lyrics to “All along the Watchtower” now.

T+ 20:00 (++); I go lay on the couch still seeing the patterns move back and forth a little bit. I take a couple hits of cannabis for the patterns to live up and rotate a little more. Exhausted I fall asleep.

T+ 23:00(+); I wake up still after-glowing. The visuals have faded. Upon smoking some cannabis there are no more flashback feelings or visuals. I’m completely fine with the trip being over however wonderful the experience was. Before I lose any information I start vigorously writing this report.

March 29th; In retrospect I feel like it was an amazing trip. I would definitely repeat LSD some day. Maybe in lower dosage and definitely without Ketamine. I want to try both of them separately.

I fell in love the week before my trip so taking that xtc while already being in such a great mood, made me feel ecstatic. The Ketamine took away the negative side effects from the xtc and later allowed me to distance myself from the panic I was feeling. I wonder which effects were caused by the LSD and which by the Ketamine.

I wonder which effects were caused by the LSD and which by the Ketamine.

 Because I took them together, both for the first time, I have no idea what caused what. I still feel like it was the best moment for me to take LSD for the first time. However I also know mixing a strong drug like xtc with two unfamiliar psychedelics was a bad idea. That could have gone really wrong. Drinking in the afternoon before taking xtc wasn’t the greatest idea either.

Nevertheless I think it was totally worth it. The experience has profoundly changed me as a person, for the better. I understand myself much better than I did before and I feel like I learned a lot about the fundamental workings of the universe. I have stopped using speed since and feel no need to take it anymore.

In comparison to mushrooms: I feel no need to do mushrooms anymore. I guess I learned everything there is for me to learn from mushrooms. Mostly how to handle being in different states and coping with the different thoughts and feelings that you can have throughout a trip. I feel like mushrooms made me ready for 2c-e.

In comparison to 2c-e: This trip felt much brighter and much less confusing. Where 2c-e felt like going psychotic and stopped my brain from making sense, LSD made me feel more focused and gave me the feeling I understood everything. 2c-e always made me think all kinds of crazy stuff and at the time these things even made sense to me. I’d like to call 2c-e ‘LSDs crazy psychotic sister’.

June 12th; Since my trip I have noticed significant changes in my mindset and behavior. I’m much calmer, more positive and resistant to negativity. I no longer feel awkward around people and I’m usually ready to seize the day. Abstaining from drugs is easier and I actually manage to not smoke cannabis for 24 hours now, up to three times a week. I eat well, even breakfast! I sleep well and regularly, have more energy, visit more friends and started working out for the first time in many years. Out of the last 2 months, I was depressed only for a single day and had a nightmare once.

I can remember all sort of things that I haven’t thought about in the longest time. Playing songs on guitar without chords actually became a possibility. I seem to understand people much better now. People tell me they feel understood by me and that I add a lot to their life. I try really hard to create positive energy everywhere I go and attempt to help people understand themselves and the world around them better to improve their life in the ways they desire.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110629

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: May 10, 2018	Views: 3,218

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MDMA (3), LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Combinations (3), Club / Bar (25)


		 DOSE:

		 0.25 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   18 st

I have battled with depression and anxiety disorders for most of my adult life, I have tried all manner of antidepressants and anxiety medication. To no avail. For the purposes of this report, it would also be prudent to mention that I mostly self medicate with illicit drugs. The variety and amounts of which are too lengthy to include here.

I have what I consider to be a moderate to above average experience level with the drugs I have used. With the exception of LSD. This drug in particular has always scared me somewhat. I have used DMT on one occasion, and other hallucinogens on several occasions - mushrooms, 2CB, nbomes etc.

This report is an account of my first use of LSD. The specific intent was to investigate the benefits (if there are any) of microdosing, in order to help alleviate the symptoms of my depression and anxiety disorders. I read lots of info on this technique, and discovered it quite by accident while researching blotter designs online.

After some research, I learned that 10-30µg of LSD is considered to be a low or 'threshold' dose. As I am a rather large chap (18+ st), I decided that the 30µg would be suitable.

x7 120µg LSD blotter tabs were obtained from a reliable and reputable source.

My intention was to cut each tab into 4 equal pieces (30µg each) and take one of the pieces each morning for a week.

Day one:

8:00am

I woke up and went through my normal morning routine. A friend had assured me that a dose of just 30µg would probably have some effect on my mindset, but it would not cause any hallucinations. This eased my concerns somewhat as I had planned to undertake this microdosing experiment without anyone's knowledge. I intended to go to work, and do everything I normally would.

8:45am

I put one of the quarter tabs under my tongue. I left it there for 15mins or so until it had gone sort of mushy, then I swallowed it. I then drove to work and arrived about 30mins later.

9:45am

At this point, I started noticing some effects. Hardly perceptible, and very possibly a placebo effect, but nevertheless I felt something. I felt a bit light headed, and the office lights seemed brighter than usual.

11:00am

I go on my break. Lights still seem brighter than usual. But nothing else of any real importance. No mood change or anything like that. Just the slight sensation that a drug was in my system, doing something hardly perceptible.

3:00pm

I finish for the day and drive home. I noticed that the light effect seems to have gone by this point. I feel the same as I would have on any other day. Which for the record, is pretty miserable and frustrated.

Day Two:

8:45

I microdose for the 2nd time. At this point it occurs to me that I have no real way of knowing exactly what dosage I am taking

it occurs to me that I have no real way of knowing exactly what dosage I am taking

. The LSD was procured from a reliable source, but I simply have no way to know if the tabs contain the dosage they are purported to contain. I rationalise this by telling myself that if I had taken more than the threshold dosage the day before, I certainly would have known about it an hour or so later.

10:00am

Today is a staff meeting. Which involves weekly reports to the manager, to discuss figures, targets, budget concerns etc. All spoken about in a group setting. This is normally hell for me. This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me anxious. Today however, I feel much more relaxed. No zaps in my chest, or sweaty hands, or anything like that. I did have some trouble organising my thoughts however in preparation for my presentation, something that is not usually a problem. It's very difficult to describe. I felt fuzzy and confused, but at the same time I didn't care. The fluorescent office lights looked bright again today.

Day Three:

Usually after three days of work, I am ready to reach for my little box of drugs, to maybe skin up, or take a little MDMA to take the edge off. Today though, strangely, I felt no need for this. I took my little 30µg tab again in the morning, and by the time the end of the working day came around, I felt much less stressed than I would at this time in the week.

I continued microdosing for a further 4 days.

My findings:

In the week that I used a threshold dose of LSD every day, I used no other drugs. Which is highly unusual for me. I'm not saying this very short experiment has cured me of my depression and anxiety, far from it. But it has given me food for thought.

I'm not saying this very short experiment has cured me of my depression and anxiety, far from it. But it has given me food for thought.

 It has made me wonder if the LSD was doing anything, or if I wanted it to work so much that I was experiencing nothing more than a strong placebo effect. I definitely experienced some very minor visual changes, lights were definitely brighter. That was not an imagined effect. I did learn however that I could go a full 7 days without turning to other drugs as a way of self medicating.

The LSD microdosing experiment gave me hope. Which is something I will hold onto.

Was it the LSD itself that made me realise I don't need to use other drugs as a crutch, or was it the fact that I wasn't taking anything else for a whole week that allowed my body to return to some form of normal functionality? Did I just unintentionally give myself a detox under the guise of LSD microdosing?

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 108178

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 35

Published: May 23, 2018	Views: 9,772

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LSD (2) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Medical Use (47), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

This report was written approximately 3 months following the experience. Portions were recorded during the experience and used in this report. The author has experimented with numerous psychedelics and lost count of the number of experiences prior to this one, though estimates the number of LSD experiences to be around 100.

The experience which is the subject of this report was preceded by, and is continuous with, another psychedelic experience beginning on a Friday evening.

I was living in Thailand, on the hidden bays of an island, in a small community of trippers from all over the world living together in paradise. There are nonstop dance parties every week, and Friday evening was getting ready to kick off. The parties go all night and all morning, so we often just go in the morning. I was really tired this night in particular, but a friend came by the house and shared some cocaine. Suddenly, all us tired folks decided we ought to go to the party.

A 5 minute walk later we were there, and very awake, but the cocaine wasn't great and we were a little sober already. I had been meaning to have an LSD trip with the closest friend I made there since I arrived, and hadn't had a good opportunity. So I asked him and he was in. So we dosed about 150μg around midnight and settled in for a fun evening.

The trip was fun but not particularly noteworthy, other than the memories it brought back of doing the same thing in the same place years before. But it's important to mention because, of course, we stayed all night and morning until the music stopped at 11am.

we stayed all night and morning until the music stopped at 11am.

 We went to get some food and chill out, and made it back to his house, where I napped for a couple hours.

Now it was Saturday afternoon/evening, and we were relaxing getting ready to Saturday night and musing about the previous nights adventures. I was really tired at this point. But another friend was the first DJ that night, so we headed to the next venue around 9 to hear his set.

This is where the first strange experience happened. I was pretty much exhausted in every way walking there, but arriving I was extremely awake, energetic, ecstatic, and happy. I was completely sober at this point, but so high on life and happy with what I was doing. Our friend was dropping some amazing tracks and I grooved really hard for a couple hours. As our friend finished his set, most of the gang was getting ready to leave and sleep for a few hours before the morning set.

But I felt an incredible pull to stay for the evening and experience the memories of staying at the party all night, as I'd done a number of times in years past. So I decided to stay, and took a seat on the couch behind the DJ booth so I could chill out. Despite being both extremely awake, I was also very tired and knew I needed to chill out if I wanted to make it all night.

I hung out on the couch for 3 or 4 hours, doing a bit of ketamine here and there, enjoying the music and reflecting on life and how grateful I was to be where I was.

Then around 4 am, I'm not sure what triggered it, but I got the idea to take the LSD I had with me. Though I had my own, these tabs had been given to me by a friend and I'd been holding on for the right moment. I took a moment, set my intentions, and took the two tabs which were laid at approximately 250μg each for a total of 500μg.

[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

The moment the touched my tongue, I felt a burst of energy swell throughout my body and immediately heightened senses. I had never felt these sensations as strongly as I did in this occasion, and I attribute that to already heightened senses from the preceding 24 hours.

At this point, I became hyperaware of my own body and all the other bodies around me. About 20 minutes after dosing the LSD, I decided I would finish the rest of my ketamine. There was approximately 150mg left, which I insufflated with straw in a couple small scoops over the next few minutes, and then vacuumed out the bag.

As the ketamine began to take effect, the world began closing around me in spectacular fashion. My conscious self began to fade, and there was a period of time which I don't recall. Then, I had a vision.

I felt my consciousness leaving my physical body, spiraling upwards through a sea of cosmic wonder, reaching up to a central point. The circular point contained, at least, all human conscious minds, existing in perpetual eternity as the geometric flower of life. That is, I felt a ball of all consciousness, and the ball took the geometric form of infinitely overlapping circles. The sound I heard in this state of being, an eternally droning 'oooooooooommmmmmmmm,' was strangely familiar, as if I was remembering it not only from my earthly experiences but perhaps before my human brain could remember.

In this state of being, I felt a profound sense of calm, peace, and contentment. To be frank, it felt indescribably amazing. The feeling of 'oneness' was better than any feeling I'd ever felt in any human experience.

After an indeterminate amount of time, I felt my mind, taking the appearance of a sort of mask, leaving the point and spiraling downward

After an indeterminate amount of time, I felt my mind, taking the appearance of a sort of mask, leaving the point and spiraling downward

 until I returned to my body and opened my eyes for the first time.

I immediately scrambled to pull out my phone and email to myself a number of the realizations that occurred to me in the detached state of being. Among the realizations, the most important was that we are all becoming one again. This thought came to me without effort. As I bathed in the bliss of the state of oneness, I realized that this feeling was better than any that could please our egos, and that we were all destined to feel the feeling of oneness for eternity. From this, I was able to let go of any worry I held about the the outcomes of reality in the physical realm, and trust that everything was going to be okay no matter what happens.

Among the other items I emailed to myself:

'There is a God, and We are All It.'

'God is Connection. Connection is God.'

By the time the ketamine had subsided, the LSD had fulled kicked in. But instead of seeing spectacular visuals and the crazy experience one might expect from the dosage I'd taken, all I was seeing was a vivid reality and a natural flow to all the physical objects around me. Everything had glowing aura, and I was seeing people eyes in completely different way. In everyone else's eyes, I could see a glowing pinpoint, the same point that I seemed to have experienced with my mind. Nothing was swirling, nothing was waving, nothing was bending; my vision wasn't tripping out. I was just seeing reality for what it was.

This experience catalyzed a number of other realizations, about myself and about the nature of reality. I will conclude the trip report without delving deeper into those areas. But I will say that there was no way I was sleeping at this point. It was a magical sunrise and my friends slowly joined in the dance party as my favorite DJ played from sunrise to the end. We left to get some good, and I got apple pie with chocolate ice cream and a strawberry smoothie, which were absurdly good.

I was still awake and managed my way to the final party of the weekend, Sunday day party on the beach. By this point the LSD had mostly worn off, but my vision remained. There was a natural flow to everything, and I was seeing it all unfold in front of me. The interactions I was having with complete strangers were mind boggling, everyone was on the same vibe, and the vibe was amazing. Nobody was there who wasn't supposed to be, and nobody was acting out of turn. Everyone made eye contact for the duration of conversations, and there was an incredible energy in the air. Everyone understood the same things, and everyone was connected.

I will be forever in search of these 'high vibes'. Times and places where humans are living to their fullest, and everybody is following the flow. I believe the more it happens, the more we are getting closer to uniting our individual minds. For the rest of my life, I seek not to live life by anyone else's definition of success. 'Success' as defined by this world, serves only our egos and the egos of those we know. My mission is now to contribute to conscious awakening to the true nature of reality. Nothing else matters, and my life is has no meaning to me unless I am working toward the Truth that I have been made aware of.

Various quotes by Erwin Schrödinger:

'Although I think that life may be the result of an accident, I do not think that of consciousness. Consciousness cannot be accounted for in physical terms. For consciousness is absolutely fundamental. It cannot be accounted for in terms of anything else.'

'The plurality that we perceive is only an appearance; it is not real.'

'There are two way out of the number paradox, both appearing rather lunatic from the point of view of present scientific thought (based on ancient Greek thought and thus thoroughly “Western”). One way out is the multiplication of the world in Leibnitz’s fearful doctrine of monads: every monad to be a world by itself, no communication between them.

There is obviously only one alternative, namely the unification of minds or consciousnesses. Their multiplicity is only apparent, in truth, there is only one mind.'

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111937

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 25

Published: May 24, 2018	Views: 2,237

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LSD (2), Ketamine (31), Sleep Deprivation (140) : Glowing Experiences (4), Multi-Day Experience (13), Combinations (3), Club / Bar (25)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   83 kg

I had read a lot about acid trips on beforehand, at least I wrongly thought so. I just recently had discovered MDMA, and it had been a great experience. Now I wanted to go a step further.

My girlfriend and I had spent the afternoon with my family on a family meetup and left in the evening to join our partners in crime. We met in the house of a childhood friend of mine, in the outskirts of a big city. We were: My girlfriend and I, my childhood friend and three further couples. One of them would not take anything and watch over our trip, as well as watch over a baby sleeping in the same building, using a laptop and Skype.

I didn't feel very comfortable in my friend's living room as it was full of things and lighted really brightly. I had read that messy surroundings could be really overwhelming when tripping. The lights were turned off and replaced by candles, which improved things a lot.

I told Vee, our experienced trip instructor, that I'd be up for 2 hits, and that I didn't want to combine the trip with MDMA, as I wanted to experience the real thing. Both tips that I had read online. Vee told me that was a bad idea and gave me only one. She also said it would take maybe an hour and a half for me as a first-timer to notice any effects, longer than for the others. I was sure that I wasn't going to have a bad trip as I am an emotionally stable person. Also my girlfriend had some LSD experience already, all only positive.

My girlfriend was the first to feel it, about 20 minutes in. Vee said that wasn't possible, it would take longer. Shortly afterwards she felt it, too, and so did I. Things started really nicely, my perception changed. Patterns started to move, things seemed to breath. It was fun to watch myself in the mirror. I saw my girlfriend morphing into herself at the age of 17 (as I knew her from pictures) and then even younger, at around age 13. Incredible. The birds on my t-shirt were dancing.

My girlfriend and I moved upstairs, into a dark and empty room with a balcony overlooking the garden, where the others had lit a campfire. Everything was weird, new and exciting. My perception was tilted in unexpected ways.

Everything was weird, new and exciting. My perception was tilted in unexpected ways.

 I was able to *see* the smell from the fire on the balcony and the smell of the wooden floor inside. I could *touch* that smell. The blinking light from a charger seemed to talk to us. I had read about focus problems during the peak of the trip and focus problems I had. I couldn't keep a thought for longer than a second. So this was the peak of the trip, I assumed.

Our tripsitter visited us to ask if everything was ok. My girlfriend told him she wanted to take MDMA. He said, he would 'pass on her request'. I imagined what impression we must give to a sober person and told her I was sure we were not being taken seriously.

We walked into the bathroom and found a universe of its own. Everything was moving and had strange forms. The floor seemed to be wet and dry at the same time. Really weird.  Then we went downstairs again. The atmosphere had changed. The living room was dark and in it sat a group of completely black figures, laughing a little when we arrived. We went into the garden and sat down at the fire.

I was increasingly confused and tried to make sense of the state I was in, and trying to find out if the others were in the same state. What they said didn't make much sense to me. They laughed and discussed the option of taking another hit. That confused me even more, as I was feeling mine very strongly. I looked around and noticed we were sitting close to the fence. I imagined what some neighbors or passers-by would think if they could hear our drug talk. They could certainly hear that. The others just laughed at my thought. What if they called the police? A car passed. I thought I saw somebody hiding behind the fence.

What freaked me out was that the others started using the exact same sentences over and over again. Maybe somebody was pulling my leg here. I felt bad and touched my girlfriend's leg, as I assumed she must feel bad, too. She didn't seem to.

I went inside again. The figures sitting on the sofa looked scary, with big, black eyes. I went to the toilet. There things started to get crazy. The room was turning upside down, the dead fly on the floor was the size of a rat, tiles started to move towards me and back.

I tried to figure out what had happened. This clearly had nothing to do with anything I had read online about LSD trips. I remembered stories of people enjoying the beauty of nature, stories of sex on LSD. This was something entirely different. Suddenly a strong diarrhea kicked in. I heard laughter outside while I shat.

Back in the living room everything had somehow changed. The house and the room had stopped existing, it was more like a black hole. What people said made no sense to me. Their eyes were huge, covering half of their faces. One face consisted just of eyes and teeth, and grinned demonically at me. Some phrases were used again and again. My childhood friend came inside and looked like a frog. He laughed loudly, opened his mouth and issued a gigantic burp. People were talking about MDMA. My girlfriend looked scary, like a maniac drug addict with huge eyes. I tried not to look into anybody's face anymore. I was scared to death.

I tried not to look into anybody's face anymore. I was scared to death.

Something clearly was going wrong here. Our tripsitter said incredibly strange things and stuck some herbs under my nose. Two big eyes in his face were staring at me at close distance, one some centimeters higher in his face than the other. He was clearly on drugs, too.

The laptop with the Skype babyphone made a noise. Somebody made a joke about it. The laptop became the center of my universe, with everything around collapsing. How can somebody be so irresponsible? We were on a gigantic drug party, having taken God knows what, with a baby in the middle!

Everything was going downhill from now on. My thoughts centered around the baby my girlfriend and I were planning to have and my parents who I had seen just some hours ago. Now everything seemed to end in a drug hell with no escape. I was terrified. 'Irresponsible!' - the word popped into my head a dozen times. I considered how I could save everybody from this collapsing world. How I could save my girlfriend.

People around me were laughing. I went to the toilet again. I shat and then suddenly threw up. Everything I had eaten and drunk landed in the toilet in front of me. Then I fled to the garden. I felt the wet grass under my feet and looked at the trees. I remembered trip stories praising nature on LSD and understood. Nature gave me some comfort. The voices around me terrified me. The same sentences again and again. Some evil things to my ears. Sometimes somebody would come and hug me. I enjoyed the touch but avoided to look into their devilish faces. Every word they said was wrong. A woman came and touched me and said in an ice-cold voice: 'I don't care about you at all, you're nothing.'

I started to think that maybe I was hallucinating, that all the mean things they said came out of my head. I tried to ignore the voices but I couldn't. I noticed that my girlfriend was hugging me. I don't know for how long already. I felt the cold, wet grass and laid down. Many hands were on my back, this felt good. I started to vomit again, into the grass. My stomach emptied and I continued to vomit air and spit. I stood up and noticed that the garden door was open. This terrified me even more. The fence looked smaller than before, the outside world dark and scary.

I fled inside, on the sofa. There I tried to think what to do to prevent the worst. I decided that not doing anything and not going anywhere was the only way. I laid down and looked outside of the window, to the sky. I stayed like that for hours, trying to ignore the evil voices and faces around me. My girlfriend's hands on my body gave me some comfort but I was scared like never before in my life. She stayed with me for hours. Somebody suggested to go for a walk. This sounded like a big menace to me.

After sunrise Gor's and Vee's voices around me suddenly changed in tone, sounded human again. I said 'Maybe this was really you who said that'. 'That was me' said Gor and I believed him. The horror trip seemed to have ended, the voices were not coming out of my head anymore. The faces still looked scary, with huge eyes, but things had improved. I slowly realized that my universe had not ended but I had simply had a bad trip. And the trip was ending.

My girlfriend - who thanks to me had had a hard night, too - and I took a taxi home. The picture on the taxi driver's ID moved and grinned at me, and at home all things looked really different. My girlfriend still had big eyes. Only after some hours of sleep everything looked normal again, and the terror in my bones had left me.

I am still trying to figure out what went wrong and what this night tells me about me, my urge to control things, my judgemental side and my thing with 'responsibility'.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103867

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 39

Published: May 28, 2018	Views: 2,706

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		   repeated

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

I had a Tramatic Brain Injury in 2015 where I passed out standing up and cracked my skull on concrete.   My brain injury affected many things in the day to day processing of a brain.  A big one was hearing.  It was extremely difficult for me to process language especially in noisy spaces. At first all music sounded out of tune, and high pitched noises would almost be painful even at low levels.  After three years I was still struggling with being able to have conversation in loud spaces, enjoy listening to music, and really just feel at ease around social environments.  Another big one was the depression that came with the TBI and would swing in pretty heavy with a lot of suicidal thoughts and hopelessness.

2 and a half years after the injury, I experimented with microdose (30 micrograms) of LSD while camping with friends and I felt that it awakened my brain in some ways hard for me to describe.

6 months later I took a dose of 125 micrograms by myself at home around 6pm.  The experience was amazing.  About 2 hours after the dose, I started seeing patterns in the wood flooring and then saw an entire scene and tried drawing it to remember it.  I then continued drawing as if I had to.  It felt very emotional to me to be drawing and a few dark images came out that somehow connected to emotion I was still working through from my head injury and maybe more.   I experienced color like I never imagined possible.  I looked in a mirror and saw myself for who I really am more clearly that ever before and more at peace with myself than ever before.  4 hours after dose I felt elated and kept painting and drawing and playing music.  I stayed up for 12 hours after the dose.

After this experience, I now have more mental stamina than I need, I can process speech in loud environments better than ever, and my depression doesn't seem to be anything that would resurface.  I have been microdosing 40 or 80 micrograms once a month since, and it has taken my quality of life from challenging, confusing, and frustrated to one of pleasure, understanding and peace.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110850

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 33

Published: May 30, 2018	Views: 2,236

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LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Not Applicable (38)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (edible / food)

		   T+ 1:30

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 1:30
		 1 cart.
		 inhaled
		 Nitrous Oxide
		 (gas)

		   T+ 4:30
		 1 cart.
		 inhaled
		 Nitrous Oxide
		 (gas)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

Background: Prior to this experience I had been with Betty-Sue and known Joe and Sarah (another couple) several months. We had taken E a few times together and shrooms twice, but I never had a good (or strong) trip before this. I had read a lot on psychedelics in general, and was most impressed by Stanislav Grof's writings at the time.

T-7:00/ 10:00 AM- Shortly after waking up, I find out from Joe we're taking acid today. How exciting! I'm nervous, so I read, my book at this time being Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. Lots of interesting, trippy themes.

T-0:00/ 5:00 PM- Out comes the acid, and we dose. We all (Joe and Sarah, Betty-Sue and I) get a sugar cube with a strong hit on it, and Joe and Sarah each take an additional tab of blotter. Joe and Sarah leave to get some marijuana, and Betty and

I sit around reading with some music on. I feel antsy but manage to focus my attention on my reading and just about forget the strange, strange chemical I just ingested.

T+1:00 - I get up to go to the bathroom and by the time I get there I am feeling a little trippy. The night light in the bathroom is moving away from the wall and back. My reading back at the couch is a touch slower than normal, but my comprehension feels improved somehow. I feel serene.

T+1:30 - Joe and Sarah burst into the apartment in a wave of excitement, bearing nitrous oxide chargers and some fine quality marijuana. They love them some acid, and the feeling is contagious. I am definitely enjoying myself, and feel ++ after partaking in a bowl and a whipit. As I come down from the nitrous, I remark that I feel like Moses. Before long, my first negative thought creeps in- that we, as humans, experience only an infinitesimally small spectrum of the universe. I recognize the negativity building and with minimal effort steer myself to cheerier subjects, something I could never do on mushrooms.

I recognize the negativity building and with minimal effort steer myself to cheerier subjects, something I could never do on mushrooms.

 The visuals are subtle and geometric- simple pattern seeking and tessellation on the walls, and everything breathes a little bit. I am not wearing my contacts and cannot see very far with any precision. I feel a definite sense of buddhist detachment, also unlike my previous experiences with mushrooms. I also happen to feel very close to Betty. Any timestamp after this point is my best guess.

T+2:30 - The apartment is beginning to get too intense, so we head out to the nearby park. My depth perception is off, and manhole covers seem to rise two feet out of the ground. The grass is made of spinning fractals, and I see the neighborhood we are walking through as a personality, though my head is remarkably clear.

T+2:45 - As we cross the last street to the park, the acid shifts to the next higher gear. Walking anywhere seems to take an interminable amount of time as we circle the park, which seems to be bigger than normal, not to mention more beautiful. The water tower is painted with giant brown spots in such a way that it looks like it is pushing up out of the earth, its skin being stretched out from the ground. We all lay out under a tree in what I imagine is typical hippie fashion. Betty and I lay straight on the ground. There are burrs and ants, but I don't really mind. Visuals are beginning to overcome my sight, and the fractal branches of the tree above me are whirling. I have some closed eye visuals, but they seem to lack any real meaning or importance so I dismiss them.

T+3:00 - 'The question is one of identity.' And so it begins. I turn my attention inwards, through senses that stretch all the way through infinity and back. I let the tessellated spirals of tree above me, Betty's weight on me, and the various tactile sensations of the grass wash over me in a detached way. Utter calm and lysergic bliss. So this is what it is.

T+3:30 - The sun is setting, and the MEANING is starting to set in as well. Random words and sentence fragments from the sparse conversation are the capstones to immense and significant arcs of thought that I pursue one by one.

Random words and sentence fragments from the sparse conversation are the capstones to immense and significant arcs of thought that I pursue one by one.

 Betty points out the setting sun. 'Can't you see it?' The sun is the genesis of truth and beauty, and I feel silly for not seeing it before. Betty has a golden glow over her skin, and her face is clear and perfect, though it is hard to see clearly. I think she has two mouths, and I say so, immediately realizing my double entendre (sexual overtones) as everyone laughs. At this point I begin to become aware of the infinite recursion of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Any thought can exist on its own, stretching off into an infinite meaning. Eyes Open and Eyes Closed are pretty much the same now. Around this time, I become the archetypical man, Betty the archetypical woman. In this Garden of Eden space or non-space we have, we exist in a perfect fullness of love. I hear Joe remark of my condition, 'It's like a child learning to run' or something similar. I had forgotten about our friends! They must be a part of this understanding too! My perception of this state widens a notch, as the concept undergoes another recursion. Human = Us = Love = I =???

Betty is now asking me the most important question: Am I (we) god? I cannot bear to hold the concept, and shy away from answering. Each time I stand on the threshold of the thought, I back away, and she asks if I love her. I do, and we merge in infinite bliss as we kiss. This happens a few times. I hear a gasp after some time, and it becomes a tremendous release from an emotional barrier. It was Sarah who gasped. 'I just did a WHIPIT' she exclaims. It had been ~2 hours since any of us had so much as seen a whipit. How odd! Shortly thereafter, we all find the ability to stand and move around.

T+4:30 - Back at the apartment, Betty wants to discuss something heavy with me, but we are unable to get some time alone. In the bathroom she waits for me to finish so she can go, and I apologize for taking so long, and she accepts. Immediately after this exchange I realize that she vocalized the apology and I voiced the acceptance! How exceedingly peculiar! We take more whipits and smoke more cannabis, as I contemplate the Question. I cannot bear to let go of my 22 years. It cannot have been an illusion! The Question then becomes a plea to leave the apartment, and we decide to do so in the middle of a whipit. We burst out, laughing and screaming, wielding a bubble wand and hastily applying shoes, running down the stairs and slamming the door. We walk around the university campus, blowing bubbles and being a little confused.

T+5:30 - The question of godhood is beginning to lose its meaning and grip over my ego. I drink a little of a pina colada from the corner store, and its taste is perfect communication of pure experience and a flashback to the peak. Communication binds us as one entity!

T+ 6:30 - We are coming down at the apartment. Lounging, smoking, eating very cheap tex-mex food. Remembering and remarking, wandering around aimlessly, trying to read.

T+12:00 - Finally, I drift off to sleep on our poor, deflating air mattress.

Overall impressions: Acid is awesome. Love, peace, unity. I feel a greater experiential understanding of consciousness in the Buddhist sense.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72237

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 8, 2018	Views: 1,693

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LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 2 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Clonazepam
		 (pill / tablet)

		 2 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Clonazepam
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   135 lb

Preface: I am normally a pretty grounded person and perhaps that’s what caused me to hold back from letting the effects sink in. I wanted to trip because I really missed the nostalgia of the headspace and visuals I get when on a psychedelic. I went in with goals of feeling more in tune with my own families and psyche. I was with two friends, we will call them Ned and Arnold. Me and Arnold are friends since primary school so I decided to trip with him, as we had not yet done so together. We go to Ned’s place and play some PS3 until we decide to drop.

The Drop: We take the tabs, mine was 155mcg with perforated edges, Arnold’s was 100mcg with clean cut edges. My friend asked how we were on psychedelics, and I joking said I get a little psychotic- if only I had known. We play one more match on the ps3 and go downstairs. We go in this recreation room with this semi-finished puzzle on a table.

The Come Up: There’s this giddiness that builds up as I’m sitting in the rec room, and Arnold notes the same thing, I also notice this painting on the wall looks sort of popping out like a 3D screen. After we begin to feel more and more giddy we decide to go outside to the beach and walk around. At this point, the visuals are coming on stronger and it makes the sand look like the grains are dancing in a harmony along with the wind. We walk over to this storm drain, and mind that it was a cloudy dark day and as a matter a fact about to rain, so looking at the nasty polluted-looking storm drain kind of set me off in a bad headspace about where mother nature was headed. I definitely think the shitty weather and the fact that we were in a rather urban area of the beachside, had already set me off in a negative headspace.

I definitely think the shitty weather and the fact that we were in a rather urban area of the beachside, had already set me off in a negative headspace.

 This was particularly frustrating because as any tripper knows, indoors is not a very comfortable environment to be in during a psychedelic experience.

The Peak: We are still chilling at the storm drain, but at this point Ned and Arnold are conversing and I was finding it harder and harder to keep track of the conversation and stay coherent. I would start laughing about random thoughts flying through my head and I being a flat out stoner thought of a brilliant idea: to smoke some weed now that I’m at the peak. In hindsight it was a good thing I mentioned that because we had to go back to my car to pick up the bud, and in the middle of the way back, huge gusts of wind were hitting us and we saw a heavy rainstorm approaching land from the sea shore, so we hightail it back to Ned’s and go back to smoke.

We smoke in this dark ass room with a fan to blow smoke out of, and there was this other compartment at the edge of the room that was dark and everything there seemed to be moving, and same with the ground and the different patterns on the ground. I remember taking only one out of a one hitter, I mostly gave some to Ned as a favor for him trip sitting us. What scared the hell out of me was that I felt this presence and out of the corner of my eye, in that compartment in the corner of the room, I saw the figure of a person, very vague, but he had blue pants a red shirt and seemed to be like porcelain white. I didn’t say anything about it and brushed it off. After a while we decide to go back upstairs and play some Fortnite. At this point I was going deep into introspect, I mean just lost in the sauce. And I was thinking jeez it’s so hard to think or even do anything for that matter. Then I don’t know if they were really saying it coincidentally, or if I was going delusional at that point, but it felt like my friends were saying exactly what I was thinking. And it didn’t help that Ned was on the phone with our friend Matt who was talking about someone else and saying how all they do was nothing with their lives and the least they could ever do was pick up the phone. For some reason I felt like Matt was talking about me and how all I could do was nothing but lay catatonically while Ned and Arnold play fortnite.

The Freakout (Mid Trip): At this point, I don’t know what happened fully, but I think I began to be scared that since they were saying exactly what I was thinking that life must just be some sort of illusion and for that reason none of my actions mattered.

I began to be scared that since they were saying exactly what I was thinking that life must just be some sort of illusion and for that reason none of my actions mattered.

 I would have these thought loops that what’s stopping me from doing nothing and everything at the same time, and just really paradoxical thinking. I was also really scared that life was just an illusion that concocted with its own history serving as an illusory backstory to keep me fooled and that my friends were my watchers and were like oh shit he knows  none of this is real, we’re gonna have to put him down. In reality they were like oh shit he’s tripping hard and he’s freaking out, and they tried to put some benzos in this bottled water so I can calm down. So when they gave me the water, I don’t know what I was thinking, I was convinced my friends were just illusions that my mind created as a coping mechanism for being the only sentient thing in the universe. I mean really deep delusional shit. I grabbed the water bottle and let all of the water spill out, which my friends were hoping I wouldn’t do because that water had 2mg of klonopin dissolved in it to calm me down. They kept telling me to take a benzo to calm me down. I was thinking since the illusion  is broken the damn benzos [don't] work on me anymore lol. In a way the whole illusion theory I had made me come to the conclusion that I was some sort of god, but I was scared of this and I rejected the idea, I felt like it would be a lonely principle to be a god. Because I would be the only one of my kind and would fear that my creations and companions would not have the same level of consciousness and sentience as myself.

Also at this point I was scared because I felt like I was gonna be punished for breaking the illusion and felt like I was gonna be transported into another body, another life, another illusion I wouldn’t be aware of. Apparently I kept saying “what? No way!” I think that was me reacting to these delusions telling me  that I was god, and what didn’t help was Ned twitching his foot because it made me feel like I was going even crazier, like I felt like Ned twitching his foot was the illusion of reality glitching out due to me being aware it was all an illusion. I continued to go through this thought loop that I was god, and I was just so tired of it.

I continued to go through this thought loop that I was god, and I was just so tired of it.

 By the time Arnold had convinced me to finally take a benzo, my other friend Andre arrived, and that helped calm me down too. By that point I was calmed down by the benzo but still convinced that I was god and I created everything and I was just talking about how impressed I was at how I got everything down to the particle. Apparently I went on a lot about fractals, Niel Degrasse Tyson and quantum particles. My friend Andre, just going along with it at that point joked around saying “I’m glad you got it down to the particle,” and “some would say you’re a rocket scientist.” And that really made it feel like they were also aware that reality was just my own concoction. So despite the benzos calming me down, I still had this “I’m god” headspace about me for another hour. After a while I go upstairs and take another benzo and call my mom, because during that experience I was worried I’d never see my family again.

The Comedown and After Thoughts: After an hour or so, the 4mg of klonopin really killed the psychedelic headspace and I asked my friend if he could do me the favor of driving me home. At that point I just wanted to be with my family and call it a day. By this point also I was back in tune with everything and was glad and humbled that I wasn’t a god. Because that would be a hard and lonely job. I was glad that I wasn’t just in a world that was a figment of my imagination because I learned that would also be lonely as fuck, and I think that’s why during the trip I was grabbing at my friends hoping that their reactions were real and genuine.

I am glad for one thought, and that’s how much I care about my family. Because that experience made me really miss them a lot and want to reconnect with all of them, because I feared that I would never see them again. I’m glad I went through this experience despite how challenging it was, because it both humbled me and renewed my appreciation for the ones I love. Perhaps it was the scariest trip I’ve had, but it may also be the most enlightening.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111973

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jun 9, 2018	Views: 2,205

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 3:00
		 1
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

So some background. I've done most drugs, it's almost easier to name the once I haven't at least tried once, having had significant experience with marijuana, 'spice', LSD, DMT, oxycodone, heroin, and Adderall. At any rate I used to smoke weed and trip and things were fine, then at some point I transitioned into opiates, long story short, got arrested, went to jail.

I got out about a month ago, and have struggled since to stay on the 'right' path. I'm 23 years old, no degree, back at my parent's house, no job. I've drank on a few occasions, smoked a pot, and even shot dope a few times, feeling relatively hopeless in the process.

An old friend from middle school ended up moving like five doors down from me. When I went over to hang out with him, the topic of tripping came up, as when he took out his weed there was a few hits of DMT and molly inside the jar. Asking him if he could connect me with somebody who had it, he gladly put me in contact with a person in Philly called J.

Now, my cousin T; we've always been close, like brothers. I turned him on to pot back in high school and got him drunk his first time. Altho he does not use drugs to the extent that I do, he does enjoy them. Being an intelligent person, I've always thought that he would benefit from and enjoy tripping. When the subject came up, it turns out that just as I always wanted to trip with him but never wanted to ask because I didn't want to push it on him, he always wanted me to ask because he wanted to try it.

Yesterday, he picks me up and we drive an hour into Philly to meet this J person. The commute was a hassle. J was very nice, altho talked foreeeever; with that said, I really do respect that she gave ' the talk' about tripping responsibly.

I really do respect that she gave ' the talk' about tripping responsibly.

 Even tho I am a seasoned tripper, knowing that she cares is cool.

Anyway we get back to my place and T has to go to work, so I hold onto the tabs. Looking at them, I want to just microdose a bit...the logic behind this was to get a feel for the vibe of my current house, which I have never tripped in but did a lot of dope in. Thus I had some background fears that this would create a negative vibe. At a little before 6pm, I eat like 1/3 of a tab, followed by another little tear a few minutes later to total roughly half a hit. J said that these tabs were measured out at 130-140 ug. I've never gotten even an estimate on the potency of hits I've had.

My mom came home from work at 6 as usual, typically she comes home only for a little bit and then goes to her boyfriend's house leaving me with the house to herself. This was not one of those nights. She made spaghetti as I started coming up.

Within 30-40 minutes I began to feel a therapeutic expansiveness. With my issues of unemployment, parole, problems with my sister and dad, depression issues, I felt the need to explore these issues and began thinking out loud with my mom present. I have a very close relationship with my mom and do not have the most conventional mindframe to begin with, so this was not entirely unusual to have this level of conversation with her. Tho I struggled to find 'THE' solution to all of life's problems, I found myself able to tackle the smaller things, like how I should call my sister or apply for more jobs tomorrow. Seems mundane, but the way I arrived at it felt nothing short of profound.

After eating the spaghetti, as 7 oclock (t+1) approached, I decided I'd go for a walk. No matter how many times I trip I always get this sensation as I'm coming up that I can summarize as 'shit, what did I do?' The idea of suddenly tripping balls for the first time in 3  years in front of my mom did not sound very appetizing. Putting on some headphones, I set out on the trail around my neighborhood. And the trip really took off there...

Listening to the American Beauty album of the Grateful Dead, I set off on my journey and as soon as the song started, the flowers and the trees all began vibrating in that manner of animated psychedelia that I had missed for so long. Spotting a green bug on a tree, I stopped in my tracks to watch this weird creature crawl around. A characteristically goofy grin appeared on my face, one that would not part with more for another 5 hours or so. Passing other people on the trail gave me some anxiety as they approached, but deciding to say hi to them continually made me feel good because these people were not expecting me to say hi and it made me feel like a good neighbor. The geese were hilarious, just in the way they moved.

Then, I started getting the tremors. One of the more annoying effects of LSD.

I started getting the tremors. One of the more annoying effects of LSD.

 Knowing that they're just a part of the drug allowed me to circumvent focusing on this annoying feature, nonetheless it sparks a certain negativity which I confronted rather than avoided and felt better for facing it. In the past, when I sold a lot of drugs, passing cars always sparked paranoia that these were cops or something, and I did feel this a little bit initially as cars went by but then came to the realization that I'm just not that important to be under surveillance. Not in a a bad way tho. Humbling.

Trails started kicking in. Not just little afterimages but I mean like rainbowey trails. Things started to look like they were oozing colors. Cooking, frying, it's hard to describe but everything was doing it. The setting sun cast a beautiful color onto the atmosphere, everything glowed in eternal perfection.

As it started actually getting dark, I realized that I'd have to return home. Checking the clock I found it wasn't even 8pm (t+2) yet, meaning that time distortion had definitely set in. Feeling some anxiety about going home where I knew my mom was, I sat in my backyard for a bit before going. Interacted with her briefly, then took the laptop and a book of MC Escher drawings to my bedroom.

In my room, I listened to the Wish You Were Here album by Pink Floyd. Here I came to peace with my newish house, where I had done all of my heroin, and been a scumbag in general. It's not the cleanest house but this did not bother me. Rather I stared at the ceiling as fantastic images came to the fore. These types of visuals were not omnipresent, just beneath the surface instead. Rather as I zoned out immersed in music I'd begin to see these kaleidoscopic snakes and shapes appear on the white ceiling. Colors flashed from light to dark, vivid to dull, one end of the hue to another. They didn't shift completely but definitely tried to. The music felt so much deeper than before. When I put on the album I felt it almost cliche to listen to Pink Floyd on acid as I've done this a couple times before but it was soooo right. The MC Escher picture book too was amusing when I'd get tired of the ceiling. Mindblowing stuff.

When I went out to smoke a cigarette, about three hours had passed since ingestion. It was now dark outside. Barefoot was the best possible way to go about going outside as my toes felt so good in the cool grass, and the clear sky revealed stars that looked like fireworks frozen just before explosion.

 When I went back inside, I went to my sister's room where one of my cats refuses to leave. Sitting on her bed petting the cat I really started peaking. First, my sister left a few days ago for a friend's house partially citing 'my behavior' as the reason she can't live here. This kind of boggled my mind as the incident which set it off was because I slept on the couch and didn't clean up the food I ate the night before. But sitting on her bed I sank into her shoes, into her mind, my little sister, one room over, for three years watching me do heroin and go to rehab and go to jail...I cried, for a long time, realizing that this wasn't about me sleeping on the couch but a point on a continuum of upset and disappointment. I texted her, and was able to reestablish communication. The drive to improve my life for myself and for my family is still strong in me a day later.

Also, as I stared at the cat, I also lived its life. While I did not specifically think of it as this at the time, I say that I experienced her other eight lives. She was an empress at one point, and another a wise old woman whose wisdom rarely gets spoken anymore let alone passed on. At my old house this cat used to roam around the yard but now refuses to leave my sister's room and just stares out the window. I could practically read her thoughts from her eyes and saw all these perspectives that she used to have.

Altho acid is innately visual after a certain dose, at this point of the trip, at least to me, the visuals become irrelevant. When it first starts kicking in it's like cool, trails, patterns, etc, but after 3 or 4 hours at the peak, the visuals are old news. They're incredibly awesome, don't get me wrong, but they're there...it's the mental exploration that I'm in it for. Visualizing my problems as if translucent geometric shapes in space, I burst thru them all as I logically overcame a lot of issues. Dark Side of the Moon was awesome, then I ate an apple that was tiiiiight. Best apple ever. And perfect because I was hungry but didn't realize it, as tripping tends to do this.

Mucus production increases dramatically at least for me during trips

Mucus production increases dramatically at least for me during trips

, so I started getting these globs in the back of my throat. My mom came to talk to me, mid-peak, but I was able to handle that nicely and calmly. She didn't suspect a thing. At this point, t+4 or t+5, the effects begin to dwindle slightly. I'm texting my cousin and a friend in San Diego, and at this point wish I dosed with someone else. Altho in all fairness, I had no idea I'd actually trip I assumed I'd just feel a buzz. The euphoria was something so strong, I had more than enough of it: I wanted to share it. With my friends. With my cousin. With everyone. I remember texting J and saying 'Get as much of this stuff as you can and stockpile it as if there's a nuclear war coming. Then when there is a nuclear war, dose all the survivors so that there's never a nuclear war again.' I get like that when and after tripping sometimes, where suddenly it seems to be the solution to all of the world's problems. Tho not as naive as I was in high school when I thought everyone everywhere should eat acid, I do still hold true the belief that it can change the world for the better when used positively.

Between the 5th and 6th hour the effects faded rapidly, mentally anyway, to where by hour six I felt essentially back to baseline mentally, with the periodic resurgences in intensity that acid does, in its wave-like manner. The visuals dulled down to between 1/3 to 2/3 of peak intensity at any given time for the rest of the night. Tho as I said, at this point the visuals just kind of happen. Brighter colors, shiftiness of objects, etc. I watched Family Guy until maybe 5am, t+11 hrs, wide awake until out of the blue I fell asleep.

This experience was overwhelmingly positive for me. I haven't had a spiritual checkup in ages, which is exactly what acid supplies for me. You may take it to get fucked up, and you will get fucked up. When used for the right purposes tho this is a beautiful chemical. I only wish that I was able to share the experience and euphoria with others, at least one other. But soon I will trip with my cousin and do just that. And oh boy, I can't wait to see what a whole tab does!!

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 111044

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Jun 11, 2018	Views: 1,755

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LSD (2) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)