		 DOSE:

		 4 drops
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

To say that I have tasted the purity of reason is an understatement. The human mind is certainly a beautiful product of evolution. The world is full of amazing processes and cycles, and to even begin to understand some of these is an incredible experience, one which will surely change my life forever. Like many people before me, I have always been intrigued by the subconscious, that which is the very fabric of our dreams, that which explains our actions to an extreme amount of detail, and of course that which frees us from the everyday worries that we are faced with in this society. And whatever actions I chose to take in the past, it all culminated to a single day, which will forever be imprinted in my head as 'the best goddamn day of my life'.

It all started one day, when a friend tells me that he is able to obtain a vial containing liquid d-lysergic acid diethylamide or 'LSD'. This was joyous to me, simply because LSD had provided me with amazing and fun experiences in the past, and this time it could be repeated with LSD in a form that was both pure and potent. Needless to say a few friends and I purchased a bottle, and we each took a total of four drops of this mystical substance.

I was not new to psychedelics at this stage of my life, having dabbled in Mushrooms, LSD, Salvia Divinorum and Morning Glory seeds. So it was surprising for me that I had difficulty at the beginning of this voyage in that I did not have any hold over the experience.  This was by far the highest dose of LSD (considering how diluted earlier doses were, in comparison) I have ever taken, and that was quite evident in the initial body load. We made the decision to go somewhere out in nature, after having noticed the amazing visual changes that come with an acid trip in the home we had dropped it in.  Seeing nature has proven to be very successful at 'saving' the experience in the past. Sure enough, we were still uncomfortably vulnerable to everything around us, but somehow we found solace in our own thoughts. We began debating about various topics, such as what it meant to be human, what it meant to think, and what everything else meant to us. We were surely an odd looking group of people walking in strange ways around a church playground, but this did not bother us all that much.  Near dusk, we sat on a curb, as we talked about life. At this point, everything I knew about the 'self' began to dissolve.  Slowly but surely, our egos melded into the immense cosmic energy that enveloped us.

The sunset came right as the dissolution of our egos was completed. A spectacle of color blending into air, and air blending into color. Never before had I seen something so moving, so inspiring, so true. I could nearly taste the colors in the sky, needless to say I truly understood The Beatles when they sang about 'marmalade skies'. It felt as if we had been under the influence of the substance for days, however it was only six in the afternoon, and had only been four hours since we noticed the initial effects of the drug. All of these overwhelming emotions of abiding joy and happiness indicated that we were getting into a lot more than we bargained for, and we were about to find why.

The confusing reactions of the people around us eventually became nothing more than a cue for us to leave said playground. The walk back to the house was surely a fast one, since I have little recollection of it, surely it was unimportant compared to other events that happened that day. We arrived and we put on some music and relaxed, still talking about the miracle we had witnessed. At this point it was as if all of our egos were combined into a cloud of consciousness that rested directly on top of us. A person in the group could say something, and that thought would be completely understood by everybody in the group. One could say just one word and everyone would be able to follow a slew of topics and intents behind it.

We had been thinking and talking the whole time, debating some of life's greatest mysteries. The house had been painted an intense orange color and the majority of the objects in the bathroom had the same intense color to them. This covered everything and everybody in ever-flowing hues of orange. The air in the room seemed liquid, I could move my hand and it would ripple out the image behind it, leaving trails of my hand in the air. There was about three or four moths inside the room, and their flight patterns were quite evident with the semi-viscous liquid properties the room had taken. They seemed to fly in predictable patterns, that of sine and cosine waves super-imposed on each other, it was quite mind-boggling to see this manifest visually before us. Music had taken amazing properties as well, every note resonated with freedom, with idealistic rebellion. One could put a song into geometric shapes in our head, or taste a certain instrument.

The liberation of our senses was at its peak, and we quickly concluded we were children, seeking the best of tastes, the most intense colors, the most comfortable sensations. My friend had developed an affinity to a penny, he then misplaced this penny, and I gave him a different penny to be the place-holder for his new-found friend. This attempt was of course deemed unacceptable, not even a quarter would be suffice. This was by far one of the most abstract interactions I have had with this person, I truly could not figure out what made that certain penny so valuable, and neither could he. We were truly immersed in a playground for perception. The walls would breathe, the lights would pulsate and our minds were free of judgment, we were in pure bliss.

As much fun as we were having playing with our little lava lamp of a house, it was time to go outside again. During a trip, even if one place seems entirely comfortable, I like to go out and explore my surroundings if I can. Stretch myself. The purpose was to see the lights of the city from the top of the south hills in our city, and we made our way there. The world was drowned in obscurity, and the lights of passing cars felt like immense beams of photons to our eyes. We had noticed that most of the people in the neighborhood still had Christmas lights set up, which made our walk very aesthetically pleasing. The hill seemed to continue into infinity, much like the staircase at the top of the castle in Super Mario 64.

We walked and debated philosophical questions, and the more we reasoned, the more we realized the horrors of our own society. We even referred to the unenlightened people as 'the others', not in a condescending way, but in the fact that they wouldn't understand us just as we didn't understand the society they had created for us. Trees with spirals of soft light around them were our companions in our journey to the top of the hill. As time passed, the air was invaded with the densest fog I have ever witnessed, I could truly see the direction of certain sources of light, much like a laser would in a room that has a smoke machine in place. After an eternity of walking and debating, we realized the top of the hill was in private property, this presented us with another problem. Was man really so vain as to claim 'property' (let alone 'privatize' it!) of a piece of the earth? Have we really become to attached to possessions as to say that it is okay to keep part of the planet all for oneself? Of course, after asking these questions to ourselves, we trespassed.

We could not see the city lights in any way we managed, the fog was too dense. We were kind of tired, we surely walked over a mile up this hill, and that was on an empty stomach. We could not rest there, however, the ground was wet and the air was cold. All we could simply do, was look up. Just like some sort of divine intervention, the fog cleared, the clouds dissipated, and the moon was revealed. My mind began racing with thoughts, with feelings, with truth. Eternal energy was a concept hard to dismiss at this point, were were truly touched by something else. It was our monolith, our apex of human evolution, we could understand the way the universe worked, the reason for seasons, the direction of air, the ever-fractal nature of the cosmos. We were one, not just with ourselves, but with every object in the universe. With every fabric of our being, was the way of the heavens manifested upon us. We were not simply humans anymore, we concluded, we were enlightened.

The walk back must have been twice as long as the walk there, somehow, we ended up far away from our host house. We managed to walk back, safely, and with extreme peace in our hearts. Once we were away from major streets, and were in a familiar neighborhood, we decided to run. Running was so liberating, we could choose any pattern of movement, and we feel the air in our faces, and it felt fantastic. We ran all the way to the house like children, in complete amazement, in everlasting joy. Time dilation was extremely present. It was as if our new existence was conceived at the consumption of the four drops from heaven, and nine months later, at the top of that hill, we were born. We were born because for the first time in our lives, we were simply us.  We had overridden the set of standards society had implanted in us as children, we had set flight after breaking open the cage of consciousness, we had broken free of our chains and gotten out of the cave that Plato describes in his famous allegory. We were free, and there was nothing the world could do about it.

We spent the remaining part of the experience coming up with ways to change society, and we concluded that the only possible way was to inspire people to break their head open, to destroy this horrible machine from the inside out. As we concluded, war was insecurity, it was fear, it was ignorance, the very aspects that governed everybody in our society, and we decided to fight back. As the night passed on, we went out for one last taste of the outside world, and headed on to a different playground. We arrived, as the dawn turned the clouds in the sky into chocolate. And we absorbed it all, we breathe in, we live, we transcend. We walked back, and a black cat started to follow us. It was as if it knew that we weren't going to harm it, I got on my knees to pet the cat. The sound of a purring cat was as beautiful as the sound of a baby's laughter, or the wind flowing through the leaves, I cried on the inside. The cat seemed to want to join us inside the house, we decided not to let it become part of our world, we learned to let go, and we closed the door on its innocent eyes, it did not seem to mind.

As we fell in and out of consciousness, it had been roughly twenty hours since the beginning of it all, we smoked a little cannabis to help us go to sleep, as we had to go back to our normal lives in the morning. The learning we did that day, was pure wisdom. The morning came, the room was not liquid, the walls had stop breathing, the lights were back to normal, but we were still simply ourselves.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 59616

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 22, 2009	Views: 14,541

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LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

The Year 1999 was the year of my very first 'astro-plane' LSD experience. I became what many call an 'adventurer of the unknown', a 'cliff-rider', 'ledge-walker'. I had experienced perception-shifted inducers before, in small doses, but not to this extent with LSD. Mushrooms, sure, but not with LSD.

I knew this girl, who was already graduated, had a kid, but also had a nasty habit with needles. This nasty habit was so strong that it consumed her life. One night she informed me that she had received some interested LSD with pyramids on it. I, as I had been fascinated with perception shifting 'alterations' for a few years now, was enthralled to aquire these from her. When I asked what it would cost, she said 'Just come out with me tonight on this run, and you can have it for free'. Well, how was I to turn that down? A visceral, mystical experience that would be 'given' to me for a little bit of my time?

Well, needless to say, where she took me was a stomach-turning affair. Lets just say that needle-fiends, or even worse, needle-fiends that peddle their wares don't make for a fun companion, even if it was for only a few hours. It was at about midnight when she finally dropped me off at home. I was very disgusted with her, but kept it to myself, after all I could relate with her (her being a human being and me understanding the lure that freedom, ease of pain and thirst for ultimate knowledge). In my pocket, four hits of LSD wrapped in tin foil. I eagerly raced to my basement bedroom and unwrapped the foil. Four, cleanly cut squares lay before me, each revealing either a full or partial dark blue/black pyramid that bore an eye in the center. Intrigued, I prepared myself for a long journey. Closing my door, getting comfortable and dimming the lights, I put on some ambient music and dosed.

Amazing LSD, that is not in droplet form, takes a while to begin. At least in me it does. Of course, the initial muscle weirdness and odd taste begins almost instantly, mostly from the anticipation I believe. I laid in bed and stared up at my popcorn-like ceiling. I had four candles lit, two on the left side of my room, and two on the right side. I had Aphex Twin's 'Ambient' playing softly in the background. At this point, I would like to mention that I still lived with my parents. I was in high school after all. One of the odd things about living at home and having a deep interest in perception-altering things, is that I never knew when my parents might come to check up on me, which is what my father did.

It had been about one hour since I dosed, I was starting to feel the initial effects, when my father opened my door. He wanted to see how I was, he wanted to talk. So we talked. He had no idea what was about to transpire in my bedroom. During our friendly little chat, I could feel a welling deep inside me, pulsating and dancing to the music I had playing in the background. I was staring at the ceiling as I was talking to my father, and I started to notice the odd fractal and flower petal patterns that I always see on LSD. It was beginning. My stomach got the usual 'empty' feeling I get when the experience kicks off. Its like there is a hole in me, a huge one. But not in a bad way. Maybe it was the feeling of becoming very light, of becoming light itself. This is where I faked being tired so that I could be alone. I knew that in a few minutes, I would not even be able to look into my fathers eyes, I would be in another world.

My room was only lit by candlelight, and my body felt like it was racing faster than sound. The fractal patterns and flower petal shapes spilled onto my breathing walls and my swirling carpet, swaying and slithering around like snakes. I loved this part of the experience. I giggled with glee.  The candles flames danced and created the most wonderful, yet frightful shapes all over my room. I grew antsy and could not lie down any longer, I had to pace around. As I got out of my bed, I felt like I immersed myself in water, in a huge ocean. It was very thick, yet smooth. I could feel pressure on my chest, like waves crashing onto me, and my arms and legs had much difficulty moving around. My whole body tingled and pulsated. I started swaying and sort of dancing in a trance to the ambient music, which turned into shapes inside me. I must have danced like that for a long time, yet only a half an hour had passed.

I then decided that I wanted the dark. I blew out the candles, which spilt wax all over the place, and basked in the oddly smelling candle smoke that seemed to fill the darkness. The stereo lights were the only source of illumination, and with it I could see the smoke, as if it was plastic, heavily moving through the air. Once I was immersed in the darkness, I was thrust into another world. A world almost like my bedroom, but vastly different. I got the urge to speak, and I spoke. But every time I said something, it echoed repeatedly, over and over again, like a cycle. I remember feeling that this was very interesting. I must have spoken every word I could muster, just so I could hear it cycle around my room. It was in this precise moment, that I realized that words have power. They are tangible and really heavy things. I watched as my words bounced off of my breathing walls. My words were never harsh, so they bounced lightly and floated through the air.

At this time, the epiphanies and out-of-this-world Deja-vus began. Those realizations of the world, everything in it and my life. My choices, what I needed to do, what I needed to accomplish. Feelings, my feelings, alien feelings surged through me. Visions rattled in front of me. I lost my body and became no-thing, maybe a source of dark light. I floated around my room, which became a grid-like cube. I watched as everything in our known rational world, and everything outside of our rational world was placed somewhere on this grid. I could see it all. I danced around the planets and stars, played with every animal I had ever seen, and bathed in an endless ocean of energy that envigorated me.

The next thing I remember was that I was in/on my bed. I couldn't tell because my body was gone still. Something caught my attention, the grid-like world dissolved and I saw a mirror. My bedroom mirror. In its reflection, I could see this teddy bear that a girl had given me, it danced around and spoke to itself. It even made angry, almost menacing faces/gestures at me. I got scared, which made me laugh to myself, and I stuck my tongue out at it and made raspberry sounds. Then, I got this sudden urge to push my face up against my mirror. I wanted to touch this mirror, smell it, pass through it. In its reflection I could see what looked like my bedroom, but it was somehow different. I wanted so badly to stick my arm inside the mirror, but I was taken aback by an image that began to materialize. I saw towering sky scrapers, those found in big cities, toppling, crumbling and being destroyed. I could literally see this right before me, in the mirror. I remember feeling that the world was ending. That humanity was to pay for our disgressions and our harm to all living things that we feel are 'inferior'. 'This was it' I felt. It turned around and behind me more building were crumbling, as if massive giants brought to their knees.

I saw flying beings swooping down from the blackened sky, doing things I could not see, or things that were so far beyond that I had never seen them before. These were not angels, but dragon-lizard like beings. They looked at me and told me, without words, that they were ancient and far older than anything humans had ever known of. They were not dinosaurs or anything like that. I asked them where they were from, not in words, yet they would not tell me. I sensed that they were deeply linked to Earth somehow. They were not like the dragons from story books, more ancient, and more 'real'. Terrifying. I thought they wanted to hurt me and I felt massive fear. It was then that my body came back. I felt it weigh me down and slump me onto my bed. The fear welled up so great that I cowered on my bed.

I noticed then that the music had changed, I could hear clanging industrial music playing, that of a Nine Inch Nails remix song. I saw the world ending to the beat of this song. Buildings turned to rubble, massive holes punched into the cities, people dying everywhere. Massive pits of dead bodies and skeletons.

I could not remember what had happened after that, but my bedroom was back, and I did not feel the fear anymore. I way laying on my stomach, staring at the darkness. The images were still in my head, and I really wanted to know who those lizard-dragon type beings were and what relation they had to earth. Yet, everything dissolved and I was on a new train of feelings. I had discovered my physical body again and began exploring the sensation of my body. I rolled and squirmed around on the carpet, and played with my hands, my hair. I watched the wonderful fractal patterns dance around my room, and in my eyelids.

I could tell that the LSD was taking its course. The peaks were done, all that was left was the coming down.

And this is the part that I dread the most, especially with LSD that is 'dirty'. Don't get me wrong, this was great LSD, but in terms of purity, it felt like the 'bottom barrel' left-overs. Strycnine heaven! My body ached, like it had been turned inside out and back in again. My head reeled from twisting visions and flower petal designs that over took my room. This is when I glanced at my alarm clock, which I had forgotten existed (I forgot about time itself), and noticed that I would have to go to school in about 4 hours! I panicked, but then realized that I would come down before then.

The last hours of my experience were of a calm and resting nature. Pretty soon I was tired, worn out, like I had experienced too much in one night. Its a usual feeling after an intense trip. Like I have traversed many worlds in the span of a moment. When the sun was shining and it was about 7am, I got ready for school and tried to eat some cereal. I stared into my bowl, watching the milk and thinking about what I had seen on my journey. I felt like I knew a forbidden secret (a feeling that is most prevalent during my perception-shifting experiences), some hidden knowledge or wisdom that the rest of the world did not. Thats when I realized that those who take perception shifters are walking the path of the shaman. It is the shamans task to explore the unknown, learn the vast secrets of the universe and bring them back to our dimension.

This turned out to be my very first 'intense' LSD experience, but it would not be the most intense, or my last.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 60279

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 13, 2009	Views: 16,416

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LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 3 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 7 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis - Hash
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

The events that follow were after I consumed 3 hits of unbelivably strong acid.

Yesterday I had the craziest trip of my life, it started by running through miles of woods with no idea where we were going, it didn't matter, we were free, sprinting through the woods like tribesman with no care in the world, the sun was peaking through the canopy and I was with two of my best friends one of whom was being introduced to the world of psychadelics. I felt like an animal, I didn't have to think where each step would go my mind would see an area of terrain and would instinctually make sure that I made the right step, I was galloping at full speed wisping in and out of the brush winding in and out of trees hurdling over logs nature was one with me and I was one with nature.

While we ran we were singing and yelling what sounded like tribal chants creating waves of vibrations that intertwined with the nature of the forest with the consciousness of all. There was positive archaic nature energy all around my 2 friends and I it was as if we had energy fields and we meshed with the forest, one of my favorite parts was climbing a 15 foot tree and overlooking the entire canopy and the ground watching the life emerge beneath the leaves it was as if everything was alive and thriving. My friends and I at one point hugged this gigantic near 100 foot tree for about 3 minutes meshing with the ancient energy of this tree.

As we were running and chanting with not a care in the world I was trying to explain my ideas of consciousness, the universal oneness of everything and the duality that exists in everything. It seemed as if my linguistic ability had evolved, everything flowed together with a rhythm, my mind was on point. Every word was connatated with a feeling and a visual, I was trying to describe to my friends the pure radiant light of empathy and love and inter-connectedness with everything. As I described it, it felt like the feeling was re-emerging into all three of us, the sea of infinite pure radiant energy was showing its true nature to us. I explained the duality in everything, night and day, sun and moon, up and down, left and right, awake and asleep, conscious and unconscious, life and death, the paridox of everything.

I told them to imagine the 5 chakras as a life force that flowed from the abdomen through the spine as an open flow of energy to the crown chakra and I explained the colors connated with the chakras and the feelings associated with those colors. I told them to imagine this life force flowing to the crown chakra and out of the body through the pineal gland into the sea of light, how I let go of individualistic, materialistic desire, to free myself of negativity, to focus on the pure light.

After about three hours of running through the forest we decided it was time to head back. We finally made our way out of the woods and through campus back to the apartment. When we were discussing the trip, the woods and life we felt like there was some sort of telepathy between us, we could finish each others sentances. We could read each others body langauges, there was no avoiding truth, a negative feeling was seen just as it was, there was no avoiding truth, truth was translucent for all to see. We turned on some loud surround sound music and just veged out feeling the vibration of the music consume us.

About an hour of hanging in the apartment 2 more people showed up as well as a dealer with more acid and the 2 new people consumed hits and the dealer talked to us about how he ate 20 hits and wouldn't think twice about eating an entire sheet. To me this was insane and there was a negative energy about him, he didn't seem to be observing the beauty of things or to be looking for introspective psycho-analysis he seemed to be escaping his life and he looked as if his brain was mangled. He had a dull facial expression and signs of sorrow in his eyes.

After the new people entered the apartment things started to go south for me, it seemed as one of the people who had entered the apartment had a very negative aura. Every time I was close to him its as if his aura was feeding on mine, my entire body would get hot and I felt as if something was ripping at me and trying to tear me apart. I was not the only one to feel this, my friend J also felt as I did, he looked at me multiple times and he didn't even have to say anything, he felt it to. The only thing on my mind at this point was to remove myself from the negative energy and to return back to nature.

I left the apartment and sat on the stoop to smoke a cigaret with J. Both he and I were mystified at how there was this very negative energy surrounding and consuming P. I have been friends with P for a long time but there was something about him that wasn't right. J had a great positive aura and our energies meshed to form an even better energy. I was starting to enjoy my trip again when P exited the apartment and came outside with us. Instantly this hot horrible energy was consuming me, my mouth was dry and I felt this overwhelming feel of dread the only thing on my mind was to get away from P. J and I would walk away from him and P would follow not understanding what the problem was and we didn't want to tell him because most people won't react very well if you tell them they have an extremely negative aura about them and we don't want to be near it. Especially when he just consumed 3 hits of acid so that he could trip with us.

After a while it seemed as if P gave up and returned back to the apartment to hangout with Z and the others. J and I were trying to decide what to do because we couldn't be with this negative energy, it was creating this awful feeling of dread and all I wanted to do was leave. We went inside to borrow someone's phone and as we enter I was instantly confronted with this wave of unbearably hot energy flowing throughout this dark apartment with surround sound death metal and P grotesqley chewing this brownie. He wasn't talking of positive he was seeing the negative in everything, gorging himself and being demeaning while listening to hardcore death metal. This honestly freaked me out beyond belief I have never been confronted with such a negative, hot, awful energy it was as if was pure evil and trying to wrap himself around me and deplete my positive energy. I was not going to let this happen I immidiately left the apartment.

J and I started to trip each other out with the negative energy and the only thing we could talk about was getting a ride out of here and going to his roomates birthday party, we ended up walking around the neighborhood and talking about the negative energy and positive vs. negative. This is when J also started to turn negative he wanted to return the house and his aura was repelling mine, this freaked me out to another degree, I asked him if he wanted to be good and he started to walk away from me. He started to head toward the negative energy in the apartment so I took off the other way. This is when I started to go apeshit.

I entered this unbelievable headtrip the only thing I wanted to do was bathe myself in the pure sea of light, to escape the constraints of the physical world. I wanted to have full dissolution of the ego. All I could think about was God and being closer to him, I wanted to join back with the universe and God and all the good entities of the cosmos. I started to sing in this loud archaic voice expressing my love for the omnipotent, praising the universe, crying out for the negative, I was consumed by this unbelivable powerful primordial energy that was exploding within me. At this time the blades of grass turned into millions, the frame of apartments shifted and intertwined, it was getting dark and reality seemed to be like a carnival. I saw this gigantic white light and knew that I had to go near it I had to enter into the light it was the only thing to do to escape the negativity all around me. As I got closer to the light I felt this strong urge to merge with it, to become one with it, to cease to exist to leave the physical realm. This is when my head slammed into the light post and I was knocked unconscious.

When I woke up there were cops and paramedics all around me, I felt as if I was watching my body. I thought this was it, I thought I was dead. There was 4 police officers and a few paramedics huddled around me asking me all these questions. I thought these were the gatekeepers. I thought that I was only able to see them now because I was dead. I thought they were here to either take me to hell or to take me to heaven (this isn't necessarily the catholic or any version of heaven or hell it was just the negative or the positive). They asked me all these questions and at this point my pupils had to be quarters, I was peaking off of 3 hits of very very strong acid and had been smoking hash and pot all night.

They thought I was drunk but I certainly wasn't drunk, they asked me if I had been smoking crystal or doing heroin or tripping or smoking crack, I eventually must of uttered the words that I was tripping on acid because they eventually found out. I kept asking if they were the good people, and at this point it gets a little fuzzy and I honestly think they thought the situation to be quite humorous and weren't doing anything to make me any more calm. They put handcuffs on me extremely tight and kept shining a light in my eyes and saying wierd stuff. I thought that the gatekeepers had decided that I was not good, that I was a bad person so they must take me to hell. At this point I started to struggle I tried to run away and I nearly succeeded as I was tripping balls and I'm in pretty good physical shape, the three male police officers ended up restraining me and throwing me in the back of the car.

The entire ride to the police station is extremely extremely fuzzy, the police officer didn't say a word the entire time and It didn't even click that I was being taken to jail. What my mind kept telling me is I was dead, and I was being sent to hell because the primordial energy force had decided I was bad. This freaked me the fuck out. I also didn't realize that in my pocket was about 20g of hash and a bowl, I wouldn't find this out till the next morning.

After pulling into the police station I was pretty much in and out of awareness. I remember them putting the jump suit on me and laying on the concrete ground. Eventually I was lead to a cell and they told me to walk in, I entered and then realized (in my mind) that this was a hell cell, I had to do anything I possibly could to get myself out of there. So before he shut the door I ran out, he put me back in the cell but I ran out again. I was not going to go willingly into this hell cell, there was no way. Eventually he managed to get the helldoor shut and I was locked in this concrete room with a not even foot by foot window on the cell door. There was dirt and sticky shit all over the metal bench and beds. And a metal toilet with brown dirt and rings all over it.

At this point I nearly went insane, as far as I knew I was in hell, locked away in this room forever, it was hot in the cell, there was constant running water that dripped as if it was chinese water torture. There were all kinds of people that I couldn't see (in my mind hell beings) that were coughing and weezing and banging on the doors and then I hurd blood curdling screams (I think this was auditory hallucinations from the barely audible TV that seemed to be somewhere off in the distance). So peaking in a nasty jail cell with water dripping and screams and pounding while believing I was in hell freaked me the fuck out.

The only thought in my mind was to call out to god and the universe and beg for mercy to plead with the life force to let me out. Everyone I had ever encountered in my life was visualized I tried to picture my interactions with them good and bad. I felt that I had lived a good life, always trying to think about others and to treat people with respect, I loved people, I loved my girlfriend I tried to do anything I could to help my Mom I just didn't understand why I had been sent to hell. I started to sing I love God, I am sorry for all the negative I have done, I want to be with you (this sounds a bit corny but think about what you would do if you were locked in a jail cell peaking on 3 hits of strong acid and thought that you were in hell and hallucinating people screaming) and I was singing it in the best most passionate primordial voice I could. I did this for hours (these people probably thought I lost my fucking marbles but they didn't understand what was going through my head).

At one point I stopped singing and started to look at this small mirror and my faced was completely flushed, hair was going in 9 diferent directions, pupils were quarters and my face was morphing into all kinds of evil things. This took me to another level, I thought this meant I truly was evil, that God was right, and that I deserved to be tortured and stuck here forever without food or water. I believed that if I drank out of the faucet that I would start to weeze like the other people (I think they were weezing because they were cigaret smokers for 20 years and smoked meth). One more thing I did to confirm that I was in hell was check the tag on my jumpsuit and it seemed as if the maker of the jumpsuit was a primordial joke. It said made by Bob Barker (I thought Bob Barker from price is right this was just done as a joke by the evil force) and underneath that it said tumble dry (I thought hell and dryness... obviously that was the washing directions but I didn't understand at the time).

Eventually I started to come down and was wondering if I was really in Hell or if it was just a jail cell, at this point recalling the gatekeeper encounter it was so funny. I wouldn't figure out everything till I talked to people who watched me get arrested and until I talked with the cops. Eventually I got a cop to talk to me for 15 minutes because I told her I was going insane, I thought god sent me to hell and I didn't understand what I had done. She told me I was in jail and I would be let out in about 12 hours. This instantly made me come down and I felt 300% better, I thanked her for giving me a minute and telling me what had happened and what was going on. She proceeded to tell me drugs ruin lives and she knows of people who did drugs one time and became addicted yada yada yada drugs are bad.

The rest of the night was uneventful and was spent pacing the cell and meditating on everything that had happened. The next morning I bailed myself out and was let out, I learned that I was charged with Drug paraphanalia, and disorderly conduct for trying to run away. What I thought was quite humorous is I wasn't charged for the hash and it was left in my pants pocket. I walked to McDonalds ordered some food and told the guy at the register what happened he offered to drive me back to my college and I payed him in hash for the ride. Craziest night of my life, will never ever do acid again.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72910

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 31, 2009	Views: 36,592

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LSD (2), Police / Customs (60) : Bad Trips (6), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (dried)

		 1 drop
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   11 kg

After much deliberation, i eventually took it, one drop- the sweetest sugar cube id tasted. A lot of people had been telling how good it was, the certain batch that is, they said something about 250. I couldn’t tell you what they meant. They were right though…

I was expecting a nasty flavour. i was by no means relaxed, id smoked a joint previously and found myself wrought with paranoia, i delayed taking acid for a while, until the feeling subdued. it was an acid party, although, there were only 3 people i was aware had took it, myself included. The party had a relaxed vibe, some dub playing very loudly. The paranoia - which soon died - was replaced as the acid began to rise, with a feeling of being extremely stoned, possibly because id been smoking funk. To my surprise, i was very relaxed. i had noticed id become isolated, people busied themselves around, but i didn’t mind. i was told that this would happen, that id get introspective. The bass was the first visual i noticed. i could see it in the slates of the roof 'breathing', the speakers themselves seemed to smile as they gently affected everything around. Colours pulsated, movements glided and elongated.

I found myself with a constant smile, and was very appreciative of the others company, those that had done acid, because i felt at home with the feeling, in control. a friend who was not present at the party came to collect me (we had planned a smoke in his village), but before we went i felt an overwhelming urge to walk, though i didn’t know where. We went to the park. It was at this point i started to feel a cramp in my stomach, it was uncomfortable. i remember feeling that somehow this cramp was the source of my 'power', the ability to see all the beauty i had overlooked for so long. Luckily, the cramp lasted for only 10 or so minutes, about 2 hours after taking the acid. The car ride was delightful, the rain in particular was a source of great amusement and wonder, though i couldn’t explain to you why. Id had this feeling earlier in the park, and it prevailed throughout the trip, at a loss for words, possibly because they don’t exist. Id felt a connection, something, between me and my friend. i couldn’t begin to describe what. i tried very hard to no avail. Whatever it was though, it made me happy.

Anyway, i carefully avoided his dad when we got to his house, though i couldn’t escape without having to reply to his question. this was possibly the most uncomfortable i felt though the trip, i was wholly aware that only i understood the coherence of my words, the exited my mouth with little meaning but stayed in my head with resolute potency. i think i blagged it, I avoided eye contact and thought very hard about the conventional meaning of the word I was about to use. Words lost their meaning. Things just were, they didn’t need to be explained but felt. I said something about revision and hurried off. Shortly after, we went for our smoke. the rain was a pleasure, the darkness of the looming clouds, black, was quickly brightened by a minutes gaze. it seemed as though the sun shone wherever i looked, intensely, but only where i looked. I could chase the darkness out of the fields with a simple trace of the eye, I could chase the darkness out of me, I was so content to stand in the rain.

Leaves and trees unfurled in to symmetrical displays of colour and movement, they looked like fractals. Thoughts seared through my head like a dream, they seemed to echo and build upon each other in layers. I never once felt like my mind was out of control. The grass moved like water, the horizon bobbed gently, it looked as though i was by the shore. It looked like a pastel landscape. i kept on feeling the nameless emotions and connections, contradictions made perfect sense. i never did understand the line in strawberry fields forever 'i mean it must be high or low', but it makes perfect sense now. That is why words fail, there are so many semantics, pragmatics, contexts in play, the only way they can be described or manifested is in the indescribable feeling itself.

I felt like i had been tripping for most of the day, though i didn’t have a watch so i didn’t know. i rolled a cigarette, but smoking felt too comfortable, the smoke went down unfelt, i threw it away. I told myself I was never going to smoke again, though, I still do. it struck me how little i had eaten and drunk all day, next to nothing, yet i had no appetite for either. I played with a friends mobile phone, it felt natural. I remember saying the phone was like eyelashes. I couldn’t feel my thumbs, the phone just felt like part of my body. This set off a wave of thought, all the technology that’s assimilated so quickly, the relationship that now exists between man and machine, the boundaries of both merging forever closer. i rolled another cigarette (i dont know why), and during this another friend joined us. They were obviously curious about how i was feeling, what it was like etc. Words, yet again, failed me. i told them that, visually, it was “cool”. i remarked that the tobacco looked like living moss, it just glowed in the rizla and made symmetrical patterns.

One friend said they wouldn’t like that, or something along those lines. at this point, it looked as though the tobacco moved more akin to little caterpillars or maggots, and started crawling up my fingers. i was able to shake this off, however i was took back by the change in vibe i felt. i had managed to feel comfortable again. i warned my friends not to doubt anything i said, to keep the conversation normal. They did this well. The only other disconcerting feeling was i felt like i was going mad. i was sitting on a swing in the rain, and it struck me that my thoughts were obviously peculiar, but they were crystal clear despite the fact they could never materialise beyond my mouth, my words came out muddled and nonsensical.

I felt like I was perceiving things from too many angles and that my delirious happiness from earlier in the day was me slowly going mad. I also grew worried that I would become addicted to LSD, despite never having tried it previously. I hated the idea that I would need it to ever feel the almost universal connection I felt. Again, this feeling went after i relaxed, but it was a frightening thought. We went home shortly after and watched sin city. This seemed to drain the hallucinations out of me, the film looked bloody fantastic, the best id ever seen it. Afterwards, i felt tired, like after a heavy smoke, but was restless. i lay there in bed, eyes wide, and waited until i could sleep. i took about 2 hours.

I highly recommend acid. i knew little about it, all i knew was pretty much the public perception. it was a completely different experience to what I was expecting. it was spiritual and deeply eye opening, if only i could remember all the thoughts i had, if only i could convey the ones i remember. I would recommend staying with people on a similar wavelength, in hindsight I should have stayed put at the party. Though, I was fine and comfortable with my friends. Only when they questioned my reality, comparing it to theirs, did I start to unnerve. As I mentioned, I was able to correct any issues. The only negative effect that I could gather was the restlessness when it came to sleep, but it was worth it.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 63617

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 3, 2010	Views: 36,019

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LSD (2) : Various (28), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:30
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   200 lb

I had been doing psychedelics for about a year before this.  My first trip, on LSD, changed my life.  I went from a lazy but intelligent bum who didn't care too much about school to an incredibly motivated student overnight.  That being my first trip, and it having such a profoundly positive effect on me, LSD has been my favorite drug ever since.  I've tried a few other psychedelics - shrooms, 2-CE, and salvia - but they've only ever just been fun and didn't really have any profound effect on my life.  Subsequent acid trips weren't as life-altering, but I had never had a bad trip.  I had never tripped incredibly hard, either.  That would change this day.

My friends and I had just acquired some blotter paper that was supposed to be extremely potent.  I've had very weak acid before (my first trip was on 7 hits of some pathetically weak stuff), and thought I had very strong acid, but I was wrong.  My friends and I all decided to take two hits.  One of my friends had tried it earlier in the week and said that we were in for a crazy ride.

15 minutes after dropping, I started to feel the effects.  That's much quicker than acid usually works for me - I'm usually the slow one that doesn't experience anything for an hour and half.  My friend offers me some weed.  I'm not a huge fan of weed, but it has always enhanced my trips in the past, so I figure why not.  I should mention that weed affects me differently than most people - just getting moderately high makes me start tripping while on no other drugs, and smoking while tripping usually more than doubles the intensity of the trip.

After smoking, all the patterns around the house start becoming much more intense and apparent.  I had only dropped like 30 minutes earlier, and this was usually something I didn't start seeing until a good two hours after dropping.  I go into my friend's room and we chill for a good 10-15 minutes.  My friend owns a sitar, and every single note I played on it sent an orgasmic feeling running up and down my spine.  I notice that the room is starting to look like a forest.  That was sort of weird - I had never tripped so hard that the room transformed.  Eventually, the entire room was a forest, with my friends sitting on what looked like tree stumps, and the sitar looked like a bamboo tree.  I could still play it like an instrument, but this was starting to creep me out.

Next, a movie was put into the TV.  I can't recall the name of it, but it's a rotoscope film about a post-apocalyptic future where everyone is hooked on drugs.  I hadn't seen it before, but the intro was very unsettling.  Some guy wakes up covered in insects, and he is jittery and afraid.  I start to have irrational thoughts - what if I'M covered in insects?!  My heart starts racing faster and faster.  I can hear it pounding in my chest.  I pull out my phone and see that it hasn't even been an hour since I dropped.  Realizing that this is the start of a bad trip, I decide to try and do something about it.  I start thinking that I should call the hospital.  I open up my phone and start to dial 911, but luckily I stop myself and decide to see if I can calm myself down by heading to my room.

I leave the room and walk down the hallway.  Another one of my sober friends grabs me and brings me into his room.  He shows me a picture of some sort of angel shaped cloud on his computer, and I think that the angel is coming out of the screen and I just run out of the room wordlessly, doubtlessly confusing him (he didn't know that I was tripping).  I continued down the hallway, and it felt like the entire hallway was collapsing on me.  The ceiling, floor, and walls were all curved inwards.  As I walked down the hallway, parts of my vision began to look like fireflies, popping in and out of existence.  I thought that this was pretty cool, but my heart was still pounding in my chest.  That was the only sound I heard.

I get to my room and spend a minute or two pacing back and forth.  I still had some of my wits about me, so I tried to calm myself down by just thinking.  That wasn't working, so I left my room and visited a very experienced psychonaut friend of mine down the hallway, who was sober.  I asked him what to do if I was having a bad trip.  He had never had a bad trip, but he told me to just try to calm down and remember all the fun trips I had had.  I told him that I wanted to go to the hospital, and he said that that wouldn't do anything.  They would just strap me down and I'd have to wait there until the trip was over, which would doubtlessly be even more miserable.  For some reason, the fact that the hospital couldn't help me calmed me down a tiny bit.  I was on my own - I had to calm myself down.

I was sitting down on his couch, but the entire world was wavering and shifting - sort of like going back and forth over an entire image with the blur tool in photoshop.  The only colors I saw were dismal greys and blues.  I thought the couch was going to lift up off the ground.  My heart was still pounding, but I was still managing to keep my wits about me.  Part of me was telling myself that there was nothing to be worried about - I was just sitting on a couch, and nothing was happening around me.  My subconscious was panicking for no reason.  I nervously glance at my phone over and over.  Minutes seemed like days.

Another psychedelic-experienced but sober friend of mine comes into the room.  He has had a bad trip before, and starts relating to me very well.  This isn't helping very much, but I notice that my mind is starting to drift away from reality.  I felt like I was going to pass out from the unbelievably intense anxiety I was feeling, and this was very soothing to me.  I definitely wanted to pass out.  As I feel like I'm drifting out of consciousness, I start tripping far beyond what I knew tripping could be like.  Rivers of beautiful color started rushing past my head, strange green tentacles with eyeballs began growing out of the floor, and the world itself was dissolving.

The next thing I remember is floating on my back in a warm yellow colored river.  It is calm and serene, and I have no idea who I am or where I am.  That was OK, though.  I am floating towards an amazing mansion made out of red light.  The sky is made out of shimmering green and blue jewels.  Instead of grass, the ground is just a translucent green color.  My worries and anxieties were completely gone.

Next, my dream world shifts.  All I see is a very expensive looking leatherbound book, floating in a sea of color.  The book opens, and the golden pages fill with words.  I can read the words, but I do not know their meaning.  Very slowly, meaning comes back into the world.  I start to understand the words.  I feel like I'm very young again, learning to read for the first time.  I realize that I'm reading my own biography.  I then realize that I've completely forgotten who I am.  The panic starts again.  I fear that I've completely lost my mind.  I don't remember taking a drug - I don't even remember what a drug is.  I start feeling as though I've gone completely insane.

This panic attack isn't nearly as strong as the earlier one.  Instead, I feel a mad scramble to memorize what is written in my biography so that I can remember who I was.  In the book is my name, my major, where I go to school, the names of some of my friends...  They all look completely foreign to me.  Moreover, my biography is telling me that I took something called 'LSD', a drug that makes the world seem crazy.  I have no idea what LSD is, or what drugs are.  My entire universe still consists of this book floating in a sea of color.

After a few minutes of this, reality starts leaking back into my head.  I realize that the book I was holding is actually a piece of paper my friend gave me, because I had been sitting on the couch asking who I was.  He tells me to just keep reading the paper over and over, and I'll start to remember all of it.  He calms my mind by describing to me exactly how I feel - that I've gone insane and forgotten that I've taken a drug.  He tells me that the same thing has happened to him before, and he is still here.  He tells me that I had just been sitting on the couch for the past half hour, and I'm just fine.

I still feel like I need to memorize the facts on the paper, since I don't remember who anyone is or what anything is.  I do need to pee really bad, though.  I carry my piece of paper with me to the bathroom so that I don't forget who I am.  After peeing, I come back to the room and notice that the paper is gone.  This is very frightening to me, since I see losing the paper as a metaphor for losing myself.  My friend quickly runs and brings it back to me.  This soothes me.

After some talking, I am pulled out of the pit of despair and begin having an amazing trip.  I start to remember who I am, and everything seems new again.  I feel like I have been reborn.  My entire psyche was pulled apart and then rebuilt, and I have survived.  The world seems fresh and interesting.  The rest of the day was spent in absolute euphoria, as I gleefully enjoyed every sensation as though it was brand new again.

Overall, the trip was definitely a positive experience.  Being pulled out of absolute misery by my friends made me appreciate friendship on a whole new level.  Even bad trips can be an opportunity for growth.  That being said, my next trip was pretty much a train wreck.  It wasn't a bad trip in the normal sense, it was just an entire day of feeling very physically unpleasant followed by a week of snappiness.  It's taken a couple of months for my mind to return to almost-normal, and I've been avoiding psychedelics in the interim until I feel completely ready to head back down the rabbit hole.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 78253

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 23, 2010	Views: 18,108

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

Okay, so I guess you could say that I used to be quite the psychonaut.  I was no stranger to doing drugs.  At the time, I had already done acid probably about a hundred times, and I had eaten up to ten hits before and been just fine.  I think that just goes to show how our minds react to psychedelics in different ways, without our control.  I will say that I think that I learned a lot from acid, but I will also say that I also screwed my mind and soul up for the rest of my life.  Ever since this horrible night, I have not been the same.  It is something that I still think about and try to figure out to this day, even though there is nothing to figure out.

So anyway, it started out like many other Fridays for me, I went to school and by the end of the day, I had scored 2 hits acid from this chick that I knew usually had quality products.  She called it white fluff, but to me, it just looked like the regular old white blotter that was so popular in s. fla. in the mid-90's.  So after school, I went home, dropped off my backpack and proceeded to the bus stop where I would ride the city bus to my friends house about 30 miles away like I did every weekend.  While I was on the bus, I decided to drop the acid.  It was about a half-hour ride to the mall, where I had to transfer to another bus.  It was while sitting at the mall, waiting for the bus that I noticed it taking effect.  I was looking out into the parking lot and I saw some cars begin to stretch and bend.  Ahhh, now that's what I was waiting for.

So the bus arrived and I hopped on, still feeling pretty mellow.  For the next 20 minutes or so, it was rather mild, I could hear everyone on the bus talking, and I would hear everything they were saying.  It was not until I got to my destination bus stop that it really hit me.  As I stepped off the bus, as soon as I walked out into the late afternoon sun, it was like walking into another world.  Colors were radiating from everything.  Cars driving by had trails that seemed to go on forever.  Now I knew I was finally tripping.  As I was walking to my friend V's house, my mind was racing, going from one thing to another, all kinds of crazy thoughts manifesting themselves, which I knew was normal, I had been there before.  Then all of a sudden, I found myself saying, 'No, I’m not going to go on a bad trip tonight.'  I had never had a thought like this while tripping, and it kind of alarmed me, but I tried to put it away and think of something else.

I got to V's house and no one was home.  I decided to wait, because I knew they would be home soon.  I sat in a lounge chair on the side of his house and watched the colors swirl and bend and spiral into infinity.  I felt strange, quite different, like something big was about to happen, and I didn't know why.

He finally got home and he had just come from the dentist and was all fucked up on vicodin, talking slowly, and to me, in my acid drenched mind, he was slurring his speach and I couldn't understand what the hell he was saying.  We went inside began watching tv.  The show that was on that night was called Strange Luck, and this particular episode was about this little black cube that everyone wanted, but when they got it, all kinds of bad things would happen to them.  Needless to say, this was not the right show to watch.

I asked V to smoke a bowl with me, thinking it would calm me down.  Boy was I wrong.  With every toke I took, the world got more and more unnoticable.  I had to get up to get something to drink, and on my way to the fridge, I thought I noticed that every move I was making, every step I took, was exactly what was happening on the tv.  I began to think that v was fucking with me.  I knew he was really good with computers and I began thinking he was some sort of computer wizard and he had me in some sort of virtual reality computer game.  This is when it all started going WAY downhill.

V could see I was getting a little edgy, so he asked if I wanted to go to Bo's house down the street (Bo was an older guy in his late 20's at the time and he was our mentor in these areas).  I said yes, because I knew he would know how to make it all better.  We walked outside and into the street, as soon as we began walking in the direction of bo's house, this huge pickup truck drove by us and for some reason, it really freaked me out.  I looked down at the ground and I could see the ground moving by under my feet, but when I looked up, I was not moving, I felt I was going nowhere.  At this point I could tell that I could not distinguish reality.  I looked a V and grabbed hold of him to make sure he was real, I told him to just take me back to V's house over and over again (I thought he was a cop and he was leading me into a trap).  I guess I kind of scared him and he though I was going to hit him, so he turned and took off.

So here I am, in the middle of the street, out of my mind, and my best friend/cop/narc just went running back to his house.  At this point I have no idea where I am, nothing looks familiar, and begin to think I’m dreaming, some sort of nightmare.  So I ran over to the side of some stranger’s house and laid down in the grass, thinking that if I went to sleep, I would wake up in my bed, and it would all be over.

Boy was I wrong.  As I was laying in the grass, I could actually feel hands coming up from the ground trying to pull me down.  I thought that these were demons and they were trying to pull me into hell.  I could hear this strange music, sounded like out of tune violin strings mixed with fingernails running down a chalkboard.  I got up and went and sat down on the curb in front of these people's house.  I thought I had finally lost my mind.  I could see myself locked up in the looney bin, with a straight jacket and all.  It was at this time that the people whose house I was sitting in front of came home.  They drove up and I immediatly walked up to their car and asked them to roll their windows down.  I could see the look in their faces and they were terrified.  Understandable I suppose.  I told them I had taken too much acid and I needed to go to the hospital.  I asked them to call 911 and my mom.

So I’m standing outside their house as they go inside, completly flipping out.  I gave them my phone # and they called my mom.  I heard them say that I could come inside and talk to my mom.  I got on the phone and was screaming to my mom 'Mom, I have no idea what’s going on!!  I can't tell what’s real and what’s not!!'  She asked me if one of the girls were there (one of the girls that had called her) and I took this to mean that I was in a whore house and my mother knew these people and she was a prostitute.  I dropped the phone and just began screaming and crying because I had no idea what was going on.  I thought my mom was a prostitute, that I had been abducted by aliens and this was some kind terrible mind experiment, and somehow I was set up to all this.

Just then I notice lights flashing outside and I hear a voice on a megaphone saying come outside now.  I replied that I didn't know where the door was, and I didn't.  The voice said to follow the voice.  So I did and it lead me outside.  As soon as I walked out the door, there were what looked like 20 cops standing there, all with their guns pointed at me screaming 'GET ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW!!!!'  I was happy to reply and I dropped to the ground.  They cuffed me and threw me into an ambulance.

As soon as I was thrown into the ambulance I began to feel like everything was going to be ok.  I was still on a trip, and I was scared as shit, but I knew that I was going somewhere safe.  In the ambulance, a cop was in there asking me all kinds of questions which I didn't understand.  I could hear him, understood the words he was saying, but I had no idea what he was saying.  Very strange.  All I could see was his head floating around the ambulance in a white fuzz.  For most of the trip to the hospital, I just laid there staring at everyone who tried to talk to me.  I didn't say a word and I couldn’t understand why so many people were inside the ambulance, even tho all I could see was one face at a time, floating around in space.

I arrived at the hospital and they must have shot me up with something because I all of a sudden felt like I was floating on a cloud and I was very calm.  My mom made everything better, even tho I still thought she was a prostitute and she looked like a zombie, my mom made me realize that everything was going to be okay.  I stayed at the hospital I guess until my pupils stop dilating because they were shining that damn light in my face every 2 minutes it seemed like.  On the ride home, as I was finally coming to, I asked my mom if any of it was real.  I was somewhat back to normal now, but everything I went through still seemed so real.

I was not right for some months afterward.  It took me years to get to the point where I didn't think about it every day.  I still to this day, wonder if there really was something deeper to what happened to me that night.  I still wonder if I was part of some sort of experiment, simply because it was so real, and I still remember everything clearly, as if it happened yesterday.

I do know, however, that this is the nature of psychedelics.  We start the journey in search of some sort of deeper knowledge, to open our minds, or to have a spiritual experience, only to find ourselves opening pandora's box, and unleashing our worst nightmares into reality.  I did acid a couple times afterward, but every time, I had to fight to stay sane.  It was a struggle just to keep myself from going over the edge.  I finally decided that it was not worth the mental pain anymore and stopped.  I haven't done acid in 9 years now, and although I still find myself wanting to catch a glimpse of the beauty that I once knew, I am always reminded of the horrible nightmare of that fateful night.

Exp Year: 1995	ExpID: 64518

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 30, 2010	Views: 48,380

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LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Post Trip Problems (8), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 1/3 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 2/3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   215 lb

After taking LSD for the first time, I experienced incredible insight into the way the world around me and the people in it functioned - with that insight came the ability to recognize things as either 'safe' or 'unsafe': 'unsafe' resulted in heart-pounding anxiety and paranoia, while 'safe' allowed me to relax and enjoy the amplified sensations. I also had a pair of sunglasses with me, which I found that I could use to help tone things when the experience got too intense.

The single dose took about 45 minutes to take effect, ramped up for the next hour or so, peaked and stayed constant for maybe another three or four hours, followed by a prolonged cooldown period, during which I was extremely jittery, almost as though I had taken a massive dose of caffeine with no breakfast after pulling an all-nighter.

I had spent the last two days camping out at a big three-day music festival, and Monday was the finale. Although I had come alone, I met and got along great with my neighbors - there were thousands of us, camping next to our cars in a huge grassy field, and I was stationed at the end of a row, with a carload of four guys from the States next to me. We had gotten acquainted with a group of girls from Canada over the course of the festival, as well as encountering a small crowd of music enthusiasts from Montana while we wandered around looking for a party to join on the previous night.

Early Monday afternoon, before we headed out of the campsite to the festival grounds, we settled an argument about the availability of psychedelics via one guy yelling, 'Does anyone have any shrooms, ecstasy, or acid?' Immediately, a rasta-attired fellow approached us, and $10 later, I had a little square piece of paper in a ziplock bag stuffed into the breast pocket of my jacket.

The finale acts were an incredible electronic duo from Texas called Ghostland Observatory, and the incredible Flaming Lips. Their performances overlapped, which was disappointing, since I wanted to see both. However, I decided to favor the underdogs and catch the Ghostland show first, then go to see the last part of the Flaming Lips' gig. Ghostland's show was purportedly updated visual-wise since the last time I had seen them nearly a year ago - more lights, smoke, and lasers, all of which I figured would play well with the acid.

This was my first time taking acid, so I figured I'd start with a little, 1/3 of the tab, and see what happened, then go from there - in retrospect this was a good plan, but I didn't stick to it. I knew it took LSD a little while to kick in, but after half an hour, nothing was happening - when the music started, I was still sober but the visuals and music onstage were ramping up, so I thought, 'oh, what the hell,' and put the remaining 2/3 in my mouth.

Towards the end of the set, I suddenly realized that the acid has definitely kicked in. The audio had gone from 'good' (according to my usual appreciation of good electronic music) to 'heart-wrenching' - and I recognized my panting breath, racing heart, constant blinking, tingling skin, and roller-coaster-style awareness of changing gravity as the physical reaction to intense emotions.

Once I realized what was happening, the revelations started coming - that Ghostland's set was like a sex ritual, not in the ancient sense of rituals, but in the modern technological sense, aided by synthesizers and lights, transforming the lead singer into a sex god on the stage in front of us. He became a god as I watched, literally an idol on a pillar, completely untouchable and unreachable, brilliant, mind-boggling, streaming pure beams of sex from behind his body, posing and glowering down at us, his subjects. This personification of sex wasn't remotely human, it was alien, and had nothing to do with the physical act of intercourse. It's tough to articulate how powerful this transformation was.

Finally, the set was over, and I managed to find my way away from the darkened stage, through the crowds of sweaty people, and across the field to the other stage where the Lips were wrapping up their performance. By this time, all light sources were haloed in rainbows, similar to what you'd see through a multifaceted prism. One of my favorite songs started as I got there - 'Do You Realize?' If you haven't heard it, it's a beautiful song, with lyrics like, 'Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die? And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know you realize that life goes fast, it's hard to make the good things last...'

My acid-fueled insight suggested that despite the lead singer Wayne's overall beneficent and compassionate attitude towards us (and all of humanity), it was all a farce - in reality, he was an ego-maniac who wanted to test how far his fans would go to make him happy. At the end of the show, he was taken up into a UFO which hovered over the stage, then took off, leaving us happy and worn out down in the pit below the stage. (The UFO was not, in fact, a hallucination - look up 'UFO Show' for more info on the production, I'm sure it would've been impressive even were I sober.)

After the Flaming Lips were finished, my surroundings changed - the lasers, disco balls, coloured lights, and music dissolved, replaced by the dark environment of the emptying festival grounds at midnight. There were people all around me, and we were all trying to get out of there so we could go back to our campsites or hotel rooms. We were like zombie cattle - a herd of reluctant undead. It didn't help that some people were moo-ing (pretty sure this was real). It was dark, and I was mainly just following the other people - but every once in a while, I would catch myself mindlessly marching along with the herd, and I would stop, throw myself out of the mob, and catch my breath, trying to figure out how far I had already walked. It was a long walk back to the campsite, and the paths were fenced with flimsy wire fences, maybe a meter or so tall.

Bizarrely, some people started singing 'Happy Birthday' to the lead singer of the Flaming Lips... 'Happy Birthday, dear Wayne...' In a rush of deja-vu, I realized I had heard or read somewhere that it was a traditional thing for Lips fans to do after a show. It sort of fed in to my theory that he was just playing with us, testing the extent of our devotion. I felt like a secret agent - I liked the Flaming Lips, they're good to listen to, and the show was amazing, but I hadn't sworn loyalty to Wayne. So I tried to be inconspicuous - I was afraid that someone might find me out.

I also realized, in another bout of deja-vu, that the herd-mentality of the exhausted (and in more then a few cases, high as a kite) concert-goers was being expertly manipulated - we weren't really trekking to the campsite, we were being led in a huge circle, facilitated by the nondescript terrain and arbitrary fence system, as event staff moved buildings and landmarks around to make it seem like we were making progress when in fact we were caught in a huge loop. Eventually, the whole flood of people would pour back down to the stage, surprised and thrilled at being so easily led, where the show would end for real. I didn't want that to happen to me - I couldn't stand the thought of being messed with like that. I also knew/remembered (all this deja-vu was false, I'm pretty sure, since I can't figure out where I would've gotten any of this information from prior to this experience) that there were security guards dressed as monsters that were supposed to keep us on the path that Wayne intended us to walk.

Luckily for me, there were some people who must have reached similar conclusions - or maybe the people in front of them weren't moving quickly enough. In any case, they pushed down the wire fencing, and I followed them over the wall and in to the grassy meadow on the other side. I wasn't too far from my campsite (due to the fact that I had really been walking the right direction all the time, and the Flaming Lips' lead singer hadn't been cleverly manipulating our route) so after a few agonizing seconds of searching for landmarks, I found my way back to my car.

By that time, I had realized that I was in danger - not only since I had broken off from the herd, but also because there were small gangs of people wandering around, and in the dark, in my present state, I'd be pretty vulnerable should they decide to do anything to me. Remember how I mentioned categorizing things into 'safe' and 'unsafe'? My car was definitely safe, an impenetrable fortress, and the outside world was unsafe, scary and full of shadowy figures lurching around. I got inside the car, locked the doors, and sat shaking, my heart racing, breathing fast, each breath tasting crisp and pure, as though it were my first after spending an hour in a sauna, or after coming up from a deep dive.

Now that I was safe, I decided to relax - I put the key in my car, and turned it just short of ignition, so that the electronics would turn on. I had an extremely scary moment where I was tempted to start the car, but realized that I was in no condition to drive, so I quickly took the keys out and threw them on the floor. I decided to listen to music that I had composed over the last few years - all electronic, some more dancey or trancey, some more ambient. I experienced my music in a completely new way - the songs had become emotional roller-coaster rides that took me up and down and upside down, as I alternately white-knuckled the steering wheel and lay back in the fully-reclined front seat, my pulse pounding behind my widened eyes.

Although the car itself was normal, I began to notice that the droplets of water beading up on the windshield were not - they were crystalline, splitting and growing in precise fractal patterns, like ferns poking out of the ground. They were tough to look at for very long, in the same way that the sky can be too bright to look at, even if the sun is currently behind a cloud. My sunglasses helped. However, occasionally something would go wrong with the fractal growth, and the droplets would begin forming demonic faces, sneering wickedly and baring their teeth at me. They weren't detailed, they were more like stereotypical smiley emoticons, but I knew they were still dangerous. They might've been on the outside of the car, on the windshield, but it wasn't safe to let them stay and grow for too long. Luckily, the windshield wipers reset the field, and turned all the raindrops in to nice safe fractal patterns again.

After nearly an hour of gut-wrenching musical experiences, I realized that even though things were scary outside, I had to go out, to leave my fortress and see what the world was like. I shakily exited the car, taking my flashlight and coat with me, and immediately knew that it had been the right decision. It was pitch dark out, although the campground was punctuated by occasional light sources, either from the people camping there, or along the main road and over bathroom areas. My first stop was the tent of one of my neighbors - two of the guys were stuffed in to a little tent along with two of the Canadian girls. They were happy to see me - they had noticed me in the car but decided not to do anything, which I appreciated, since it might've really freaked me out to have people from the outside knocking on my windows. I tried to sit and talk for a while, but I felt really restless - I heard groups of people talking as they passed on the road, and I realized that I had exchanged my previous fortress of solitude for another of only slightly less lonely properties. I knew where I had to go - I had to find the group of people from Montana that were having the drum circle on the previous night.

I tried to to bring the others with me, but only one of the Canadian girls would go - she was with me when we left, but somehow got lost along the way. I didn't really mind. I deliberately walked past my intended destination the first time, wanting to do some exploring. There were smaller groups of people scattered across the campsite, last bastions of parties as the rest of the people went to sleep before the trip home the next morning. There was one completely drunken frat boy style party going on at the end of the road, near the exit to the campgrounds - drunken orgies, people singing to pop music, belching and whistling, groaning, 'Join us! Join us!' at people like myself who walked past. They definitely weren't safe - they were the frat party from hell, and possibly demonic, though I thought that their true shapes might be discernible in certain light, or after they were drunk enough. I'm not sure if they were related to the demonic faces on my windshield. I stayed away from their party.

After a bit of wandering, I ended up at the drum circle campsite - they'd set up one of those picnic shelters, a couple meters square with a rain-fly draped from the top, making a nice little enclosed space. This was an incredibly safe space - safer then my car, even, since the people here were nice, and we could protect each other if we needed to. We talked about the shows we'd seen, I gave an abbreviated account of my revelations concerning Ghostland and the Lips, we cracked and fiddled with glow sticks (which left distinct trails of light that faded after a second or so when they moved), snacked on oreos and fritos and passed around a big fancy bottle of tequila.

We had a few visitors periodically as the night progressed towards morning. A couple of Latinos in their 20s wanted to buy drugs but we turned them away, although I knew there was weed and shrooms to be had - it hadn't occurred to me at the time that it might've been racist to do so, but I wasn't the one with the drugs, so it wasn't my consideration. Eventually, another guy game by - a little older, in his thirties maybe, completely wasted and strung-out on booze and shrooms and who knows what else, maybe acid and weed as well, really really fucked up by any reasonable definition of the term. He ranted about the futility of life, told us he lived in the (not a) lobster shack, that he was running for president (and we were all voting for him), that he was completely lost and didn't know who he was or where he was going, and that he was trying to find more shrooms. We didn't have anything for him either, and eventually he discovered a baggy in his pocket, which he dumped into his mouth and lurched off.

While we were entertaining our guests, one of the guys there was molding his glow sticks (which were the drinking-straw-sized variety) into elaborate accessories - roman gladiator-style helmets, antennae and fangs, bondage straps, and weird tribal tattoos. Eventually, one broke, and we were all a little freaked out by the burst of glowing fluid that splashed on the ground between us. It was non-toxic, though, so we didn't worry too much about it. The sun was starting to come up when I finally decided that I'd had enough and was ready to get some rest - I had come down from the main part of the trip nice and gently in the presence of nice people, and I thanked them profusely before leaving. I made it back to my campsite (after using the portapotty that looked the 'safest'), got into my tent, crawled into my sleeping bag and tried to go to sleep.

I had become an absolute insomniac. I could not even get close to being asleep. Patterns of colour and light swirled behind my eyes if they were closed, and space seemed to bend when they were open - at some point, I looked at my hand (classic thing to do when you're high), and saw a terrible withered thing, barely recognizable as my own. But the look was only a veneer - I knew it was really my own hand underneath the wrinkled skin and spotted complexion. It was my 'aged hand', and its fingers stretched out unrealy, beckoning a few inches from my face. I was sobering up enough to realize that I was just freaking myself out doing that, so I stopped - after a while, I decided to try masturbating. To my disappointment, nothing special happened, just a normal orgasm. I lay with my eyes closed afterward, tossing and turning, until nearly eleven in the morning.

Finally, I gave up on sleeping, and decided that I just had to get out of there and get home. I hadn't slept at all, and though the visual effects had disappeared, I was still extremely jittery, though that could've just as easily been from exhaustion and nervousness as from coming down off the trip. I packed up all my stuff, and felt bad that I was leaving before my neighbors awoke, so wrote out a quick note and stuck it under their windshield wipers before embarking. The drive home was a little harrowing at first, until I either woke up enough to focus or slipped into my 'freeway mindset', and the 250 mile trip home took me about four hours. When I got home, I didn't even unpack - I sent a text message saying I was back to my housemates (who were at work since it was Tuesday) and crashed in my bed, where I slept for nearly 20 hours before waking, feeling surprisingly refreshed, all things considered.

In conclusion, the experience of LSD was good for me - I plan to listen to all of my future compositions on acid before I finalize them, and will definitely be using it for future concerts and possibly beach trips as well.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72529

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 25, 2010	Views: 43,123

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)