		 DOSE:

		 inhaled
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 1.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

Two weeks ago I had my first experience with LSD, in other words, I took an acid trip. I am no stranger to drugs, however I started a little late in life with most of them, relatively speaking. I did not start experimenting with drugs until I was about 26, and I am now 30. I regularly partake in marijuana, and I've also done ecstasy, MDA, and mushrooms. Most of my experiences have been positive, and my first LSD trip was no exception.

A friend of mine had some blotter paper of what is apparently referred to as '24-hour acid.' He had just been laid off from his job and would be playing the unemployment game for awhile and he wanted to celebrate the end of an era, so to speak. So my friend, his girlfriend and I planned a weekend to trip together. We hung out at their apartment for awhile, had a couple bags from the Volcano (vaporized weed, for those not in the know), and ate a hearty lunch to prepare for the trip. We also did a little yoga and breathing exercises to put us in a good mind-space for the journey ahead.

After lunch, at about 1:30 pm, we dosed and took a walk through their beautiful neighborhood in Seattle and walked down to Lake Washington. As we walked I began to notice that my depth of vision was becoming slightly more acute and detailed. I began to feel more open, a little elated, and just very slightly anxious. As we walked along the water, we followed a trail that led to a small pond where a mama duck was supervising her family of ducklings as they swam around their own private little pond away from all the activity along the shore. I noticed how in tune with the scene I felt, as if the ducks were playing out their little family drama much like a human family would. This theme would recur to me throughout the evening. It was absolutely beautiful and serene.

We made our way back home and the feelings of openness and elation only intensified as we walked. I began to break away from my friends and go into my head a little more. I felt a light, anesthetized feeling throughout my body, and it occurred to me that we'd been walking nearly two hours, yet I didn't really feel sore or tired. We finally reached the apartment and started hanging out in my friends' living room. After awhile, I started to notice some very subtle undulating patterns starting to develop wherever I looked. I was still so relaxed and the visuals were so subtle, however, that I was starting to think that I had not taken enough. It was only after 4 hours that I really felt that I was 'tripping balls' as the experience is often so eloquently described. The entire peak experience would then last until about 3 am, so it was a long ride.

Once I was feeling the full effects, I definitely started to have some fun with the visuals. At one point I looked down at the carpet as I went up and down on the tips of my toes. Every time I came down, the carpet appeared to be rippling, as if I were standing on water. Overall, though, the visual element of the experience was a lot less intense than I had expected. What was most intriguing was the feeling that I had been lifted out of my body, as if I was floating slightly above my body, aware that I was in it but existing somewhat outside of it on a mental level. The body seems to be somewhat anesthetized during the experience, and physical sensations could be very jarring. At one point, as I laid on the floor of my friends' living room, I was so bereft of physical sensation and awareness, it felt as if I were floating on clouds. A slight brush from another person or an object was startling because it could bring me back from a far off place in my mind.

At one point I ate some strawberries, figuring I should abate any hunger that might come, although I was not hungry until the next morning. At one point I said 'I am peripherally aware of the notion that I may be getting hungry, but I'm not sure I want to contend with that right now.' The whole experience of eating was very confusing while tripping. Taste was not enhanced but subdued, and the sensations inherent in digesting were entirely foreign. At one point I tried to pee, and looked down at my penis. For the first time in my life I looked down at this appendage that has so much importance in a man's life, and all I saw was a random body part, the uses of which I was only vaguely aware, and the process of peeing was rather difficult as I had to sort of relearn that whole let-the-body-take-over thing. My relationship to my body was akin to the mindset of a celestial, non-corporeal being that was inhabiting the body of a human for a short time and being thoroughly confused by the experience.

From a mental perspective, my thought patterns were definitely askew. I went to very interesting places that I had not been before in my own mind: perspectives that I had not considered, a sense of overall awareness that was strangely unknown and yet familiar at the same time. My mind felt clear, and pure, untainted or contaminated by social conventions or negative mind chatter, which unfortunately has been an issue I've contended with for much of my life. I had an incisive and eloquent vocabulary when speaking that I'd not had since my college days. Nearly all of my thought patterns, and thus our conversations, were macrocosmic and holistic. I felt a tremendous sense of peace and clarity, and I felt powerful in the wholeness of my self, as if I had come home to a self that had always been present, but was not able to break free of all of the limitations imposed upon it by the ego (i.e., all of the crap I convince myself of as a result of what I assume to be true about reality and consciousness).

At one point I allowed myself to go to a very far off place. I stood in my friends' living room, but in my mind I was floating in space, surrounded by celestial bodies and stars upon stars. I felt completely peaceful and had no conception of any physical or corporeal boundaries, as if I simply existed and could spread out to every molecule and atom in all of the surrounding space. Just as I reached this ultimate point of bliss, I felt a sensation in my arms, and an unseen force literally lifted my arms above my head. I was a little freaked out by the fact that my arms lifted above my head as the result of a force that was not of my making, but I immediately opened my eyes and my friends started talking to me and somehow it felt perfectly natural. That is probably the most intensely non-physical I felt during the entire experience.

As a result of this mental clarity and focus, many of the life issues that I grapple with and that I expected to confront during this trip simply seemed to fall away as if they never mattered at all. I had a few moments where I attempted to figure out some of the patterns I had been pervasively allowing myself to perpetuate in my daily life, and made some good progress, but this being a peak experience, I knew I was not going to solve all my life's problems in a day. Still, the trip allowed me to confront these issues with more insight and perspective than I have in a long while, and it was tremendously helpful.

Patterns are what I noticed a lot of during the trip. Patterns in society, patterns in my life, visual patterns, it was a dominant theme of the night for me. I also kept coming back to the idea that all of the concern and worry I had about my life (not enough money, job I don't like that much, turning 30 and still not having a significant other) and about the world (global warming, politics, the megalomaniacal machinations of the governments of the world) were useless and represented a hindrance to my own personal development. After all, as Shakespeare said 'All the world's a stage, and the men and women only players.' I saw the entire world as the continual playing out of the great human drama, and we all have our parts to play. All of us are living our lives, going about our business, doing good or bad things, fulfilling our place in the world and learning our life lessons. I sort of gave myself up to the inevitability of it all and found the beauty in the moment, relishing my momentary experience amidst the infinite spectrum of time and space, if there even are such things.

As the night wore on, our conversations tended to move toward an overall theme that life simply is, and there is no questioning, no why we exist, no ultimate answer to our purpose here. There simply is life and we are a part of it. What more do you need? The ultimate answer is that there should be no question. As Yoda tells Luke Skywalker: 'No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today.'

Again, the theme of the great human drama came up, as my friend at one point stated that sometimes she feels guilty when she thinks about living in America, having easy access to housing, food and transportation. She imagines the people in Mexico or other places living in squalor and wonders what makes her so different than them. I responded to her by telling her that what separates her from them is nothing and everything; nothing, in that we are all a part of the same universal consciousness, apart of the same world, doing what we need to do to survive and trying to find happiness. On the other hand, everything separates us from them in that we are singular beings resultant from our own experiences. We've lived in different places, like different music, have different values and are pursuing our own paths. We are where we are because that is where we are supposed to be and there should be no guilt associated with that. This is the kind of thinking and conversations we shared during our trip together.

Another aspect I noticed about the trip was a greater psychic sense. Between the three of us, there were several times when we would sense what the other was thinking, or speak telepathically. Sometimes my friend would ask if she had just said something aloud, or simply thought it, and we would have to reassure her that she actually spoke. This is how in tune we were and how confusing spoken language could be at times during the trip. I am not sure how much the nature of our relationship had to bear on this aspect of the trip (we are all very close), but I would guess that not everyone experiences psychic enhancement to this degree. It would be interesting to see how many others share this psychic acuity when dosing.

At about 3 am, I noticed that I was slowly coming back down into my body and the physical effects were starting to wear off, although I was definitely still experiencing a different mindset than normal. I think we decided to start watching movies at a certain point because we were just completely exhausted but could not hope to sleep any time soon. We watched 'Wayne's World 2' (stupid comedies are definitely the best for LSD come downs in my opinion) and sort of dozed in and out through 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.' At about 5 am we decided to try to sleep. I slept on the couch and relaxed, allowing my mind to go to all sorts of places, thinking about the relationships I have with all of my friends and family. At one point I had been off in my mind so much that when I returned, not only could I not remember what I had been thinking about, but I also couldn't tell if I'd been asleep or not. I then decided that I had not been asleep as I just didn't feel like my mind was inactive enough to allow it.

By 9 am we started getting up. Despite not having slept, I felt very refreshed, and it was an absolutely beautiful sunny morning (rare in Seattle, even in summer). So I took a walk around the neighborhood, weaving in and out of the suburban streets, completely open and peaceful, taking in everything I saw, from the birds and squirrels to the trees and the people who happened to be out living their lives. I felt as if I was watching it all from a state of unattached bliss, yet also completely part of it. It was probably one of the first times in a long while that I can say I truly lived in the moment and felt totally alive. Another thing I noticed was that my depth perception and visual detail were still enhanced, as if I was seeing for the first time. This has not subsided even after more than two weeks. I felt like Neo in 'The Matrix' when he complains that his eyes hurt after initially waking up in the 'real world' and Morpheus responds 'You've never used them before.' I had just watched 'The Matrix' again the day before dosing, and let me tell you it took on a whole new level of meaning for me to say the least.

Once I returned from my walk around 11 am, my friends were up and around. I was totally over the experience physically, and felt completely normal. My buddy felt the same (he had taken acid dozens of times before), although his girlfriend was actually still tripping a bit and not feeling normal again yet (her second trip). I was actually surprised how normal I felt. After watching a few more movies ('Grandma's Boy' is so fucking hilarious) and sharing a few more bags from the Volcano, I went home.

I found going home to be a little odd. It was around 3 pm and I had to work the next day. I was totally exhausted, as I had been awake for 31 hours, but I didn't want to go to bed quite yet because I knew I wouldn't sleep through the night. I tried to watch TV, but I found everything on television to be completely uninteresting. I had no interest in the three Netflix movies I had on my dining table, so I sealed them up to mail. I ended up lazing about, listening to music, trying to read a little and finally went to bed at 8 pm, after 36 hours of being awake.

During the night, I woke up at one point and heard a tremendous and horrible sound, like an air siren that signals an air raid such as can be heard at the beginning of 'War Pigs' on Black Sabbath's Paranoid album. It was deafening. I got up out of bed and went to the window to get a look, when all of a sudden I woke up again (for real, apparently) and bolted up out of bed in shock. All was completely silent and I heard none of my neighbors up or walking around, and only after several minutes was I able to accept that the air siren had been a dream of some sort, as it had seemed so real. I went back to sleep at that point, and woke up a few hours later, still totally exhausted but ready to go to work nonetheless. I certainly could have used another day, and would recommend having at least two days after initially dosing before having to go to work.

Since my experience, I have noticed how quiet my mind is. I have been able to retain the senses of self-empowerment, serenity and in-the-moment living that I had experienced during the trip. I have canceled my cable services because my interest in television had not returned after a week. I have set about to write more, as I have been attempting to motivate myself to do for some time. I have also been totally compelled to start studying Zen Buddhism, and I bought several books on the subject. I recommend 'Introduction to Zen Buddhism' by D.T. Suzuki for anyone interested in Zen. It was an excellent starting point. I have already incorporated a small amount of Yoga and Meditation in my life, and studied other forms of Buddhism; however I had not really studied Zen until about two weeks ago, just after the trip. It just seems like the way I would like to live from now on; more in tune with the moment and with all of the beauty of the world, with less attachment to possessions and money.

Perhaps my experience was so positive and helpful because I am older, and had already been to places in my mind that had broken many boundaries, helping me to begin the process of transcending the ego and learning that the only limits to our reality and our consciousness are the assumptions we make and the limits we place upon ourselves. Most importantly, however, was the setting of my trip. I was with the two people I am closest to in my life, in an apartment I had spent time in constantly. It is a place of supreme comfort and familiarity, which is a huge factor in having a good experience on LSD, or so I am told by many. My friends were totally accepting of everything I said and did, just allowing me to make the experience my own and let it help me as I needed, in conjunction with our collective sharing of the experience.

Personally, I think LSD should be used more often by people who constantly worry about all the little things in life. I also think it should be used therapeutically. Imagine if one's psychotherapist recommended that he go on an acid trip and then have a session, or during a session. I have to say, I've had my experience with depression and relying on a slew of anti-depressants, and they were dark, horrible years. Anti-depressants not only did very little to ease my depression at the time, they usually gave me insomnia or body twitches. I got more benefit from one acid trip than I did from two years of trying 5 or 6 different pharmaceuticals. It's too bad LSD has such a terrible stigma, as I've since discovered when I share this experience with those who've never done it. It was a wholly positive and liberating experience for me. I certainly don't plan on making a lifestyle out of it, but I can honestly say that I am certainly open to trying it again, but not for a long while. Perhaps I will not feel the need to dose again as I continue my practices with Zen, but after such a positive experience, I am certainly willing to consider another acid trip if the opportunity presents itself.

--August 19, 2007

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 76483

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 30

Published: Mar 11, 2011	Views: 84,747

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Nature / Outdoors (23), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 6 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

I became interested in psychedelic drugs in the winter of 2005, and having had multiple experiences with mushrooms and LSD at lower doses, I decided during mid March of 2006 that I was ready for a step up.  I spent a few hours on Saturday morning cleaning up, I ate a light meal (I believe it was cold pizza) and at 2:40 in the afternoon I ate my last 6 hits of blotter acid.

I considered myself a fairly seasoned psychonaut at the time, and I recognized the initial onset of the condition roughly fifteen minutes later.  Colors became sharper, and sounds took on a strange ethereal quality.  I walked into the den, encouraged.  It was a large room, with a hardwood floor and a fireplace.  I felt certain that this was the right room in which to begin my journey, and so I reclined on the couch and fell into a relaxed, mellow state.  That was when I began to hear singing.  It started as a sweet humming sound, like a barbershop quartet tuning up, only at very low volume.  The sound began to rise, and the tone began to change.   The windows were slightly open, and a cool breeze began blowing the curtains from the window,   It seemed to me at the time that there was a whole invisible choir in the room, and each change of the light wrought its own change upon the tune.  It grew and grew, and soon instruments were thrown into this beautiful choral mix.  I began to search in vain for the source of the sound, but as I moved the music grew around me.  Soon I recognized that the sound was coming from me, and from all the life around me.  The music was the embodiment of life, and spirit, and joy.  Everything I saw added to this beautiful melody.  I went into another room, a hallway this time, and a few soaring violin notes accompanied me.  The mellow feeling gave way to a kind of curious energy, as if I was using awe itself as fuel.

For the next thirteen hours, I was enthralled by the beauty of life as I had not been in over a decade.  Color seemed to thrive in this new, alien world! The entirety of the rainbow glared at me from every corner.  I saw colors I couldn't name, colors that I've never seen replicated.  It was as if I had never seen color.  I  looked out the window towards the bay, and grasped the size of the universe in a new way.  A vast map formed inside my head, earth, and the planets, and the sun and stars and space beyond.  It grew ever larger, and an arrow appeared over the grain of sand the earth had become, an arrow with the words 'You are Here' hovering almost comically above.  I snapped back to reality, or what my reality had become, and took a few moments to clear my head.  While I was recovering from the sheer size of the void, a white swing caught my eye.   A red cardinal had perched on the right hand arm-rest and the colors were so sharp and clean that they almost hurt to look at. I thought it seemed very realistic, then laughed to myself.  After all, it was real life!   My mental processes seemed remarkably clear, and I began to 'toy' with ideas in my head.  I was fascinated by my new found ability to take a blueprint, and picture it as an actual object.  I am not nor will I ever be a mechanically-    inclined person, but today it seemed not to matter.  I built entire houses out of thought,  being able to cross-section and dissect them with ease.   Even such complex instruments as jet engines could be effortlessly mentally re-constructed.  After playing in the sandbox that my brain had become for some time, I opened the back door and headed out onto the patio.

Trees and grass were moving in a way I had never seen before, above the surface of the ocean.  Branches and leaves seemed to burn with motion, each becoming a hazy, insubstantial blur as they moved.  'Like kelp, but not' I said out loud.  It occurred to me that I was talking to myself, and had been for quite some time, and a fresh gale of laughter overtook me.  Each old and familiar sight was altered, changed somehow as to make it appear completely new and wonderful.  I looked up at the sky, curious, and was greeted by the sight of a vast cerulean ocean.  It was a very clear day, and both the moon and the sun were visible, and they both screamed and competed for my attention.  A jet soared overhead, and it left a great plume of rainbow exhaust all the way across the sky.  As I watched, the jet passed cleanly through the moon and out the other side, creating momentary chaos.  The sky changed entirely, becoming first darker and then lighter.  Colors sprang from nowhere, and disappeared just as quickly.  I knew how easy it would be to forget everything and watch the sky patiently until the end of time, but I had other things planned for the day.  I looked at an oak, and saw that each leaf was in fact a diffuse, green light.  The green gave way to blue, which in turn gave way to yellow.  These changes continued at a fairly predictable rate, and I realized that I had control over them!

Suddenly it seemed that the outside world was on my side, and I was safe and in control.  I felt completely at peace.  It was a warm day, but even if it had been freezing I doubt if I would have felt it.  Eventually I decided to return to the house before I forgot how to move.  It sounds silly to me looking back now, but at the time it seemed to be very possible.  Given the sensory over stimulation of the situation, I'm not entirely surprised.

I ventured back inside and turned the t.v on, browsing at large.  It started to become complicated as the buttons began to change, sometimes as part of a pattern, sometimes at random.  A short time later, they began to drift from the face of the remote itself!  Laughing like a loon, I tossed the oddity of a remote back onto the table, where the clean grain of the cherry wood swam over it and devoured it.  I smirked at this odd sight, completely at ease, and refocused my attention on the movie.   It was an old favorite of mine, but I found vision being routinely drawn away to a large, white wall on my right.  I eventually gave up watching the t.v to focus my full attention on the wall.  Complicated fractal and runic patterns would arise spontaneously on its surface, only to be seconds later subducted into the ether.  Chaos would destroy order, which would instantly arise in another form.  I saw planets rise and fall, stars form, reason melt and the very fabric of the universe be torn open, to spontaneously be pulled back into the plasma of the wall, and then spit back out in another form.  At times I could only interpret the colors as noise, the sounds as color.  I could visibly see the music from the clock radio on the counter traveling from point to destination, but I could not for the life of me make out the digital readout of the clock.  I became very preoccupied with time, and dimension.  Such intangible concepts to me were like solid objects, visible things that could be touched and seen.

If it were possible to break an acid trip down into words, the sheer volume of words would be staggering.  Hundreds of ideas cross the brain in seconds, weaving a complicated spider's web that seem to fit perfectly together, although they share few common characteristics.  Color and light seem as different sides of the same coin, striving in some cases for balance, and in other cases for contrast.  I decided to listen to some music without the radio, and in seconds was conducting full symphonies in my head, adding and changing instruments on the fly to produce intricate and pleasing melodies.  All the electronic gadgets in the world seemed inferior to that wonderful internal toolkit I was only now receiving full access to.  Soon the audible mental orchestra gave way to a visible one, and I imagined myself to be in a concert hall, watching a group of celestial beings play instruments unlike any I had ever seen before.  It was purely a mental picture, but something in its aspect reminded me so strongly of real life that I began to wonder if I had been granted a true vision of some other dimension.  Realizing the answer to this question would always escape me, I endeavored to think it over anyway, with disappointing results  After some time of this, I realized it was quickly approaching sunset, a sight I did not intend to miss.

I ventured outside again and felt my breath leave my throat.  I was enraptured.  The sky that had been so perfectly, absolutely blue only a few hours ago was now a violet so gorgeous and benign that the strength left my knees and I sat loudly on the ground with a loud 'oomph!' sound.  This violet color was reflected on the surface of the water as an intense, fiery orange.  The sun itself had turned a red so deep it seemed a burning ball of blood in the sky.   All around, waves of colored smoke-light (it had the characteristics of both) began to caper and dance.  They distinctly seemed to be sentient, and benevolent.  I reached my hand into one of them and at that point I had an epiphany.  I realized that nothing is unimportant, and everything matters.  For some people this might seem obvious, but the idea struck me at the time as being crucial, and central to my own personal beliefs.  The sun finished its performance, and the stars made their way onto the stage.  The sky became a vast, black painted sheet of canvas, and the stars gleamed like cold jewels in the night sky.  They rippled and undulated, as if they were pleased with their own beauty.

I sat there, totally unable to move for an indeterminate amount of time, watching the night silently explode with color and life.  Beauty enveloped me, rolled over me like a wave.  The clouds began to race across the shining orange surface of the moon, surrounding it in a halo of the purest gold.  This gold light bounced off the surface of the water, lending an silver gleam to every moist blade of grass.  The night itself seemed to beckon me, it was totally engrossing.  I watched and I walked, but I didn't speak, not wanting the spoken word to mar the beauty of the night world.  I wandered for a while, oblivious to both the growing coolness in the air and the emptiness of my stomach.  I didn't seem to need food, the night provided more than enough to sustain me.  I wandered for hours, thinking of many things, and basking in the beauty of the night.

Eventually, the maniac energy which had possessed me throughout the day gave way to an exalted, happy weariness, much like the one that accompanies a a day of hard but ultimately successful labor.  I retired to my bedroom, and began to stare at the ceiling.  Chunks of drywall began to bulge and drip from the walls and ceiling, only to dissipate into a thin smoke.  The smoke would drift a few feet from its point of origin, and then lazily make its way back into the gap.  Soon enough,  I began to ponder the nature of the universe in a general way, which led me specifically to thoughts of black holes.  Not a moment after I had begun this train of thought, a small black vortex opened up in the center of the ceiling with an audible stretching noise.  It grew larger and larger, and upon reaching the size of a basketball began to exude ribbons of the colored smoke-light that I had seen earlier.  They were very bright, primary colors, the exact shades on a kindergarten color chart.  They began to revolve around the room, picking up speed as they went.  Eventually the colors began to band together, and soon the room was a circus of colors all racing through each other and intertwining.  All at once, the mystery of the tie-dyed t shirt was no mystery to me.  The night ended with me laughing myself to sleep.

I awoke the next morning with a sense of exultation, I felt like I'd lived eons and seen things that no one else would ever see.  The relief of stress was enormous, and for a few months the minor problems we all have every day failed to dampen my new found spirits.  It has affected me in more ways that I can put into words, but overall I'm a much more tolerant person, and I like to think of myself as being more understanding.  I feel as if the mystery has returned to my life, and with it my will to continue moving forward.  After all, there's no telling what might be around the next bend, and whether or not it'll be able to top that day as the most thrilling and awe-inspiring of my life.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 69866

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Apr 19, 2016	Views: 40,865

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LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 500 mg
		 oral
		 Smarts - Phenibut

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Tobacco

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 4:30
		 100 mg
		 oral
		 Ephenidine
		 (capsule)

		   T+ 4:30
		 1 cup
		 oral
		 Tea

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   65 kg

I've recently received a batch of ephenidine and researched it on its own, and found it to be a quite nice dissociative. It has the positive push of methoxetamine that I found to be lacking in methoxphenidine and 3-MeO-PCP (I found both to be more or less just confusing and annoying, so I much prefer ephenidine over them). I also had phenibut, LSD and a couple of joints stocked up, so hey, why not do some research and see how it goes? I know of no other trip reports with this combination so I hope this provides at least some valuable information for someone. I'm writing this on Sunday so a few days have passed since the experience.

____________________________________________

So. It's Wednesday. I've been on sick leave for a while due to mental exhaustion and I've been planning to make a meditative psychedelic trip to raise my spirits and now I've found the day for it since for once I'm not feeling stressed but in rather high spirits. The plan: phenibut first, then LSD, then ephenidine after the peak of LSD, with cannabis if/when I feel like it.

The day began with a green smoothie with mixed fruits, some vegetables, peanut butter and soy flakes. A great way to put some energy into my body. After some digestion I concentrated on physical exercise, swimming in particular, which I've found to be absolutely essential for having remarkable psychedelic experiences. Exercise truly is the best antidepressant and mood booster, and does wonders for exploring my mind as well, no matter if I'm only meditating or exploring psychedelics.

T+0:00 is at 13:30, which is when I ingested 500 mg phenibut orally. This is my first time combining phenibut with psychedelics, as I just recently read on the internet that it does wonders with easing the anxiety that's related with LSD. I hear it boosts feelings of euphoria in particular (which I can totally relate to, as I'll expand on later), but reduces psychedelia and visual effects.

T+1:00: The next hour was spent on a last minute check on whether or not the substances I'm ingesting have negative interactions between each other (I've done a cross check before, yet it never hurts to be too sure) and capping the ephenidine for later (I made 4 caps with 50 mg in each, ended up only using 2 of them). After that I took a tab that reportedly had 200 mcg LSD in it. I had read it's recommended that one gives phenibut 1 more hour to kick in before adding LSD but I was anxious to jump in and didn't really want to be awake all night; not only because of LSD, ephenidine is very long acting as well.

The perception of time gets rather fuzzy after this point. I didn't keep up with checking the clock so I have no idea when particular events described here happened.

After having the LSD below my tongue for a few minutes I just swallowed it. Immediately I felt a small jolt of energy, or anxiety, but nothing that I couldn't overcome. Now I was certain that I was in for a psychedelic experience. I decided to put on my jacket and go outside for a cigar to pass time and take a look at nature. This was a great idea, smoking was relaxing and the sun was already coming down, the sunset was beautiful. Thoughts and ideas came and went without effort and I felt being in the moment more than ever. The corona sized cigar lasted for about 30 minutes, and at the end the sun was already almost gone and I was feeling pretty jittery from the LSD and decided to head in.

I put on some music, lit some candles (candles or a campfire are goddamn great when tripping) and started pacing around my apartment since sitting down wasn't sitting well with me (heh). It took some time, as usual, for other signs to appear; at approximately 1 hours in I started seeing something move in the shadows and the grains in anything made of wood grew in depth and started waving.

While visual effects are interesting and enjoyable, the mental psychedelia is what's more amazing. I began to find indescribable beauty in the music I was listening to and I made a realization on what a masterpiece of any art form is: a masterpiece is when a person or a group of people come together and perform something brings out their most passionate expression of a feeling so well you don't even care about how skillfully it's performed. Of course, if you're a master of an instrument the performance is taken to a greater level, but since there's no actual skill ceilings to instruments of art it's hard, or impossible, to define when you're 'good enough' to perform a masterpiece. As such, it's a combination of skill and passion in parts that can be, but are not essentially, of equal value.

While these thoughts formed in my mind I felt something that could be only described as gratefulness and mental ecstasy. I sat and writhed on the floor before my sound system, on a thick carpet, and cried as my mind was flooded by the passion and the skill of the people who came together to give everything they had to perform the music, now available for me and everyone to enjoy. I felt like I was like being blessed by unimaginably valuable gifts. Time dilation feels very apparent right now.

____________________________________________

After a while of listening I decided it was time to take the experience to the next level. I stepped outside with a joint and lit it up. The visual psychedelia turned down a notch, with the waving effects diminished. I did start seeing symmetry in plants and the leafless branches of trees, but otherwise the visual field turned pretty boring. After finishing with smoking I sat and relaxed outside, and gazed at the city lights which looked like shimmering jewels away in the distance. Suddenly a a creeping feeling of anxiety came over me, which tends to happen whenever cannabis is involved. I hate the feeling and do not know why it happens, so I closed my eyes, meditated and focused on the source of anxiety in my chest. I told myself that there is nothing to fear, and everything is fine, over and over again, until the feeling subsided.

Then, a strange phenomenon occurred. A stray ray of light crept between my eyelids, and when I slowly opened my eyes all the jeweled lights were spread over as lines over my visual field.

A stray ray of light crept between my eyelids, and when I slowly opened my eyes all the jeweled lights were spread over as lines over my visual field.

 The stray light was the strongest one of them, and in my mind it was as if I the heart of god was gazing at me. A humanoid form was gathering around the source of the light, and I thought to myself 'if there is a god, this is a sure sign that this must be it'. I've had previous encounters with meeting a godlike entity before, but rather than it being an external figure I've always found it inside myself, and then I find it to be a being of compassion, self-actualization, confidence, a beautiful formless being that tells me 'Trust yourself', 'Let things take their time', 'Do good deeds, for yourself and others', 'You are beautiful, and so is everything in this world, have respect'.

The more I believed this form before my eyes to be god, an entity to bring salvation and peace if only I believed in it unconditionally, the more I felt as if I was being blessed and wrought in ecstasy, and all my troubles seemed to vanish for eternity.

However, I became skeptical.

I couldn't, and still cannot, trust anything external to be a bringer of salvation, for then I would be a slave for its approval. I entertained the thought how true believers in major religions must have had similar experiences and are now placing their trust of having validation in life on their faith and performing daily as instructed by their holy books. The literal thought 'Wow, it's fucked up how people actually believe this' passed through my brain as I got up and went back in, shaken. Who knows what would have happened if I decided to give myself unconditionally to that apparition?

Back upstairs I had a philosophical argument inside my head with the unconditional belief of something external as being the dark regressive side, and the belief in myself and in good things as being the constructive light side. I held the belief that if I went with believing in that external god I would have relinquished myself, and let myself and my world be a victim and fall into ruin. Instead, only by believing in myself and the light inside I can truly build good things for myself and those close to me. So, obviously, I chose to be strong and I chose the light.

____________________________________________

I return to the carpet. I immediately assume a vertical posture and start relaxing. I've just finished a bit of renovation in my apartment, and a sudden realization hit me right there: I've been living here for quite a few years, the place is owned by my father and now I have plans to move on. The last bit of renovation is what really put the finishing touch on the place, and I understood that I've built a great gift for my dad: the apartment is now the perfect guest lodge, complete with a stylish kitchen/bedroom and a living room I almost accidentally made into the most elegant music listening studio and a place of meditation and relaxation. It's as if my soul spoke to me when I got ideas about the place, and now the end product is quite nice indeed.

I was thrilled beyond words by this idea. Heck, I've never been so enthusiastic about giving something away, but there we go, I felt like I was giving a huge blessing to someone. I literally clapped my hands and said 'Thank you! Thank you!' aloud, as if the universe came together to make all of this happen. Best of all, I was finally proud of myself again, a feeling I've lost for a long, long time.

Soon afterwards ideas about how I could also enjoy the place with my friends flooded my mind with fantasies of having good times listening to music, enjoying movies, cooking, eating and laughing together. The place is not only a blessing for my dad, but for everyone. Again, I was thrilled beyond words!

Somewhere in between these thoughts I felt utter gratefulness for all my friends and family and how I'm so happy that they're a such a positive part of my life. Images of people and places passed by in my mind and I gave a mental Thank You to each and every one. Damn! I was happy as fuck!

The positivity didn't end on the mental side. If I let my thoughts go I could feel my body vibrating with fantastic energy. If I wanted to, I could focus on a particular part and direct the energy there, which felt pretty great. I was acquainted with muscles that I've not been keenly aware of before, and directing energy gave me great vigor. Not to mention that I was well humored by this (focusing on the scrotum was the best part). After a while I decided it was best to eat something so I put some rice to boil and warmed up some vegan sauce I've made earlier.

____________________________________________

T+4:30: While gobbling up the food I gave a thought about the evening's timeline and decided it would be best to enjoy the ephenidine as dessert. I did hesitate and thought 'Isn't this good enough as it is? Am I asking for too much? Will the night be ruined?' but decided to go forward since I was set on exploring the combination. At 18:07 I ingested 2 caps of the substance which totals 100 mg. I returned to my music listening station with a cup of tea, feeling bloated, and continued enjoying my thoughts and appreciating the music.

At some point I felt an uncomfortable sensation coming from my stomach. The caps must have broken and the ephinidine released into my system (ephinidine is a fairly strong tasting chemical so I wasn't surprised). Not much happened for a while as ephinidine takes its time to work.

The first alert I usually get from dissociatives is that I become very sensitive to sound.

The first alert I usually get from dissociatives is that I become very sensitive to sound.

 This time was no different at all, at one point I had to stop the music and started walking around in my house. I was bothered by weird sine wave noises coming from all over; turns out they were small electrical transformers in the form of laptop and cell phone chargers hooked in. I could hear them from several meters away, chirping away in a high pitch, high frequency tone. I would have unplugged my freezer and fridge as well but doing that under the influence of drugs would have been a bad idea.

After coming to terms with my sound sensitivity and calming my nerves I gave music another shot. It seemed like ephenidine bumped up the music appreciation aspect of the trip a notch, and back I was, enjoying myself.

Pure enjoyment didn't last forever, though. Aural distortions started making their way in the music. They're very hard to describe, but imagine a sweeping, high pitched sound that starts out very quiet and gets progressively louder. Much like that whining sound that came out the chargers I removed earlier. I wondered if they were a part of the music or something made up by my mind; of course, the distortion was caused by the dissociative but in the moment I couldn't make up my mind. I found this to be somewhat scary, but there was no way but to push through.

In general I could still enjoy myself, but letting myself go proved to be very difficult. The dissociation came in waves, with it being stronger every once and a while. During the peaks I kept encountering distortions in sound and eventually the distortions found themselves in my visual field; dark objects especially seemed to twist into unnatural, indescribable horrors if I zoned out for a while. This would startle me and I began to consider the possibility of having a mental condition (of course I don't, I was on a cocktail of psychedelic drugs).

The scariest thing about this was the prospect of blacking out and losing control of myself. I've had a massively bad trip where I did just that (while on a combination of LSD and a dissociative, what a coincidence) and found myself as a gibbering mess in my underwear outside my house. My neighbors still don't talk to me, heh. I was pretty traumatized by it for the longest time but eventually I got over it. Or did I? Do I have an unnatural fear of letting go because of it?

I found relaxing and going deep into the dissociative experience to be extremely hard; at the peak I could see reality and myself deconstruct before my eyes bit by bit several times but that was always followed by a sudden rise in blood pressure and a feeling of panic. I needed to calm myself during this since I thought I was losing my marbles yet again, and this time there was no excuses for my behavior if I happened to wander outside in my state. Also, it was -10 celsius outside so I could have put myself in danger of hypothermia. In retrospect I think I just put too much strain on my poor brain, and since I was on sick leave due to mental exhaustion as well I wasn't truly prepared for it.

Something positive came out of the ephinidine combination, though. Like I mentioned, it gave an extra oomph to the appreciation of music. I felt the most extreme time dilation for a short while; I could pick apart the different samples, instruments, notes and vocals in music and envision myself in the environment where they were recorded. It was as if musical tracks lasted for an eternity and I was completely immersed in the pieces they were made of. It was weird and fascinating, not exactly euphoria inducing but very very interesting instead. And also another piece of proof that my brain was in fact being overloaded.

____________________________________________

The mental wracking was done with just before midnight. The thought of 'Was that it? Is that everything that the experience had to give me?' ran through me as I considered the possibility of smoking another joint. I hesitated since there was also the possibility of kicking the whole experience back into high gear into a spiral of death and destruction. I did still feel very grateful for everything I experienced and was in high spirits after all I went through so everything could be even better.

In the end I decided to go for it. I went out, shot a flame at the end of the joint and inhaled. Again, the visuals seemed to take the back seat, and the experience concentrated on the mental and physical side. This time, however, I received a message, beamed straight into my mind, with the sender field having 'The Psychedelic Experience' in it. Short and bitter, the message went like this:

'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME'

In an instant I knew that I pushed too far. 'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME' became the theme for the rest of the night. The intense feeling of gratitude, utter happiness, joy, whatever I wanted to call it, was gone. Wiped out, I couldn't even remember how it felt; replaced by an intense feeling of confusion and my ego and the psychedelia having a dialogue in my head. 'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME'

'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME'

, indeed.

'Well, shit', I thought and made my way inside, still determined to make the best of it. I returned to my psychedelic station on the carpet, went into meditation and stretched out my mental hand for what was out there to grasp. What I found was the most intense closed eye visual experience of the night: an infinite lattice of booming small lights forming a regular geometric cubic pattern. It was fairly overwhelming to look at, and along with the experience I felt my body quivering in energy. Maybe I could have enjoyed if I wasn't as mentally exhausted, but now it was just too much for me. 'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME', said the psychedelic experience. 'Yeah, yeah, I know', I replied in my head.

I gave a fair shot at trying to enjoy my situation, I thought, and headed to bed to see if the excitement would soon die down, letting me sleep. No such luck, it wasn't going away any time soon. Instead I got an intense feeling of sensuality and oh so badly wished that there was someone next to me to play with. Literally, the topmost thought was that I wanted to mess around with a nice girl in a very playful manner. I found that to be pretty funny and definitely positive, but hugging pillows got boring eventually.

So I set up a station made of pillows and blankets for myself to look at the visuals behind my closed eyes again; I tried to lie down in a vertical position first but when I really got into observing the phenomena behind my eyes I suddenly freaked out when I thought that I was about to swallow my own tongue. This freakout basically ruined the rest of the evening as I was constantly scared of it happening again and couldn't really get into it after it. I like to think of that as the final 'Fuck you' from the psychedelia for pushing it too far. In the end I took 10 mg diazepam to help me sleep which eventually did the trick. In the morning I woke up rather groggy but able to perform my basic functions.

Afterthoughts: What I really learned here is respect for modesty. What could have been the best psychedelic trip of my life was turned into mush by being too greedy and pushing it too far. Even good things have their limits, and I got a valuable lesson on that. 'NYAH, NYAH, DON'T FUCK WITH ME', indeed. But still, I'm grateful for what I got, even though I would have preferred even the tiniest trace of the bliss I experienced as a lingering feeling. But, seems like the most important lessons in life always come with a price. Thanks for reading!

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109676

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 29

Published: Dec 21, 2016	Views: 9,005

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LSD (2), Ephenidine (689) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Ginkgo biloba

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Ginger

		   T+ 0:00
		 150 ug
		 sublingual
		 LSD

		   T+ 3:30
		 125 ug
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 7:30
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

In my younger years, I loved my weed and experimented with mushrooms about a dozen times. I really enjoyed shrooms, so kept upping the dose until the inevitable occurred and I ate my way into what became my first and last bad trip. Can’t recall how many I had, but I thought I was dying (followed by that feeling of being reborn when you realize you’re going to live). That was 35 years ago.

My drug years came to a grinding halt with marriage, kids and the responsibilities of a good job to keep it all together. But I have always been a psychonaut at heart. My wife had one horrific experience with drugs when she was younger (pot brownies) and unfortunately that put an end to any possibility of exploration with her.  But I always had the feeling that my life wouldn’t be complete without trying LSD. So eventually, my kids grew up and with the urgency of family responsibility subsiding, I suddenly found myself surfing the darknet for frivolous illegal substances.

I was amazed at the staggering amount of drug related information on the web, and the ease by which illicit substances could be secured on-line. I voraciously consumed trip reports for substance after substance like a kid in a candy store until I found what I was looking for – what appeared to be the holy grail of psychonaut experience – the candyflip.  I wanted one.

Rather than plunging in headfirst like I would have in my twenties, I researched endlessly to determine the ideal combo and timing. Heck, the research seemed like half the fun (an arguable point after tripping). Anyway, I decided to try LSD on its own first, and then MDMA alone too. Each trip knocked my socks off, but that’s another story. Finally, after 4 months of learning the ropes, with high quality LSD and very pure MDMA in hand, I was ready to flip.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of my pending adventure. Here I am, nearly a senior citizen, executive manager by day, ready to blow my fucking mind by night. But hey, stereotypes are bullshit anyway. Although my job can be extremely demanding, I am a firm believer in work-life balance and the balance has been tipped waaaay too far the other way for the past 35 years. I am young for my age, and in excellent physical shape. I eat healthy and look after myself. I felt ready in every way.

Nothing would have made this trip more complete than experiencing it with my wife. But that was not to be. And, for that matter, most of my friends would surely have thought I’d fallen off my rocker if I told them what I was up to. Thus, I set out to create the perfect setting for a solo journey. I planned a weekend away in my remote log cabin on the edge of a beautiful forest with a magnificent ocean and mountain view. For all of my adult life this place has been my escape, my salvation from the grind of responsibility. There is nowhere else I feel more at peace and nowhere else I’d rather be.

At T = 00:00, as I wander through the forest, I tuck 150ug of highly rated LSD under my tongue and prepare for the jump to hyperspace as a summer storm begins to brew.

T+00:25 and I can feel the first effects kicking in.  This is faster than the 200ug I took on my first trip. Within an hour of ingestion, I can tell I am tripping harder than before. The visuals are stronger and the sense of disassociation is beginning to come on fast, and in waves.

T+01:30 and I am really enjoying myself, reveling in the amazing collage of thoughts and unusual perspectives that are drawing me deeper towards somewhere I have never been. Back in the cabin, the patterns on the logs are flowing and rippling like waves, with iridescent sheens like oil on water. Out on my deck, the trees in the gathering wind are boiling and alive with an ethereal energy. I look at my hands and they are someone else’s against a 2-dimensional backdrop of breathing textures. I shut my eyes and I am suspended in a three dimensional glowing mosaic. I am acutely aware of my body but my mind seems almost disconnected from it.

LSD gives me a kind of nervous energy. I find that I need to move and stretching feels good.

LSD gives me a kind of nervous energy. I find that I need to move and stretching feels good.

 I had some stomach nausea on my first trip with LSD alone so after reading more I pre-loaded with Ginko Biloba and a ginger lozenge. No stomach nausea this time. But the trip kept building and by T+02:30, I was fuckin’ flying. Moments of transcendence and giggling over absurd truths were becoming interspersed with thoughts of “Oh man, this shit might be getting too strong”.

At T+03:00 I decide to abort the candyflip. How could I possibly add another Schedule 1 substance to this body that is already dissolving in LSD.

And then it happened – a moment I recognized from my first trip – it’s a subtle yet very distinct change in the energy of the LSD as it peaks and then morphs into a different phase. At this point, the nervous energy in my stomach begins to dissipate into something I can only describe as a wave of building euphoria. It is now T+03:30 and impulsively, I do something that shocks even myself at this moment: I grab my MDMA pill and gobble it down.

Over the next 5 minutes I found myself alternating between thoughts of “you fucking fool” and

“holy shit, hang on dude, get ready to rock ’n roll!”  It took 45 minutes to feel the MDMA when I took it alone – but not on LSD.  Completely unprepared I was.  It took only 15 to 20 minutes for the MDMA to kick in. And this is where I languish for words to describe what happened next.

At first, I lay down on my couch still somewhat overwhelmed with the LSD but full of anticipation, tinged with some anxiety.  There’s a lot of chrome fixtures and shiny edges on things in the cabin and I remember noticing how exquisitely they gleamed. And then suddenly – WHAM! The clarity and euphoria of the MDMA surged into every extremity of my body and in what felt like only a moment, the LSD trip was transcended and elevated into a consciousness that defies description. The timing must have been perfect. It was like the MDMA commandeered the LSD trip and synergized the morphing LSD afterglow with the building MDMA euphoria and sense of oneness.

The very first perception that blew me away was visual. I can only describe it as suddenly feeling like I was a kid in a candy store full of vibrant primary colors while simultaneously being in a lighting store, surrounded by warm, vibrant, glowing lamps.  My second thought was “Oh my God, I want to have sex with my wife right now!” Of course, knowing this might happen I had been prepared for this contingency. While nothing can beat real sex, I came across something on the internet recently that piqued my interest. I have never bought a sex toy in my life, never had to, and never intended to. But this device, which caught my eye while I was surfing the web one night was getting rave reviews.  Some claimed it was the best male sex toy ever created. If I was gonna candyflip without my wife, I decided this was my next best option. I immediately set the thing up (not the easiest thing to do while flying high as a kite) and then set to work on the device.

As fate would have it, both the LSD and the MDMA peaked simultaneously as I explored my very first sex toy. For all intents and purposes, it looked and felt like the real thing. Within seconds, my whole body was flooded with an unimaginable sensation of bliss, a complete oneness with everything around me, and a sense of total, utter awe. It was like holding your newborn child for the very first time and looking into its eyes; like seeing the first magic trick that ever blew you away as a kid, like the moment you suddenly realized how big and endless the universe really is, all rolled into one. While words can’t do it justice, there is one thing that I think can give a sense of it; it’s in the movie Contact. Go to the place near the end where Elly comes out of the wormhole and she suddenly finds herself with the entire star system of Vega spread out before her; it’s the part where she says “…they should have sent a poet”. Watch that one minute clip of the film and you will get a sense of the depth and intensity of a candyflip.

I lost track of time as I made love to my toy. My whole body seemed to shimmer with electric sensation. Amazingly, orgasm didn’t seem as important as the experience itself, because it already seemed to feel like one long, continuous orgasm. In fact when I did reach orgasm, as fantastic as it was, it wasn’t the explosive moment I had expected because of the baseline bliss. It was more like a glorious transition into another phase of the trip. The body load throughout was magnificent, and the intense colorful glow of everything around me seemed to add an almost carnival sense of festivity and wonder to it all.

I’d read how great water feels on the body in a flip so my next endeavor was the shower stall. Oh my God, water never felt so good. Set on a relatively low pressure, I let the warm water trickle down my body, and it made me writhe in pleasure as it tickled every nerve ending in my body from head to toe. I drained the hot water tank, and then begged it to produce more.

T+4:30 and I am nestled amongst cushions between two high quality speakers and set my favorite tunes to start rolling. I didn’t move for 3 hours. Once embedded in that fourth dimensional universe of sound, I was paralyzed in a journey of beauty, deep thought and by the mere joy of existence. During this time I thought deeply about friends and family. It allowed me to see my life from a unique perspective; to see where I could be more giving, more understanding, and more accepting.

It allowed me to see my life from a unique perspective; to see where I could be more giving, more understanding, and more accepting.

 I felt utter compassion for a friend who is dying of cancer and became determined to engage with him in more meaningful ways. I pondered on all that I am, and the mystery of who I may yet be. I traveled a lifetime in those three hours.

T+7:30, I finally stir from my den of iniquity. I am still deep in the afterglow but the trippyness has begun to fade. It is very late and I feel almost ready to sleep. In a final attempt to prolong the moment, I smoke a quick bowl. But it somehow seemed to pale in comparison to what I had just come through. By about T+8:30 I drifted off into a pleasant sleep…….

I think I slept for about 4 to 5 hours. When I got up, I was surprised at how stoned I still felt. The day after I did LSD alone was fabulous and I had a kind of warm glow that stayed with me the entire day. I expected a hangover after trying MDMA alone – and although it didn’t happen, I did feel slightly off but not in a bad way. However, the candyflip hangover was significant. Not like that poisoned feeling after drinking too much, but feeling abnormal. By the time I got home about 12 hours after I woke up, I was convinced my family would notice there was something odd about me. It was kind of like a lingering sense of disassociation. It wasn’t until the next day that I felt relatively normal again.

Will I candyflip again? Almost certainly. But this combination is hard on my brain. I will wait awhile, perhaps a year or even more. Not so much because it’s hard on the body, but also because I can’t imagine anything being as good as the very first time. I think one way to help preserve the magic is to not overdo it. Besides, I’ve got some mescaline burning a hole in my pocket, ready to try for the very first time……

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104276

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 60

Published: Jul 1, 2017	Views: 17,291

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)