		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

I had always been curious about psychedelic drugs. When I was younger I never thought I would actually try anything like LSD, but there was always a curiosity, brought about by images in the media portraying the crazy visual hallucinations people can have when under the influence of certain substances. I have been an avid pot-smoker for about four years, and about six months ago, I tried mushrooms for the first time (a half-eighth). I will never forget this first experience I had, as I walked through this magical forest where everything was beautiful, and where I felt completely one with everything around me. Since then, I have done mushrooms two more times: once at Bonnaroo (unremarkable compared to my first trip, but still a good experience) and again at an STS9 concert at Red Rocks Amphitheater. Here, I experienced my first true hallucinations. The rocks were making faces at me, laughing down at me, and the sky had turned into an incredible kaleidoscopic pattern. This was the only time I have ever really experienced ego death. Although somewhat frightening at times, I could feel the music through my whole body, and it was one of the most intense experiences of my life...but amazing!

Anyway, onto the real story (I could write pages about my shroom trips but they were insignificant compared to my trip on LSD). Just a warning, this might get kind of long, but hopefully it’s helpful. I know I read dozens of these experiences before I tried acid, and I feel like they prepared me well. About a month ago, my friend B and I were planning on going to a dubstep concert, and we were trying to score some mushrooms for it. We searched and searched, but nobody could hook us up. However, one of our friends said she could get us some acid. After my most recent mushroom experience, I felt as though I could handle just about anything, and I had been curious about acid for a really long time, so we decided to go for it. B had tried it before but didn’t trip that hard because it was weak acid, but our friend assured us that this was good shit.

As the night of the show approached, I was very excited, but admittedly, a bit nervous. I mean who wouldn’t be? Even though I had butterflies in my stomach, I felt like I was physically and mentally ready for whatever the acid trip would throw at me. I had the mindset that if I could look at any aspect of the trip positively, there was no way I would have a bad trip. Besides, my most recent shroom trip had been so intense, and so incredible, that I couldn’t imagine encountering any visions or feelings on acid that I couldn’t look at positively. Most people would have freaked the fuck out if two giant cliffs were making faces at them and laughing down on them, but I had taken it in stride, and even found it hilarious.

The day of the show: I sat through class all day not hearing a word my professors muttered, anxiously awaiting the Ginza show, and my first LSD experience. After class, my friend B called me up and informed me that he had a family emergency, and had to go home for the weekend, so he couldn’t go to the show. I was really bummed, I had been looking forward to tripping with him, and I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to do it. It’s a good thing my friend, N, said she would drive us to the show, otherwise I would have had nobody to go with. I asked her if she wanted a hit of acid, but she declined, saying she wouldn’t be able to drive us home if she was tripping. Good point. I really wanted to do the acid because I had been looking forward to it all week, but I was apprehensive about tripping alone. I was nervous, but I was more than confident that I would have a good trip. I had done a lot of research about acid, and I knew that it would agree with me, but everything I read cautioned me about tripping alone. We drove down, smoked a few bowls, and then decided to go to the show. I had the acid in my pocket, and I decided to chill for a little. I would get to the concert, and feel it out: if I was digging the vibes of the show, I would drop the acid.

The moment I walked in the door, I immediately decided I wanted to trip there. The main room was uncrowded, and had a lounge area with comfy couches. There were black lights, and a crazy lightshow going on, and interesting paintings and stuff to look at on the walls. There was also another room next to the main one with all kinds of statues and paintings, and just cool shit to look at. Not only that, but there was another stage outside with a different band playing. Oh yeah, did I mention there was also a game room with pinball and air hockey, and all kinds of other fun stuff? After exploring the place for a bit, I decided it was a great place to trip out, and it was time to drop the acid.

10:00pm. I was a bit nervous, so I decided to only take one of the two hits I had, and take the other if I wasn’t tripping that hard in like an hour. My heart was racing as I put the little piece of paper in my mouth, but once I did, it all subsided. It didn’t taste like anything, but it felt strange, almost tingly and cold on my tongue. The journey begins here. I sat talking with my friend for a little while, looking around at everything in the room, I remember thinking, “in about two hours, this place is going to look very different.” I had no idea how right I was. After about 45 minutes had passed, I was feeling really good. I had a nice body high, and the music sounded great. I couldn’t tell if it was the acid, or if the lightshow was just really trippy, but I didn’t care, I was having a good time. At this point I was still having normal conversations with my friend, N, and other people in the bar, but I couldn’t help but notice that everyone’s faces looked very three-dimensional, and almost plastic-like. We went outside to check out the other band, and they were awesome too. It was really hot inside, so we chilled outside listening to the other band for a while. I was really high at this point, but I wasn’t having any hallucinations, and I was still concretely in this world, so I decided to take the other hit.

11:30pm. I casually popped the other piece of blotter in my mouth. N and I decided to go inside and play some air hockey. I sucked at it because I was captivated by the vivid trails left behind by the neon colored puck. I lost but I didn’t give a shit, I was too enamored with all the cool paintings on the wall. All the paintings now seemed more lifelike and three-dimensional. I could see the smallest details in everything: things that I would never usually notice. Looking at an empty spot of wall, I could now see the patterns made by the cinderblocks under the paint in more dimension than you could imagine. It was like I had HD vision. I realized I had left to go to the bathroom a really long time ago, and I had just gotten distracted by all the cool stuff, so I went back outside and joined N. The band outside was a huge contrast to the dubstep inside. They were playing old-style hippy jam band type of music, and had all kinds of horns and saxophones: this is the best sounding music I have ever heard in my entire life. I had a perpetual smile and couldn’t stop dancing to the music. I was in total and utter amazement at how good the music sounded. It was almost as if my brain were having a constant orgasm for the entire concert. My smile felt bigger than my face, and I could feel the music through my entire body...even more so than when I was on shrooms at red rocks.

I looked at the ground and it was covered with an incredible pattern. It was not kaleidoscopic, but stationary, almost like a pattern on a fancy wallpaper. I looked up at the tree above me, and the leaves were dangling above my head, almost like they were trying to reach out and tickle me. I found this hilarious, and I kept pointing these things out to N, only to realize she couldn’t see them. She was experiencing an entirely different show than me. I wished so badly that I had someone to share this experience with, because any time I would try to tell N something, she would just laugh at me like I was crazy. It was difficult to have conversation now. I kept thinking of a million things at once, and when I started to say it, I would just forget where I was going: my brain had already moved on to a different subject. My arms felt really weird, almost like tight and stiff, but I didn’t really care because I was having such an amazing time.

We went back inside, and the lightshow was more intense than ever. The whole room was purple, and I felt like I was in space or something. The dubstep music was literally fucking my mind: It sounded like alien music and it was just so odd but so moving, I just could not get over how amazing it sounded. No, not sounded. I wasn’t hearing music anymore, I was feeling it: absorbing it with my whole body. It was a three-hour mind orgasm, there’s no better way to describe it. I remember at one point, N asked me what time I wanted to leave. I replied, “Time? I don’t care about time. Time isn’t real, it’s an entity made up by man, and all it does is cause problems.” I then realized she was probably bored by now. I was having the time of my life, and she was probably tired of it and ready to leave. I wanted so badly for her to be in the same state of mind as me, and I realized I would never be able to explain to her how I felt at that moment. I am trying my best to explain it now, but words truly do not do justice to the LSD experience. I guess the best word to sum up the whole experience is, “whoooooooaaaaaaaaaahh.”

Anyway, the concert came to an end and it was time to go home. We exited the building and everything seemed so bright, even though it was 2 in the morning. It looked entirely different than on the way in, and I had no idea where we had parked. I felt really bad that I’d just had such an incredible experience, and N had just been like sitting there bored. I kept apologizing and asking her if she had a good time. She said yes, but I couldn’t help but think she was just trying to make me feel better. She reassured me that she had fun too, and she put on some music. Again, I start head bobbing with a huge grin: music is my favorite thing in the world at this moment. It was hot in the car so I rolled down the window on the highway, and stuck my head out of it. It was the single most refreshing moment of my life. The cold wind blew all of the troubles out of my mind and I was left content.

She dropped me off at my apartment building and I went inside. The stone tile floor looked so trippy, the rock grains flowing around. As I went up the stairs the echoes of my footsteps sounded like I was underwater. I walked into my cluttered apartment and thought, “fuck...what am I supposed to do now?” I was still tripping hard and both my roommates were asleep, and I was just all alone in my frustratingly messy apartment. Everything looked warped, like in a fun house mirror. First thing’s first, I decided to put on some music, and I went outside on my porch, where I liked the atmosphere a lot better (it faces the woods).

I grabbed my bong and packed up the bowl. It was the last of my weed. I had about a half bowl and that was it. I looked at my empty weed bag: devastated. I kept thinking I saw another piece in there but whenever I reached in to get it, it would disappear. I was really sad that I was out of weed, but whatever, I’ll just smoke it. I took a bong hit, and as I held it in, all the leaves on the trees next to my porch just curled up into a crazy pattern, a lot like the leaves dangling above me at the concert. With each bong hit the visuals got crazier and crazier, and I found it hilarious!

I had the idea to go get my acoustic bass, and I started playing. Improvisation never came to me so easily, and the strings felt like butter on my fingers: I was incredibly entertained. There is a Bob Marley poster and a Jimi Hendrix poster on my wall, and their facial expressions seemed to keep changing. Could it be? Here are two of my idols, the two greatest musicians in history, right here on my wall, grinning in approval of my music.

I wasn’t hungry, but I decided I wanted to have a flavor in my mouth. I squirted a drop of honey in my mouth, and it was the sweetest, most delicious thing I had ever tasted.

It was then that I remembered that when I was on shrooms at Bonnaroo, my friend and I spent like 2 hours drawing with magic markers, and it felt so cool! I didn’t have markers, but I grabbed a pen and some paper and started going to town. I like doing art anyway, but the satisfaction of drawing while on acid was just incredible. I had no idea what I was going to draw, and I thought it would turn out to be total crap, but I didn’t care. I would make a mark and watch the ink bleed onto the paper and take shape. I would expand the mark and it would turn into something else, then something else, just growing and growing. It was like the drawing was unfolding before me, revealing itself to me bit by bit. I didn’t have to think about it, and I was not creating the drawing, it was more like I was just unveiling the art from the blank page. My hand was moving but I wasn’t controlling it: it was just revealing the drawing to me little by little, but I wished more than anything in the world that I had some colors. My mind was racing. So many different feelings and emotions poured out onto the page. It was like five minutes worth of thought process packed into five seconds...end on end for ten hours, and it could all be summed up by, “wooooaaahhhhh.”

I kept having these incredible realizations after realizations about the world and the universe, and myself. It was like every great realization lead to another one, but at the end of every realization loop was the incredible realization that nothing I had just thought of made sense, and I was just on acid.  About halfway through my drawing I realized that it was going to turn out really cool. I was creating art without even being conscious of what I was doing.  That was when my mind revealed to me the most incredible realization of them all: It doesn’t matter what I do, and it doesn’t matter how I get there, but in the end everything works out.  I had just been aimlessly scribbling on a piece of paper for what seemed like hours and it was turning into an incredible piece of art. I realized I could put whatever the fuck I wanted on the page and it would be art, no matter what it was. Anything at all, I could do it and it would be awesome. In the midst of all this, I wrote on the back of the page:

It can be whatever I want it to be,

Whatever I want it to be can be art.

I get lost in the_____________????????

Music never sounds so clear as if

Daylight broke too soon.

There are question marks and scribbles all over the back of the page and then:

…and that’s how to describe ACID

The first two lines have to do with my realization that it doesn’t matter what I do, it will turn out good either way. I get lost in the...well everything really. I didn’t even know what to put because there were a million things going through my head. Music had never sounded so clear to me, and I kept picturing the sun bursting above the dark horizon...daylight breaking too soon. At the bottom of the page I wrote, “I WISH I HAD SOME COLORS!” I wished I had some colors that night even more than I wish I could upload my drawing along with this story. I am truly more proud of this drawing than any other piece of art I have ever done.

Everything was so significant that night: like every little detail of everything! I even wrote at the bottom of the back of my drawing, “Everything is so significent. Magnificent? Significent.” And yes it was spelled wrong. I looked at it after I wrote it and thought that it didn’t look right. “Is that really a word? Sig-ni-fi-sent. Like magnificent? Well everything’s magnificent right now too, but what the hell is that word?” I couldn’t think of the correct pronunciation of the word. “Oh well, maybe it’s not a word, maybe I just made it up in my head. Language is obsolete, and words are just useless, they don’t mean as much as they are intended to mean.” I was seriously convinced that significant was not a real word, and that my mind had fabricated it just like my distorted visions and crazy thoughts, and the abstract piece of art that had revealed itself to me.

I was finished drawing, I was bored with playing bass, and it was cold as fuck outside. I was still tripping hard but I had no idea what to do. I had done all I could do with this trip and now I just want to be done, but there was no way I could fall asleep yet. I looked at my watch. 4:20am, and I don’t have any more fucking weed. Well shit, what do I do now? I was officially bored with tripping and I just wanted it to be over so I could go to sleep. I remembered how awesome honey tasted, so I squirted some more in my mouth. It was waayyyyyyyy too sweet, it almost hurt my mouth it was such an overpowering taste. I decided to take a shower: that will kill some time.

I walked into my bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, it was not me in the reflection. I mean obviously it was me but it didn’t look like me. I looked like a fucking lunatic: like an insane psychopath. “How is this decision going to affect my life? What is happening to the world?” I felt like my entire idea of reality was just falling apart. I put on some music and hopped in the shower. The warm water comforted me, and I started to feel better. I realized, “what the hell, I’m still tripping so I might as well enjoy it.” I was smiling, moving to the music again, thinking positive thoughts. I became amazed by the patterns made by the wet and dry parts of my shower curtain, and water droplets looked distorted and split up into a symmetrical arrangement. I sat in the bottom of my shower for what seemed like hours, just thinking about the crazy night I just had. My whole idea of reality was just shattered; I realized there was so much more to the world than what I had previously thought. Was I going insane? No, no, I’m just on acid.

I got out of the shower and dried off, and put on some comfortable clothes. I made myself a cup of tea and sat out on my porch, as I watched the sun start to come up. I felt great! So comfortable and refreshed after my shower, and soothed by my hot tea. For the first time in my life, I was completely and totally at peace. I had made it through my acid trip and had an incredible time: it was a night I would never forget.  I gained so much insight from this experience, and I felt like I had grown as a person. I went to sleep around 6:30am, exhausted, but incredibly happy and peaceful.

I woke up at 8:00am and I had an incredible amount of energy, considering I had been up all night tripping balls. I walked out of my room and looked around my messy, cluttered apartment. I felt really good: I wasn’t tripping anymore, but I was definitely off baseline. I couldn’t hang out in my messy apartment; I had to go somewhere else. I put in some headphones and just started walking. Nowhere in particular, I was just walking; thinking. Everything looked so vibrant and beautiful! I walked around the woods for about two hours just thinking about all the insight I had gained from my trip, and how I could relate it to everyday life, and just admiring the beauty this world has to offer. I realized everything in the world has this inner psychedelic beauty that has always been there, but I just didn’t notice it until after I tripped on acid. Even now, about a month later, I still sometimes look at something and realize how trippy and beautiful it is. I wouldn’t call it a flashback, but some things like this just remind me of my acid trip.

I feel like after this experience I am more open to abstract thinking, and I have realized that sometimes you can’t plan things out, you just have to go with the flow, and whatever you do it will probably turn out for the best. I would not recommend LSD to just anybody, because I can definitely see how some people may think they are going crazy or have a bad trip, but if you can look at just about anything in a positive way, and you don’t let things bother you, you should definitely try it. With the right mindset and setting I really learned a lot about myself and the world from LSD. It is not something I would want to do all the time, but I really want to trip again in a few months. From my experience the most important thing to remember is that the point of LSD, or mushrooms for that matter, is not just to get fucked up. These drugs are not like alcohol or MDMA, where I just get fucked up and party, and have a good time. Psychedelics really expanded my mind and made me look at the world in a whole new light. I had an incredibly awesome time tripping on acid, but I also learned a lot, and I feel like I am a more mature and insightful person after this great experience.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88486

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Dec 4, 2012	Views: 145,587

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LSD (2) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

This experienced happened five days ago as of this writing. I was enjoying tripping pretty much once a week, and decided to keep up the spirit here. I was also so pumped because of how my Bicycle Day trip had gone that I really wanted to take another large dose of LSD. A friend had recently dropped off some more strips with me, three of which I had been told beforehand were 'weirdly cut'. Generally they're just a bit thinner than regular ten strips, but one of them was actually a bit longer, maybe around eleven hits or a little more, though it got quite thin at that point. That's why I've decided to list this as about seven to nine hits, because I would feel confident in saying that it was at least seven or eight but not necessarily more; nine would be a generous estimate. The first thing I decided to do was just take this strip at T+0:00 and see how it hit me. I had also been smoking weed all day and continued to while waiting for this dose to kick in.

I had actually felt just a little bit sick before dosing, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to dose any higher than this yet. I could already feel before too long that my stomach was not happy with what I had done. This turned out to only be a phase during the comeup though, and once the LSD was starting to run in full force I actually started feeling a lot better. I was texting my friend about how this thin strip was actually still pretty strong despite its size, and I was happy with it. My mind was racing out of control like it usually does with high LSD doses, and at T+1:45 I decided that I was feeling good enough that I wanted to take more, so I took some more of my regularly cut hits, though I actually cut them out wrong and so I took a little bit higher of a dose that I intended to (in my phone notes I wrote '5.2 hits'). So all in all, I probably took somewhere around thirteen hits or so. I continued smoking weed and I felt this second dose kicking up pretty quickly, and then things started to get trippy.

There was a pattern I was getting that was covering all of my vision, which was a big spiral whirlwind that had several ghostly blue arms reaching out of it at several points. This type of hallucination is actually something I've in the past only gotten by combining LSD and salvia; I guess I no longer need the latter to reach this place on the former, to a degree anyway. This hit me very hard because these hallucinations were much more three-dimensional than the ones I normally get on LSD, even if not as intense visually as some have been for me. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I was in there suddenly things became very much like Alice and Wonderland for a moment. On LSD whenever I hallucinate *anything* it's only ever been a reflection of some personality trait recognizable inside of me, on a superficial level, like representations of my sexuality just personified through projected images of myself in different psychedelic clothing styles. This time however, though that reflection was still there on a symbolic level, my hallucinations were starting to take on some level of independent form. As I saw myself in the mirror I felt like I was being followed my some kinds of ghosts or demons, and for a second I felt my perception beginning to 'turn' as if I was about to start slipping into a delirium, but then it suddenly let up. I have experienced this delirium before when I took twenty hits of LSD years ago, which is generally characterized for me by watching my body act out various ritualistic movements from a third person perspective though feeling it like it's happening in first person, but that time it wasn't accompanied by this same level of vivid hallucination; even back then I knew that everything I saw on my trips was just a visual and a reflection of something within me, but this trip had finally started to push that. I started to wonder what it would be like to go back to that level of delirium I had before with this new level of hallucination....

I returned to bed and tried to get music playing on my laptop but it wouldn't work, so I had to struggle with it for a few minutes. Eventually I gave up because I couldn't figure it out and went to grab a different one instead (there are multiple here). I honestly can't even remember much of the music I listened to, or much about the first phase of the trip that can actually be conveyed through words. My thoughts were reeling as they drifted further and further into nonsense. A constant stream of beautiful visions consisting of colors from the entire rainbow spectrum was exploding out of the center of my vision and into my surroundings, and these visions were representative of the many different concepts that my mind was searching through all at once with its word salad database dump that was my train of thought. The amount of different emotions and feelings and perceptions I was taking in at once was overwhelming and made me feel as though LSD is one of the psychedelics that can truly take you to infinity. Several times I thought to myself (in some instinctive way or another) that so much of this truly could not be explained no matter how hard I tried. There comes a point when most are all of the experience is perceptual in a way that you just never come across in ordinary consciousness. But again though, even for most of this trip I was still lucid enough to handle reality perfectly well whenever I needed to... with the only exception being those brief moments of delirium, which I've really never experienced on this level before from any psychedelic, including DMT which I have yet to have a full breakthrough on. I was, though, thinking that I might be ready for those kinds of trips now....

At one point I got up to walk around the house, just because I had so much energy. In the dark living room, the furniture was doing my usual LSD thing of transforming into people lying around the room, and some of the furniture was just changing to have people lying or sitting on them. These perceptions seemed a little more random than they normally do, I think again reflecting the fact that I was at the point where they were going from just being reflections to being more like actual entities. There was a point when I went back into my room that just for a brief moment I was completely fooled by a hallucination: I got up off of my bed, and suddenly a very close friend of mine was in the room with me, the first person who I ever came out to about being transgender. She simply smiled at me, and suddenly the craziness of thoughts whirling out of control I had been experiencing up until that moment calmed, like just taking a quick breath of fresh air before diving back in. This hallucination passed almost as quickly as it appeared, but that one moment was all it took to have a profound impact on me. Never before have I had an entity hallucination that I had no doubts about whatsoever and just fully believed, not on a psychedelic, a dissociative, a deliriant, or salvia.... Even on diphenhydramine, which I used stupid amounts of years ago, I had gotten to the point where hallucinations were that dream-like in design but I always remembered at least on some level that they weren't real. This time, I actually felt the full emotion of having my friend there with me. Immediately after I came out of it, I had the impression left with me that the reason I had seen her specifically was because back when I still had a lot of psychological issues I was working on talking to her always helped me sort of calm the craziness in my mind. I was filled with a love and appreciation for her as a friend and sent her a message about how thankful I am to know her.

This experience really made me want to explore full breakthrough psychedelic doses even more than I already did, and it gave me even more respect for the way that LSD allows me to go deeper and deeper with each experience; I'm betting that these experiences will come to me even more easily in the future. Another thing this trip really made me realize is just how much other hallucinogens can open up entirely new doors on psychedelics that you might otherwise not have seen without them, like the way that I now seem to be able to get effects from LSD alone that I formerly got from combining LSD with salvia. I had been planning to go a little crazy with the LSD I still have left just since right now I know it's actually legit and potent and just keep taking large doses until I run out to sort of celebrate my return to tripping this much, but now I'm left more with a desire to try to use LSD combined with as many other things as possible both to bring out their effects more and the further my relationship with LSD. I am honestly getting tired of focusing on the large doses as well; not that they aren't fantastic, but I just need a little variety in my life too. The time I got to mix LSD with 4-HO-DiPT recently however was pretty awesome.... I would like to explore that chemical by itself more too, and then take a higher (more visionary) dose of both the LSD and the 4-HO-DiPT to see how they really play together. I thought that the kinds of visuals they produced together and with nitrous oxide were already apparent in my next LSD trip that included neither, and this reminded me very much of the way that there's a visual effect I never once got on LSD until I combined it with a high dose of mushrooms, and now I've gotten it every time since. I feel like after this trip these combinations are probably how I'll use the rest of my supply instead, getting to enjoy other psychedelics alone and then together with LSD.

After a while the craziness started to calm down a bit and I stopped thinking so much about breakthroughs and combinations. The LSD was shifting into its more stimulating and nootropic phase for me and my mind was becoming filled with various ideas. I started to theorize about just what psychedelics are (in relation to different states of consciousness) and fit it into why I tend to get certain effects from various substances of why I'm able to go deeper into some than others. I had started to think that for a long time the reason that LSD was always able to take me so much further out than other psychedelics is because the psychedelic state is so sexual for me, and I have been repressed in this way for a long time, but the directly sexual effects of LSD such as through dopamine receptors help me to open up more easily than I might with other psychedelics. But now that I'm actually starting to overcome these issues, I'm starting to think that I may be able to get more out of different drugs as well. I thought a lot about infinity some more too and my mind drifted to 5-MeO-DMT. I've never tried it, but suddenly the idea of an infinite white light just made sense, because I understood that it's not just white, it's just that white is the result of taking EVERYTHING and projecting it all at once. I tried to fit this too into my psychedelic framework as I thought about how psychedelic states of consciousness may have played a role in religious experiences throughout history. I certainly came out of this phase feeling thought psychedelics are certainly something very 'divine', whatever your beliefs may be, in a human context or otherwise.

The hallucinations began to die down I believe some time around eight to ten hours in, but the stimulation lasted for a very long time afterward, as did residual visuals. I feel like this trip lasted a little longer as a reflection of it being a deeper trip than I'm used to, as I was still feeling something more than just an afterglow up to some fourteen hours after dosing, which is more than normal for me. The mood that this trip has left me in is basically that before I really wanted to go all out with LSD more, but now I really want to explore what other psychedelics can give me more as well. I'm also much more interested in combinations, because different psychedelics really do bring amazing things out of each other which don't seem to go away afterward, and I'd like to start building up a strong relationship with all of them, the good ones anyway. I think this is probably the pattern of use I'll stick to for a while (and not leaving out the nitrous anymore!), and then I'll start using DMT again to try to go for a breakthrough. This experience feels like it just gave me a taste of what's to come in that sense.

So, this probably will be my last really high dose LSD experience for now. I can't say I won't miss them.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103280

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 19, 2014	Views: 38,034

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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Combinations (3), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 200 ug
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

Overview details written approximately 2 months after the experience; majority of report written the day following.

30 year old male; 2009. I am familiar with several psychedelics and experienced to the point that I am comfortable taking them alone in moderate doses. I have taken LSD three times. Light breakfast. No herbal supplements, unusual foods, prescription drugs, etc. I spend the weeks before thinking a bit about what I want to get out of the experience, in what is becoming an annual ritual.

The purity of LSD is rarely a consideration and I consider this material well assayed by friends. Dosage is supposed to be 1 dose (100µg) per drop but I of course lack tools to verify this. I've taken one dose of what was indicated to be 100µg from this source before, and this time took two as that experience was pleasant but never left ++ territory.

The physical effects of LSD are relatively familiar and in any case not interesting to me in this case so I encourage reading other LSD descriptions for that.

--- Begin

It's a sunny day in the middle of a window of rainy ones - my good fortune (and good planning). We sit outside, getting a late start around 10am. 200µg (approx) in tapwater-brewed 'Splashdown' tea in the back yard with L–. Sunny morning. I am excited but apprehensive, though I'm not sure why. I have a vague worry that I'm not in the proper mindset for this, as dissatisfied as I am with some life fundamentals - work, money, and the like. Fascinating that after 15 minutes the LSD is completely metabolized in the body and nothing has 'happened' yet. Neural explosions are beginning, cascading upward to consciousness.

I've edited this document after the fact; such additions (almost solely additions) are [bracketed].

I have two 'goals' in mind, if that's the right word. I don't press, only offer up a subject and see if it is taken up. I am interested in understanding more my relationship with my body; specifically, my asymmetry and the pain I feel in my hands and back and head. I have realized that frequently my frustration and bad mood are the product of pain I am so inured to that I am consciously unaware of it. I'd also like to understand why I don't feel hungry often enough, and in general repair my connection to my body, damaged by illnesses and attendant emotional struggle.

I'd also like to understand how I can proceed with my study of science; it seems a pointless exercise, arbitrary and capricious. I love science, and I am amazed to discover that not only do most people involved in it not revel in it, but that they are absolutely rigid with anxiety and fear, and caught up in their social/political academic game. I don't know if I care to succeed at it at the cost of participating in their model, whether it is worth the stress of the degree program, and how I can justify researching tiny details of such a huge world to little real avail.

--

My alert is as always a slight lightness at the brow and a tickle in my shoulders and a desire to take full, deep breaths rather than what seem like habitual shallow ones.

The onset consists of waves of the sensation - my attention begins to detach, wander, and small details of the landscape jump out. The lines of a leaf are more vibrant, the regularity of the lattice behind the plants becomes especially salient and clear. I feel euphoric, and my shoulders drop and I relax. I am tempted to laugh out loud.

Sound is a clear indicator; the air becomes crystalline, and my field of perception becomes spherical and much larger. I am not hearing with my [attention-limited] ears any longer, but with my whole perception. I can hear a dog barking echoing from the wall over my right shoulder from the window to my left, a truck downshifting on XX street a block and a half away, hear the dampening effect of the warmer, moister air next to the grass of the lawn as a tangible presence.

Some visuals begin; straight lines become chrome-edged, curves heavily shadowed in black. In general I don't pursue visuals, favoring instead Large Thoughts. This marks the last point I find 'normal' attention forced upon me for the remainder of the experience and I decide to move inside and lie down.

We go inside and I lie on a large pillow L– kindly sets up, in the sweet spot of the stereo. First I am in the front room; trucks going by outside are loud and obnoxious. I make small talk about the trucks and can tell I am beginning to have difficulty communicating; everything feels socially awkward, as though the timing were all off [and such chit-chat is inappropriate]. This is the incorrect way to talk, now, and I am a a bit ashamed and as always startled by how much time we spend saying such things. I am chilly, or at least trembling slightly. I sit on the pillow and L– puts the goat over me. My teeth chatter; mild nystagmus, some large-muscle tension. This phase lasts half an hour. I am happy but a bit distracted. L– helps me move to the living room to better enjoy the silence.

The temporal progression is not clear from here out until I start to come down. I'll speak of the major experiences instead.

The Mirror Game

[Later voice: This is a fascinating example of dehabituation and using the insight provided by the experience as a biofeedback to examine my own body. I have a fair amount of experience with biofeedback in physical therapy.]

I go into the bathroom, which has got to be every trip sitter's least favorite part, I am thinking to myself. What is he doing in there? Should I interrupt? The very thought that I am thinking these things [, worrying from someone else's perspective] is an indication of how strongly the tendency to imagine things from others' points of view asserts itself. One time while I am in there I am gazing into the mirror. The visual aspects of this I'll described below; here I'm concentrating on my body.

I notice suddenly that I am standing with my weight mostly on my right leg, and that my right toes are curled slightly against the ball of my foot. It feels entirely natural or habitual but suddenly stands out. This makes my balance entirely wrong; I can feel it. I have noticed this before, but now it is clear that this throws my right shoulder up, clenches the muscles of my back and neck. My entire right side is clenched. I remember the first time I took LSD, the nerve on the bottom of my right foot being so painful. Today it is again, as is the spot between my index and middle finger. (A nerve? Have to check.) I habitually curl my foot to protect this pain.

[Later voice: Later, I suddenly remembered a summer in childhood when I acquired a sliver of glass in this location; I cut it out myself. This strikes me as bizarre and silly but the thought leapt to mind and fits and is provided without editing.]

I shift my weight to make it evenly balanced between my left and my right foot. My smiling face in the mirror begins to repaint itself as sinister. The stubble on my cheek grows coarser, my eyes droop, and my face in the mirror becomes a symmetric version of just the left side of my face, angry and ugly. I shift to my habitual, mechanically bad pose, and my smile returns; the stubble diminishes; I look happy and my face is right-side symmetric.

This is not going to be easy. My body and my mind have a commitment to this unhealthy posture.

I hesitate briefly - I feel a pressure to not do anything 'too weird'. I can't imagine why. This comes up other times as well. [The internal monitor is so strong.] I take off my shirt; I can feel warring selves who feel this is 'too weird' make my movements clumsy. I identify with the ones who are doing the shirt-removing, discard the nay-sayers. [More on the perspective of 'fractured' selves as an analogy for conscious attention later.]

I watch my shoulders; I flex, stretch, rock my back. I grip both sides of the sink and gaze into my own eyes, and begin. I move from one foot to the other, mixing in a bit of left foot gradually, watching my visage distort and become angry. I balance and remain patient, let the torment subside, until it settles into a blend of familiar and sinister, happy and angry. The anger and sadness tug at me; like any potential focus, I can feel the pull to identify wholly, to fall into [associating with] the negative identity. To do so would mean being overwhelmed by fear or anger or tears [giving up to ridiculing myself for this exercise, or to let the awareness of the pain submerge, and lose my ability to work with it]; I can feel them welling up within me. Neither, though, is it safe or right to ignore the sadness and deny its existence. Instead I must integrate them, observe both. I can see that I am smiling. I continue this process for as long as I can. I want to reach a point of balance, then identify with it, make it my new physical condition. Again I think of the biofeedback training I've done: I need to use this state of heightened perception to identify the healthy posture so that I will recognize it later, so I can strive toward it. My perception is too clouded by pain and habit most of the time.

There is more about this right/left symmetry in the morning, below.

Eventually I decide I have made as much progress as I can without incurring too much cost to be useful. I am grateful to myself for this opportunity.

Food

L– makes me some eggs. They are perfect, just soft enough and just runny enough, with delicate traces of mint leaf and salty blue cheese, and two pieces of perfectly toasted bread, one with piquant meyer lemon preserves and the other just with sweet butter. I weep. I want to tell her they are fantastic, but every time I try it sounds so habitual, so trite. They are Good Eggs. I don't want to sound like I'm ready to converse; I just want to tell her how much I appreciate such exquisitely crafted food. I make some noise to this effect and drop it. A few moments later she appears with a glass of water, well timed. Her concern for me is enormous and perfectly phrased; not intrusive, not demanding, always only present and ready to withdraw.

I don't want to stay on the bed where I ate; she is reading there and the presence of another person makes me itch to communicate verbally, and I am incapable of it [and don't desire it]. The failure is distracting [; it is the wrong thing to try to do]. I return to my pillow in the living room, I think; perhaps this is when I go outside. She asks if I want company and I don't, but it is hard to tell her no. I worry I will make her unhappy, by rejecting her company, by leaving when she has designed such exquisite music for me, music which has guided much of the rest of my experience. There is a lesson here, I note, in my worrying too much about my responsibility for others' feelings.

Sex

I'd like to make love, though it's not a strong desire. I don't suggest it for a few reasons. One, I'm not sure how I'm interacting with L–. I don't know if I would come across as a drooling barbarian. The subtle parts of sex may not work, and I don't want to just paw at her. I know this is a dangerous thought, even as I am thinking it, but decide to save it for another time.

I also worry that it won't go well - in that it may not be the great extra-verbal bridge between us that I feel it should be. That thought scares me, and I don't want to make the risk right now. Another (or the same) lesson, another thing to discuss later with her.

Finally, I have no idea what my attention span is. Sex may take a million years, and I may have to stop and wander off on another pressing mission. Again, I don't want to intrude.

I do wonder, though, what an orgasm might feel like in this state. I think of what she did to me a few nights ago, and cannot fathom being on the receiving end of such pleasure again. Considering the plate of eggs made me cry, I imagine the singularity experience of orgasm - not so different in some ways from this loss of self - may gild my mind with diamonds and silver. However, it took me several minutes to thank L– for the eggs, and I think my verbal abilities amount to single words right now. I can't imagine myself croaking, 'sex?' and then waiting - or worse, wandering away. I know this will be funny later, but my tolerance for conflict [especially navigating social interaction] is very low right now so I don't pursue it further.

God

I saw god.  Oh, should I have saved that one for last?

I saw god.  Oh, should I have saved that one for last?

It begins as an understanding of how I perceive and the nature of the self. I am shedding selves moment to moment, sheaves of them falling away in a spiral around 'me'. Each one is the mechanism of an individual perception, of thinking a thought. [I would say now that each one is a verb, an experience, an 'action' but more accurately an 'interaction'.] I don't associate my subjectivity with any one of them; rather my subjectivity is informed by them as a plant is by its leaves. I would say I 'dispatch' them for each purpose, but there is no separation of me from Me; rather each is created in the act of perceiving, thinking, and they are me the way my finger is me. Each little-m-me occurs at the interface, the product, of Me and Everything Else, is created by that interaction. It was like being in a shower of tumbling leaves, each a complete moment exactly the size of a perception, where perceptions can be near-instantaneous apprehension of qualia (essential blue-ness; a single figure/ground realization; flutter of an eyelid; contraction of a muscle) or more complex thoughts like an appreciation of the relationship between myself and L–.

This was very clear in the mirror game. V1 neurons in the striate cortex are each calibrated to different time series and pattern detection - they are spatiotemporal filters of different temporal 'sizes', with different perceptual responsibilities. I can see each one functioning. The result in the mirror is a series of successive 'images'. I watched my iris and perceived each component of perception separately - blue; grey; diagonal lines; black-edge-darker/lighter border detection, each present and entire, and in each direction its neighbor another slice of qualia separated either in time or in my 'choice' of perception. This same effect was visible outside the 40-to-100 millisecond domain of V1; especially V4 stuff like spatial frequency (patterning), figure/ground detection, and up into global visual perception and even into greater cognition, and I'm reminded now of recent research that shows that not only are V2-V4 susceptible to attentional focus (citation?), but that they can influence and tune V1 but even frontal cognition can (XXXX, 2008). I'd say they're on to something.

Subjectivity, such as my identity, is 'choosing' a branch, a spiral arm, of these shedding selves; identifying with a slice of them. This isn't a random set; it's a set that is defined by the same nature as the fractal set generation mechanism that 'creates' them in the first place. As each element of a fractal contains the same infinite complexity within as without, so does any selected subjectivity. It may feel discontinuous in time but that's from the local perspective; the relationship from above is clear, as the colored regions of a Mandelbrot fractal are related. Whichever are selected are seamlessly joined into the 'user illusion' of consciousness.

I am a shedded self, a local function of the fractal; every branch is a pocket subjectivity the universe uses to see itself [through local interactions]. Uphill, the universe is a single entity; it is the essential subjectivity; that is to say, 'god'. It is a fractal spiral, radiating from a single pole. Capital-M-me is that singularity; as far up as I want to go, I am the entire universe. I feel love for myself, all the facets of myself. There is no perception of myself in the past, though; nothing about my childhood or really anything other than how I identify myself now, and of the rest of the world on an equal footing with my 'self'. [Future was present, though; my sense is that 'past' was present, but my only perception of the past would have been from a smaller yet self, and 'upward' was more interesting.]

There is never a sense of another larger than me; that is, if there is nothing, there is nothing; if there is a thing, it is a subjectivity of some size, defining the axis of a spiral. Further subjectivities may exist [alternate branches of this larger whole - some are 'mine', some I will, I know, habitually conceive of as 'other people', later; the selection function between 'me' and 'other person' though is so clearly analogous to that between the various perceptions that make up 'me'], and we are equal and part of the all, but there is no part of the all that is unknown to Me at this moment; none is an island, entire of itself, etc. This is probably why communication is so difficult; I am identifying with things outside the single-ego-verbal-entity, and cannot coordinate it to talk at that level any more than I can usually choose to grow the right side of my thumbnail faster than the left. [God is the name for the process that defines this 'spiral' and temporarily partitions it so it can interact with itself; ] there is no god outside our relations to each other.

The sensation fades and I can tell I am becoming more little-m me. This is effected by 'selecting' an arm of the fractal and indwelling there; there is some sadness (?) to the selection of a branch and I am reluctant to restrict myself, as much fun as it is to play at being a person. I so rarely get to be here, with everything all in one place and available to me. I feel comfortable and joyous to be so large. I'm certainly not bored. I am home.

As I come down I find myself 'sticking' to L–, desiring to speak to her. The desire to interact with another subjectivity requires constraining myself to the portions that can operate at a shared time scale. To be more specific, engaging verbally is a lower-resolution interaction. Verbal-style interaction, that is non-externalized but cognitively categorized interaction, affords a slightly higher resolution, and it is more tolerable - these are body language, scent, balance. This greater band of communication with the world remains longer, too, when the effects dwindle; later, when we are on the beach, I can feel the flow of traffic, can feel to a greater degree even than usual the individual drivers and their collective behavior. I tell L– that if one of the drivers were to consider turning left to enter the parking lot as they drove by, I would be able to feel it, and I believe this; it's the same way you can tell when a driver is going to turn even though they failed to signal, a thousand tiny cues from the slight turn to the right, the flick of the eyes to the mirrors, but I can perceive it at leisure; can read the body language of the couple arguing far across the beach [and I'm right; we walk closer later, and they are arguing], etc.

But that is later. As I said, I 'stick' to L–, but I am incapable of tuning in to the faster/smaller frequency and can't make myself think at that level. I suspect that this is the point at which I am harder to deal with; this is where I start making the right kind of eye contact but can't engage. L– later says that she couldn't tell; she thought my eye contact was fine [all along]. From my perspective, my subjectivity had 'left' that shard and was on to the next, and I felt I was not eye-contacting well. I am reminded (note the passive voice so often!) of the handful of individual cases in which I have seen a person known well to me 'go mad'; that is, fail to be able to sync up with the consensus world and communicate about it. The 'sane' perspective (I in those cases) feels flickers of the identity of the other, fleeting, like the way a thicket of trees becomes a periodic orchard from a moving car, but the trapped mind is incapable of communicating. I wonder if I should go visit [redacted; who is currently in a mental institution]; wonder whether it would be easier or harder to talk to him now. [Probably, I thought even then, harder; there is no special likelihood toward a greater ability to relate there.]

I'm reminded of my biofeedback training and the sensation of being able to 'consciously' smooth a tense muscle or direct my breathing. The sensation is similar; finding the controls, getting the heft of a ball to throw it, bouncing in a new pair of shoes to see how they'll fit. I'm heading toward myself. [Was it John Lilly who referred to needing to get the user's manual out of the glove compartment at this point?]

[If you get into these spaces [non-ordinary states of consciousness] at all, you must forget about them when you come back. You must forget you're omnipotent and omniscient and take the game seriously so you'll engage in sex, have children, and participate in the whole human scenario. When you come back from a deep tank session -- or a coma or psychosis -- there's always this extraterrestrial feeling. You have to read the directions in the glove compartment so you can run the human vehicle once more.]

[Another one of Lilly's I hadn't read at that point:

At the highest level of satori from which people return, the point of consciousness becomes a surface or a solid which extends throughout the whole known universe. This used to be called fusion with the Universal Mind or God. In more modern terms you have done a mathematical transformation in which your centre of consciousness has ceased to be a traveling point and has become a surface or solid of consciousness... It was in this state that I experienced 'myself' as melded and intertwined with hundreds of billions of other beings in a thin sheet of consciousness that was distributed around the galaxy. A 'membrane'.

I like that the 'point' of consciousness moves up in dimensional complexity and becomes a surface, or a solid.]

The Copular BE

I'm barely verbal. My ideas are nearly incoherent but I want to talk as much as possible, having learned from trying to remember my dreams how important it is to verbalize them quickly. I share how English-prime, the 'variant' of English derived from Korzybski's general semantics, seems like a wise idea. The copular BE is a lame copout, a shortcut not worth its cost, from my perspective. Everything is defined by interactions; there is no epistemic or attributive identity.

We talk about how every tool is not value-free but rather compose entirely of values. I tell her that right now I feel like a 'tool' in this sense; that I am a locally constructed artifact composed to interact and by interaction with the rest of 'my' 'environment'. Everything is like this in its own way: my V2-V4 neurons are like this; they do a job (or several jobs, actually) and any more cohesive appraisal of that job is necessarily from the perspective of that of which they are a portion. I am a delightful machine, capable of edge detection and qualia sorting and composing sonnets and metabolizing food and oxygen and thoughts [I wrote this, 'metabolizing thoughts', intentionally - thoughts are food for one of the creatures I am], and inventing parking laws and paying parking tickets - depending on what 'I' is under examination. I am a message in a bottle, floated back to this corner of time-space-experience. My only definition is the message I bear/am; my existence is that message.

I ponder destroying all dogmatic verbal systems and see that everything is a 'verbal' system; destroying a verbal system would be nothing but destroying the portion of Self capable of interacting at that 'resolution'. This is impossible, of course; the self exists only through interaction, waiting for interaction with the verbal system to create it. Oxidation is a verbal system of oxygen and sonnets are a verbal system of typical ego-resolution subjectivities and love is a verbal system of larger subjectivities. For that matter, dams are verbal systems of beavers and commerce is a verbal system of corporations, which are themselves a verbal system of egos. So, Mr. Burroughs, I understand your frustration and agree that your path to liberation requires tuning out particular verbal systems, as we have already done. Rarely do the portions of self associated with micturition or sneezing dominate our consciousness, rarer still those whose sole interaction with the world is digestion or toenail-growing. It takes a lot of work to put this Self in the position of chatting about the weather; be proud of it, or at least pat it on the head and thank it from time to time. Better verbal systems await our need for them. Every human relationship is such a local verbal system, developed between two spiral arms of the universe. [Upward!]

Love for L–

L– is a wise soul. L– cares for me, and cares for me well. Every realization I make in my life, she is prepared to meet me at. I am humbled by my good fortune and joyous that we love each other. She is an excellent partner and I am happy that I feel I am relating to her properly, as two individuals with a strong bond; we are good for each other. Later when she is talking while she drives I am rapt at listening to her; I love her mind, so quick and so sincere. Sincerity, above all, is the word I associate with her, and with what it means for us to have a relationship. It is possible for me to be utterly sincere with her.

This love is so good and I want to compare it to my past love, the one that was so strong but so wrong and so sad. I decide to think for a while of Jennifer, and my love for her, to understand the difference. I see that what characterized it as so intense was its ludicrous focus - I was able to think of nothing but her; I identified as solely the shards of self concerned with her. It was a good experience and a good place to experience, but inherently curtailed, a dead-end arm of the spiral. Specific memories I had shadows of but had thought lost show me this. I remember a curl of hair, the shadow of a curtain; just like with H–, occasional phantom concordances lined up but we were never consistently in sync. I let the image fall away.

L–, 'totally subjective'

I'm just becoming verbal again and L– and I are talking. She uses the phrase 'to be totally subjective' and my naive mind is still taking words at strong value to my internal correlation for them. 'Total' and 'subjective' are words that have a lot of import to me at the moment, but I'm starting to understand the mediating function of words between subjectivities and the contrast between what leaps to mind when she says 'totally subjective' and my understanding of what she really intends me to think is so huge it makes me choke and laugh. I've got your total subjectivity, right here. [I still laugh, thinking about this. I didn't mean to be unkind, it was just overwhelming and unrelated to what she was saying. For a moment I thought she really was able to be totally subjective simply by saying so.]

[There is] no difference between right-on-red law and oxidation of iron in rusting. Both are just local customs.

I pick up my glasses to put them on and the asymmetry of my head is enormous. I feel my teeth grind against each other, feel how much my body spirals, and I'm sad. I pick up my sunglasses a moment later, and they are in the same category as the glasses, but different - not being custom-fitted, they move differently, and the three-dimensional difference is tangible, a chiral variant. I wonder if I would be much, much better at complex geometry. Math is pretty again.

The universe is clockwise. I remember that from yesterday. But when I woke up this morning, it was counter-clockwise. This relates to my left/right balance issue; I am misperceiving the direction, perhaps? I close one eye, my left (RVF), and breathe deeply. The universe Necker-cubes back to clockwise, and I dwell for a time in the 'weakness' of my right eye, remembering, strengthening my connection to that perception from this side of my brain. I know that my worsening right rhomboid/ infraspinatus/ trapezius/ latissimus pain is the result of ignoring my left side; distrusting my weakness, denying the memory of years of pain, still. I am happy; I have a path to recovery. I am aware that this is an insight. It was not granted to me from on high; it is not a message from elsewhere (see earlier, there is no external authority). It is a fact just like 'blue eyes' or 'bad haircut' or 'hexagonal hydrogen-to-hydrogen bonds become stronger than local entropy in water at 0 degrees celsius around here' that I was able to perceive.

We walk on the beach, and L– assiduously avoids being upwind of me while she smokes. I want to tell her that seeing a cigarette surrounds me with every sensation associated with them and that the oddness introduced into her walking behavior is much more distracting than the smoke could be, but I am completely incapable and it doesn't really matter anyway. She is being kind and I love her.

The tide is very far out and I enjoy the sensation of the ocean being at arm's length, and see where it's going to come back. I feel dizzily lost and enjoy the feel of the small rip currents formed by the curl of the dunes. I see how I could be trapped by the water and shiver; Tyger Tyger, I could be drowned while I enjoy the sound of the percussion of the waves. A small voice sets a timer on how long I will stay here. [And I take some pride in the fact that I have a mind that is good at taking care of me, that will set that timer and not interrupt me with worry until it goes off, so I can safely devote my attention to other things.]

Science - If everything is simply everything's way of noticing itself, pointing out patterns seems absurd. But being a scientist, ie, noticing things, is a joy and the whole point. It's the tiny details that seems ludicrous. [The notion that any one detail is better, or above all that a model has anything to do with reality.]

Religion

We talk about a definition for religion. More to add, but essentially that I find it hard to identify something that isn't religion. [Everything is religion.] Peak experiences are going to be a moving target [that is, while math is the study of models, the study of peak experiences has an open lambda closure (sorry, lambda calculus is just the best way to explain it) in that what is 'peak' is a function specific to a particular subjectivity, and will have to be amended as we grow. Any religion we build, that is, any spiritual technology/religious function I might create to as James defines 'associate man with the transcendent' has to have dynamism built into it. This is the cleverness of Mr. J. H. Christ and Mr. G. Buddha. They did an excellent job of making definitions relative, before their followers started eating the menu instead of the meal and Christianity in particular ossified into the petty, cruel mess it now favors.]

Food

We eat at the Tibetan place we love because they genuinely prepare North Indian food with all its layers and complexity intact - I've never been anywhere like it in the States. The food is sublime. The wine is a clumsy failure; I can feel the minerals in the soil reach out and be blunted by the naive sweetness, clubbed to death like a defenseless baby seal. I think again that aesthetes of wine know what they're doing, and their attempts to describe wine are also attempts to harness a dogmatic verbal system. Us religion folks may benefit from talking with them.

Body

Today, I love my body. I am tall and strong and happy. My posture is good and nothing hurts. I dance a lot. I am astonished by how great my body is. I laugh every time I walk by the mirror, which I conspire to do frequently.

Lessons for the future

Fewer things. The closest thing to this and the route to broadening consciousness, that is, 'identification with formerly non-self' is unalloyed attention. Multitasking is silly, or rather any multitasking that requires conscious attention. [Here I was thinking of the kind of multitasking that is built in to our bodies - digesting food, up to perhaps balance while reading, etc.] Cultivate attention; 'never whistle while you're pissing' moves one notch further toward being my next tattoo.

Fewer things in every sense. Possessions are so easy to have, but each carries with it [or, more, demands you carry] a tiny fragment of your values [devote a small amount of your attention to carrying it]. One is the constantly progressing product of interactions with the universe. Own nothing; keep near you the things you value. ['Omnea mea mecum porto'.] This is the Buddhist doctrine of clinging as explained by Alan Watts and others. Leap lightly and love each step. Any step not loved is a stumble. [I cry, just a little bit, reading this only two months later.]

Identification of self with more is something I bring back as a goal. The broader Self I can experience, the better. Individuals should be large in extent in time and space [and subject].

[Miscellaneous notes I can't delete:]

A child boy on the street can't take his eyes off me. I smile; I talk with him. He's about five years old, playing on my steps as his mother takes him on a walk around the block. [Old people and children notice me a lot more, or I notice them, or we notice each other, for a few weeks after.]

PULL PIN SIX!

Ha ha ha. Zelazny made great hay of the LSD experience. Walking to shadows, the relationship between selves. Pull pin six!

right eye/left eye

I underuse my right eye.

[Finally - all this added:]

One of my favorite meditations has become easier for me, or one has been suggested to me by the experience. I call it the moment-to-moment or the continuity meditation, when I have to call it. I 'attentionate', devote my attention to, the act of perceiving time. How big is a thought? Is this moment of thought the same as the last one, or is it a new one? What makes the border? How long can a thought be? None of these are individually considered, of course; rather I am trying to examine the state-of-thinking. 'Examine' is really not the correct word. I am devoting myself to being the state-of-being-thought/perspective, I suppose. Making of myself only the act of making myself. I find this meditation nearer at hand now, when I close my eyes and think of it.

And I find my mood still (+2 months) very even. Kind, thoughtful, happy, I dare say. I've been called 'wise' four or five times in the last few months; hardly all new, but still it stands out. I feel less desirous, more excited about doing than having. I've felt this before, of course, to one degree or another, but this seems different, to be with less effort; a higher baseline of such a state. And my attention is less fractured; I discard multi-tasking.

I could be sad when I read this and see that it has in some ways become more distant. But I'm not; I'm doing Well. I will know what I need to know when I need to know it.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 77462

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 30

Published: Nov 28, 2013	Views: 50,310

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LSD (2) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Hangover / Days After (46), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit

		 AL-LAD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

I am moderately experienced with LSD, and before this had tried AL-LAD twice (150 and 75 µg).

At 150 µg, AL-LAD felt quite clear-headed and nicely euphoric, but missing the sense of 'oneness' that a decent LSD dose provides. I decided on a single 150 µg tab of AL-LAD with two-thirds of a strong LSD blotter purchased online almost 2 years ago. It was advertised at 250 µg but was probably more like 150, so what I took was maybe around 100 µg. But who really knows?

The setting: I had the flat to myself for a few days, and since I prefer tripping alone, this was the best I could get. I sadly have no access to the great outdoors (but then again, it's winter). So at 11:45 PM, I jammed both blotters in my cheeks and prepared for what was to come.

I started feeling the first effects within 25 minutes.

I started feeling the first effects within 25 minutes.

 It started with noticeable mucus buildup. I put on some classic dub techno and sat on the couch as the drugs started to take effect.

Normally on a strong dose of LSD, the come-up can be a bit disconcerting — I may fear for my sanity and have to remind myself to relax. What happened here was different though: there was an 'observer' (to borrow from Ann Shulgin) part of myself noticing how it felt like I was losing my mind. I attribute this to the AL-LAD: as though it was keeping part of my ego intact while the LSD slowly dissolved the rest. This peculiar duality of effects was noticeable throughout the whole trip. Physically I did feel a bit awkward, not quite knowing what to do with myself as I got more and more restless. I started thinking about my relationship with the people I live with (how entangled our lives had become, my stuff being spread about the apartment like an extension of myself), and as I caught myself pacing about my room and over-thinking, I decided to calm down on the couch again.

As my field of vision got more and more 'melty', now with patterns flowing and ebbing in the grain of the wood floor and furniture, I felt I might be in for quite a ride. I didn't try to keep track of time too much, but soon enough I found myself stretching my arms in the doorframe of my bedroom and breathing deeply as I got more and more overwhelmed, reminding myself that I'd taken a drug.

I tried lying down on my bed for a bit, and that's when I had the first of a series of peaks. LSD users are probably familiar with 'pulling' tension in the neck and back when the drug hits the strongest. I felt it quite intensely, but it was more pleasant than usual, and nowhere near as concerning as it has been in the past (with a full LSD tab from the same batch, for example).

As I lay there, I closed my eyes to see bright lights and spiraling patterns. Then I heard remarkable sonic distortions - something not unlike Shepard tones, but with crazy, irregular fluctuations in rhythm (as if someone was messing with the LFO on an analog synthesizer). It should be noted that I suffer from tinnitus, so it might have something to do with it. I wondered if these sounds were distinct from my tinnitus, but couldn't tell them apart. The tension in the back of my head got quite intense and I felt almost as I'd had a mini-seizure (for the lack of a better word). For a moment I thought I'd blacked out, and I remember telling myself 'what the hell was THAT?' as I got up from my bed.

Then it hit me - I was now full-on tripping.  I decided to play some demos a friend had just sent me. I found it so good I couldn't help but play one particular track over and over, in absolute awe of it. I sent him an email about how a particular sound kept making me laugh (days later I explained to him that I was tripping).

I then had echos of a previous trip from 2 years ago that had been very intense (I had flat-out forgotten that I was on a drug): something in me kept repeating 'I just had an LSD' (as if it's an event that 'happens' to you) and 'this is why people take LSD': that indescribable sensation of oneness, of time-and-spacelessness. Only this time I was going back and forth between that kind of confusion and a somewhat more functional state of mind, which again I attribute to the AL-LAD.

I spontaneously started stretching (as happens almost every time I take LSD), then found myself in that familiar acid headspace, welcoming me back. I felt relieved: this time there were no sinister undertones at all, and no sense that I might lose control, as I still had that observer around, even when things got pretty intense with that 'sensation there are no words for' (I guess the best phrase for that would be 'ego-dissolving'?). Over the course of the trip I felt up to 4 or 5 long waves of exquisitely intense euphoria, unlike anything I've ever felt — as if my body was pure energy. Whenever the peak receded, I tried to think about what to call it — seizure? Peak? Full-body orgasm? Absolutely beautiful. I kept telling myself 'don't try to put words on it' and 'enjoy it while it lasts'. I remembered the title of the Capra film, 'You can't take it with you', which I think applies quite well to the psychedelic experience (although completely unrelated to the actual film). I thought to myself how the psychedelic mindset always feels like a switch has been flicked on. When sober, it's nearly impossible to recall just how one feels while tripping, and it's always a pleasure to revisit that realm.

At one point I found myself crouching in my room, nodding along to some music, only to realize there was none playing from my speakers — it was a (real) piece playing in head. I laughed hard at this. I wondered if I was functional enough to try making music myself and turned on various synths. But then I couldn't be bothered. I was enjoying the trip and the silence so much (in a Cageian way perhaps?) that I was completely indifferent to having music playing or not at that point. I had some thoughts about how music is so much about throwing one's ego out there, and felt it was more appropriate to contemplate silence for a while.

After enjoying a few more 'moments of eternity', I found a memento a dear friend had just given me a few days prior, deep in my jean pocket. As I took it out, I immediately thought of her and was filled with an immense joy. That little object was just full of her love. I laughed heartily, kneeled and kissed it. It was as though the memento and my friend were one and the same — she was there with me in my hand. I briefly tried writing to her but couldn't find words — and my observer rightly advised me against doing that while tripping (although she is fully aware and supportive of those experiments of mine). Needless to say it was a profoundly beautiful moment.

As I delighted in a few more of the peaks, I finally decided to play some music, which sounded absolutely amazing. In fact, I don't recall music ever sounding this exciting on either LSD or AL-LAD alone. I played a particular piece repeatedly, then sent a quick note of appreciation to its creator. I also reflected on my inferiority complex toward other musicians, and the need to rid myself of all jealousy and simply get out there (in contradiction with my earlier thoughts!).

Visually, things never got too intense, which was a bit of a surprise. Maybe I just didn't focus enough on that aspect. I had flashes of faces forming patterns in the wood floor, but not much more. Some were sinister-looking, but I was able to laugh them off. Catching glimpse of one the cats drinking water, I briefly saw a pattern of demonic faces stretching accross the floor from where the cat was, which I thought was absolutely hilarious (and a great Photoshop idea). When I finally looked at myself in the mirror, I was astounded to see myself looking perfectly normal - pupils not even dilated.

I eventually started coming down, and this is where I became more introspective, questioning my interactions with others, my place among my peers and my friends. Reflecting on a past relationship and seeing where I was still needlessly negative about my former partner (who is still a dear friend). I caught myself thinking negatively about her and resolved to stop judging others for what I perceive to be faults but are in fact my own lack of empathy.

Now we get to the bad part: the comedown was simply interminable.

the comedown was simply interminable.

 At first I was seeing strobe-like flashes in my field of vision as I closed my eyes. Melatonin proved useless. I was simply restless for hours in bed, turning to my phone to spew silly non-sequiturs on social media. I also noticed I was getting quite a headache. It wasn't until 2 or maybe 3 PM that I was finally able to sleep, after taking some Ibuprofen. I did not sleep long then, but that evening I went to bed before 10 PM and had vivid dreams. The next day I found myself in a rather foul mood, which persisted for quite a while. I napped a number of times and didn't accomplish much. For the remainder of the week I slept much more than usual.

Would I try this again? Probably, but not soon. I think I may not try AL-LAD on its own now that I've felt how LSD can complement it so nicely. Overall, it was a positive and supremely euphoric experience. I don't remember laughing so much on a psychedelic since my first mushroom trips as a teenager (nowadays mushrooms feel mostly dark and anxiogenic). The main drawback remains the inability to sleep, as I object to the use of benzodiazepines and other sleep aids. I doubt I'd recommend this combo to anyone other than a seasoned LSD user, and I would hesitate to try this in a public setting, although it was nowhere near as disorienting as a strong LSD trip can be. As with all intense psychedelic trips, full integration might take a while. This might prove tricky, since part of me still felt 'sober', taking in the euphoria only for it what it was. There was clearly more depth compared to what AL-LAD alone can provide, but I feel a higher ratio of LSD might be preferable (although there is a higher risk of losing it!)

Post-scriptum about the bodyload:

This combo is not without its share of physical side-effects. The only word I could find to describe my body as I was tripping was 'blurry'. There was some gastric weirdness (I certainly passed a lot of gas after the last of the intense peaks), but no pain — and I've experienced excruciating gut pain on LSD before. My gums and teeth felt uncomfortable at times. And the aforementioned headache was quite unpleasant.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 107671

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 33

Published: Jan 7, 2016	Views: 9,329

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AL-LAD (603), LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 10 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Escitalopram
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:00
		 500 mg
		 oral
		 Mescaline
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 0:00
		 30 ml
		 oral
		 Bismuth Subsalicylate
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 3:00
		 0 hits
		 smoked
		 XLR-11
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 4:00
		 100 ug
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 5:00
		 50 mg
		 smoked
		 DMT
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 5:30
		 2 hits
		 smoked
		 XLR-11
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 7:00
		 3 hits
		 smoked
		 XLR-11
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 10:00
		 30 mg
		 oral
		 Codeine
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   120 lb

Having a fair bit of experience with LSD and DMT, I wanted to try something new for New Years Eve. My friend and I each took 500mg of mescaline HCL which we put into gelatin capsules. Having read that mescaline causes nausea I took it with 30ml of Pepto Bismol. He took 15ml at first. We were accompanied by another friend who took 2 tabs of LSD (rated at 100ug each). My friend and I are relatively small people, about 120lbs and 5'5'. I am on 10mg of escitalopram, he isn't on any medication. The friend who took the two tabs is on 20mg of citalopram.

Effects are noticed within the first 30 minutes. It hits about 10 minutes before my friend who took acid felt anything. As the effects build, so does the nausea. It is quite bearable, mostly an upset stomach and general discomfort. I note that the mescaline is very different from acid in terms of how it hits. It is constant and gradual. There doesn't seem to be any peaks or high points like my friend on two tabs is experiencing. He's cranked up and energetic, while my friend and I feel incredibly peaceful.

I note that the mescaline is very different from acid in terms of how it hits. It is constant and gradual. There doesn't seem to be any peaks or high points like my friend on two tabs is experiencing. He's cranked up and energetic, while my friend and I feel incredibly peaceful.

 The visuals are fairly strong as far the visuals I've experienced on acid were like. Christmas lights outside seem brighter, everything is breathing/warping, and when I look at my carpet with flower patterns on it, it appears as though the flowers are swaying within the wind.

The effects continuously build in intensity. About two hours in, my nausea is gone. My friend still feels ill, and takes another 15ml of pepto bismol. Within 30 minutes he's totally fine. If I were to do this again, I think going above the recommended 30ml to something like 45ml would have been more effective. Neither of us felt all that uncomfortable though, and neither of us felt the need to vomit, so I suppose that was a happy success.

It is interesting to note that relative to LSD, mescaline does not seem to affect one's cognitive abilities nearly as much. A little focus is all that I required to have a regular conversation and appear normal. I didn't necessarily have the desire to do so, as it is much more enjoyable to be silent and take things in, but purchasing cigarettes was a far simpler matter on mescaline than when peaking on LSD.

At about the 3 hour mark, my friend on mescaline smokes some marijuana. I smoke a moderate amount of 5FUR144, a synthetic cannabinoid that acts like marijuana at low doses, and more like acid at high doses (synesthesia, mild hallucinations). We both begin to see tracers. The effect is quite like looking at stereoscopic 3D image that requires red and blue glasses to see. Outlines around everything are obscured by multicolored tracers.

This effects subside after 30 minutes or so, and we are back to the standard effects of the mescaline. A wonderful sense of calm, enhanced colors, warping of patterns, and breathing. Our friend on acid eventually leaves, and we are about 4 hours into the mescaline. Its feeling as though it is more or less leveling off, so we decide to turn things up. We each take one tab of LSD rated at 100ug each.

We feel the acid quickly. The calmness of the mescaline is being overridden by the speedy edginess of acid. Our visuals start getting much stronger. Color intensity is 3 times that of the mescaline alone. Mild LSD-like fractals appear in patterns on the ceiling, but to a fairly minor extent. When the heating system within the house turns on, I hear fast and beautiful guitar solos within my head. My friend of course does not hear them, it is merely my mind re-interpreting generic whirr of the rushing air as something very beautiful. The music sounds like nothing I've ever heard before. Its very fast and intricate. I'd never be able to replicate it on paper or hum it, as it is going so quickly, and I don't have the necessary musical talent to transcribe it.

About an hour or so into the acid (or so I believe, we haven't been paying as much time to the clocks aside from whether or not the new year has arrived) we freebase about 50 mnother 50 mg out of 'the machine', which is effectively a glorified crack pipe with some steel wool. It did not hit anything like DMT typically does. The changeg between the two of us off of tinfoil, and then a in visuals were very, very minimal. However, the change in our headspace was drastic. The edginess of the acid was totally removed, to be replaced with the sort of single mindedness that DMT provides. The calm from the mescaline was back stronger than it was before. The next 40 minutes or so feel like a prolonged DMT trip with the mescaline/LSD hybridized visuals. This is very enjoyable, and seems to redirect the trip from a general craziness into a focused and calm direction of external information. Its hard to put into words.

As the effects of the DMT seem to subside, I elect to smoke a rather substantial portion of 5FUR144, and my friend smokes the last of his marijuana. He also takes a very small amount of 5FUR144.

At this point things get crazy.

My visuals immediately go into hyperdrive. The tracers come back 7 or 8 times stronger. The edges around my friend are warping along the edges of his face, flowing along his bone and muscle structure. The traces are constantly changing color, and consist of 3-4 layers in constant movement that look much like something from apocolypto, or Maori tattoos. His hair is warping and twisting, he looks very intense, with this sort of psychedelic warpaint superimposed over him.

Looking around the room, things seem to be resembling 'mayan' or 'incan' art. I am not a religious person. I used to be a hard-line atheist, and prior to this experience I would describe myself as agnostic - open to the idea of a higher power, but absolutely opposed to any organized religious interpretation of what that power is. I've always viewed chemicals as chemicals. Mescaline was just another drug. At this point, the imagery I'm seeing my carpet get warped into, is so strikingly similar to ancient runes and designs from that region of the world I begin to have my doubts. My friend looks like some sort of ancient warrior, and the plant behind him is warping into amazing designs, that at the time seemed to be very mathematically designed.

We put on some white noise in the background. We both stop talking for the majority of the next 3 hours. We both are overwhelmed by sensory input and experience an amazing euphoria.

I hear constant piano solos and other forms of incredibly intricate music within my mind. The synesthesia I experience is beautiful. I look at something with lots of color and hear more noise. I look at something simple, and the noise is greatly reduced. Everything I look at has this amazing, beautiful simplicity to it. My friend and I feel that the room we are in is perfect in every single way. As I look to my ceiling, I see incredibly intricate fractals being formed out of the material of the ceiling.

I look at something simple, and the noise is greatly reduced. Everything I look at has this amazing, beautiful simplicity to it. My friend and I feel that the room we are in is perfect in every single way. As I look to my ceiling, I see incredibly intricate fractals being formed out of the material of the ceiling.

They are constantly changing, and wonderfully complex. They tessellate with one another, and are beyond virtually anything I have ever seen online. I am able to control them with my mind, and can have them form anything I imagine within my minds eye. Over the course of the three hours, I find myself contemplating things about life, humanity, god, and the universe. I feel as though I'm lost within the imagination of my childhood, and before me, my every thought is animated on the ceiling.

The most profound portion of this experience was when my friend and I were looking at my bookshelf. We were so overwhelmed by this incredible sense of calm, wisdom, and knowledge. It was strange, without even opening the books, we felt better. Smarter. A sense of acceptance and peace that I have never felt close to in my life. It was incredibly fulfilling and spiritual. I felt amazing. It simply cannot be put into words. I recall thinking to myself, 'This is why we have artists. To put feelings and emotions into forms that cannot be expressed by words'. I am still able to recall that calm. It is the closest I have ever had to a religious experience.

It is the closest I have ever had to a religious experience.

 In that moment, I said to my friend 'If acid makes me feel beyond a doubt there is no god, mescaline makes me think that if he does exist, he sure loves math and fractals'.

After the three hours, things went back to the standard mescaline visuals of warping and mild color intensity. We smoke 5FUR144 a few more times and get similar, though lesser in intensity experiences.

I can honestly say this was one of the best experiences of my life. I have never expected this from any sort of drug. All in all, things lasted about 10 hours. I took a codeine/acetaminophen tablet before heading to bed and was able to fall asleep within 1-2 hours. My friend did not take one and was up for the rest of the night (about 7 hours).

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98866

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Sep 10, 2014	Views: 41,878

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DMT (18), LSD (2), Mescaline (36), XLR-11 (666) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   78 kg

It was my 13th trip, and the most beautiful. I was in a kibbutz in the north of Israel with friends. After a really sad dream about my ex-girlfriend I woke up at 7 in the morning and waited for the others to join me. We dropped the acid at 8:40, very fine stuff that gave me 11 hours of visuals a week earlier.

We walked to a spring nearby as the acid was starting to kick in, but when we arrived we found it disappointing visually. I was seeing visuals already, unrealistic looking vegetation, and looking through a friend's red optical sunglasses was really warped and beautiful. Red and orange sunglasses have the quality that they reduce the number of shades you see, so you see borders between colors more clearly. My mind on acid works with that and gives me more patterns, so more stuff looks like magic items out of D&amp;D.

Feeling responsible for the group (i was the only one familiar with where we were staying), I led the way back into the kibbutz in search of better visuals. My friend's girlfriend was tripping for the first time and I knew the confusion might keep her in one place for the next few hours where instead some beautiful stuff awaited elsewhere.

A kibbutz is the most comfortable community you can imagine. A road runs around it, but on the inside there's just pathways, everything is green, and grassy areas all over. These people work in agriculture, so they set up their own private gardens REALLY nice. As soon as we crossed the gate back to the kibbutz we were in flowerland. Flowers are amazing to look at on acid, I knew that and was not disappointed with the stroll across the kibbutz. Everything was beautiful. Roses especially are amazing to look at when tripping, all glowing from inside. We just walked around and whenever we took a turn we had to stop and admire the amazing flowers and trees and greenery.

Not too long after that (mental note: walk around more next time) we got to the house we were staying at. The garden there had a lovely spot shaded with a vine. The summer was over so the vine was green colors with large brown patches on the majestic leaves - it was really awesome.

Most of that time I was listening to really cool trance music. A few months ago I downloaded all the good trance that was hip in the isratrance.com forums in late 2004 and early 2005, and put it on my MP3 player without listening to it. On my previous trip the week before I sorted through it, and Lish's 'Free Fall' came out the winner. Really beautiful trippy music to blow you away, and not at all too harsh like many Israelis like their trance, on the contrary very progressive and mellow and most important creative.

It was hot, and we've been walking around, so now it was time to take a shower. The semi-transparent glass walls of the shower were swaying like curtains. The feeling was incredible. All of my good trips included immersion in water, at the height of the trip it's really something out of this world. I even played with the hot and cold water, and was really grooving on that, before I stopped from fear it would fuck with my system too much and I would faint.

After that a friend showed me how to see hallucinations without any visual stimulus: I looked at the bare ceiling, and after a few seconds what I saw was irregular, broken shapes like hexagons. Holding one point steady all of my visual field would become caleidoscopic. Neat!

Then I listened to some more quality trance, from the same batch: 'Bonky 2' by Bonky. Bonky was a dutch DJ and she died and there are two albums out. This one from 2003 is really confusing, top notch psychedelic music, very 3 dimensional. I was going through an art book I took from my folks. There is an incredible Renoir painting there, Noirmoutier, of a tree in a field and the sea beyond that. It can give some pretty nice visuals and on my last trip when I found it I was already past the peak. So I checked it out - good thinking! The tree was swaying WITH THE MUSIC! I couldn't get enough of it. The whole painting became extremely 3 dimensional, there is a lot of play with focus in that painting that the mind works with just beautifully. Tripping on Renoir is awesome.

I took a pen and started scribbling some thoughts. It was the first time I was writing when tripping, and it came out quite nice. I wrote some more stuff over the next few days following that positive experience. Why haven't I tried this earlier? too much nature tripping and in parties, I guess.

At some point a friend wanted to cut the trance and move to Pink Floyd. I resisted but when he said that he's going to listen to it on headphones in the other room I immediately became suspicious that I was losing something and let him put it on, not before he darkened the room which I felt was a shame, such nice visuals going... aha! I was wrong! listening to Atom Hearth Mother, Pink Floyd's superb psychedelic masterpiece, was an extremely moving experience, very emotional. Those crazy artists, why don't they do more projcets like this? Alan Parsons was the producer for this album by the way. It was one of the most intense musical experience I ever had, somewhat reminiscient of when I was listening to Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to Heaven' stoned right after I took up pot, only way longer, Atom Heart Mother is a very coherent and tight album with its wonderful ups and downs.

Then we listened to 'Meddle', also an amazing work.

All of this took around 6 hours. The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful, some laughing, some music, a little bit of nature - the second half of an LSD trip is always an unsolved issue  to me, how to best put it to use. I guess if I trip in the city I can go friend hopping during that time, or to a museum. In any case the most significant things I remember from the second half is tasting honey, which was absolutely fabulous, and looking at that vine again when the sun came down, under a neon light, which gave a magical silvery tint to the whole scene which was incredible as it is.

Writing this, a few paragraphs ago, I get a phone call that more acid can be had :-)

Peace

uv

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 47141

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jan 17, 2008	Views: 8,146

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LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)