		 DOSE:

		 0.33 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

There’s something fascinating about doing normal things on psychedelics. From movie theaters to airplanes, I have incorporated low doses of LSD into daily life (though far from on a daily basis) for over a year now, however physical activity was something I had never tried while tripping, micro-dose or otherwise. The idea came to me one night - late - as I was cleaning my apartment on a +-50ug dose (all “doses” are estimated by dividing up 150ug tabs and as always should be considered merely as approximations). For several hours I cleaned and organized while my significant other slept slept peacefully in the bedroom of our converted warehouse loft.

I was in a fantastic mood - full of that magical, never-ending energy you only have on those really rare, perfect days - and I remember thinking to myself “I feel as though I could run a marathon right now”. From that moment on, running a 5K on LSD was on my mind and I would only have to wait 3 months for my opportunity. The following is what I wrote up the evening after the race.

I wake up feeling flawless. An enjoyable night spent in deep conversation with a good friend the evening before had ensured a restful night of sleep, despite the absence of my partner - out of town on business - something that usually throws both of our sleep patterns. I had prepared everything I needed the night before - a third of a (claimed) 150ug tab of LSD, a Xanax in case of sincerely needing to abort (though I feared little chance of that happening at this dosage), and finally a Dramamine to counter the initial nausea I sometimes experience taking Lucy.

I shower, dress and begin my drive to the zoo at which the 5K was to be held. As I pull into the parking lot and turn the engine off, I take a few moments to ask myself if this is still something I still want to do. Beyond the experience of taking LSD and running with 1,500 other people I had a burning desire to see what effect on my performance the drug might have if any

I had a burning desire to see what effect on my performance the drug might have if any

, but there was also still a minor yet lingering concern about the combination of the physical strain of running a race and the mental strain of a significant, albeit low dose of LSD. Experimentation with smoking a sativa strain of cannabis before running my daily jogs had led me to believe that it resulted in greater endurance (not speed), dulling any pains or stitches and allowing me to zone out, focusing only on the music in my ears and the motion of running itself. But Lucy - well, she’s an entirely different mistress. I wondered if she would be so kind.

T:00:00

With one and a half hours to race start - standing at the entrance to the zoo - I swallow the cut-out rectangle of blotter.

I had arrived significantly early on purpose to allow for it to kick in properly while racing. I didn’t want to be peaking (as far as one peaks on a lower dose such as this) during the hardest slog between mile two and three but I also didn’t want to finish the 5K before the acid had kicked in either. Half an hour later the first of my coworkers arrives - I’m wearing shades but it’s June and sunny as hell. He was around in the early 70’s and would probably get great satisfaction out of knowing I rolled in with his old pal Lucy but he is, after all, my coworker - I hold my tongue. We people watch for a while, I’m still feeling baseline but in an excellent mood. Another friend/coworker arrives - she’s slightly younger than me but generally aware of my extra-curricular activities. Despite not knowing about today’s enhancements, I still feel better knowing there’s a fellow psychonaut around - just in case.

T:00:40

As we move further into the zoo, I begin to feel the creeping but not unpleasant feeling at the nape of my neck that I always get with psychedelics. I feel little pangs of excitement in my stomach and chest, and I know that my timing had been spot on. I would be running in less than an hour, during the exciting and often energetic come up of the first wave of the trip. Out of the ten of us that came, only myself and one other person were to run that day. We take our well wishes with a smile and a wave, and I motion for her to lead the way through the crowd, away from the pavilion we had been standing under and on towards the inflatable arch that marked the beginning of our trail.

T:01:00

I’m standing ten feet back from the starting line. Although no open-eyed visuals are occurring, I am more-than-usually pleased by the bright colors worn by the runners around me and beginning to feel the first little body shivers that Lucy sometimes gives me. I can’t wait for the race to start. Already the voice on the loudspeaker seems muffled, an indistinct garble of directions and reminders. Wishing my companion luck, I put in my headphones and start up the playlist I had spent hours creating for this event. It began with a few of those tunes, those fucking tunes that just take you to a happy place, you know? Everyone has them and they’re fucking magic. So there I am - basking in the June sun with my favorite records playing and not a goddamn care in the world, surrounded by the positive energy of a charity race with hundreds of smiling faces around me and Lucy is there now smiling with them - the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

T:01:15

I can barely contain myself.

I’m antsy, but not in a bad way. The effects of the psychedelic I had ingested just over an hour prior are now unmistakable. Despite a relatively-low dose at 50ug, I now note a distinct increase in textures, colors and patterns, and the music coming through my headphones periodically dips and dives ever-so-slightly like when a record player’s needle drags over a warp on the vinyl. I make out the call for five minutes to race start and a pang of excitement once again hits my stomach. Not having run 5km in over two years (my daily run for the past three months being only 3.5km, with no running at all for more than a year prior to that), I begin to talk myself through what lay ahead of me. What had seemed daunting the night before, now seemed easily within reach. I would never call myself a confident runner but as I stood there I felt powerful - determined to cross the finish line with a time I could be proud of on my own merit, not in relation to anyone else’s, better or worse.

T:01:20

I’m ready when the airhorn blows. A sea of people move forward, a mass of singular individuals each with their own hopes and dreams and loves and heartaches but now each of one mind and one purpose - onward. Life, the world, bills, a job I hated - all is left behind as we begin to run. A strong desire to sprint comes over me, enthralled and exhilarated as I am feeling, but I hasten to temper my boyish enthusiasm - how often in life have I charged ahead with good intentions only to lose steam or interest before reaching the finish line? I set myself a steady pace and begin to take in the myriad of sensations I am being bombarded with. Similar to MDMA, as I run I begin to feel the most delightful body tingles, exercise-induced shivers of pleasure running from my calves all the way to my scalp and continuing for a couple of minutes. There is an electricity to my mood, and I feel an extraordinary sense of camaraderie running alongside so many other people. As runners pass me I cheer for them inwardly and as I advance on others I wordlessly wish them luck - the level of empathy I feel is immense.

the level of empathy I feel is immense.

 T:01:28

As I round out the first mile a large hill looms ahead. I had walked up this same hill many times as a zoo guest and had been slightly dreading it, whether running while flying or straight. I press onwards, determined to put my best efforts forth. I make it three quarters of the way up, but have to stop to catch my breath and for the first time I understand how strenuous activity may not be an ideal psychedelic pastime for some. Had I been on a higher dose I could easily see myself allowing my labored breathing to become a matter of concern, however at approximately 30-50ug (depending on how much you trust underground markets) I have enough presence of mind to check my pulse and find it to be well within an acceptable range for how arduous the climb had been. Encouraged by this thought and after only 30 seconds or so, I begin to run again.

T:01:32

I am well into the second mile. The zoo passes by me - a blur of watchful eyes from cages, strange and wonderful noises reaching me through the headphones over my ears. I feel guilty, flaunting my freedom around in front of them like some punk kid cruising by a dusty back-roads minimum-security prison in a convertible during yard time just to get a kick. I tuck the thought away for later, not having the energy to spare on such contemplation. Despite my body screaming for me to stop, the good version of myself - the one that lives inside and tells me to be kind and be strong and to fight for noble causes and keep promises - that version of me tells me to keep going, to not stop. “You are, in fact, strong enough.” LSD often brings that version of me out of his shell. It’s all about what version of yourself you present to the world you see - you and I, we have a choice. Today, I choose the good me... maybe I will again tomorrow. My feet continue to pound the pavement.

T:01:37

I think I may be at the three mile marker now, but without any signs posted I have no idea. Could it have been two miles already? Time has for the most part become meaningless. I am nothing more than a pair of legs, hitting the pavement. If I am any more than that, if I admit any more than that, then all of the breathlessness and the fatigue and the pain in my upper body will become unbearable. I sink into my music, focusing on moving one leg, then the next. I have reached the runner's Zen Garden.

My breathing feels almost circular - as if I am not quite getting enough breath but never quite breathless enough to justify stopping. Sometimes I can be harsh on myself, often not harsh enough. This is a time that calls for the latter, and I don’t give myself an inch. I know I’m not setting any records with my time, but I’m going to cross that damn line as fast as I possibly can. I was obese only two years ago and couldn’t run sustained for more than 2 minutes - this is fucking huge for me and I’m not going to allow the other me - the lazy, underachieving, Netflix binge-watching me to dictate shit now.

 T:01:40

As I reach the last 3/4 of a mile or so, my vision starts to tunnel. I am barely aware of the other runners or the volunteers cheering at the sidelines. I don’t see the overpriced ice-cream carts or the animal “exhibits”, tiny fists slamming against glass while parents stand idly by. Maybe the zoo isn’t the best place for such an empathetic drug - another thought for later. Now, all I see are my bright blue shoes slapping the pavement, psychedelic tracers constantly providing ghostly reminders of the past as they appear, disappear and then reform. If I had not been exerting more effort than I thought physically possible I would have been delighted, tracers being one of my favorite visuals, but I think of nothing but keeping those legs moving. As I make a turn I realize that there are no further turns on this pathway - it leads directly back to the main entry and finish line - and I start to sprint as fast as I can, perhaps too late to make a significant difference on my time but early enough for every muscle in my body to groan and protest against me and yet somehow, almost magically, I don’t stop or slow down.

T:01:45

Coming in at just over 25 minutes, my heart almost stops for delight at both my time and from the exertion of finishing a 5K race while under the influence of LSD. My coworker finds me, and brings me water - after checking to make sure I’m doing okay she congratulates me on finishing the race. It takes several minutes before I am able to drink, for the first time I am uncomfortably aware of the rest of my body. My breath comes in ragged gasps and the feeling of adrenaline mixed with the Lysergamide - now certainly in full effect - is nearly overwhelming.

T:02:00

It takes 15 minutes for me to come back from riding the edge of physical discomfort; overload. I sit, and as the adrenaline and uneasiness recede they are replaced by an overwhelming feeling of happiness. I had not only completed the race successfully, but I had done it in a time that a year ago would have been unimaginable. In the past three years I have not only lost 75lbs. (a third of my body weight) but I have also shaved 12 minutes off of my 5K time. Thank god I said good bye to cigarettes, frequent drinking and the desk job. My elation increases as my coworkers come over to congratulate me - the other running member of our party follows shortly, and as our group is complete I feel nothing but contentedness. Sitting there basking in the June sun with not a goddamn care in the world, surrounded by the positive energy of a charity race with hundreds of smiling faces around me and Lucy is there now smiling with them once again - the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

There is, of course more to the story for that day and some of the themes from the 5K would come back around, however that is for another time. Would I repeat the experience? I have to err on the side of yes. Running a 5K on LSD was certainly unique, but I couldn’t quite call it unpleasant. It felt incredible to be moving at speed while tripping that’s for damn sure, and having headphones with a pre-selected playlist made all the difference.

Whether it gave me any performance enhancement, I could not say. Perhaps not physical, however I must be honest and say that the drug allowed me to access that special place of focus, concentration, and self-confidence that I’ve sorely lacked in recent years.

the drug allowed me to access that special place of focus, concentration, and self-confidence that I’ve sorely lacked in recent years.

 I definitely felt strong, but in a holistic sense. I would of course caution any readers to mix psychedelics and strenuous physical activity very carefully. At approximately 30-50ug I was at a relatively low level. It is certainly something I may explore further in the micro-dose range for my personal runs, but if the occasion presents itself I may just step back into that place of focus - the runner’s zen garden - yet again.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108882

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 28

Published: Jul 26, 2016	Views: 5,803

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LSD (2) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Performance Enhancement (50), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:30
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 NBOH Series
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 100 mg
		 insufflated
		 Methoxetamine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 9:00
		 2 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 24:30

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

I have always been something of an insomniac and most nights I stay up until around 4am playing computer games and smoking weed while my fiance and flat-mates sleep. I have a basement room ('The Den') with a projector, Playstation 3 and no windows which is perfect for doing this.

Recently I have become a little bit bored with this but haven't found it any easier to sleep so I started experimenting with mixing in a little Methoxetamine with the weed to see how it alters my perceptions. This has led to increasingly larger doses being taken of MXE and increasingly bizarre nights in which I feel as if I am actually taking part in the games I am playing. This culminated in the experience I am about to share. I am soon about to re-enter education and have decided that once the MXE and weed ran out I wasn't going to buy any more as I was finding myself staying up until 2pm the next day and then sleeping until 9pm.

I am a relatively healthy 25 year old male. My previous experiences include LSD, Ketamine, MDMA, Speed, 2CB, DMT, Mushrooms, Cannabis, Cocaine, Salvia and a bunch of other assorted things I'm forgetting.

12am: Have my first joint. I only have some sativa weed which makes my mind race a little bit. I stick on 'The Last of US' one of my favourite games of all time and start playing through it. I check how much MXE I have left and realise I have reached the end of the bag; about 100 mg left. My normal dose is about 2-3 lines totalling between 50 - 80 mg so there is only really enough left for one more big hit.

12:30: Decide to take a tab of NBOMe. I haven't tried this substance yet since I have a lot of acid and am a little wary of this new chemical. Apparently it is around 900ug of a combination of 25I and 25C NBOME. I place one tab under my tongue and leave it there.

1:00: I look at the time and It's at this point I decide to finish off the MXE. It's now or never, due to the very long onset of MXE and very long duration (compared to ketamine anyway) I need to do it before it gets any later. I place the remaining fine powder in two huge lines and snort them both using a straw. I'm  not feeling anything from the NBOME yet.

2:00: Departure from baseline. The MXE is definitely kicking in. I can always tell the onset by the sense of wobbly confusion and my hands and lips feeling weird and alien. Slowly the familiar setting of The Den becomes more and more unfamiliar and the events unfolding in the game take on a new significance as my mind becomes disassociated and starts drawing alternative pictures of what's happening. The game has strong horror elements and violence which becomes increasingly shocking and jarring in my current state. I briefly consider changing what game I'm playing but decide to press on as the intensity of this experience is a real rush.

2:30am Start feeling myself being drawn into a K-Hole. Normally I try to avoid going this deep with MXE due to its long duration. I am now no longer focused on the game at all but am still playing on auto-pilot while my mind wanders down increasingly bizarre corridors. I also now feel something else as well that must be the NBOMe. It's something that is counteracting the sedative effect of the MXE and instead of the usual dulling of colour I find common with Ketamine/MXE they are now a more vibrant and fuzzy colour. It's hard to explain and its subtle but it felt like something underneath the MXE propelling me forward which I was enjoying.

3:00 K-Hole. I begin spinning the camera round and round in the game so it feels as if I am on  a really fast carousel. I don't know why but it makes sense and is what I want to do. My head tilts back. Whenever I enter a K-hole I always feel as if I am being laid back by something as if to go to sleep. The light in the game throws a criss-cross pattern of shadows across the in-game ceiling. I start looking at the criss-cross pattern and then suddenly I enter the pattern. It is no longer just a pattern but now a series of cells, like biological cells. I start imagining the people I know being organised into these cells as well as other things. I can't remember much else but I  remember being deep in a K-hole for a few hours after that. My main thoughts were how everything has a need to become one, to achieve singularity, but how this is impossibly because there always seems to be two opposing things in nature, in society and life in general. As with ketamine, people I know are presented to me, friends, colleagues, family etc. There presence is always significant and as usual I feel like there is a big answer to a big question there but just outside my grasp

as usual I feel like there is a big answer to a big question there but just outside my grasp

.

6AM: Emerge from the K-Hole. Can still feel strong MXE effects and still notice an underlying NBOME effect as well which is welcome. Vision is distorted and broken. The game sits in front of me idling. I have another joint.

7am: Go to bed and lay next to my fiance. I am wide awake and only feeling some residual MXE effects but know I need to go to bed otherwise she will come looking for me in The Den when she wakes and she doesn't know that I take MXE down there by myself and I don't want her to as I'm not sure how she would react. In the morning after an MXE binge I always feel in remarkably good spirits and when she gets up I chat to her happily about our upcoming wedding and our dog, Jake, who is staying with her mum for a couple of days.

9am: My fiance and my flat-mate leave for work. I go back down to The Den but the lack of windows feels oppressive when it is light outside. I realise I have a window of opportunity to take some acid I have as I have the place to myself until that evening and no commitments or anyone to bother me. I take two tabs as I know from experience they are not very strong and keep them under my tongue for an hour until swallowing them. I listen to some music and tidy up the flat a little. I am in very good spirits. My mind keeps imagining conversations with people I was talking to at the weekend, they ask me questions or challenge me in some way and I answer them. This seems to be so I can conceptualise my thoughts more clearly or something.

11am: Starting to feel the onset of the acid as I realise that my flat-mates boyfriend, G, is home. Try to disguise the fact I am starting to trip hard as it would be opening a real can of worms to try to explain why I am tripping at 11am on a Monday morning. We sit down in the living room which is filled with sunlight and start playing Mortal Kombat. I'm aware that I'm saying some slightly odd things and am struggling with whole sentences and thoughts. I'm hoping he doesn't notice. I am loving the visuals I am getting, fractals and patterns everywhere which fill the room and cover every surface.

13:30 G leaves and I am left to my own devices. I am now tripping seriously hard and am loving it. My thoughts are racing as I have 3 or 4 different trains of thought at once. I try to tidy up the flat some more but keep getting distracted and caught up in something else. I have about 4 or 5 different tasks that I am trying to complete at once and realise I am only making more mess as I keep picking things up to put them away but end up putting them down and leaving them in random places.

15:00 Realise I need to phone my college to find out details for my enrollment day. Spend an hour trying to find the letter with the information I need as I know that a phone-call about this kind of thing will be very difficult, but give up after going through drawer after drawer of paperwork while tripping. I make the phone call but can't articulate my thoughts properly. The woman at the other end asks which courses I am doing and I can't remember. I panic and hang up. I call back again after practicing what to say but it is another train-wreck as all the words come out in the wrong order. I make the third phone call and although I must have sounded quite unhinged I get the information I need and write it down. During all this I get very frustrated with my inability to complete this simple task. I start talking to myself in an effort to concentrate my efforts and focus on what I am trying to do, which does help a little and I continue to do this intermittently throughout the day. I realise this must be what it to be mentally insane as I wander around my home muttering and moving things around randomly.

16:00 Happy that I managed to achieve the task at hand I go to the shop to buy some cigarettes. The woman in the shop asks for my ID which freaks me out a little and then she wants to talk about the the ID policy of the shop. I do my best to make pleasant conversation but am aware I may have walked away a little abruptly. I go for a walk around the block. I live in a very vibrant but poor neighbourhood with a lot of immigrant families and ethnic minorities. I enjoy walking around and taking in the sights and sounds and people-watching through my sunglasses. I keep thinking how great everything is and how pleased I was that this was all going well. I go back to my flat.

18:00 I have finally finished most of the tidying in the flat with some considerable effort. I'm not tripping so much now but I always find with LSD that after the strong tripping (fractals, patterns etc.) goes away I am left with a sense of wonder and everything still looks great. I still have some closed-eye visuals.

19:00 My fiance comes home and she drives me through to her mother's house to pick up the dog. We have a great chat on the way there. My head is a bit scrambled but I find articulating my thoughts a lot easier now. She doesn't notice that I have taken anything and I don't tell her. At her mother's house we have dinner which I actually really enjoy. I hadn't eaten anything all day and LSD and MXE don't suppress my appetite an awful lot I find. I am impressed that I am actually pulling this off and the day has gone ahead without a hitch or without my being caught out taking drugs in the daytime by myself.

21:00 Back home, watch TV with fiance and flat-mate.Have sex with my fiance which is great, the only down-side being I finish too soon which is extremely unusual for me. I decide that if that's the only negative effect of the day I'm not doing too bad. Feel very positive about life in general.

23:00 Fiance is going to sleep. I lay in bed but find I am unable to. Realise I have been awake for about 48+ hours but still can't sleep

I have been awake for about 48+ hours but still can't sleep

. I am reluctant to go back down to The Den as I am worried that this will start the whole cycle all over again and I know I can't pull off another 24 hours without sleep and with more drugs without some serious consequences.

12:30 Give up on sleeping and go back down to the den. Roll a very strong joint to make myself sleepy and turn on the game 'The Last of Us' again. I suddenly start feeling panic creeping over me. I feel really stoned but it gives me this weird sinister, dark feeling. I try to concentrate on the game but it is very intense. I start getting into it. I am hunting monsters and humans with a bow and arrow and a knife. I enjoy the feeling of killing people in the game. I start worrying about the secret drug-taking sessions I have been having and the fact that I can't talk to anyone about the weird feelings I am now having as it would mean telling all. As has happened with previous sessions the word 'Junkie' and the question 'Why are you doing this?' becomes prominent in my brain. I start worrying I have a drug problem as I am taking increasingly harder drugs now by myself for no real reason. I start thinking about how this could lead to a split-personality disorder of some kind as I lead two different lives, one very secret, and exist in different mind-sets.

1:30 Annoyed by these feelings I go back upstairs to go to sleep. I lay in bed awake in the dark next to my fiance. I am still having closed eye visuals which are surprisingly strong and are now frightening. I remember the worst trip I ever had when I accidentally took a huge dose of pure psilocybin thinking it was ecstasy. I remember how I felt I was going to die and start worrying that I will die this time. I keep trying to tell myself that I am just having a comedown, that this was inevitable and that none of the substances I have taken are going to kill me but the CEV's are incessant and the darkness and silence are making it worse. I feel real panic creeping over me as the impossible shapes and visions I am having terrify me. I feel the urge to wake my fiance up and tell her how I'm feeling, to cry, to admit all and beg for forgiveness. I am put off the negative repercussions and the selfishness of waking her up at this time to do this.

2:30 I go back down to the Den and put on a podcast to listen to. I laugh a little at how bad it was upstairs in the bedroom and say out loud 'Fuck that shit!'. Everything feels better in the light and having something to listen to  takes my mind off things. I decide to sleep down there. Eventually I get some sleep and when I wake up I feel very tired but no longer feel any effects of the LSD.

This experience was one of the most intense I have ever had for various reasons. I have so far managed to not buy any more weed and MXE as that tends to lead to me taking it by myself late at night and I have decided that this is not a healthy habit to have, especially given the potentially addictive nature of these substances. I also realise it is only a matter of time before my fiance finds out about these late-night drug sessions and that it would be better to avoid that issue altogether by not continuing. Although she is also an occasional drug-user I don't want her concerned about my new tendency to take them by myself.

I have written this report as it is the only way to vent the feelings and thoughts I have had and I decided during the experience that I had to do this in order to avoid any negative psychological impact. I feel better for doing it, I appreciate the different perspectives it has given me but as with every time I take acid I always make a mental note to take it at a more appropriate time next time

every time I take acid I always make a mental note to take it at a more appropriate time next time

 and to stay off it for a while before doing so. With regards to MXE I am not buying any more again. I find it calling to me when I'm not taking it and compulsive dosing and re-dosing seems to be an issue. Me and my friends call it 'Devil-Ket' for this reason. I am also surprised and pleased with how I was able to carry out a relatively normal day even while under the influence of these substances.  With my new studies ahead I am pleased I have had these experimentations but know I need to nip it in the bud as it could so easily de-rail my life. I have seen the doctor about my insomnia and am now on course to resolve that issue which should negate the desire to take drugs all night long.

Thank you for reading.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104136

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 25

Published: Oct 13, 2016	Views: 2,803

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Methoxetamine (527), NBOMe Series (539), LSD (2), Sleep Deprivation (140) : Multi-Day Experience (13), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 3:50
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 0:00
		 2 hits

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

My First Solo Trip Report (Spiritually Cleansing Candy Flip Experience)

I had been saving two ~125ug acid tabs and a Blue Tesla ecstasy/MDMA pill in the bottom of my sock drawer for a few months. I like to make the most of my trips and I was waiting for a good time to have a solo night trip. As Tuesday, October 20 drew to a close, I realized that tripping that night would be ideal because I was in the mood to do so and I didn't have any major obligations the next day.

My trip technically started at 11:50pm when I put the two tabs in my mouth. I then started walking around my neighborhood while listening to my iPod. The outside atmosphere was calming. I didn't wander too far from my house because I got a bit spooked by the intense Halloween decorations scattered around my neighborhood, so I decided to sit on my porch and watch the moon slowly drop down below view as I listened to Atlas Sound's Bedroom Databank Vol. 1 album. The songs contained in that album are very personal and melancholy sounding and it was a great reflective way to start the night.

After about 20 minutes, my good friend (friend #1) FaceTime called me to check how I was doing because I told him I was tripping that night. We had an enjoyable chat as I paced outside in front of my house. After our somewhat brief conversation ended (he had to drive home) I was still in the mood to talk so I called my friend #2 who I knew was hanging out with my friend #3. We had an enjoyable conversation about life, music, and future camping plans. About halfway through our ~30 minute conversation I divulged that I had taken two acid tabs and that I could feel the effects rising. They were pleasantly surprised and stoked for me (as well as a bit jealous). A bit later during our conversation a cop car drove by--even though I knew I wasn't doing anything that appeared suspicious, I still got a little bit uneasy, so I told friends #2 and #3 that I was going to go inside and that I would talk to them later. They wished me a good trip and we said goodbye.

When I went inside at around 1am, everyone in my house was asleep. I quietly walked upstairs to my room. At this point my visual field was becoming distorted and the effects were quickly (and comfortably) rising. I had set up my piano keyboard connected to a reverb and delay pedal because I thought it could be fun to improvise ambient drones while on acid. I messed around with my keyboard a bit, but I was feeling slightly disoriented so I decided to lie down in my bed and listen to music. The first album I selected was 'Feels' by Animal Collective. Animal Collective has always been a fantastic trip buddy for me and I had a wonderful experience with DXM + 'Feels'. This album + acid took me on a fantastic journey in my mind. I saw so much when I closed my eyes that I'd never be able to remember or describe it all.

Some memories that stuck with me: I experienced getting reborn and I'm pretty sure my ego got stripped away to a high degree. It was a wonderful sensation. At one point I was making a swimming motion with my arms while lying down and I felt like I was literally swimming in a vast sea. I saw many creatures and fantastic worlds in my mind. I also saw some scary monsters, but I worked hard to turn my mind to less horrifying images.

After 'Feels' ended I put on the 'Merriweather Post Pavilion' album. It took me on many more fantastic journeys. For some reason the music put me in an erotic mood and I felt like getting naked, so that's what I did. I then realized that I was masturbating and that it felt amazing. I took it slow and gradually built up sexual tension. My whole body felt ecstatic. During the bridge of 'My Girls' I decided that it was time to let go so I climaxed and experienced one of the best orgasms in my life. The amazing thing is that the orgasmic sensations seemed to spread throughout my whole body and lasted for awhile after the actual orgasm. I was amazed.

After listening to 'Merriweather Post Pavilion' a bit more I realized that I had to use the restroom, so I reluctantly stopped the music and hopped out of bed.

It felt very weird and claustrophobic in the restroom and I was reminded of the time that I took shrooms and launched into a bad trip after going into this same restroom. Thankfully I was able to see things in a more objective perspective this time. I was in there sitting on the toilet for what felt like hours, but realistically it was probably only 15-30 minutes at most. I kept reminding myself that even though I felt uncomfortable and trapped, I had the power within me to get my business done, wash my hands, and return to my room; I managed to do just that and avoid getting sucked into a bad trip.

When I got back to my room I messed around on my keyboard a bit more and then decided to watch '2001: A Space Odyssey'. One detail that I forgot to mention earlier: I couldn't stop smiling ever since the acid first hit me and when I started the film I was still feeling euphoric and extremely smiley. Even the intro when the movie title appears on the screen blew my mind. I was ecstatic and so excited for the fanatic film journey that I was about to embark on. “The Dawn of Man' portion of the movie was so intense, epic, breathtaking, and entertaining. I found myself silently cheering in glee and raising my hands in the air in excitement. As the movie progressed, I continued to be wowed many times and marveled at the fact that Stanley Kubrick created such an artistic masterpiece in 1968. While watching the film, I connected so many elements of life to elements of the story; it was a mind blowing and intense experience to say the least. I apologize if this paragraph came across as hyperbolic, I was honestly extremely blown away and entertained by this artistic masterpiece. The acid allowed me to experience the story in such an intense manner.

At about 3:40am I remembered that I had a Blue Tesla pill sitting in my sock drawer. I had a mini internal debate about whether or not I should enhance my experience even more by candy flipping

I had a mini internal debate about whether or not I should enhance my experience even more by candy flipping

; I eventually decided that it was what I wanted to do. I took the pill, filled up my water bottle, and then briefly browsed Facebook for some cheap entertainment. One of my friends who makes ambient music posted a video. I was blown away by the emotional honesty this woman conveyed with her music. Her performance seems unfiltered and it's amazing how many human emotions she expressed in that piece. I watched her performance multiple times and then resumed watching '2001: A Space Odyssey'.

I could feel the ecstasy rising within me and I felt no fear whatsoever. I calmly sipped water and enjoyed the steady building sensation my body was experiencing.

By the time I was at the scene when the man dies in space due to Hal's meddling I was

in a state of pure euphoric bliss. Without even thinking about it, I brought my palms together in a praying formation. I also raised my arms up in rapturous awe at the divine light that I was experiencing so powerfully within me. I closed my eyes and meditated (while the movie was still playing in the background). Words cannot convey the all-encompassing peace, bliss, and contentment I felt. I feel like I experienced 'Shanti' (“The Peace which passeth understanding”).

I felt empty in the most beautiful way. I meditated on the importance of love and on how much I love my friends. Also, MDMA brought to the surface repressed negative baggage that I had been carrying around. For example, I realized that I still harbored resentment towards my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me multiple times (not too long ago). In my moment of meditate bliss, I was able to fully forgive her and let go of those negative emotions.

This experience was extremely therapeutic and spiritually cleansing. I also become aware of areas of dissonance in my life that did not match up with my desire to be a good person. For example, our family recently acquired a dog for free that I was not fond of because I considered him to be annoying and ugly. However, I realized that this was unneeded negativity and that I should focus on the positives (e.g. my siblings enjoy the dog) and not harbor unnecessary negativity. I came to the conclusion that the best thing for me to do is to choose to accept the dog and to not be negative about it anymore. This specific realization caused me to induce that I don't want to allow petty thoughts or behavior to seep into my life.

During this mediation I was able to let go completely. When the astronaut in '2001: A Space Odyssey' died, I imagined that it was me and came to a gentle acceptance of my own inevitable demise.

I've never felt so whole or lucid before. This experience was personally profound and spiritually cleansing. I am so thankful that I was able to learn genuine positive things from this experience and immediately apply them to my life to become a better person. The rest of '2001' blew my mind and I finished the night by listening and dancing to the hang drum performance about 20 times in a row. I eventually crawled into my bed sometime around 8-9am (I'm not too sure about the timing) and drifted into sleep. I woke up periodically the next day to urinate and listen to music until I finally got out of bed in the afternoon.

After getting out of bed, I called friends #1, #2, and #3 to share my experience. I also called my ex-girlfriend to communicate that I fully forgave her and that I don't resent her anymore because I was able to choose to let go of all the negativity I hadn't let go. I told her that I have no agenda other than to honesty tell her how I feel because I thought the act of me communicating my forgiveness could potentially help her let go of some negative baggage.

The feelings of internal love that I experienced were so incredible that I was a little sad that I wouldn't be feeling them in that way again for a while, but I'm thankful for my experience and I'll remember it for the rest of my life. So far I have taken legitimate steps to be a more loving, spiritually cohesive person as a result of this experience and I plan on meditating on the utmost importance of love daily from now on.

Thank you for reading my experience. :)

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 107255

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Oct 31, 2016	Views: 3,298

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LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 buccal
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   100 lb

This was my first time taking acid, and I had only previously ever smoked marijuana before that. I was kind of nervous, but very excited. On Halloween day, I met up with my boyfriend, who had taken acid before and reassured me that it was going to be fine. We placed the blotter on our tongues and texted our friend M to do the same. We then walked to the nearby middle school to meet up with M. None of us began to feel the effects until we were sitting at a bench in a secluded park. It had hit us all at different times too, from me, to M, to my boyfriend (B).

The first thing I had noticed was that I was very warm, despite the 45 degree weather outside and my inability to ever really be warm. I also noticed that all the autumn leaves and naked trees seemed very distinct and never-ending, yet also connected to each other. I became very excited and asked B and M if they were feeling anything, to which they replied that they felt pretty warm, but nothing much yet. By this time it was about 45 minutes after we had taken the acid. I put my arm out in front of me and began waving it, only to see that the image of my arm would repeat itself and trail behind it. I was doing this for awhile, until I noticed B and M staring at me. They laughed and told me I was tripping.

Once the effects were more set in, we all started staring at a leaf on the table. M and I both saw little black dots moving all along the leaf! B said he could not see them. I realized that I still had to text my father and tell him where I was, and could not focus on the task. I did not want to do it, mostly because I couldn’t remember how I talked in text conversation. I also was very averse to lying to him, although it would have been a petty lie. Eventually I calmed down and began to mess with my phone. It was very hard to use it, and took a pretty long time to think of the words I could use to sound normal. Once I sent it, I felt liberated.

I began scratching swirls into the table with a stick, and looking for all the little things that were appearing in it. B and M wanted to go walk around, after all, it was Halloween. I was scared to get off of the bench but with some encouragement from B I was able to.

We walked out of the forest and onto the sidewalk. We saw tons of little kids walking around dressed as witches and ghosts, and it felt like the most ridiculous thing. I couldn’t grasp why we celebrate this, it was such a weird thing. We were pretty paranoid about people “knowing” and found ourselves walking very fast. It felt like everyone was looking at us. We would find ourselves walking very fast and would slow down rapidly, only to find that the pace had picked up again.

We decided to walk to my friend S’s house, who lived a ways away. Along the way, I started to see letters in everything. They would be made of the grass, or trees, or whatever I was looking at. If I looked at a blank surface, a concentric circle pattern of letters would appear and repeat itself on it. Later on I realized that this came from the swirls I was drawing on the table.  Neither B nor M were having any visuals as strong as I was. We eventually got into the neighborhood where S lived and sat on a hill. B began to talk with M about philosophy; M was unusually quiet. He seemed involved in his own thoughts. I began to tell the others that I needed to get warm, even though I was already. I also became obsessed with the thought that my body and brain were separate. I always said “My body is telling me to…” and wanted my brain to connect what my body needed. I knew that my body was actually cold, but my brain was warm. I hadn’t eaten much all day, so I knew that my body was hungry, but my brain was full. It worried me and I began to feel bad about not taking care of my body.

All throughout the trip I was very emotional and felt in tune with everyone. I wanted to talk with everyone, even though I knew that I shouldn’t. I especially wanted to talk to family members and friends. At one point while we were walking, B brought up his cat, who had died recently. I immediately started to tear up and become extremely sad, even though I never had an emotional tie to the cat. We quickly switched topics when it became apparent that it was depressing everyone.

Eventually we got to S’s house and asked her for trick or treating bags (we had forgotten them). She gave us a few and stood outside and talked with us. S did not know that we were tripping, and was a little suspicious. She began playing with something that B was holding while M and B were talking. To me, it had looked entirely ridiculous and I couldn’t help myself from laughing. She kept asking me what was so funny and I just couldn’t tell her. We said our goodbyes and started to head home.

The letters had become much stronger and now said words like “dream”, “mesmerize”, “capitalize”, lights”, “sublime”, and “peace” which have strong meanings to me. All the letters took on a purple or green haze, and looked as if they were standing up on the surface they appeared. Patterns were much more prominent than ever. Clothes felt very restricting and unnatural. We got back to the school and parted with M, then went back to B’s house. We discussed our ongoing trip, and ways of thinking. I felt as if I had all the answers to questions, but no questions. I also felt that the letters were extremely important and I had to unjumble them.  It soon got late and I walked home.

Once home, I got paper and a pen and drew the swirls on a paper, tracing the letters that I saw. They had faded significantly, but I managed to get a lot of them down. It seemed like there were an infinite amount. I tried sleeping but couldn’t and occupied myself for a few more hours until school the next morning. I went about the day in a more positive and uplifted state and the visuals faded even more. They were completely gone by the next day.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 94950

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 31, 2016	Views: 2,123

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 2:30
		 40 mg
		 oral
		 Amphetamines

		   T+ 2:30

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00
		 2 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 10:00
		 2 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 13:30
		   repeated
		 vaporized
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Unknown

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

This trip was very risky and I could have had a bad trip.

6:00 pm:

Dropped 2 125UG tabs swallowed them after 15 minutes. Ate a burger and sat in bed anticipating effects. This is my first LSD experience.

7:00 pm:

Did not feel any different

7:30pm

I was looking at my fans ceiling shadow while it was turned off. The shadow began to change color and shape into a cannabis leaf. It was a very vibrant blend of Rasta colors and it began to get jagged around the edges. It slowly got brighter and brighter and in an instance exploded into a flash of color. They started spinning around and began to turn into shapes indescribably complex. It appeared the fan was turned on. The shadow began spinning with very bright colors following the blades. The shadow was so vibrant the actual fan seemed to disappear and it was only the shadow left. The room kept blacking out repeatedly I would stare at the shadow and it would get bigger and bigger until it got so dark I would think my eyes were closet. After a few seconds it would shrink and get smaller and it would repeat.

7:45 pm

I turned my light off and lay in bed listening to music. I could see the outline of the window in the darkness. As I took a breathe of air it would get bigger as I breathed out it began to get smaller I enjoyed seeing this and the longer I stared the more it changed. I began seeing very bright pink outlining the blinds and the whole room was moving. I could see the outline of furniture and they were moving and the darkness turned into many shapes and even a few figures that looked like faces. The entire world felt alive.

 The entire world felt alive.

 I layed in bed smiling so hard I started crying tears of joy. I was smiling so much it hurt my mouth, I laughed at just the thought of that I've never been so happy it hurts to smile. The thought of experiencing that for the first time made me even more happy.

In an instance it felt as if everything stress was gone. Just completely stress free and I layed in bed just mind blown at how happy I was. I was trying to wrap my mind around how you have bad trip. I asked myself “how do people have bad trips? I'm the happiest I've been in years.”

I also asked this because I wasn't in a good setting, my parents were awake and I was in my room which made me question how bad trips work. I was in a bad spot and still had the time of my life. I even had to talk too my mom and I did it just fine without freaking out or thinking bad thoughts.

8:30pm

Took 4 Adderall 10mg XR prescribed to me and smoked an 8th of weed.

9:00pm

Very heavy effects the entire room was shaking almost indescribable. The weed made the effects feel 10x heavier. Music was very different it sounded a lot more crisp and real if that makes sense.

10:00pm

I walk outside to get my skateboard that I left in my friends car. The cold air was freezing, my hands felt like they were frozen solid. My phone looks completely different, I almost got confused trying to play music on my own phone. I can't describe how it was different it was just very odd a lot of things felt out of place. The sound cloud interface was completely different and I sat there for 20 minutes trying to learn how to use my own phone. I laughed for a good 10 minutes after knowing I couldn't even use my own phone I've had for a year. It was hilarious to me.

4:00am

I decide to drop another two tabs I keep them in my mouth for 30 minutes and swallow them with water… I'm still feeling heavy effects from the first 2 tabs

7:00am

This is when shit gets crazy! I get on the bus for school and look out the window. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The sun was just rising and I was speechless at the beauty of the world. I realized just how blessed we are to live. I grew a new respect for life, for the world.

I finally get to school and I meet this guy I was selling Adderall too. He gives me the money and we are talking in the bathroom. I told him what I did and he said and I quote “your eyes look like flying saucers” I was laughing but deep down mentally was kind of scared that my eyes were wide enough for teachers to notice. He calmed me down saying “no teacher is gonna think high school kids have access to LSD if anything they might think you're just hyped up on caffeine.” We part ways and he wishes me luck. I was calmed down a bit by what he said. Still very worried I decided to take deep breaths and as I did the hallway moved with me it made me chuckle and calmed me down a bit. I started walking with my other friend. I wanted to be around someone sober so I can stay “down to earth.”

I wanted to be around someone sober so I can stay “down to earth.”

 He has taken tabs before so I figured if I'm gonna be around anyone it should be him.

7:30am

I had a free period first block so instead of getting signatures (it was my last day had to get my teachers signatures for grades and stuff) I decided to take the period to get myself together. I sat in the bathroom vaping with my friend (the one who had taken tabs) he showed me trippy pictures on google it was actually quite fun. The tiles in the bathroom were also very trippy. They were black and white checker colored and I sat there in amazement as it moved and changed under me. I looked down at my shoes and the floor would get closer and closer and farther and it seemed like I was spinning. Mentally I knew I wasn't spinning so I wasn't dizzy but in my eyes it appeared as if I was. I looked in the mirror at myself and stared into my eyes and I was amazing. It made me smile to know I was blessed enough to have people like this, someone who would look after me. He could've said no and went to class but he skipped and stayed with me instead.  It made me smile to know I had someone who would do that for me.

8:45

It was my last day in school (hence the reason I said fuck it and tripped in school) I had to walk around talking to all of my teachers getting their signatures.

Walked around getting signatures. I felt like every person I passed was looking at me. I made akward eye contact with a few people and their faces were very trippy and intimidating. I managed to take 4 tests I had to make up I was starting to peak as I was talking to my bio teacher… that did not go well. I think she knew something was up she gave me an odd look but I took my test and I left. I was walking around school for another 30 minutes vaping in the bathrooms switching every 5 minutes or so I wouldn't get caught.

10:00

I realized how hard I was tripping and it only seemed to get more and more real. My mom picked me up I said bye to the office and left for home so happy to be gone.

A few days later….

I can't describe how but when I smoke weed now it feels VERY DIFFERENT. I legitimately feel like I'm tripping off of the weed. I still feel sort of a “hangover effect” things are still wavy and weed is almost a complete different high.

Overall a very dumb idea and I should not have done it but overall I didn't have a bad trip had a little bit of anxiety but I take medicine for that so it helps keep the anxiety down which really saved my ass. If I hadn't taken that medicine I feel I would have had a bad trip at school. But I didn't, I had an amazing time and saw some of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Be blessed people life is an amazing thing live life one day at a time.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109595

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Dec 7, 2016	Views: 6,510

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), School (35)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 300 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Bupropion
		 (daily)

		   T+ 0:00
		 300 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Gabapentin
		 (daily)

		   T+ 0:00
		 50 mg
		 oral
		 Diphenhydramine

		   T+ 0:30
		 100 mg
		 oral
		 DXM

		   T+ 0:30
		 50 mg
		 oral
		 Diphenhydramine

		   T+ 1:00
		 100 mg
		 oral
		 DXM

		   T+ 1:00
		 3 hits

		 LSD

		   T+ 1:30
		 100 mg
		 oral
		 DXM

		   T+ 2:00

		 insufflated
		 DPT

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   120 lb

Dose: 3 tabs LSD (300-480 ug), 300 mg DXM, 100 mg DPH, some quantity of DPT

I followed a strict schedule for dosing-

7:30- 50 mg DPH

8:00- 100 mg DXM, 50 mg DPH

8:30- 3 tabs LSD, 100 mg DXM

9:00-100 mg DXM

9:30- DPT

(I was also on prescribed 300 mg Buproprion and 300 mg Gabapentin at this time)

The setting was in my room, made to bleakness. Auditory was the hum of white noise, lighting was only an extremely bright CFL bulb pointed directly at my face. The dosing regimen was begun after a shower, with ginger tea used to suppress inevitable nausea.

Nothing felt until about 8:45, after first administration of DXM and some LSD. My body is feelin off and very floaty, a strange sort of warm numbness. My head feels like it’s going to drift away, the typical dissociative feeling, associated with a sort of glowing pulsing patterning on surfaces, slowly becoming more and more prominent. By 9:15 I definitely feel very very altered, I have the usual dex walk feeling, but I get a sense that my limbs are jerking around in a strangely organized patterned way, probably compliments of the LSD. If you imagine you were viewing someone moving behind a grid of glass bubbles, their movements being jerked to the edge of the bubbles because of the glass’ distortion, that’s kinda what I felt like.

By the time I decide to take the DPT, I am feeling such a rush of the world dissolving around me, everything seems darker and I feel like my body is in all sorts of places where it isn’t. I decide to just snort it right out of the bag. Not really sure why I would do this, there’s absolutely no way to accurately measure anything. I guess my judgment was impaired. I rail the powder and it feels like someone shot me in the face with a shotgun, but instead of shot its glitter and fog. I just barely manage to put the bag down before I just feel myself automatically, reflexively fall backwards onto my bed. I lie here, the entire room a spinning mess of fractals and patterns lit in strange ways and close my eyes.

I’m not really sure what happened here, this is a complete blank in my memory. Chronology was impossible to keep at this point. I believe I may have fallen asleep or gone unconscious in some way. Either way, I definitely felt myself open my eyes and come to, albeit in a very strange world. My entire room had become dull sepia toned and high contrast, with values becoming washed out and everything looking flat. Everything was swirling with some unknown force- if you google a video of blood flowing through veins under a microscope, that is pretty much what my room looked/felt like (I use the term “look” pretty loosely from here on, my senses were scrambled and things were experienced beyond what could be described as senses). Objects were warping, swirling and bulging as if they were made of flowing syrup. I noticed if I dragged my hand on any surface it would make very distinct metallic scraping ringing noise. Touching and tapping things also made a metallic sort of clank. The soundscape- the ambient white noise had transformed into a wild flanging and warping and bubbling, random shifts in pitch accompanied by an ambient rushing noise, like water rushing through pipes, an auditory version of the visuals essentially. The world was in flux but was simultaneously so still.

Cognitive function was too alien to even begin to describe. I was not even someone else, I was something else, or some degree of alienation beyond that. However I processed this environment was likely completely nonsensical to a sober mind, with associations and thought processes seemingly arbitrary and random. It all made sense at the time though. My internal monologue had become a nasally voice speaking in the flattest most robotic monotone, saying random bleak phrases in a strange verse and rhythm. I decided I could explore further. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. I am sequencing the following events in a way that seems like a logical progression in retrospect, even though they unfolded beyond any sort of concept of linear time.

 It felt like I was caught in a furious wind storm, the fibers of my existence being strewn and stretched about every which way. I watched a world of CEV’s, fractals and afterimages of the room around me reduce into simpler and simpler geometry until they dissociated completely into a flat checkerboard plane. I wasn’t viewing this plane, or experiencing it even, this was me, this was me and the entirety of existence, into one unsettling conclusion at the depths of reduction. It seems at some point this too began to give way to a setting. All settings described hereforth are once again not necessarily seen, heard, sensed, or even experienced, they just were, and so was I. This setting was a checkerboard plane floating in infinite black space. In one corner was the familiar dex+LSD character, a block with a slab of meat(?) smacked upon it, chains extending from it into the abyss. On here was a vaguely humanoid figure, a grey putty in human form, with a metallic sphere for a head, two silvery lips upon it, this being speaking to me in that same internal monologue voice, this time it didn’t feel like it was coming from within me though, and it continued to ramble about god knows what in that monotonous verse. It was spewing streams of random words it seems, but at the time it all made perfect sense.

Eventually this world too gave way, I began to piece together some sense of “self”, some sense of being detached from the world that could independently exist within it. I became a black scribble with a checkerboard aura, pulsing pink and green, and I simply wandered off. I wandered away from the familiar, I could feel the strange plane and my actual setting my room fading into the distance as I js wandered, and suddenly I found myself somewhere else entirely. Somewhere else, something else, just completely beyond the scope of human comprehension, that is what I simply ambled into.

This was a place I have labelled “the dextroverse” (even though psychedelics played heavily into its existence)

This was something beyond recognizable human experience, typically a “space” is explored through sensory inputs and stimuli, and typically an beyond that an experience takes place within a “space”, a place defined by dimensions and an interplay with time. None of this applied, this is incomprehensible to the human mind, its incomprehensible to me, but it made sense to my dexed out acid brain, this retrospective is rlly the most I can make of what was probably beyond any description I can give. I’m going to describe this “world” in terms of sensory inputs even though senses were irrelevant, my form wasn’t even anything that could sense anything.

This plane was a vastness, an impossible sprawling and open bleakness, akin to a desert with a sky so imposing and huge it’s vacuum could be called monolithic, and a flatness so crushingly sterile and bleak as sun baked bones. I floated above this, a speck as insignificant as a speck could be. In the distance, the astronomical distance, were mountains perhaps, or simply some sort of limit placed on this yawning plane.

This place was inhabited.

Maybe I witnessed more, but only 2 sorts of being stick out. I would teleport around the place, space and time were meaningless and I could go wherever I wanted however I wanted.

One could be described as a sort of worm, it was dull grey and a sort of wrinkly, and looked as if it was made of intestines. At one end was a toothy mouth lined in dark flesh (?), akin to a francis bacon painting (see study for 3 figures at base of a crucifiction). Upon seeing it, it seemed to flatten my experience and input, if a visual analogy were made it would be said that gazing upon it turned the world 2 dimensional and slew any sense of depth perception. It pulsed with a sickly green and pink aura, its sinews pulsing and bulging and warping. I do recall that upon opening my eyes, it was still there, in my vision, flattening my room, sitting dead center of my gaze no matter where I looked. Interestingly the ambient noise seemed to flang and warp in sync with the bulging and pulsing of its body. It eventually faded. This one seemed oddly familiar.

The other were two immense beings next to one another, impossibly huge, larger than anything on earth. I flitted around them like a speck of dust in a draft. These monolithic beings were vaguely human shaped, their matter seeming to be a sort of swirling darkness. These beings were completely and utterly indifferent to me and to anything human or any sort of human struggle. The entire history of the world would be a passing breeze to them. They were so alien and so incomprehensible cold, indifferent, and unfeeling that the air and rocks around them seemed to glisten with color and passion. My presence wasn’t just nothing to them, it was beyond nothing, them choosing to consider my existence was a cosmic impossibility and absurdity, and even if they did they would have no comprehension of something so below them. Being near them felt like holding my brain and sanity to a grinding wheel.

I think all of this ended about 2 hours later. I noticed that old familiar thought processes were coming back, sensory inputs started to seem more …. Earthly, I was still very very fucked up and altered, but I was human again. I spent the rest of the night watching my roommate play videogames, my short term memory was completely shot for the rest of the night, having conversations was very difficult. There really wasn’t much else to note.

It seems as though parts of the dextroverse were informed subconsciously by art and other things I had seen (see: Mat Brinkman, Jesse Moynihan, Francis Bacon), I don’t think there’s anything I could describe as being more strange and bleak and surreal than that experience. I have never in my life been more separated from any sense of being human or even from this reality and existence. Hell yeahhh

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 107743

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Nov 19, 2016	Views: 5,146

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LSD (2), DXM (22) : Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit

		 1P-LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   45 kg

My brother was supposed to leave me alone, but at the last moment he said he had to stay home as he didn't have anywhere to go. I didn't want this to ruin my plans, so decided to still take the trip (although it did have a major influence on my experience). I also noticed the effect of many other external factors as well, like people I hang out with, things I‘m reading, my feelings, and of course the music, although unconsciously there must've been many more.

First I wanted to meditate for a while, but was quite excited so couldn't really get to it. I put the new Furious cd (Supremacy) and took the trip at around 10PM. Immediately after taking the blotter I started feeling cold and shivering and my heart started to race. I usually experience that when coming up, but here it was so immediate that it had to be a placebo effect, mostly due to excitement and a bit of anxiety because of my brother's presence. A bit later I started to feel the substance going through my body, through each vein, which goes along with the change of focus from the body to the mind. Those feelings are pretty usual for me, but in order to describe the whole trip as accurately as possible I feel it should be mentioned If only for the sake of people reading who have possibly never taken acid. After the substance is integrated, those effects disappear and the focus shifts to the mind and/or spirit.

I've tried to write some important points down, but found it quite hard and felt it was more important to stay focused on the music, so most of those things I've written are my impressions from after the trip.

After the Furious cd, I put the new Osom cd on (Midnight's shared blossom) and it started to play just at the moment where my experience was the most intense, here there was a duality as the trip became more intense due to the intensity of the music, whilst the music’s intensity increased due to the trip.

First I started exploring with the lights for a while. Initially tuned on the UV black light and lay on my bed looking at quite a scary poster with my head facing up. I felt so comfortable in that position that I found it quite hard to move, but knew it would be less beneficial to my trip, so I made myself. The mere UV light (even without tripping) let's us discover many things on the psychedelic posters that aren't easily noticeable otherwise (like the Theologist by Alex Grey where the line of energy coming from the third eye and the bulb of energy surrounding him becomes much clearer). However, the backdrops that were the brightest and most fluorescent were the ones that have the least to show (which can be compared to full on music and which precisely came from the period when I listened to it), These pictures, of mushrooms, Krishna and one of the ॐ sign, weren’t something I wished to be distracted by so I turned the light off. There was one poster, the Celestial tree by Venosa which I did intend to explore, but I felt it could wait till another time.

Afterwards I went to the toilet and had to turn the light on. On the ground I noticed many little beings, some insects, but also some beings we usually don't notice, I thought I was seeing even the tiniest bacteria and particles. When I returned into my room and turned the light on, I noticed the same thing on the floor and on the bed. Is our vision really so sharpened under the influence of LSD or are they just an expression of my fears? On the one side, they were frightening, I wanted to clean before lying down again, but on the other side they were an expression of such a rich invisible world, living side by side with ourselves and I thought they shouldn't bother me, I should let them live and accept them as a necessary part of our universe. However, those little animals also show something else, something about myself. Whether it is that I'm trying too hard to get rid of things I find impure in my life, that it isn't the right time yet and maybe I should be accepting them, or alternatively that there are things I find impure that I should precisely get rid of or it could also be both, depending on what it is about.

I didn't want to get distracted by the particles again and wanted to concentrate on the music mostly, so I turned the light off, this time for good. That's where the chaos and internal, but very real visions started. First of all I noticed how every little beat and every little second in the music is important (there are many subtleties we hardly even notice, but the track would loose it's meaning if it weren't for them) and how it's the same in life, every little movement we make makes a change. That's why we should always be careful with the decisions we make, although it isn't so clear how to decide. I think it depends on our level of consciousness. People who are more conscious can rely on their intuition in order to make decisions, but people who aren't there yet should mostly base their decisions on the reason, since they're very likely to confuse intuition with instinct.

In the music there were also things (I don't really know how I perceived them) that were telling me that I was trying to go too deep, that I was accessing forbidden information, but it wasn't like the government or society trying to hide those things from us, it was pointing more towards the definite changes it could cause, like in the track 'Only wish to warn you' where the word 'only' is really ironic! It was like reaching a point of no return, since excessive use could take me to such a level of advancement/awareness, that nobody would understand me anymore and they'd take me for crazy. But does it matter? Yes, because “they” may deem it necessary to treat me with pharmaceuticals to make me become 'normal' which is the opposite of enlightened. Although it was a warning, I know I’m not quite there yet, there's still a lot to work on from the outside. Passage from Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield that I read the day after, that perfectly relates to that feeling : 'Once we try to talk to someone who is operating in normal consciousness, or try to live in a world where conflict is still happening, we get knocked out of this advanced state and fall back to the level of our old selves.'

I was also experiencing that all the bases, all the roots I was hanging on to were falling apart. I saw myself flying, trying to hang on to something, anything, but it didn't work. There was nothing I could relate to that could save me from it. That's about attachment, how we always feel the need to find security and someone to reassure us, to protect us, by making links in the material world that give us the impression of that security, but in the end of the day we can't really rely on them and they're nothing but an illusion. In the end we're abandoned to ourselves and our spirit. When I wanted to get out of my room, being scared to be seen by my brother, I felt that I was trying to hide between my four walls, but that it was useless, since my spirit was far beyond those walls, actually it knows no bounds if I'm able to set it free, which I should, but don't know how. Or it isn't the right time yet...

I was also seeing some scenes of war and fights, but can't remember much about them.

Another thing I remember while listening to the Osom cd was that at each thought that I created in my mind, there were little men who had quite scary, big, green faces and evil laughs, that were making fun of me, defying my thoughts, making me question myself much further about each one and take nothing for granted.

I was thinking that I was going too far, receiving too much information which I won't be able to integrate afterwards

I was thinking that I was going too far, receiving too much information which I won't be able to integrate afterwards

, so I wanted to stop, calm my spirit down, but I knew the experience would've been incomplete if I didn't finish the Osom cd, so I listened to it till the end, then put the Magnum Opus track 'Only wish to warn you' afterwards. I had a hard time finding the cd, (as its writing is so unnoticeable), which was really disturbing, such a powerful music with such a discreet cover. I listened to it once and then I was afraid that my brother would wake up and come to tell me to turn off the music, so I put my headphones on. I found that that track was so complex that I should listen to it on repeat for a while in order to reach a deeper understanding of it. While listening to it I had some similar visions as before and also some family and everyday scenes, where the little men were laughing again and pointing out how everything those people do was wrong, how they were fooling themselves, living a lie. People need to be afraid in order to understand those things. However, while listening to that track, I was also reassured due to the sample 'sending you my love, straight from my heart, sending you all the love I have for you'. I'm not sure if that's the right purpose of it or if it's being ironic again because it’s an emotion we shouldn’t really hang on to, but since it's such a short part, it also shows that that moment when somebody's there to comfort us is as impermanent as everything else and thus an illusion (Buddhist influence). I feel the sample is also relating to universal love and not just a love towards one person we should hang on to, that's also an explanation.

All of those things I've discovered where things I already knew, but it had to make a deeper impact for me to integrate them, although I'm not really sure how to go about it. I hope I'll figure that out or be able to follow my intuition in order to discover it. I'm sure it'll already help me understand music much better which is already very important.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 76425

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 16, 2016	Views: 3,763

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Music Discussion (22), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 8 mg
		 oral
		 Galantamine

		   T+ 0:00
		 600 mg
		 oral
		 alpha-GPC

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00
		 10 mg
		 oral
		 Hydrocodone
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:00
		 325 mg
		 oral
		 Acetaminophen
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:40
		 4 mg
		 oral
		 Ondansetron
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 1:45
		 4 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 2:45
		 4 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:00
		 2 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends

For this experience, I really felt the desire to trip hard. For three weeks after the last trip I wrote about, I was totally buzzing on the afterglow. I had been re-examining several very big aspects of my life, and coming to terms with things that had bothered me for years. At the same time though, I felt I was also uncovering other issues in me that had faded with time, and after a while I just wanted to trip again to work on further accepting myself. At the end of those three weeks, and one week before this experience, I had ended up taking six and a half hits with a couple of close friends. It was an intense and moving experience, but a lot of my focus was spent watching the friend who was having her first LSD experience ever, and I kind of wished I had saved that sort of dose for an alone trip. One message that that trip did leave me with though was to laugh more, which I've really taken to heart and benefited from. But mostly, it left me with a feeling of wanting more, especially after how hard my friend was tripping.

With that trip I had taken 200 mg of vitamin B, 400 mg of choline, and 8 mg of galantamine, and I felt it might have actually enhanced the experience to a degree, so this time I decided to use 600 mg of alpha-GPC and 2400 mg of piracetam before dosing. I also took a 10 mg Vicodin for a headache with 4 mg of Zofran for nausea, and I had been smoking weed all day. My mindset was one of just wanting to go all out and really enjoy something, so I excitedly planned to take up to ten hits of LSD. I cut a ten strip out and then divided it up to four, four, and two. This was all from T+0:00 to T+1:45.

T+1:45 - I took the first four hits. I walked around for a bit, preparing myself mentally for the experience.

T+2:45 - I was starting to feel the LSD creep in but I knew I could *definitely* take more, so I took the next four hits as well. I'm pretty sure at some point after that I smoked some more weed to kick the experience up a notch, and I was definitely getting strong visuals. Much more than I had in a long time actually; they seem to have been increasing along with my sensitivity to the psychedelic state in general lately. I remember just thinking about how beautiful they were.

T+4:00 - I'm already starting to trip pretty hard at this point, but I decided to take the next two hits as well. I'm not actually sure how much of a dose I got from them though; I'm sure it was something, but I can't say for certain it was the whole thing. I left the hits in my mouth for a little while, but then I remember becoming confused by what I was chewing and then deciding that I really didn't need more when I pulled it out to look at it, and then threw it away. So who knows? All I can say is that I definitely kept tripping harder and harder after that point.

For a while after that, I really lost my perception of time. I can't really say what happened when. What I do know is that everything started to get very confusing very quickly, and I decided that I wanted to kick it up a notch. I grabbed an old smoking blend I had saved called '42 Degrees Green', which I want to say has JWH-250 in it but I couldn't say for sure. I smoked a bowl of it and the trip certainly did become more intense, but I felt like it was still just pushing up against that breaking point, but not actually going through it. Tripping is always very sexual for me and it sort of felt like the build up to an intense orgasm without the full release. The way it impacted the trip was all together not too different from the way that the weed was, just a bit stronger. It was bringing out the sexual edge a lot though. At that point, I decided that I wanted to smoke some of the salvia extract that I had prepared for myself....

I can no longer get salvia where I am, but I still had just a little bit of this extract left from when I could, about enough for three bowls. Unfortunately I don't remember the strength of the extract, I just remember that it was enough to do something for me. I have had an odd relationship with salvia.... I would say that it's probably the hallucinogen that has had the most reverse tolerance in me comparable to LSD, though that's not surprising based on everything I've heard about it. It really does seem though like one experience is just a continuance of the last to me, for both of these drugs.

When it comes to me and salvia, I've nearly always had the exact same experience with it: my experience of reality is replaced by one static frame in a void, an image that is just displayed in the background while I'm delirious and can't remember anything about my life, and I keep feeling like it's 'my turn' and I need to get away from this and go do something, but whenever I try to the frame peels away until a force pushes me back and it replaces itself. There's always a sudden emotion of 'Oh fuck, it's this again!' whenever the trip first starts.

There's always a sudden emotion of 'Oh fuck, it's this again!' whenever the trip first starts.

 There was really only one ever experience that I had with it that differed from this pattern, and it was the time I smoked it three times in one sitting. The first trip was just that kind of trip, but the second one was totally different. I stayed very much in reality's 'frame', with nothing replacing it, but everything started spinning very rapidly and entities started entering my bedroom, and it felt very dissociative. The third hit was like this again, but while the second was still a little shocking, the third one was actually quite sexual and very much like a serotonergic psychedelic for me. I was certainly intrigued, but I hadn't really smoked salvia again in a while. The idea of having to go through the first kind of trip again to get to the others was kind of off-putting.

I had however smoked salvia on 2C-I once while coming off of ketamine, and that was actually a very nice experience with some beautiful visuals, though the salvia effect I got from it was not very strong. This time I was determined to give it a better shot, and I'd never tried it on LSD before, but since I did love it so much I thought it might enhance the salvia nicely. I smoked one decent-sized bowl of it in a couple of hits, and then just waited. Suddenly my vision was replaced by the frame again, but this time it was different, and colored with the palette an LSD hallucination would be. I didn't actually get the feeling of being stuck or needing to move, but instead I just felt free.... Rather than the frame attempting to pull back and then failing, *more* frames were being stacked on top of it, and together they were building a spiral that extended out in front of me. For a second this caught me by surprise and I hesitated, and the frames stopped being added, but then I realized it and it was so simple.... All I had to do was let go. So I did, and the frames continued being added.... The feeling it gave me was orgasmic, and as the spiral continued to build, I felt myself slipping into oblivion.

Suddenly, there was no 'I' left in the experience. All that remained was a towering structure floating in an infinite void. This structure was comprised of neon blue girls all reaching up and grabbing one another by the leg while twisting so that together they created one half of a helix design. The camera angle that was being fed through this field of perception was one of following the spiral, and I can't remember if it was up or down, but it might have been both at the same time as this sort of thing has happened for me on salvia before while watching things zip and unzip simultaneously.... There may have been more to this, but it's very hard to remember now. All I know is that this continued until suddenly the camera zoomed in to one small part of this design again, and suddenly it was a frame being pulled away to reveal 'normal' (LSD-enhanced) reality again, and I suddenly came back into myself and realized what the hell just happened. I immediately grabbed the pipe and loaded a second bowl of the salvia extract, and took it in a couple more hits.

This time, the difference between the first and second hit of salvia for me again kicked in. I again did not leave this frame, but instead was put in a much more dissociative-feeling state. I was given a second point of view outside of the first-person one that sees through my eyes, and this third-person camera angle was actually pointing in at my body while quickly rotating around the circumference of a vast space that I perceived my own awareness to be inhabiting, and everything in my perception around it was spinning very intensely as well. I immediately and without question knew that this must be what it feels like when you are on the verge of death and your reality is just coming unglued around you. In my previous dose I had had to let go of the fear of not knowing whether or not I was still alive, but this was different; the message that I got from this trip was that if I pushed this any further I would actually have to experience my own death *knowing* I'm dying, an experience which sounded much more intense. This dose was just allowing me to ride along the edge of it so that I could see what I was getting myself into. Before too long, I snapped back into my regular body again and was just tripping very, very hard on the LSD, with a much more satisfied feeling with my experience than I had had before the salvia. I felt extremely euphoric in both mind and body.

For hours after that I continued to lie in bed in the dark smoking weed and that smoking blend, and just listening to music and thinking about life. For a while I was watching some sexy Bollywood music videos just because they were so trippy and stimulating. The animal nature feeling that LSD always gives me definitely plays off that as well. A big part of the way that this trip affected me, and that I was thinking about in that time, was that my last big trip that I wrote about had helped me feel more psychologically aligned, but I still had some physical insecurities and issues to deal with about my transsexuality. For a long time I had been thinking that if I could ever have an out-of-body experience it would probably be therapeutic to me in this way, and not just because of that aspect of it but also because of how those kinds of experiences relate to my sexuality, but I had never been able to completely let go into one like that on a hallucinogen before, and definitely never on salvia. This trip actually did validate a lot of those feelings I was having, and I found it to be a major stress release in that way. I honestly never would have thought that I would have such a personally healing experience from salvia

I honestly never would have thought that I would have such a personally healing experience from salvia

, but this experience really did make me gain a lot more respect for it. It was actually one of my most euphoric and therapeutic experiences ever.

I simply reflected on all of this and thought about where my life was going at the time, and how two of my close friends were moving all the way across the country in a couple of days. I was going to meet them in the morning, so eventually when day came I got out of bed and showered and tried to normalize, other than smoking more weed, and just watched Netflix and listened to music and thought about the night. I took some Librium to kill the end of the trip after a while and then when the time came I headed out to meet them and a mutual friend and we enjoyed a good walk through the park and some joints as a send off, and I talked to them about my trip. After that I pretty much went home and then just crashed, and that was that.

This whole trip was very refreshing, but I feel that what it did for me the most was set up the next trip I had. I feel like getting to that out-of-body point on the salvia really helped me to push to new heights with the LSD as well, because I feel like the reverse tolerance even works in the sense that once I reach a state on LSD with the assistance of salvia or some other hallucinogen, I can somewhat reach that state again on LSD alone.... Anyway, I won't go too much into that for now.

The last thing I'll say is that this trip really reminded me how much I like high doses of LSD!

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103246

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Dec 20, 2016	Views: 3,666

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Salvia divinorum (44), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Sex Discussion (14), Combinations (3)