		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1.5 - 2.0 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 1:15
		 40 mg
		 oral
		 4-AcO-DMT
		 (capsule)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

I had been looking forward to a weekend off from chores and responsibility, having recently moved house and started work on a new contract - it had been a hectic month, so I was enthusiastic to take some acid and listen to records on my day off.

1:15 pm

Approx 1.5 - 2 Hits of LSD, I haphazardly measured out some liquid LSD that we had previously watered down by a factor of 4 - as it was the last few drops in the bottle and we didn’t want to waste it.

By two o’clock in the afternoon the trip starts with mild visuals, euphoria and general wellbeing.  The clouds and the trees in the garden warp and twist, faint mandala style overlays but nothing major.  Closed eye visuals consist of greyscale fractals, machinescapes and rainbow highlights. Minimal body load and a really mild nausea. I feel pretty disappointed, I’ve been increasing my doses bit by bit over the last year, seeking some ‘next level’ and arrogantly posturing as a psychonaut.

3:30 pm

For some reason, the acid seems to be wearing off, I’d eaten a light breakfast some hours earlier of bacon, sausage and eggs - no bread or starches. The euphoria has subsided, as has the nausea. I complain to my lovely girlfriend (who is completely sober and busy with other things) that it hasn’t really done much for me and I announce that I intend to take some more. My vision is slightly distorted but I’m competent enough to operate the digital scales to check what comes next…

Next up is approximately 40mg of 4-aco-DMT, my source has told me that the individual capsules are 20’s but I weigh an empty one and compare them.  Satisfied enough with the accuracy of his doses I take two - for a total of 40mg. After popping the brown little capsules I stand staring out of my conservatory at the trees, willing the universe to show me what it’s got. ‘Come on then!’ I say to myself inside my head….

Twenty minutes later the come up is abrupt and startling, my conservatory and living room are outlined in neon, the highlights on any polished surface sparkle like sunlight on a moving sea - every surface is decorated with hieroglyphic writing that crawls and melts across it.  The world begins to shift, as if the resolution of my vision is increasing, the open eye visuals are the most incredible I have experienced to date.  3D geometry is forming on and around every object and unlike other trips it isn’t a transparent overlay, it doesn’t waver, distort or shift, it is static and solid, like a photo-real rendering of a cartoon.

What comes next is the most terrifying experience of my life. Looking out across my garden I notice that the plants and trees are changing, the surfaces smooth out and the colours shift along the spectrum, I become focused on one small area and watch as alien noodle plants grow where previously there was grass.  I stare dumbfounded for an eternity, time seems to be meaningless now, and when I break my gaze, suddenly and without warning, the world has been ‘replaced’. Every object is now rendered in stunning CGI - wireframe buckyball outlines of strange structures populate a weird alien landscape, where shadows have been banished and only an ambient occlusion remains - I become convinced I have been transported to another dimension or kidnapped by aliens and thrown into a replica of my home - a zoo for human specimens.

I feel very alone and childlike, I cannot understand what is happening and I am deeply afraid.  It feels like I am being shown some incomprehensibly complex system and being asked to interact with it without any context or instructions

It feels like I am being shown some incomprehensibly complex system and being asked to interact with it without any context or instructions

, I am aware of just how stupid I am. My memories are wiped, my sense of self is gone and I have no idea where I am or how I got here. The vision is completely static, as I walk around, the perspective changes, it feels like a movie set or virtual reality, if i leave the room and come back, the scene is the same as when I left it - the hallucination appears solid and permanent. I lose my ability to cope, having been completely ill-prepared by my previous psychedelic experiences for this kind of trip.

I am a fan of psychedelic art but I have never seen anything like this. In every other trip I have experienced it felt at least a little familiar, the mandalas, the flaming eyes, colour palette, the winged entities, the rainbow machinescapes and kaleidoscopic geometry, even the neon tentacles and visions of being a Mexican policeman - these were comfortable territory for me, not so this time.

After what feels like years, I remember that my girlfriend is in the other room, I am not alone. I swallow my pride and I decide to get help, for some reason I am absolutely ashamed of myself and all I can do is apologise for interrupting her afternoon.  I try to explain the situation and she manages to trip sit me out of this terrifying headspace.

We sat for a while in our conservatory while she feeds me peanuts and tea (she had not been replaced by the aliens, but looked perfectly normal) and I talked whilst she asked me questions and offered ideas, during this conversation I experienced visions of how the human consciousness is physically constructed, what pathways are involved in making a decision, or having a thought.  I saw each block of my personality and how it was connected and one by one each block was disconnected from the whole. As the network of my mind shut down I became unable to think or understand and ended up simply being experience and nothing more.

It turns out that my girlfriend had recorded the entire conversation on my phone, listening back to it, the aeon of mindlessness and the dissolution of my consciousness happened in the blink of an eye between sentences. After my mind returned, several of my failings in how I interact with the world had been revealed to me, lessons on ego, pride, selfishness and honesty had all been outlined by the experience and to be frank I didn’t feel too pleased about it.

8pm

Slowly, the vision began to recede, first my dining table and conservatory returned to normal, leaving only the alien terrarium outside the glass, then that too faded leaving only a mild disco light at the periphery of my vision and some closed eye symmetrical geometry which lasted for the next few hours and left me with a headache.

Despite the abject terror and confusion, I am determined to repeat this combination and explore its implications.

Trip time: 10 hours

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115341

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 39

Published: May 19, 2021	Views: 615

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LSD (2), 4-AcO-DMT (387) : Difficult Experiences (5), Guides / Sitters (39), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   64 kg

I had already tried acid quite a few times, so I was feeling pretty comfortable and relaxed when I took my tab. I was heading to a Halloween psytrance party with a few of my friends who had previously decided not to take acid that night. I didn’t do much to prepare for the trip, except for skipping lunch and dinner, because I always find that eating less food makes the come-up faster.

The tab I took was from a blotter that I had never tried before, so I wasn’t sure of its intensity. I took the tab at about 9:30pm

I took the tab at about 9:30pm

 and we headed for the bus, which would take us to the party.

It was about 10:15pm when I started feeling the first effects of the acid. My skin felt tingly and I started fidgeting. I really wanted to get off the bus and start walking but that feeling was easily controlled, especially since we had gotten quite close to the location.

The bus finally stopped and we all started walking to the club where the party was happening. By this point, my vision had turned kind of wavy, in the sense that the buildings didn’t really look like they should do and my body felt very bouncy.

We entered the club and I was in great spirits, especially now that I felt like I was floating rather than walking. When we got in, the speakers were already blasting psytrance music but the club was quite empty, so we headed outside to sit on the balcony. I sat quite close to the balcony railings, and it was so much fun to look down at the street and see people walk by. The pavement looked like it was glittering and all of the people seemed to be glowing with this golden light. I looked round myself and I realized that the whole balcony was flooded with these beautiful colours and everyone looked happy and warm.

I stayed chatting to my friends for quite a while and I kept looking down at the scene from the balcony quite a lot. I laughed at a lot of things, especially since it was Halloween and quite a few people were in costumes.

I had lost track of time by this point but it must have been about 2 hours into the trip, when two of my friends decided to take a tab themselves and another friend took half. I was really happy that they had decided to take acid as well because I wanted them to share this experience with me.

At this point, whenever anyone talked, I could see waves of colour and sparks flow out of their mouths and shiny lights seemed to be weaving in between the people in the street. Whenever I touched my skin, it felt really soft and warm even though we were outside on a windy night.

I decided that smoking a cigarette would be really fun, so I took one out of my bag (after some time because my bag felt really deep and cavernous and all my things seemed to be swimming around) and it took me a few times to get it to light. Smoking felt really good though and after that we decided to head inside.

By this time, the club had filled up a bit more and I was glad to see that more of our friends had shown up. I started dancing and the floor felt so smooth that I felt like I was ice-skating. Dancing felt amazing because I could physically feel the music whenever I moved around. The club was also decorated with psychedelic decorations like bright strings and lights and this was amplified by the acid. Everything looked so intensely beautiful and illuminated.

The people dancing were leaving colourful trails behind them and the music itself seemed to be creating colours and shapes in the air. I must have danced for quite a while, I have no idea how long, but the crowd got slightly bigger and it was amazing to see everybody have such a great time.

I went back outside on the balcony for some fresh air and I was standing there talking to someone I know and I could see these small glowing stars coming at me from thin air. It was so much fun as I saw them wash over me and whenever I moved my hands, I could see colours swim around in mid-air. Talking was enjoyable but a bit hard because I kept getting distracted by all the colours and I kept repeating how amazing my trip was.

I headed back inside to dance some more and my body felt so light and bouncy, it was a great feeling. By about 2:00am, I had gotten a little tired, so I sat down on of the sofas that there was. It was so comfortable and I had a great time just looking at people on the dancefloor and laughing at all the crazy costumes.

Eventually, I lay my head back against the wall while I was sitting down and I closed my eyes. When I did this, I felt like my body had turned to butter and I was melting along to the music and I got loads of closed-eye visuals. I then decided to dance a bit more and I could still feel that my body was very floaty.

I started coming down a bit by about 3:30am, but I felt very calm and happy. It was quite a gentle come down

I felt very calm and happy. It was quite a gentle come down

 but I did have to sit down because I felt kind of tired. At 4:00am, we left the club and walked to our friend’s car which was parked a few minutes away. It had started to drizzle and I was really looking forward to getting somewhere cozy and warm. The car ride was really good because the drive felt really smooth and fast.

We arrived at our friend’s place and we all collapsed onto his sofa, which felt incredibly soft and comfortable. We weren’t tired enough to sleep so we just sat and talked for a few hours. At sunrise, we went up on his roof and the sky looked more beautiful than it had ever looked. The colours were so soft and pretty and the clouds seemed so fluffy and tangible. The lights in the street were still turned on and they emitted a warm yellow glow like they were filled with sunlight rather than electricity.

I got back to my house by about 1pm and after a quick meal, I fell asleep for about 4 hours. I woke up in a great mood, feeling at peace with everything. All in all, it was definitely the best trip I had ever had and it was an amazingly unforgettable experience.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 93459

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: May 21, 2021	Views: 448

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LSD (2) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Glowing Experiences (4)


		 DOSE:

		 250 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Divalproex
		 (daily)

		 900 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Gabapentin

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 3 joints/cigs
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		 200 mg
		 oral
		 Caffeine

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

I have been on Depakote ER 250mg for about 2-3 months as a mood stabilizer and have been taking up to 900mg of gabapentin daily for anxiety for over a year. I often suspect I do not to be on both of these medications, but this experience report is intended to document the combination of the substances I took. I also am a regular caffeine and cannabis user.

Since starting Depakote I have tripped on LSD four different times all producing effects I did not previously experience on LSD before starting Depakote. During all four trips I experienced a great deal of joint pain after ingesting LSD accompanied by moderate pain in my upper left abdomen. I also feel as if LSD greatly increased my acid reflux when also taking Depakote.

This last time I tripped I decided I would take two tabs (roughly 100mcg each) and go for a walk out in nature around a lake near where I live. The come up produced stereotypical effects of giddiness, euphoria, and mild anxiety. I smoked a joint to calm my initial nerves and was quickly thrust into the full trip. A group of random college students had gathered to watch the sunset over the lake and make a small fire so I decided to join. They were all smoking weed so at this point I decided to smoke another joint myself.

After finishing the second joint I started to experience a greater deal of anxiety and decided I would take Gabapentin to calm my nerves as I had usually done in the past while tripping. About 5 minutes after taking the gabapentin I had the most violent acid reflux that almost came in the form of a dry cough which sent the very distinct taste of gabapentin all up my throat and mouth. This was rather concerning to me as it literally felt as if I had coughed up gabapentin powder. My anxiety gradually subsided into the night, however I had been going through a breakup with a longtime girlfriend and had already been experiencing some stresses external to my experience.

I had never had any of these physical side effects from LSD before starting Depakote, which makes me think there is some mechanism unbeknownst to me in which these medications are interacting. I had tried doing research online about the interaction, but there is little to no reliable information. I also felt as if my heartrate was elevated more so than usual when taking LSD, however this could also be accounted for by my recent uptick in caffeine use as I am finishing off a semester in college.

Overall I feel as if Depakote alters the way in which LSD affects not only my physical body but also the intensity of the visuals produced while maybe subtly reducing the overall anxiety produced by the LSD. Due to the number of substances in my body it is often hard to directly pinpoint side effects to one specific substance.

I am planning on trying to get myself off of depakote as I feel it was only really helpful in getting me out of a very anxious / manic state that had been caused by Trazodone.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115342

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: May 23, 2021	Views: 1,529

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Pharms - Gabapentin (183), LSD (2), Pharms - Divalproex (275) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

Myself and 3 good friends from university went to visit another friend at a party in Nottingham England. The plan was to take LSD, as this would cement a potentially great evening and add to the adventure we thought we were embarking on. We had all taken LSD before and whilst the LSD trip was neither strong, unusual or spectacular it was what happened in the days afterwards which lead me to rue all those cautionary tales of LSD which I had ignored previously. Prior to this occasion I had taken LSD less than 7 times and had taken mushrooms once. The attraction then was that it felt like the first time smoking grass, a euphoria based around finding everything entertaining and interesting to look at. I had friends who were keen users of LSD and I always took a cautious approach.

At around 6 am the next day when the drug would be expected to be approaching its dying stage and the trip coming to an end I found it hard to ignore a creeping concern that effects weren't wearing off as quickly as they had in the past.

I found it hard to ignore a creeping concern that effects weren't wearing off as quickly as they had in the past.

 Not that I was keen for the trip to finish, but that it seemed misalleged from the norm. On our drive back to London the next afternoon, the concern lingered as did the effects and a belief arose that I may not completely 'come down' from the trip. Four days later on my way in to lectures in Economic philosophy at the LSE, I came to the realisation that in the short term at least I was stuck in this state of mildly tripping. Whilst on a Saturday night in the pub I could shrug my shoulders and say to myself 'so what' In respect to day to day life this could not be considered to be a benefit and was becoming increasingly frustrating and disturbing. I had only tried LSD a hand full of  times, how was this possible!

I talked to many friends who were proper heads and those that were not, trying to get ideas about how to move forward or fumble through even. As anyone who has experienced continuing effects of a trip will know, there is no moment of any day you can escape its presence.  As the months continued in this state of being slightly permanently tripping, I became increasingly depressed and desperate that this was now a permanent change I had to reconcile.  Eventually this lead to an episode of despair in the summer of the same year which some people would call a nervous break down.  The recovery was quick and I finished my degree leaving with a 2nd class honours degree.

15 years later I have a modest but adequate business. Whilst a strength was born from this episode which I believe has been good, there was also a sense of sad personal loss for what I felt I had inflicted on myself as a result of taking this drug.  Then on the train one day about 4 years after leaving University I bumped into an old friend who sold me the trips from 1993, one of the most intelligent people at college, but an almost daily taker of LSD.  Whilst she recognised me equally, she looked shell shocked and  had a sense of abandonment by what the drugs had taken away from her but she knew could no longer give her back.

Exp Year: 1993	ExpID: 90605

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: May 27, 2021	Views: 688

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 shot
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 0:45
		 200 mg
		 insufflated
		 Ketamine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 0:45
		 50 mg
		 smoked
		 DMT

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (tar / resin)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   255 lb

Background:

At the time of this experience, I was 27 years old, and I weighed 255 pounds.  I am six feet, two inches tall.  My experience with psychoactive substances was extensive.  At the time, I was taking psychological excursions at least once a week.  The intensity of these trips varied depending on mood, and how far I wanted to push myself.  The substances involved were always used in some combination, which would be LSD, Mushrooms, Ketamine, DMT, and DXM.  During this particular summer, I also had the pleasure of using Ayasuaca a few times.  In the summer of 2009, I was able to use DMT on a regular basis, and made it a habit for 90 days to use DMT each night.  Essentially, my point here, is I have been to the deepest end of the pool, and it’s where I am most comfortable.

Experience:

It was around 2:30am.  I phoned a friend, and instead of the usual spurious greetings, I opened the conversation with the question, “1 or 2?”  To which my buddy replied, “2.”  So it was set into stone.  I washed a vial with vodka, and took a shot.  No turning back at this juncture.  I was feeling incredibly tired.  I had been out at a friend’s place, where we had a few drinks, and smoked some cannabis.  I was also feeling adventurous, which is what prompted my fate based system of psychedelic administration.  And lady fate wanted to dance with me that night.

I reclined on my couch, and I waited for the familiar onset of the alert, lucid dream to set into effect.  I slipped away into a dream state, in more ways than one.  I awoke with the alarmed sensation of the room vibrating and moving.  The come up had taken place whilst I was asleep.  I check the clock on my phone, and it’s around 315am.  It’s hard to read the phone, those damn numbers keep melting into each other and running all over the place.  I can see the usual images of the after-life on my carpet, the dead haunting me in this dream, as they had come to do that summer.    It’s time.  I know I want to go further.  I load up a glass bowl with a little cannabis resin, and approximately 50mg of DMT that I had weighed out prior to calling my friend.

I also weigh out 200mg of ketamine.  I take the ketamine over 2 lines, and lick the CD case; I quickly pick up my bowl, and brace myself.  I take the DMT over 3 hits.  As I had come to perfect,  I take in 3 hits over about 50 seconds, with just enough time to place my bowl out of harm’s way.

The familiar synergy of DMT and LSD, it’s like having a 5 star orgasm shot directly into my veins.  I feel the warmth rocketing over me, the vibration of life shaking erectly and sporadically as it increases with power and tempo.  I can see the curtain approaching.

DARKNESS.

The headspace before the breakthrough, it’s my own Dark Star, my own philosophical implosion with which I propel myself to the ethos of my universe and to the tip of the otherside.  My curtain is always endless entities.  They reach for me, they speak to me, they teach me.  The prism pattern within each of them is its own universe.  Using the handy latter exercise from my DXM trips, I propel myself upward and out of my physical self.  Through the fucking curtain like a good psychonaut, and with each step upward, I feel less and less of myself.  Until, I am out of my body, and I have broken through to the otherside, the infinite universe sits before my weighless self.  I feel nothing.  I am conscience of where my physical self resides, albeit, I am completely detached from my physical being.  I can feel the ketamine taking effect.  The endless vision of the DMT/LSD third eye always gives way to a tiny tunnel vision effect of the dissociative psychedelics.   The universe begins to tunnel forward like an underground train at 100mph.  Even at this speed, I see every detail of the cave.  Out of nowhere we cross over an ocean, where the waves look like the implosion of stars.  The water, infinite, and endless, crystal fucking clear, like space itself.  I can see us rapidly approaching a metropolis.  Suddenly the train is underground again.  The city also exists underground, it’s like New York, Chicago, and the apocalypse had a threesome and shit out a mutant baby.  I am baffled at the complexity before my third eye.  Infinite but also nothing.  Pointless.  It just sprawls and sprawls and sprawls.  What’s complexity, without purpose?  Depth without reason?  Beauty without the explanation and understanding?  It’s fucking nothing.  SPACE.  Occupied by those that think they see it.

At some later junction, I come to on the couch.  The walls are a triad of colors and designs.  Fuck.  It’s light out.  My phone (which is still melting) reads 7:45am.  I stumble over to my fridge.  I eye a beer.  I know better.  I return to the couch, and try to collect myself.

I’m in a thought loop of what is and isn’t real.  I’m having a real hard time processing that what just happened was a hallucination and not reality.  Reality has been blurred.  The VOID will do that.  Dreams can be reality?  Or can they?  My mind is spinning.  I keep thinking is this as far as I can go.  I never found the answer.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 101681

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: Jun 11, 2021	Views: 963

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DMT (18), Ketamine (31), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 20 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Fluoxetine
		 (daily)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   120 lb

LSD and Anti-Depressants

I have been taking prescription Prozac [fluoxotine] for about a year now. I take one 20mg pill daily.

I have noticed, over time, that the longer I have been on fluoxotine, the stronger the effect weed has on me. I guess I didn't really notice how big of a difference Fluoxotine has on the effect of drugs until I took LSD for the first time.

My first time taking LSD was on halloween of this year [2007]. I went on the trip with one of my friends. We took one blotter square each, around 11pm. We fell asleep shortly afterwards. After about 4 hours of sleep, we both woke up and were feeling completely different. My friend thought she was a dragon, but I didn't think I was anything other than myself. I did feel quite different on the inside, and my visual experiences were strangely different than usual. My friend and I stayed at her house for most of that day. I kept having the urge to go outside and explore, though. I wanted to see the world. When I finally did go outside, everything looked so much bigger. The road looked so far away, and it took me double the time to walk to the road than it would have if I was sober. After my crazy outdoor experience, I went back inside with my friend.

Around 2 o'clock that day, I could tell that my friend was coming down. She was starting to talk more normally, and she wasn't as spaztic as she was to begin with. I, however, was still incredibly 'gone.' It was as though I hadn't yet reached the peak of the experience. The more time that passed, the more intense my trip felt. I then realized that it must be the daily doses of Fluoxotine that had been making my experience so intense, and last so long. My trip lasted, at an extremely high point, until the next morning. So it lasted about 18-20 hours, when it was only supposed to last from 6-12 hours. I was shocked.

I wound up trying LSD again, a few days ago. And I felt just as fried as before. And the trip lasted just as long, if not longer.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is very important to know.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 67323

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 21, 2021	Views: 722

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LSD (2), Pharms - Fluoxetine (80) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 Syrian Rue
		 (seeds)

		 5 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (gel tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

I Used LSD to Cure My Porn Addiction

(I didn't at the time know the dosage until I got an estimate based on how many tabs I took from their source which ended up being like 170-200 per tab)

I'll start with my history of drugs prior to this experience.  In about the span of 10 months I had tried Mescaline, LSD, LSA, DXM, muscimol, psilocybin, DMT, and salvia all multiple times but my favorite was LSD I had done it about 7 times prior to this and 4 out of those 7 times were high doses usually 4 tabs which I am unsure the amount on them.  I wasn't doing it for recreation though, I had an addiction to pornography that I was trying to solve and for an FYI it wasn't for any christian moral reason, I am not christian at all I am a animist (with germanic pagan elements, and not like those kids who say they are germanic pagan because they like vikings I mean like it's actually part of my ancestry so I deem it important) that worships the archetypes of predatory animals, pretty dedicated too like I eat raw meat all the time in rituals etc for it.  Eventually I realized I was going to have to do something drastic to rewire my brain.  (for the purpose of "research" I'll add that I have Aspergers syndrome although I doubt that played into this situation).  I obtained some "stronger" tabs that were gel and not paper this time and planned to take them the next morning, in combination with syrian rue seeds to make it REALLY count.

The entire day prior I prepared myself for an entheogenic ritual the next day intended to cleanse myself of my pornography addiction. I awoke the next morning and after about an hour decided it was time.  I wrote the purpose I was doing this in my notebook and the time of consumption.  I drank a shake made from water and syrian rue seeds and put 5 tabs under my tongue, then I took a cold shower while doing wim hof breathing until I felt the first effects of a comeup.  I then got out of the shower and put clothes on and went for a walk around the neighborhood while listening to carbon based lifeforms. I then made it to this trail near my house and started to realize I was feeling effects stronger than the peak of my last trip which was probably around 400 micrograms. I checked my phone and it had barely been 30 minutes.  I began to panic thinking that I was surely going to be caught and I went off the trail into this more wooded area and I tripped on the ground *fell out of my body saw myself trip and then fell back into my body* this made me panic even more as I was really starting to forget who I was and I walked home as fast as I could.

Once I got home I did not feel good at all the visuals were very overwhelming but my motor function and ability to walk were fine so I went outside to water my garden to try and distract myself but it wasn't working, it was like I didn't even understand what the plants were unlike other trips were I felt they were alive and full of love

it was like I didn't even understand what the plants were unlike other trips were I felt they were alive and full of love

.  I went in the house and paced around for a while and then called my Buddhist friend who has done lots of psychedelics in meditation, he kept telling me to let go but I just couldn't there was nothing to let go of I had pretty much lost my ego at this point. I didn't really feel like I was myself at all like I knew who I was calling and I knew what place I was in but it was like I wasn't actually there and there wasn't really an I. My perception was just this strange awareness.  I remember telling him "it's bad it's bad" and everything I said didn't feel like like words were actually coming from me or that they meant anything.

I then went to my younger brother's room and he was sleeping because he worked night shifts and I woke him up and told him to call my mom because I was going to die or something and he didn't seem to care. The words still felt like they made no sense.  I wandered around and I kept seeing the star of david everywhere (which is strange because I have no jewish ancestry) and the hexagram was sentient and it would laugh at me. Then my vision would turn into repeating patterns of hexagrams and I would vomit on the ground and hear sounds that sounded like my organs were all failing (this along with strange repeating sci fi laser and generatory sounds, noises looped with intense reverb and echo). I then went to  my brother again and he called my mom and she asked why I did this and I remember saying "it's bad help me help make it stop" and I don't remember after that.

Then I called my  Buddhist friend again and I asked him for assurance that this wouldn't last forever and he said "no nothing lasts forever" (it was extremely ominous sounding).  Then I kept asking him things and saying things that didn't make sense and I would realize they didn't make sense and try and catch myself but I was failing and couldn't really talk anymore at this point. Then he said something and I said "WHAT" and I recall him saying "I said you are in for an ass kicking".  I then ran to my mother's room and fell on her bed and saw a plethora of strange fractals that felt extremely alienating to look at. I was pulled out of my body and soul and transported to some strange realm that was all white and I was formless while strange entities gathered around me and laughed at me causing me extra-dimensional pain (like imagine, your concept of pain is limited to what can happen to your physical body, now imagine what pain can be caused when there is no body or soul to limit it). I was then introduced to this giant golden hexagram made of deformed children that called itself "Yaweh" which I knew to be the judeo-christian god but it wasn't in the form they worship him as.  This entity began to torture me relentlessly for what seemed like months while other entities that took the forms of the facebook logo, and the logo of various porn sites all encouraged yaweh and praised it for torturing me and the laughing just persisted.

I felt myself in my real body again for a brief moment as I had somehow escaped and I grabbed one of my dogs for dear life and entered a strange oblivion of fractals until I lost who I was completely again and I remember I lived out an entire life as primitive bacterium in the Archean eon (for some reason I just knew that's what it was specifically) and it was painful and confusing.  Then the front door opened and I heard girly voices and I thought it was going to be my e-thot sister and her friends coming to be annoying but it wasn't, it was my cousin and her girlfriend neither of whom I was very close to.

So I got a bit of my ego to understand who I was somewhat now and I guess my mom called them because they smoke weed and she was at work and asked if they could help me. They asked me how much I took and I said 5 gel tabs and they seemed shocked.  (for context, they are both the same age as me). They then took me to the park and we walked around and I remember looking in this area in the water (this is a waterfowl refuge park) and there was sand under it and in the sand formed a giant pattern with a figure in the middle of it. It looked like somebody had drawn a big aztec calendar in the mud under the water with some shiva/siddhartha looking figure in the middle.  This pattern spoke to me as an entity and basically he told me that yaweh couldn't actually torture me for eternity like he had claimed because I escaped and wasn't there anymore and that yaweh was not an actual god but a construct of civilization unlike the gods of the past which were personifications of nature.  Then my cousins distracted me and the entity was gone I don't remember much at the park other than that we saw some kids playing on a playground or something and an adult woman was playing with them and I commented on how it saddened me that she could do so and have fun but if I wanted to play on the playground as an adult man I would be called "suspicious" and they said that double standard was wrong and they were sorry.

Then we went back to my mom's house and played in the front yard with two of my cats and they kept trying to show me videos of something called poy I think and I just wasn't interested at all because the visuals I was getting were far more focus grabbing.

Then we went to walmart because my mom told them to take me to get meat or something and I remember my cousin's gf said something like that she couldn't eat meat while tripping because something living died to make it. I laughed and said in some extreme confidence that I thought that was bs because plants were well and alive and that I knew from my trips and talking to them that they could feel pain and even if that was delusion science shows plants can feel pain and fear. I think she just agreed with me because I was in an "unreasonable" state I'm sure.  We went to walmart and I forgot why were and she reminded me and I got some bacon and said I would pay her back later and she said my mom already paid her.  Then we went back to my mom's house and they left.  I then just watched random youtube videos that were pointless trying to feel sober or something (this was about 16:00). I must have looked at the journal and remember I might as well use this fucked mental/spiritual state to repair the damage that I intended with this dose.

I walked back to the trail from the start of the trip, now along the trail are lots of leafy trees along this really trashy (polluted with sewage and trash) stream that's about 1-4 feet deep (varies). I walked up to the start of it where it lines up with the trail and submerged myself.  I remember all the rocks and mud under the water looked like eyes and aztec like patterns.  I took some gravel out and held it in my hand and was amazed at it.  I kept hearing strange noises this whole time as well.  It looked like I was in a jungle river of sorts and the water was very cold.  I then got revelation that I was to go to this area at the other end of the stream where a fallen ruin of concrete was poking out (this spot was still secluded in trees) in the middle where I had meditated before sober.  I then laid on my belly to submerge myself fully and walked on my hands like that and where it was deep enough just let the water float me.

I got to an area where I clung to the roots of a big tree along the bank and the sun was just perfectly coming in from the other side of the stream and it warmed me immensely. I felt euphoric and at "peace" like I was just a wild animal with no worries just living. I saw a snake swim across the water, when it saw me  as I must have spooked it (I don't think this was a hallucination though, there are many snakes in this area).  Eventually I remembered my quest and I continued to force myself through the rockiest parts and I couldn't walk upright it had to be on my back or underside to force through the pain and be embraced by the cold water.  I would stop and vibe every so often and then continue. I made it where I meditated sitting as the water rushed under me as just about 1 inch of water ran over the top of my seat.  I meditated on the synesthesia I was getting from the bubbly rushing water.  I saw many entities that comforted me and had no name but similar appearance to Kali, Siddhartha, shiva, and quetzalcoatl they all reconfirmed what the positive deity in the water said earlier and said that yaweh only had powers that men gave him.

I then got off the seat and I entered the deepest water I could find and fully submerged.  I opened my eyes under the water and I reached for my loins and began to pull this strange matter like energy out of my loins and kept pulling until there was none left (I've realized this description sounds like I was masturbating, but no it was as if I was pulling literal solar flare looking rays out) and then I came out of the water knowing that my porn addiction had been cured and went home.  It did work long term I never felt the urge again.  But this was all at a cost, that night it was almost impossible for me to sleep and I felt really "bad" or empty I don't know how to describe it for a very long time.  It was really hard for me to sleep and I had intense flashbacks with audio hallucinations, visuals (open and closed eyed) without taking drugs. They were just powerful flashbacks and it happened for about 3 months afterwards (which didn't help that I had another 700 microgram trip 10 days later, which was scary and did cause ego death but was more just alienating and confusing rather than torturous like this one).

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115033

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 21

Published: Sep 2, 2021	Views: 649

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LSD (2), Syrian Rue (45) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 4 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   105 lb

This was one of the most traumatic yet lifesaving experiences of my life. Tried tabs 12 times prior to this experience but had not tripped in 6 months at all. Am very experienced in the use of cannabis and have used it for a while. At the time I was dealing with some very intense emotional baggage such as being addicted to adderall and Ice for 7 months.

At the time I was dealing with some very intense emotional baggage such as being addicted to adderall and Ice for 7 months.

 I had quit for two weeks and no longer use enough to build a tolerance.

Now onto what helped end my addiction.

So at the time I was coming down and hard. Had taken a tab of very pure LSD. At the time I had not known the purity or else I would have taken less. Had not taken any uppers two weeks prior to this experience but was still hooked emotionally. Was still coming down from months of amphetamine use as my body felt twitchy. I had also previously undergone an operation which I will not discuss but played a role on my emotional state at the time.

Took the tab at approximately 9pm and I began to watch that 70s show with my lava lamp and herb and bowl like I always used to. I had set up a sleeping bag under my loft bed and made my bed. I did everything to prepare for this trip. Except prepare my mind.

At 9:28 I began to feel physically weird. My body felt as if was not mine and my head began to burn though only slightly. I thought not much of it. I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the time and he was asleep. I continued to watch that 70s show when I decided to listen to some music. I couldn't enjoy any song and my thoughts were racing. I felt as if I didnt exist. I knew what was happening. I was experiencing ego death. And I wasn't ready. Tried to wake my boyfriend up but he didn't hear me. I immediately thought he didnt exist. To my mind he wasn't replying so he wasnt real.

I hung up the phone crying and called my best friend (F). She had tried L plenty of times and was very reassuring. I was so happy she was up. As I was pouring out my heart to her I felt I couldn't breathe. I felt every emotion and none at all. I stared at a picture on the wall from a summer camp I attended. The picture began to melt together and became slime but just before it fell off the wall it formed slowly back up into a watercolor painting. F could hear I was talking and talking in circles. She told me to open my window. I was hesitant to do so as in the past few months I was too paranoid. I trusted her and opened the window. The world was at peace. I felt ok for the first time in months since I went off my bipolar medication. I wasn't scared anymore. I was free. I was ok. And I saw the stars and the trees. The branches on the trees had intense ghosting effects with pink tracers and the stars were so white they were breathing. I thanked F and she told me anytime and offered we hang out the next day and talk. Just knowing someone else existed made my trip so much easier.

The next 8 hours I spent alone with my thoughts. No one to talk to. F had gone to sleep but told me to text her if I needed to, this was reassuring. I also must've texted my boyfriend a good 50 times updating him on my thoughts. He got a good laugh the next day as did I. I was ready to face my mind and the fears I had been running from. I put on Slayers spirit in black and saw the devil. I went to hell with wings and met the devil. He told me I would come with him if I kept going in the path I was going. The devil symbolized my fears. I was racing to hell and I was going to crash. I told the devil no. And I stopped and flew out of the portal. The devil also meant my bipolar and denying I had it. My past eating disorder and the reason behind it.

The devil also meant my bipolar and denying I had it. My past eating disorder and the reason behind it.

 He showed that I was making bad choices by letting others control my life and if I kept doing so I would live in what was beginning to be hell. He taught me that drugs arent supposed to be used to run away but to face your issues. They arent used to not feel but to feel and understand a different perspective.

I continued in this state until 8am when I had to go to work. I had not slept and felt fucked. My pupils were black holes and when I looked out my window the trees became multidimensional and I could zoom into each leaf. Between each branch were eyeballs of the wise, of nature herself. She was watching with a caring eye although it scared me I felt safe. The car ride to work. I felt functional but was still tripping. Experiencing tracers. The sky was green and the leaves of the trees were blue. I went to work and did not feel paranoid. I felt safe seeing other humans and felt that every moment existed for that moment and I was not able to see this on harder substances.

I worked slightly slower than usual but had some of the most important conversations and insight even though to most my conversations were mundane. Physically my brain felt fried and I felt dizzy and had heat flashes. None of this upset me as I was just happy I wasnt in hell. F picked me up and we stopped at my house then took a trip to a village and saw a cemetery. We talked about life and how the dead watch over us and we arent alone. We then went for a drive through a nature preserve and through binoculars we saw the city. The cars looked like space cars from. The future and I realized the future is now. We climbed a tower and the swampland felt as if we were on a other planet.

The sun was setting and I was still affected by the tab to a degree but also aware and coherent. I took a piss on the nature trail.and F thought this was funny. I yelled to make sure there were no cars coming and we found a treasure chest on the drive but we got scared of it so we left it. I talked the whole drive home (1 hour) and F listened and thought it was funny I was so spun out but we laughed together. Once I was home (930pm) I played some muse, ate some pasta, had some water, called my boyfriend and went the heck to sleep.

All in all this experience was one of the most terrifying. This was positive because it brought me out of my eating disorder and gave me insight into my bipolar and helped me to realise I am valid and I am enough.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111924

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 8, 2021	Views: 458

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 Alcohol

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   210 lb

Me and my friend 'C' came across a bit of LSD. I devised a way to volumetrically dose the substance to 25 ug per drop in an eyedropper.

I put 6 blotters (100ug each) into a shot glass, then added 20 drops of water. 600/20=30mcg each, minus some residual lost in the eyedropper and the shot glass...or at least that was the theory. The blotters soaked in distilled water for ~10 minutes, then the water was sucked up into the eyedropper. We then headed to a bar. There, C allegedly had 200 ug and I had 25 ug. We weren't feeling the effects (or at least C said he wasn't), so we left.

[T+0:00] We arrived alone at my house, a little drunk around midnight. There, we had the 6 blotters still in a shot glass that was previously used for volumetric dosing. We then decided to split the shot (or maybe I had all of it?)...

[T+0:30] I began to feel the come-up with extreme unrelenting intensity, as if my whole reality was becoming increasingly smaller, dark, and unstable (it was 1am and we were both tripping alone). I warned C: 'I'm a left-brained person. I'm not used to or ready for any of this!' 'C' put on some melancholy tunes (Type-O negative?) and we were having strange conversations which I don't quite remember, and C was hauntingly singing along to the music, while staring into my eyes.

[T+0:45] At this point, reality becomes a blur and fades away...I found my consciousness teleported to a far away land, first having the sense that I was stuck living and empathizing with a cheap rural mid-western female prostitute, living in a trailer park. I experienced her reality, her hardships. Then I found my consciousness stuck at a rural livestock auction, except the auctioneer was selling cowgirls seductively wearing tight jeans, and dancing like strippers. Finally, my soul drifted off into deep interstellar space, similar to the end of 'A Never-ending Story', where I stood before a southern female which was part cricket, part humanoid alien, also wearing a cowboy hat and operating what looked to be a CB/Ham radio. Her demeanor was laid back and friendly, and she asked me a few questions about where I was from, and where I was headed in this life, which I either didn't answer or was too intoxicated to answer. Then I found myself among corn/grass fields, with I myself morphing into a cricket and/or radio antenna, chirping into the darkness of the night, looking for a signal, someone to make contact with, some semblance of the reality or form I once knew.

[T+8:00] Instantaneously, I fully came to my senses. The morning sun was pouring into the room through a window. I awoke, in absolute silence, still standing up, covered in red malt liquor we were drinking, back in this reality only to find my whole existence melting in an ocean of color and vivid flowing triangular geometry. The outlines of every object looked as if it was constantly melting off into a rainbow of geometric patterns which disappeared shortly thereafter. The entire house was flexing and breathing, the outside world looked like a thousand beautiful paintings, waving and flowing with every moment, continuously melting away and being redrawn and rebuilt by the geometry. Thousands of rainbow-colored triangles came into existence per second. They grew and rotated, and melded seamlessly into the nearest form, to add to the ever-changing painting that was my reality. It was simultaneously absolutely haunting and romantic and serene. It felt like heaven. Other than the mild panic due to my mental state, I was at peace. (I was still incredibly high, and I never before had any OEVs) In this state, I silently walked around my house and stared out the window for around 3 hours.

During my apparent 7-hour black out, I had moved a total of 15 feet, and nothing was disturbed in the entire house except my drink that I had spilled on myself and the floor. In this highly intoxicated state, my mind had difficulty performing simple tasks and formulating sentences. I barely knew how to function, such as send a text message or put on my shoes. I felt as if I died and was reborn, and had to relearn everything, task by task. There was a significant delay between where my mind thought my body/limbs/fingers were, and where they actually were, which made interacting with objects even more difficult.

[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

[T+11:00] I had to drive to see my family, and it took me about 3 hours to feel confident enough to drive. When I began driving, my sense of reality immediately elongated into the shape of a tunnel, almost like a worm-hole or hyperspace. The steering wheel felt like a wet noodle, and I felt as if I was one with the car, watching myself drive via 3rd person. The car ride was 45 minutes, but felt like an entire day. When I was finally with my family, my mind was racing, trying to understand and make sense of what I had just experience/witnessed the night before. 12 hours after I consumed whatever it was, I was definitely still tripping, seeing illuminated trails, and having racing thoughts. I kept to myself and was doing a lot of pacing.

[T+16:00] By mid afternoon the trails had faded, but my mood, thoughts, and body high were still under the influence of what I would consider a light trip. I played catch with my son for a couple hours, which was a blast. It felt as if I had to relearn how to catch a ball and coordinate my body...but my skills returned quickly. After we were done, I started rambling to my family about the search for love, my ex-wife, alleviating poverty, the fallacy of land ownership, the corruption of the political system, modern culture, and more. At this point, my family knew I was under the influence of something (I was very quiet previously). I was still pacing, and my son (8) joined my side, pacing back and forth. I asked my son a series of questions about his opinions on life, school, his mother, if he enjoys being human, if and how he thinks about the future. I quietly wept over the lost love of his mother, and my failed attempts to reignite our love, while he comforted me and put his hand over mine in silence, as if we were both drunken 20-something best friends. We looked into each others eyes, and cried together. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, one that I'll never forget. (Two months after this experience, I'm closer with my son than ever before.)

[T+18:00] My father then drove me home along with my son. I continued to ramble on about axioms and metaphors, while ironically giving my son a lesson about treating your body and mind with respect. The whole conversation had a very positive vibe, with lots of joking and laughing, and my father was smiling and chiming in often on my son's lesson. When we arrived home, my son was picked up by his mother, and for the next 4 hours, I continued pacing and talking to my father and mother, who I finally told I did LSD.

[T+22:00] I finally tried to go to sleep while still lightly tripping, with anxiety about whether or not I had damaged my brain. I woke up the next morning with a foggy mind and poor balance. I had lethargy, nihilism and a mild existential crisis for the next couple days. It took about 4 days for me to make a full psychological recovery, mainly to shake off a lingering sense of confusion and nihilism.

What did I learn? That LSD is one hell-of-a drug. Next time I will try two blotters, and hopefully revisit those beautiful OEVs without the accompanying black-out and hallucinations. In hindsight, I don't regret the experience, but I wouldn't want to do it all again.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109292

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 30

Published: Sep 27, 2021	Views: 446

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Hangover / Days After (46), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 Pharms - Sildenafil

		 LSD

		 Various

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   75 kg

LSD, Porn Addiction &amp; Child Abuse

Background: I'm a 36 year-old male, stable life. 4 years ago I learned about my unfortunate childhood story - I was raped as a 3-year old kid by a family member. In the path of my trauma recovery, altered states of mind have been my main tool, but also psychotherapy, bodywork, meditation, breathwork.

I have always felt myself heterosexual, without any weird sexual tendencies. I see my last romantic relationship as sexually fulfilling. Yet I would describe myself as hypersexual, with frequent sexual thoughts, at times intense and confusing. Deep inside me there is a deep feeling of emptiness and lack of sexual fulfillment and connection throughout my life. As if my sexual energy was stuck and could not flow freely. I was a porn addict for more than a decade, with a daily consumption (1-2 hours) but not interfering with work. Initially I believed that I was just repressed and frustrated and that my consumption was essentially natural. But with the discovery of my child abuse I started to suspect that the porn consumption is a face of my trauma. Moreover, I suffered from erectile disfunction (ED) which I treated with sildenafil.

In this retrospective I will talk about roughly 7-10 trips alone on LSD, psilocybin, MDMA, 2c-b, 2c-b-fly and mescaline-hcl, which I will call Teachers. Occasionally these Teachers were flipped; sometimes I did N20 balloons and I always took sildenafil. I thought about the trips as some kind of healing rituals and I tried to prepare accordingly. At the beginning of the trips I did some body-work, meditations, healing intentions, dancing, shaking, but the trips turned quickly into watching girls on the web.

But at the same time I was putting my trust in the Teachers, hoping to talk to the Inner Healer and get a deeper contact with myself and my trauma and become whole. Or get to to the path of getting there.

Initially, watching HD porn looked awesome on psychedelics. Bodies seemed so beautiful. Made me feel high. Orgasms were mind-blowing. So I got into chasing the dragon. But soon the Teachers started to lift the veil and show me what is behind those pixels. The revelations were painful and devastating for my ego. For example, it happened to me, while watching a girl on a video, that I had the feeling of loosing myself. As if something alien was residing in my body. It was the spirit of that woman. I jumped out of the bed, went on the floor and started to tremble, shake, and make sounds like a nasty dog, barking at the alien spirit.

Once on LSD I ejaculated and after orgasm I was thrown into a space of endless void. I turned off porn. I tried to do something "good" like dance, or meditate, but all I felt was numb emptiness. All my life energy was drained out, sucked by something, ejaculated away from me. This kept for hours and left me depressed the next week. Another time I was on psilocybin, watching porn and masturbating, when the Teacher lifted the veil and I literally saw my own hand raping my own body. I quit immediately.

Since then, my relation to porn started to change. It was never like before, I was enlightened by the cruel truth behind my addiction. My ego was resisting, wanted to keep chasing the dragon, that illusion of the porn actor fucking a beautiful woman. But I started to surrender to the truth. I saw how thirsty for love I was, how I did not receive love from my parents and the only means to cover the void was to escape to a fantasy world of porn, because there was always an actress ready to love me.

A few months later I committed fully to the preparation for an Ayahuasca journey. I quit porn and masturbation and I did not return to porn consumption again.

At the time of writing this report, it has been more than 4 months that I'm free from porn. I feel no cravings at all. I am on a path of healing my sexuality naturally, using techniques like tantra, yoga, de-armouring, etc., learning to relate to my own body from the heart. I am grateful for the Teachers for what they showed me.

Hope this retrospective adds to humanity's knowledge about our relation with psychedelics, trauma, addiction and spirituality.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113925

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 36

Published: Oct 9, 2021	Views: 642

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LSD (2) : Sex Discussion (14), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 5 hits
		 buccal
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 7 g
		 oral
		 Mushrooms - P. cubensis
		 (dried)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

1.5 Mg LSD and Too Much Shrooms

Night at 9:30, I took 5 tabs from my sheet. That was 1.5 mg of LSD, and I put it on the roof of my mouth and kept it there for about half an hour while I picked up a little trash. My roommates were home and I wanted to go outside (but if I go outside with nothing they know I'm smoking weed, so I was being discrete with the illusion of taking out trash). I saw a police car where I usually smoked so I threw the trash away and went back inside. Once I came back in I took a while to weigh out 7.231 grams of mushrooms, which I proceeded to eat very slowly (took about half an hour to eat 2-3 grams)

At that point, I still had a few more mushrooms to go. I felt a very strong voice say please do not eat any more of us! You have eaten enough there is no need for more. I kept eating. Literally two more mushrooms. I was lying down in the darkness ratings when I got this weird choking sensation. Like the spirit of the mushrooms were telling me, you fucked up, and we want out.

You have taken too much of the other one for us to stay with you.

They told me.

You didn't listen when we said enough. We need out.

Oddly enough it was like I knew what was happening. I got up, feeling super spinny, the room rotating and warping very spastically, and feeling very nauseous. I got a cup and apologized to the mushrooms. I could feel 4-5 individual mushroom souls gathered in my throat, like they all went there at the same time ready to leave my body. I started coughing and purged the mushrooms, although I could still feel a couple mushroom souls inside of me.

I'm not sure 'soul' is the right word. Maybe try interchanging it with spirit or energy field, see if that makes more sense?

The moment I threw up... I felt this massive spike in energy and this giant green brown snake with a human head and long white or blond hair came shooting up out of my mouth. It was alone though, even though I had eaten mushrooms it didnt seem to have their energy with it. There was an octopus looking thing on its head/shoulders. This 'octopus' energy field was dark purple black and sparkly. It seemed like it was made up of pure energy and not a physical body. I call it an octopus because the 'legs' of the energy field seemed to behave like an octopus. Like instead of being cloudlike and formless, there were distinctive filaments of this thing. These filaments poked through my entire body. I began to get the sensation that I was seeing existence from this thing's point of view. I couldn't see much 'reality' as it was made up of individual dots.

Imagine a pointillism style picture, but with each point being a different view into an alternative universe. Now imagine you have a dog. In point 1 (universe 1?) I would enter this thing, like if I was on the outside, it just looked like a tiny point of light which was constantly changing cause of the snake (who has introduced himself to me as Quetzalcoatl, this is the 5-6 time I've seen this exact same being, first time with this octopus energy thing) changing position. When I would enter the point, it would get infinitely larger and would envelope my entire perception of reality. Like I would enter and the snake would almost disappear because it was creating realities and not being a part of it.

So I would enter point one. Say I had a dog, in reality 1, that dog gets hit by a car cause I forgot to leash it, and he dies.

Reality 1 instantly fades out and I get forcibly sucked into reality 2, where I still have the dog but this time I leashed him and he doesn't die. Now reality 2 something happens that is negative (say I'm out on a big date and spill my entire dinner on me somehow like a klutz) reality 2 fades and I'm instantly sucked into the next one. I spend the next 30-45 minutes traveling back and forth between them when I realize that these aren't my real world.

One of my people had asked me to deliver some goodiesz and was blowing up my phone, I was seeing like hddhdyeeee slaaaaaudi dbnnaaaaei. Just a whole lot of vowels and no sense at all. Somehow I texted him to please leave me alone I'm tripping on LSD then he was saying like guess you don't want this money, so I said I don't give a damn about your money I'm tripping please leave me along till morning (much worse spelling and tons of .'s lol let's see if he texts me ever again lol) but this really snapped me back to here and now, and since I had purged I was feeling the effects soften. Like I could coexist in this world and see this snake thing and not have it be a big deal. I went in and out of being lucid and being with Quetzalcoatl watching him create universes and realities. He seemed lonely, he told me I shouldn't have eaten too much because he would have enjoyed the company but it was my choice to create this reality.

This was weird. When he said that (remember I purged, my throat sore from puking, I've been a little sick so I had some congestion too) he changed my reality, it was like a ripple from head to toe, and when it was over I was perfectly fine. No sore throat, I could breathe super easily (still couldn't see with my eyes it was like seeing with fingers my point of view was coming in from everywhere). Eventually the feeling perfectly healthy and fine feeling slowly receded and my throat got hot and sore again.

When that happened, the snake started vibrating red, black and purple and then came out of my mouth, circled my head then back through my mouth and down my body where he faded. All of that happened in the pitch darkness.

When I came back to my body, I managed to turn the lights on, and my whole room was warping some crazy shit. Like I was getting kinda sick with how much movement there was, so I turned off the light where I just got tracer lights and the headspace and not as much nausea since my reality wasn't visibly warping. Then I thought I fell asleep but I don't think I have yet.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to smoke much weed, but maybe it made my trip really clear? I tripped super hard from about 1030 to about 2:30-3 am and faded from about 3-7. I think the purge took a lot out, I had it saved in this cup. You've heard of lemontek? Who dares try this purgetek lmao! The next day I did in fact try the purge tek and I did trip for a solid 4-5 hours vibrating bands of light and the shroom energy that was mad at me was more happy.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 110048

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 30

Published: Oct 11, 2021	Views: 720

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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

LSD at Psy-Fi, Complete Rebirth

This will be an attempt to put into words the trip that changed my life.

Where:

Psy-fi festival, 2019. I had never been to a festival like this before, never even been to a rave.

Who:

One of my best friends, Djee. We have known each other for several years.

My girlfriend, Tee. The strongest person I know.

Our neighbour from camp, Jay. Really chill and easy going person.

And me, of course.

What:

Cannabis. Lots and lots of it. And the main course, Lysergic Acid Diethyl-amide, in an almost empty little vial. The exact dose is unknown to me, but I can assure you, it was a lot! I did a little research, and my guess would be at least 1400-1500 micrograms. My heaviest trip before this, realistically, was around 250-300 micrograms.

Prologue

We arrived at Psy-fi a few hours after the camps had opened. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the energy shifted as soon as we stepped of the bus. The days before the actual festival began, where spent on getting to know the area, buying the drugs that we wanted, and talking to the various people at the camp site. On the opening day, we decided to try psychedelic truffles. This would be my first experience with them, although I have eaten mushrooms a few times. My heaviest trip on shrooms, I had a few years ago, around 7 grams of dried Cubensis. Oh man, that was really something. I might write down that experience, too. Anyhow, the truffles. They called them “Double Vision”, a blend of Utopia and Hollandia. A really strong blend. A little stronger than what I was expecting, to be honest. But not too strong. My girlfriend, however, would disagree, as it made her nauseous. She threw up, and she and Gee ended up going back to camp. The truffles had taken over completely at this point, and I danced my way around the festival. One of the best trips in my entire life. I should write another report on that, as well. The day after, my body was a little sore from the dancing, so we took it slow. No drugs for me and Tee, except for copious amounts of weed. Djee took some 2C-B, and partied for a while. We all got a good nights sleep, and woke up refreshed for the LSD. It was now Friday, and the mood all around the campsite was great! We ate light food, hydrated our selves, and checked the little vial of LSD that we had. It had lasted our little group of friends for a year, give or take, and was almost empty. In fact, the warm weather had evaporated almost all of the liquid inside. To remedy this, we tried to get a little more liquid inside, which turned out to be a real challenge without destroying the little bottle. Eventually, we wandered towards the festival.

And so the story begins.

The Experience

We sat down to smoke a joint and take the LSD. Our attempt to “refill” the little vial, was a complete failure. So we had to turn to plan B: Disassemble the bottle, put it in a drinking bottle, shake it around, and drink the LSD infused water. Easy enough. The four of us shared about 4/5 of the bottle, thinking we were good to go. So we walked to the chill-out stage, where Kalya Scintilla were going to play. When we got there, we found a spot to sit down, relax, and wait for the LSD to take its hold. After an hour, I didn’t feel very much, neither did Tee. We contemplated drinking the rest of the water, but decided to wait for a little while longer. It could be just a slow come up, after all. Another thirty minutes of waiting, and we got impatient. Djee, Tee, and I shared the rest of the bottle. Jay hadn’t done LSD before, and did not drink anymore of the holy water. And that was probably a really, REALLY good idea. The vial had now been soaking in the water for about an hour and a half, and the taste had a distinct, minty flavour, from the Ice Drops bottle that had previously stored it. I didn’t think too much about it at the time, and danced for a little while to pass the time. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes before I felt a definitive change in my entire being. Still not realising the insane amount of LSD that I had taken, I sat down with Jay to smoke a joint. Great idea. Tee comes to sit as well, but soon feels that the music is way too loud. So we decide to take a little walk and just take in the rest of the festival, maybe find a good spot to trip out.

As we walk, my mouth and lips start to tickle, and it feels, well, just really different and weird. I look around, and things start to get so much brighter, it almost looks like a really good computer animation. And then, the first wave of psychedelic terror hits me, like a torpedo. It sends out a shockwave that, to me, seems to affect how time acts around me. Things in my field of view, change from looking normal, to being a bright, neon glowing, absurd version of itself. I try to tell Tee that I’m a little worried that I might have gotten a little more LSD than I was prepared for, and that I might need help. She tries to reassure me, and says that we have to just keep moving, and that everything will be fine if we do so. We walked around for an unknown amount of time, but probably less than five minutes. Time just stopped behaving itself for me. The bodily sensation went from a strangle tickle, to feeling like I was ever-expanding, ever-rotating, ever-fractalizing. Like my body was made from a crystalline substance, like a liquid, crystal shell that was breaking of and re-layering itself on me, inside me. The visuals at this point was so suddenly, and violently, shifted from this weird, animated look, to fractals copying themselves from and around everything. I managed to tell Tee that I was freaking out. I thought I was dying. She didn’t seem to understand and believe me at first, but after a little while, she takes my hand and leads me towards the Psy-Care tent.

Now, the visuals are so intense and removed from reality, that I couldn’t see anything but them. I held up my hands before my eyes to check if I could still see them, at least, but there was only fractals. But now, the fractals started to “open up” and reveal the driving force behind them: tiny, happy, non-aware elf-like creatures. They roll around the visuals, like square bits, each side different from the rest. There are more elves, too. Different elves. Some roll around squares of time that glues the visuals together. Some just roll themselves around as they smile. It felt like the visuals are actual layers of reality, and the elves glue them together in our sober minds.

When Tee finally gets me to the Psy-Care tent, I have completely lost my grip on this reality. I do remember being questioned, though, and that we sat in a couch for a little while. But my mind was being stretched out so far, between all the layers of our three dimensional reality. I could feel the strings of universal information, vibrating like cello strings, all around me. It felt incredible, like the vibration of the strings was massaging my soul, or my “being”. There are no words to justify what I was experiencing. A real sense of duality began to creep in. I was scared to death, but I was also loving it. The thought of dying made me terrified, but in a beautiful way. The weight of my entire life, all my wrong doings, all my mistakes, the people I’ve hurt, lied to, stolen from, everything, began stacking itself all around me, squeezing me. I thought about my family, my friends, how I had been so stupid to put myself in this hell. How I would never be able to speak to them again. I felt lost and frozen, like I would stay like this forever. After all, I was experiencing forever, over and over again.

I tried to reach out to the elves. I tried to get them to help me, but they seemed completely unaware, like little robots doing their scripted tasks. Suddenly, I could hear myself, begging me to let go. To just die, and be released from this. So I did exactly that. I let go. I remember feeling that my body was shutting down, and uttering the word “pee”. I pissed myself. Twice. The visuals turned and twisted, like it was being turned inside out, to finally reveal my own body, laying motionless on a mattress. I could see it drifting away, further and further, until all I could see what a tiny, cold speck of light. Everything was now dark and cold. But then, I felt love. Unconditional love, like my suffering had been heard, and the response was universal. I didn’t have to be scared anymore, it was over. I was free. I remember looking up, seeing the loving face of what I can only describe as a buddhistic munk with six arms, carrying me away into bliss.

And that is all I remember from the peak of the experience.

I have been told that I spent around two hours in that tent, and that I stopped breathing several times. Tee had to slap and shake me to get me breathing again. She told me in the days after, that she watched the life slip from my eyes, and my body going totally limp. It scared her, as it would anybody.

The very first thing I remember after dying, is a feeling, a divine sensation that I AM ALIVE! I LIVED. I died, and was resurrected. The next moments can accurately be described by the song “Touch” by Daft Punk. Little by little, I found my way back to my physical form. It felt like I had been infused with the informational power of the universe. I remembered that Tee was sitting next to me, scared to death. I could feel her warmth, like a beacon in the abyss. I pulled closer to the warmth, and every feeling washed over me. I could feel my lungs again, and took a deep breath. Everything that I had wanted to say for the last few hours, every sensation, wanted to come out at the same time, and blended into a wailing. I cried as hard as my body possible could muster for a good few minutes, before it turned to a sort of manic laugh. With all my mental strength, I pulled away the shroud that was the visuals, and I could see again. Finally! The beauty of Tee’s warm soul washed away the residual feeling of terror, that lingered in the back alleys of my mind. She had gotten a hold of Djee while I was out cold, and he had gotten me a clean set of clothes. I laughed my ass off when I saw his face, and the stupidity of the situation came crashing. I changed my clothes, apologised to the Psy-Care crew. They reassured me that it was nothing to worry about, that this is why they’re here. I felt so incredibly lucky, just to be alive. There was also a feeling of absolute clarity, like I had never been more awake. I was still tripping really hard, and I was aware of that, but at the same time I felt almost completely sober, stimulated if anything. It was like I could feel every nerve, every fiber, every electric impulse. We walked back to camp, laughing the entire way. When we got back, we met our neighbours, smoked more weed, and talked about the incredible journey that we had undertaken. Later, we went back to the festival, and just wandered around.

Around five or six in the morning, the others went to sleep. I tried to, but couldn’t. Not that it was of any worry to me. I had a big smile on my face, lying in our tent. I thought about how happy I was, and how there was nothing to worry about. It was all just bullshit anyways. I thought about death, and how it didn’t scare me anymore. It feels to me, like it’s just a transition from observing and experiencing the universe, to being it. I thought about my conscious self, and how it felt, to me, like it is two parts to it. One physical and one non-physical. And how we shield ourselves from our whole selves, how we root ourselves in physical worry, in fear. How we, humanity, base our entire days around squares and screens. We are not alive, for we do not live. We are passengers without tickets, hiding from the conductor that is ourselves.

I did not sleep for a minute, but I still felt rested and energised, ready for anything. I was still tripping pretty good, and everything looked, and felt, alive. The fact that I was now the joke of the camp didn’t bother me. I couldn’t be mad about it, since I was the one laughing the most. The first few days after the trip, it felt like I was a people magnet. Like people were drawn to me, to feed off of my energy, but not in a bad way. It felt like I was “on the right path”, and it still does. The last day at camp, I had an incredible moment with a dragonfly. We were connected by something deeper, something that felt like the non-physical part of my consciousness, and that part was the same for the consciousness of the dragonfly. It didn’t fear me at all, but seemed rather curious about me, and flew up and down from where he sat, almost as if it wanted to show me how beautiful it was, and how amazingly it could move. It continued to do so for almost 10 minutes!

And so my story ends. I know, it’s just rambling! There are probably a lot of inconsistencies and holes, and I am not sure if my memory of the order it all happened is correct. This is however, my experience. I do not expect that you understand or believe me. I just felt like it was important that I try to relay what I experienced. I don’t feel scared anymore. Of people, of work, of myself. I feel awake. And it wasn’t the LSD that changed me. I changed me. I promised myself that if I got out of this alive, I would never be scared of living again. The LSD only put me in a situation, however temporary and illusionary, where I was able to make that promise to myself. And now, I have to hold that promise true to myself.

There is probably a whole lot more that I unintentionally left out.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113598

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 28

Published: Oct 26, 2021	Views: 673

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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

I'll try to keep the story short.  So I was at a nature trail park. I had a Lyft take me there and arrived around 6:30am. I took 3 tabs of 100ug acid, I think it was 300ug. Saw lots of beautiful colors and giggled a lot. I was coughing a lot during the trip. Some time later, I went to a bench and started freaking out and asking for help on Discord. I feared I took too much acid. Things started morphing. The ground and all kinds of objects were morphing, breathing and had patterns and I started getting the tracers. Some objects like gnats looked like they had gotten bigger. Luckily, the people on Discord were very helpful and told me to ride it out as best I could. Had to leave the park, but the way back to the city was like an hour-long walk through lots of curves and a long stretch of road and the best way to reach the park is by car. Realizing no Lyft would come pick me up, I decided to leave the park. When I left the park, I started hearing voices and strange sounds and saw strange images like they popped up out of nowhere. I legitimately thought I had just triggered schizophrenia but luckily the people on Discord told me this was only temporary and they were right. I kept moving my head to see where the voices were coming from. Saw the multiverse and geometrical patterns.

Went inside a grocery store and saw colors fading in and out and being replaced by more colors and patterns. When I got to the restroom, everything was morphing and had overlays, like a tapestry, even on me and my clothes. I ran across the street and almost didn’t make it to the bus on time, but luckily I did make it on time and so I took a bus to get home. I will explain more about what happened on the bus at the end because I think it’s the perfect ending to this story.

After I got off the bus close to home, something weird happened when I was walking home. As I was walking, it felt like time and distance was very slow. Everything seemed to be stretched and further away. Every step I took, it felt like I was being held back and not allowed to progress further, like something was preventing me from walking further. It kept holding me back. I think my time and distance perception got messed up and everything felt like in slow motion.

When I got home I was mentally and physically exhausted, and disoriented. Decided to just throw the weed away because I didn't even care anymore. And I thought, "I don't even know why I did weed in the first place." Tried to eat pork chops, but they tasted repulsive and disgusting. I was able to eat something eventually. Tried to lay down and rest, but my mind was still active and seeing images. Some time later, as I was trying to go to sleep, I could tell the LSD was still somewhat working because I started thinking about my bad habits, my sedentary lifestyle, and what changes I should apply to my life, like exercising more, reading more, and trying to be more social.

Now when I was walking back to the city, I felt like I wasn't in control of my life and I lost sight of who I was and what and who I wanted to be. When I got on the bus, I started questioning who I wanted to be when I grew up. I was breaking down in tears as I tried to explain this on Discord. I originally wanted to be a firefighter in elementary school, then a psychologist when I was in high school, then majoring in computer science when I went to community college. I realized that I lacked the ambition, determination, and focus to continue going to college. And regretted it because I probably could have developed my social skills and made friends by joining clubs. I questioned my abilities because English 101 was a hard class and didn't think I'd do well in it so I dropped the class. I didn’t think I’d do well in college writing and other college courses. Dealing with depression at the time and not being able to focus also didn't help me through college. I really had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I think what I also took from the trip was that I can't change the past and I need to stop thinking about the past. I think it also taught me to focus more on the present and focus more on what will make me happy and think of productive things that can make me happy.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115842

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Nov 22, 2021	Views: 632

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LSD (2) : Various (28), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 6:00

		 smoked
		 DMT

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   78 kg

I’ve scored some mid-strength WoW tabs and some DMT which was about ~85% pure. I’ve done DMT once before, also done acid and shrooms a couple of times- so I know what to expect. I was planning on having a holiday break into the countryside and thought that I could use some insight into how I was doing, but after this experience I ended moving so I can focus on helping the farmers and help heal the land.

At 10:00 AM, I dropped the tabs on top of my tongue instead of under it this time- which I’ve normally before.

10:30

The familiar feeling is kicking in; getting that burst of energy and weightlessness, feeling a little giggly.

The familiar feeling is kicking in; getting that burst of energy and weightlessness, feeling a little giggly.

  Although I do tend to get anxious and shiver on acid esp. if I’m doing the last bit of cleaning before I trip.

11:00

Same ol’ visuals kicking in, everything is brighter and saturated.

1:00 PM

I’m able to see patterns on the walls and floor, but very subtle. No crazy colours or tracers.

2:00

Soaking up the sun as much as possible despite the fact that the backyard gets very little sunlight. Decided to meditate for a short bit; immediately getting intense CEVs from the sun. Tried to cover my eyes with my hands but could still see the sun… just wow.

3:30

Okay now I’m peaking, been staring at floor for about half an hour and I’m seeing Alex Grey art, but without any colour. I’m seeing this couple kissing, then this baby in the womb and then the parents walking this child- all in one frame and fractaling away. Was not expecting this at all; it seemed too perfect, the lines and patterns where matching up impeccably.

4:00

The time for smoking the DMT in the pipe has come but unfortunately my trip-sitter had to leave for work.  The show must go on though and very rarely do I take acid- I can’t stand not being able to eat for 12 hours, I have to eat 5 times a day based on my vegan diet otherwise my nerve pain flairs up.

I am now sandwiching the DMT with the Damiana; was gonna aim for a heroic dose by taking half a point (100-120mg), but instead I had the “bright” idea of adding a little more because it didn’t look like much. I had the mentality of “hey, I bought the ticket, so I gotta enjoy the ride.”  Absolute rookie mistake… or was it!?

So I’m now taking one big hit and already I can feel it; the taste was like a cross between diesel and poop, the damiana made it somewhat nicer. Holding it in but I reach 10 seconds and it’s already hitting me like a freight train, so I managed to put the pipe away whilst my ego was like “oh you’ve really done it now haven’t you.”

As soon as I exhaled, time froze completely and I lay back next to the cat. The ringing in my ears was deafening as I saw this reality get ripped away. Now, I’ll admit, I’m panicking a bit, I’ve just completely forgotten about everything and how to breathe or blink even. I’m looking down at myself and see that I’m like a fluorescent being of pure light, all zig-zaggy lines.  But then this adorable being came bursting through the bedroom in a rush, like she wasn’t expecting me to breakthrough that fast and she then tried to calm me down. Now for some weird reason, my uhh… private part started glowing red (in context, I live with debilitating nerve pain and can’t really please myself).

She offered to, well uh, relieve me, but I crossed my arms to cover it and respectfully declined, to which she responded with a smug look “oh okay, I won’t, unless..?”

I was like “no-no-no, I’m fine, thanks for offering though.”

We both laughed; but then l realised that she’s my 4th dimensional girlfriend, I just find it hard to believe. She then held my cat which he had zig-zaggy lines of yellow and orange, straight out of a Louis Wain cat drawing. I got up off the bed and then realised that I got my sock wet (it wasn’t actually wet in the physical world), but I think I stepped on a puddle? So I’m like “well frick.”

And walked out of this bedroom into my room and my DMT girlfriend panicked and exclaimed that the toilet was blocked (again, it actually wasn’t), but she used this 4th dimensional poop emoji to convey that it was. I don’t know, I didn’t do it, I just wanted to focus on getting this wet sock off but I too was getting a bit panicky. So I entered my room and she came with me and started evaluating my physical life from the 3rd dimension. Mind you, I had completely forgotten about who I was, but she told me that I had almost died (which I actually almost did, like 3 times). Every time I focused too much on the bad news, all the shapes around me became dark-green and sharpened. But as soon as I let go of that and throw that negativity over my shoulder or I hear good news, it all became light-green and the shapes softened. Mind you, we were talking in a sing-songy manner

we were talking in a sing-songy manner

, like something straight out of Blink-182 or ADTR acoustic song.

She also told me one of the most tragic love story ever- she was like “well what if this person that you’ve recently met online recently, actually had developed a crush on you but they died.” I’ll admit, that almost made me cry and then she hugged me. The crazy thing is, that same person who she told me about ended up confessing their feelings to me 2 months later. Also, she pointed out that, what would you do if your dad had a heart attack and died… made me realise how valuable life was.

She also made me realise that I was kept alive for a reason, which my purpose was to save the planet from man-made pollution; I have to guide those who are in despair onto the path of light. This burden of knowledge became a bit too much at the time, but apparently I was also late for like the bus or something. I ended leaving the house, took my “wet” sock off and started sprinting towards the end of the street (which is almost 1km). At this point, some voice somewhere warned me that if I’m reckless, I could attract unwanted attention, esp. from the evil mass media. But I reassured that I won’t do that. Ever since I went outside, I was transported to another world, like ended up in a place in the US like Portland or Charlottesville instead of here, Australia. It was frightening esp. with the fact that I was looking through “DMT eyes”. Everyone looked so atomised, wearing their political patches and tattoos, the whole AntiFa vs Fascists false dichotomy. I could read people’s thoughts like text bubbles above their heads, I could feel their negative emotions; I was hyper alert of everything, but I had to keep running though. I ran past this tree; in the leaves I could see the merkaba and reverse swastika hybrid- like the Raelist symbol but reversed. Then in the shadows, I could see the sonnerad symbols.

I kept going however ‘til the point I started tearing up and said to myself “irregardless of all the pain, the frustration, of all the messed up things that had happened to me; I will keep going NO MATTER WHAT!”

This was the most liberating feeling I’ve ever had in my life; so I kept sprinting towards the light and I felt no pain at all in doing this running.  I finally got there and was panting like crazy- on the school fence at the end of the road, read the “Sun Smart” sign… and laughed to myself.

4:15

The effects are wearing off, now I need to head back home. I took my other sock off so I didn’t look like some weirdo; besides, I’ll look like more of a hard-ass walking bare foot on asphalt haha.

I did start to feel this overwhelming of love in me, like I was rolling hard on MDMA… and a felt a little embarrassed. By the time I got home I started getting all my shit together, getting ready for my move down to the south coast.

It’s now been 2 months, I still get flashbacks or glimpses into the DMT world; I’ve also been doing some micro-dosing but yeah, working hard now in my plant nursery.

I wish you all peace and know that things will get better.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115687

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Dec 6, 2021	Views: 556

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LSD (2), DMT (18) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)