		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:59
		 2 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:59

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 1:00
		 2 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:59

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

So far I haven't found too many other reports of persisting conditions similar to mine, so I'm posting this in the effort of gaining more information on the condition, flushing a few others with a similar experience out of the woodwork, and reassuring (to a certain extent) those others.

Before this particular experience, I was a fairly experienced user of marijuana and mushrooms, and lightly experienced in the use of LSD (2 months, approx 10 trips).  I've always been a lightweight when it comes to pot smoking, and have shown signs of Acute Panic Disorder when smoking too much.  I had previously never had any negative experiences with hallucinogens (I was arrogantly hoping that I would get to deal with a bad trip, so I would know what it was like).

The dosage was fairly normal to start with, 2 hits on paper, dissolved sublingually for quickest onset.  I then watched a movie with a close (also tripping) friend, and had some minor visual effects, along with the elation of coming up on a trip.  We both smoked some weed during the movie, which added to the effects and led to some severe time dilation.  While the movie was only approx. one hour in length, we found ourselves surprised that the acid hadn't really started to kick in yet.  So we headed upstairs and took another two hits each.  The sensation of the acid dissolving under my tongue suddenly caused the full effects of the first to kick in, amazingly strong.  This gave me a moment of pause, but I'm a fairly competent and cool-minded individual, so I managed to shrug it off.

I remember there were some mind-blowing visual and mental experiences in the meantime, which I can't remember much at this point, but it all took a turn for the worst when I started to feel a numbness in my limbs.  Unfamiliar with the multitudes of psychological effects LSD can have, I thought that it was an indication of some impurity in the acid, and that thought sent me into a horrible spiral.  I think I could have managed it fairly well, but my friend handed me some pot 'to help calm me down'.  As only approx 45 minutes had passed since my last smoke (it felt like hours), a few tokes put me into a full-blown panic attack.

For those who aren't familiar with panic attacks, they often come on hard and fast, without regard to logical reasoning on the part of the victim.  Often there is a feeling of being both too cold and too hot at once, and an immediate concern over overheating/hypothermia.  Heart race is increased due to adrenaline and the mind locks on to this as a sign that something is wrong, making the heart seem unnaturally fast...Often fear of death comes along with that, but I haven't feared death in a long time.  For me, the fear is that I will remain that way forever.  Some other effects include concentration on breathing, being convinced you are going to pass out, and an undeniable urge to keep moving.

This panic attack was particularly horrible, having all of the symptoms listed above, compounded by the enhanced mental state from the LSD.  This was a full-blown bad trip, and I knew I had another 6-8 hours of it.  I managed to keep a cool outward appearence to avoid setting off a negative experience for my friend, but inwardly, it was horribly intense, and very disturbing.  I felt like calling 911 at one point, but was calmed by the fact that LSD does not adversely affect the body (though I still had some concern of it being laced).  It took a long time, but I finally went to sleep, exhausted.

Everything went back to normal for a while, wherein I went back to just smoking pot every now and then, in moderation (3-4 hits did it for me just fine).  However, at a later time, while I was at a friend's house a few months after the initial experience I took a single hit of particularly potent pot (below my normal threshold for a marijuana high), and immediately went into the full-blown panic attack again.  This was highly disturbing, but I decided that if there was such a problem, I would just avoid pot.

Well, the next six months or so were very unpleasant, as the panic attacks would come fairly frequently, 3 or 4 times per week.  They got to the point of causing me to be very disturbed and non-productive.  I went to a psychiatrist and they immediately diagnosed me with mania and threw pills at me.  I went to another psychiatrist and they immediately diagnosed me with depression and threw pills at me.  I really dislike psychiatrists...I used the medications as a stepping stool to understand and analyze the panic, get to the root of it, and solve it.  A year later, and I still have the effects pop up now and then, and I have to be careful when using any substances that alter consciousness even in the slightest.  Also, periods of shifting mental state (going to sleep, meditation, etc) can bring the attacks.

Due to the decreased amounts of attacks, I believe that the problems will eventually cease, but since I haven't found too many accouts of this, I can't be sure.  I hope this comes in useful to someone.  Remember, it WILL get better, if you let it.  Get through panic attacks one at a time, and keep working through your life.  It's hard, yes, but sometimes there's a price you pay for expanding your consciousness.  I think of it as a lesson in caution and humility, and I suggest all users of strong hallucinogens remember to show IMMENSE respect to them.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 14910

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Apr 7, 2005	Views: 29,902

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6), Post Trip Problems (8)


		 DOSE:

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 1 glass
		 oral
		 Alcohol
		 (liquid)

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

It all began at one AM, but the waiting game had gone on far longer than that. I was at my girlfriend Lucy's apartment, waiting to drop acid. She wasn't going to drop with me - but soon my friend Ani arrived, and with her a girl named Julia. Now all that was left was Larry. Larry, who was in town for the weekend, my best friend whom I get to see about twice a year, who was also the first person I ever took LSD with. He was aiming to get to Lucy's about 10 PM and didn't get there until 1 AM, which meant it was officially the Vernal Equinox, the first day of spring, a day for rebirth.

All night something strange had been in the air - outside you could hear people hooting and hollering, and after two bowls and a gin and tonic we all agreed that we felt fucked up in a way that was stranger than being stoned and a little drunk. There was energy in the New York City atmosphere, and we could feel it coursing through everything around us. Finally the clock hit 1 AM, we were all exasperated from playing the waiting game, and Larry rang the doorbell. When he came in, Lucy Ani and Julia grabbed him by the arms and restrained him. I approached him slowly, and he grinned, pretending to struggle as he opened up his mouth and I placed two tabs of acid on his tongue. Then I took my own 2, then Ani took hers, and Julia took hers. We were ready to begin.

We smoked a bowl, waiting to feel weird. It was about 30 minutes later that I first felt an undeniable quiver in the deep down center of my soul. I was restless and couldn't hang out in the kitchen with everyone just standing around. I wandered around the apartment, watching things, waiting for the slightest changes, while the Flaming Lips' Soft Bulletin played from Lucy's stereo. Things were definitely getting strange. I walked by the bar, which has a mirror mounted above it, and watched the reflection of a trippy drawing of the word 'STRETCH' . . . as I walked by it, it did just that, stretching outwards into the mirror-world, and I knew that something was certainly beginning. Soft Bulletin ended, we listened to Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles, and then put in The Arcade Fire's awesome album, Funeral.

At this point I was feeling what I can only describe as glittery and jittery. I was shaking a little bit, my heart was almost racing, and I felt it coming on in a rush. Antsy and needing a change of scenery, I suggested that we all move into the ultra-trippy living room which Lucy and Eileen (her roommate, one of my best friends) had decorated to be a very chill smoking den. The CD was playing on the stereo in there, and the room was covered in psychedelic tapestries and posters, with no windows, and multi-colored lights. We were in a tripping box.

Once we settled into that room, the acid started taking full effect. Ani and Julia weren't sure if they were tripping, seemed to have a tough time settling into it at first, but Larry and I would make eye contact that silently said, 'Wow. We're back.'

Lucy was taking awesome care of all of us, just watching over us and making sure we were comfortable, and she gave me a necklace of hers - a suede necklace with a large glass heart hanging from it, full of bubbles inside. I knew immediately that this was my tripping toy, my buddy, the thing that would always keep me safe, and I clutched it, feeling like it was giving me such good energy. Then Lucy gave us her Game Boy Advance, and Larry and I started taking turns playing Ms. Pac-Man while Ani played Mario Kart Double Dash!! on the GameCube. As usual, videogames were fun while tripping but at the same time felt a little too artificial, and I soon started to be a bit annoyed by all the electronic screens I felt surrounded by. And then, as the Arcade Fire CD came close to its finish, everything went BONZO.

Eileen, Lucy's roommate, came home, and with her came a whole troupe of people, about six in all. I knew that this was going to happen but was completely unprepared for it. It was a really emotional moment for me, too, because as soon as Eileen knew that we were tripping I knew she was upset we hadn't done it with her. I knew she'd be relieved to know that Lucy hadn't eaten any, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her except that. We had shared the acid experience so many times - half the times I've done it, actually - and I was completely overwhelmed.

Lucy put on the Hockey Night CD, which bugged us all out during track 4 or 5, when a voice on the CD suddenly says 'Hi Chris.' Chris is my name. We laughed a lot. Things were getting extremely visual. Eileen's DJ poster was vibrating with every single bass beat, and the tapestries in the room were shifting and flowing like wild, but our time in that room was soon to come to a close, because some of Eileen's pack of friends were going to go to sleep in there, so we moved to Lucy's room, which was to be our psychedelic headquarters for the next couple of hours.

Everything seemed really shaken up at this point, and everyone was sort of scattered, though I felt really connected to Lucy and really excited to see her playing DJ on the stereo in her bedroom, picking awesome rock music for us to trip out too, Led Zeppelin and the like. Like I said, the four trippers all seemed scattered, and suddenly Lucy decided to play that Parliament song that goes 'We Want the Funk...Gotta have that funk, ow!' And it was like the entire universe converged on her room. Suddenly Ani and Julia and Larry were all near me and we were all bouncing to the song, and it seemed to me that we all understood that YES! This was our SONG! We want the FUNK! Larry stayed standing for a while but Ani and Julia and myself got comfy on Lucy's big bed, and I started really looking around, clutching Lucy's favorite stuffed animal, a beautiful soft white owl named Ivan. I was holding Ivan in one hand, and my good-trip glass heart in the other, watching her tapestry swim in its reflection in the mirror on her wall, and watching Bjork move in and out of her poster.

It was time to listen to another full album, and we put on Phish's JUNTA, disc one, and this my friends is when I truly had the absolute LSD experience. It is almost impossible to convey what actually happened, the conversations we had, people moving in and out of the room, but it seemed to me that in between every single word that was spoken, and every single note of every song coming from the CD, that a million other moments were transpiring just for the four of us on LSD. Sometimes the rest of the world would actually move in super-slow-motion and I would feel like I could do a dance in the time it took for someone not tripping to pick up a glass of a water. Everything was completely connected, everything flowed into each other and I just basked in the glory of it, feeling like I was traveling along the story that the songs were telling.

Lucy had been taking great care of us as I said, and anything I asked for she would get for me and didn't seem the slightest bit annoyed which made me so grateful, because I felt pretty useless beyond laying there and simply being. So I asked her to bring me a book I had brought, Harold and the Purple Crayon, and I started reading it out loud while we all watched the pictures. But it was as if I didn't even need to look at the pictures, because as I said the words the entire story seemed to be created in my mind - I felt like I was a caveman creating a story for the first time, and that just by saying it, the story was coming into being. It was beautiful.

As Phish kept playing I felt like entire conversations were happening that no one besides us could possibly hear. It was like I was shifting back and forth between millions of possibilities for the same moment in time. We were amazed, looking at these Wildly Emotional Monkeys.

I took my first trip to the bathroom, and was immediately freaked out by the sight of the toilet and the sink. I knew that trying to aim while standing up was simply a bad idea so I resigned myself to sitting down on the toilet and waited what seemed like forever till I felt like I could comfortably go to the bathroom. While I went, I stared ahead at the bathroom door and put out my hands, staring at them, and revelation after revelation poured down on me, making me feel endlessly lucky just to be alive. It was there, in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet that I felt pure and utter ego loss, losing myself to the flow of things and feeling a true understanding of the light moving between all things.

Then I returned to Lucy's room, and took a spot on the bed beside her, clutching my glass heart while putting my head against her hip. Larry seemed absolutely normal, as if tripping on acid was equivalent to his state of normality, and he kept on talking about lots of things that were just kinda blowing my mind. Then Phish ended and it was time for another CD. And another world.

Ani was doing something at the stereo and then I heard her press play and the opening notes to Radiohead's Hail to the Thief began. I shot Lucy a sideways glance and she understood just from that one look that I did not want to hear this album..it immediately reminded me of the hardest mushroom trip I'd ever had, with Ani and Larry, during which I went completely crazy to that very same album. I took a deep breath and got ready to listen to it. When the second song started, it really scared me, and I laid down on the bed next to Lucy, putting my head next to her lap and hugging her legs. She was playing with my hair, putting me at ease, tickling me now and then, and when I just thought about the fact that I was holding her and she was holding me, everything would be okay.

I thought of Timothy Leary, and felt all my limbs, and how I was experiencing life down to its deepest level. I was no longer me at those moments, I was just the latest incarnation of this role that had been played for millennia - the male. The male being, amazed to be alive. And Lucy was playing the other role, the female, and it made me love that duality, that need for a complementary half to one's own soul, and in my mind I placed Lucy and myself in every role. Mother and son, nurse and patient, sister and brother, lovers, anything I could imagine. She was the all-woman and I was the all-man, she was the earth-mother and I was the first man to walk the brown soil and wonder at the grass, and she just stroked my hair and said 'Explore.'

But between those moments of ego-less bliss, Radiohead was freaking me the hell out. And then it happened - during track 3, Sail to the Moon, Ani started saying why she loved that particular song. And I listened to her, and then sat up and interrupted her and said 'We've had this exact conversation before.' And we had. That time I had a semi-bad-trip on mushrooms. And it bugged me out, so we stopped talking about it, but the album continued to scare me. Lucy would make me feel a lot better but I was getting nervous and nervous, and as Myxomatosis was playing, suddenly I got up and ran to the bathroom, dropped to my knees, and puked into the toilet.

I'd never thrown up tripping before, and frankly, it blew my damn mind. I looked at my chicken and vegetable soup sitting in the toilet, looking purple and disgusting, and leaned my head out to the door. 'Lucy, could you come in here please?'

Lucy came and I was so grateful for her to be there, and I just wanted her to take care of me and make me feel better. She touched my head and smiled so sincerely that I felt like I was melting, and then she turned the sink on and started splashing water all over my face and my chest. She was literally just throwing water at me, and then smearing it across my forehead and my face, and it felt utterly beautiful. I felt like I was shedding skin, like she was washing away all these levels of myself down to this inner being, this inner child deep within that was coming out to the foreground. I felt baptized, ready to begin anew, and we went back out to her room.

I was still bugging out a little bit and we all decided it would be a good idea to go to the roof. Eileen and her whole big group of friends had all retired for the night and so we crept out onto the fire escape quietly and climbed up one flight of stairs to the roof and some of the most beautiful visuals that I have EVER experienced. The city was wild and from Lucy's roof you could see it stretching out forever in all directions. Buildings were rising and shrinking, stretching and shifting, and I walked arm and arm with Lucy across the roof to the ledge overlooking 9th st.

We hugged, and I opened my eyes looking over her shoulder, squeezing her tight, and I could see waves of energy rippling the entire city, rushing towards that one rooftop, that one spot where the two of us were standing embracing each other, like we were the center of all gravity. I cried a bunch. Ani Julia and Larry came over and we stood there watching the city in the early morning - at this point it was around 6 AM - and all the pigeons swarming over downtown. As the pigeons landed on the buildings they would turn the color of whatever paint they were nearest to and melt into the faces of the buildings as if they were a part of them. Then they would become themselves again and fly off. It was insanely beautiful.

Ani and Julia went downstairs and Larry Lucy and I stuck around on the roof for a bit, talking. Finally we rejoined Ani and Julia, and I was struck with a sense of need-to-get-out-of-here. I felt like I had spent so much of my soul in Lucy and Eileen's apartment that I couldn't bear to be there any longer. I had touched God there in that room and now I couldn't stay. We all got our shoes on and went down to street level and took a walk a park. We split up again, Larry Ani and Julia taking one route while Lucy and I walked arm-in-arm and talked. I cried a bunch more, and we sat down on a bench in the huge clearing near the southeast corner of the park, right in front of two humongous tangled arching trees, I wish I knew what kind they were. The rest of the crew joined us and Ani wandered around listening to her iPod while Larry, Julia, Lucy and myself sat there watching everything.

In the distance two men walked by, and one of them threw his arms up to the sky, saying 'God! God!' and I thought, 'I know exactly how you feel.' All of us did. Finally we got up to walk on, but first, in girl-boy-girl-boy-girl order, we all hooked arms, and walked in the shape of an infinity sign around and between the two trees. When we were coming towards the intersection point that marked our making a full figure-8, we all braced ourselves and I swear you could feel that we were sealing some sort of grand and eternal deal.

We couldn't go back to Lucy's apartment - or at least, I couldn't - and so we just picked up our pot and our bags and headed to mine instead, which was just up the block. On the way I threw up water outside a deli, and felt pretty shaken up. We went to my apartment and smoked and Lucy made me some tea. I drank a couple of sips of it, crying (Good tears, Good tears) while Larry played Neil Young and Interpol and all sorts of good songs. I needed to lie down and I asked Lucy if she would lay with me and we went to my bedroom and got under the comforter, just laying there and thinking about everything that had happened, talking about all of it. I felt completely happy, but at the same time it seemed so hard at that moment to still be tripping, so I just clutched my glass heart in one hand and Lucy in the other and breathed deeply for a few hours.

We could hear the rest of them in the other room, listening to music and eventually watching I Heart Huckabees, but I only got up a couple of times to go to the bathroom. I had to stay in bed, I don't know why, but I just needed to rest everything, body and soul. Eventually Julia left. Then Lucy went home. I went to sleep, and woke up when Ani left and stayed up with Larry for a while, then left to rejoin Lucy and see how I could go about rejoining the real world. It turned out that Indian Food and a Led Zeppelin DVD were the answer.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 41611

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Apr 15, 2005	Views: 16,536

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LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 tablet
		 rectal
		 MDMA

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   T+ 4:30
		 1 capsl
		 rectal
		 MDMA

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   220 lb

This experience happened a few days ago, last weekend at an undergroundish psy-trance gathering of hippies, ravers, burners and college students looking to fry the happiest way we know how. For me it was also my first time candyflipping (taking lsd and ecstasy together) and a celebration of having finished my midterms with good grades after working my ass off for weeks. As the time of the event approached and we scrambled to get the sound, decorations, visuals, soundproofing, etc. in place, tension ran a little high. People got frustrated with one another, but thankfully in the end things fell together wonderfully and we created an incredible space with blacklights, projections, handmade glowing psychedelic tapestries, etc. My mindset was a combination of impatience, anticipation, nervousness and excitement as I waited to see how the party would turn out and what the night would bring.

At 10:15pm, with the space prepped and the music starting, I stepped off to the bathroom to take my first dose of the night. I ate one lsd sugar cube (these were incredibly strong, our trusted medicine man refused to sell more than one to anybody, which was a good call) and nervously inserted one compressed green tablet of ecstasy stamped with a strawberry logo in to my rectum. This was my first time plugging anything, but from what I had heard about the experience of plugging x, I thought it would be worth a try. After washing my hands obsessively (because I mean, eww, especially if you're going to be touching people all night) I stepped outside for a cigarette. By the time the cigarette was done, I was coming up incredibly hard and fast. I had the familiar unpleasant sensation in my stomach and the feeling of a rapidly rising body temperature, but I didn't feel like I was in danger of vomiting, which was incredible considering how hard it was coming on. I rode out about 20 minutes of sensory overload on a couch that became more comfortable with each passing second, finally taking a small hit of marijuana to settle my stomach. With that done, I found myself rolling HARD. That maniacal clenched-jaw grin settled in, every sensation was like heaven, and it was only getting better.

Heading in to the dance floor, I experienced orgasmic bliss from the bass rattling my body. I found I was already experiencing outrageous visuals, which is what makes me suspect that there may have been MDA in the tab I took, as I was not yet experiencing the body load or the 'mindfuck' associated with the stage of an LSD trip that produces visuals at that level. I started to dance, the joy of pressing beyond my normal limits, exerting myself more and more and experiencing the music with ever-increasing intensity. About here my sense of time begins to fade as the lsd kicks in, and I find it increasingly difficult to dance as my body begins to confuse me and the visuals build to the point where it's difficult to see clearly at all.

The next thing I know, I'm at the bottom of a 'cuddle puddle' on a huge sofa, a tactile orgy. I can't believe how incredible it feels to be so connected to these people, we're all in love now and we show it with every kiss, nuzzle, scratch, touch, tickle, squeeze. The girls, the boys, everyone is absolutely beautiful and nobody is the least bit afraid of each other. There is nothing lecherous or even really sexual in our caresses, each of us is simply engaging in sensual worship of and tribute to these beautiful, beloved creatures we are lucky enough to call our friends. The menthol cigarettes and high quality weed (it keeps me from frying too hard, brings out the acid and tastes delicious) come out. We are in fucking heaven. A guy I'm acquainted with, but have never really talked to much is there beside me, and we hold on to each other as fiercely as we can, talking, massaging, loving. I have no words now for the depth of the connection, of the adoration, of the safe glowing radiant love joy. Each moment is such a precious gift. It is love. It is delicate, impermanent, impossible, drug-induced, yes. But it is heartfelt, intense, gorgeous. We are gods, superhuman, unafraid, wonderful.

With difficulty, I manage to get my eyes to focus long enough to see that it's 2:45AM. I'm coming down now, but by no means crashed. I step to the bathroom again, this time plugging a gelcap filled with 'molly', pure mdma powder. I dance again until I feel it in my stomach and return for a few minutes to the sofa and my friends. As I come up on the molly, it's clear that the acid isn't acting on me so strongly now, though it is far from gone. My head is clearing, the energy is rising within me. The molly speaks with the booming voice of God, handing down one simple commandment: 'Dance, white boy.' I am overjoyed to comply. I'm on the dance floor, the neon ribbons in my hands glowing under the black light and creating psychedelic patterns as the beats drive me to move like I can't even believe, as the bass washes over me, my eyes roll back in my head with the impossible pleasure of it, every breakdown finds me in a sweat-soaked reverie, every buildup raises me to the stars and gives me the energy to hurl myself back in to the fray.

Deciding to give my body a break, I step outside in a motion that I'm told by an applauding group of friends combines all the best of sex and swimming (I slicked my soaking hair back from my face, looking to the sky and gasping ecstatically at the cool night air). Outside, I wait my turn to use the firespinning chains. When my time comes there is no fear, my coordination is perfect. I see the beauty of the bright orange flames as they whip past me, the fire roars gorgeously and I am overcome by the intensity of the sensation. I am surrounded by it, consumed with it, part of it, yet still in control of it. I am superhuman, there is power and glory in every move I make. This is fucking rapture.

I take one more green strawberry, knowing even before I do that I'll regret it. As dawn approaches, a group heads up to the roof, watching the sunrise together and smoking out. After lounging around with arms around new and old friends, talking softly for a few hours, I head home with a headache and muscle soreness like you wouldn't believe, pound a couple of cosmopolitans and am soon slipping off to sleep.

I wake up some 15 hours later feeling, well, like shit. My body is ravaged and sore, my mind is dulled, I am unable to focus or feel much of anything. I ride it out, and wake up the next day feeling pretty much the same, but the feeling continues to fade as the day goes on. Today I woke up feeling pretty much normal. I believe sincerely that smoking a little pot periodically throughout the roll keeps me just slightly mellower and reduces the period of time that I will experience after-effects for. I also should have been smart enough not to take another tab so late in the night. Anyway, I doubt I'll be doing this again soon (it takes quite a toll and I have other things to do), but dear Jesus am I glad that I had this experience. It was so incredibly intense, and yet so clean, so bright, so pure, so wonderful. I think that the experience will stick with me long after the hangover has disappeared.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 41257

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Apr 30, 2005	Views: 53,394

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Hangover / Days After (46), Glowing Experiences (4)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 hit
		 smoked
		 DMT

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

It took me well over nine weeks to orginize the pick up and drop off of both the LSD and DMT.  I am an experienced Acid user, and umong other things use it to simply trip, meditate, at times explore the universe, and other times I do it because my life has been good and the day is nice.  I am lucky, having such access to LSD, however, my source has slowly dried up, and I have been dry.  Not that this bothered me, as I said life is dandy and drugs were used like a walk, a good one here and there and not too many lest I get bored of them.  Then magicly it happened, my source got five hits of aperently very high quailty, possibly 100 or 120 nq (nanograms is it?) Per hit.  I had also been gearing up for getting some DMT, somthing I have done before but less frequently.  I thought that the time was right, the setting couldnt look better, and life was good; it was time to drop acid and blaze in a cloud of DMT.

Parinoia: possibly, Fear?  Most likely.  Self inspection?  Lets hope so.

What merited this experience was the fact that I was going on a road trip with my source, and a number of freinds.  Oh my twas straight out of HST's (who unfortunetly passed away recently) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  We had well over 160mg of DMT, 5 hits of acid, maney a bag of grass, three diferent species of mushrooms (sry I cant tell which ones) and lots of spare cash, not to mention one bottle of very fine Barbados Rum.  Ah, yes, a drug fueld drive from our New England home to Las Vegas, and from there to Yosemiti National Park.  We split the stash into fairly equal parts, I chose a few shrooms one blotter and I believe 35 mg of DMT.  I was saving the acid and DMT for Yosemiti. (the shrooms will have to be another story)

Fastforward a week or two and you'll find me calmly walking down a forgotten path, somewere in the woods.  I had dranken an herbal tea of Valerian, St Johns Wort and Chamomile.  I had also slept well the night before, and had fasted all of the current day.  The sun was out, and I was alone with only my close freind Mr. Acosta (ha).  It was around 1 PM when we both droped our blotters.  By now, when was walking slightly ahead of him, I could feel the first afects come on.  I smiled, turned to him, told him 'lets find a pool or bed of water and watch the rabbits frolic about'.  So we ambled off into the crisp summer breeze and found a pool of water of somesort, very idealic, with a classic stream pouring into it.  An hour had passed, and I was peaking fast.  I layed down, dangled my feet into the water, and smiled as the trees waved before me and around me.  The place felt right, the time coudlnt of been better, so I turned and told him to pass his glass pipe over.  He knew what I was doing, and in order not to be a mental strain on me he stood, smiling, and loped off after some ray of sunshine, who knows.  He was having a good time, and he trusted that I could handle myself.  I lumbered up with some difficulty, the ground was beggining to undulate.

As I stood I had one of those classic times when the high hits me full on after an hour of rest during the come up.  I looked at the pool and was pleased to see that the plants and birds were all smiling, breathing with a unison, reminding me that we are all one in some ways, in some ways...so I ambled off to sit by a rock, with one foot just touching the water, and made sure I had a firm support against it, I didnt want to fall over.

So as I sat here and felt my mind slowly melting into the valley and sun and trees, I questioned what I wanted out of this experience.  Yes, I wanted to see things that werent there, yes I would enjoy talking with a woodland elf, but I needed a little more.  So I decided I would, if I could still walk afterwards, find the center of this wood, and there I would meditate.

I packed the crystals into the pipe and took one long hit, a very long long long (seemed to last forever, and ever and ever) hit.  No, this was no hit, this was the drag of all drags, a single breath, and as I breathed in the whole wood around me, the pond, the rocks, the stream grass (were those smiling faces I saw?) They all breathed in too.  And then I dropped the pipe, rolled over, and closed my eyes.

   !!!!!!!!!!!This is reality!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    Folow the chain and watch it as it leads around the bend....

      *********************see? Ha see with your mind and may u not be blind .................................

             Follow the chain (follow theyellowbrickroadtheyellowbrickradotheyellowbrickroad)...

My memory is a wee bit tweaked from this expereince, but I did in fact get up and followed a yellow brick road.  There was one there, perhaps not yellow, but a road none the the less, leading into the heart of the wood.  I thought of life and what it was.  At times I would stop and lean against a tree, and we would talk (mentally that is) about this and that.  When I would blink I would instantly be rushed forward, feeling my body almost let go of the ground and fly away, greeted by thousands of flying objects, beautfly real in everyway.  This happened everytime I blinked.  DMT doenst last very long in comparison to LSD, but it felt like ages.  Every blink would send me just a little closer to (was it the edge?  A good edge?  Yes, the edge of god) and each blink would last a thousand years of man.  When my eyes were open I would see trees bending over, and (I want to say) little men running up them.  Reminded me of faires, and in the distant I could very distinctly see a massive house with a courtyard full of mushrooms.  I beleive it was a reminisence of an old dream I would have as a young child, where I would climb through a small door into a wood, and at the end of the wood there was a house with a garden of shrooms.  I thought of that dream, and in that instant I climbed through the little door.

I was gone.  I was surfing the cosmos, but yet everywere I looked I saw a strangley Alice in Wonderland like scene, but everytime I closed my eyes I leaped forward thousand of miles to distant stars.  At one point I sat down, and stayed there for ages......

I lost track of time.

At around 7 pm I got up (I dont know how long I had been where I was) and found my way back to baseground.  Two of my friends were laying out on the grass staring at the sky, and I was told they had eaten their shrooms.  My fellow tripper was smoking a hefty bowl, easing his way through the comedown.  The others were off.  I sat down, fully off of the DMT, and felt almost bored with the incredibly intense acid visuals.  I had just spent a horribly long time examining everything and here I was, back at camp, after a  journey of thousands of miles (not literaly), and I was bored with the acid.  This led me to feel uneasy, so to a nearby tree and once agained questiond god and life, closed my eyes and felt myself slowly detach from reality.  Again I came back, after a journey away, into starts and into the very meaning of life, finding the fading visuals rather dull, yet somehow more pleasing than they orignaly were.  I had  a new apreciation for them, and feeling rather mentally fatigued, I went about simply exploring the visuals them selfs.  I watched grass wave, trees melt, clowds shift shape, the standard but always beautiful effects of LSD were never so wonderful than now.  But my mind was burnt, and even though I was happy I was tired, but I coudlnt sleep.

Anyways, it was barely 8 or nine, and the sun was just setting, or at least it felt like it.  So I went to my freind and asked for a bowl or two, and we shared a nice one.  It did the trick, calming me down, numbing that one nerve that had been tickled too much.  It was then I settled down in a comforitable spot with some music and enjoyed the rest of the comedown, ocasionly opening my eyes to examine the trees or the new stars.  It was truly beautiful.

Coming out of this experience I am uncertain if I will ever blaze up on DMT while jacked up on acid, it being rather intense.  There was a sense of loss when I came off the DMT and back to acid reality.  But it can be easily dismissed with the sheer beatuty of the world around me.  The tea helped, having mentally calmed me, and the tea I had later that night helped too, easing the trip to a gentle end, though it never really ended till the next day.  Everything was warped beyond imagination, and words cant do it justice.  Never try it alone unless experienced with its effects, as I was.  And have a purpose.  I feel the only way I got through the let down of coming back to acid reality after the such vivid insights the DMT gave me was because I had a sense that even though it was over, I had fulfilled my purpose of self inspection.  Though the DMT was gone, I had done my deed, and with that there was a certain amount of satisfaction that the acid maginified into a fountain of joy, drowning out the feeling of loss.

It was amazing beyond all words.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 41279

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 7, 2005	Views: 82,802

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LSD (2), DMT (18) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Combinations (3), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 8 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   130 lb

I hope this isn’t too long. This trip is absolutely 100% pure reality, and in fact there’s more than that that I experienced, but I just don’t want to put it all in here. I made contact with several different entities. But anyway, this all happened to me, and I believe that it’s possible to achieve that state of consciousness other than using drugs. I know I have felt extreme states of ecstasy, purely without drugs. Since past experiences, I have stopped using drugs of all kinds because I know where they all lead me in the end. Drugs are a gateway to consciousness, but what is not achieved by natural means falls back. Every action has a re-action. What goes up must come down. That’s how drugs work with consciousness. I got to see heaven, now I get to see hell. My experience at least. Anyway, thanks a lot, this was my pleasure. Ciao, baby.

All righty folks, this is a reply to the article entitled Eternal Terror, Fear and Torment. Yes buddy, I’ve been there, I know what you felt, but hey man, maybe I can clear up a few things for you. I hope so.

My trip was like yours. First I experienced Heaven, Then I made a mistake, like Eve, and bought into the illusion of Hell. Of Good and Evil. But that’s not important, the only thing that could ever matter is the experience of God. I’m sorry if this sounds like spiritual nonsense. Even if it is though, just read it, it’s really, really interesting. At least I hope it is.

I’ll give the details of the procession of steps that lead up to the realization of the presence of God.

I dropped the ’cid, and it took about 25 minutes to kick in. It was very fast, and I was very, very high. The hallucinations were incredible. I saw waves of energy connecting with my thoughts. The more loving the thought, the more affect it had on the outside world. It was hard not to be loving in that state. I was in love with everything. I loved all my friends I was with and I still do. I was immersed in the beauty of everything and everyone. The tracers were crazy. I would move my hand in one direction, and the trace flipped back and forth three or four times before coming back to my hand.

My thoughts seemed to say so much, seemed to have so much power. I was aware of the increasing soul to soul contact happening with everyone on the bus I was on at the time. As the communication initiated and grew, the flow of love grew to a state beyond anything I can explain. My whole body was filled up with this ecstatic, flowing energy. My spine felt like a big energy converter, with big lightning bolts running up it, then flowing down my arms, out of my hands into my head, out of my heart, out of my eyes. My hands seemed to move into positions on there own, only because of that energy. It was like my hand would open up like a flower, just to let that energy pour out. it was quite amazing.

I could see the energy, not with my eyes, but I just knew what it was doing, because I felt at one with it. I could shift consciousness at will, so I could see further down the road, further to the side, maybe to a distant friend, maybe above my head. Stop and rewind at will. Look into the future. See down a thousand years.

I realized that the soul was one with God, and so everyone’s soul was like the a holographic replica of the same existence. At the very base, we are all the same. This contact was startlingly evident. It was like not only I was telepathic, but so were the people around me. One girl, a very loud, eccentric girl, was in fact reading my thoughts and responding to them out loud, although if she was aware of it I know not. I know her soul was though..

The realization was only building up to this point. It wasn’t fully experienced, and thoughts kept on racing around my mind. Right now I was mostly interesting in direct communion with God, and the value my desires seemed to have.

I desired not only to know that I was one with God. I desired to experience it with another! I sat and looked at the people ahead of me. I saw the twinkles in there eyes, yet they were not looking directly at me. Why did they hold back? What are they afraid of… Every time I thought about them, and how much I wanted to see them eye to eye, they just sort of smiled, yet they didn’t look me in the eye, so it was odd. I swear, I must have had angels looking over me that day.

The moment of realization came when a friend of mine answered my pleas for full fledged contact. She initiated the God contact by a gazing look into my eyes. At first I resisted, but then I grasped the courage to look into her eyes and experience who I was without denying anything, and boom. All thoughts stopped. The silence was overwhelming. My Lord, this was beautiful. In one instant, I understood it all. God looks God in the eye and realizes its love for itself. Such an experience brings leaves one breathless, tears to fill the eyes to say the least. You see, I had never left that state of union, but by some weird unfortunate accident, I merely forgot. It really wouldn’t have mattered how long I had forgotten. Whether asleep for 1 or a thousand years really seemed to have no significance. It was all the same to me. In that presence, one split second of the presence I felt, and everything else seems like a fleeting dream in comparison.

In every person I saw, the one soul was there. It was the same unity looking out of everyone’s eyes. It was full fledged acknowledgement on its part. It was unbridled, it was not denied, it was something never before experienced. It was heaven on earth. The souls of others so beautifully understood this, even if the ego did not. People seemed to exist on two levels at the same time. On one level, the ego is functioning, yet at the same time below all of that, the soul is really running the show. The soul is all that matters, and nothing happens without the soul’s consent. Nothing. Even a trip to hell. It may be very subtle, but trust me, it’s all that matters. Whatever happens, it’s meant to happen, says the soul. All’s perfect, from every snowflake to every strand of DNA, to every spiral galaxy and beyond. That’s God. The ultimate mathematician.

In this state, just about anything was possible. I could create universes and galaxies at will. I could zoom back to past lives at will. I saw who I was, who I had met, who I knew that was in this life, but also others. We were lovers, we endured tragedies, sometimes you were a hero, sometimes you were the idiot, sometimes you were…anything…trust me, you’ve been there, you’ve done it all… we’ve all been the victim, the lover, the hater, the hurt little child, that’s why its easy to forgive others. That’s not who they are. Egos only exist because they don’t know any better. They don’t know that its okay to love… who would in our society? It’s so unacceptable… the status quo is the ego, not unifying love.

That’s sort of… well, it sucks, because the only thing that matters, out of all of those lifetimes, is how efficiently love is expressed. It’s like, that’s really all the soul wants to remember. One can spend a lifetime hating and cursing, and know not much is going to come of it, because one can spend a lifetime loving and enjoying and appreciating, and baby, the soul's going to remember that. If a person only did five minutes of real love in one lifetime, that five minutes would be the absolute highlight, over everything that they ever did in their life, that would be what the soul remembers, and relishes. Love is where the soul shines. Love…

Anyway, I also saw some of those who had experienced this state. A sense of utter peace that no one can explain to you. You just are. Nothing else is needed. That’s what its like. I could even control my present reality. I could stop, examine it, go backwards in time, stop it just like I do on a VCR. This was all very cool. But then I got a sense that something not very cool was happening. Something very serious, very bad, very wrong was coming down onto me. This is the thing that to this day gives me uncontrollable flashbacks. Not the flashbacks where I see hallucinations. But the flashback of the experience.

Because…this is where I made a boo-boo. This is where I made a mistake, this is where the descent started. It felt like I was reliving the fall of mankind. I felt as if I had arrived at the gates of hell. The words: The fall, fallen angel, evil, LUCIFER especially, had great significance to me. I experienced their reality only too well.

I was being arrested by the police. I felt that these people were not my enemies, they were trying to take care of me, yet the problem lay not in what they were doing, but what was about to come. The aspect of my soul that had experienced the future brought back very grim news for me. It was like the soul was saying, OK buddy, get ready, brace yourself. You’re really not going to have a fun time here…this is really, really bad…

Why I was arrested really doesn’t matter. I did nothing bad, I screamed at people, but in a friendly way believe it or not. I knew this was friendly because they smiled back at me and even talked to me. Think about the drunken hobo who’s all very joyous, yet still yelling at people on the street. That was me. In fact, I gave away 80 dollars, a bank card, a bus pass and an I.D. to various different peoples… still… I shouldn’t have done any of that, man.

Don’t worry though, the bad part isn’t quite yet. There’s still another part I have to describe. It was like, I stopped existing as a person. My persona had completely disappeared, and all that was left was pure witness. I was taken out to the ends of the universe, the ends of time, even to the very, very beginning of the universe. My exploration of universal unity led me there. It felt like I was looking down the window of time and the universe. It was like an endless street of bright blue white light. It was celestial and so very vast. From this view, I saw how the universe began. How did I happen to know this? Well, I started to hear the sound of a flute… It blew. It blew again… this was a pattern, it blew, and it blew again. then it blew, and it blew again. From this, sprung forth karmic patterns that would intersect with each other in perfect mathematical synchronicity. They went to the ends of the universe, in a billion trillion different patterns, and at the end of eons, would return to one another. This was yin and yang. This was where all patterns of the universe, everything, originated. These two principles of yin and yang directed every single particle in the universe. All karma was the result of this. It was like it was so very simple, just two patterns, yet from them sprouted incalculable complexity. Everything had already been set, now it was just living itself out. Like a wind-up clock watch. Very similar to that.

Basically all manifestations arose out of this dual yin yang cycle. You were the watcher of the duality. You were non dual, you were only the witness of the process. You can see it in nature. Nature is the creation of this. Physical life itself is the result of this. DNA! The two strands. This is Wholly Duality, sprouting out of Wholly Unity. That is my understanding. Perhaps they are one and the same, I know not.

Anyways, I happened to wonder if I was in the void, only because It seemed to go on just forever! Thousands and thousands of years, celestial eons, or was it a fleeting second? What would be the difference…

Freed from all concepts of myself, I completely forgot my individual identity, and there I was, left in the celestial space for eons. I began with the start of the cycle, and saw it completely itself, no joke, millions of times. I saw the cycle grow, and come back again, then grow and be even larger, and then come back again… all very interesting. I had acquired so much. ‘So this is all I’ve gone through,’ I thought to myself. I didn’t know if that’s what it was, or if it was the future. I just didn’t know. Maybe one day though.

Anyway, I was in that state. I was mesmerized in this cosmic dance, this cosmic history. I saw different races evolve and fall, I saw the encyclopedia of the kingdom of God. Quite large and impressive. I had fallen into hypnosis almost, forgetting that I was even aware of it. So I woke up and became conscious of it once again. I thought, Who am I? What am I? I had no recognition of humanness, let alone Peter-ness.

That startled me. Wasn’t I something before? In that moment, a prayer went out to God. I was in this celestial voidness, or so it seemed to me. I had become static, unmoving. The prayer had the affect of starting my personal karma again. Starting time again. So time started, and slowly, the energy and karma worked itself back so that I became conscious of my physical surroundings once again.

Of all the places I could possibly return to, I returned to a prison. This is what my soul was telling me about. This was the dead-serious part. I was in a cell, I was in a land of shadowy figures, and the energy here felt really, really bad. It instilled me with a cringing, neurotic, hopeless sense of fear. Oh, that fear is bad, really, really bad. But, then the cops came in the cell, and started beating on me. See it turns out I kicked a police officer in the head, although I have hardly any recollection of that, but I guess the cops wanted to get back at me for doing that. So these officers came in to the cell, cuffed me to the cell bars I think, and kicked me in the head a few times. It really, really hurt and I felt so hopeless, as the warm salty blood leaked from my head. God, I was still chained to the fucking bars. After awhile they took that off, but my right hand is still recovering from the numbing tingliness that happened when the cuffs pinched my nerves or something.

That was my physical experience, but I was still quite active psychically, and more than anything, that was what I was concentrating on. I could still see back and forth between dimensions and time-lines, and I knew that I was at the gates of hell. I saw who had been there, I saw that they had to walk through that gate, such terror it was. Worse, much worse than one could imagine. I saw that they experienced damnation forever. It was a very tragic state to be in. Before I had this experience, I never thought much of the Luciferic. Before that, I only thought in terms of body. I thought it just meant people who were jerks and beat you up and whipped you and treated you like they do in prison or in boot camp. That would be really fine and dandy if it was all that, because all the physical torturing one can imagine, is really just ‘openers’ as one man described it. All that stuff in is just child’s play compared to meeting Lucifer head on. Just getting all nice and warmed up for the real thing.

In the real thing, there ain’t no joking around buddy, your fucked. you know your fucked, for eternity, and there’s nowhere to go. That’s how it feels. Impending doom, ultimate void, ultimate destruction. The most blood curdling feeling of doom imaginable. It felt like the rebellion had actually undermined God’s power. They had caught me, there was no escaping it now. Oh sure, they offered me a few ways out. Lets see, killing my loved ones, slitting my wrists, dropping more acid. After that I would go on a rampage with an associate and in the end I would kill her, then I would go to court, and then I would kill myself. But it would be okay! Because once I died, I would be taken back to the realm of God. They told be that I was ‘sent’ here. That I was on a ‘mission’. Very convincing lies folks. Trust me, if you ever encounter these forces. This energy. Pray, pray like you’ve never prayed before. Whatever you do don’t believe or buy into any of their tricks, no matter how great the synchronicity, no matter how convincing the lies. They are fallen ANGELS. Masters of illusion and celestial knowledge.

I don’t know, I don’t think anybody who hasn’t been there can know what it’s like. But the thing is, like I said. its all based on a lie. Remember how Lucifer was an Angel? OK, so angels have knowledge of the Divine, of Eternity, and of the soul, so it seems as though one of the most advanced angels fell from God’s love into great egocentricity, and then used all of that knowledge to attack souls, making them believe that this hell was actually real eternity, when it is not. The reason it’s not eternity, is because you are experiencing it. God is still with you when you experience hell, because to even suggest that God isn’t with you is impossible.

Basically, you buy into a big, big illusion. The trap of egocentricity. If you follow the ego long enough, that is where you will end up.

So anyways, that’s one level of hell. I'm sure there’s worse, I haven’t been there, I hope no one goes even half as bad as that, but believe it or not I also went to the higher levels of hell too. There’s a lot of wanna-be impostor Lucifers, that’s basically what hell is comprised of. There’s demons, full of hatred, vampires, but the most tragic thing is there is also poor souls just like you and me who are trapped in this suffering. Their lives aren’t based on hatred, self-serving, Luciferic energy, but more based on tragedy, guilt, shame, and hopelessness. This is where most people commit suicide out of this level. I saw this, I experienced the energy out of which countless people commit suicide. I saw them in Hell, I saw there tragedy. In this level they were not tortured by physical wounds, but more mental woes.

Although not even a fraction as bad as the confrontation with the Luciferic, these people still do live in a hell. It’s like these people are sinking lower and lower, and at the level of the tragic and suicidal, there is immense sadness, followed by a sense of loss of hope, and BAM… one is confronted with the most unloving energy imaginable. It humiliates, it insults, it blames, it makes a person feel horrible. They moan, they cry, they wallow in there misery. Some grab each other for comfort, others are taken away, others are all alone. Eternal solitary confinement.

This is the exact opposite of God. Poor, poor people. Well folks this is where the lower astral is. With LSD, you can venture psychically into these different realms. That’s all a bad trip is, a trip to the lower astral. So, if I have any intelligence, I'm going to want to change the way I live now because, where do people go when they die? It depends, right? God is a million times better than the devil because God is me, and the devil is separation.

It’s not that they’re opposites, it’s that one is true and the other is false. Truth has no opposite. Just as light has no opposite. Dark is not the opposite of light, dark is the progressive loss of light. That is hate. It is also like heat. There is only one variable, the presence of heat.

Think of this diagram. Heat is love, and water is consciousness. At the very highest levels of heat, water turns into steam. The soul releases all its weight and becomes one with all there is. As it lowers down, I suppose one reaches the water level, which could be compared to Earth (purgatory!!), love isn’t overflowingly eternal like it was in heaven, but hate isn’t disastrously confrontational like it is in hell. But then it gets cold, and but happens then? Well, it turns to ICE. Hell, the frozen lake of Hell. Dante’s Inferno? You interpret it. At 0° Celsius, there is a change in character of the water. Suddenly, the recognition of all that is loving changes, twists, turns backwards, and perverts. Suddenly, everything starts slowing down, until one is left with dead cold, void of heat, static, still, forever. Welcome to my home, says Luci. LOL.

So guys, that’s my story. The moral of the story is, God is still with you, even then, your just not really aware of it. Hell will pass away, but God won’t. So just choose that which doesn’t go away. That’s what can happen when taking acid. Things that nobody should ever know about. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss. Even if none of this is true, I just hope that that person who met the devil reads this. It’s long and detailed, but sometimes it has to be. Anyways that’s my two red cents. See ya.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 17338

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 14, 2005	Views: 33,600

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6)


		 DOSE:

		 50 mg
		 smoked
		 DMT
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   55 kg

This is a trip report a friend from overseas sent me.

Entheogen intake: Cannabis&gt;LSD&gt;Nitrous&gt;DMT

We are listening to a CD by Shulman in the loungeroom. Its about 2300 and most of the house visitors have gone home. Finally the stifling effect of different energetic vibrations is replaced by a reflective quiet as the soothing and evocative sounds issue forth from the stereo and we allow the space to be lit by the entheogens eaten hours earlier.

There are three of us. Myself, my girlfriend Rusty and my friend ZZZ. Rusty and I have eaten strong acid and my friend Z has had 2 grams of Psilocybe cubensis. There are definite benefits in smoking DMT in conjunctions with oral tryptamines such as Psilocybin and LSD. For me one can use much less DMT and still work it and get very good results...as well, the DMT experience seems to linger longer when already the Psilocybin or Tryptamine is in the system.

As ZZZ and I talk random tripper talk Rusty walks into the loungeroom and quietly informs us that the CD by Shulman is her DMT music and I notice that she has her 'kit' for a DMT/Nitrous experience. As I watch, she has a mystical glow and I feel happy and safe in the knowledge that tonight she is bringing it through for the tribe, she is providing the space, the sacred healing energies. It is rare that rusty offers her magickal services and holds the space in a group sitting and Z and I are honoured to be experiencing it. The providing of the DMT experience and indeed for any sacred inebriant is an extremely powerful act. It can be an act of self empowerment and enlightenment for all involved or it can be a painful karmic burden and worse if it isn’t handled with respect.

R has loaded up a nitrous balloon for me and a cone of good smoke with a small pinch of DMT on it.

*** Most DMT I have seen varies between being a Dark Red Wax to Pure White Crystalline Shards. The more waxy and red the more miscellaneous alkaloids in the mix. This can make the smoke very thick and hard to smoke, but comes with the benefit of having more active smokeable tryptamines in the vapours. The less colour in the DMT the more pure it is. Crystalline White DMT can also turn yellow over time when exposed to air and heat; it is easier to smoke and a much cleaner experience as compared to the resiny waxy DMT.

Z will sit this experience out... Being tentative and relatively a newcomer to DMT having mostly smoked 'Changa' and will opt to just enter the space with nitrous.

** Nitrous is a Dissociative Tool. The use of nitrous in conjunction with tryptamines is beneficial for loosening the energetic body. The Nitrous is used to shunt the energetic body out of its fixed position and then with the tryptamine enhanced conscious thought the psychonaut can manoeuvre the energetic vehicle for soul flight.

I smoke the Laced Cone and as soon as I breathe out the smoke I begin inhaling the nitrous.

**I believe the secret to prolonging the effect of nitrous on the energetic body is through correct breathing techniques... Experimenting with regulating the amount of CO2, N20 and Air etc..

I experience a melting sensation as the combined tools work their magick and I descend into a cave of swirling psychedelic cartwheels...very much like the poster that moves through optical illusions. The experience is only what I call a Surface level experience.. I am experiencing vivid hallucinations with eyes closed and I am aware of myself being in an altered time/space environment where different laws of reality apply...however I am not fully engaged in the experience...and I am not THERE and you know when you get there.

As I am in the bulb space, I vaguely hear R smoke her DMT and start inhaling the nitrous. Energetically I feel a warmth emanating from where she is sitting and I notice her presence entering the bulb space.

I come to baseline fairly quickly though the lingering effects of spiritual cleansing are there.

Shortly after this experience I ask R if I could have a bigger dose. I start to pack myself a cone and Z pipes up and says that we have made him very curious and would like to try some. R smiles and says “of course” and I grab the vial of DMT and measure out the dose. Z looks at me wryly but with trust and says “Don't punish me to much” before adding “I don’t mean you” to me. I give him a good dose roughly 25-30 mg

***This should be all that is needed for an entry level dose from fairly pure DMT, with less pure Extraction the amount could be up to 100mg.

I watch Z smoke his cone and sink into the couch, I smile knowingly and start to prepare my cone. I haven’t been very comfortable in my relationship with DMT for a while it seems to me that with continued use, a psychonaut will undergo many transitions in their relationships with their Shamanic tools... Tonight, I think to myself, I’m going to make peace with the spirit molecule. I sprinkle a significant amount onto the cone piece... Roughly about 50mg. I smoke the DMT, eager to join Z in the tryptamine realms.

For this next part I will write in italics:

***

The DMT comes on very subtle... There is no body load at all... On a very clear feeling of lightness and radiation beginning to spread from my solar chakra. I move very quickly through the early stages of DMT ascension... The veils of various realities peeling back very much like the chrysanthemum which is so highly regarded in DMT literature... And then I am there.

Where is here???

I see 4 blocks that have symbols inscribed on them...the blocks are made of a type of black gold. That is, it is black but also it is gold. The blocks are flaming and spinning in circular formation in an anti-clockwise direction. I watch as they all spin and click together in the form of a cross it forms a small rectangle opening in the middle which is black with gold running through it. Guarding the configuration i notice an eagle and a lion at two of the corners and I realise that they are 2 of the Elemental Archangels as talked about in western mysticism. When the blocks click together the back ground flames up and I feel like I have reached perfection. I realise this is the LOGOS that is so talked about in Gnostic and other paths. As I start to lose my objective view, the blocks begin to issue forth other blocks in complex spiralling emanations that vaguely resemble the merkabah and they fractal out in different patterns based on combinations of symbols. I try to stop the fractal of the LOGOS from spinning out of control and for a brief while I maintain the original 4 in perfect harmony. The intensity, however, is pushing me beyond this point and moves me down a spiral of coded blocks and I am then in a place.

I can still hear the psychedelic music in the background however it is now a tool of the tryptamine awareness. I am in a space which is made up of the spongy green/yellow energy that I mostly see under bulbs and DMT... It is a pliable background of tactile energy... And in this situation I sit back as a definite presence uses this tactile energetic interface to basically put on a show for me while it uses the energy of the psychedelic music coming from the stereo. After that the trip moves upward and outward and I am now suspended in the void and it feels like I am straddling the space. There is a thick cord of yellow/green energy which is inseparably plugged into what is usually the back of my head and there is also the sensation that I am plugged in at my back and where my arms and legs are. I feel like I have been here forever. There is a powerful, constant surge of highly concentrated energies being exchanged here. And a voice tells me that I am a hub, a focal point of consciousness energies and evolutionary force.... I notice in the distance that there are junction points which are blue balls...but I am unable to think of moving.... The site is to bizarre...the reality much to real and I have never seen this before... Maybe next time...

After seemingly being in the String suspension world for eternity... I begin the descent...and I am am spiralling down a Crystal Shaft and then I am back in my body.

I turn to my friend who looks at me and I say 'Did you see it??'

Thoughts on the Experience

While I have read my fair share about the Qaballah and its correlations it has never been a system to which I really devoted much time on. So it is interesting that I would have the experience described. After this experience I spoke to friends, one of them is studying an honours in theology and mysticism and they gave me the Golden Dawn and Enochian Magick books to look at.

The 4 blocks which are inscribed with symbols in the beginning (Probably what is called Angelic Language) Could be seen as what is know in the Qaballah as the “Tetragrammaton” or the 4 lettered word of God. YHVH. At the centre of the 4 is what is referred to by the Golden Dawn as the 'tomb of Christian Rosenkrutz' which really is an allusion to the Ark of the Covenant. When the 4 are put together it allows access to the Universal Mainframe. The Machine Code of All creation.

DMT and the Machine Code.

DMT is the backdoor programme, the interface between the living world and the machine. It is very much like the matrix and where they plug into a computer...the DMT is plugging us into the computer.

At the Centre of the Tetragrammaton is the Ark. The ark is the input device. After some thought on the matter..

The Machine Code and Enochian Magick.

If one takes a brief look at enochian magick we see that the principals act on the assumption that the Qaballah is the primary system. The universe is deconstructed into 4 Corners which is then divided into squares...each of the squares is inscribed. The symbols when arranged in different combinations are said to Invoke the Godform or Archetype associated with the rank of the deity or godform or Energetic Awareness. On the squares are godforms which seem to go in random directions over the tablet if the tablet is presented in 2D on paper view. However if one were to form the pieces in 3D space they would form spiral blocks.

My belief is that the LOGOS in the form of Tetragrammaton is the portal of the mainframe. The universal machine. The Qaballah allows us to understand the machine. The DMT gives us access to the machine. Hebrew and Sanskrit and Arabic are all obviously stylised from the Angelic Language that are inscribed in the firmament as Tetragrammaton.

The Ark of the covenant or the tomb of Christian Rosenkrutz is the Energetic Input Device through which we Enter Energetic Search Strings for Particular Machine Code in the Sum of Creation. Qaballah and Enochian Magic may reveal to us the Particular Search Strings that are required to be entered into the Ark so that particular feats of Magick Can be Accomplished.

The Experience in the Tactile Spongy green energetic space was “1 on 1” time between myself and the tryptamine awareness, a basic how’s it going and a performance... It danced with the spongy background and with the Shulman CD... It was the private personal lesson of the experience.

The Experience of being suspended in space is possibly really where I am and what I am made of. Floating truly in a sea of infinity...connected to my tactile world through connections with other people. The forces running through me are the forces that run through us all and bind us to this thread of existence... It is the matrix of creation and the very base level where we realise that it truly is an illusion. The Void.

The descent down the quartz crystal is new to me and seems to be a typical theme in many shamanic soul flight experiences... Particularly it seems the aboriginal beliefs of seqld and NNSW had  a lot of mythology around Quartz crystals and Soul flight.

Thanks for reading.

Any comments appreciated. Any insights into deconstructing and properly utilising the machine code the, please feel free to contact me.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 42167

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 29, 2005	Views: 34,101

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DMT (18), LSD (2), Nitrous Oxide (40), Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)