		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

Well I had wanted to LSD for many years but at no avail until I was 17 when I got some trips called snowflakes.

There was 3 of in the group (a 4th friend who had a trip was to meet us later) and at one of my friends houses we all took a trip each.

We kept it under our toungs for about 15 mins and then proceeded out to a forest/river area nearby to chill out with a few beers after about an hour we found the conversation level rose quite a lot and we seem to laugh a little more than normal but I was sure that they wernt gonna work. I mean they are only little bits of paper after all arnt they?

So 2 of us took another one to see what would happen..Shortly after it started raining which we were all mad about I was saying things like...darn its wet! we're in hole and the nights ruined but for some reason it was really funny!! As time went on everything just got funnier..The whole situation just seemed ridiculous. Us..a bunch of apes...in this forest...tripping our balls off on paper.

Well after the 2 hour mark we stopped in the middle of a cobbled passage way with a dim errie orange light in the middle. To our right was the main road and to our left was back to forest well the 3 of us stood around debating what to do. I said we had to meet our friend near the main road my other friend said we should wait or maybe go left the problem was as soon as we got serious about what to do we would burst out into laughter..

One of us would tell the other two to be quiet as he would atempt to explain what we should do..but as soon at he would get anywhere we would laugh histericly. It was like as the LSD kicked in, our mental ages dropped and dropped and an hour later we were still there deciding what to do....It was like we were stuck in a group repetitve thought of what to do.

We would keep going over the same ideas and laughing...it was like our brain power was being reduced. I would say something like

'Right ok so we wil go right and we gotta meet X'

and a friend would say

'no we cant becuase we have to go back to forest'

and I would agree....

then id say 'No but we gotta go right and we have to meet X'

and the same left....right...left...right thing went on and on in a big loop until finally our 4th friend turned up.

YES! we shouted...our scout leader!!! We danced around him hoping he would take us out of the loop conversation but he got dragged into it as well it was like none of us could just stay where we were...we couldnt settle.

It was like we had to do something but we didnt quite know what.... Any how after a bit we all dicided to stay put and 2 of us smoked a joint at the 3 hour mark which short term seemed to do nothing Now here comes up the part that makes my trip way outta the ordinary and more powerful an experience that most people have had. All four of decided to go right out to the main road.

When we did we came to a roundabout with a bright light in the middle as I started to walk round the light I started to spin round in what was like a circle and all my friends spiraled around me as i walked around the light It was like the bigest whack ever.. it was what i now call a time circle

Basicly as I walked round the light time seem to change to slower/ faster this would happen for a few seconds and then I would come back to normal then 2 mins later another circle would happen.

Well this really freaked me out and I started getting nervous and a little paranoid from my fiends who seem to be laughing at me a litttle it took me 20 mins just to try and get everyone off the dangerous road back into the safty of the forest...

Well when we back in the forest we all lay down in the grass to chill out (night time by this point) and I was still freaked out. When I closed my eyes I could feel and almost see the tall grass erriely leaning over my face and my friends who were still laughing really freaked me out. It was like instead of me finding everything funny I thought they were all laughing at me as if I had fallen into somesort of evil trap by taking the LSD.

Their laughter seemed to echo in my head and I was sure they were laughing at me. Shortly later I walked off with my friend down this path and time started to really distort and skip like a scratched CD. One minuite I would be somewhere on the path and in a split second I would be 10 metres further down the path. I believe this to be because the is no exxternal time. Time is all in the mind meaning the universe outside of your mind is non-linier. Jumping in time can be scary...It makes me feel all alone

As we were walking my friend reminded my of the movie called werewolf where some kids were walking along a path...

They were safe on the path but if they went off the path the werewolf got them. shortly after I was mubbling things like wheres safety? wheres safety? saftys on the path...If I stay on path I will be safe...If I go off the path the werewolf will get me. Well that was a mistake for a start...Basicly I limited my safty to the path I was walking along.

Very shortly after things started to turn into 2D and when I was walking along I was tring to climb through what was infront of me as if it were a painting... Then the wierd bit.  When ever I would run off the path I would run into circles of time. I would run off the path for a short time but would be gone in my head for hours and hours. It was like everything around me broke down into pieces in a big spiral as I ran off the path. It was like everything split into 2 then 4 then 8 then 16 then 32 etc. as I ran away from the path. When everything was in 32 pieces time would run 32 times slower than normal for me. Then hours or even days later after reaching numbers like 4096,I would run back out out of this circle/spiral faster and faster back to the path and ask how long I was gone. Just a few seconds they would say but for me it was a lot longer.

Then I started running into deep circles.....It was like being sucked in by a time cyclone of the mind...Like going down the plug hole in your mind...deeper and deeper

Trying to find the path or something?

At one point I ran into this circle and started to run out of it I think having seen the path and I started to shout IM ON THE PATH TO LSD! Then id get futher out the circle and I would feel this buzz then id run out faster and faster and this buzz of sheer euphoria would grow and grow until the high was like feeling all the love / exctacy in the world. I had found the path! It was like there was this path that I had to find and when I found it I would blow up with euphoria.

It would go higher and higher....It was like time was speeding up as I would run out of the circle... It was like some how on lsd I was runing in and out of time and getting extream emotions...like my soul was exploding with energy...Like I was running towards everything...GOD...safty...it was the biggest YES ever.

But after that I lost the path again and didnt know what the path was. Some time later in the night when the time circles stopped I suddenly thought shit ive got to pay the money for the acid to guy i got it off (I already had had done but I had to meet him earlier to pay him and paying him had been on my mind all night)

Suddenly I was walking down some road and he appeared as clear as ever infront of me. his hair...his eyes....everything about him was 100% acurate it was as is he was there....he said to me 'got the money?'

I got this money out (that i didnt even have) and gave it him Thing was this happen about 20 times, over and over again I kept paying this money.

Finaly that must of stoped but then the circle thing came back with a real temper.

I would run in circles again but this time there was something dark and nasty in the middle. A big black circle in the middle of everything. It was like there was a hole in everything and I kept being sucked into it.

Id be sucked faster and faster into this multi dimensional circle and my fear levels rose and rose as I got closer...

Id be pulled more and more and then this black bat would spiral down and the closer it got the more scared I got.

As the black bat was very near me I was feeling what could be described as all the fear on the planet...Absolute hell or infinite fear was meant to be at the centre.

Imagine the universal opposite of extream love/exctacy. Where you have lost the path.

I was running into (but never reaching) infinite fear...I was running from safty...perhaps I had strayed from the path again.

I was mubling things like I gotta find the time keepers......where are the timekeepers?

Then towards the end I was being torn betweed dark and light..

It was like I had to find the answer to everything. I had to  choose between dark or light being the answer to everything and my decision speed would go faster and faster until I would be making 100000 decisions a second.

Eventually what was like 3 months of psychological torture of being trapped in my own head later I came round....

I still to this day think that I tapped into the ability to experience infinite emotion on LSD. Those time circles could bring infinite fear or infinite euphoria they were like cylones of emotion...Any how heres the point. IN the middle of some circles it was like I didnt even exist but I had the answer to everything...but as I would come back out of the circles I would lose the idea of what was at the end of it.

It was like I got some sort of infinite joke at the end of it and I felt fine when I knew the joke but if id lose the joke I would be scared out of my mind.

I have looked back on my trip and am thankful for the knowledge it had brought me. I now realise we are all gods and the joke is that we are infinitly powerful and on the path to heaven/nirvana.

Exp Year: 1997	ExpID: 49927

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 4, 2006	Views: 5,872

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

 [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

A devious plan is hatched. Supplies must be rounded up, the safe house established and checked beforehand for intruders, phones unplugged, locks secured. I must leave word for everyone that may seek to intrude, that I won’t be home, that I won’t be available until further notice. Arrangements have to be made with a diligence necessary to preclude any unforeseen interruption. Past experience with paranoia dictates the need for absolute privacy. Any deviation from the plot can result in disastrous consequences. One does not dare run out of cigarettes. More on those goddamn things later.

I had spent all afternoon rounding up my conspirators, and even with prior notification, and the use of telephones, this can be difficult. Toni had to work, the poor bastard, that night at the bar he worked in, and Ronnie, did not have a phone and was asleep at 4:30 PM when I arrived at his house. This unemployed long haired white boy was always available for a Monday afternoon anything. He was prime pickings for a well laid plan.

The plan had been for me to pick him up, and we would bug out for the thirty-five mile trip to San Antonio in my turquoise Mustang. The V8 would come in handy when time ran short, and in the haste of a dedicated drug frenzy this could happen sooner than expected. Delays would see to that.

First Ronnie had to have beer. This was his domain. Large quantities of it would be procured with his expertise, and I don’t know how, he had no driver’s license, no ID, no chance of legally purchasing it, he was all of seventeen. Luckily the follicles of his unshaven face, and in those days the relatively low drinking age of eighteen, made it somehow manageable. By the second or third attempt, with me nervously chain smoking in the car, Ronnie emerged from a store with two cases, cursing me for not helping him carry it as he dumped it all into the back seat and issued the command for us to “jet.” Further stops (damnable delays) included pay phone calls to insure his grandmother, in fact, would be out of the house all weekend, it was there we would “trip.”  Also, we stopped for Ronnie’s tape collection, which when coupled with mine, netted us over a hundred albums of rock music; surely enough to help us through the difficult journey ahead, not to mention the rest of the night, which promised to challenge our senses at every turn.

A fallback position was my house, as my parents were away for a couple of days, but the modest residence was less desirable because of the eyes of neighbors who were fond of my parents and known to “watch” the house when they were away. Finally, after much wrangling, he issued the “thumbs up,” for use of his grandmother’s house. With no fan-fare we booked out of town for San Antonio, the Mustang’s triaxle JVCs blasting anthems from Deep Purple and Ozzy Osbourne. Ronnie was already drinking a beer, and I had tossed him my weed, so that he would begin rolling the short, tight “bombers” that smoked slow and lasted long. This he commenced on one of the cassette boxes from the back seat. We smoked one as he rolled more, “for later.”

Our connection in San Antonio lived in a predominately lower middle-class residential neighborhood. He was Hispanic, as was the entire neighborhood, and always seemed to have a crowd on hand. Objects in his home, as well as artifacts adorning the walls told us he was at least part Native American. Some of his hangers-on did not speak English, or chose not to, and our host alternated between Spanish and English. The whole neighborhood, it seemed, was full of acid heads, a drug preferred by them because of its low price. On previous visits we had found that our man usually had acid on hand, and often pot, but some times the scene would be “dry,” sending us away disappointed. This late afternoon we shot a couple games of pool on his table in the back room, a den of red lights and felt rock posters, where there were often casualties of the failed drug wars expunged by political leaders and police officials.

Our man had stepped away after asking how much we needed, and accepting the forty dollars I offered. He returned with ten hits as requested and I breathed a sigh of relief: The only remaining obstacle in our mission had dissolved revealing the framework for the “gnarly time,” in our plan. Ronnie separated two hits each for the two of us and offered two to the Indian, who ate his on the spot. Ronnie and I each took two hits and played another game of pool, and smoked a joint with the Indian and his other guests, before excusing ourselves, as we had to get back before the shit kicked in.

The madness begins

Upon reentering the car and making appropriate musical selections, we bugged out for the highway. We headed north, towards sanctuary, the stereo again blasting iconic songs of rebellious youth.

Soon Ronnie had his ass pointed at the windshield, wrestling with and cursing the mess of beer and cassette tapes in the back seat. “What in the fuck are you doing,” I asked.

“I thought you had some more sunglasses in here,” he said. He checked the glove box: No luck. “Mother fucker.” “Well you’re not getting mine.” I warned. Those Ray Bans wouldn’t leave my face for all the beer in the car, and he knew it. Planning. There is no substitute. I checked my watch. It had been forty minutes since we took the acid, and I wasn’t feeling anything yet; everything was cool, the only real concern was the fact we weren’t yet back in town, it was a few more miles yet.

About that time the steering wheel of the car seemed to elongate slightly. “What the fuck...?” I suddenly realized I felt a bit strange. Ronnie was switching tapes, we had voted between “Nazareth and Aerosmith. Nazz prevailed. He glanced over, “It’s rewinding.” He had guessed I was wondering why it wasn’t “jamming” already.

A highway sign came up, and I noticed simultaneously that it was five more miles to town, and that the sign was also displaying a streak of green that extended well past the sign and seemed to remain next to the car as we sped along. I increased speed to eighty: things were getting tight. I didn’t want to still be behind the wheel when all hell broke loose, and we had less than a quarter hour till that happened. I fired up another cigarette and saw I only had two left. How in the hell could this happen? “Did you see any more packs back there,” I shouted over the music. Ronnie looked at me again, but didn’t answer; he looked distracted, staring out the windshield. I said, “Well I’m going to have to stop, soon as we get there, I’m almost out.” My cohort shrugged, and then announced, “I’m not going in.” Crap be damned, it was getting serious now.

I whipped the Mustang smoothly into the first convenience store at the edge of town. By my guess we had only minutes and a few short miles to go before we could move indoors to hide. If we were caught by unforeseen circumstances and in any way diverted or delayed, we would be captured and boxed off to rehab faster than you can say, “One toke over the line.” Ronnie let out a “whoosh,” as he appeared to be winded by the thirty-minute drive and relieved to be there. His face looked tense, his jaw tight, I didn’t want to look at him. There was something wrong with the man. He didn’t look right. I stepped out of the car. There seemed to be a lot of chug holes in the pavement of the parking lot, I hadn’t seen them when I screeched in, but now they led all the way to the door. One could twist an ankle, or worse, in this goddamn obstacle course. I started forward, ignoring the loud laughter now coming from my car, it told me I was doing something funny, walking wrong perhaps, but I would deal with the madman in the car later, I had to make it inside.

Bad vibes at the counter

Once in the store, I was hit with a terrible feeling of, perhaps guilt, or remorse, I couldn’t be sure of which. I rushed the counter, but was blocked from it by something, yes someone, it appeared to be a  man, but as I drew closer, it was clearly not human, not quite. I had seen it before, in illustrations of early man in Anthropology textbooks. It was an early form of Australopithecus, or maybe just a Cro-Magnon, it appeared to be counting, (fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-five, was he counting that right?) and the change plinking on the counter did not appear to be American currency. What the fuck is happening in here, I thought. I was already desperate to leave, and here is some weird fucking activities going on. The clerk leaned on the counter watching the proceedings, glanced at me, and resumed his vigilance over the ape counting money.  The clerk's face was a twisted mask, and grotesque. It might as well have been attached by a rubber band strapped to his skull.

Suddenly I was at a complete loss as to why I was there, and only some forgotten desperation compelled me to stay. I struggled to remember, but couldn’t. I cowered behind the Ray Bans, at a loss to explain my presence. Suddenly it hit me, and in fact I did need a cigarette, one thing about a habit, it sticks with me despite myself. The animal cleared the way, shuffling out the door to presumably knuckle-walk to its car. I lumbered up to the counter.

“Cigarette! Red... Marlboro Reds!” I blurted, gripping the counter edge until my knuckles went white. There was a mass of cigarette packs on display behind the clerk, all makes, brands, colors darted all over the place: I couldn’t read what they were. The clerk hesitated. “You want a box or soft,” he said.

What? Oh god, what the fuck does he want? A box? Do I want a whole carton? Next he’s going to want me to sign something or fill out a questionnaire. I don’t have time for that.

“Not a box,” I said finally, and the clerk plopped a pack on the counter. I handed him what I was sure was two ones, and he handed back what was surely some Australopithecus change, hoping I wouldn’t notice. But I had him beat: I didn’t care if I received change: I had an emergency elsewhere to attend. I grabbed the Marlboro pack and fled: In my mind the clerk was producing his undercover police badge and demanding some ID for the cigarettes. I slid into the Mustang’s seat dropping the cigarettes onto the console, and fumbling with the ignition. Ronnie asked if I had seen a large ape running from the store, but I jarred the stereo volume knob next to the ignition key and flooded the car with Nazareth at top volume. Ronnie screamed, and lurched at the knob, bumping it back down. I drove us out of there, back on the road, flooring the car whenever feasible.  He asked if I had stolen the cigarettes.

Meltdown was under way. The steering will ballooned until it was far too big and out of round to drive comfortably. We made it to his grandmother’s house, and Ronnie eventually found the key hidden outside and let us in. He activated a portable stereo unit on the kitchen counter and tuned it to a San Antonio rock station, and turned it up. We secured the house, then peered outside to check the status of the Mustang parked there, and to see that the police weren’t responding to our presence.

I emerged from a bathroom break, during which I checked my face in the mirror. My eyes were saucerfied and I had a tense, menacing appearance. Best not to look in there again. I found Ronnie in the kitchen, in front of the refrigerator. He had it open and various objects from within were falling on the floor as he cursed and forced the rest of the beer from the car into it. He gathered what he dropped and returned it to the shelves. All this with one hand as he clenched an open beer with the other, it was foaming and dripping on the floor. Suddenly he set it on the floor, appeared to estimate his degree of balance, and slammed the refrigerator shut. “Goddamn, I bet it gets cold now! Do you want one?” He picked his up. “There’s cool-aid in there if you want that instead.” I opened the fridge and found the cool-aid. Red sugar water. I wouldn’t be ready for the beer for hours. I sipped from the container. This was the shit-phase. All we could do now was sit down, try to make ourselves comfortable, and wait for the real fireworks.

In the Vortex

The radio was going to be a problem. In fact, it already was. For one thing, I can’t have an unknown stranger playing DJ for you during all these sensitive moments, besides, who better than us knew what we needed. But as Ronnie unloaded an armload of tapes from the Mustang we soon realized that even the right music wasn’t ever going to sound right with the mediocre equipment on hand here, and we couldn’t move the Mustang’s stereo in here. For the time being we would try the TV, and we knew this would be only a temporary solution for the time being if at all. I surfed through some channels, but we were getting nowhere. I remember saying it would be a fucking miracle if something was on. Ronnie remembered some tapes he recorded on previous visits, and a miracle was at hand.

He had a movie we both wanted to see, “The Vanishing Point”  I knew the synopsis: A speed crazed pill head tries to break some kind of land speed record with a hotrod 1970 Dodge Challenger, by driving it nonstop from LA to Las Vegas, in defiance of all imposed laws in between. A good guy, someone we could root for. It would be a football game of road trips. That was the ticket. I pressed “play,” on the VCR.

I can’t remember all of the diversions of the movie; it was a manic ride that I felt in my bones, at my core, the physicality of the car, the road, the racing. Insane laughter bouts. The movie played out in the room, overstepping the bounds of the TV, it involved the house itself, the roar of engines and sirens compelled us to occasionally check outside, to see that the coast was still “clear.” The white Challenger at times, was the only thing I could recognize, as it howled along, through dense jungle and under brush that grew out of the set and covered the floor of the house. In reality the driver was driving through desert, but I couldn’t tell. It all was happening all around, the TV only the main vortex of the harrowing plot. Hours of hysteria, manic laughing, I would have some sore fucking ribs when this was over, that’s for sure. It was a roller coaster of ludicracy, an intangible confused mental reasoning that moved too fast to keep up with.

We held on to the movie with a death-grip, living it. At times I couldn’t remember what we were watching. It didn’t seem to matter; it had a continuance that kept us going, alive and excited, deliriously thrilled vicariously through a character we could somehow relate to. A hero blazing his way to infamy in a really cool car, to hell with cops, he couldn’t hear no stinkin’ sirens.  Somehow we missed the mind-fuck they had  set up for us: I’m pretty sure we were both having a laughing fit when he crashed the Challenger into the bulldozer road-block the cops had set up, and died. No worry. He was a hoot while he lasted.

    “HEY!” Ronnie bellowed, “That mother fucker crashed my goddamn car!”

   “Collect the insurance, we’ll get a better one!” I suggested.

   “The bastard is hamburger, or I’d kill his ass.”

   “He’s cooked on his own grill, leave that fucker alone.”

We went outside after smoking another bomber and stood in the yard. It was dark outside by then, but I could make out the unmowed grass. It suddenly looked like there was miles of garden hose, all looped up and strung all over the yard, even obscuring from view the yard itself. Laughing, I told Ronnie, “Your grandmother sure has a lot of water hose.”

“She sure does!” he returned, staring into it and evidently fooled by my suggestion.

As I looked, the hose turned into coils of ribbon, having somewhere lost a dimension. A nearby pear tree looked like a hand, sticking out of the ground with extra fingers; it was a goddamn circus out there. We retreated into the house, to laughing fits about things we couldn’t articulate. There were many avenues, hundreds of venues, just no way to keep up, or remember them as they passed.  The mind fuck would go on and on, with few respites, and usually during these we would smoke, or drink, or both. On some plateaus, I liked to drive, at night it was very serene, calming. The stereo I had in the mustang really paid off then, live concert sound during an intensely perceptive time when MY brain is attuned to it can be quite the moving experience.

Exp Year: 1985	ExpID: 41403

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 5, 2006	Views: 6,532

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LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   90 lb

It was July, in the summer of 2004, when I first tried acid.  I had been using ecstasy, shrooms and speed for about a year, though neither at the time of this trip.  The town I lived in at the time is not well known, except for its weed and summer raves, one of which is where my first acid trip began.

It was Friday afternoon, and there was a rave that my boyfriend, B and I were planning on going to that night.  We knew how to get in for free, which was good as we had no spending cash, but I decided I wanted to try acid, which he had done three times before and I had never tried.

Living in a small town, however, doesn't offer many ways of making money let alone in the time frame I had.  So I had resigned myself to going and having fun without drugs, unless I had an opportunity to get some for free.  But while I was at home, I got a phone call from a friend, C asking if I could babysit her soon-to-be-two year old, and seeing this as a way to pass the time before the party I said sure.

I got to her mom's house around noon, said goodbye to her and proceeded to watch TV while the baby slept.  By the time 1 rolled around, I was bored and the baby showed no signs of waking.  She had fallen asleep just before I got there, and generally took three hour long naps which made for a boring time, so I phoned B while I searched the cupboards for food.

After I had tried several times and got no answer, the baby finally woke up so I got her ready to go out for a walk.  The walk turned into a journey, and we didn't get back until 2:30.  Shortly after we got back, her mother phoned to ask if I could babysit until 4, which I could.  Another boring hour and a half later, C finally showed up to pick the baby and I up.

I asked C to drop me off at B's house, to see if he had any luck in making some cash, she agreed and then reached into her purse and handed me a $20 for babysitting.  Awesome, thanks so much.  Looking back, I'm sure she knew about the rave all along and had planned this in advance.  So she dropped me off at B's house, where he was sitting outside smoking a joint.

I joined him and waved my money at him, grinning ear to ear.  Suddenly, the rave was looking a lot more fun.  While I had been gone, B had talked to M and S and they wanted to come to the rave also.  So now we needed a ride, unless we were going to split up and hitch hike in pairs.  B told me not to worry about it, he would figure something out.  So I went to my house just down the road to get ready.

Had a shower, did my makeup and my hair.  Being the only girl in the group, I'm always the one having to think ahead so I loaded a backpack up with a couple coats (the rave was on a beach) some chips and bottles of water.  Then I socialized with my parents until 6:30, when it was time for me to go to S's house and meet up with everyone.

Got to S's house a few minutes late, but it wasn't a big deal.  Everyone was just sitting around smoking.  Of course, I was excited about getting acid at the rave, so I asked M and S if they too were going to join in.  Neither of them had any cash, but S said he might have some inside his room.  He left to check it out, and knowing M had no way of getting money I told him I'd buy him a hit, assuming the acid was only $5 and as B was going to do 2 hits.

S came out shortly after with seven dollars in change, went to his mom's car and rummaged around in there, eventually coming up with another 5 bucks.  M told him I was going to buy him a hit, and S said he would do the same for M, who is well over 6 feet tall and everyone assumes bigger means more drugs are needed.

S had also asked his mother to give us a ride, and she agreed, so we all piled into the car.  We left at 6:50, and the rave is way out in the middle of nowhere, 'secret location' rave that nobody is supposed to know about unless they are in the know.  We didn't get there until 7:30, after being stopped by the police once and told to empty backpacks, coat pockets, etc. etc.  Luckily S's mom is convinced we were good kids and being in good standing with everyone in the community, was able to convince the police we were just some innocent kids out for a drugfree, harmless good time.  The weed was safe.

Mothers always seem to worry, so S's mom insisted that if we hadn't found a ride home by six in the morning she would pick us up where she dropped us off.  S, seeing the wisdom in her words, agreed, we said goodbye and started our trek along a cliff to get into the rave without having to pay.  That took another 15 minutes, but the party had barely started.

We immediately secured ourselves a spot against some bushes, where some logs had been placed to make seats.  This was to be our 'home base' during our night, as well as the logs on the opposite side of the bush facing the ocean.  Now that we were inside, M and I unpacked my backpack and stuck the coats in at the bottom, the water on top and started eating from the bags of chips I had brought.

As it got later, more and more people began to arrive, and the ones we knew would come over to see what our plans were for the night.  At 8:30, one of the DJ's finally started their set.  Somebody had set up these cloth things beside the stage, and projectors were aimed at them with trippy visuals and the such.  It wasn't bad for an outdoor rave nobody was supposed to know about.  By this point in time, there were probably 300 people milling about, with a dozen or so kids under 10, most of them dancing.

Now that people had begun to arrive, we all split up to talk to different friends, agreeing to meet back at home base at 10.  B had all the money and was in charge of locating the acid.  I met up with S, C and J and we headed out to the beach, where people were coming in with their boats to party.  We met some people who had came from Vancouver in a houseboat, which was sort of cool.  We probably talked to them for about half an hour, and then the next hour was spent shuttling between groups of people, C's truck and the beach.  At 10, I left to meet the people I had arrived with.

I got back to our log to find A had joined our group, but B was nowhere to be found.  M informed me he was talking to P about, as he put it, 'the hookup' which A was very interested in hearing about.  M filled him in on the details, and A was impressed that S, being his age, should be hanging out with kids who actually did acid.  Nobody bothered to inform him that it would be our first times.

S left to go buy a hot dog from a hippie who had set up some sort of shop thing, just as B was heading back with a forlorn expression on his face.  He informed us P had lost half his hits and therefore was charging twice as much as normal-$10 a hit.  As S and I were the only ones with money going towards it, he wanted to know if we were still down.  S came back and discussed it with B, and although we felt bad that M would be left out of the fun, we agreed to go ahead.

B went back to P, made the deal and came back with three hits of acid on tiny pieces of paper.  We all sat down on the log, and B told us he had heard if one sucked on the paper for several minutes before swallowing it, the high would be 'better'.  I doubt this has any truth to it, but having never done acid before I decided to try it.  So B and I sat there sucking on pieces of paper, watching people dance.  It has a taste, not altogether unpleasant but unlike one I have ever experienced before or since.  After five or so minutes, B said 'OK, swallow,' to which S replied 'Swallow what?'  'Your paper!'  S informed us he didn't know he wasn't supposed to swallow it in the first place, and that was that.

Now 10:30 has rolled around, and its dark.  There is a fire going off in a corner, and a girl wearing black clothes with flames on them is dancing around.  Sometimes it seems like she is on fire, which amuses M especially.  We probably watched her for ten minutes, until J came over and told us he had just snorted two hits of E and was rolling, having done three more before that.  B tells him he's an idiot and to leave us alone, J gets offended and leaves.

The music is starting to get better, after the DJ's have switched, and we decide to go sit on the beach and wait for our high to kick in.  We bring along our water and coats, as its getting cold.  B and I cuddle up next to each other, M sits down beside me.  S insists on standing beside the log.  We are all watching out over the water.  Some boats are driving around, and one of them has blue and green lights on the front.  As I watch it, in the dark, the blue and green lights seem to detach themselves from the boat and start coming towards us.  Focusing in on them, I notice dark shapes in the water which seem to be climbing up out of it.

I don't feel high, but what are these shapes?  I tell myself they must be rocks jutting out of the water, but they are getting closer and closer, and the blue and green light seems to be moving further away.  If I am high, everyone else must be too...except for M.  So I ask him if he sees what I see.

He informs me that they are aliens coming out of the water.  I tell him to shut the fuck up, and he turns his voice up into an extremely high pitch and starts making odd squealing noises at me.  I keep telling him to shut up, which he will not do.  Its starting to scare me, I think I actually wanted to be scared and brought it on myself.  But I start to cry, and B and S start to laugh hysterically at me as Michael continues his squealing noises.

I turn back to the ocean and try to tune Michael out, but the shapes are coming out of the water!  I grab B and he hugs me as S laughs even harder and finally tells me, 'Its just people that were swimming.  I've been watching them the whole time, they came off that boat.'  Now I'm pissed off that S knew and let me be scared, but its sort of funny too.  S gets up and tells us he's going back towards the fire, B asks if he's tripping and S says no.  He leaves.

A few minutes later, I feel something on my hand.  I freak out and jump up, and M jumps up too.  B asks us what we're flailing about, and M tells him there are bugs on the log.  B jumps up, and shines a light, and sure enough bugs are EVERYWHERE.  Although normally I would be disgusted, I think its sort of funny, and we move around the bush to our original log.

S and A see us and come over.  S sits down beside me and gives me a look I know very well, the I-think-we've-been-ripped-off look.  I shoot it back at him, and we sit together on the edge of the log huffy.  Anything that takes over half an hour to work, we assume will not work at all.  B notices our attitudes and asks if we thought we got ripped off.  Not knowing anything about acid, we're reluctant to say no, but S does say 'It sure is taking its sweet ass time to work.'  B laughs and tells us to wait for three hours, and we'll be laughing at ourselves.

Thats about the time M notices there are bugs on this log too, so we move once again.  We go to the dancefloor, all the kids have vacated finally.  We push and shove through the people, talking to random people we don't know, until we're out of the crowd.  Looking back out over the people, I start to feel claustrophobic and say, 'lets get out of here.'  Everyone agrees with me, and we head to a suspended bridge, leading to the ticket booth.  S leads us onto the bridge, gets halfway across and just stops.

We all stop after him.  Looking around, it seems like the bridge isn't part of this rave scene...its so calm, and peaceful, there are only the original 4 of us with no outsiders.  Having been kicked out of our original two locations by bug infestations, we decide this is where we want to spend our time.  Of course, the bridge being just that, soon enough people are struggling to get across and around us, which makes us feel uncomfortable.  We go towards the ticket booth, where nobody bothers us.  But we don't like it, so we head back to the rave and hang out for a while longer.

I finally look at my watch at 11:30.  M sees me looking at my watch and asks what time it is, so I tell him.  S and B overhear us talking, and we exchange glances.  I don't remember any words being spoken, but it seems like we all mutually agreed to start heading back home, we felt uncomfortable where we were.

We go back across the bridge, past the ticket booth.  Say goodbye to the people scattered about that we know, and start the long trek uphill towards the vehicle parking area.  The walk is very vertical, and its sort of muddy even though it hasn't rained in weeks.  We get about halfway up and stop, listening to the music and the occasional shout from people down below.  Someone wonders aloud if we should go back, but B tells us if we start that we will be wandering back and forth all night, lets just finish what we started.

Once we begin walking again, J comes flying down the hill.  He sees us and comes over, and starts laughing hysterically at us for leaving so soon.  He then proceeds to tell us that he's done 8 hits, he thinks his brain is fried and he just shit all over the side of the cliff we had snuck into the rave from.  He goes into rather graphic detail and makes us all laugh hysterically, and then says peace.

We make it to the parking area, finally, and rest under the power lines.  There are four huge thick cables above our heads, and looking up I feel as though they will snap and fall on us, there being one wire for each of us.  S feels the same way, and we are leery about being under them but feel moving would be cheating somehow.  The wires hum and comfort us.  I'm exhausted and want to sit down, but nobody will let me.  Nobody is coming, and B is telling us maybe we should go back after all, it doesn't look like we'll get a ride anytime soon.

Just as he finishes saying that, firecrackers are set off beside a truck.  Somebody screams up the hill not to light firecrackers, we don't want to burn the rave down and kill everybody.  Two doors slam, the truck starts up and heads our way.  It stops just before us, and G pops his head out to ask if we need a ride.  We say sure, but he tells us we have to sit in the back of the truck as its only a 3 seater and J and A are already in the front seats.

We all pile into the back of the truck, and start our long trek back.  Its ten to twelve. Its really fun, to be in the back of his truck out in the wide open.  G drives fast, and we skid around a few corners.  I am watching S, and around one particularly dangerous corner I see his mouth go open wide.  I start to laugh, but then realize we could have flipped the truck and the four of us would have been dead.  It sobers me up, but after a few minutes doesn't seem real.

G lives a few miles away from our houses, so he drops us off at his place at 12:15.  He offers to let us stay at his place, but we say we want to go home.  That seems to be the most important thing right now, GOING HOME.  He apologizes for not driving us home, but he too wants to be in his own bed, and we don't mind.  Start walking down the road.

We probably walked for ten minutes before the first car went by, and we didn't bother to try and hitch a ride.  We wanted to walk the whole way home ourselves, which would be exhausting normally but we didn't even think about it.  We came to this stretch of road, where one side had been clearcutted except for a single tree.  As we walked by, I stared at the tree.  It looked like it was spiralling upwards, and I could clearly see something climbing it.  M noticed me staring at something, asked me what and I said the tree was tripping me out.  M stared as we walked along, noticed it too, and pointed it out to S and B.

After we passed the spiralling monkey tree, as we named it, we came to a yard where a banana tree was growing over the fence.  I told S to grab me a leaf, which he did.  By this point he was wearing my backpack, so he stuck it between the backpack and his back and ran down the road hollering like an Indian.  We laughed hysterically as he ran back and forth until we got to a corner.  As we walked under the third streetlight we came to (most of the road doesn't have lights) it seemed to turn blue, and then went out completely.  B told us to get out from under the light before we got cancer, so we ran away from the evil light.

Around this corner is a hill, and at the bottom of the hill lays a store with a pop machine out front.  We had exhausted our water supply sometime before and needed a pop, but had no change left.  S said he had heard if someone unplugged a machine and plug it back in it gives them a free pop, so the three boys decided to try that.  I was somehow sure it wouldn't work, and so walked off by myself heading back home.  Once I got to a corner though I stopped, because I didn't want to be out of their sight.

I had been waiting a few minutes when M came running out towards me, holding a pop in his hand.  He gave me the bottle and I took a huge swig, and then asked how he got it.  He stuck his hand up and wiggled his fingers and I laughed.  S and B came running out with another bottle of pop, both were Sprite, and we started walking chugging our two bottles.  By the time we got to the preschool, which is only a three minute walk away, the pop was gone.

I wanted to go play on the preschool equipment, but nobody else would join me so we continued.  Past the firehall, two minutes after the preschool is a bridge, and then a restaurant which at the time was just being built.  We got to the restaurant, and there was a huge pile of bricks sitting outside of the building.  We stop and stare at the bricks.  B says, 'maybe we should steal those bricks.'  We were all thinking the same thing, but once he voiced it aloud we realized how ridiculous that would be.

'Why would you want to take those bricks?  The police station is right across the street!'  I tell him.  He shrugs.  'I dunno.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.'  S laughs at him, calls him an idiot and goes skipping along the road, singing Metallica.  We pass the cop shop and a schoolbus, and a few empty buildings but feel no need to steal or defile them in any way.

There's another steep hill coming up, and S is already at the top when we are just a third of the way up.  S disappears, but then comes racing back to ask B how he would get all those bricks up this steep hill.  B pretends not to hear him, and the three of us make it up the hill finally.  S is nowhere to be seen, so we keep walking until we get to the community hall.

As we finally get there, M wonders aloud where S is.  We hear S then, at the tennis courts, climbing the fence.  M goes to get him.  A few minutes later, all is quiet but nobody is reappearing.  B and I go to investigate, and find them standing outside of the clinic with huge smiles on their faces.  I know they want to break into the clinic and steal the pills and I agree.  B's already took part in that same activity several times and tells us firmly no.  Three against one, we whine at him but we know we wouldn't do it anyways.

Start walking down Pine Street, towards the trail that leads to S's house.  As we are walking, a streetlight at the end of the road is also flickering a strange bluish hue.  As we get to it, it goes out also.  We take this opportunity to run under it, remembering the last 'evil blue light' we came across, and now we are in the trail.  Somehow we've lost all lighters and flashlights we had, so we take this in the dark.

B tells us to follow him and promptly walks into a tree.  M, S and I walk around him and get out safely, but B is still in there tweaking.  I get impatient and yell at him to get out, he yells back that he's taking a piss.  As we are standing outside of S's driveway, I ask him what he's doing.  He doesn't know, but wonders if he can hang out with us.  Of course he can, I tell him, and M replies he is going home to bed.  We say alright, we'll walk you home.  Start walking, get to the corner and B comes flying out of the trail yelling for us to wait up.  We don't.

Walking up O street, M's house is on the corner of C street and O street.  C street is where B and I both live.  M is acting really grumpy, but S and I chalk it up to the fact that we are all high on acid and he is straight.  Say goodbye to M at his driveway, and B finally catches up and grabs my hand like I'm a little kid.  He leads us to his house, where luckily his dad is gone for the night.  He lets us in, nobody is home.  We go into the kitchen, B says he has to check something and disappears into the bathroom.

I grab a bottle and fill it up with water, bring it to S and fill up another for myself.  We sit down at the table facing each other, drinking water.  Bill blows his nose from in the bathroom, and we start laughing hysterically and spew water all over the carpet.  Bill comes out and sees us laughing like that, looks at the clock.  Its 1:15.  'I told you guys you'd be laughing at yourselves in three hours,' he gloated.

B disappears.  S is staring at a wall.  I wait for him to say something to me, but he is entranced.  I finally ask him whats up, and he tells me to look at the picture.  So I do.  The picture is of a girl standing in the middle of a field of poppies.  The poppies are spinning and breathing, and the girl is dancing.  Its really intense, and S and I both simultaneously get up to see the picture closer.  We stand there together until we hear B yelling, 'get up here!' from upstairs.  Its 1:23 and we go upstairs, into the dark.  I get up first, and shout 'Where are you?'  There are no lights anywhere.  S comes up and flicks a lighter he found downstairs, and we make our way to D's room.

A blue light is coming out from under the door, and we want to know what it is.  Open the door, and B is sitting on the couch, with the TV on.  We're supposed to watch a movie, he tells us.  So we all kneel down and look for movies.  S says he wants to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I want to watch Pink Floyd's The Wall.  B listens to us bicker for several minutes, then pops a movie in.  S and I shut up and sit down, pull a blanket over ourselves.  The movie comes on, its porn.  S and I get pissed off and yell at B that we don't want to watch this gay shit, and we all argue over what to watch once again.

B finally gets pissed off at the way things are turning out and screams at us that if we are going to fight we can just watch blue.  So we watch the blue TV screen for a long time.  It doesn't do anything.  S is finally disgusted with B's lack of letting us watch anything, and says he is leaving.  B says fine like he is mad at him.  I tell S we'll walk him home, S says ok.  B says he isn't walking S anywhere and I can just stay there with him, cuz S will be ok.  I say no, this is his first time on acid he doesn't need to be wandering around by himself.  S and I leave.

Once halfway down the driveway, I realize I forgot my coat.  Go back inside to get it and B grabs me, but I push him away and say I need my coat.  I grab it and run back out the door to S and B yells at me that if I am going to run away and fuck S I can stay away.  S laughs at that, and we go off to his place.  I walk S to his corner and say goodbye, and as I am walking up the hill I see someone.  For some reason I think its M, but it is B coming to walk me back to his place.

We go inside and watch more blue.  Its nice to just sit there on the couch with him, and not have to talk, just enjoy what is going on.  At three, we finally decide to go to bed.  B no longer has a room in this house and lives at mine, but we don't want to go there so we sleep in his sister's room.

K's room has pictures everywhere, and I am amazed by them.  I spend the next three hours wandering around her room, looking at everything.  B is just lying in bed, I don't think he's having a good trip but I don't care about him for once.  I finally go and sit with him when the sun starts to rise.  He tells me he doesn't feel good, so I rub his back.  For some reason, I can tell through the way his back feels how he is feeling.  We lay in bed together.  I'm not really high anymore, but I can't fall asleep.  B is pissed off that he hasn't slept all night, he keeps on yelling about it.

Usually I don't handle staying up all night that well, but this time I know I just have to stay calm so B can get through it, that is all that matters.  He keeps on saying his dad will be home soon and he can't be in the house, FUCK!  That is how he says it.  Somehow we fall asleep, around 7.  Wake up at 9, and his dad is home so we know we are going to get in shit.  B goes downstairs and talks to his dad, comes upstairs and gets me up and ready to go to my place.  He says he'll be there shortly.

I go home and have a shower so I feel better.  Go downstairs and get changed into PJ's, then back upstairs to get some orange juice.  I sit on the couch and watch The Today Show with my parents.  They ask me how the rave was, I say fine.  How'd you get there, how'd you get back, where'd you stay, when did you get there.  I answer all the questions in a neutral tone, normally I'd get angry at them.

As I'm sitting on the couch, I feel detached from myself.  I can feel, not see myself talking to my parents like I am an outsider, watching a different family's morning.  Its a different perspective, and I have this sort of detached feeling for the rest of the day.  Even now to this day, over a year after the fact I still have the ability to put stuff aside and look at it like its not happening to me, which never ceases to amaze me and I give full credit to acid.  Its definitely remarkable.

On a different note, a few days after this adventure I talked to S about what he did after getting home.  He said he got home and went to the bathroom, and as he was standing there the tiles and walls appeared to be moving around him.  This disturbed him and he went to bed right after, and fell asleep immediately.  A few hours later, around 4, he woke up went to the bathroom and puked.  I've never heard of this happening to anyone else, but it happened to him which was strange I thought, and he never mentioned anything other than that it was fun and he'd try it again sometime, but apparently it didn't have the same effect on him as it did me.

For me, it was an awesome experience that I'm glad I had.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 47273

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 9, 2006	Views: 10,678

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Police / Customs (60), LSD (2) : Rave / Dance Event (18), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 4 shots
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard

		 2 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 2 glasses
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine

		 2 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		 4 drops
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

Okay this is a long one. I'll start off by saying that I'm very experienced in the use of LSD among many other drugs. I'm 30 and I started experimenting with drugs in the late 80's. By the time I was 14 I had been smoking weed, eating acid and mushrooms, and snorting coke a few times a month. My drug of choice had always been LSD. During my 4 years of the military (USMC) I ate lots of LSD. There were times when I'd eat 10-20 hits all at once and would trip for a whole weekend. I did it mainly because it was cheaper than other drugs and it apparently rarely showed up in a urinalysis.

Anyways, I've had many bad trips in the past that were like God tapping me on the shoulder telling me I need to stop but I ignored the suggestions time and time again. This time was a punch in the face in comparison. I made fun of anyone who said they had an experience like this thinking they were just 'weak-minded' or already crazy. Little did I know, I was about to experience my own horrifying and near death experience. This is where I saw an image of God turning his back on me and letting one of Satan's demons have his way with me for a while to teach me a lesson that I apparently needed.

It was 12-31-2004. I went to a club with my best friends and had a few RedBull Vodkas and a roll (mdma). I had the most wonderful time. I heard great music, danced my ass off, met a beautiful girl and went home with her. We had a great time and never went to sleep that night. The next morning I went over to my best friend's (we'll call him A) house to continue celebrating the New Year while mixing records and stuff. My other best friend (we'll call him P) came over with some wine. We smoked a couple bowls and drank a couple glasses of wine. Then I ate my 2nd pill. This was around 10am. We were contemplating how perfect our New Year's Eve went and were looking forward to our New Year's Day. Someone suggested we eat acid. I forgot that I had a vial I brought over from San Diego a couple months prior. P had grabbed it for me when he grabbed the wine.

Now I had several friends (including P) who had taken this acid a couple months prior and said it was very mild. They each took 4 hits but they were taking 1 or 2 hits at a time. I had the vial in the freezer the whole time it was in my possession. I had taken the vial out of the freezer and brought it with me when I moved to Colorado.

So, let's get back to the scene. I hadn't taken this particular acid but based on the reaction of my friend's who'd taken it before I figured it wasn't that strong so I ate 4 drops at once which was not uncommon to me in years past. A and P ate 3 drops. We all had been feeling great from partying the night before and were looking forward to an excellent trip. Now normally someone who eats acid might end up partying all night long but this was the first time I'd partied all night long and then decided to eat acid. So, the factors contributing to my experience with this acid were sleep deprivation, dehydration, malnourishment (hadn't eaten in almost 24hrs), ecstacy, weed, vodka and wine.

The acid hit me 10 minutes into it which seemed unusually fast. This was about 11am. It came on extremely stronger than usual. The good feelings I had from everything else I was on went away and things were feeling less and less enjoyable as time went on. The visuals were uncontrollably vivid and amazing but no more than some other intense trips I'd had. I started to get sick to my stomach so I went and puked in the bathroom but had nothing to puke out. Shortly after, P puked. I continued my vomiting with nothing coming out. I started to get tired from my stomach muscles contracting for about a half hour. By 11:30am I was tripping extremely hard but was feeling like I needed to take a nap which was really unusual for me. A and P kept asking if I was alright. I said 'Yeah, I just need to rest.'

So I went to sleep (so I thought) and had the craziest nightmare of a shadow demon trying to take over my body and making me speak a different language that I could understand at the time. I was dreaming that my best friends were trying to beat me and/or rape me. I was partially blind the whole time. I could only see things in my peripheral vision. It was horrifying. I kept trying to get up and run for my life while inside A's apartment. I felt like they were holding me down and were trying to take my clothes off. I was constantly fighting this shadow demon trying to take back my own body. Sometimes I'd succeed and was able to see and understand what my friends were saying temporarily and then the demon would pull me right back out of my body. I would look down at myself watching me scream and see my body contort in weird positions. I kept screaming 'WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!', 'PLEASE MAKE IT STOOOPPP!!!' and 'SOMEBODY HELP MEEE!!!' as loud as I could over and over again thinking no one could help me or hear me and that I was left alone to deal with this demon and these two individuals who resembled my best friends that were trying to do unspeakable things to me.

So I finally awoke from that horrible nightmare. I was laying down in a bright unfamiliar room. A blurry vision of a woman approached me and I asked 'What happened?' The nurse replied 'You're in the hospital.' It was late afternoon the next day. My forehead was hurting but I couldn't move. My arms and legs were strapped down to the hospital bed. She unstrapped me and I reached to feel my head and it was swollen. She gave me a mirror and I could barely recognize myself. I looked like sloth from 'Goonies'. Apparently throughout the whole nightmare I was fighting and thrashing about. I ran into the corner of a metal beam in the apartment trying to get away from whatever was trying to harm me and I cracked my skull causing my head to swell. There were numerous slices and puncture wounds up and down my arms, legs, and shoulders from all the broken glass caused by my actions. The nurse said 'I knew you weren't really a violent person.' I didn't realize that I had done anything. She said I was screaming, cursing, and trying to fight the cops and paramedics the whole time.

She removed the IV's and the catheter from my penis which was very uncomfortable. My wrists were in pain and cut up from trying to break free from the handcuffs. I was naked because I'd ripped my shirt off with one hand and the medics had to cut my jeans off of me for the IV's and stuff. I had completely destroyed A's apartment. There were holes in the walls from my head and fists. I broke the sliding glass door and a closet door by running right through them. I tried to jump off the balcony from the 2nd floor but didn't succeed. A's records and dj equipment were scattered everywhere and all his drinking glasses were broken from me falling and thrashing around on top of them. They told me that my eyes were the opposite of being dilated. He told me my pupils were like pin needles and almost non-existant. He said I had a blank stare with the look of extreme fright the whole time as if my soul was missing from my body. They said at times I'd speak odd jibberish that made no sense to them and my voice was so different that they couldn't believe it was me they were witnessing during this whole ordeal. P mentioned my body was maneuvering in awkward ways like I was trying to bend backwards to break my own spine or something. It freaked the shit out of both of them so much they finally decided to call 911. Thank God.

I thought I knew it all about LSD. It doesn't matter if you're the least or the most experienced person with this drug. We're all susceptible to horrible consequences. I was in a very comfortable and familiar setting with two of my best friends in the world. I no longer do that drug and have a $15,000 medical bill for 18hrs in the emergency room. I've got permanent scars all over my body and bad memories that will never go away.

I wish I could accurately describe what I went through but no words exist that can do that. Please be careful.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 46911

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 13, 2006	Views: 14,652

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Multi-Day Experience (13), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Hospital (36)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis - Hash
		 (tar / resin)

		   T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 3:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   174 lb

For the longest time I've been reading about LSD and its effects. It interested me and kind of scared me at the same time. Finally after some time a friend of mine got me a hit, my trip wasn't planned for that day, I knew we are about to get a hit and I was ready to do it very soon.

Friday night I gave him a visit. I thought we are about to just smoke, but he surprised me and gave me a small hit of acid. I thought 'what the hell' and took one 1/2 of the hit.

1:00 A.M - I kept the hit for a long time on my tongue, just sucking on it. We were listening to some techno and smoked some hash to just waste some time till the acid kicks in. it had a bitter taste, not unbearable though.

2:15 A.M - still nothing. I was just waiting and wondering when it will kick in. and the past hour I started feeling more energized.

3:00 A.M - no visuals. Still energized, feeling stiff all over my body, especially in the back and neck area, and later on the back of my head. Which is the visual part of the brain. I could really feel parts of my brain opening up and waking up to life.

Felt warm all over, like fever. Giggling and laughing, and more ambition to talk.

4:00 A.M - still no visuals. It was very hard to spot any effects. Still stiff. I had a feeling like something is cooking inside me and ready to just EXPLODE outside any second. Around 4:20 A.M  I could notice that thoughts were running around my head more and more. I mostly thought about how I should let go and let the trip start, and I was concerned what if nothing will happen. We decided I should take the other 1/2 because I don’t feel anything yet. My body was not stiff anymore, and now instead of that I had some kind of a new feeling all over. Objects felt different. In the corner of my eyes I could see bright lights. My head just did not feel the same. At this point I was sure I’m tripping. The visuals started to kick in. I was looking at the wall while the room was dark, it had glowing start stickers all over it, they were moving around the wall, looking kind of alive. When I looked at his cat the shapes on her were moving randomly into other shapes and colors, the whole room seem to be somehow alive and breathing. Talking, standing and moving felt weird.

5:25am - Still no strong visuals. I was more aware to the whole body sensation. I knew that once it will be morning I will trip harder, and the thought of watching the sunshine right on the peak of the trip got me very exited. My friend called a cab for me and I was on my way home. In the cab I was very talkative and tried to open conversation with the driver, but he did not respond, which made me wonder if I was talking at all. I kept looking out side at the trails from the side of the car, and the street lights that were very strong and a bit colorful. He dropped me near my house, and I walked from there to the woody area near my house. It was still dark, around 5:30am. I set on a bench and just looked around, amazed to notice things are not as usual. The trees seemed to be alive, looking at me and move as I breathe. Slowly I could notice more and more visuals, such faces in the trees, eyes all over the branches etc. I sent myself a text message to my cellphone 'you got to let gogog0g0g0g0g0g0g0.....'. From that point I just tried to relax and watch the new world around me. Listening to the night sounds and I could still hear the music from earlier. I entered into a very weird thought that this is the best day of my life.

5:54 A.M -The night started to fade away, and the sky slowly turned from endless black to deep blue. The moon was between the trees looking alive and smiling. The sky turned brighter, and the birds were all waking up, singing and flying around, leaving trails in the air. I moved deeper into the woods to another bench were I had a better view at the sky. First there were very heavy rain clouds, and it was pretty cold, though I didn't felt cold at all. The clouds were moving as I was breathing. Changing into new forms and shapes and swirling in the winds. I could notice colors and small shapes in the light of the clouds. I felt like I need to think how to improve my life, and how to fix my problems. I snapped out of the thoughts and saw few crows flying around leaving trails behind. I thought I heard one of them call my name, and looked back, as I heard the crows laugh at me.

I stood up and walked away to a spot I usually like to relax at. On my way there I could hear some kind of noises coming from a small tree. It sounded like small pixies talking to each other, and I looked for them finding nothing. I got to my spot; it’s a tree that is shaped oval, and very comfortable to sit on. As I sat on the tree I could feel it breathing, and felt very protected and secure. The tree moved with the wind, and felt like it was hugging me, like it was trying to say to me that everything is OK, and it will be alright. It was hugging me in a way nothing human ever did. I was sitting there for a while, looking at the stones on the ground changing shapes and twist.

7:00 A.M - I walked back to my house, and I noticed I’m not the only one out side. There were at least 20 people walking in the street. I didn't know what to do and started laughing, trying to stop myself from drawing attention as people look at me. I walked faster and entered my house. My stomach felt acidic and hurt a bit, so I ate a slice of bread, looking outside the kitchen's window and see the flowers and plants calling me to go outside and watch them. I walked outside and could hear the flowers talking to each other but I didn't understand what they were saying.

I walked back inside, and went into my room. When I sat on the chair I could feel again like was sitting on the same tree, in the middle of the woods which felt very real.

I let both of my dogs into my room, and they looked at me like they knew I was tripping. I put on some music, and watched the clouds changing into people who were swimming in the sky. I went and looked at the mirror, my face was changing. First the eyes, moving to different directions, then my mouth and nose, and my whole face mixed up, blinked, and it was normal again. I smoked some more hashish.

The trip lasted for more than 13 hours. I went to sleep, and woke up few hours later, it felt like it was only few min of sleep, and I did not remember any of the dreams. It was a very nice trip, which changed my life for the good. It fixed a lot of mixed thoughts and feelings I had for a long time, and I can't wait to do it again. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have very strong visuals, and it took so long to kick in. I guess it was because I took only 1/2 and another 1/2 few hours later. Next I will take a whole hit.

LSD changed my life.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 32903

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 11, 2006	Views: 7,518

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4)


		 DOSE:

		 80 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Fluoxetine
		 (pill / tablet)

		 1.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   65 kg

We were planning on taking the Acid on Saturday night. I was more than excited to do it. My friend R wanted to do it with me and our boyfriends. It worked out so that we could get it for Friday night and be able to go to N's house (R’s BF) and his parents weren't going to be home for the night. I had to work until 8:30pm and they were there to pick me up as soon as I got off. At work I lazed around stoned, making sure I stayed in a good mood. The last time I did a hallucinogenic drug for the second time (Mushrooms) I had a really bad trip. I ended up taking around eight grams and thought my world was coming to an end. It was horrible, I cried for four hours straight.

So anyways, I was totally stoked and so was my good friend, R. We wanted to do it together and have good talks and a sweet trip. I wanted to do it with her and was stoked I didn't have to wait another day to try out Acid and get messed up. I was sure I could handle drugs and that I'd have a really good trip. We'd go for a walk and I'd realize so much about our world and realize my beliefs and more about the person I am... But nope, we ended up not even going outside but staying in N’s house the entire night. N is one of my boyfriend's best friends and one of my friends as well. Yah, I'm sure it could have been a lot of fun if the circumstances all worked out, but they didn't. My friend R wasn't feeling the hit at all. We had taken them as soon as we got into N's house and cut them apart. N took 2, my BF took 2, I took 1.5, and R took 1. (Not only taking the one and half hits alone but I am also on anti-depressants and pills for my eating disorders; 80mg dosage a day of Fluxotine).

The vibe I felt with R for some reason to me, wasn't so positive. It felt weird and she wasn't high when we all were beginning to be. We went outside to the smoke room and started smoking a bowl out of N's bong and then I went with R because she wanted someone to come with her to get her cds out of her car. When I ran outside it felt amazing and refreshing. I ran back in to get the last hits off the bong and then we grabbed some Buds from the fridge and went back into the living room. We drank beer and listened to NIN. I took my last half hit of Acid. I was loving it. I was turned-on and experiencing so many open and closed eye visuals. They were rainbow colored like the eye for Tool and they were streaking across my vision to the beat of the music when my eyes were open and they were so intricate when I shut them. They were in a kaleidoscope pattern that slowly rotated and swirled, faded and expanded. I sat on the floor away from my BF alone on one couch and R and N together on the other. I was closing my eyes and sharing with them all the things I was picturing. I began to feel like they didn't care and didn't understand what I was experiences. Whether they really did or not, that was how I was feeling.

I felt like they were looking at me as if I were a freak or something. I didn't like it at all. From then on I don’t really remember details. Thinking of it now I realized it was then that I went psychotic and starting raging, crying, and loosing it. No one could help me. They couldn't convince me that it was the Acid and I was only having a bad trip. I should have listened to them right away when they said to not listen to the voices in my head that were thinking all the negative thoughts. The next three to four hours were a blur. I remember being in the living room and then in the spare bedroom feeling so mad, scared, and upset. In the bathroom I sort of came too and they could talk to me for once. They kept saying that they would tell me what I did and what had happened tomorrow.

They wanted it to wear off first because I was unable to communicate with. Then I started to clue in. I pieced just enough together to realize that something bad had happened because of me that night. I had a bad trip and I ‘ruined all their nights’ so-to-speak because I scared them and frustrated them beyond the point of imagination because I kept forgetting and wouldn't listen at all. Once it hit me that I wrecked all of our nights that could have been fun and that I had SUCH high hopes for, didn't work out at all because of me, I broke down crying hysterically. I ran down the stairs into the rec room area and my BF came down after me. I kept remembering and then forgetting what I had done that was so horrible in my eyes. I was starting to slip in and out of my Acid trip on my comedown. I went back upstairs and read 1:33am on the clock in the kitchen and kept re-remembering the bad news and crying all over again. Then I started to see how bummed out everyone was because of my bad trip and having to deal with me and it made me even more upset.

I started to be able to figure more about how it happened once N asked me more questions and it forced me to think. I realized that when I talked to each of them I thought that the words being said in my head were their real thoughts in their head and I could hear them. Then once I was done talking to them it felt like a wave on information like I had blinked and read their minds. My trip was full of terrible paranoid thoughts that drove me insane. It was a hard, struggling battle to finally piece it all together, but it was worth it. I cried for so long, it was a depressing and brutal awakening. I thought that they were waiting until I was sober and then bringing me to my mom to take me to a mental institution or to a doctor right away. I thought this because I had told them that the reason why I was unsustainable and freaking out was because the Acid reacted negatively with something in my personality inside my brain, chemically... or something… It didn’t even really make sense to me or to them; we were all sooo messed up. I had totally forgotten that they were just as messed up as I was.

I was expecting them to be able to help me like I've had a sober person be there for me in the past. I cried so much trying to work it all out aloud with them, it was horrible. I was so messed up that they figured that the only way that they could get it through to me and tell me what happened would be by drawing it with pencil crayons and paper. Then they asked me if I wanted to draw and color... I felt soo belittled and it felt extremely condescending. That made me even angrier. I felt such a negative vibe with R all night for some reason it was so strange. I hated it. I just wanted her to have a good trip and I thought that we'd be able to become closer after it or something silly like that. Stupid reason hey, using drugs to expand a friendship... I didn't look at it that way, but that was pointed out to me after. Anyway before I go off topic some more... I washed my face and my make-up off because it ran so much while I cried and it was burning my eyes. I looked horrribbblle...I’ve always hated looking in the mirror when I’m on drugs because I never look like myself and it’s scary.

R and I talked and she helped me out a lot. I felt like I could trust her and she understood what I was trying to explain. But still the terms with me and my BF weren’t the best. N was asking me questions and R was trying to help but it put me in an even worse mood. I hated what was happening. I just wanted them to understand and not look at me the way that I felt they were. I felt like they were making fun of me and laughing at me. They said that they were because it got so annoying after a while that they just sort of had to laugh it off. It was becoming too ridiculous I guess. I just needed help.

I blamed the Acid for triggering my personality defect and it making me go ‘crazy’. Once I came too I slipped back in and out of it. I forgot so easily and it hurt so much to remember again. I felt like it was bad news of a death or something, that's how harsh I was taking it each time I remembered again. I had created a world of chaos and hell and I lived it out that night. I felt completely exposed to the world. I was extremely embarrassed even though they are all so close to me. I thought that the voices in my head were the actual thoughts of my friends and they were telling me harsh stuff and that it was all true. I felt embarrassed about losing it on them, and at the same time so afraid of them.

I had lost my ego entirely. I was apologizing and I was scared and worried at the same time. I thought that they were going to put me in a crazy place and I wouldn't get to be with my BF anymore, of whom I love soooo much!! That was hurting me way to much. I was feeling so much pain. It was by far the worst trip ever imaginable. It beats my Mushroom trip because I had my BF there to comfort me and he wasn't as messed up as I was. I learned from my trip that no matter how experienced a person thinks they are with drugs; sometimes people just have bad trips. It happens to all of us, even the best of us. I realized that I can’t control hallucinogenic drugs very well and that I have far too many paranoid thoughts. So I think I’ll just stick to MDMA, drinking alcohol, and smoking weed for my good times!

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 41671

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 16, 2006	Views: 15,732

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

Let me begin by saying that I have been put in a mental hospital three times in the past year for psychosis and depression. It is believed that my psychosis was triggered (not caused) by the use of LSD, the details of which I will not go into. After being prescribed with a myriad of medications with little help, and accompanying serious side effects (anti-psychotics will numb your life) I was becoming very fed up with the doctor's half-assed attempts to make me better.

I had read some about LSD being used half a century ago to cure certain mental illnesses, one of them being depression. I had stopped taking my anti-psychotic secretly less than a week before and was beginning to taper off of my anti-depressant, also secretly. Since the depression was the principle enemy to my well being, I decided to give LSD a try, by myself, to defeat it, despite how it might affect my psychosis.

It is usually quite difficult to procure acid where I live, but I unexpectedly made a new contact and obtained four hits by the end of the day. Looking back, this was Divine Providence. I was on my way home at about 1:00 a.m. and decided that, in order to time my trip so that I would not be tripping very far into the next day, I needed to do it then, so I took the four hits, roughly one half hour before I would be home. I had taken to doing pre-trip auto-hypnosis to ensure a good trip for my past few trips,  [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]  but since this is awfully difficult to do while driving, I decided to forego it. My mindset was rather typical of that time of my life and was permeated by a mild to moderate sadness, apathy and profound sense of being alone even when amongst close friends.

On a side note, I live with my parents and was 17 at the time. My parents knew of my previous drug use because of my hospitalization, but I had convinced them that this was a thing of the past.

As I approached my neighborhood, I became increasingly aware of the growing intensity; within five minutes of first feeling the effects of the drug, I was seriously beginning to trip. I pulled into my neighborhood (thankfully, as it was becoming very difficult to drive) and stopped to talk to my gate guard (I live on a heavily wooded golf course, which makes for some rather interesting trips). Thankfully it was T., the young gateguard who has no problem with drugs. I told him after a moment of chit-chat that I was tripping and that I needed to get home, but if he saw me on the course that night to not worry. So, I pulled into the driveway and walked in the door, coming face to face with my mother in a well-lit area. Fortunately, I act weird enough normally so that tripping around my parents is relatively easy if made short, but I knew that my eyes were very dilated and the look on my face was one of fear, so I came close to panicking. Fortunately, I was able to keep the conversation very short, with few questions and only a little bit of evident confusion on my part (which isn't all that out of the ordinary for me).

As I walked up to my room, my thoughts were of how to make sure I don't have to interact with my parents anymore that night. I decided on taking a nice long bath, which had always been soothing while tripping in the past. I got into the tub and tried to relax, as I was becoming very anxious about the rapidly accelerating intensity. The most LSD I had consumed before was two hits at a time, and I was alone then also. Apparently this new acid was of remarkable strength because I was quickly having extremely intense visual hallucinations and lack of physical coordination--much more so than on two hits, even taking into account doubling the dose.

My bathtub is feaux-marble, which has lots of swirling patterns and such, so the there was much visual fodder for the trip. After what seemed like half an hour of this (probably more like 5 minutes), I was on the verge of panicking, so I decided the best route was to go to my room and go to turn off the lights and just lay in bed and listen to music. So, I got out of the tub, and started to dress. Quickly realizing that this was going to take a great deal of effort and time, I stopped after getting my boxers on.

Normally I plan my trips music-wise, as listening to music is my favorite thing to do while tripping. I had planned an extensive list starting with Bach's Well Tempered Clavier and peaking with Rachmaninoff and Prokofieff Piano Concertos. As I got into my room I quickly realized that to do all this, I would first have to find the list, then find the CD's, then find the cases to the cd's already in the changer, and then switch them out. Way too difficult, so I just turned on whatever was in there and turned off the lights to go to bed.

I had had audio hallucinations before but they had always been familiar sounds: applause, laughter, talking, hearts beating, car horns, etc. These hallucinations were sounds which did not even faintly resemble any sound I had heard before. In addition to that I had closed eye visuals of creatures and scenes likely induced by reading too much H. P. Lovecraft, though they were not scary in any way other than their intensity. The thing that worried me most though, was the thought processes I was having. I was quickly losing the ability to think about anything in way that would possibly warrant the term 'thinking'. I did not know what to think about human relationships, especially that of parent-child, specifically my parents and I. I spent God-knows-how-long trying to figure out what I might say if my parents came into my room and 'woke me up'. It was so intense that I panicked and grabbed a double dose of anti-psychotic to help fight the trip.

Looking back, I have no way of telling what this did to the trip. The madness proceeded on for awhile and I completely lost track of time.

I sat up in bed after about three hours (judging by which CD was on) with a terrifying revelation. I realized that tripping was a trap that had been set for me and, once released, I was the only person left on earth and I would be tripping until I died. This was an incredibly terrible feeling and it was accompanied by an intense rush of what I think must have been adrenaline. On top of that, the rush seemed to be screaming at me in a human voice, though I could still clearly hear the music. Although I was the last person on earth, the other's bodies were still here but were merely hallucinations meant to fool me into thinking that the trap wasn't real.

I wallowed for a few fleeting moments in utter despair, but quickly decided that although it was a terrible fate, the way to go was to make the best of it, and go outside and enjoy myself. So I precariously marched downstairs and straight out the back door.

I walked out towards the golf course and on the way contemplated the necessity of clothes in my unprecedented situation. I determined that they were pointless, so I took them off. Of course by them, I actually just mean my boxers. As I reached the golf course I realized that my thoughts about making the best of the situation stopped at going outside; I was very confused about how one goes about enjoying oneself naked and tripping very hard on a golf course in the middle of night. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind--I did a slow somersault on the still-moist-from-rain grass. I then proceeded to jump in a way that seemed to be dancing. I had run out of ideas at that point and then I started to have thoughts of what I should do while tripping and it occurred to me that I could get away with anything, even rape if I wanted.

I quickly dismissed this idea for several reasons.

1) Even if the people weren’t real, I still knew it was wrong

2) I know from experience that sexual activity while tripping hard is damn near impossible

3) I don't know more than three or four people in my neighborhood, and two are female and neither of them are attractive or under 40 and lastly

4) some corner of my brain that wasn't tripping was screaming at me that this would be a VERY BAD IDEA, seeing as how I'm not cool with prison and all... I then decided to go for a walk down my street (which is always very moving in a slightly spiritual, completely intangible sort of way).

I am now walking, stark naked, down my street at somewhere around 4:00 am. The intensity and severity of the trip, perceived trap included, was still building, so I decided to take a short rest and lay down. That’s when a car pulls up. I look up, and its T., the gateguard! I know he's just a hallucination, but I decide not to let him know that I know, and just play along. So after the initial astonished remarks, 'I thought your were going to walk the trails...How many did you take again? Do you know you're laying in the middle of the street naked?' And some arguing, he got me to get into his car.

We talked for a while as he drove to my house about how he never did the whole 'naked tripping' thing and how it’s a good thing that nobody looked out their window and saw me. At one point I said, rather off-handedly and non-chalantly that I should kill myself (with the thought in mind that it didn't matter since nobody else was around to mourn my death and I was gonna be tripping until I died). He assured me that I should not, that everything was going to be fine, and when I told him that I was going to die, he said with complete confidence that I would not, which was probably all I needed to hear right from the beginning, anyway. I was very reluctant to leave his car, but he eventually convinced me to just go to bed. I went upstairs, still butt-naked and crawled into bed and went to sleep, just like that.

I woke up the next morning to my father telling me that I had to pick up a family friend from the hospital that day, which I totally hadn't factored in the previous day. After the initial conversation, I realized all that had transpired the night before, and had a profound thankfulness to be alive, and for every person I knew that loved me, and for music and for absolutely everything. I had been brought to the utter depths of complete despair and solitude and had been redeemed against all impossibility. I almost got in a wreck about ten times getting my friend from the hospital to home, and I ended up crashing and sleeping a good twelve hours at my cousins' house.

Although it seemed like a perfect revelation, my depression returned in a couple of days, nearly unscathed. However, I had a talk with my best friend less than a week after, and though she knew about the trip, she knew no details. On the subject of drugs, and life and suicide, she gave me a beautiful, powerfully moving oration and said many of the same things I had thought after waking up *verbatum*. I was nearly moved to tears, and felt clearly that God was telling me something, something I could not ignore any longer. I decided right then to turn my life around and quit being such an ass and constantly feeling sorry for myself. It has been several months since then, and although I have occasionally felt shitty like everybody does sometimes, the yoke of depression and constant dwelling on the thought of suicide has been lifted completely, after many years of suffering under its ever-growing tyranny.

As for my psychosis, it feel either that it has diminished somewhat, or it has simply ceased to be important, though it is still occasionally troublesome, but well within tolerable bounds. I realize that I still have a long spiritual journey ahead of me with many trials, but I know now that I can survive anything God puts me through... unless of course it kills me.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 44018

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 16, 2006	Views: 7,205

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LSD (2) : Depression (15), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)