		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 buccal
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   210 lb

I had been curious about using psychedelics in that past but had never really came across the chance to do any of them. I’d been wary about drug use in the past before due having a family history of substance abuse, primarily stimulants (crystal) and opioids (morphine). I had casually brought it up in conversation with friends I worked with at the time but eventually one day one of my close friends I worked with asked if I wanted to try it. For context we’re all in the military I won't say where or what branch but to my surprise I had discovered that essentially all of the people that lived in the barracks in my company were using it.

I had discovered that essentially all of the people that lived in the barracks in my company were using it.

 So, we had set up a time and day to consume. It took some time for my wife to agree to it as she was worried about substance abuse as well. Life in the army can be troubling and I have several undiagnosed behavioral health issues that are hereditary from my mom so at this time I’d already spent time in inpatient for attempted suicide and I had a drinking problem I was just getting over.

We had decided to all go out and grab some ramen and kind of brief over what to expect and what we will do. I had a pretty clear mind set and was pretty hyped so I didn’t think there would be any issue with having a bad trip either. I had researched as much as I could on the substance.

We finished our ramen and decided to dose. Starting the trip it was 4 of us including myself, my best friends that I’ll call G, his girlfriend J, and our other friend F. J unwrapped the foil and handed out 3 tabs from one blotter sheet and one much smaller tab from another sheet. I don’t really think anyone knew exactly how many mcg we were taking but my best guess is the small one was about 100 and the others were probably 50-75 each. After we did what would become the traditional cheers with the tabs everyone went their separate ways until the come up. Mind you we decided to do this in the barracks so that was the only nerving thing about it. If you don’t know typically barracks will be each suite is two different rooms that share a bathroom and a common area. We started in F’s room and his roommate wasn’t aware of what we were doing.

Everyone else went to their respective rooms and showered because that was their pre come up ritual. I stayed in F’s room until he showered. Around this time there was a knock at the door and two other friends we worked with S and R stopped by. I still had the tabs in my mouth and started to get nervous until they had already pointed out they knew what we were doing and was surprised I was partaking as well as disappointed they weren’t told about it before hand. They decided to join us but things started to get more complicated due to other people joining the trip when we started feeling the come up. I still remember the first song that F played called Oddity by whatsonot. All the guys referred to it as “the wet song”. I remember F looking at me “Recline the seat and lay back and you’ll fall into it” so I did but each time the beat dropped and the song played these loud wet sounds J and R kept saying “Oh my god so fucking wet!” and I started losing it.

I remember leaning back up and needing something to drink so I asked F for some water. When he came back from the kitchen, he had a regular sized coffee mug but to me it looked like an unreasonably huge container of water and as my shaking arms reached out to grab it I felt as if I was going to spill it. I started to realize that even though we were in such a small room everyone felt so out of reach like they were 100 miles away. “what's the matter? Drink the water man” I heard F say and I responded “I can’t, I can’t drink it someone help” about this time S and R started screaming with their tabs in their mouth “don't drink that fucking water, don’t do it!” eventually I was able to and after this G came back to fetch us and go to J’s room who supposedly had a much better vibe.

Upon entering J’s room, I noticed immediately it was in fact a better vibe. She has lights turned on that went along the corners of the ceiling that changed colors. She also had light saber and a bunch of tapestries and posters.  She was playing doom on her PC waiting on us to come in and at this time it felt like a very dreamy like state I was in. Throughout the night more and more people got involved which was somewhat uncomfortable but also fun. I remember sitting with J on her bed and we started talking about suicide, it was a serious conversation about what we had both went through before, however the visuals at this time seemed somewhat disturbing as her face started to look demonic with long sharp teeth but I wasn’t afraid. It was a good conversation and she was a good friend. Several times throughout the night we had left through her window and came back in doing stuff all together (the original group) like watching the sunset and looking at stars and talking about life and how we felt about each other. There was this strong connection between all of us being friends especially with me and G.

We had talked about how I felt that I could rely on G in any kind of crisis and that’d we’d be there for each other. At this time during the peak, I had also had this realization about existence that to me seemed would have been a depressing thought for a normal person but at my state it seemed so comforting. Before this part of my suicidal ideation was out of this thought that I was so alone and misunderstood and that no one else seemed to notice or care about things like government corruption, police brutality, racial inequality, neo-Nazis whatever the list goes on and not in a traditional sense but in more of an Orwellian kind of fear about what is to come or how much control we had over our lives and that kind of thing. But this realization made me think and I spoke aloud “you know, our life is like a grain of sand in all the worlds beaches and we are so insignificant and meaningless but we are all one together. Things aren’t so bad and if all you do is focus on the bad and what you can’t change then your existence would be miserable”. The other agreed to this sentiment and as time went on, we discussed many different things and eventually made our way inside before the come down started.

After everyone was back inside and things started to mellow out it was just the original group on J’s room and this was the time, they all like to watch videos and things like that. First, we watch the old alien movie “they live” which was my recommendation.  After they had begun to show me some videos, they all liked while tripping and I’ll never forget them. In my opinion you shouldn’t waste your trip watching pure comedy or something. You to watch things visually appealing and thought provoking and this is where the other part of the title creepy crawlies come in. F had told me that if something seems uncanny or somewhat disturbing to confront them and that ended up being exactly the kind of material I liked looking for. We watched mostly adult swim stuff that I realized at that point was all designed to watch while tripping or even the people doing it was tripping. We watched unedited footage of a bear, smart pipe, Icelandic ultra-blue, Jack Stauber's shop a pop opera, May I please enter your home, for profit online university, and quite a bit more. There's something to say about the uncanniness of these little shows. The occasional “wait, what?” visual glitches and overall demeanor of them. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to say the least. After all this we watched the sun rise and I had them take me home.

I did it with people I trust and have done it before. Listened to some kick ass music, watched some videos, talked about uncomfortable stuff. It’s something I’ll never forget and after that I still do LSD to this day. Though as times change and people move in the military, I mostly have to do it alone.

The visuals in this one was a lot different than other ones I had. There was your quintessential fractals and stuff but overall things looked as if I were trying to watch a DVD with scratched disk or very “computer corruption” esque. It’s a lot cooler than it sounds. I also personally feel EDM is the best kind of music to jam to despite never being a fan beforehand.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115792

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: Oct 7, 2021	Views: 428

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		 9 shots
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

LSD Saved My Life...

A few years back, I had been diagnosed with depression after a suicide attempt and was put on various antidepressant medications. I took these meds as directed for about 2 years, only to realize they were doing absolutely nothing. Before my stupid attempt at suicide, I had already began smoking marijuana daily and doing many other drugs such as ecstasy, mushrooms and various opiates, occasionally (and no, the drugs had nothing to do with my depression!). Since I had tried mushrooms, they were by far my favorite drug and it made me fall in love with tripping out =D. I wanted something more, and LSD was obviously the next step for me.

Me and my best friend, who I will call 'Joe' from now on, decided to take 1 hit of acid each at exactly 9:00 PM.....Keep in mind that at the time I took LSD, I was still a suicidal and extremely depressed person with a terrible outlook on life, people and almost everything in general. Also, being an experienced tripper on mushrooms and salvia divinorum, I knew the risks of tripping with a bad state of mind, but knew how to control myself....

9:00 pm...Put LSD on my tongue and kept it there for about 25 minutes and then swallowed it. We stayed in Joe's room in his house for the duration of the trip.

10:00 pm...Lights seemed to be brighter, there was a strange static and life about the room and objects seemed to be breathing with a strange pulse.

11:00 pm...I began to see a plaid-like pattern all over everything, strange trails followed moving objects and the pulsing/breathing of objects became more intense. This continued until about 1:00 am.

1:00 am...By this time, I really began examining things inside my head. It seemed like so much chaos was going on in the room...colors were swirling all over everything, objects became strangely alive and very odd hallucinations of demon faces were seen all over, although they were not frightening...this was happening even though in reality it was only me and Joe sitting in a chair in his room with the T.V. on.

2:00 am...I reached my peak here and things became unbelievable. I had a feeling of extreme euphoria surging through my body. All my senses were interconnected with each other and there was so much I wanted to say to Joe about what I was seeing and feeling, but I was unable to form words in my brain. Language, life and sensory seemed to make no sense to me.

3:00 am...I was still peaking, but kind of 'got used to it' and I decided to sit down and enjoy the ride.***This is when the life-changing part occurred***I was sitting and staring off into space watching all these strange hallucinations of colors morphing into each other. I was then able to actually see microscopic life all over. I actually saw germs crawling all over everything, slowly inching along. There were billions of them. This got me to some EXTREME deep thinking and mind traveling. Now I understood why the experience was called a 'trip.'

4:00 am...I was thinking very hard, probably too hard about the meaning of life and death, the future of the earth and humanity, and trying to find answers and reasons to EVERYTHING. My thoughts became overwhelming and I felt my brain pulsing and thumping inside my skull. I then came to a strange revelation that life has no meaning, there is no God, all people are greedy animals that will never learn, and I will never know what it is like to die until it actually happens.

5:00 am...Still thinking about all that was said above, a strange euphoric and comforting feeling came over me again and it made me feel like everything was going to be alright, I had nothing to worry about and life is just worth living. From that moment on, until this day, I have been a happy, very happy and changed person.

6:00 am...The trip suddenly stopped dead in its tracks and I began to doze off.....

The next day I woke up and it felt like a train had hit me. The trip was still fresh in my mind, and I had a whole new and brilliant outlook on life. I learned a lot and had many questions and thoughts that have haunted me my whole life had finally been answered. I love life now.

[Reported Dose: "1 hit of LSD.....9 shots of 80 proof liquor"]

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 64637

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 18, 2021	Views: 845

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   62 kg

Age: 28 years

Sex: Male

Weight: 62kg

Height 182cm

Previous substances used: MDMA once about a month ago. Drunk about 15 times between 16 and 25 years of age.

Sensory separation, ego death, reincarnation.

I took one blotter of LSD, which I was told should be 150 micrograms. I took it at 1515 hours.

About 45 minutes into it, the ceiling above my bed on which I was lying was making all forms of patterns that were shaking. And it also looked like the ceiling was actually a floor that had a few inches of water on it and the surface was rippling.

About an hour into it, every little spot and dot and smudge everywhere on the floor and walls was moving, disappearing and appearing, morphing into insects and bugs and whatnot. The floor in my apartment is a very unique and random pattern, it doesn't repeat itself at all, it is completely random. This was extremely cool, because the patterns that formed on it were insanely detailed and all kinds of small dots of all colors I could imagine were moving on the patterns. And there's also a lot of small smudges and stains on the floor and all of those became little bugs that moves all over the place.

I felt as if I had a fish-eye lens on, everything was distorted on the edges of my periferal vision, as if my field of vision was a lot more than normally. The edges of the room seemed to go a lot further. I went to take a shower.

In the shower I felt like the water went inside me as it came down and as I looked at my fingers there was some kind of web or slime connecting my fingers to each other. And as I looked at the ground, the water drops on the ground formed incredible patterns that moved in perfect synchronization. All the small smudges of dirt on the edges of my bathroom turned into ants that were running all over.

When I came out of the shower I went back to bed, and as I did that I left a bunch of water drops on my blue bed sheets. They were very distinct and my girlfriend (my guide) pointed them out to me and I looked at them. They seemed to keep forming on their own, and as I lifted the covers they kept forming all over the bed sheets. I was absolutely amazed by it!

I don't have a good idea of time from here forward, I was pretty much out of it.

All the small patterned colored dots on the floor kept getting more and more vivid. My gf put on some music and I kept lying on the bed and waving my arms and my head was filled with all kinds of ideas and shapes and images.

And then I got it into my head that I should watch this galactic timelapse video I had found on the web a while back. I had planned on watching it on acid because I wanted to try if I could go into space. When my gf put it on and I was lying on the bed I saw the edge of the monitor because a chair was in front of it. But I was able to move the chair with my mind without moving my head, so that I could see the entire monitor! This absolutely blew my mind, I got up and said: 'NOW I WILL GO INTO THE GALAXIES!' And proceeded to dive into the monitor. And I actually went there! My gf filmed this and the look on my face was absolutely incredible. It was pure amazement, I have my arms up and I go: 'I am in perfect control ... and I AM IN THE GALAXY!' I couldn't see anything else other than the sky filled with the milky way galaxy, stars and clusters of stars and star dust everywhere.

After that the trip went completely nuts. I went back on the bed and asked my gf to come hug and kiss with me, and this took the trip to a whole new level. My gf came on top of me and as she was on top of me, pressing against my hips and started kissing me I started to see all kinds of shapes and patterns and I literally felt as if our hips merged together. It felt extremely powerful close to painful, but not bad per se. Our bodies fused together and I started to feel as if my body turned into something else. Like my body was the size and shape of the entire universe and I felt with every part of it.

I started to feel as if my body turned into something else. Like my body was the size and shape of the entire universe and I felt with every part of it.

 Whenever I tried moving a part of my body I felt the movement all over the place, every little movement felt everywhere I could imagine.

I lost all form of self, I didn't have a body anymore and I was something else, I forgot what this world was about and I realized that I was actually the entire universe, a universe that was realizing that it was the universe. And I kept evolving, morphing into new things. I realized that all my life was actually a lie or a figment of my imagination and something else was actually right. And this looped over and over into all kinds of different things that I can't explain. I think I died and was reborn as the universe multiple times.

And from here on forward the trip got bad. I started to get flashes where I was walking all over my apartment and my gf was following me and I was extremely disoriented. I would look at all the things in my apartment and then look at my gf and ask: 'What is going on?' And she would go: 'You are tripping on acid.' Then I'd keep going.

At this part of the trip I went through dozens of different loops that were all pretty much horribly scary and negative. The loops mostly consisted of things that happened to my mind, stuff like that I realized that I was going insane, I heard it being said in my mind, but I can't remember the words that were used, but it was crystal clear that I was indeed going insane and I felt as if that had been going on for hours, I was going insane over and over.

And then the loops turned into something else. I was suddenly an old granny, my voice was high and sort of screechy and I was walking around in my apartment. And my memory kept skipping so that I would suddenly realize I was in the kitchen and I would turn to my gf and ask: 'What's going on?' And she would go: 'You walked into the kitchen.' Which obviously turned in my head into that I was an old granny that had a memory problem and I was walking around unknowingly. All the little bottles of vitamins we have around the house were obviously my medicine cos I was old, sunglasses were my old granny glasses cos I obviously didn't see well. As I looked at my facebook page I could see my children and grandchildren send me messages.

I kept finding myself in the toilet and kept asking my gf: 'Did I go?' And she would go: 'No, you just came here and did nothing.' Then the trip kept going worse, I started to feel a weird feeling in my testicles, so now I was obviously an old man with testicular cancer. I was dying, I saw people send me goodbye notes on facebook, so that meant I was close to dying of cancer. I went to lay on the bed and said (on camera): 'well, I gotta say that, I had a good run!' And turned to face the wall. And seemingly accepted my death. At this point there was a sad song coming out of my computer that reminded a little of a funeral song. I ACTUALLY felt as if I was in a coffin in my own funeral and I was carried in church as the song was going. And I embraced death. I kept dying many times in these loops and each time I realized I was dying, I embraced it. I even remember saying: 'Finally, this is what I've been waiting for!' And my gf would ask: 'What is that?' I would answer: 'Death!' (Note that I have not had a suicidal thought in my entire life.) I also died from suicide by knife and by going out on a car while drunk.

And during these loops there were also places where I understood that something fundamental was happening in my mind, I was realizing that something was happening that was the worst thing that could happen in my mind, something that I had spent my entire life trying not to experience, and I kept experiencing it over and over. Stuff like, going insane, suddenly starting to believe in god (life long atheist), my gf telling me she's cheating on me, suddenly realizing I was gay. There were a lot of these, and each felt like the worst possible thing that could EVER happen to me.

After this, I pretty much came to my senses and didn't experience any more memory skipping or other visions. I was back in my room with my girlfriend. I was laying on the bed and she was sitting on a chair next to me. And this was the beginning of the scariest part of the trip by far...

I was back in reality, but it felt absolutely unreal. The room was slightly distorted, the colors were extremely vivid and every single surface that had even a little bit of texture was moving extremely powerfully. The curtains that have a complex texture were moving and shifting and morphing. The floor was filled with moving patterns of bright colors and bugs and insect. Everywhere I looked I saw small things quivering and moving and morphing, as if every texture in the world was animated.

And then my girlfriend started to talk... a lot. Extremely calm, extremely articulated. Not that she's not like that normally, but it felt absolutely unreal. I simply couldn't say anything. After what I had gone through, I had just died multiple times, I had become the universe and had my body distorted and destroyed and so on. The experience I had just gone through was so powerful that I was convinced that I had ACTUALLY died. Or at least was in a coma in real life, that I was sure that this was not the real world. I was certain that this woman that looked like my gf was actually an imposter, here to 'take care of me' in my 'limbo' if you will.

The strangest thing was that I could not feel my body. I couldn't feel that I was breathing. I couldn't feel that my muscles did anything when I moved around. Everything felt as if I had just been placed into this fake body in a simulation. And I was 100% certain this was the only possibility. But I could not comprehend how this could be possible. I have been a logical, scientific thinker all my life. And I could not understand how my brain could create such a world for me.

I have been a logical, scientific thinker all my life. And I could not understand how my brain could create such a world for me.

 My girlfriend kept talking and I tried to find something in her speech that would indicate that she wasn't real. I tried calling her phone to see if it would connect, and it did. She looked at me with a smile and said: 'Why did you do that?' And it felt SO weird, I was convinced that she knew I didn't believe this was real and she was wary that I would freak out. I kept trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

I tried doing a few push ups just for the hell of it, and I couldnt feel any strain on my muscles. I am not a very athletic person but I couldn't feel anything. I could feel that my brain registered that I was doing physical work, but I couldn't feel my muscles doing it.

We went out for a walk and I couldn't feel anything. It was pretty cold, but I couldnt feel it. I couldnt feel myself walking, I still couldnt feel myself breathing and every car and person going past us seemed to look directly at me, as if they knew. As if they were already part of this reality and I had just entered it and everyone knew it.

I called my friend to see if he would pick up and he did, we chatted for a while and he seemed normal. Then I called my brother and asked what he was doing. He was at home so I said we'd come by and he said ok. So we walked through the city at night, and all through the walk I felt nothing. I usually get at least a bit winded if we walk fast, but I felt nothing.

While we were walking I tried to explain my gf what I thought. I told her that I was convinced that I had died and I was in either a limbo, an afterlife or a parallel universe. And her reply was so calm! She just said: 'Hmm, that's interesting that you think that you're in a parallel universe...' At this point I broke down crying for a few seconds and told her that I am in total panic about what's going on. And she just said: 'Don't worry, it's OK.' She is never this calm, but later she told me that she just did her best to keep her composure so that I wouldn't freak out more and that she was actually really freaked out as well.

We went to see my brother and sat down talking for a bit and then my brother gave us a lift home. Even then I was still not sure if I was in the real world. Then my gf started to show me the clips she had filmed about me. And watching them I slowly started to come to and realize that I had just gone through an ego death and coming back after that...

So basically I experienced ego death but was completely lost as to what happened after that, so basically the end of my trip, in which I could have started to rebuild myself was lost because I was so confused and afraid about what was actually going on.

All in all, an extremely scary trip but the most amazing experience of my entire life. A few weeks and I'll try that again. :)

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 90846

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 28

Published: Oct 26, 2021	Views: 669

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Glowing Experiences (4), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   repeated
		 inhaled
		 Nitrous Oxide

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   60 kg

A Trip Through the Nitrous Oxide Realm

Location: Sydney, Australia.

I am going to go into as much detail as possible for this report but some segments may be lost as I had not originally intended to report my experience, however I feel I need to due to the nature of some of the points throughout the trip and my desire to recall this experience in future.

To set the scene; myself, my girlfriend and a group of friends decided to drop acid on a Friday evening at home, we had done this a few weeks earlier at home and had a good time, though not as intense as this time. Our friend J was doing acid properly for the first time and me, my girlfriend (Jz), S and K all had some prior experience with psychedelics such as LSD and Mushrooms.

+020.00

We had all been chilling on the back porch around a large table chatting, drinking and smoking some joints while listening to music, the time is around 8pm. The table is lit from above with pulsing coloured LED lights, the music plays through the living room system which is just through the double doors out to the back porch creating a good feel for a trip. The sun had set and after some time we all decided now was the time to drop the acid. Me, J, S and Jz all took one tab each while K did two as we were told this was “weaker acid”. We then set about playing a board game “codenames” which had everyone laughing and having a good time.

+20.20

About twenty minutes after we initially dropped, still playing the boardgames whilst smoking and having some nitrous, K started to mention he was feeling like the acid was kicking in. I felt something similar in my body but dismissed that it was kicking in as we were only twenty minutes in. Over the next ten to fifteen minutes my body high was growing more intense which did make me question whether the acid was actually starting, at this point I felt some anxiety about the stated strength of the acid, and also for how K may be feeling.

+20.50

At this point some other friends showed up at our place who were not tripping, this is when I really started to notice the onset; K, S, Jz and J were all feeling it too, we were all having a hard time trying to play the board game and also interact with our sober friends but not in a bad way, the difference in energy was just more noticeable because of the acid. We smoked some joints and continued having nitrous whippets in balloons, this was elevating the onset of the acid and visuals were beginning to become more and more vivid. We were all laughing non stop at each other and were all generally having a really good time enjoying the come up.

+21.30

The onset of the acid was very quick, possibly because of the nitrous combination but we all noted how it had affected us quicker than the last time we tripped together on a stronger dose. We had previously set the living room up with coloured lights, neon signs etc which gave us another area to explore. The surround sound in the living room sounded amazing, I could feel the vibrations of the music going in time with the vibrations of my body, I felt connected to the music through the artwork on the screen. Around now our sober friends left and we moved into the living room taking turns doing nitrous in a bean bag in the middle of the room. This with the music loud provides an intense experience with heavy visuals and a sense of leaving reality for a period of time that feels longer than it is. We were all tripping pretty hard at this point, all noting heavy light hallucinations and feelings of time repeating itself after a balloon. The balloons were running out so we decided it would be fun to walk to the shops about ten minutes away.

+22.00

We left the house after around another half an hour due to the confusion and distractions of the visuals. During the walk the visuals were increasingly strong at times, with trees and building looking warped and coloured. The trees were shimmering with purples and blues in the dark streets with the buildings looking out of place and as if they were made of plastic or some other material that was smooth and shiny with a “softness” to it. This is very enjoyable and I’d say we were all having a similar experience. Cars were very alien and the noises were crisp and seemed to echo, as we reached a cross roads Jz mentioned how it looked like we were In Tokyo, and we all agreed and stood to enjoy the shared experience while waiting to cross. The shop where the nitrous is sold is on a busy main street with bars, cafes and restaurants which is full of lights and signs. This was very enjoyable for us while tripping, the lights were vivid and bright with trails coming off in different colours. I felt very content with how I was feeling at this point, I tend to enjoy being outside moving through different environments when tripping.

We made it to the shop in a relatively quick time considering our state. K, who had taken the highest dosage was actually acting as group leader, he was the only one who managed to bring money and also was the one to go into the shop to make the purchase, this was surprising to me considering in my state I was in no way capable of remembering anything when leaving the house. On the way home, we stopped at the 7eleven to buy snacks and some drinks. We all bought ice creams and walked the rest of the way having the most blissful joint experience of the ice cream, which tasted amazing while tripping and the coldness of the mouthfuls was soothing my dry mouth from nitrous and smoking joints.

+22.40

At this point I feel like things kicked up in terms of intensity, both the visuals and body high.

We arrived home and went back out onto the back deck, we decided we all should do a balloon at the same time. We proceeded to load up five balloons for all of us, we chose not to have any music on but instead listen to the sounds of the crickets in the night which I was heightened to and felt very comforted by the sound. We all started huffing the balloons at the same time, about thirty seconds in I lost awareness of everyone around me and everything fell silent, the area seemed to be a light blueish colour and time felt like it was standing still. As I took the balloon down from my mouth, I noticed that all sounds that I could hear sounded like they were in slow motion.

As I took the balloon down from my mouth, I noticed that all sounds that I could hear sounded like they were in slow motion.

 I lost awareness of my body and felt like I had gone too far, I looked around the room and could see that everyone was in this altered reality with me. We all came to and were confused but excited about what had just happened and started trying to make sense of it which felt impossible at the time, and looking back I still cannot work out if we all left our bodies for a brief time and were in this altered place through the nitrous combining with the LSD. After this first experience we continued to do nitrous but did not have the same profound joint experience. This combo definitely ramps up the effects of the LSD, I thought I was peaking when we were walking to the shops but now my high was a lot heavier and my body felt like I was constantly slightly under the effects of nitrous, things were more and more confusing and I was finding that I needed to change my seat or move between rooms to bring some clarity to my mind.

+23.30

After about another hour of chatting, listening  to music and taking nitrous oxide I was really feeling deep into my trip. The whole of my vision was becoming distorted, patterns were appearing on all surfaces and even merging from object to object creating one continuous pulse of geometric patterns. The walls were distorted and pulsing and light seemed to sway through the spectrum depending on the music and the conversation. There were points where I was becoming internally panicked that this was a much stronger dose than advertised, but these unpleasant feelings would usually subside after moving location or starting conversation. I find that my girlfriend Jz is the best person for any unpleasant feelings, even just being next to her makes me feel very grounded and no matter how hard we've been tripping I feel we are always on the same level and are connected in a way that we are always on the same energy level, she is my rock when tripping and feel very grateful for this.

+00.30

The trip is still at a very high intensity, we are now all doing our own thing. J, K and Jz were on the back deck whilst me and S were in the living room enjoying the music. I was sat on the sofa while S was dancing close to the speaker she mentioned how she was dancing with the music, feeling the music within her being. I was sat on the sofa having some intense visuals which were messing with my perspective, I was struggling to focus on anything for longer than a few seconds. I remember at this point I was surprised the acid was still so strong due to the low dose, but then felt very content again and went outside onto the deck to roll a joint with Jz.

+01.30

 After another hour, the strength was coming and going in waves and we chatted and chilled on the deck while I rolled a joint. I finally got it rolled and we were feeling really good about smoking it, by this point another wave came over me and things were getting intense again. As I lit the joint I felt amazing, the body high was euphoric and the light trails were spinning around and twirling through the smoke of the joint. This felt amazing and with each toke I could feel myself slipping a bit deeper into the trip. Visual distortion became stronger and feelings of confusion were beginning to creep in again. I think this was generally to do with the surprise of how strongly we were all tripping, I spoke about this with Jz and she was feeling the same which made me feel a lot more comfortable.

+01.50

We saw J and K in the hallway looking at the various bits of artwork whilst doing a balloon. Myself, S and Jz went in with them and began to admire the spiralling colours and melting textures that filled the frame of a Jimi Hendrix painting. It was really amazing looking at this and watching it come alive. At this point my perspective was completely off, the hallway was ballooned out and the corners were rounded and soft, almost as if the corners didn't exist and the hall was just one straight line. Everyone was at different heights in my field of vision even thought some are taller and others are similar in height, this was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable so I went back outside onto the back deck to try and gather my thoughts.

The strength of the trip at this time was still pretty intense, visuals were still very colourful and full of patterns with the addition of the distorted perspective which seemed to have a very late onset. The table was at an angle and nothing on it was easily visible, and the distances between myself and others around the table was very warped and distorted. We were all feeling pretty physically exhausted at this point and were chilling in the back. S was on her own in the bathroom enjoying her reflection and the visuals she was still having. After about thirty minutes she went to bed, while the rest of us stayed out the back taking hits on K’s weed vape which was really nice change to the joints we’d been smoking all evening. I could sense that the acid was finally wearing off and I was feeling very peaceful and relaxed about the whole experience so far.

+02.10

Jz went to bed while me, K and J stayed out smoking and chatting about the night, trying to make sense of some of the things we’d seen and experienced, we continued to smoke the vape which was not intensifying any of the trip but was more bringing us down and getting us ready for bed. After about fifteen minutes, I decided to go to bed and cuddle up with Jz and get cosy as I was feeling very tired. I was still having some mild visuals at this time but once my eyes were closed and I was lying down it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. I had a very deep and enjoyable sleep but did not recall having any dreams which I was expecting to.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113782

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 28

Published: Oct 28, 2021	Views: 740

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LSD (2), Nitrous Oxide (40), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Kratom
		 (ground / crushed)

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Ginger
		 (tea)

		   T+ 0:00
		 ~400 mg
		 oral
		 Mescaline
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 2:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 2:30
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:15
		 ~80 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 4:45
		 30 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 5:30
		 10 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Diazepam
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 vaporized
		 DMT

		   T+ 0:00
		 ~200 mg
		 oral
		 Tryptophan - 5-HTP

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Vitamin B-6

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

So this was a day I had been planning for for a long time. A little over a year ago I had somewhat of a bad acid trip (my own fault... it was a horrible day to do it - my teenage brother was having a kegger later that same night and I was supposed to be the 'responsible' one watching over all these kids). Granted I took it earlier in the day, but it was still on my mind all day and my brother and his friend were acting like idiots while on it, after all, they were only teenagers.

After experiencing what could be considered crippling anxiety the whole day during that trip, the bad feelings unfortunately seemed to stick with me long afterwards (set and setting is everything!). I had taken care of myself before and afterwards... I was always have been and still am into working out (lifting about an hour 2x per week of mixed/alternating powerlifting, Olympic lifting, awkward object strongman-type lifting, bodyweight lifting including handstand work, along with running and swimming for cardio health and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) and eating healthy (lots of fruits and veggies, lots of good protein and good fats, and generally less than 150 grams of carbs per day max). I try to meditate and practice mindfulness throughout the day often, based off of Eckhart Tolle's 'Power of Now' type stuff, trained myself to be a slow, deep breather (Scuba Diving actually helped me pay more attention to this too), so generally, I really do try to take care of myself to the fullest extent. I'm not perfect when it comes to all that stuff, but I really try.

The point is, despite all that, the anxiety and bad feelings never seemed to fully leave after that trip for some reason. I was never able to come to terms with what I felt - I guess because of being so irresponsible that day and it being such a powerful experience, it finally got to the point where I felt the only way to reverse the process was to go back to the place where it came from in the first place - psychedelia. Maybe even go a little further; and that's exactly what I did.

When I trip, I usually like to trip alone. I have tripped with others before. From what I remember, it was with one close friend once, another close friend another time, and my brother twice. When I was younger, I felt it was easier to trip with other people. The reason I like to trip alone now is because of a couple reasons: I feel that I can get more out of the experience. I am an introvert, I'm pretty intuitive, pretty emotional, yet laid back. Because of being an intuitive introvert, I don't like distractions while tripping. I feel I can learn a lot if only I can just be left alone. Also, because of being emotionally sensitive naturally, I tend to be bothered by little things easily when I am tripping. If someone says something that could be taken the wrong way, I will probably take it that way. Therefore, I have realized that when I trip alone, I almost always tend to have a much better time, with the exception of a few cases.

 I have realized that when I trip alone, I almost always tend to have a much better time, with the exception of a few cases.

 Also, when I'm alone, I can do what I want, when I want. I can watch TV. I can watch what I want on TV. I can turn off the TV. I can put on music. I can listen to whatever music I want. I can put it at whatever volume I want. I can go outside. I can go inside. I can get naked if I damn well please. When I trip with other people, I can't do that stuff. As a matter of fact, many times I have ended up having to prepare some meal for them that they want during my peak that I have no desire to do, or I have to listen to their crappy music, or listen to them talk about some bullshit I have no interest in. Or they act like idiots and bring down my trip. Now trust me, I am not anti-social by any means, and I like my friends, but tripping is something special to me. Something sacred. It's a sensitive situation for me. When it's just me, I'm in control, and I alone. Much less to worry about. I do like to have 1 or 2 people know I am tripping though, so I can call them on the phone if I feel I really need to talk to someone for whatever reason. Ultimately though, I like tripping alone.

I should also note, that I consider myself a drug addict. Not to psychedelics though. My drug of choice was usually opiates, specifically oxycodone. I hadn't done oxycodone in months, but I do still have a Kratom habit. I always liked Kratom because it's relaxing yet stimulating at the same time, and I can function while on it. There was a point earlier this year though when even that got out of control. Now granted I was taking oxycodone along with it and that pushed my tolerance and level of dependency WAY up, and I had a HORRIBLE time withdrawing (gabapentin saved me there). At one point I was up to 40 grams of Krat a day, plus whatever oxy I had slugged down that day. I quit that habit though and went a little over a couple months and felt almost back to normal, when I picked up the Kratom habit again, just not as intense this time, and no oxycodone. I never want to go back to that nasty drug. Anyway, so at this point I do have a mild Kratom dependency as well. I enjoy Kava occasionally too, but I did not take it the day of this trip.

So, I had just gotten back from a week at the beach with my family, and I had the house to myself. I called work and told them I would be out an extra day. Now was finally the time. I felt good that day, was in a good mindset, the weather was beautiful out... a little nervous and apprehensive, but understandably I suppose. I took some Kratom, because I didn't want to start withdrawing in the middle of my trip. I didn't really take enough to get high, just enough to relax a little and keep myself from withdrawing later on. I didn't want to take the chance of fogging my trip up.

This was around 12:00 PM or so. At about that time, I then made some Ginger tea (with real Ginger), and proceeded to mix in approx 400 mg of Mescaline. I drank it over the course of about 45 minutes, starting at 12:15 and finishing it at about 1. By 1:30 I was certainly feeling it, but it was nothing too intense. No nausea, probably thanks to the ginger. Now I'm not sure if mescaline is always as mild as it was at that dosage, but I thought either maybe it had degraded a bit since I got it (I kept it in a cool dark, airtight space for about a year), or I got jipped, or my tolerance is high to mescaline, or whatever, I don't know. I felt more aware, colors were brighter, I was relaxed and mellow. It felt like a really strong dose of the nootropic Aniracetam.

By 2:00 it hadn't gotten much stronger and I realized I was looking for something more than this. After all, I never get the chance and I needed to take advantage of this day. So, I split a tab of acid (supposedly 130 ug per tab), and dropped it at about 2:00. I felt my trip indeed get stronger within 30 minutes, but concluded that I could still take the second half and feel comfortable, so I did, at about 2:30. Well now things were rolling. I felt so relaxed and mellow, I went outside and watched the trees blowing in the wind, which as beautiful. It was something I learned to appreciate years ago through my own, but now it was even more astounding. I could see every leaf on every branch so clear, all at the same time. I put my feet in the pool, and it felt great. I felt I would have been able to hold a conversation easily. I was thinking of going in, but I knew if I went upstairs to change into my bathing suit, I would probably get lost and distracted and not end up coming back down, which is exactly what happened.

Now I think it's interesting to note, I had tripped plenty of times before, but I rarely remember feeling this mellow. It may have been the mescaline, since I had only taken it once before at a lower dose (~250 mg) and remember feeling mellow in the same way. Rarely would I feel excessively mellow on acid. So it seemed as if even though the acid really bumped up my trip to a good, solid, strong level, the mescaline kept me calm and in touch with that feeling of being spiritually connected, which I heard mescaline can do (and can confirm that it does). Acid alone, while always giving great insights, would usually feel somewhat hollow to me. Hence my trip was filled in nicely with a persistent warm spiritual glow in the background.

As I was coming up on my trip more and more, I was fooling around on my guitar, listening and playing to the Paul Butterfield Blue Band's East-West album, and Cream (live in Detroit 1967 - best concert ever!). I was under no delusions that I was playing any better than I would have sober, but I don't think it was half bad either. Though in the past I have come out with some amazing solos while tripping, just not this time. It got to the point where I didn't feel like playing or listening or doing anything, so I turned it all off and laid down on my bed and closed my eyes.

At this point it was probably around 3:30. Some of the most beautiful visuals came into focus. Different than shroom-like visuals, which for me involve living things, morphing and changing into other landscapes and living things. This was more just patterns and designs. They weren't overly geometrical, but were more fluid, thanks to the mescaline I think. At one point, I was flying through a neon void traversing between what looked like yellow neurons, and I came to feel as if these were the neurons in my brain. They weren't firing anything, but all I had to do was tell them to start working, and they did. At that point, I felt a sudden rush of calm and euphoria and I immediately felt more at one with everyone and everything in the universe. I don't know if it was psychological or what, but it was THAT easy to fix the problem. I felt I had reversed the anxiety that was created over a year ago. It emptied from my mind. It was like a catharsis that wasn't painful or difficult at all.

I enjoyed the visuals for awhile longer, and then felt like I started to come down. I got up and started walking around, not really knowing what to do with myself at this point. It was around 4:00 and I felt lost, so I just put the TV on and started watching 'Friends'. Then it hit me... why not take some MDMA and candyflip? The bad stuff was gotten out of my mind... why not fill it with some good love and bliss now and solidify a positive everlasting experience?

I went in my drawer and pulled it out. Solid crystal MDMA. I had rolled on this batch before, about a year prior, so I knew it was legit. This was real MDMA... pure and potent. At about 4:15, I weighed out about 80 mg and licked my finger and ate it all. Washed it down with water. A half hour passed and I felt a little more energy, but not much, and I was on an empty stomach. I thought maybe I should take a little more? So I did, another 30 mgs. That is about 110 mgs. Well, another 30 minutes passed, and still only mild effects. 'Well, I feel happy, and loving but I guess this is all that I'm gonna fe... oHH GODOD!!!'

At about 5:30. that shit hit so hard and so fast. The first thing I noticed was everything on the TV was moving faster than usual. Like it was moving twice the speed. I thought it was the TV at first, but when I looked around the room and out the window and saw EVERYTHING moving that fast, I knew it wasn't the TV, it was me. It was like everything was on fast forward. Suddenly the outlines of everything started spinning and rotating and morphing. The music on TV from a commercial triggered twirling spiraling crystals everywhere in my line of sight. My heart rate jumped up to about 160 bpm. I broke out in a cascade sweat. I got double vision and everything was shaking. I got REALLY nervous. My life actually flashed before my eyes because it was so intense... TOO intense. Then I was thinking, shit... should I have mixed mescaline and MDMA? They are both phenylethylamines, plus LSD is kind of stimulating as it is... did I make a mistake by taking this?

I was thinking, shit... should I have mixed mescaline and MDMA? They are both phenylethylamines, plus LSD is kind of stimulating as it is... did I make a mistake by taking this?

 Am I gonna have a heart attack? I got seriously nervous. I had taken MDMA before, like I said, even this batch, but this was too much. I got a very bad feeling that I had done something really wrong. I lost sight of the fact that the come up on pure MDMA can be a little rough and jarring, and that it would probably level out in about 5 or 10 minutes maybe. But I couldn't think straight. I was on serious overload. I freaked out and ran over to my drawer and immediately popped two 5 mg Valiums and laid down and started breathing as slow and deep and talked myself down as well as I could. After about 15 minutes my body started calming down. I still felt the MDMA, but it wasn't as intense. I probably could have gotten away with just one Valium, but I freaked. Even then, after the Valium, I was laying in my bed, my eyes rolled back, my lip quivering, my jaw grinding, sweating, trying to talk to myself down and sounding like I had a mental disorder when the words came out. It was like a continuous orgasm throughout my entire body. It felt good and bad at the same time.

I called my brother who is a teenager who hadn't tried any form of ecstasy yet and was still down the beach with my parents and I thoroughly convinced him and his friends to NOT take his MDA which he was planning on doing down the shore at the teen night club. Mostly because I was paranoid for him and was sure that everyone WOULD know when it kicked in if they took it - the bouncers at the club, who would possibly kick them out and/or call the cops, our parents, and who knows whatever else some asshole would do if they saw a couple of skinny teenagers too fucked up and high on E to do anything to protect themselves. I was rolling hard so I guess my parent mindset kicked in for him (and I don't even have any kids). Considering he's still young, it certainly wouldn't have been a good thing at all. I convinced him against it considering what I had just experienced (and what I was still experiencing) and felt better about it afterwards. After my MDMA started wearing off a little more, I took some more Kratom, a normal dose, and then felt alright after that kicked in. I danced with myself in the room for awhile and listened to music, and finally was able to relax a little.

I then got the idea in my head that well, why not top the night off with some DMT? The vape-pen was already packed with it, and I was feeling pretty relaxed from all the residual effects of everything else I had taken. I turned the lights off and finished the load (which was probably somewhere around 50 mg or so) in 2 pulls.

I laid back and closed my eyes. The first thing I saw was a serious of kaleidoscopic circles. They morphed into what looked like the ceiling of some sort of strange alien laboratory. A strange creature was above me, looking down at me. I immediately realized I was being observed and experimented on. It was a strange creature, looking almost like a serious a multicolored ribbons and tentacles morphing into each other, kind of like strands of DNA but smoother around the edges, no 'ladder' type things. Anyway a big part of a brown ribbon came down and brushed my face, or did something to my face, near my nose, and then I was elevated of the table and saw the creature morph and merge into energy whih pointed to the right. It kept pointing to the right and moved to the right so with my eyes still closed I turned my head to the right, and was presented with more of those same creatures sitting around what looked like a small table. They were discussing something important in a language I didn't understand. However, I got the message that in exchange for allowing them to observe me, they would give me something in return. This in my opinion turned out to be some sort of ancient knowledge, or so it seemed. That's the impression and feeling I got. One of the creatures, a female, stated something about 3 men. There was an origin of 3 men, though I wasn't sure who or what or from where, or even if they were men in the human sense. Then it seemed as if she opened her mouth, put her hands on her cheeks and started screaming, though it sounded like a low hum. I got the feeling she was being extradited by the others. She flew up and became what we know as rain, which formed into a tree of some sort, sort of like a palm tree, whih then became a flowering palm tree, and faded off into the distance, again to the right. That's when the DMT mostly wore off. What did this mean?

Before going to bed I had orange juice with some Maqui berry powder mixed in (strongest antioxidant berry in the world), made some chamomile tea, took some 5-HTP (about 200 mg) mixed with Vitamin B6 and just relaxed and watched TV the rest of the night. I did try masturbating, which took me about 2 and 1/2 hours to finish. Being on everything I was on, I really shouldn't have been surprised. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 in the morning, and woke up 2 hours late for work. Oops.

I was pretty tired that whole next day, a little out of it, and I had kind of a shitty headache, but all in all not too bad. I think I took too much MDMA considering I had mescaline (another phenylethylamine) in my system and LSD which also makes one more sensitive to everything. If I had just taken 60 or maybe 70 mg I think it would have been a better experience and more manageable.

Anyway, it's been a few days now and I honestly say I feel better than I did before that day. I feel like I am closer to who I was before that shitty trip last year, and I feel that I have more power to stop taking Kratom as well, which I plan to do starting tomorrow. It did help me see that I shouldn't need drugs on a regular basis, even something as mild as Kratom, and that eventually it will be very easy to live life without them. I currently have a lot of goals I am striving and working towards, so it is a good thing. Many people would listen to my story and see an addict using rationalization, justification or whatever for just taking more drugs, but I consider psychedelics and even MDMA to be very different kinds of drugs than say heroin or cocaine, or even Kratom. 'A drug is a drug is a drug' is not always necessarily true I feel. Psychedelics and empathogens certainly can be very beneficial and have their place if used correctly and responsibly. I feel stronger, and clearer and ready to move on now. There will still be more trips and rolls in the future, but I need the addictive stuff out of my life. And I will forever be wondering about those 3 men. A Psychedelic Catharsis of Mystery and Intensity indeed.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104105

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 29

Published: Oct 27, 2021	Views: 919

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MDMA (3), LSD (2), Mescaline (36) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 vaporized
		 Cannabis
		 (extract)

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

I want to start by saying that I have had a lot of experience with LSD, and I was in a depression because of my mother recently passing away. Following a long break I wanted to trip hard. I bought a 10 strip of LSD and was warned by my dealer that they were very strong, but having a doubt since most if not all dealers say it's very strong, decided to eat 2. I was at home on a summer morning with no plans and was ready to trip. I take a few hits of a dab pen, put the tabs in my mouth and run a bath to ease into the trip. I have ginger ale to aid with my nausea and I get ready. Nothing could prepare me for what would come next.

I am watching The Office on my phone as I start to feel it. First effects were slight nausea and general feeling of unease.

I start to feel it. First effects were slight nausea and general feeling of unease.

 Then without warning I was catapulted into a psychedelic headspace.

I started to panic because my mind was slipping away from me and the nausea was increasing, as I am constantly drinking the ginger ale. The Office starts to make no sense at all, seeming like random scenes with no context whatsoever, I start to get paranoid as I am starting to forget even who I am. About 30 minutes pass, where I am trying to stay calm as the world around me warps and glows into something I couldn't recognize. My phone dies and shows a strange message I had never seen before or after. A URL is at the top directing me to apple support, so I leave my bathroom to use my computer to follow the link. As I walk I notice I am very dizzy and my visuals are incredible. A picture of my wall has its contents spilling out onto the wall and floor.

I get to my computer to enter the URL when I get this feeling that I am dying. How and why I think this is a struggle to explain, but I had thought that I had died and was being told via google. I remember thinking, “The User will have realized that he is dead” along with some other less coherent thought I struggle to remember. My heart dropped and panic set in. I threw my phone and ran away from my computer. My heart was racing as I sat on my bathroom floor begging God to save me. After doing this for about 10 minutes, I finally started to calm down. I got back into the bathtub and stared at the wall in silence. Time slips by and I start forgetting who and what I am. I feel as though I am on a rollercoaster in my mind in hell, switching lives with people and forgetting everything about me. I was totally bare and had no concept of anything. My thoughts were incoherent and were gibberish. I remember opening my eyes and looking at my body, confused because I wasn’t sure who or what I was. I felt like my Brain had completely had a factory reset, not even understanding I was a human. When I would close my eyes I would see the most elaborate art surrounding me.

As the trip gets less intense, I relearn every aspect of life. This started with emotion, and the first emotion I learned was sadness. I remember seeing a little orange symbol to describe the emotion, a mental image that has burned into my brain. Following that I learned about death, and how terrible of a thing it is. I learned what it meant to hate and what it is to love. I felt like a baby discovering the world for the first time. I then remembered that my mom had passed and was confused on whether that should bother me, or if I am overreacting to feel so bad. I felt like my life was being wasted. Following the peak I went to talk to my brother. We were sitting on the back porch, and the sky was blue and there was a cool breeze running through the air. I was mesmerised by the beauty I was beholding. The tree leaves moving in the wind looked like infinite geometric patterns going into themselves and I asked my brother many questions. My brother and I have different moms, and I had asked him if it was a big deal that she had passed. He responds by saying it's a huge deal and it's okay to be sad about it. Then I asked him if he thought that I was falling behind other people my age, and he said nobody has it figured out and not to worry. This was one of the most calming and reassuring experiences in my life. After this I listened to music, smoked a cigarette, and then cleaned my room after weeks of neglect. I felt good for the first time in a long time.

I felt good for the first time in a long time.

That night I had been smoking weed and relaxing and watching a Terrence McKenna video, where he discussed how schizophrenic people used to be a major part in a tribe, and acted as a shaman. After him saying this my heart dropped, like when I had thought I was dying. A few days following the trip I had anxiety related to that, which has now subsided. The trip, even though it was scary, had a very positive impact on me. I was out of my depressive rut and was back into a schedule, working out again, and had a much better outlook on life. I owe this trip a lot, it shocked me back to life, even if it did so by killing me.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115822

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Oct 29, 2021	Views: 872

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LSD (2) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 4 glasses
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

I've been curious about acid ever since I was in high school but has never been granted the opportunity to experience it. Being 23 years old and living in a small Australian suburb I often wonder and even worry whether I'll ever get to try acid. I've done weed, speed and ecstasy but never anything beyond this. The idea of hallucinating fascinates me and movies like Fear and Loathing are my cup of tea. The other week I decided to send  some stray messages around to some mates to see if they could get hold of any lsd. One of my mates immediately replied with a positive answer. I was over whelmed with the thought of getting some fuking acid! He said he’d just got some new stuff in that was %80 mdma and %20 acid.  I was disappointed to hear that only %20 of the trip was acid but was still obviously quite keen to try it. He also said that they were $35 each which I knew was overpriced for acid, however the price was quite unconcerning to me really.

So the other day I rang old mate and he said he had sold all of the tabs but had saved me 1.5. At 8pm Friday night my mate came round and warned me to take only have half because it was strong he said. I found this quite strange considering the percent ratio. I got my usual weekly supply of  e’s along with the 1.5 tabs. Being a humble pill taker I often double drop to get the effect and thought that I better take at least one whole tab. Another mate R was over at the time getting some pills and said that he would like half as well. So I traded him a half of the tab for half of a pill. The tabs were tiny just under 1 cm squared and was a white piece of paper with a red love heart on it.

I was probably about 4 beers up at this point and me and R drove to his place to work out what we should do for the night. I didn’t really care what I did that night as this was my first acid experience. No more than 5 minutes had passed before we eagerly dropped the tabs. The time was about 8.30pm. I put it on my tongue and rolled it around and it tasted a bit bitter but not as bitter as I thought it would. When the taste had gone I swallowed the paper. A good 40 minutes passed before we could feel anything. This was my mates R’s first acid time too so he was a bit skeptical. I was sitting at the table watching tv and R was pacing around the room almost agitated. I kept saying what are you doing? Sit down. And he didn’t really reply.

J rang R and was talking to him on the phone and R looked at me and said that it was starting to kick in. I agreed and we both begun to get energy waves. Similar to the come on feeling I get with pills. We decided to go get some drinks around the corner, R wasn’t drinking but I was a bit weary of the acid kicking in when he was driving. We pulled up at the drive through and sat looking at the display piece of the car. Every object or panel or design in the car began to literally move. The colours had this amazing fluro 3D tweak. 2 six packs of OP rum please, I said to the drivethru guy. Me and R both laughed and commented on how the car was moving.

We got back to R’s house and J and C were waiting out the front to collect their pills. Me and R both started laughing and we all went inside. As soon as I got in the kitchen I was confronted and absorbed with an amazing set of visuals. The table was constantly flowing and moving, and waves of fluro purple and green and orange smothered the room. J and C asked me what I was doing as I was standing in the kitchen for over 10 minutes just staring at things. I told them how the table was moving.

Everything was alive! It was like someone had just opened a big motherfucking can of worms. Everything was spilling out of everything and constantly moving. I looked at the floor and it was inundated with holes and maggot type movements. Like a boneyard setting or something. Unreal! I was literally speechless just soaking in all of these visuals. I looked at my skin and it was moving too, fluro blue worms were inconspicuously moving around under my skin. It was amazing. During all of this I was continuously called by another mate A to get them pills and said we would meet up with them soon.

Me R, C and J drove to A’s place. I believe it was peaking at this point and A came out and talked to us. He then went inside and I followed and soon as I hit the lights through his door A’s room had turned into another living breathing moving colourful sanctuary. I looked at A’s face and it was moving and blurry, and he started saying something but it was almost in slow motion. And I couldn’t hear what he said I just looked at him with utter confusion. His face was warping out and his skin was yellowish.

I just looked at him with utter confusion. His face was warping out and his skin was yellowish.

 It reminded me of the scene in Fear and Loathing where he trips out on the cash lady. This was actually happening I thought. My first acid experience. It was as good if not better than I had expected.

I had decided that this acid was quite secure and clean. I doubt R was experiencing the level I was, and knew that taking half would be a waste of time really. As this was my first time I didn’t really care what my friends were doing as I was consumed with the surreal visual hallucinations that the mighty LSD had promised. Perhaps that statement was a bit too light as I found myself sitting in a ferry terminal carpark at 12.00am on a Friday night by myself. Between these visuals, paranoid friends, and pill and weed searching I had found myself separated from R, J, C and A.

A and his friends dragged me to the ferry terminal where they were going to a full moon party on the island. As much of this idea probably would have been perfect while on acid, I was not prepared to just jump on a fuking ferry and cruise off so I stopped following them and sat on the grass. If I were appropriately dressed, funded and prepared I may of gone with them but did not think it was a good idea otherwise. So here I am first time on acid and I'm peaking, probably, by myself. How sad I thought.

I soon started to feel that I been betrayed and left behind. It was at this point I knew some people freak out and have a ‘bad trip’. I was actually quite confused and couldn’t really work out why I even got in the car with A and his mates. It all happens so fast and I just kinda go with the flow. I had never felt a feeling of time loss as much as I did at this point. Obviously I should of stayed with R and J and C. Anyway I realized I had kinda fuked that up so I had to find a way home. And I only had about six dollars in my wallet, of course, so this was yet to be another mission in itself. Oi (*&amp;^%&amp;*&amp;^%) G yelled out.

I walked over to G and looked into his pupil enlarged demon pill eyes and wondered whether he was on acid too but doubted it. I didn’t even tell him I was on acid. I didn’t even really care. I got home and tried to work out what I should do. I tried calling my mates but I couldn’t get on to any of them. The hallucinations were still thriving and I was again captivated by the room I was in. My general vision was – objects were a bit blurry, colourful and warping. But if I focused in on an object it would start doing it’s own thing. Almost like I could control the visuals of each object. When I focused on the right speaker of my stereo it moulded into a face that kept changing and moving. It moved in waves with intervals of 1 second. Like it was posing for me or something. It resembled a carton Disney type creature. Kind of like Pinocchio.

I didn’t sleep that night and visuals had returned to normal by the late morning. The hangover was nothing worse than your normal pill binger. In fact the hang over was quite neglectable. Anyway cut a long story short, that night was definitely the best drug experience, possibly my best night I've ever had. The visuals were orgasmic. A definite thumbs up. Will I try it again? Definitely. Will I plan my night better next time? Absolutely   =)

[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 66063

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Dec 6, 2021	Views: 474

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LSD (2) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		 5 g
		 oral
		 Amanitas - A. muscaria
		 (capsule)

		   T+ 2:30
		 0.5 g
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 2:30
		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   T+ 2:30
		 3 hits
		 smoked
		 Salvia divinorum
		 (extract)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

I recently acquired some blotter, which I was told were 300ug per tab -- I doubted that, more likely it was around 100ug.  Anyway, I placed one sublingually and held it there about an hour and a half.  Then I chewed it to mush and swallowed.  I then swallowed about 5g of dried amanita muscaria powder in gelcap form.

I waited about half an hour, then smoked a fair amount of cannabis sativa out of a bong.  I went outside and had a cigarette in my driveway.

Patterms in the grass began to appear and everything began to take on a very interesting appearance.  Colors were brighter, lines more well defined, and it was very pleasant.

I went back inside, and loaded about 1/4 gram of 15x salvia into my bong.  I hit it with a lighter, making sure to keep the flame in direct contact while I inhaled.  I managed to get 3 hits out of it, leaving behind white ash.

I barely made it to my bed, and lost my awareness.  The hallucinations were WEIRD -- but interesting, and not really terrifying so much as intensely confusing. Have you ever had a sudden realization that made your spine tingle? It was like that, but thousands of times stronger.

It was also intensely familiar. It is hard to explain, but I went to a 'place' on Salvia that gave a very strong feeling of deja vu. I felt like this is the REAL reality, this salvia space, and everything before the trip was just a sick joke.

I felt like this is the REAL reality, this salvia space, and everything before the trip was just a sick joke.

  I knew a secret that you aren't supposed to know, a secret kept from me for my own good, and now the gods are laughing at me. It's like tasting the fruit, only to recognize that you've been naked the entire time.

In this salvia space, I got these sudden realizations, and it felt IMPERATIVE that I remember them. I became convinced that there are an infinite number of parallel realities, all of them predestined and static, but that our conscious decisions move our perception in between realities. This thing-perceiving exists prior to and without any memories, but acquires the memories of the host that it exists within in each reality. Time moves according to the pace of decision making. These realities exist without meaning, randomly within the infinite nothing, having come into existence without reason, and will return to nothing. The only meaning is to perceive them.

Then, I was hit with all of these sudden realizations about myself. My mind was flooded with thoughts, and I instantly knew the answer to every question. It is not pleasant to realize that you have been lying to yourself. It's not pleasant to realize the very finite nature of your life, the meaninglessness of your hobbies, the extent of your flaws.

The other interesting thing is the way in which it changes perception of self. Close your eyes, and think about your consciousness. Where is it coming from? That place behind your eyes? Imagine your entire body as just a thing you 'have', not as a part of you. Salvia is like seeing what is beyond sight, it's like being a brain in a vat, disconnected from reality. Where are you? Do you even exist at all?

There is a passage by Mark Twain that best sums up the experience:

&gt;'Life itself is only a vision, a dream.'

&gt;It was electrical. By God! I had had that very thought a thousand times in my musings!

&gt;'Nothing exists; all is a dream. God--man--the world--the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars--a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space--and you!'

&gt;'I!'

&gt;'And you are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me....

&gt;'I am perishing already--I am failing--I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever--for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!

&gt;'You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks--in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.

&gt;'It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream--a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought--a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!'

&gt;He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.

The terrifying part was coming back to reality, recognizing that I was a human, then noticing that my heart was acting strange -- beating arrhythmically -- and I've been drooling all over myself, I was covered in cold sweat, couldn't stop spasming or shivering, and I had been crying and couldn't get up to dial 911 even if I wanted to.  It was believing that I have just discovered the answer to everything, but the answer will be lost as I died shivering and alone.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99564

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 21

Published: Dec 10, 2021	Views: 1,037

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Salvia divinorum (44), Amanitas - A. muscaria (70), LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 3 cups
		 oral
		 Coffee

		 5
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   135 lb

Bad / Psychotic Trip

I had been living with a group of four-ish people for around 2 months when this happened, kinda just chilling at the same house. I was really into one of them. It was a pretty normal day to begin with. Nothing major happened that day to affect my mindset. I'd say I was pretty positive/maybe a little anxious going into this. At around 6:00 pm I drank 3 small cups of black coffee trying to get a caffeine buzz and smoked weed with it.

Sometime after that, we left for another friend's house. They had come back from their plug and had a sheet of unperforated LSD. It kinda just looked like construction paper, it was definitely thicker than a normal tab, and had brown staining on the back of it. It was tasteless though. They offered us pieces for free, and the piece I took was probably about the size of my thumbnail, I guess if it was cut into regular tabs it would've been about four or five. I think we took it at around 11:00 pm. My memory from the peak is fragmented, so midnight to 3 am is just roughly in order.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:00 pm I honestly wasn't too worried right after taking it. I was just felt like whatever would happen would happen. I'd just trip harder than last time I did acid.

I honestly wasn't too worried right after taking it. I was just felt like whatever would happen would happen. I'd just trip harder than last time I did acid.

11:30 pm Someone else (who was on around 3x as much as me, and dropped before we got there) seemed like he was tripping TOO hard. He was starting to say things like "wow", "oh my god", "I didn't know this was possible", and confirming that the acid was way stronger than they thought it was gonna be. This worried me, cause he has done ten strips before. He was still with us though and I think he ended up having an ok trip.

I misinterpreted his reactions, and kinda took it more as like we had taken too much and were gonna not be ok. Hearing this while coming up really hard gave me thoughts of od'ing / fake acid (even though it was completely tasteless).

11:40 pm After that happened I just remember the visuals getting more and more intense, and starting to panic quietly. My entire vision starts to like shake/vibrate and kinda twist then reset back before twisting again.

12:00 am Sometime around midnight I must've just been sitting there looking scared asf / shaking. I have really bad social anxiety, so idk why I didn't just say I wasn't having a good time. But I started just giving glances / looking at people to try to get someone to notice. Someone asked if I was okay, and I remember saying no. Like it was just getting more intense, past what I thought should be happening. I think I tried laying down in the bathroom to calm down, which felt nice but ultimately did nothing to help.

I also took a couple hits of weed at this point to try and calm down (didnt know at the time) and after that my memory just goes out the window, I don't remember too much of what I was thinking during this, and I don't really know what order the next sequence of events comes in:

12:00 - 3:00 am So one thing that happened is, I kept looping walking between their living room, their outside porch, and I think the bathroom. Not really talking to anyone that I can remember. At one point I ended up standing in the lawn just saying the word "hospital" to my friend cause it felt like my skin was burning / I am have a heart attack. (I really think high doses of caffeine are not good to mix with LSD, and probably caused a panic attack.)

I remember standing outside, going between my skin freezing and burning, and my friend (the one I liked) gave me a jacket, and I couldn't figure out how to put it on. So I just ended up wearing it like a blanket. Also, I couldn't remember his name or who he was, I recognized him as someone I know still, but not who. I also couldn't really remember who I was or who anyone was.

I think I ended up in the living room and sat down after this. I remember hitting a bowl one more time and then just closing my eyes and going into a void. After this, I started thinking I was a god and having delusions that I could fly, or just will anything to happen if I thought hard enough.

I also felt simultaneously that I had obviously overdosed on Nbome or something and was dead now, and stuck in some purgatory version of my friend's house cause I died there. Where I would be stuck for eternity as some fucked up test of patience.

With that in mind I started trying to run outside in 30 degree weather / fly / jump out the window. They started trying to keep me inside which was a great idea, but in the acid headspace, everyone felt like they had been replaced by alternate versions of themselves, trying to keep me stuck in this place for eternity. I was just being sus as fuck apparently. Someone told me that during this I performed a very graceful box jump onto their table. I also had my shirt off at some point and lost my bra, and was trying to take off more I remember feeling like I was dead/going to end up in hell after that night, and was trying to hold onto literally anything from this world that meant something to me. Like I was grabbing for things / people, and I think every time someone stopped me from grabbing something it felt like they were doing it on purpose to mock me. Eventually between this, and the trying to run outside, someone had to hold me down. I remember him saying something during this and it sounded like his voice was pitch shifted down which scared tf outta me.

After this they got me into the living room, and laying down on the couch again. I was still having god delusions AFAIK and remembered thinking at least everything would be ok. I still thought I was in purgatory though, and going to be reborn as someone else, somewhere else in the world.

3:00 am This is the first time I remember looking at the clock after coming out of the peak. I just kinda came back to myself while lying on the couch. I felt like all my memories / who I was come back to me. I was still tripping really hard. I ended up just staring at the TV which was like cycling though different Netflix shows to watch, and just enjoying the visuals on some of the backgrounds. They also had a popcorn ceiling, so I ended up just looking at those two things for a couple hours while trying to think if what just happened was real.

6:00 am Someone came in to get something / check on me. I think they asked if I was good and said hi and I replied hesitantly, still feeling kinda unsure if they were the real version(?) of themselves. I kinda got out of that though thinking, okay, even if they aren't, at least everything is back to normal, lol.

8:00 am I go back into their kitchen where a couple people are sitting. Sometime around 7 am my friend took my car to get back to where we were staying. It just feels like the normal comedown of acid now. Visuals are mostly gone unless I focus on something. At this point, I don't realize that everything that happened last night actually happened yet. We end up just smoking weed and sitting quietly / listening to music.

12:00 pm He gets back and I drive us back to where we were staying. I kinda learn a little about what happened last night. I think the embarrassment kept me from asking anymore though. I'm tired af and just go to sleep as soon as we get back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I still don't really know what happened that night, and still haven't learned too much. I don't think I really got anything from it other than trauma, most of the trip was just panicking and being in pain it seems like. I don't even remember any visuals from the peak cause my memory just got blanked for most of it.

I've tripped on LSD / LSA / mushrooms since then and still have good / beneficial trips so at least it hasn't ruined psychedelics for me

at least it hasn't ruined psychedelics for me

, or brought out any mental illness (other than making my anxiety worse for a couple months). I guess just be careful combining LSD with caffeine / weed. I think the caffeine definitely didn't help with the anxiety, but the weed is what really pushed me into losing control it seems. I don't really know what to think happened that night still. I felt like I'd gone "insane" but not schizophrenia insane, I wasn't hearing voices or anything. Was that just a panic attack or some kinda temporary psychosis?

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115930

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Dec 16, 2021	Views: 1,105

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LSD (2), Cannabis (1), Coffee (173) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)