		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   135 lb

It was the day before Saint Patrick's Day.  It was spring break. I had about one month earlier purchased two hits of LSD from a friend's friend at a small get together.  I have tripped on just about anything you can think of multiple times before this, but this would be my first LSD experience.  I was very excited that I had finally found some LSD because it is VERY hard to find in my particular area.  I had spent almost 6 months researching LSD and reading reports and all that jazz to help prepare myself.  I always read facts, and then reports constantly before I try a substance.  Some people like to clean their house, do yoga, pray, etc, to prepare their minds; I like to read reports online and study.

I was at my house on this fine, cloudy and slightly chilly day, when I dosed at 12:30.  I placed the first hit on my tongue and let it sit until it got soggy to the point of disintegrating, I decided to swallow it just to get my money's worth.  I repeated again with the second piece and did the same with it.  Then just in case I licked the hell out of the inside of the plastic sack they had been sitting in (I'm not a rich person so I will do anything, even if rediculous, to ensure I get all that I can out of it).

I was told by the dealer that the two hits were probably very light doses and I may only experience little tripping to none at all.  I bought them anyhow because, when it's rare I CANNOT pass it up.  I did not let this affect my mindset, I went into the trip not hoping I would trip my balls off and also not thinking nothing might happen.  I was unbiased.  I waited and stared out the window while I played guitar.  I stared for a very long at the stillness of the cloudy day outside when I realized I had almost gone into some sort of trance type state.  I discovered that I had been sitting on the couch staring at the same spot while playing the same monotonous tune for almost one hour!  It was 1:30 now and I was beginning to realize that my trance-like state was being induced by the LSD.  This excited me.

After I realized what was happening the excitement started boosting the trip up very quickly; the more I got excited the more I started to come up, and the more I started to come up the more excited I got.  You get the picture.  I put the guitar down and layed down on the carpet.  I was eye level with the carpet and realized it was now wobbling and undulating smoothly and slowly.  As this continued everything in the room started becoming disproportionate and awkward. My first visual occurred here:  A small end table's legs looked so warped that they almost looked twisted up like a twisty tie.  As soon as I noticed this it took one step towards me...and then another and another.  This was a very powerful hallucination because something that was across the room from me had actually walked over to me and was standing beside me bent over as if it were staring at me like a curious animal.

I stayed on the floor and shut my eyes to avoid seeing the slightly disturbing image of a table staring at me.  I was fine with it, but I didn't want to see it anymore at the time.  As I lay with my eyes shut I felt a huge shadow appear over me (which startled me because I live alone).  I opened my eyes to see my cat standing next to the end table also bent over and staring at me.  This blew my mind for some reason and I got that amazing 'soaring upwards' feeling one gets in the stomach and head while tripping sometimes.  This painted a huge grin across my face and I began laughing hysterically.  I shut my again only to hear immediately 'Psst....Psst... Hey A (we'll call me A), can you understand me?'  I opened my eyes to see the cat staring at me curiously and I realized it was the cat who said it. Again she said without moving her lips 'You can understand me right now can't you?'  In amazement I replied 'Yes, I can Pandy.  I think it's because i'm in a heightened state of mind.'  She almost looked like she smiled and said 'You can always hear my thoughts in this state.'  She turned and walked away.  By this time I had already experienced more realistic hallucinations than I ever have before and was very surprised and pleased that the acid was going so strong and pleasantly.

Many other odd things happened like that for quite sometime inside the house.  I put on the Jefferson Airplane album 'Bark'.  I got my weenie dog out of his cage and played with him and we danced and romped like crazed people for at least an hour.  And not to leave it out but there was some kind of a talking eye on Wester's (the weenie dog) back.  It only mumbled and twitched and spoke giberish though.

At this time my mind was racing, I could not decide what I wanted to do.  It seemed like every thought (which were hitting me at a rate of about 400 per second) was the greatest idea I had ever had and how badly I wanted to carry out that idea.  I was so confused on what to do that I actually just paced all over my house headed to do things and when I would get there I would see something else I wanted to do.  I was really having a FUN FUN FUN time.

It was now time to go outside.  I went into my backyard and looked at all the beautiful colors.  Everything was just a few shades off from its normal color.  This was awe inspiring it was so beautiful.  Blues were more violet than blue, yellows more orange than yellow, reds more pink than red and so on.  All very mellow almost pastel colors though.  It was a pastel day.  The grass seemed to have order to it instead of just a lot of grass growing everywhere.  I got the impression that every piece of grass was working with one another to form some kind of a huge pointless undescribable geometric pattern.  Everything seemed 'right where it should be' as I said aloud.  I never figured it out if it was real or not, but I was amazed to see and hear what seemed to be millions upon millions of black birds everywhere; flying, in the trees, on the other houses, on the ground.  The sky was black with them.  The next day there was no bird poop anywhere to be found so I kind of think it was all fake.  But who knows, it did rain a little bit later that night.

I took a walk around the neighborhood several times that day.  Trees looked like swirling thorns with bulbs at the base of each branch and twig that swirled constantly in an upward motion like that of a twirling candy cane tube that you see outside of an old fashioned barber shop.  Cars, houses, people, mailboxes, all seemed like they were flattened or stretched horizontally like you can do with photos on a computer.  My basic mindset the whole day was utter amazement and love for everything I saw.  Everything seemed perfect.  My mind was taken over by the sheer beauty of the day.  This was very cleansing for me because I now know that most of this beauty was there all along, I just never took time to really think about it.  I now perceive color not necessarily differently from other people, but I see everything from color to life in general a little more in depth.  It's very hard to explain but basically as trippy as it all was the trip just showed me it was there all along.  It gave me a feeling that my eyes had been opened and I saw with a new light and appreciation for everything.  And this is still in affect to this day. It changed me forever.  I no longer take anything for granted, I can see good and beauty in everything no matter how terrible or ugly it may be.

I must apalogize for how long this is, but it would actually take me at least another 3 or 4 full pages to complete the trip (what is actually able to be put into words anyway).  To cut it short many more things I happened, a thanksgiving wreath followed me home from a gas station I was at buying cigarettes, I smoked a small bowl of weed, which erupted about a 3 hour long ego trip that was much needed, and was quite cleansing.  I got in the hot tub and thought all my flesh had melted off and was floating at the top of the water, which didn't bother me because I had in mind that I was only tripping and it was actually very amusing.  I could see my heart beating about 3 inches out of my chest (a little scary for a while). I heard crickets, was surrounded by them, picked up on high pitch frequencies, saw it rain backwards (rain shot out of the ground past me and into the sky). Also I listened to the Beatles 'Abbey Road' which I now consider the most psychedelic album ever created.

Altogether I tripped from 12:30pm to 10:30 pm.  About 10 hours altogether.  No bad experiences the entire time (due to reading experience reports online).  Always keeping a happy and positive mind going into tripping,  I think that's the key. Nothing can go wrong.  I have been changed forever by this wonderful substance, but I plan not to use it anymore because of spiritual reasonings in my heart.  I'll stick to the cannabis and shrooms I believe.  Oh yes, one more thing, every time I smoke cannabis now I have miniature ego trips, sometimes harsh ones, and I don't mind it.  It always seems to point out what is wrong in my life and how I can be a better person to other people and teaches me how to become closer to my God.  that is all folks.  Happy tripping! peace

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 37628

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Nov 15, 2005	Views: 21,980

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LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

Some Backgound

My first LSD trip was a relatively weak fractal blotter taken on the second night of Phish's 'IT' festival over the summer. The emotions, the music, the 70,000 person glow stick war, all were perfect. The LSD heightened, but did not distract me from the incredible experience at hand. My second LSD trip was another weak blotter. Very weak visuals, but a very nice mental change and great music enhancement made for a fun night. My third LSD trip blew the door wide open. During this trip it became obvious that LSD had a lot to teach me, and this first real trip simply outlined the lesson plan revolving around peace, love, friendship, and psychedelia.

My fourth LSD trip was a complete overwhelming of my senses. For a couple hours I could do little but sit in one place absorbing all the sensory input that was flooding my brain. Then I started to draw three dimensional solar systems with my finger in front of my face, flicking the planets around their orbits and setting the system in motion. On the comedown, I was able to let all the sensory input coalesce into the second lesson: Apply the ideals of peace, love, friendship, and psychedelia which are obvious at the height of an LSD trip to my real life. Become a more peaceful, loving, friendly, and individual person.

The Trip

This trip took place almost two months ago, so I may fast-forward through blocks of time if I can't remember anything really interesting happening during that time.

I had two 'eyeball' blotters, one blue and one orange, saved with the intention of taking LSD with my girlfriend for her first real trip. She had one of the weak blotters from my second trip, but apparently got less from the experience than did I.

The eyeball blotters were from the same batch of silver crystal as the flies that blew me away on my third trip (see report above). However, while the flies were said to be 80 to 90 micrograms of silver, the eyeballs were said to be about 160 micrograms. Others who had tried the eyeballs said they were stronger than the flies, so I was ready for an intense experience.

 [Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Our decision to trip was a spontaneous group decision. There would be four of us tripping that night: Myself, with an orange eyeball; My girlfriend, Psilosara, with a blue eyeball; My buddy 'T', with 16mg of 2C-I; and a new friend 'M', with about 25mg of 2C-B.

T always takes a long time to feel his 2C-I, so he dosed around 7:30pm. Psilosara and I dosed around 8:30pm, and M dosed around 9:00pm because we couldn't find him for a while. I knew the acid was real after about 10 minutes, because I could already feel the slight mental change taking place. During the comeup, T wanted to boil his pipe clean in the kitchen of our on-campus theme house. Sure, go for it dude. Soon the whole house smelled like boiling resin, and we decided we should keep the weedy smells to a reasonable level while tripping, so we opened some windows and considered the pipe boiling done.

The comeup was strange, because I spent a fair amount of time half-tripping and feeling like I was in limbo. Psilosara apparently felt this even more, and she wanted to go upstairs and listen to some music in my room, so we all went up there and put on some mellow tunes. This was around 10:00pm, and T was just starting to trip, and M wasn't feeling anything except a little 'off'. I told him he wouldn't be peaking on the 2C-B for another hour and a half and that the first 2 hours on 2C-B were usually pretty lame and uneventful. Meanwhile I closed my eyes and let the music absorb me. As I closed my eyes I was greeted with CEVs of my body folding in upon itself over and over again. I meditated on this and it became quite intense until I saw Psilosara pop in to view until her face was in front of mine. I thought I was seeing through my eyelids but when I opened my eyes she was still sitting on the bed to my side.

Around this point I noticed that I was very high.

The LSD 'high' is unlike any other that I've experienced. It does not stone me like cannabis, DXM, or AMT. It doesn't give me a 'buzz' like 2C-I, mescaline, or cannabis. It also doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy like mdma or opiates. Instead, the LSD high is a combination of a feeling of pleasant vibration, a 'pull' upwards that makes me feel light and floaty like I can partially defy gravity, and a great feeling of awe and enlightenment. I can feel the LSD pumping through my arteries. The change in the way my body works under the influence of LSD feels drastic, but fortunately it also feels relatively harmless, especially compared to most of the phenethylamines I've tried.

Everybody was smoking pot, but I only took one hit because pot likes to raise my heart rate, sometimes by a good margin. My heart rate is one of the only things that ever scares me whilst tripping, so I've learned to keep the pot to a minimum, especially on drugs that already increase my heart rate. Anyway the one hit was enough to relax me and synergize nicely with the LSD high.

We went downstairs to Psilosara's room, which is decorated with lots of cool tapestries and strange and colorful lights and lamps. It is a very trippy and cozy room. I leaned back against her bed and looked at the wood grain on her dresser, and watched as the entire image of her dresser repeated in on itself until there were infinite representations of itself within the larger image. This occured right as T and M asked 'what I was seeing'. I was also watching the lights wiggle around, and carpet crawl, and some really bright blue and green lines surround the edges of many objects. As always with LSD, my vision was impossibly crisp and the visuals were of amazing detail and clarity.

We chilled here for a while, talking about random stuff which I can't recall. I remember having a hard time finding a comfortable position on the bed, and thinking my insides were caving in. I realized a few minutes later that this was because of the way I was sitting, and adjusted myself much to my comfort.

At one point I noticed the entire room take on a dark, scary theme. My visuals became eerie, and my 'high' took on an uncomfortable feeling. For some reason I was starting to have a bad trip, but I didn't know why. I tried to hide my fear and work it out in my head as the others continued their conversations. I could feel the life being sucked out of me, and I feared that I would spend the next several hours freaking out. But then I remembered that everything that happens on LSD happens for a reason, and I began thinking back about my last LSD trip and what I had learned. I realized that I had done a reasonably good job applying the teachings to my life, and I did consider myself a better person because of it.

I started to feel a little better...

Then it came to me: Reconcilation. I need not doubt myself in the face of others. I have chosen my path in life, and that is one of love and spontaneity. And that is wonderful. I had reconciled with myself! No longer would I need to feel shame or self-disappointment for small failures.

I started feeling *much* better!

Then I thought, 'Thank you LSD'...

The wave of euphoria that washed over me right as I thought that is indescribable. To have gone through pain and fear, and through a very valuable life lesson come to feel as good and alive as I've ever felt in such a short time span was incredible.

Then the room started to turn dark again, and I looked over at Psilosara and noticed she looked a little sad. I made eye contact with her and smiled, and as she smiled back at me the room lit up with joy. She looked absolutely beautiful. Throughout the night she had been acting with the confidence and honesty that I know she always has in her, but she wasn't holding back and it was wonderful. I looked at her sitting in the chair in front of her desk, and watched as all the objects around her: her computer, her lava lamp, her posters, her keyboard, etc, turned rapidly into different, constantly changing objects. I was amazed, seeing her in all her beauty in a thousand different times and places.

M was enjoying his 2C-B, looking at his hands and laughing about things. Unfortunately communication was difficult for me during this trip, but I felt like we bonded a bit throughout the experience anyway. T was talking about Nirvana and how beautiful and powerful Kurt's music was. It was really great to see how moved he was by the whole thing.

Soon enough T and M left, I guess it was getting late, and besides I like to spend time with Psilosara one-on-one anyway. She went to use the bathroom and I started in the mirror for a while. I was expecting to look into my personality or something like that, but instead the wall around the mirror rotated into a gradual slope, and the image inside the mirror took on a look of a Van Gogh-ish oil painting, constantly in fluid motion. I was amazed at the detail and beauty! Then Psilosara came back in and we tried talking for a while, which was really hard because we both were getting really confused by each other. I said something like 'LSD really confuses you!' and she agreed, so it was perfectly allright. We put the Phish documentary Bittersweet Motel (excellent!) on the DVD player and tried watching that, but we were both too distracted by our thoughts and visuals to devote our full attention to it. Occasionally a part of the DVD would come on where Trey would play an amazing solo, and we'd both watch in awe.

Our trips were winding down by the end of the film, and we had been making out and fooling around during much of the movie anyway (unfortunately sex was not possible for these few days of the month), so as the sun was rising we fell asleep.

We woke up feeling a bit tripped out but overall refreshed and with a whole lot to talk about

peace all-

bluedolphin

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 46848

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Nov 23, 2005	Views: 28,964

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LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 5:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 10:30
		 4.0 mg
		 oral
		 DOC
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

The Timing Of &amp; Order In Which Things Happened

Day 1

4:00pm -- 2 hits of blotter LSD was eaten by me, 2.5 hits by my friend

11:00pm -- Some weed was vaporized (and continued to be done so throughout the night, every few hours or so)

Day 2

2:30am -- 4mg of DOC was eaten by both of us

10:00am -- The approximate time I fall into a not-quite-sleep-but-maybe trance

3:00pm -- I become conscious again (or wake up?) and feel quite rested, still tripping.

10:30pm -- I fall asleep.

Day 3

3:00pm -- I start writing a trip report, and having smoked a bowl I notice definite after effects of the trip.

Why Trip Again?

This is a question that has become harder to answer lately. But, in this case, I just happened to have four and a half hits of LSD and I wanted to share them with my friend Jeff because I would be moving away from him in less than a week. I have many reasons for moving, but parting ways with Jeff is the one thing that really sucks about the whole situation. Let's say I have about four 'best friends'. Unlike some people I never try to narrow that list down to one person, and actually hope that list grows over the course of my life, but either way Jeff would defintely be one of those people.

So I had to take the acid with him. More acid will always come around. It's not like I have 'acid hookups' or anything, but it just does. Plus I hadn't taken LSD since... well, shit, probably since the last time I ate like 8 doses + 4 rolls which turned out to be meth bombs and flipped out for a few days. No wait, haha, actually I took it once towards the end of the summer. But anyway it had still been a while.

And really quite a while since I had any kind of LSD trip like this!

DOC wasn't even part of the plan yet

I Put Two Tabs Of LSD On My Tongue, Jeff Took Two And A Half

I gave him the extra half hit because I'm pretty good at tripping out at lower doses, and also I had no idea if these hits were weak or good or what. I gave away most of the 10-strip I started with to three friends and they had mixed reactions. So...

We went for a walk. First we walked over to his house, not so far from mine. Then we walked over to a nearby lake. By the time we got there I could tell my vision was getting sharper and I could feel the acid was definitely starting to work. Mostly this was manifesting in things looking very beautiful and serene. It was really nice out though. When we got back to my place, where we intended to spend much or all of the trip, we decided to keep walking. So we walked up to a small hill nearby and watched the sun, low in the sky with all kinds of clouds of all different types and layers moving across the sky. By the time we walked back I was feeling the LSD much more definitely, and objects that had simply appeared brighter, sharper, and more outstanding several minutes ago were now starting to subtly rearrange themselves into materials made of shifting, moving patterns, and the larger object itself was starting to shift, grow, or shrink in a cyclical breathing-like way.

So we went back to my room. I don't really know what we did during the come-up. Except, come up. And as it turned out we came up quite high. I remember at 7:00pm we finally realized the time, and I thought, wow, usually I'm not tripping this hard until several hours from now, hahaha.

Around this point several other kids came in my room. They're cool kids, and they've all tripped before and knew what we were up to. However as soon as they came in it was really quite obvious that Jeff and I had so much of a stronger bond than I ever would/could/should/wanted with these other guys. I think Jeff was thinking more or less the same thing, because we sort of shut these other guys out. Basically conveyed the idea to them that we were tripping face to the point where we're too deep inside our heads to chill with them. Which we were.

I think I told them I'd chill with them later for some late night drinking, maybe.

So now it was just myself and Jeff again, sitting across from each other in my room. But things were starting to get a little crazy. For example, if I looked at Jeff he would look like an Egyptian Phraroah. In full costume! And then the 'scenery' behind him would take on an Egyptian theme. If I looked at Jeff right in the eyes I noticed my visuals and trip in general would intensify almost exponentially.

I mentioned to Jeff, 'If I look straight into your eyes, everything goes crazy', or something along those lines. And then we realized we were having more or less the exact same trip. The same thing was happening to him when he stared into my eyes.

At this point we decided, allright, well, let's stare into each others eyes and trip out for a while.

And then we both reached a very profound state of being. Through our eye contact, and the level of trust we had with each other, we were somehow communicating -- but at the same time, not -- and, well, this is pretty much unexplainable. This would be the first of several phenomena to amaze us both during this trip.

The visuals were totally off the hook when I was staring into Jeff's eyes, and he into mine. I saw him turn into Buddha, surrounded by a beautiful psychedelic outdoor location that was constantly in flux. I saw him turn into several deity-looking things, many of which had perpendicular heads like those in the work of Luke Brown.

That image by Luke Brown reminds me of what I was seeing. Especially the perpendicular head thing. Jeff said he was seeing perpendicular heads just like that too.

I also watched Jeff age, and he turned out looking a lot like his father. Then I watched Jeff shift into various versions of himself in every different race. These visions continued, taking themes from various cultures and points in history. It was like the LSD was showing me alternate versions of Jeff that were also him at the same time. Or could be him? Or were him? Or he might be again?

By this point we were both amazed, and had confirmed enough things about each other's experiences to realize we were riding the same wave. We began to get into some pretty interesting discussions regarding the nature of time, space, how all this could be possible, whether it is real or not. Big questions. And some of you might know it is difficult to communicate on a strong LSD trip. For one thing, it could be difficult to form coherent sentences one minute, and then the next minute I might be able to explain something really really well.

For another thing, my mind was often trying to tackle several topics at once, meanwhile observing beautiful visuals and other psychedelic distractions.

But we conveyed a lot of our philosophies to each other, meanwhile having them challenged by the very nature of what we were currently experiencing. We challenged each other intellectually, going back to redefine things, going off on tangents, coming back to the original point when he or I would remember what we were talking about,... 'Oh yeah!'

At some point Jeff noticed the copy of Be Here Now sitting on top of a stack of books in my room. Or maybe I noticed it and caused him to notice it. He observed that, in spite of me obviously thinking this book is some good shit and really consider it the best book I've got, he never really read it.

I think he knew he could easily get sucked in to the book if he were to pick it up. For it seemed, not so long ago, we had come to the agreement that the best way we could possibly be spending our time was doing the exact thing we were doing. Which to me, was interacting as humans, and great friends, learning from each other... I mean, we both play guitar and love to jam, but both agreed that even trying to jam on LSD -- at least on *this* trip -- would probably be awesome, but we'd rather sit and talk.

So I said, 'A lot of what I'm trying to get at is expressed more clearly in that book up there.'

But I tried not to push. It was his choice, and he finally decided to open it up.

So we read that together for a while. The brown pages, of course . With Jeff sitting next to me, I found myself reading this book much more critically minded than the last time I had read these brown pages. There were some points we got, some points we found to be elaborations by Ram Dass that don't really get to the real points. I won't get into Be Here Now much. Everyone should make up their own mind if they want to read it, and then make up their own mind if they agree. I think we both found the book really cool to read, although we never finished it.

Around this time... 12:00am? ... another guy came into my room and put on a CD. I had no idea what it was but he kept looking at me like I should know. I couldn't figure it out because he kept skipping into the middle of tracks and giving me what seemed like 5 seconds to figure it out. I was like, throw me a friggin' bone here buddy! But then I heard the guitar. Well, fuckin A, if it isn't Trey Anastasio's new CD! Wow that sounds pretty good!

Thanks for the CD but you gotta go... we're too deep inside this trip.

Jeff asked him if he had 'just walked into my room'? A very good question, I thought, but put pretty bluntly. Then we made fun of other people, and it was pretty funny.

I should probably mention that I felt incredibly dank during this whole trip. It was incredibly easy on my body, and I didn't feel tense at all like I have many times before on LSD. We both agreed, many times, that this was some bomb acid.

So, as our peaks wore off, but we were still quite tripping, we decided to have a mixed drink. Why? Tradition perhaps. Or perhaps we felt like we 'got the trip'. It was in no way intended to end the trip, deny the trip, or anything like that.

But then something occured which caused us to stop drinking before we'd even finished our first drink. See, we had both tried DOC recently and found that, at lower doses, it resembled very much a lower dose LSD trip. We both became fascinated by the possibility that DOC could match what we'd just experienced. For some reason this question was really quite relevant to what we'd been discussing.... were there really several paths to the same peak?

Part Two, In Which We Take DOC

Given our current situation, it seemed, why not?

We took a moment to think very clearly. We will be tripping pretty much all day tomorrow. We know this. There is a good chance most of that time will be spent in this room, deep inside our heads. We know this. We don't have much food besides some cereal and soda and water. We know this.

Ok then, let's do it. And we both dosed between 4-5 mg of DOC, having estimated that this would be a good dose to attempt to recreate the intensity of our LSD experience. We were not trying to aim for the *same* trip. But to see what DOC would do at the same level.

Skip forward a little while after eating the DOC, and its about 3:00am and we've come down off the LSD peak for sure, and can feel the DOC creeping in. We take advantage of this time to play some Tekken 5 in the living room because we know nobody else will be around and Tekken 5 is the shit. We had some pretty sweet fights in Tekken. The funny thing is, even though we were probably talking a little bit of trash talk (as is customary), we were complimenting each other on good combos and well fought fights regardless if we won or not.

I went to pee and in the bathroom I noticed a can of shaving cream glowing, and then it levitated. I knew this wasn't the LSD anymore. In fact, I could notice a distinct difference in the way DOC takes a material and rearranges its appearance in your mind. LSD came from under the surface... DOC comes out of the air and everywhere in between.

Soon we were getting pretty high again, and decided to head back into my room and hang out. During this period I was thinking in a very scientific manner, organizing all the differences between LSD and DOC in my mind because I felt I should really be taking advantage of being able to make such a great comparison between two chemicals which have been compared a lot lately, including by myself.

It took a little while, but a couple hours after we dosed the DOC we were back to a similar level of intensity that the LSD had given us. In my mind this was a pretty great acheivement. The differences were subtle, but many, and obvious. One of the first clues to the differences was the body feel. DOC simply felt a little different. LSD felt like pulsing, flowing, 'lysergic' energy flowing through me. You have to have had LSD to know I suppose. DOC felt very smooth, and also can't really be classified as having a 'buzz', euphoric as well but nothing like MDMA, focused as well, but not like amphetamine. Maybe like a very smooth subtle amphetamine, but distinctly psychedelic. Almost like an amphetamine, but I also found it very relaxing. I could relax in any position. Well, anyway, it feels very *good* and I wouldn't agree that it feels just like amphetamine. Also, increasing my dose with DOC doesn't seem to give me any extra energy. The body feeling was equally smooth as 2mg.

But the trip was very different. Jeff was the first one to notice the 'spirals'. I believe almost anybody who's tripped at this level on DOC knows what I'm talking about. Suspended in the air, there are spirals of energy that you can see. Some of them flow through the air like DNA strands in 3-D. Some of them form in objects and seemed to draw me in.

Actually, there was quite a bit of activity going on in the space between objects. The air was thick with what looked like sine waves of energy, composed of bright fractal dots and tiny circles radiating different colors. The majority of them were mostly-white light but some of them were extra colorful. Also, there were clusters of these colored energy orbs that would form in three dimensions at different places in the room. These moved about with what appeared to be some intent. Intent of what or who?, we wondered.

Objects were in flux / motion / patterning similarly to the way LSD made them, but there was a clear difference in the way in which this took place. DOC visuals are like an overlay, adding dimension/color/movement/pattern to something from the space between your eyes and the object. LSD appears to come from within, and even on higher doses of LSD I've never seen so much activity in the space between.

Also on DOC, twice, I saw a glimpse of some kind of portal or window into some other kind of space. I didn't get a good enough look at them.

Jeff and I tried staring into each other's eyes again, to see how it would compare to the LSD earlier. Like before, the visual intensity increased dramatically, but the nature of the visuals was different. Instead of historic/cultural themes, they were a unique kind of repeating pattern. Like, things in my vision would get reflected into mirror images, forming a pattern that would slowly overtake almost all my visual field. Jeff's face itself, if that's what I was looking at, would distort but seemed a little more alien -- or at least less like something I could associate with something else -- than with the LSD.

So the DOC matched the LSD in visual intensity, but it was different. Hopefully that was described well enough.

Now, in terms of thought, DOC seemed a bit more clear-headed. We were still talking about much of the same concepts during the times when we weren't trying to figure out all the fascinating things we were seeing... as it was our first DOC trip at this level of intensity it was pretty novel. However it seemed as if the LSD took us on more of a directed 'trip' than the DOC did. I found I had more control over the direction the trip went with DOC, if that makes any sense. Almost like LSD trips are predetermined and DOC trips are of your own making.

Closed eye visuals were very fast-paced on DOC. If there was any way in which this trip seemed to have an amphetamine like energy it was in the pace of the movement of patterns, spirals, and pulsating orbs in my closed eye visual field. Occasionally something photorealistic, apparently created by my imagination (for example, three dimensional neon noodles dancing in patterns on top of a solid rotating plane of some kind) would break through. At one point all this hectic motion behind my closed eyes formed a tunnel which spiraled downward (I believe my head was facing down at this time...). I traveled through this tunnel until I saw something undefined. Too bad it was undefined, because it seemed to be the source of the spirals.

Music appreciation is greatly enhanced on DOC. I can compare this to LSD again: On LSD the music playing seemed almost like a soundtrack to our trip... in other words the music got deep inside my head and was almost un-noticeable until you stopped to notice it, and then realized what a major role it was playing. On DOC I was really drawn to the music, and payed deep attention to every note. The music also seemed 'fitting' to the trip but I was much more aware of it. I listened to Trey Anastasio's new 70 Volt Parade album which had been brought by earlier and thought it was fantastic. Both of these substances are incredible for appreciation of music, but music seems to be perceived differently. I was definitely more 'into' the music... in fact, very much into the music on DOC. Perhaps it has a greater degree of music euphoria, while the LSD has a greater capacity to warp the music into your other senses and thought process.

At around 8:00am we decided to watch the movie Kingdom of Heaven, as our peaks had died down on the DOC a bit and we were starting to get a little worn out from so much active thought. This movie turned out to be extremely confusing, and we both thought it pretty much sucked because we couldn't figure out what was going on in the plot. Everyone seemed to be acting irrationally. During this movie I spent more and more of my time with my eyes closed, and realized I could fall into a kind of trance that was incredibly relaxing. Actually, I became convinced I could fall asleep easily, now, only 8 or 9 hours after eating the DOC. Jeff agreed that this trance state was possible and could perhaps even lead to sleep.

So we parted ways, as he walked back to his place and I lay in bed.

.......

I regain consciousness and look at my clock. 3:00pm! What just happened? Had I slept? Huh. Well I really wasn't sure but it really felt like no time had passed, and I also felt somewhat refreshed and much more energetic. It was like I had slept, but I couldn't tell if I really had.

I also 'woke up' still tripping at a light ++ level, which is a very easy trip on DOC. I took a shower and enjoyed that, then took a quick drive to get some fast food because I was really deprived of food by that point, having only eaten a sandwich in the last day and a half. Or two. Or who knows.

I chowed down on my Burrito Supremes and watched some TV. Really not much to say, except that I remained tripping mildly until 10:30pm when I fell asleep until 1:00pm today.

Today I still feel a strong afterglow, from a mix of both DOC and LSD. After smoking grass I was lifted back to a very light ++ that was definitely remnants of the trip, not just because it was good weed

......

So, that's that. Back to back LSD &gt; DOC. What a trip! Definitely no regrets with this one.

For the record, I preferred the LSD over the DOC, but not by much. If I had taken the DOC first I suspect it would have been much more intense because DOC does have a longer peak and overall duration than LSD, and there would have been a lot of overlap. But I do feel that any lingering LSD played a minor role on top of the peak DOC experience.

The DOC was more clear headed, but also more confusing because I had never tripped *like that* before. Definitely a lot of cool and strange phenomena going on in a DOC trip, and it definitely seems like a good drug and very nice to my body as well. However the LSD trip had an air of importance and perfection that the DOC did not quite have.

But that was some pretty damn good LSD. Most other acid trips would have a hard time beating that DOC. It's not a contest though, although I thought of it that way at times during this extended trip... as it seems they can coexist very well with each other.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 48025

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Nov 26, 2005	Views: 34,724

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LSD (2), DOC (357) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Multi-Day Experience (13), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   63.5 kg

A while ago, I got a small vial of liquid acid, to try for the first time.  Although experienced with Ecstasy, Mushrooms, Weed and coke, I have always wanted to try acid.

The first time I tried this particular batch, myself and two friends  took one drop each.  It came on in about 20 minutes, with peak experience after about 7 hours.  The total trip lasted for about twelve hours.  This was a fine trip, and apart from a very 'chemically' come-down the next day, there were no side effects.

A few weeks later, my friends and I (now including my girlfriend) went clubbing, and took some E.  The pills were duds, and we went back to a friends house to sleep for a couple of hours.  Because we felt 'cheated' by the dud pills, we decided to drop some acid that night. We got back to my house, and looked at the vial.  There were only two drops in it, so my two mates took those, and I put some water into the vial, shook it up, and my girl and I had a squirt each. It came on quite quickly, and we were all tripping within 40 minutes.

We were watching some trippy graphics on a screen, and they looked 3d to me and my two mates, but my girlfriend said that they were splilling out onto the floor... I should have noticed at this point, that she was tripping more than us, but I was tripping too, and thought nothing of it.

After about 1hr, we put on some music, and my two friends went to our grow room to trip off the plants (highly reccommended, by the way).  My girl and I were downstairs talking about the universe and wormholes, and I put forward the thought that we might be caught in a time-loop, and everything was repeating itself...  after a while this became true, and our conversation seemed to be going in circles (I thought this was hilarious, and remembered we had taken the acid, so it was ok).  I left the room briefly to call down my friends, as they were missing some great music. When I came back into the living room (about 2 hours in...) my girlfriend started the same conversation we had been having before I left, but she seemed to be more adamant about it, seemed to believe it.  I thought she was just playing with our heads, but as time went on, she started getting worked up about the things that we had been talking about (eating oranges, smoking spliffs, and being stuck in the centre of the universe, and how we had to join hands to break out!).  I kept reassuring her that what she was saying was not happening.  She would then say 'Oh, yeah yeah yeah.  OOOOOKKKKK.  So who is smoking the spliff?'

It was as if the last few sentences we had said to each other had gotten stuck in her brain, and all she could say or think about was these things.

I tried to roll up a joint, thinking that this would calm her, but she started to grab at me and the other people, trying to get us to join hands and 'break the loop'.

Now I was worried.  Nothing I could say would get through to the real her... It seemed like she had gone to sleep, and left a recording of herself in charge of her body.

I decided that a change of environment may help, so I got her to my bedroom (practically had to drag her out of the living room) and tried to talk her down.

Unfortunately, at this point, she got quite worked up, and started screaming at me, for our friends, and hitting out at people. This was killing me.  The love of my life was thrashing around on the floor, and I had to put my hand over her mouth (making sure she could breath through her nose) to stifle the screaming.

At this point, the police showed up, and my two friends (still tripping) had to go down and explain to the them that she was having a nightmare! By now I had managed to figure out what was going on, because I had done lots of reading about acid.  I remembered that it is not physically toxic, and I had heard about other peoples bad trips like this.  I knew she would not die, but was worried about her mind.  About 4 hrs in, I finally was able communicate with her.  She would say one of her 'loop thoughts', and I would try and reassure her by saying an appropriate response.  For example, she would say 'Oh God, where is C and V?'  And I would say 'Oh look, here they come.  They are here'.  I had to convince here that what she wanted to happen, was happening.

It became clearer to me that she was still in there by looking at her eyes.  When she was in her own world, her pupils were so large, nearly all black.  But every so often, when I got through to her, they would close to a point, and I could tell she could see me, then she would lose it, and the pupils would dilate again. The only way I could get her actual conciousness to surface, was to trick her mind.  She kept on with the 'loop thoughts', but every so often I would throw in a new response, referring to our real lives.  for example, I  at one point I asked her what she thought of the music at the club the other night, and she replied 'Oh, it was quite good', and I said 'I thought it was shit', and then she would go back into the loop.

She kept scratching at my arms, and putting her hands in my mouth (she said afterwards, that this was to try and communicate with me by 'putting her thoughts into my mouth!')

During all of this, I was still tripping, and the thought of her having permanent damage was giving me suicidal thoughts.  I imagined having to explain to her father and brother about how I had given their daughter, my light and soul, a overdose of LSD and permanently damaged her.  I just wanted to take care of her, no matter if she was going to be damaged for life.  But if she died, I wanted to die too.  I had thoughts about death constantly, while trying to look after her.  Although I knew we could not die physically from this, the tripping made me think lots of fucked-up thoughts, and I had to cope with that as well as taking care of my girl.   This was the worst time of my life....EVER!

About eight hours in, she began to calm down, although she was still thinking in loops occasionally. When she did come back, she felt so bad, she was convinced that she was going to die, for about 2 hours.  I knew that this was not going to be the case, but I had to keep on reassuring her, because she would believe me for a second, and then think that she was going to die again. After about 11 hours after taking the acid, she was down (but still mildy tripping visually).  she had no idea about what had happened, and we both cried and comforted each other for many hours.  From her point of view, she had resigned to dying, there in my bedroom, and this had had a huge emotional impact on her. From my point of view, I had watched the one I love most in the world, nearly dying (mentally), and since I was tripping, this had had a huge impact on my psyche.  All the fucked-up thoughts about having to explain to her family and all that, will stay with me forever.

I am writing this, in the hope that other trippers will read it, and if they are with someone that gets stuck in a bad trip in the form of a though 'loop', will know how to talk them down. Reassure them, that whatever their delusions are, they are happening (if good, safe ones), or not happening (if they are bad). My girls thoughts were mainly about oranges (as we had been eating them at the start of the trip).  She would shout 'we must eat the orange... who is eating the orange?'  and I would say 'Its OK sweetheart, I am eating the orange now (chomp chomp, munch munch).'  She would then sigh in relief, before coming out with another thought, or maybe the same one again.

I just kept talking to her, trying to say things to 'trick' her mind back to reality, refer to events in life, outside of the trip.  I looked at her eyes to see when the mind had surfaced, and try to get through to it before it went back down under.

Above all, I gave love and hugs to her, because she was in a bad place, and only I could help her back out.

The experience, although horrendous, has strengthened our bond as soulmates.  My girlfriend looks at each day like a blessing (as she was resigned to die), and I am so glad her mind and body are back the way they are supposed to be.

I used to be slightly flippant with drugs, (heavy mushroom taking and 9 pills a night), but this time the psychadelic godess gave me a slap on the wrist, and said 'Dont fuck around with drugs!'  I still smoke and take the occasional pill or shroom, but not to such excess.

One final point, you may be wondering why my girlfriend tripped so hard, and we didn't, and I think that she must have gotten a much bigger squirt of Acid into her mouth, and she also had been tapping the empty bottle on her hand to get the last bits (I did not know this till afterward). This happened a few weeks ago, and my eyes tear up while writing this.  Clearly, this has affected us greatly, but it has also taught me a valuable lesson, as well as bringing me and my girl closer.

Safe tripping!

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 20412

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 8, 2005	Views: 76,430

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LSD (2) : Second Hand Report (42), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

When I was in second or third grade, I saw a rerun of Dragnet, on Nick-at-Nite, that showed a party full of spaced-out, beatnik type kids, that wore berets and were tripping out on a wall. Though the intent of the episode was to illustrate the dangers of LSD, it only served to spark my initial intrigue with the drug, which I first began to experiment with in my mid-to-late teen years.

My first few trips were rather superficial, most producing only a body high and mild visuals. I soon met my now best friend, *B*, and we hit it off.  Our first trip together was alone, and we discovered how compatible we were. We were able to communicate the indescribable through facial expressions, gestures, and one word sentences. We would sit knee to knee, starring so hard at each other that I felt our eyes might burst. Sometimes we talked; choppy fluctuant speech patterns, interweaving random thoughts or ideas into a larger and more ultimate picture of what we perceived to be 'universal truth' (I must add that none of these ideas were ever verbalized in a logically structured or philosophical manner). At other times we said nothing at all. Acid was our common frame of reference, and the environment that moved us to bond.

Several years and almost two-dozen trips later, a group of us were getting together to celebrate October 29th, for no reason other than boredom. A friend knew a guy who lived out of city limits, in an area where people minded their own business, and we all decided it would be the best place to hang out. I had never met this guy, but trusted my friend. He lived in a tiny mobile home, which was crowded with band equipment and other random junk. The guy was cool, and had really great pot. *B* and I dropped our acid shortly after arriving, 4 hits each, and than sold the other two to the guy's sister, who left afterwards. *B* and I were the only ones there on anything other than weed and/or alcohol (which we didn't drink).

The beginning of my trip was normal. I began to get anxious, and felt a fluttering in my stomach. I knew it was going to come on like a whirlwind when it did. We both ran out of cigarettes, and decided to go to the store. Not being familiar with the area, a guy friend came along with us. The county roads don't have many street lamps and my vision was constantly moving in and out of focus. I couldn't see a thing and wasn't really sure which direction we were headed in. This concerned me. I kept asking him if he was sure we were going the right way and he would only say, 'Does it matter?' or 'Do you care?' Anyway, we got cigarettes and got back to the trailer without incident, but our adventure had set a slightly paranoid theme in my mind. *B* and I were usually synchronized in our levels of awareness, and we both tried to click our minds into place, to dive into the trip as we always did, but with no success. I was taken off guard by this, because we used each other like a safety line, and it was at this point I began to 'lose it.'

The acid was much better than I expected, and I sensed that I was going to be immersed much deeper in my trip than I had ever been before, despite my trying to contain myself. Though I only remember flashes of what happened during my peak, which I estimate lasted about two to three hours, I've been told that I was rambling like a mad person and was becoming very unstable. They relocated me to the back of the trailer which served as a bedroom. I was there for most of my peaking hours, while my friends tried to calm me down, though most of the attention only intensified what I was experiencing. During this time I became claustrophobic and thrashed about, because I was being restrained. They coaxed me into lying down, at which time I concentrated on closed-eye visuals and eventually became less belligerent.

I would like to say that causing a huge scene in a stranger's house and putting my friends in a position of obligation to 'baby-sit' me was the worst part of my night, but it wasn't. After I snapped out of it, and began to realize the reality of the situation, I was sure that it was over. I wasn't really embarrassed (yet), more disoriented than anything. I came out of the back room, looking at all of my friends. I lit a cigarette, and laughed. Someone handed me a pipe, I don't remember who, but I remember that it helped break tension, almost like a gesture of consolation. I took a couple of really deep hits, and sat back on the couch. I looked at all of my friends, taking in the awkward moment. I was sure that I had ruined everyone's night and was surprised I hadn't been thrown out. Soon after this, I became aware of the fact that I was still tripping. Whether it was the weed, or that the acid hadn't played out of my system completely, I don't know.

All of the sudden I felt an overwhelming force pushing into me, felt like gravity had become ten times stronger. Breathing became a voluntary function, I had to remind myself to let air in and out, or else my lungs would collapse into space along with the rest of me. I felt like I was at my own funeral. Everyone's eyes, red from drinking and smoking all night long, made them appear to be crying. I thought they were crying for me. A girlfriend of ours, *K*, noticed that I was once again 'not okay' and tried to comfort me. *K* was small and skinny, with acne and sunken eyes. Her skin looked pallid and a sick yellow. There was a desperate look in her eyes when she talked to you. When I didn't respond she became more persistent, certain that I was going to flip out again. I knew I wasn't going to, and her nagging made me uncomfortable and agitated. I just looked into her, skeptical of her intentions. A black film slithered down over her eyes and I was convinced I was dying. In the background, Bob Dylan's 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' was playing, distorted by my state. She kept telling me it was 'Okay. It's okay. Everything is okay.' I felt my heart stopping.

In the back of my mind I saw myself fading out. I felt a cold stab of steel-like nothingness in the pit of my stomach, what I imagined death would feel like. Not the process of dying, but the actual state of not being. *K* was my grim reaper, and she was trying to convince me of my impending death and of it being the right action on my part. I wasn't scared by this, more angry than anything. I tried to rationalize the feelings I was having towards her, but couldn't. Finally, I stood up and told her to get the fuck away from me. She winced, hurt by what I said because in reality she was sincerely trying to make me feel better. *B* took me outside on the front porch, where we talked. I told her what happened from my perspective, then she filled me in on what I wasn't 'there' for. By this time all I wanted was to scrub myself with bleach, eat some carrots, and go to sleep.

When we got inside, there were people folded into every corner and crevice, sleeping. The sun coming up shown in through the windows, allowing my to see every bit of fuzz and litter and discoloration in the trailer. Everything twitched and crawled and made weird noises. I felt the urge to clean, but could only sit and stare and rub my palms on my jeans. The inactivity was tedious. My whole body fell asleep, except for my mind. I couldn't stand looking at the room any longer. My eyes felt tired and stressed, from hours of being overworked. I felt my pupils bulging, even when my eyes were closed. When I tried to sleep (in an up right position due to lack of space) I could hear and feel every one of my bodily functions. The sounds of various liquids being processed and organs groaning. My bones felt crooked and weary. There is no way to describe how uncomfortable the room felt. Comet and a wire brush come to mind. This went on for hours, until everyone woke up, and drove *B* and I back to her house, where I had the best sleep of my life. The greatest feeling I ever felt was waking up from all of that insanity. And though it is the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me, I'd do it again, for the sake of perspective.

For those inexperienced trippers, this story may not seem very scary, but keep in mind that, while I do my best, no words can possibly communicate the magnitude of the situation or the intensity of my feelings at the time. The biggest mistake I made in this situation was not being familiar with my environment. These types of drugs must be taken in a safe place where you're not subject to accidents and where you are comfortable. Aesthetics play a major role in the overall tone of your experience. Second mistake was being with a large group of not-so-close friends. While this may not apply to every person or every trip, for the most part people would be wise to stick with those they know well and love. I had tripped around all but one of these people before, and never received any negative vibes. Which brings me to my third mistake. Do not assume anything. Every hit effects various people in different ways. Be cautious and know your supplier. Talk to others who have tried the particular batch you're considering and compare stories. The most important thing I learned is that when dealing with hallucinogenics I should definitely use them respectfully, with a right and clear mind, and in moderation. I have since quit using acid and all other synthetic properties.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 21466

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 14, 2005	Views: 41,023

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:45
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:15
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (dried)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

Introduction

This is a description of my first LSD experience, in 1988.  It was the second time I tried consuming tabs of LSD, but my first real experience with the chemical, as the first time, nothing happened. It would prove to be a major turning point in my life, a test that I felt that I barely emerged from alive and human.  I certainly hadn’t ever been so close to total insanity before.

Background

The first time I tried LSD was when I was 17.  Either the paper was bunk or else it was an *extremely* low dosage; I ended up taking 8 hits without feeling anything. This is relevant in that it led to my liberal estimation, during my second attempt, of how much LSD was acceptable to take.

Set and Setting

When I was 18, I was in a depressing situation.  My girlfriend of one year moved to a different city for college, and I was missing her greatly.  It was the first time I’d lived away from home, and my apartment was a complete and utter pigsty.  I’m talking empty ice cream cartons left on the floor, along with slimy silverware, next to piles of shoes, dirty clothes, and some left-over lunch from three weeks ago in a bag.  I didn’t worry about the mess, since I had nearly one hundred CDs to listen to, and music was my thing. I wasn’t on any medications, although I was quite dependant on marijuana psychologically, smoking every day.  I was extremely excited about my first LSD trip, having just read Storming Heaven (evidently the information on the importance of set and setting didn’t reach me).

The Drug

I obtained four hits of LSD from some strangers at the park, who claimed that each tab was double-dipped. I assumed that they were just attempting to sell their product (as they say, never ask a barber if you need a haircut).  It wasn’t until later that I learned that they had most likely been telling me the truth. The tabs cost 4 dollars each.

The Trip

I started off by taking 2 and a half hits.  After 45 minutes, little seemed to be happening, so I took another half hit.  Another 30 minutes down the road (T+1’15’’), I was only feeling slightly unusual, so I took the remaining hit.  That put, I now estimate, based on many LSD experiences in the 5 or 6 years following this trip, at least 400, possibly up to 800 micrograms of LSD into my body (though of course we all know it's impossible to tell unless you know the chemist who made it).

The trip started nicely, with the voices of Crosby, Stills, and Nash sounding like angels.  I smoked a bowl and felt the acid kick in more and more. Then I made the mistake of putting on Pink Floyd’s first album – Piper at the Gates of Dawn.  It is extremely different from their later work, in that it is completely insane music, although it is depressing, just as their later stuff.  I started to get the idea that Pink Floyd had driven me mad.  My mind recorded a half-second interval of music, and started playing an approximately 4-second loop, with most of it “empty”, but that half-second filled-in each time. Every 5-10 minutes, it would record another half-second interval of music or noise, seemingly randomly, and soon it filled in the entire 4-second loop, which was playing in my head repeatedly.

From t+2 hours on, for the next 6-8 hours, time became meaningless, and so I don’t have any sense of the chronology of the trip. I got the idea that my parents had driven up (an 8-hour drive) and were looking in through the peephole in my apartment door, and that they could see me.  I felt an overwhelming feeling of disappointment that they had for me, since I had taken LSD.  I knew that they had stopped trusting me.  I then knew that if I opened the curtains, I would see, literally, all of the people in the world standing on bleachers that extended into infinity, and that all of them would be looking at me, disappointed in me. It made sense that I would be kicked out of my apartment, and would have to go live as a homeless person.  I put on my bathrobe over my clothes, in order to look the part, and picked up a teddy bear, for comfort, and wandered around my apartment for the next 6-8 hours, without the ability to focus on any one thing for more than a second.  The repeating loop was still going, at full strength.  This 6-8 hour period seemed to take more than a week to me, although even that description is inadequate.  This was the worst hell I had ever experienced in my life.  I claimed afterwards that, if I had to endure the same torture for an entire week of real time, I would prefer to die.  The directness of the experience has faded with time, but I think that I might still be of the same opinion.

During this time, my roommate, who was very anti-drug, called.  I answered the phone, for some reason, and he asked me for a friend’s phone number.  I had to tell him that I’d call him back, since I couldn’t even really figure out where the number might be, or what he meant, or how to talk on the phone.  I continued my wandering, and some time later, I happened to see that friend’s number on a piece of paper.  I put it in my bathrobe pocket, thinking that it might come in handy.  Later, maybe a universe or two later, I saw a telephone in front of me, and picked it up and dialed some number. I do not know how I knew my roommate’s girlfriend’s phone number, but when my roommate answered, I simply read him the number in my pocket, and he never knew that I was located in another plane of existence, and that my tenuous grasp on his reality could have easily been lost if he had asked me any other question at all.

It was music that destroyed me, and it was music that saved me.  In the midst of my wandering, I happened to pick up my guitar, and to play a few notes…each sound was like a raindrop falling and splashing, flowing musical beauty.  The sounds took me back home, somehow, and comforted me.  I began to relax, and realized that I wasn’t about to become homeless after all.  I spent the rest of that night playing guitar, and enjoying the night air.  I smoked another bowl of marijuana and felt wonderful, although I still was very much shaken from the intensity of my bad hours. Eventually, I went to sleep, but the next day I was scared to leave my apartment, for fear of not knowing how to interact with strangers.  This fear slowly diminished over three or four days.

Despite my horrible trip, the ending was amazing enough that I tried LSD again on many occasions, and enjoyed almost every minute of almost every trip.  After approximately 20 trips under my belt, I quit, and switched to natural alternatives such as mushrooms and mescaline.

My bad trip has affected my life ever since – that’s more than 15 years.  It gave me strength, as I knew that since I had survived such a tremendous horror, I could survive almost anything. It also made me take less LSD after that – I never took more than 3 hits at once again, and I was more cautious in waiting for what I had already taken to kick in before taking more.

It was the bad music choice, as well as my bad emotional state and physical situation (set and setting!) that caused this bad trip. I firmly believe that keeping your focus on set and setting will help avoid the majority of problems.

Everyone who is reading this, remember to thank Erowid for providing a place for free speech, as well as such valuable information, all for free.  If you can possibly afford a donation, or can buy one of the books on the site, please do so!  There is no resource as valuable as this site for those who, like me, wish to explore the outer reaches of consciousness!!

Please, please, start slow with entheogens, and don’t be impatient.  That is the message; it is part of the respect we should show these teachers.  Happy tripping.

Shruming Human

Exp Year: 1988	ExpID: 47822

Gender: Not Specified

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 25, 2005	Views: 44,760

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Music Discussion (22), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 8 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   180 lb

21 years old.

Setting : My Condo in the mountains. Alone

Dose : 8 hits of decent quality LSD

Set : Deep depression for past few months and years. I was/am looking for peace through self exploration with LSD.

This trip started off with the ingestion of 8 hits of decent potent LSD. By the time the effects started coming, I knew it was going to be an intense trip. I could not read the book I was reading anymore and I was directed to the couch from exhaustion and mental confusion as much as anything.

At the edge of the couch I had my computer, loaded with 6 hours worth of archetypal chanting/meditative music. I also had eye shades to keep the experience as internalized as possible. I put the eyeshades on, and I started up the music and put the high quality headphones over my head. I planed to allow only material from my mind to be explored with absolutely no environmental distraction.

It is about 5 days after The trip and I am already forgetting a large amount of the chronological order of things and whatnot, but I still remember the important parts of the trip so I will list them in no particular order here.

Freudian Anal Stage. At a point during the trip I started seeing a flush of images relating to the feeling of taking a crap. I saw my whole life flash in front of me starting with potty training. In a Freudian sense I found out in a very intimate way that all my problems in life, seriously, all my real problems in life relate to the fact that I am fixated on the anal stage, anal retentive would be the appropriate description for my personality. These images came through my head so quickly, it was the biggest revelation I have ever had. All my excessive paranoia, obsessive-compulsive behavior, obsession with cleanliness, extreme fascination and disgust at feces, and the inability to “let go” and just have a good time suddenly made a ton of sense in a very Freudian way. Anal retentive personality!

Then even more revelations. I am obsessed, completely obsessed, with control. Again flashing before my eyes at an astonishing pace was evidence from my life that supported this claim. I began to see how much life I was missing out by being so meticulous and un-adventurous and “anal”. I saw what life could be like just “going with the flow” and “letting loose” and it filled me with a desire that was as intense as 4 million suns to overcome this obsessive desire and just “go with the flow” living life to the fullest.

Birth Trauma. The rest of the trip I think relates to Stanislav Grof’s brilliant observation of the Birth Trauma being re-enacted in a Death-Rebirth process during high dose LSD sessions. I had some strong concentration camp imagery. Its intensity was beyond belief. I regressed into a small child during the holocaust with the gas chambers in sight screaming “MOMMMYYYY” and crying like a child who's scared shitless would. A child knowing nothing about anything except that “mommy” is the only thing that could possibly make this situation happy again. The feeling was strong. I screamed and cried mommy very self consciously (ther neighbors upstairs) but I wish I could have screamed my lungs out…. It was very real.

I was screaming, but yet as involved in this feeling that I was, I was able to change my viewpoint to that of the Nazi soldiers ordering the trainloads of people to their death. The lack of warmth of feeling, that really these people deserve this and they are somehow below human. And I could also see it from a detached observer with no feeling whatsoever. I have had much concentration camp imagery and scenes through my years of psychedelic use, and here was no exception of how powerful these images are. It’s important to never forget it.

I also had strange mystical divine feelings during this trip. I had feelings of being some sort of monk in the mountains in a very eastern sense of life, devoting myself to god. I stuck my arms out and felt at one with incredible warmth and feeling that left me smiling and bubbling up with warmth and love for all. These feelings were fleeting unfortunately, and I only experienced a little bit of it through the trip, (most of the trip was was my suffering of my birth trauma) and every time I experienced it I really wished I could have that feeling in my daily life.

I also had images of being able to “start over” my life. Starting again from the moment of birth when I was out of the womb. Being free from all the biographical crap that I call my life, just a refreshing new start. It was a beautiful thought to say the least.

There was also some complicated stuff like BPM II fiery hell, and BPM III sexual scatological and “intense pain/intense sexual ecstasy” moments. I realized that all my problems in life come from this scatological element of my birth (root cause of anal retentive personality?). I just have a severely big turnoff to biological materials including anything in or near a vagina. I know I need to go through these scatological parts of my mind to be able to approach a woman in a good sexual way, and to be able to overcome my own obsessive-compulsive “anal” tendencies.

There were some confusing parts of the trip too. Like when the trip kind of just “stopped’ on a negative note. I didn’t know what to do to continue the trip. It was about 6 or 7 hours of hard tripping when this happened, and I just was too tired to keep on going. So I let the trip end on a bad note. Note that I was still seeing visuals everywhere, huge tracers and definitely tripping hard. But I took my eyeshades off and the music off and just stopped internalizing the experience and facing my inner world (it’s exhausting!). So I pretty much stopped the trip myself, not the best idea with ever more unconscious material to work through.

It’s a bad idea to let the trip end on a bad note by the way, because it can stick with you for weeks or months after the trip. I knew this, but I was just way too tired. I ended up tripping for about 24 hours which is a new record for me. This was a very powerful trip and it will set the stage for my future trips most certainly.

I now know what I want out of life. I want to be a dog-owner. I want the personality of a happy fun loving dog who is spontaneous and unafraid to “let loose” and enjoy the many awesome things in life. Like just playing Frisbee or running or eating or anything can be so pleasurable, spiritual even. I want that. I am a believer that there is some small chance that I can overcome all the crap in my life by all this self-exploration. I know I’m in a minority here because my friends and family and society worry about me doing all this LSD, but I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t think it could help me.

I just want peace and love. That’s all. Just the simple peace. Time will tell if I get it.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 48915

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 6, 2006	Views: 25,974

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)


		 DOSE:

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   180 lb

SET + SETTING

This is the 4th high dose trip I’ve had in 5 weeks. I have not written trip reports for 2 of the other one’s unfortunately so there is a big gap to where I was before and where I am now. My setting is that of my condo in the woods. A private place with electricity, running water, a computer with good music, eyeshades, art-supplies, and most importantly PRIVACY!

I was feeling very sick and weak from a cold I had caught a few days before dropping the 8 hits. I was worried that the weakened state of my immune system, body, and mind collectively would change my acid experience. With these concerns in mind I still dropped the acid. Within 30 minutes I was flat on my back with my eye-shades on and tribal music playing. It was the fastest LSD has ever come on for me.

Now I’m not so hot at writing descriptive trip reports, it’s really a difficult thing to do, as those of you who have tried I’m sure know. So many things happened, that I will try to go over the “themes” in a relatively chronological order.

Blast Off

The first theme was definitely death coming on. My arms felt like they had 50 needles in them sucking all the blood out. My arms felt heavy and extremely, extremely, cold. I really felt like I was in danger with dying as I wasn’t sure if this state of psychological death would help the cold virus take over my body and actually kill me. I said fuck it, and let the trip continue with no psychological defenses. It’s important to note by the way, that I used to have huge psychological defenses, but the LSD through these 5 weeks has systematically destroyed them, and now ever deeper parts of my mind are coming to the surface. Fascinating.

The trip continued to a scene similar to the movie “Contact” with Jodie Foster. I found myself saying “good-bye’s” to everyone I have ever known, and everything I was in my life. I was in a little space capsule and I blasted off through the cosmos. I was space traveling, a large part of my ego was missing. But I was still “there” as in I could think and be like – wow - this is interesting.

Meet your Maker

This was perhaps the scariest and paradoxically at the same time, most soothing part of the trip. I found myself in a big factory. I was a Model-T so to speak. There was like millions of empty bodies and gadgets and dark scariness. I felt like I was in a factory for making human beings. I met the maker of these human beings. He started giving me gifts, he said, telepathically of course, “here are your hands, you will make beautiful things with these” Here is your charm, your wit, your sense of humour, you will make people smile and be happy with this. Here is your body, you will love it. At this point I actually –climbed inside of my body- and kindof zipped it up, and was like “dang this is a nice body” (really helped with my negative body image so I’m finding today =).

You are Being brainwashed

The next scenes were very scary. I started having fears that I was being brainwashed by the LSD. This was the case because I have successfully over this 5 weeks been giving up more and more of my personality to LSD and on this trip the drug actually started taking over my thoughts. Yes my thoughts, the thing I pride myself in (I’m a big thinker), and the LSD started “brainwashing me” and stealing my thoughts. I went with the flow. I did not fight it, though I could see how less strong people would definitely fight this feeling of going insane and being brainwashed. Then I saw a huge arena and my head was sawed open so my brains were sticking out in the open.

A big surgeon type dude with many many onlookers were in the arena. I understood that the process that was to be done was a lobotomy. A real lobotomy. It wasn’t going to be done now, but when the final “ego death” came, he would cut out my brain, and I would never be the same EVER again. This might sound scary, but I loved it. I am so ready to lose part of my brain. If you have ever seen the movie “Pi” my life is kind of like that. A very smart mathematical genius who is miserable with his paranoia. Until he takes a drill and drills his brain so he can just enjoy nature and human contact without the insanity of “truth” anymore.

Ride the Snake !!

So it was at this point that the most difficult part of the LSD experience came to the surface. It is important to note that I had previously been seeing snakes in all my previous LSD trips, and they seemed to be “against” me. Like I was always fighting the snakes, because they seemed evil.

Well on this trip, I rode the snake. I was the snake. And the snake brought me to some very FUCKed up parts of my personality. I have had some serious sexual abuse from my father while I was younger so that set the stage to “want” certain sexual things from my guy friends, because my father set such a great example.

Well the snake showed me EVERY SINGLE friendship I have ever had that the snake (unconscious Gay sexual desires) was involved in. I felt like I was riding a roller coaster, the snake was squirming so fast through all the relationships and memories I have ever had.

I had to re-live every single polluted friendship I have ever had, and my God it was the most difficult thing seeing friends I cherished in the unconscious gay way that I really perceived them. Me being not gay just made the process even more hard.

But like a trooper I re-lived all the trauma and gay-ness, and my god, … it was difficult.

BPM I Out Of Body

Towards the end of the trip I believe I was governed by BPM I. I felt like I was merging with my surroundings. I felt unbelievably at peace. I felt like my body and mind were dissolving into my surroundings. I was listening to some monks chanting on CD, and my god. I was never so moved by music in my life.

Conclusions.

The good vibes continued into the evening.

This trip is a big turning point in my LSD psychotherapy. I worked through my 3 greatest fears, Death, being called Racist, and Being Gay. I also opened up some sort of feminine appreciation in my psyche. I have a newfound respect for women today that I have never felt in my life. I feel their presense is godly and I have found myself hanging around them much more and being much more at ease with them, which is definitely a new thing for me.

The final ego death (brainwashing) has not come yet, but I am predicting next trip, or the trip after that. I am getting extremely confident that LSD therapy will work for me after this trip and how I feel today.

My heart chakra has opened up even more than before, and I feel true love towards my ex-girlfriend [she doesn’t want me back after I told her how I really feel =( ], my friends, and even my former enemies. Forgivness and light surround me today. I am also pleased that the LSD took over my thoughts, I find myself thinking a lot less today. I am just “in the groove” of existence without analyzing it so much.

Holy shit, this might work out good =).

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 48916

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 6, 2006	Views: 32,460

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LSD (2) : Health Benefits (32), General (1), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (gel tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

I had been researching LSD online for months during my senior year in High School because I had a strong desire to take LSD and experience all the effects I was reading about.

The summer came, and we were out of school until college.  About the second day out of school, I discovered some LSD at 9 AM in the morning.  Whether I had eaten breakfast or not I don't remember, but i would guess NO.  I was shocked looking at the two little green gel tabs, I put them in my mouth without hesitation and felt them disolve.  OH WOW i thought before any of the effects kicked in, I just ate something that's going to make me trip for hours and hours seeing everything I've ever wanted to!

Here I will give my previous drug experience:

I had smoked endless amounts of pot just about every day starting about mid-junior year.  I had eaten ecstacy about 5 times and I always felt uncomfortable getting an unnatural ecstatic emotion, and ecstacy is just bad for you, I say, and so does the evidence showing severe brain damage.  Also at that point I had had one fun yet mild mushroom experience.

I sat down at the computer to play an online game.  I played about 15 minutes until the anticipation really kicked in.  I started getting shaky and VERY ANXIOUS.  I turned around and saw fishing poles in the corner of the room, they were taller than ever before and they towered over everything!  At this point I figured I should go check things out, it's coming on.  I got down on the floor and looked at my imitation oriental rug to see what was seen in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,  the pattern rose off the carpet, my eyes were really starting to play tricks on me.

I need a shower.  I get in the bathroom and the towels are breathing and pulsating, my vision was wacky.  I could see small areas blown up very big and nothing other than my immediate vision.  At this point I'm lost in my visuals and I'm in the shower feeling fucking great.  I see a drop of water on the shower curtain and think, 'what would life be like inside a drop of water?'

I'm out of the shower and decide to play my bass guitar.  I put on Rage against the Machine's - Battle of LA.  I am really feeling the music AND the the LSD...what a suprise!  I'm softly inserting undertones on my bass, and I see the neck and strings all waving, up close, big, out of proportion, completely and utterly awesome!  The anxiety is still there, STRONG, I'm trying to enjoy myself but the LSD is so freakin powerful!!!

I start hearing audio hallucinations and at the same time visuals of lights turning on and off, plenty of color.  The audio hallucinations sounded like the devil.  Voices outside sounded like rumbling thunder.  At this point I really need to talk to someone.  I call my Mom at work.  As soon as I start speaking I sound very loud and unusual, my Mom asks if I'm alright...what am I supposed to say, 'Well I'm on LSD!'  No, that's not right.

Now I REALLY need to leave my house or else the anxiety will drive me into a wall! I go outside with the phone and a cigarette.  The side of my house looked like it was expanding in the upwards and downwards directions.  I get in touch with my friend, who I'll call N, and I go to his house down the street to meet him and another friend A, whom were and are two of my best friends.

When I get there I'm talking very loud and I say I think I've eaten some LSD.  After a while, it is abundantly clear to them that I have.  They stick by me and keep me relaxed.  We drive over to a friend's house I'll call E, another best, and he has a friend chillin there.  I wasn't feeling too high at this point, but everything on my mind was affecting me.

I call my Mom again to talk, I tell her what happened, and she wants me home immediately.  This was something I had to struggle with, I didn't wanna go home I'm out enjoying a high what good would coming home be if i'm going to get in trouble???  I decided to stay out and told my parents I would be safe and home later that evening.

I go have a quality conversation with my friend A.  He is a very experienced tripper of LSD and he comforts while we talk about jokes or funny experiences while the other people are out somewhere.  They get back and I go for a ride with my friend N, we talk and I tell him how horrible the situation I'm in is, and that I'm in trouble.  He ensures me that he is there and will help me.

We get back to E's house and then another friend shows up, he wants to smoke.  Five of us head down the street to another friend's house to smoke.  We sit out back and smoke dank bud out of a bubbler.  My high starts to come back a little but the plateau had worn off a while ago.

My thinking goes on auto-pilot.  I would think about the ramifications and harmony that come about through conversation.  I decided not to speak after my thoughts flew right past the conversation.

I come around after taking a piss and declare that on this day I am fucked up!  At this point I feel sober enough to talk.  I start to relax and my anxiety goes away.  The trip slowed down and I started coming back to baseline.

I decide it would be good to go home around 5 PM.  When I go home I see some more visuals, talk with my parents, and make ammends. Almost a year has passed now.  Since that summer, in the way of drugs I've decided not to touch cocaine, not to take LSD, ecstacy, heroine, ect...be careful, especially of the big ones...i'm serious

I hope you enjoyed reading this and learned a few things...

Retrospective:

From my personal experience...

Eating LSD at 9 AM: expect a freaking trip (see above) ^^.

Gel Tabs are potent, handle with care.  I ate some 2 hits of paper/blotter about 2 months later and it wasn't a quarter as strong.

Have friends &amp; people you love to be with.

Think before you do LSD, don't think about everything you want LSD to be.  Look at the reasons you wouldn't do LSD as well, understand that they aren't negatives for no reason.  Thanks you Erowid for being an awesome site!  Peace. =)

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 23078

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 12, 2006	Views: 43,900

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (pill / tablet)

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

The other night I had perhaps one of the most profound experiences of my entire life. Undoubtedly, I will be contemplating it for some time to come, but these are my thoughts a day or two after the experience.

A bit of background first. I was born Jewish, and raised as a reform Jew. That is, my family celebrated the Sabbath, and went to services for the high holy days, but that's it. We pretty much paid it lip service. In the past year, inspired by an acid trip, I've begun reading about other philosophies and other religions. However, my readings for the most part have dealt only with Taoism, Hinduism, and Buddhism.

I started out with the intention of gaining greater personal and interpersonal insight with the aid of LSD and MDMA. After dark, I took two hits of relatively weak LSD blotter. After an hour or so, I began to notice some initial effects, so I put on the Mindfold, which is a device that blocks all incoming light, even with your eyes open. I put 'How to Operate Your Brain' by Tim Leary onto my mp3 player, and listened. In essence, he says that the mind is like a biocomputer, and we are the master programmers who choose what we put into it. However, most of the time we surrender that control to the government and other institutions and corporations. Instead, we should question authority and think for ourselves! Very simple, yet very important ideas.

Around this point I figured it would be a good time to take the first MDMA pill. I did so, and started looking through a personal scrapbook I had made half a year ago that included many personally significant photographs. Immediately I felt a surge of empathy with the people in the pictures, and gained some understanding about them, as I had hoped.

I went online to chat with a few friends, and one of them mentioned art, and it occured to me to look at a book of art by Alex Grey (who incidentally created the Mindfold). I did so and thought it was cool. A friend had suggested going into the fetal position on a body pillow in a dark room and flowing with existence. I did that with some music. I was astounded by how free, happy, and secure I felt; feelings which seem to elude me from time to time. About 20 minutes before doing this however, I'm fairly certain I took the second MDMA pill. My memory is a little hazy so I'm not sure of the exact time.

Before going into the fetal position, I had so much energy that I simultaneously wanted to go everywhere and see everything and to simply sit still. I ended up sitting, but trembling slightly. After the fetal position, I returned to my computer to check my e-mail and see who was online.

Suddenly, I was struck by the most tremendous urge imaginable. I needed to sit down and look at the art book by Alex Grey. At this point, not even a pack of wild horses could have gotten in my way. I sat down. Frantically, I flipped through the pages, looking for something, but I didn't know what. Suddenly, the words 'FIND CHRIST' screamed into my consciousness. I flipped through the entire book as if my life was at stake, but couldn't find the picture I was looking for (entitled 'Christ'). I tried to find an index but there wasn't one. Finally, I found it. Time lost meaning. It could have been day or night, past, present, or future, none of it mattered in the least. As soon as my eyes landed on the image of Christ, I felt as though Christ himself was staring back at me. The picture hadn't changed, but there felt like a tangible force behind it now. As we gazed into each other's eyes, my mind became completely silent. I was empty - devoid of desires or problems or thoughts. Yet I was filled with the most amazing awareness and overflowing with unconditional love for everything. I was content to sit and look upon him for all of eternity.

I somehow managed to scribble down a few sentences in my log during this, including, 'Christ's love is infinite, all else is irrelevant.' and 'When the mind is taken away, things seem as they truly are.' I felt as if he was communicating with me, yet without words. I closed my eyes and was regaled with a sense of unity, and saw fleeting images of Lao Tzu and of Jesus of Nazareth. Though I could not actually 'see' them, their presence seemed to be intuitive. I opened my eyes, and grabbed a rosary we had received in the mail in some solicitation for money. There was a metal cross with Jesus on it. I grabbed it, and kissed it, and tried to imbue the force I was experiencing into it (to use as a power object), yet try as I may, the force would not transfer. A desire suddenly popped into my head: to experience this bliss forever. However, Christ seemed to intuit to me that there was still work to be done (in my life). Moments later, the feeling that the force was about to leave arose, and I felt slightly disappointed. I looked at the picture, and suddenly it was back to being only a picture.

Still enthralled by this experience, I walked downstairs and spent a little time petting my dog, then stepped outside where it was quite cold. Even though I only had thin pants and no shirt on, I was comfortable. I returned to my room and listened to music and meditated for another few hours until I was able to rest. The last entry in my log was, 'Mission of life: free yourself from Maya.' For the rest of the next day, my mind was restless and uneasy. My ego and rational mind had been dealt a serious blow, and accordingly, I was confused.

My rationality immediately began to try to rationalize what had happened. The only thing it could up with was that peaking on the MDMA, I projected my feelings of love onto the closest available thing - which in this case was a picture of Jesus. However, this still doesn't explain my urge to 'Find Christ' or how my mind was so silent as if I was in a high meditative state, or why the perceived force spontaneously arrived and departed.

After contemplating the event for another day or two, I reached what I felt was a slightly more complete analysis of what happened. Enhanced by the LSD and MDMA, my mind entered a state of high meditation, perhaps even satori or kensho, as it's called by the Buddhists. Perhaps I reached a state of consciousness called Christ-consciousness. I think that we all are Christ and have this Christ-consciousness in us, yet most of us aren't able to realize it because of Maya (the grand illusion). Jesus of Nazareth was an extraordinarily enlightened yogi. He was so established in this 'Christ-consciousness' that he embodied it totally. As for the urge to 'Find Christ,' I still cannot explain, and I doubt my rational mind will ever be able to rationally explain this.

Christ-consciousness I believe is very similar to Samadhi, in which one experiences union with the non-dual Brahman, yet one maintains one's duality. Or perhaps it is beyond that even and Christ-consciousness is simply another label for the Tao.

Perhaps with more time I will gain greater insight into Christ-consciousness and what happened.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 49669

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 28, 2006	Views: 31,787

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)