		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 0:45
		 3 hits
		 smoked
		 DMT

This happened at the OZORA festival a couple of days ago. Before this LSD and MDA were the only hallucinogens I had used. DMT has been on my mind for a while. I read DMT: The Spirit Molecule about six months ago and had seen Enter the Void a couple of times. I was immensely curious about it and really interested in what I could learn from it. My last couple of trips on LSD were very spiritual and I was really ready for something more.

So, my friend and I were chilling at the festival one evening, hanging out on the grass with all the hippies. There were lots of people playing around, tripping, up to random things. My friend and I were having a laugh trying to decipher their conversations. Earlier we had shared a chocolate energy ball that was laced with LSD. I could feel it having a slight effect, but I assumed the dosage plus our tolerance meant that it would have minimal influence. Yes, the first time I smoked DMT I was already on LSD. A young emo looking guy came over and asked us if we wanted any changa. I was like, what is changa? Some crazy new drug we have never heard of? He explained that it was DMT. I knew the moment had come. DMT had found me. I was totally ready for whatever it would bring.

The guy was very attractive: young, tanned, calm, huge brown eyes, straight black hair with an emo fringe. He explained about the stuff, how it was healing, about how MAOI inhibitors were mysterious, how it went well with shrooms. He explained that you could repeat the dosage, if you did it again straight away there would be no tolerance. He explained it saying that the door stays open for a while; this was a nice idea. It made even more sense to me afterwards. The changa came in a tea bag: super stealthy the guy explained. I was unimpressed, I had no idea what DMT should look or smell like and didn't want to waste the 35 eur we had spent on 10 doses. He asked if we wanted to smoke it now, but I had to go find some saffi for my chillum first. This proved difficult, and meant asking a lot of random hippies for scissors and gauze. Eventually we were ready. The guy had already left, so I went up to the top of the hill with my two friends to get some space for my hit. I wanted somewhere quiet and dark, with the stars. Not that that would make any difference when the stuff came on.

I loaded the chillum. Apprehensive I took a toke. There was a slight zooming in and out effect of the trees above me, but that was it. Not enough, but the stuff was definitely real and would work.

OK, time to try this shit for real. I think I had to load the chillum again, and had two more tokes before it happened. I held it in and tried to prepare. Nothing could prepare me for what happened. Yes I read the entirety of DMT: The Spirit Molecule, but there was nothing that could describe this experience. The colours came on quickly. I was lying down. I put my arm over my eyes and went into it. I had time to say, 'Yes, it's definitely working', before I was sucked in.

The visuals were some of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life. I knew I had to remember this experience. They got more and intense. They were focused around the centre, entirely symmetrical along four or more axes like a kaleidoscope. But flowing and moving in smooth patterns. The colours were vibrant, like neon in a way, but not glowing, more like the saturation was turned up to transcendent. They were mainly green at the centre, but with red curves around the sides. The red curved shapes were kind of like the patterns you find inside a tomato, with circles of black inside the curves. The centre was a rotating radiating mass of legs or tentacles, reaching out in a spiraling movement. The centre and the whole thing in fact was constantly moving and changing, radiating outwards, always focusing towards the centre.

I knew at the centre there was a presence. The waving limbs were dancing in some tribal, primitive way. A little like the Hindu god Kali, but not angry or destructive. It was definitely female and powerful. I will try to explain what it was like. Very ancient. Ancient like the stars, like the earth. This entity was at the centre of existence. It had great power. It wasn't like the light of love and the universe you feel like LSD. It was outside of that. Outside of our universe. Definitely the feeling of something from space. This wasn't light. This was the darkness of outer space. This was hyperspace and in it was this ancient very alien being. If I had one word to describe DMT it is alien. Like the an incest mind. Analytic, rational, unemotional, unblinking. I knew there was no escaping it. I had entered it's realm and now the entirety of the ancient mind was focused on me. It wasn't malevolent, just impossible to understand its intentions. It could definitely go either way.

I was trying to remember what I had read from DMT: The Spirit Molecule while this was happening, but it was hard to concentrate on anything under the intensity, I tried to go with the visuals, trying to relax into like an LSD trip. However, nothing had prepared me for the overwhelming intensity of DMT, the beauty of the visuals and the sheer power of this force trying to suck me into hyperspace. I knew from trip reports that there was more and I was wondering if I was really was going to be catapulted off the planet. There was definitely the feeling that the entity wanted you to go further. You were under its gaze and it was intently interested in you. Submitting to something so alien was immensely difficult. I was curious but also scared. I went as far as I could but there was a tension, the force completely demanded your attention. It was beautiful, but a kind of terrible beauty. I guess this is what surprised me the most, I had spent the last couple of days doing LSD surrounded by hippies in this loving, sensitive environment, full of smiles love and a kind of joyful fun. But DMT was serious, it wasn't interested in the loving light, it was outside of that, outside of everything human, it was something above the unity of existence in this plane.

I was trying to get an impression of how quickly time was passing outside of the visions. I could hear the music going on from the festival, we could hear the chillout stage and they were playing nice ambient for the mood. From the rhythm I could tell that my sense of time was not so messed up. Time was passing at a relatively normal rate outside. Focusing on anything other than visuals was difficult. I was completely unaware of my body. Experimentally I reached my fingers into the dirt were I was lying. The ground was still there. It was good to feel the earth. It was a powerful connection to this dimension, I was reassured that while my mind was in hyperspace with the aliens, I was still a being of this planet and it was good to know that there the organic forces of life and earth were there, all around and inside of me. By this time the DMT must have come down a little. I knew I wasn't going to get sucked off the planet this time so I enjoyed the rest of the visuals while they lasted. They continued with the same intensity for quite a long time, longer than I had expected. I knew that I could open my eyes and break the trance to an extent if I wanted. After a while the beautiful flowing colours and spaces started to dissipate. They started to recede gradually, the forms were smaller and there was blackness appearing between the moving shapes. They were still immensely vibrant, even the black background had a vibrancy, if black could radiate.

I decided to open my eyes. I lept up, exclaiming, 'Oh my god that was incredible'. I felt reborn. I wondered why DMT is described as a near death experience. This was not death, this was immediate, total and complete rebirth of the mind and personality. Feeling around in my thoughts I found a complete new state. I was actually a different person. This was unexpected and new. Maybe this is what the dealer meant by it being very healing. Everything around me was new as well. Not the wonder and awe of LSD, the world had not changed, I had changed, it was liberating and an amazing experience. I dancing around a little, enjoying the music and the trees and life. How quickly DMT could have this effect was astounding, imagine condensing the personal change of an LSD trip lasting over 10 hours into only 10 or 20 minutes. I knew for sure that I would do DMT again. In, fact I felt I could do it again immediately. I packed the pipe for my friend and got him sorted out with the chillum. This is where things kind of started to take a turn to the weird.

What I am going to describe now was the most uncomfortable part of DMT for me and it is taking a lot of effort for me to put it down here in words. I don't want to remember this feeling. Even thinking about it is uncomfortable for me. I started to get these really junkie vibes. I started getting the fear. I was so completely amazed by the DMT experience was eager to repeat it. I could tell my friend felt the same. I was worried that this stuff was actually super addictive and I had made some terrible mistake, that I was going to keep doing this immensely strong hallucinogen until I broke my mind. This was combined with a kind of unexpected dissociative effect. I felt really distant from everything, from the party, from my two friends. I was wondering if they were feeling the same effect and didn't particularly want to be around them if they were. I know what it is like to be depressed, this was different. It was not sadness, but an infinite distance between me and everything that was going on around me. I was trying to reach out for something that would give me some positive emotional response, but all the usual things, hugging my friends, smoking joints and cigarettes and dancing to the music didn't help.  So, I started looking around for some good vibes.

We went back to the party and to be with all the people and the light and the music. I knew we had to go off in search of some change in scenery. It felt too junkie here in the dark on top of this hill smoking obscure life changing drugs. It was really hard to feel anything except the emptiness and distance from everything around me. I rolled a joint and smoked the whole thing without passing it. I have never before committed such a terrible breach of joint etiquette, but this was serious. I rolled another and kept it stuck in my mouth for some security as we walked. I kept the parts of myself that I could under control and we made our way to the chillout tent. Lying down, listening to the music and feeling around I understood what was going on. The LSD my friend and I had eaten earlier had kicked in. I knew I could deal with this, I just needed to dial into the light of the universe. I knew if I chilled the fuck out and concentrated, the love of universe would be out there waiting for me, just enjoy the sensations and go with it.

It turned around pretty quickly after that. I spent the rest of the night dancing to the chill out music, then taking a walk around the festival, checking out the main stage and fire dancers. I met a Hungarian guy walking through the corn fields, we flirted and had some laughs, talking about how great the festival was. The rest of the LSD was a really pleasant mellow vibe, a nice feeling of wonder and beauty without being overwhelming.

The rest of the night I tried to think back about the DMT, but it was almost physically impossible. Like the memory was locked in another part of my brain. I didn't worry about it. I figured I would have plenty of time later to understand it. By the time morning came I was able to unravel a few things. I stayed up talking the ear off my friend, awake and talkative for hours with the LSD.

The next day we planned to do DMT again. I knew there was more out there and that it would be waiting for me. It was the last full day of the festival, so it was either do it then or smuggle the changa back home (probably not entirely impossible). However, smoking it the next day was way less effective. I don't know whether the changa got damp over night, or I had some tolerance or something, or how much of an influence the LSD the previous day had. It took four tokes and loading the chillum twice to get any effect. Then there was only monochrome visuals of faint tentacley, sea urchin type things, similar to the opening part of Enter the Void, but less vivid or detailed. It was disappointing, but I already had one amazing powerful experience to take back with me, so I was not too concerned. Again afterwards there was the disassociated feeling from the people around me but I knew sticking a cigarette in my mouth, smoking a joint and drinking would chai would help it pass.

The DMT experience feels very real. The facts are that I smoked a powerful drug and had an intense experience. But I can't equate that with my personal experience of it, it was so intensely real. I know with solid conviction that that force is out there. For me it is a real thing. When I trip on LSD the feelings, experiences and visions I have on are realish. I treat them the same as stories or myths. They might not having an existence in this reality, but they influence the world through my thoughts and memories. I can use what I have learned on LSD to improve my own life and hopefully bring some good into the world. But DMT is different. The intensity of it is so incredible that it feels absolutely real. I have been thinking about it over the last couple of days, and always I have the sensation that what I experienced did actually happen out there in hyperspace, outside of existence. The being and the void are real, it is still there. If I want to go back some time in the future, it will be waiting. It's a little ominous, but I know there is great beauty and a truly amazing experience out there.

However, for the moment I think I need a little more grounding before I go back. After a week of LSD, endless joints, MDMA and the occasionally nitrous I definitely need to stay on this planet and do some grounding for a while or things might go completely sideways.

Reading back on this report I might make it seem like DMT was a bit of a negative experience for me. I don't think this is really true, it was challenging and weirder than anything I have ever experienced, but it was intense and unforgettable in a good way. I'm not sure yet what I can take away from it, I think over time and after trying it again I will be able to put some perspective into it. It has definitely made me more respectful of Ayahuasca, I won't be so glib going into that trip, an extended experience of that type would require a really clean, open and unafraid mind if it is anything like smoked DMT.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 92381

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: Jul 20, 2013	Views: 26,560

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DMT (18), LSD (2) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:

		 2 bowls
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   205 lb

The whole situation started immediately after I got off work. I headed over to my buddy's house with the intent of doing some acid for the rest of the evening. He already had his hit, so we smoked a few bong packs and headed off to grab mine. After a short drive, and a small waiting period, I was sitting in the car with my buddy, my dealer, and my dealer's friend.  [Erowid does not condone or support operating any vehicles while under the influence of any substance] Initially, I had only intended to do one of the four hits I had bought. But, in the heat of the moment, I decided to pop two of them. Now this wasn't my first time doing acid, and typically my trips have followed a flow much like life does. Initial feelings are bubbly and lead to a slow degradation eventually ending in a very thought-provoking state of gentle visuals. As this was the same acid I had experimented with only a week before, I decided that I wouldn't need to mentally prepare myself or be wary of the acid. I was completely confident in my ability to handle what the drug would throw at me.

We picked up some more greenery and headed back to my buddy T's house. There we smoked a few more bowls out of my 4.5' bong, and sat down to play some games. It was at this point that my trip began. A mild body high set in, sitting on top of the heavy buzz I had from the pot. Noticing my euphoric state, my dealer decided it would be funny to start messing with me (I was, after all, the only one on more than one hit). Everything I said, he questioned. Everything I did, he mocked. After a few short minutes of this, I felt my mental state drop to one of rejection. I tried to focus on the game, and maybe cheer myself up before I started to get heavy visuals, but I couldn't seem to focus and was continuously losing. After a mild frustration began, I suggested we smoke again. We did so, and my visuals started to take hold. I kept control for a while, focusing on the positive aspects of the trip and the fact that my work day was over, but I started to feel like my trip lacked focus. Engrossed by this thought, I suggested multiple times that we go for a walk to enjoy nature and see the beauty of Earth under the influence of acid. My requests were ignored, not even answered, and I felt the solitary feeling of rejection return.

At this point my trip became very negative. The four of us had migrated into my buddy T's room, and I was starting to feel a mixture of rejection, frustration, and cabin fever. I became antsy, impatient, and silent. I stopped paying attention to the myriad of thoughts floating through my head and focused on when my dealer and his friend would leave so me and my buddy could go on a walk and straighten our trip out. My dealer's friend decided he would leave my dealer with us, though, and was asking for a ride when I noticed my first negative visual. His face had contorted, and become old. His eyes sank into his head, and his skin drooped from his bones. I stared for a while, not sure what to think, then decided that I was starting to have an issue. I laid back and looked at the ceiling, hoping to find something intellectually stimulating in my visuals on the wood.

After a short time of spacing out into my own head, I sat up to find that my dealer's friend was now gone, and nearly an hour had passed. I looked outside, noticing the sinking sun, and my eagerness to move about returned. I grew more antsy, and once again suggested a walk. My dealer refused, but my buddy T agreed. The three of us got as far as the end of the driveway before my dealer convinced T that walking at night on acid was a bad idea, and we turned back.

After getting so close to leaving the house and being pulled back, I started to hold negative feelings about the whole trip. Around this time, I started to peak. My dealer's grin split wide and his teeth turned to fangs. My perception of the world around me distorted, and I felt as tall as every room I was in. Everywhere I looked, things seemed more and more foreign to me. I felt like I was starting to lose control of my trip, so I suggested we smoke another bowl to calm down. After we did so, my dealer and T decided to get food. I agreed, thinking that maybe leaving the house would make things better for me.

We got in the car, and I kept insisting that my dealer drive. He was the only one not tripping, and I felt like it would be a better idea. Once again, I was ignored.  [Erowid does not condone or support operating any vehicles while under the influence of any substance]  I got into the back seat and tried to focus on my visuals to take my mind off of my rising feelings of rejection. Suddenly, as we hit the road, I peaked hard. My buddy went numb, I lost my depth perception, and every light was a different color of the rainbow. My buddy T's skin had turned orange, and the inside of his car kept changing shape. I had never experienced such intense visuals on just two hits before, and panic started to rise in me. I managed to calm myself as we approached the Burger King, but it was difficult to control the intensity of the visuals I was having.

As we were driving back, I noticed that I couldn't understand a word my buddy and dealer were saying to each other. I felt like I hadn't spoken in years, and the English language seemed to have slipped my mind. This was the first thing that truly frightened me, and made me think that something was really wrong with my trip. As we pulled back into the garage, my visuals stopped making sense and my thoughts became jumbled. There seemed to be too many of them for my brain to handle, and I started to feel like it was overheating. I realized, as we stepped out of the car, that I  had my vehicle here and was definitely not driving it back. I tried to ask my dealer to help me out by driving my car for me so I could get my bong, two other hits, and myself home in one piece. My request frustrated him, though, and he rejected it.

We walked inside, and my buddy T went to go talk with his parents for some reason. I still could barely understand what anyone was saying, but I saw him walk into his mother's room. Looking around the house, I realized that I had no idea where I was. Quickly I reminded myself, and tried to strike up a conversation with my dealer. He turned to me, and suddenly the room shrank. He grew, though, and had to crouch to prevent his head from hitting the ceiling. His skin turned green, and he smiled a mouth full of fangs at me as he raised a knife in one hand. I looked away, closed my eyes, and strange visions passed over my eyelids. Two badly drawn birds were screaming gibberish at each other. I quickly opened my eyes and noticed my dealer was still nonchalantly talking to me. The knife in his hand had become a spoon, and his skin had returned to normal.

I was starting to get really worried that my trip was going to continue to go badly. I sat down and stared at the coffee table, trying to get a grip on myself. Slowly, I managed to calm myself again. I smiled and looked up at my buddy T, who was standing by the fireplace. Out of nowhere, the bricks on the fireplace started to move and shift. Interested, and no longer worried, I looked closer. I stifled a scream as I noticed the bricks were made entirely of gray snakes. One of them looked at me with purple eyes, and I stared transfixed for several minutes before looking away in fear. I decided to watch the television, but since I still couldn't understand English very well, it held no interest for me. Instead, I tried closing my eyes for some interesting visuals, but opened them again when the first thing I saw was my own eyes burning out of my skull.

I decided right then and there that I was having a bad trip and needed some help to be brought down to a better mental state. I wasn't sure how to voice it, though, and ended up turned to my dealer and saying 'I'm not doing so well. I'm not doing so well at all.' I had expected some sort of helpful response from him, since we were old friends and he had sold me the acid. Instead he just stared at me, and nodded. I looked away and up at T, hoping he heard me. But he was laughing at the TV for reasons I didn't understand. In a moment of sanity, I decided that the only way off of this bad trip was to make it good. I focused on positive thoughts, and my mental state slowly improved. I turned back to my dealer, told him I was now okay, and he nodded again.

But I was unfortunately wrong. My bad trip came back to me, and I once again voiced my need for help to my dealer. He instead said he wanted to go sell a bag, and asked T to drive him out to do so. I felt like another drive wouldn't do me any good, so I mumbled that I was going to go in the basement and try to find my mind. I descended the stairs, ignoring the visual of an eagle in the light fixture, and sat on the couch wrapped in blankets. I sat for a few moments before my trip suddenly got even worse.

There was another fireplace in the basement, directly across from me, and made from the same brick as before. As I stared, those bricks also became snakes, and the snakes stared at me with hungry eyes. I looked down at the ground to avoid their gaze, but noticed that the carpet was no longer solid. I was shifting and sinking, like quicksand, and I quickly abandoned my shoes to keep myself safe. I decided that if I balled up and just tried to go to sleep, things would get better. But every time I closed my eyes, I died in a different way. Once I turned to stone and shattered, once I exploded into mist in the vacuum of space, once I was eaten alive by a beetle. After several of these visions, I laid down to try and focus on relaxing. But my vision didn't seem to work when I was laying down, and everything looked so intensely different that I forgot where I was again. I sat up, and noticed that the whole room had changed sizes. Near me, everything was large, but farther away it was tiny. I rationalized to myself that that wasn't the case, it was just the drug, but lost control when I couldn't seem to move my legs. My body felt like it had frozen solid, and I started to panic. I couldn't yell for some reason, so instead I just repeated my name and address to myself over and over.

After several minutes of repetition, I no longer remembered who I was. My sense of self had vanished, and my body seemed to be moving on its own. I was a consciousness trapped inside a foreign body, and I felt so helpless that I decided it might be a good idea to head to a hospital or at least consult someone who wasn't on drugs. I managed to steer my slightly less numb body upstairs, but stopped when I noticed two Chimeras standing in my path. One arched its back, while another raised its tail and hissed at me. I whimpered, stepped back, and put my hands up to protect myself. After a few moments of silence, I lowered them and noticed that the Chimeras were really T's cat's. I wandered down the hallway and into T's room, where I once again forgot who and where I was, and what I was doing in this alien house. After what felt like an hour of sitting and falling in and out of myself, T's mom came by the room and asked me where T and my dealer had went. I said I had no idea, that I didn't even know where I was. She said that they had been gone for several hours, and in another short moment of sanity I remembered that I wanted help. I asked her to give me a ride home, that I was having a bad reaction to some drugs, and I was afraid for my own mental well-being. She obliged, and returned me to my house.

After several hours of sitting on my couch staring at a candle that looked the size of my head, my trip finally wore off and I fell asleep sitting up.

The next morning, I woke to find that everything still looked mostly foreign to me. I went through the events of the night before, and realized what went wrong. Had I mentally prepared myself, the trip would have been very awesome and very intense. Instead, I let myself slip into a negative state of mind and the trip went downhill from there. I don't feel any negative after-effects since, and still have my other two hits of the same acid to take at my own leisure. I feel as though next time ought to be better, as I know that it was all in my head and created by me. I had nothing to fear but myself. After talking with T a day later, I found out that he had no idea I was having a bad trip. He was so engrossed in his trip that he didn't even hear what I was saying. The reason for my dealer's lack of aid still is unanswered, and I'm still missing several things from that night (a lighter and my wallet with sixty bucks in it). But all-in-all, I feel as thought it was an educational experience for me. Now that I know what a bad trip is like, I feel as though I can conquer one should things ever go wrong again. After talking with T a day later, I found out that he had no idea I was having a bad trip. He was so engrossed in his trip that he didn't even hear what I was saying. The reason for my dealer's lack of aid still is unanswered, and I'm still missing several things from that night (a lighter and my wallet with sixty bucks in it). But all-in-all, I feel as thought it was an educational experience for me. Now that I know what a bad trip is like, I feel as though I can conquer one should things ever go wrong again.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91948

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Aug 18, 2013	Views: 40,002

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 4 drops
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 11:00
		 500 ml
		 oral
		 Alcohol

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   80 kg

Here is some background information, I'm an organist and leader of two obscure music ensembles, one baroque and the other renaissance. I say this because lysergide (LSD) allows me to drop all my learnings and typical outlook and experience music from the standpoint of somebody who knows nothing about the technical and academic side of music. The music is experienced fresh. My first languages are Occitan and French but for this website I'm using my knowledge of English so consider this if I write anything grammatically awful!

Okay, I drink somewhat, maybe a litre of 50% alcohol a fortnight but this varies, usually less. I am an old fashioned Gaul after all! I spend a lot of time attempting to discover new kinds of drinks. I have tried opium, ketamine (which doesn't affect me for some reason...it was cut with many things I suppose) and cocaine, though I've never done any speed-balling or anything like that. I was meaning to try LSD for a very long time before I finally made enough contacts to get some. I planned this first trip in a place I feel very comfortable in, the coast of Provence. I brought my friend, René, to keep an eye on me just in case. I swallowed four drops and sat on a bench with my friend in the wonderful atmosphere of the south of France with the beautiful sea and sky ahead of us. It was noon.

I had never taken a psychedelic before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Honestly I was expecting to see visual hallucinations, so for about one and a half hours we sat in front of the ocean. At this point I was getting pretty angry because I certainly wasn't seeing anything interesting going on, I thought I might have been dealt something else rather than LSD. The whole environment looked and felt exactly the same, however I was getting this excitement growing in my chest and this caused me to worry if it was actually LSD I took. Looking back on this, I can say I felt we were only sitting down for fifteen minutes. We started to walk along the sunny Provence seafront since René said he had to meet a government guy. Now I can definitely see some strange things going on, depending on where I look, the coast changes its proportions. It becomes quite enjoyable walking, though I was still not convinced it was LSD yet...it could have been heat stroke since it was 35 degrees.

I can understand why people say you can relive your childhood with this chemical, everything seems colourful, interesting and new. Even though we were in the present, it seemed like we were walking through a nostalgic dream sequence and we ended up in a coffee shop. At this point I at once experienced very many different perspectives of the room, each one sliding into the other and this was the moment I indeed knew it was acid I swallowed. Though I was holding up fine, René kindly reassured me nonetheless. The experience of walking around at this point was a kind of non-drunk intoxication as was when walking to the coffee shop. Great distances flew by as when one has drunk, but this was novel as I had few, if any negative effects to do with alcohol. In fact, to compare this to being intoxicated with alcohol, I would say that alcohol is more of a 'soft' intoxication because, even when severely drunk, one is still safe in one's hard universe. With LSD I think it's harder intoxication because your universe will become unstable.

In the bathroom, with the angular strange-shaped room and mirrors, the experience was extremely strange. I could have toyed with the perspectives of the room, the mirror reflection of myself or the viewpoint of my hands in the sink being cleansed by water for hours, but I didn't want René to worry. All the while this was going on, I still was having this constant flow of energy flowing from the area of my heart.

Anyway, upon leaving the coffee shop, we walked into the city centre and it was a fairly busy day. When we walked along the pavement, it was like standing on a conveyor belt being whisked along, all the while inspecting and reviewing each person's strange and very unique face. The drug was causing people's faces to exaggerate their proportions in realistic ways to produce very diverse and, later, rather frightening visages.

Eventually we sat down in a pleasing area and I had a panoramic view of the entire park. I felt like...where I would normally have one computer monitor in front of me, here I had three. Almost like a fisheye lens, I could see an awful lot. I forgot to mention again, earlier from walking to the coffee shop to the park, I was strongly aware of this orientation device. I was experiencing something which in ordinary consciousness was obscured and ignored. While walking along, I had an extremely strong feeling of that I was walking along a small globe, although never quite walking all the way round to reach the original point. This feeling somehow coexisted with the ordinary experience of going from A to B. Anyway, here, at the park, I had a small fantasy, looking at the way the statues co-existed with the trees and birdlife, of a world where greenery in much of every city was a normal way of life and humans couldn't survive without excesses of it. After this daydream passed, I realised I could focus on different branches of various trees all at once, whereas normally one could only focus on one. And this felt truly real, as with all aspects of this trip, for in this case, I could focus on one small bird on the nearest tree, and at the same time see a nest holding onto a branch quite a bit further away, among other things. However at this particular point in time, the sun was lessening its heat and there were many insects, so we moved on.

René had an appointment with an administrative body and so I remained in the waiting room. How long I remained there was a mystery and I will certainly quiz him for this. In my mind it could have been anywhere between 15 minutes and an hour and 15 minutes. During this experience I tested and probed my new-found abilities. I examined the floor, which were wooden floorboards. I tried to force the texture of them to move and so it did! It all ended up slinking towards the side of the room like a snake or a stream while more of the same emerged from the other side of the room.

I examined my right hand. This was incredible and I am familiar this is a very common thing people tripping do, but honestly, wow. First of all I could change the depth of field willingly. I adjusted my eyes to take the depth of field to the shallowest level, so the background was beautifully blurry and my hand was in extremely good focus. I felt as if I had a neurological upgrade to my brain or something, it was unbelievable. Previous to this first trip, I was lusting after cameras and lenses which could take wonderful, very aesthetically pleasing photos, but now, I was viewing things which only some kind of brain-screen-print could save. All the while since my trip began, I have had a stream of somewhat pleasurable energy coming from my chest, I want to make this part important and I will later come back to it. Anyway, back to my hand...I could look very closely into the inside of my hand, my palm, and see blood vessels and such things but I wasn't too interested in the workings of my hand and instead tried to see how many guises it could assume.

Now looking onto the outside of my hand, I could make it seem many things, by shifting it slightly this way and that. I could make it seem like a reptilian, menacing, threatening-looking instrument. In this way I feel like I was regressing back into prior evolutions somewhat, as my hand ended up looking like it could pierce and slash a wild boar. All the while it looked extremely realistic, in the sense that I can easily imagine people taking these visions seriously while not aware of the drug's effects. A more unsuspecting or simple minded person would be frightened, I'm sure. Now, moving it a different way, it looks very different. Feminine, even seductive...I decided to check my phone.

My iPhone was absolutely amazing like this. I felt like I was using a device fifty years before it's time. The text and objects shaked and danced, what have you, and moved around casually. The background looked more like a three dimensional animation. The physical dimensions of the phone changed proportions depending on how hard I squeezed it from the sides. Anyway, my companion was back and off we went.

It must have been 4:30 or something by this time but this was a complete mystery to me as I felt we had been around two hours after consuming the LSD rather than four and a half.

At this point I would remind the reader of the chest energy business. While walking, this became a kind of life energy. Perhaps this will creep some readers out but for some reason my automatic breathing ended up breathing out quite slowly and only when it became obvious to me I needed to inhale I breathed in again and this was immensely pleasurable. This will sound weird I'm sure, but breathing in and out was giving a very unique pleasure, I felt I revitalised my body with each breath and I felt like a kind of living wave as we slipped through crowds of people on the pavement.

Eventually we reached the seafront again and I had a good view of the coast. Strangely, and kind of deliciously, it looked like a kind of moving (over-the-top) HDR photo.

At this point, we walked through inspecting various roller-coaster rides. This at the time reminded me of the scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where the two main characters go into that carnival. Like in that film, it ended up becoming a bit nightmarish, especially when René insisted on going on this massive swing type ride that swings from left to right. I pleaded with him not to go on it, but he wouldn't have any of it and bought two tickets. By this time I was panicking a bit, which I certainly would be under sober circumstances anyway. At this point I was about five hours into the trip. The indifferent man who seemed very disenchanted with life strapped us to this massive machine and up we slowly went. We were slowly being risen into the air and I was just hoping the experience would be over calmly and quickly. I was wrong and I am reliving the experience just typing this because the event has ingrained itself on my mind so completely.

In case I haven't helped you reader visualise the situation well enough, the contraption had us higher than 90 degrees on one side and it would basically drop us and we would swing forwards and backwards until it ran out of energy. However, at this point, I thought it would drop with far less weight and momentum for some reason.

The feeling of when it dropped...I will never forget it. The force pulling and pushing on me when I was thrown down had me completely under the impression I was strapped to a massive malfunctioning machine that was going to pull me right into the ground and kill me. My helpless body alongside my legs visibly dangling out of the clamp I was half-enclosed in was pulled so hard this way and that by forces outside of my control, I had what one might call a little spiritual experience, though it was only a few 'real world' seconds. I was experiencing two things. First was that, while in the waiting room, I was a predator, yet now, I was a helpless lamb being thrown extremely hard this way and that. Secondly, my friend betrayed me and sentenced me to death.

We had not even swung to the other side until now and now I had a new urgent problem. The ground and the main body of the machine was now coming towards us at what felt like terminal velocity. Aside from thoughts of impending doom, I also had enough time to fit in my mind how ridiculous all those adverts for '3d' televisions and things were. After making the first full swing, it was naturally immeasurably more realistic, exciting and crazy than what 3d, HDR and whatever TVs or glasses could dream of doing. Each time I swung towards the ground again it was a billion times what I could have imagined the character from 2001: a space odyssey experienced at the end, for example.

I mean, I've always hated that gimmicky modern 3D film crap from the beginning, but this gives me the knowledge to laugh at it all the more.

Anyway, after this immediate experience comes to an end, we slowly walk away from this area. I was experiencing the relief of surviving what felt like a brush with death, having a lion ripping my guts out, and also seeing what those adverts for 3D really want you to imagine. Besides I still kinda had the feeling my friend brought me up to the gallows to be hung and put a board beneath the trap door at the last moment. By the way, while on that contraption, he claimed I was looking dead ahead the whole time, apparently not the usual reaction.

Though I had survived this event, this quickly degraded into rocky trip territory. The sounds of people talking and shouting, often in different languages, Arab or something, put me on edge. Everybody had extremely caricatured faces. Continuing the line of energy from my heart, I now felt like a racing vehicle with petrol running through my veins. There was also a mixture of acid in my breath which reminded me of nitros.

I also had another 'spiritual moment' where, although it feels everybody else on their trips say they feel they had connected with the whole world, I felt very profoundly alone. Far more so than even usually. At the time I felt the only thing I could feel as I walked were my lungs and heart connected by rubber tubes to my brain and this was extremely unsettling. I had this line of thought running in my head that although sometimes we may be the masterminds and the people in control, when I was dropped on that machine I was being swatted like a fly. I felt extremely depressed as a new revelation came upon me that everyone is alone in this world, and though I'm not usually that keen on dualism, I strangely felt that everybody had a kind of small, strained soul connected to their body. This was just a eerie feeling.

Waiting for the bus to go home was the continuation of this nightmare. This was the 6 hour mark. It's rush hour so after seeing my good friend off I get in an extremely crowded bus and because I'm quick, I get a seat. If there were elderly I would have given it up but there weren't any, surprisingly.

I was wearing sunglasses where people couldn't see my eyes, so this gave me free reign to inspect the people on the bus. I did place special importance on making sure I didn't lose my phone that was in my pocket because on LSD, my mind searches for something to focus on and this can mean I temporarily lose sight of things that would normally be more-so in the foreground. But anyway, these people's faces were grotesque! On the whole, I'm indifferent to people's appearances but I was stuck on a tight bus of monsters. Everybody seemed to be half squinting, leaving their mouth agape, spitting everywhere when they talk etc.

The ride seemed to take forever. After exiting the bus, my left hand started clamping together. Once again, aware of the drug's temporary effects I didn't stress any more unnecessarily...but seriously, the left side (from the back) of my left hand was collapsing into a claw.

When I got home, I had to act natural in front of my roommate who's one of those types who are strongly 'anti drugs' but drink alcohol, smoke, drink much caffeine and swallow pharmaceuticals constantly. But at least they had dinner ready for me, which was nice. It was stew. By the way, going out of my way to act normal on LSD is possible but a huge, massive pain in the ass and brings me into more negative territory.

I was starving and I tried not to look at the pieces of meat in the rice I was eating, as I did for a few seconds and then it started to squirm as if it were alive. Another strange thing about LSD is that although I was completely satisfying my hunger and thirst, I could barely take any pleasure from this decent, hearty food. It felt like I was throwing coal into a steam engine, which is really terrible because I cannot stand people who wolf down food without tasting it. But it couldn't be helped.

I also did the other typical LSD thing of looking at my eye on the mirror next to a light source and honestly, I could have done it all day, it was fascinating. The image was impossibly sharp in my brain and it was no illusion. It was as if in normal life my body was at 100%, but under LSD it focused my resources and whatever I focused on drove that function to 160%.

I went into my office, which has my computer system and a quite tall upright piano.

This was about seven o'clock. The next fifteen minutes were where I experienced a ++++ Shulgin Scale moment or the closest thing I have experienced to it. My computer was on at this point and I was only reclining in my office chair with no music or anything, gazing at my background, which was one of my photos from the Austrian countryside. At this point I felt several portals to other worlds open up on both far sides of my vision and above also. The right side had a view on the train tracks of some place I didn't recognise, perhaps somewhere in Eastern Europe. The left side was the view into the street out of an apartment bathroom in Barcelona (I've been to Barcelona, but not that bathroom) and the portal above me went straight to the sunny sky, with a few cumulus clouds. It was now dark outside.

For a few moments I stayed like this, just relishing the moment of having views to some places elsewhere.

After a minute or two I went over to my piano. I was intensely curious to see what it would be like to play at the peak of a trip. I began Beethoven's op.111, his final piano sonata (a piece I'm somewhat renowned for performing in connoisseur circles) and it was an extraordinary experience, almost unsurprisingly at this point. Even though I was not on the pipe organ, I still felt as if I was. After performing in a church, an upright piano like this would usually feel small to me but today it may as well have been the largest organ ever built. I became the villain who plays the organ alone in his castle. The keys of the piano assembled themselves on the piano to snarl at me and grimace. Somehow playing the piano had become extremely perverse. After four minutes my mind couldn't handle the concentration any more and I made an impromptu end to the private performance.

At this point I wanted to return to normal sober life. Lysergide is a drug that pushed and manipulated my body intensely but at this point I wanted the relief of being able to relax a moment rather than be forced into remaining in hyper mode. Thankfully I only had about an hour left so I closed my eyes and listened to music until I went back to baseline and it was beautiful to go back to normal. Also, LSD forced me to hear the music differently. My focus turned to the background parts, counter melodies and things that are obscured in the texture. Also the distortion of MP3 files became obvious, though not repellent.

Also, while coming down I thought of how different LSD actually is as opposed to how it's portrayed in the media. On television and in the public consciousness its a drug that makes you see rainbows and unicorns and mushrooms and things like this. To me, however, it's a weapon that lets me hone my mind on whatever I want to do, and experience life in an alternative fashion.

Okay, so I ingested the four drops of LSD at noon and the trip was certainly over by 8pm. However for hours afterwards, there remained a cold, hard metallic taste on my tongue and in my being. This acid after-effect remained quite unpleasant, between 11pm and midnight I drank 50cl of armagnac though this seemed to take very little effect on me and the sharpness of the acid after-taste practically defeated it. Typically I would have expected to be able to sleep at two o'clock, though on this night my mind just couldn't rest and I only managed to finally fall when the light began to come into the house.

The next day I was generally too exhausted to reflect but I felt something life changing had happened the previous day.

A few days later I read about the Holonomic Brain Theory, which fit into my new world-view perfectly. Before taking lysergide, I had a pretty good idea that reality was an environment created in the brain manufactured from incoming stimuli and therefore possibly false but I still couldn't bring myself to handle that completely. 'If I can touch or hold another person, surely they are there and that's it' is what my common sense tells me. But when I took LSD, reality and my usual consciousness really did change. It isn't a drug I had to work with to get any effect of reality change. It changed my reality and this temporary reality will be just as real as the one we experience on a day to day basis, at least that's what I believe. Since then I have taken LSD several times and it consistently allows me to make real my outlook that everything I experience, normal life and all, is just an illusion, since I can, with LSD, get a somewhat different, equally realistic reality. I believe this fits perfectly with the HBT which in effect says that actual existence is a whirlpool of waves and the mind interprets the signals to make the hard reality and clearly LSD can make this hard reality radically alternative.

My family are neurotic Catholics who would say that there is reality and LSD throws me into a world of illusions, though I'm sure that would begin to question things if they utilised this chemical too.

LSD has changed my life because, while I would believe that reality and appearances are unimportant in theory, it was too difficult to really believe it practically. Now I do believe it wholeheartedly, because a tiny amount of lysergide can make my brain organise a new reality just like that, so how can what the typical reality be so important?

So that is my experience with LSD, I will probably continue to use it every few weeks or so, for recreational reasons. After-all, it can be a very fun drug if I use it intelligently. I've utilised it on several days out immersed in nature and also during concerts to approach the music differently and my audience are often left intensely pensive after these performances.

The final line I will leave is, If you want sheer pleasure, take your opium or heroin with all its associated risks, but if you want intellectual pleasure and new insight, though no overwhelming pleasure is guaranteed, consider LSD.

~Jean Whisrulgso (a pseudonym...though readers I am there with you in spirit!)

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 90892

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 17

Published: Nov 20, 2013	Views: 18,552

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LSD (2) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

Everything and nothing that you had possibly imagined...

All the preparation, reading, learning, seeking &amp; understanding has been futile, until you experience it yourself..

Mild anxiety, watching, waiting...feeling. Is anything happening? Is it working? Am I ok? What have I got myself into? The rollercoaster ride has just begun, you strap yourself in, a willing passenger. No turning back now my friend, why would you even if you could? This is what you waited for, this is what your life had been leading up to.

Thoughts begin melding into one another, to and fro, Pow! Pow! Pow! Tiny explosions in the mind...the ride growing ever faster. Soon enough you can't keep up with your own thoughts. Life itself spirals in your mind, your past, your future, the present. What is the present? How did I get here? Who...who am I? What is I?? Why do I need an I?

You let go.

Ego less and in the moment

There is no I, there is no You.

There is one. One humanity, One mind, One consciousness.

Streaming in all at once...the reducing valve of the mind has been unplugged...nothing is held back now, all is in front to take in, to see, to be. Distant memories brought to the forefront, reliving childhood moments as if they were real, but that was only a second in time.

Time, the one constant, now lost. Lost in the swirling multitude of thoughts, ideas, inspiration. If there is no I, there is no Time. Time ceases to exist...

Landscapes flood in through the third eye, urging you to dig deeper, to delve further into this unexplored territory. Not yet, you tell yourself, not this time...

Colours come to life, swirling and joining in a joyous cosmos in front of you. As clear as day, as vivid as anything seen before! This is how we could see you think? This! This is how we should see!

The thought is fleeting as ten thousand more pummel down the neurological paths...

Distant now so as not to all be fully remembered, yet there inside somewhere...waiting to once again burst forth...

Time eventually takes its toll. Emotions run high as your body and mind are overworked, overtired and over zealous when you really need to sleep. Just when you give up and admit defeat to this idea, a tear springs forth and begins a stream emotional refuge, pouring out any demons you had carried, any baggage, any negativity towards the world...

You hug your mother and tell her just how much she means to you while still more tears run down your face...

Her motherly instincts direct you to the waiting pool...

You dive in and at once feel cleansed, floating under the water you reflect on the last 12 hours, sometimes horrifying, beautiful, insightful, joyous...incredible...

You emerge from the water...

Reborn.

Thank you, Albert Hoffman.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 90120

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Dec 30, 2013	Views: 14,567

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LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), Glowing Experiences (4)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1.5 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 11:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 12:00
		 2 shots
		 oral
		 Alcohol

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   190 lb

I hardly dabble in anything other than the daily smoking of weed and weekend drinking. So when my friend E tells me he knows someone with quite a bit of LSD to sell, I get immediately excited but wary at another go-round of purchasing and tripping. Having wasted two days on bunk acid in the past, I was ready for a clear picture of what acid was even like. I was never impressed by my two previous trips with only mild effects from the blotters and gel tabs I tried. Comparable to my separate glowing experiences on mushrooms, weed, ecstasy and peyote, acid was not memorable. Regardless of my reluctance to try out Lucy again, I decide to purchase 15 hits of it from E's friend. Apparently marketed at 125 micrograms a blotter, this stuff looked far more legitimate than the blue blobs and discolored papers I ingested in the past. A design of the Hindu goddess Lakshmi was repeated on the delicate perforated paper, with an overlay of psychedelic colors. I was indeed impressed and very excited to have a proper meeting in the next few days with the Lady.

I originally planned to trip on my own on 2 hits. I was impatient to wait for my usual tripping partner, D, to find a day in her schedule to trip. Being my roommate, best friend, and partner in crime for many years, D is always with me and quite rarely are we apart around friends. This summer in the Midwest was proving to be a psychological challenge for myself with family issues and general college/future of my life stress. I felt that a trip by myself might be a good idea to help solve some issues and think deeper on things I never could ponder in a sober mind of guilt and anxiety. This idea soon was improved on by the surprising request of my friend S to join me on my trip. S was also a weed connoisseur and occasional experimenter with mushrooms although never with acid. He explained to me his claimed sensitivity to psychedelics, such as his intense trips on mushrooms. Because of this, S wished to only get a feel for the acid, requesting half of a blotter hit when the time came. I agreed that a trip with him would be great for the next day, with a forecast of beautiful weather. S is very much a brother to me and I felt almost as comfortable with him as D by this point in our friendship. I liked the idea of tripping with a logical, grounded person that had the ability to take care of me if the trip was to go badly. I have always appreciated the complement of S's methods of thinking through situations and being calm in situations where my eccentric, flighty mind freaks out. I was ready to trip.

S arrived at my apartment at around 12:15 on a fine Saturday. Because of the somewhat secrecy needed of taking the acid because my drug-hating other roommate being in the apartment, we went to my room to talk over some of the things first. S had spent the night reading up on LSD and what to expect. I extensively had read online on a few separate occasions to get an idea as well and was ready for this trip to take on characteristics of Lucy, not weak trips. I had only eaten an orange and drank some cold tea that morning, in order to avoid the nausea I commonly get when dealing with any sort of psychedelic. We only dwelled in my room for about 2 minutes before I got out the tweezers to handle the paper. It was decided that S would take half, and I would take 1.5. The rough measurements on what E's dealer told me would equal that S was ingesting 65 micrograms and I was ingesting 190 micrograms. I had no point of reference to know what was standard for me so it seemed like a calm amount. I was really anxious that S wouldn't feel anything from his scrap of paper. We both sat in my freshly cleaned room and put the paper under our tongues. The placebo effect immediately rushed over my body and I felt an air of excitement for the irreversible adventures ahead. S agreed that a body buzz was felt within five minutes, but I assured myself it was only me getting my hopes up.

 [Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

I started to quickly gather my belongings for the day knowing we should soon depart from the apartment to avoid tripping around my roommate. I packed what I felt were essentials in my small satchel: phone, water, chap stick, gum, $20, iPod, bug spray and drug journal from years ago. S brought along a notebook and small video camera to document our journey on film. At 12:45, we set off for a stretch of forest I have frequented on other drug journeys and smoking sessions. It was a 15 minute walk to the magical forest, taking place along a busy stretch of road flowing out from my college campus. Although it was already humid and hot so early on in the day, I didn't mind it. S and I caught up on trivial things in our lives and began musing what the trip would bring. My mind was slightly pre-occupied with thoughts of D at her job and wishing she was enjoying the day with us.

At around 1:00 we made it to the entrance of the forest, behind a student dormitory. I am hardly what you would call an outdoorsy person but I do soberly love nature and appreciate it just as much as those that can go camping and love it. The magical forest was quite buggy on our initial entrance, so we both sprayed ourselves in a thick layer of repellent. I started to giggle at S and the gnats that kept flying into his long eyelashes. The path at the entrance had two choices, so I chose the one that would show S the awesome tree in the river I like to sit on when I smoke. I wasn't sure how long the forest would captivate S's interest in our acid haze to come since S is far more technologically amused and has really improved my life in the same way via exploring the internet and such. I was sure that we would get bored of the forest and venture home within 2 hours.

We walked deep into the forest, following the Green Birch River as the trail swerved next to it. We got to the tree and sat for a bit, talking and enjoying nature. I always seem to notice how the roots look like dinosaur bones halfway uncovered by the base of the tree. I got out my journal and started to doodle and jot down my thoughts. On that page I had written 'oh yes, the bark is smooth, dragonflies, if I wanted to I could snap out of it but something is so beautiful in my mind right now'. I doodled some geese and the tree, wondering why S didn't want to sit with me. I was definitely getting hit by the acid, feeling waves of delirious nausea and confusion. I knew how to control the urge to panic and tell S that it was all about to get crazy. It certainly was but for his first time I wanted him to identify when he felt his dose come on. I still had the ability to text and write.

Things chilled out for a second in my mind when we switched to talking about smoking green. It was the beginning of the trend of 'normalcy' as I will dub it. Talking about something so commonly referenced and done between S and I was very ordinary and normal, therefore I felt comforted. We decided to walk further and put on more bug spray. It felt like a beautiful little happy adventure for us with nothing to do the whole day or night. We approached a cross-section of trails with a setup of hopscotch using logs. It made me smile that something from a suburban playground could manifest itself in the wild if in demand. We looked across the forest canopy to see a black and brown squirrel chattering and fighting each other. It suddenly appeared to be the textbook case of race and ethnicity and how it translated from animals to humans. I felt the urge to explain to S my theory on how different colors of squirrels indicate different breeds, therefore they know to be scared and defensive of different genetic makeup than their own. However, since humans all contain the same genetic makeup, we should not be intimidated by others' different outer appearance. I thought of my Indian Race &amp; Ethnicity class professor in the woods in her traditional dressings watching the squirrels interact.

The colors all around us by this time were beautiful. A forest of greenery and sunshine with hundreds of plants and animals seemed like a mind treat. Feelings of being in a dream and being stoned ruled my sensations. The vivid colors of dragonflies amused me as S began coming up, I think. Between 1:30 and 2:30ish we wandered and S had a great idea involving using the iPhone App that allows you to find hidden treasure called geocaching. S and I looked up for treasure in the area and were giddy to see that one was marked as very close to us in the woods. I began to explain my only time burying something as part of a self-treasure hunt in the future, which turned into an elaborate lie to avoid telling S it was a McDonald's toy in a jewelry box. It just seemed like such a trivial piece of childhood memory that I felt embarrassed to share with him, having never really thought of that memory since I was 8.

Well our hunt began for the geo. I was beyond excited to find something while on acid. Making do without GPS, we wandered up a new trail, trying to keep in mind where we came from to avoid acidy panics later. We decided to rest in the middle of a trail on a log, still admiring the vibrant canopy and little forest noises. S brought up a random memory from a party the previous weekend we both were at, involving me seeing an ex-boyfriend. As I started musing on how strange it was to see him, I started to think S was him trying to trick me into talking about himself. I was frazzled that I had weirdly associated that in my mind, and told S what happened. We both decided to keep on moving but standing up from the log opened up the full-on trip. I stared into S's face and saw how the flaps of skin hung on his jaw and cheek bones. The idea that his face was just nerves and flesh constructed so normally onto bones was silly to me. We are all just bones with animation.

As I was staring intently at his face, he beckoned for me to come along. That's when the tracers began to appear. I was ecstatic! Tracers were something I always read in trip stories yet never managed to achieve. His hand would move and I could see a smearing in the air of the hand colors. It was amazing and I was glad S could see the beginning of it too. We played around watching each other move and observing the crazy visuals of tracers. The whole scene was a euphoric melting pot of happiness to me and I began realizing the ludicrousness of the situation. We wandered deeper into the forest and I began giggling my asshole off. Nothing could stop the laughter; in fact everything seemed to appreciate the maniacal chuckle I was emitting. The bushes, trees, and stumps we passed were all in agreement I was right for laughing. I noticed S wasn't saying much so I assumed I was freaking him out with how strong my trip was getting. Thinking about how concerned I was in a time of utter mind control made me giggle harder. I didn't recognize my own laugh which in turn creeped me out which then caused me to laugh more over how insecure I was being around S.

S started to think out loud about the future of reality. We wondered if someday virtual reality could make us feel like we were us in that moment. We stood and stared at each other, realizing none of our feet atoms were touching Mother Nature's ground, or that when we touched arms they were not really touching since it was all force of collision. By this time we had given up on the geo and embraced the idea of a full day's trip ahead of us.

At 3:00 I texted my other dear friend SU to let him know I was an oxen deep in an acid trip. SU has been the knight to my drug crusades, introducing me to the world of mind-expanding drugs. I owe him a lot for the knowledge and safety he always brings to the drug table. The texting was difficult to say the least. S and I started walking different trails from the main 4-point cross road. We almost made it to the beginning, despite landmarks making little sense. Some animal-like symbols were spray painted on wooden markers and I accepted it as some form of woodsmen code. I somewhat knew what trails would take us where so I led S to a torn-down teepee frequented by weed smokers on campus. We sat at the site, looking around and cooling off. Putting the plastic of the water bottle up to my mouth felt strange and S agreed and began giggling over it. My mom called at some point, which I refused to answer. S was awful at directions, given his unfamiliarity with the forest and his new state of mind. I decided I knew the way home pretty surely; therefore we would go further into the forest, following Big River still. As we walked I felt a surge of pure light coming from within. I felt so clean and understood by my surroundings, including S. It was like something more beautiful than my desired soul was leading us, and I was ready to embrace it strongly.

The path began to widen and become more finely packed. We discussed how amazingly strong the Lucy was. S seemed to be really enjoying himself, which pleased me. I was terrified of S having an awful trip and being a damper on mine. We seemed to be tuned into each other well, only using minimal words to communicate and being open with each other about everything we thought of the trip. A tree marked a side of the pathway with 'LSD' carved into it, making me feel a little less special for choosing to do acid in the forest far after someone else obviously. S put down his water bottle since it was too much for him to carry and I grinned at the idea of him being a Russian version of Hansel and Gretel. We walked into a clearing with a bridge for a busy road overtop of us. It was so strange to just waltz out of a forest on acid into a tunnel under the bridge covered in shiny graffiti, then into a new strange world. The graffiti itself provided ridiculous visuals, reflecting its shiny coating into the river the flowed next to it.

The other side of the tunnel was unfamiliar at first to me. It appeared to be a beautiful park, complete with kids playing basketball and benches to rest on. S and I kept grinning and looking at each other with wide eyes, confused and pleased at where Mother Nature had dropped us. It was a new chapter in our trip where human interaction with people not on acid might become necessary. I was very cautious to not look at anyone other than S. We kept to ourselves on a slanted grassy hill, talking in small fragments and laying down in the shade. The levels of volume we were talking at were so hard to understand. I kept thinking we were drawing attention for talking so quietly but feared to talk any louder just in case I blurted out a trippy moment within earshot of an old person. It was maybe around 3:45 by this time.

I was beginning to feel so perplexed by the smallest things. I felt covered in sticky residue, didn't care about the bugs in my hair, and was overwhelmed again by peace and giggles. My mind shifted to a complex topic dealing with memories and dreams. I tried to examine how my own mind was working, whether I was conjuring up old playbacks of memories to invoke my thoughts or if pictures were used or even words. I was unsure if S was comprehending my ramblings and unsure of his state altogether. I realized then how different our relationship felt in those moments, that we were talking totally different than our usual hanging out chats. Our humor was totally different on acid together and I started feeling a really strong connection to S for being there on the grassy hill with me. I had never just laid bare in the grass and stared at someone for so long while talking, it was relaxing and great. We both seemed to be open to freely saying whatever was on our mind as we stared at the trippy clouds. I became extremely sad at how I never seemed to notice this natural kaleidoscope of beauty in nature before. I felt selfish for never looking so intently at nature as I do myself. I then got an overwhelming unpleasant feeling of being caged by clothing. Like every point in our journey, as soon as we became restless of the surroundings we followed Big River farther. We both noted that we couldn't feel our thirst or hunger, even after so long without food or water.

Only a few yards from our green mini-hill, we decided to take a break in the sun of a strip of land next to the sidewalk. It felt so out of place to be squatting in the middle of a grassy area where people could walk by. I soon recognized my surroundings as a part of campus I rarely ventured to. I was again shocked that we managed to walk from my apartment to this point on campus and more so that the trail led there. While sitting again, I realized we had been in our new chapter from 4:00-4:45. The kids playing basketball made us laugh at the idea of trying to play in our state. I started to look at my hands closely and imagine all of the things my hands have been through. Bracelets I made when I was 10 were made with the same hands I use now to break up weed. It was a really weird concept that left me wanting to look at S's hands and touch both of ours. I was hyper-aware of how special my body was to my brain, being the only one my brain ever can have. We soon got up from our spot to look into the river and see little mini-lobster crayfish. We both realized just how important it is to do something out of the ordinary with someone else to make it appear intentional and normal, like something as simple as sitting in the grass together.

I'm guessing at around 5:00 we decided music might be a fun idea. My iPod was dead upon inspection, killing my vision of leading each other around whiling listening to music, relying only on body language and pointing to communicate. S seemed to appreciate this idea instantly which reinforced my feelings of connection to him and nature. We wandered down a staircase to the underpass of another bridge although S was reluctant to go. Underneath it I screamed as a bird flew out from hiding, causing a major overload of echoing sounds. We came out on the other side of the road, next to a campus building I used to work in. It appeared so different and distant to me, and memories of my old boss began to flood my happy brain. I halted those thoughts to avoid anything bad happening and continued walking the path next to Big River with S. We needed water and I knew the perfect place to find such a thing. We walked toward a big lecture hall I was quite familiar with while passing a tree that looked like it was melting in the heat. The bark looked like the inside of a popcorn bag and I felt really bad for how hot it must be. Inside the lecture hall, we were overwhelmed by the air conditioning, yet automatically saddened by the lack of nature we had been submerged in for so many hours. We had deep realizations of how pathetic it was to have huge buildings stuck in the middle of a serene wilderness of sorts and that it was our reality of how much we disrespected nature and forced our living onto it. While inside, I decided to try to use the bathroom. It was just a weird situation to me but calmed by the normalcy of such a routine. Although the acid was in full force, I could still remember the basic routine of using the bathroom, washing my hands, and drying them. I knew it was normal so feeling in the moment awkward and unsure of my actions revealed to me just how much I was fucked by the acid. Looking in the mirror was also intense in a strange way, staring at my plain and contorted face. The flesh hanging on my cheekbones was startling and I couldn't understand how my eyes looked so different. They were huge saucers on my face, drawing me in for a closer examination, so wide like they didn't want to miss a single thing happening. They looked innocent and evil all at once and I decided to rejoin S before he got bored.

Standing around in W Hall, I could sense movements in the hallway that indicated people were present. I decided to tour S around the hall including a very large lecture room that could seat 600. We sat in the chairs in the back, looking out at the large classroom and giggling again at the ridiculousness of the situation and concept. I tried to remember the class I had taken in that room before but could hardly remember word-for-word anything the professor said. I had listened to him for countless hours and never once locked in my memory a distinct thing he always said or anything like that. I began trying to explain to S this thought I was having about the weirdness of my memory and asked him about the phone call he earlier had with his grandma. S speaks Russian with his family including his grandma who had called him when he got to my apartment. I love talking about language and how crazy of a concept it is, especially when it ties into memory. I questioned if S had stored the memory as pictures or if he remembered the exact Russian words for what she talked to him about, or if it was in English. It was a concept I could not figure out, especially for my own experiences of using only English.

Deep in conversation, we were startled by people coming in from outside the hall; we quickly got up and left the classroom, chattering nonsense phrases that I felt made us look suspicious. Talking became really frustrating and exhausting for me since I just barely could put into words what I felt from Lucy. I realized that the words I chose to say were reflecting to S what kind of person I was and from then on I told myself I would stop using such dirty language. We ventured up some stairs to a study nook on the second floor. When asked about classes I had taken in W Hall, I could hardly remember the past 2 years of my college education. I then realized how new everything was that day to S, from the forest to the buildings, since he was not a student on this campus. I admired him for being adventurous and trusting me to show him neat places. It was a great feeling to realize S had given me his full trust, and that both of us were okay and content with spending a full day with only each other, like a nomadic family of sorts.

After venturing back outside into our homeland, we found a map of campus. It was maybe 5:30 by now and I remembered another beautiful place to show S. We had to cross a bridge to get there with the noisy rapids interrupting my thoughts. I pondered with S what it would be like to be deaf or blind on acid. We tried plugging our ears and closing our eyes. That's when the gorgeous undiscovered world of patterned closed-eye visuals hit me. We walked across and to the place I wanted him to see, being a nice little opening where the river hits a small dam and creates rough rapids. Ducks were just content being around us as we looked into the river. By this time, D was off of work and texted me to come join us. D was with me the first few times we tried 'acid' and generally really loved it. I was reluctant at first to let in an outsider to our twisted logical acidic world but reassured myself that of all people D would be able to put my mind at ease. We waited for her arrival until 6:30. As she approached, I was confused at the beautiful apparition that she was in the sunshine, yet sensed that she was up to no good. I was intent on staring at her until I could figure out what it was that was so off in my best friend. She instantly told me what a creep I was being and that my eyes were scaring her. I became really nervous and giggly and really tense with the whole situation of her being present. Her hair was now blond and her body was really morphed and new to me. I swear I could see the evil in her eyes as she tried to barely understand our predicament. She walked too fast for our leisurely stroll, which explained how it took us 6 hours to walk from our apartment to the dam on campus, which usually might take an hour at the most. I kept trying to look at D and realize who she was to me and how much I loved her, yet something in my mind kept telling me she had bad intentions and was trying to steal S away from me. As soon as I got up the courage to voice these opinions, they seemed silly and I laughed about it. D asked if I could get her some weed for the night, to which it suddenly clicked that she was only with us for her own personal amusement and to use me for weed. I tried to hide how weirded out I was by her and the place in time we were. We sat on the edge of the grass with our feet in the water, trying to tell D about our day thus far. We were still far enough into our trip that it was beyond difficult to make rational sense. Later D told me that she felt like she was tripping balls in that moment with us because of the way we were talking and acting. As S and I sat there, we began only pointing to show each other cool things the water was doing. Dots of water led to magnificent ripples, which led to swirls of water until it smashed into the dam. S and I began to feel hot and sweaty, a good sign that the acid might be losing its power in our bodies.

At 7:00, D offered to drive us someplace else since she had her car parked not far away. The car ride was much needed as a change of pace and general resting for S and I. D drove us to a field outside of our town that had cows freely grazing in it. I realized the normalcy of us driving like that, since D always drives places while I ride in the passenger. But the normalcy of it was overshadowed with the intense feeling of D being a complete stranger. I could sense something was weird about either her aura or mine; obviously looking back it was my drug-induced mind feeling that. We parked a little ways up the road and walked to the cows, who happily greeted us thinking we came bearing food. Looking into their eyes, I wondered if the cows could even process emotions like us. The filth caked on the cows was a strange sight to see, since I immediately pondered what it would be like if humans and I defecated freely, didn't wear clothes, and only got excited if we were being fed. No one can really remember what it was like to be a baby and not be embarrassed to poop freely. We decided to leave the cows after much talking and feeding of them.

Our troupe headed back to S's place, stopping at a convenience store for drinks and snacks. I wasn’t necessarily hungry or thirsty, I just wanted to feel the sensations in my mouth and see if I could deal with being back in public. The trip inside seemed obvious, like everyone in the store could tell 2/3 of our party was tripping hard. The frozen drink I got was beautiful in its own way, since it was composed of delicate little ice pieces that I could definitely feel individually melting on my dry tongue. I didn't like my interaction with the cash register girl and was shocked that society has not switched over to totally automating everything. I thought of how novel it would be to walk into a convenience store and just ring yourself up and leave. We managed to buy everything we needed and left, getting safely back to our car vessel. The thrill of lying down in the back seat kept me entertained until arriving at S's humble abode.

Walking inside S's apartment, my mind started playing tricks again. I smelled the cows, even though we were nowhere near them again. It was very clean and cold in S's apartment and a nice familiar place I had been before. To regain more normalcies, the three of us decided to smoke a little green. Although lighting a bowl and passing it was very much a routine to us, it seemed very difficult to keep it going while we chatted. I didn't think I could feel any effects of the weed on my trip and attempted to clarify with D how stoned she was feeling. By this point I was again comfortable with her and tried to freely talk about the day's events. My biggest fear in divulging any information with her was the chance of sounding stereotypical. By this I mean sounding like just any other report she had read on acid trips, not original. Even though I know most acid trips contain the same characteristics, I felt generally quite elite about my experience and pushed away any attitude she had that her trips were anything like this one. I couldn't help but feel annoyed with her for trying to compare her past bunk trips to mine. I wanted her as well as people in the future to know that what I was experiencing seemed to only be expressed using words I had read before such as 'glowing experience' and 'tracers'. I was growing sick with trying to convey any ounce of originality in my thoughts. At 8:30 I stepped outside onto his porch to try and think some things through and get away from the videos being watched on YouTube by D and S. I started to reflect on what I truly wanted to do with my life. I thought back to how much the past is gone for good now and that we as humans need constant proof that it really happened through documents and videos. My college education is only proved through documents. Then thinking to the future, which only comes in small installments of the present day, meaning I had no real concept of personal growth. I began to get really pissed at myself for not doing anything worthy of saying at my funeral. I pushed those thoughts aside to settle in on the positive thoughts of present goals. I tried to think of what my point of being was at this moment in life and came up with the overwhelmingly happy thought of just finishing school and staying alive. That was a shining moment where I felt clear-headed and ready to rejoin my friends.

Back inside the apartment, we came to the solution that D and I would go our separate way and leave S to his computer programming. D and I drove over to our other friends' apartment for more smoking and chilling. The stimuli were a little overwhelming and being around I and J was not very pleasant. I had a hard time telling what my mind would actually like to do, so I decided to stick it out and smoke more with them until D wanted to leave. I was under the impression weed would have little effect on me since the acid was still in control, so I continuously hit a massive bong for a few rounds with the rest of the group. That's when things began spiraling ridiculously out of control. I would begin to speak and end the sentence, but split seconds later have no idea what I had just said. My sentences were more of a world salad with little sense being made from it. D was getting concerned by what I was babbling, like 'I have to stop pushing out because the mist comes out the sides.' I had no recollection of saying some of the things she said I said, only random fits of hysterical maniacal laughter where I would bury my face in I and J's couch. I do recall a ridiculous conversation with D where we used analogies about belts and shirts to explain relationships with various friends. I was so intent on being committed to the conversation that I hardly realized we were about ready to go to a party with J and I. D started picking up random people and dropping them off at the party, while we waited on alcohol to be picked up. I was babbling nonsense again in the passenger seat, trying to not make a fool out of myself in front of anyone in her backseat. A black cat crossed in front of our car at some point in the drive, to which I swore it off and promised D her penny (side up) would cancel that out.

We finally rolled up to the party at around midnight. I was so disoriented and confused at how the situation would go, being on acid, really high, and about to consume alcohol. I had been outside most of the day in the woods, was sweaty and not properly dressed for such a party. I felt ugly and really uncomfortable. Soon after getting there I begged D to take me home because things were turning strange again. As I talked to her outside with a group of acquaintances, I glanced across the street and saw her standing by the stop sign with her back to us. I kept looking back and forth between the two Ds and got extremely confused and upset as to why my mind was doing this. To make matters worse, people around me who knew I was on acid kept trying to help me 'trip harder' by getting in my face and making strange noises. I wanted to cry or just pass out. By the time we left at 1:00am I felt extremely embarrassed by my presence in a party like that. Although I was extremely incoherent, I still managed to give D directions home with ease. Upon arriving home, I showered and ate some food. After collapsing in my bed, I could feel the extreme tenseness of my calves and tried to massage the pain away. I grabbed pens and jabbed them into the tight muscles to try and alleviate the pain to no avail. I gave up and hoped sleep would consume me as it so easily does on mushrooms and even ecstasy. The last memory of the night was a crazy closed eye visual of pride rock from The Lion King and oranges in the sky. I woke up the next day sore, wiser, and with a better understanding of too many things. The feeling I could not shake was the lack of desire to do drugs for awhile.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 86291

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Jan 5, 2014	Views: 16,916

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LSD (2), Cannabis (1), Alcohol (61) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Nature / Outdoors (23), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)


		 DOSE:

		 300 mg
		 oral
		 Moclobemide
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   64 kg

This is a summary of my experiences Using Moclobemide and Recreational Drugs.

The conditions I have are Bi-polar disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD). I also have a heart condition SVT. I have been on Moclobemide for over 10 years, prescribed by my psychiatrist for my Bi-polar disorder. My dose is 300mg x 4 per day. I am also prescribed 2 x 200mg of Lamotrigine daily, as a mood stabiliser. It is an anti-convulsant, but is also used as a mood stabiliser. Thought I'd share some info about my experiences using Moclobemide and recreational drugs.

A little info about Moclobemide. It is a Reversible Inhibitor of Monoamine Oxidase A (RIMA). RIMA's are a type of Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor (MAOI) which is an anti-depressant. Moclobemide is sold under names including Amira, Aurorix and Clobemix.

Compared to traditional MAOI's, the advantages of Moclobemide are: it has no dietary restrictions, fewer side effects, has less drug interactions and much shorter half-life. In fact the half-life is so short that if changing to another type of anti-depressant you only need a day or two before switching. I chose Moclobemide as my anti-depressant because SSRIs and SNRIs pretty much stopped MDMA working at all. Couldn't have that!

I wasn't as knowledgeable about drugs when I started using Moclobemide as I now am, if I had been more educated at the time I probably wouldn't have taken the drugs listed below with Moclobemide, and I know I wouldn't be as casual about taking any recreational drugs with a traditional MAOI opposed to a RIMA.

Recreational drugs I have used while taking 1200mg a day of Moclobemide (dose taken at 600mg twice a day) are - amphetamines/speed, Ice (meth), MDMA, LSD, 2CB, 25i-NBOME (N-BOMB), marijuana as well as alcohol I think that at least some are pretty much contraindicated. I never have a 'washout period', I take my usual dose of Moclobemide while using all of them.

Speed - I have used speed for 20 years, without any addiction problems at all. In fact I hold down a very responsible job in the IT department in one of Australia' biggest banks, and have done so for 15 years. While doing 12 hour rotating shifts in a 24 x 7 x 365 environment. I never, ever, use it at work, even though staying awake until 8AM and driving home in heavy traffic can be hard at times.

I genuinely use it for therapeutic reasons. It is the ONLY thing that allows me to escape my APD for a day, maybe two. If anything I would say that Moclobemide potentiates the effect of speed. I'm not looking to get high, just enough for me to feel 'normal'. I generally take about 0.1 gm (a point) orally of speed, maybe once every two to three weeks. The speed is high quality, purchased from SR. Very rarely my heart condition does kick off when using it, but no worse than when not using. Never had any issues really.

I have used much larger doses when using it at dance parties, and in combination with MDMA. Still no problems at all.

Marijuana - Again I use dope for therapeutic reasons, not saying I don't enjoy it though. I have terrible dreams and dope is one of the few things that stop them. As opposed to anti-psychotics it's much the lesser evil. I used to used about 2gm a day. Now I only use (vaporise) 0.25 to 0.50 gm before bed. I have even got to the point that I don't really want it, but after one night without it, I wake up either terrified, angry and aggressive and sometimes even a little violent, as in waking up punching a pillow. I'm a very passive person by nature.

I have never had any problems what so ever combining marijuana and Moclobemide.

ICE/Methamphetamine - which I smoked. No interaction. I haven't used Ice without being on Moclobemide at the same time. But if anything I would say I got less out of it than my friends. But that is probably the reverse of what would be expected, I'd have thought Moclobemide would increase the effects.

MDMA - never any issue when combining the two. But I think I have had very slight symptoms of serotonin syndrome when coming down. I had mild uncontrollable twitching, agitation, increased pulse rate and increased body temperature, I also remember being really tense around the neck and shoulders. Serotonin syndrome is a possible outcome when combining MDMA with any anti-depressant. It can be a very serious condition. But I am on a large dose of Moclobemide and that only happened once to me and only very slightly. Put it this way it doesn't stop me using MDMA.

I have had maybe 0.2 gm of MDMA powder over a night. I have until recently usually used pills. (Thank god for SR). I have had many various pills over the years, and who knows what was in them? Plenty of MDMA, but with almost all pills plenty of other stuff mixed in too. Don't think I ever had more than 2 or 3 pills in one night, don't see the point. But I never had any issues with mixing anything so far with Moclobemide. I also often use more than one drug at once: Speed/MDMA/Marijuana.

LSD - I would have to say that for me LSD is less effective than normal. It takes me twice as much as friends use to get less effect. But no problems when used with Moclobemide apart from that.

2CB - I have taken this only twice, and always when being on Moclobemide. So a bit hard to say if the effects of 2CB are altered by Moclobemide. But I can say that I was tripping my tits off. And again no adverse reactions.

25I-NBOMe (N-BOMB) - haven't used N-BOMB without being on Moclobemide. But I seem to need a little more than everybody else. But when it does kick in, it was good. No problems combining Moclobemide with N-BOMB for me.

Alcohol - I have really gone off booze the past year. But when I do drink I have a high tolerance and always have had. When I was manic I was going through 24 cans of beer a day for 30 days strait. So I can definitely say that I have no issues drinking while using Moclobemide.

Caffeine -  The only thing I have ever had any real problem with is energy drinks. I had to call an ambulance and go to the emergency room within a year of each other with heart issues. It wasn't my heart condition, this was different. Both occasions I'd been using various drugs, and drinking, all pretty much in moderation, and different drug combos both times. The one common factor I'm sure caused issues with my heart both times was energy drinks. The only time I ever drank them was when I was using speed with or without other drugs as well. Thought I was having a heart attack, both times was told there was nothing wrong with my blood pressure or pulse, ECG showed nothing unusual.

The above is only my personal experience, do not take the above as a green light to mix Moclobemide with the anything else. Reactions of the same drug(s) in different people can vary widely. I strongly urge you to do a little research before combining Moclobemide with any recreational drug. Especially if using any other psychoactive medication along with Moclobemide.

To sum up, Moclobemide has been a relatively safe drug for me, with few side-effects. It's been safe with all drugs I have mixed with it. BUT I do now have a physical addiction. I don't crave it or even need it mentally, however I now get 'brain zaps' which extend to my whole body when I haven't taken any for 16-18 hours. It is very unpleasant. But I have been on a dose twice the recommended maximum for years. I think this might not occur if taking a smaller dose for a shorter period, but that's just a guess. Many anti-depressants have this 'brain zap' effect when stopping using them for some people.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103010

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 43

Published: Mar 29, 2014	Views: 26,921

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Moclobemide (75), MDMA (3), Amphetamines (6), Methamphetamine (37), 25I-NBOMe (542), Cannabis (1), LSD (2), 2C-B (52) : Various (28), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 LSD

From the Purdue Archives: http://earchives.lib.purdue.edu/

[Appears to have been typed on a typewriter.]

Walter Pahnke (March 31, 1964) : FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF FIRST LSD EXPERIENCE of March 30, 1964

The most impressive and intense part of this experience was the WHITE LIGHT of absolute purity and cleanness. It was like a glowing and sparkling flame of incandescent whiteness and beauty, but not really a flame--more like a gleaming white hot ingot, yet much bigger and vaster than a mere ingot. The associated feelings were those of aboslute AWE, REVERENCE, and SACREDNESS. Just before this experience I had the feeling of going deep within myself to the Self stripped bare of all pretense and falseness. This was the point where a man could stand firm with absolute integrity--something more important than mere physical life. The white light experience was of supreme importance--absolutely self validating and something worth staking your life on and putting your trust in. The white light itself was so penetrating and intense that it was not possible to look directly at it. It was not in the room with me, but we were both somewhere else--and my body was left behind.

Later, I again went deep within myself, and I had the image of going down deep into a dark, silent pool. Then I had a vision of absolute DIVINE love. It was like a flowing spring of silvery white liquid overflowing upward and was very beautiful to watch and feel. The feeling was of love and compassion toward the Divine and toward all men. I had the insight that all men had this same potential and worth within themselves. All men were equal in the sight of God and to my own feelings at this moment. I realized how I had not taken this enough into account in my past actions.

Exp Year: 1964	ExpID: 103042

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 33

Published: Apr 3, 2014	Views: 46,464

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LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)