		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 8:00
		 2 hits
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   200 lb

WARNING: This is VERY long. But hopefully worth your while!

On August 30th 2009 I had the trip of a lifetime. I’ll start from the beginning…

Also, this is a pretty long story I realize, so I hope you’ll bear with me. I think anybody may find it interesting and hopefully valuable. Especially if you have had a very significant experience with LSD or other psychedelics.

It was a Sunday evening, around 5pm when I was with my friend and his girlfriend who I have, in the past, experimented with psychedelics with. We were at the park, and I told them that tonight I was going to do the LSD that I had purchased about a week ago from a friend. This was a week before I would fly out to spend a year studying abroad in Germany. It was about 5pm and I took 1 and a half of the blotter sheets. I look back now, and wish I had known more about the source of LSD, because I am not sure what was with this LSD, all I know is that two of my other friends had done sheets from this same batch and had had terrible, yet enlightening trips. So I took the 1.5 sheets and I told them I wanted to go back to the girl’s house and watch a movie to start it all off right. We sat around in my friend’s girlfriend’s room, talking, not feeling the high yet, I decided to go ahead and ingest the other 1.5 sheets. So that is 3 blotter sheets.

Me, being a daring but foolish lad, suggested we watch The Ring, as I thought this would be cool and scary, but hopefully not scary enough to give me really bad vibes. During the first scene of the film, two girls are talking and one of them looks scary. Well my mind started wondering, I could tell I was starting to enter that sort of dream-like state, and immediately I started fantasizing about the Ring Girl actually coming out of the TV like she does in the movie. Logic told me otherwise, but this certainly put a damper on my mood. The girl, who looked a little bit scary in the movie in the first scene, suddenly became extremely frightening to me and I looked at my friends and begged for them to turn the film off. They of course, complied, being good friends.

At this point I was certainly feeling euphoric and ready for a long night. I decided I wanted to get back into the swing of things, make my setting better, and put on the Pokemon first season DVD. I knew this would be harmless and fun, hopefully bringing back up my mood. The cartoon was blurry and strange, certainly nothing like what I had ever seen before. I could distinctly tell the flaws in the animation, and still felt anxious during the entire viewing.

I really will not be able to do much documenting of time, as this was over a year and a half ago, and time was distorted pretty righteously during this entire trip. It was after the episode, so it was probably about two hours since I took the first hit and a half. We were sitting in the room, and suddenly I felt like my friends were conspiring against me. They left the room and came back, and every time they laughed or said anything, I was sure it was directed towards me. I felt that I was the center of attention, and of course they (from my sober minds memory) were alarmed by my apparent anxiety and delirium. I didn’t mention it, but I didn’t feel too comfortable around them. So I suggested we go back to the park. They agreed, so we did.

We went back to the same park from earlier. At this point I wasn’t feeling too bad, as I was walking through the park I had a keen awareness of everything around me and took a walk alone. The grass was blowing in the wind, it was very whimsical. I felt like I was in a fantasy world, everything seemed so magical. I have no idea how long we were there, as this is the most distorted part of the night, but at some point we got in my friend’s car and left. I don’t think we were there for more than an hour.

As we were driving around the city, my friends were trying to think of somewhere to go, as they too had technically committed (selfish of me) to ‘entertaining’ me for the night. As we were driving I started to go into full blown panic attack mode. Chest tightness, fear, anxiety, racing mind, everything. I was immensely uncomfortable, sweaty, but I wasn’t too alarmed, yet. I had done ecstasy before and felt like this, so I figured it was just a small thing that would pass in time. As we were driving, I felt as if the car was a chariot of fire racing across the town. Every swerve, change of lane, speed up or slow down, I felt like I was on an amusement park ride. If I was nauseas, I don’t recall, but I certainly felt like I should have been.

Around, what I’d guess was ten o clock we got a phone call from a friend of mine who is pretty well versed in the world of psychedelics. I knew I could talk to him, and my friends knew I was feeling pretty bad and that I was not having a very positive trip. We picked up my friend from his girlfriends house, and now it was the four of us. He got in, and the first thing I told him was ‘Dude, I am having a crazy trip man. I’m on LSD.’ He laughed and started talking about how I should be approaching it and then went on to talk about what he had been doing that night. Of course my selfishness came out, and I was a bit annoyed that he wasn’t focused on me, and my trip. I then told him I was having a really bad trip, and that I had some bad anxiety. So he tried to coach me a bit, give some words of advice; Nothing I hadn’t heard before, nothing that seemed to help, at least not in that mind state.

We went to a gas station, and as he lost his driver’s license he couldn’t purchase cigarettes. So my friend asked me if I would purchase them. I told him there is no way in bloody hell I was going to go in some lit up gas station and try and do any exchange with money. He asked me, and through my realizing earlier that I was being self centered, I decided a good deed would be good for my vibes, so I agreed. He handed me cash, I went in, and of course had an extremely difficult time ordering cigarettes from the man behind the counter. Everything was extremely bright, and the man seemed to only have foul intentions. I handed him the crumpled, sweaty money, took the change, and booked it out of there.

I gave my friend the cigarettes and he was very thankful, making me feel good. We got back in the car, I’d say it was around 11 getting near midnight. We may have made a stop at a store, but unfortunately once again, this was a very cartoonish and surreal part of my night where little is recalled in its entirety. As we were driving, my friend had to drive his girlfriend home. She was on the phone with her mother and I was in the back muttering and probably being somewhat hysterical. She told her mom ‘everything is alright...’ ‘No, he’s fine’ and a few other things that made me sure that her mother had heard me and probably knew I was on some sort of drug. This terrified me, and made me think the attention was all on me again, my worst fear. I ask her to this day, and she still tells me that her mother was not talking about me. I was sure she was, even in my sober recollection.

Anyways, we drop her off and I am full on panicking. No memory really of this, but I do remember being fidgety and not comfortable in the car whatsoever. So at this point it is me and my two friends, and the ‘psychedelic guru’ friend wanted to go ahead and go back to his place. I don’t know what it was, but I had a small wave of comfort. Perhaps it was the light mood and banter the three of us were having in the car. It was an actually fairly long to drive to the other friends house on the freeway, so we had time to ‘bond’. On the freeway there was construction that held us up, to the point that it looked like we would have to get off the freeway. This brought out the panic again, as I was sure it was a universal supernatural happening (which would be a theme for the rest of the night) and I was doomed. We drove through the construction though and everything was fine. There were some strange lights on the construction vehicles, and I joked that they looked like space ships (milking the fact that I was on drugs) and my friend joked that he saw little aliens running around in the fields. So of course I looked, knowing that it was a joke and they were trying to mess with me. No, I didn’t see aliens, but once again the grass looked whimsical on the side of the freeway and I got another small surge of peace.

When we got to my friend’s house, he suggested we stay for a while. This was the last thing I wanted to do, as I wanted peace, and his place was always a party haven. I told my other friend (who I started the night with) that this was the last thing I wanted to do, over and over. He of course tried to calm me and promise we wouldn’t stay long. I remember just dreading going in that house, because that was a place I associated with this sort of psychedelics adventure, and at this point, I wanted nothing else than to be sober and not tripping, as I now associated tripping with negative things (and unfortunately still do to this day…we’ll get into that soon).

We went into the house, and there were a few other guys. My friend told them I was having a bad trip, and they laughed, though probably not actually at me, I just thought they were. We sat around, they were drinking, I was extremely uncomfortable, and they actually kept asking me if I was ok, over and over. So I clearly was showing something. I thought I had been hiding it well though… They then suggested I smoke some pot. I said no, but my friend who seems to know his stuff kept insisting so finally I did. I took, maybe two hits from a pipe.

We sat around for a while longer, and then the bad vibes really hit me when one of the guys told me a story of what happened to another friend this same night! Another guy who I had taken shrooms with earlier that summer and who was truly a guru of psychedelics had decided to go on a ‘vision quest’. He didn’t eat sleep or drink for three days straight. Well apparently that night, he had completely been out of character when he came over, then left and attacked a random guy off of the street for complimenting his dreads. He was arrested and put in a psych ward and they said he was suicidal and psychotic. He was later released, I think the next day. But this was NOT something you tell somebody in the midst of a bad trip. I lost it. I knew that would be me, it was the same night, too much of a coincidence. This guy was somebody I admired in the world of psychedelics, I felt really bonded to him when we did shrooms together, and this news completely put me in what would be the worst trip of my life.

We left, my friend and I, and it was about 2 am I believe. He needed to get rest, but I needed him, I was completely out of my mind I felt, and panicking and feeling that I was either going to go crazy or some other supernatural cosmic experience was going to happen. I did have the intuition to tell that it was time to let him go home and go to bed though, but I certainly was not going to go home myself (I lived with my parents at the time). So I called my ex girlfriend who is actually my best friend and was still at the time. Although we were having a bit of a rough time and I believe she may have been hooking up with a guy I was not too fond of at the time. I was jealous. (This is applicable, I think, to what will be my later twisted perceptions of her. I am not just confessing my boring social life here!) Also, she was actually one of the people who did this LSD and had a pretty crazy trip where I was the one who kind of coached her through it.

My friend drops me off, concerned, but more exhausted then anything. It was time I let him go, he had done enough. I called her while he was driving basically crying telling her I was having a horrible trip and I NEEDED her. When we arrived, she came outside, and all we did was embrace. It was nice, and I felt still attracted to her, and naturally started to feel a bit sexually charged during the embrace. This feeling suddenly became something I was ashamed of, and that I thought was ‘wrong’. I have a Christian background that I won’t go into, but those sort of thoughts are unfortunately etched into my person.

We went inside, and it was about 2:30 AM, I think. I sat down and really didn’t say much, besides that I was having a bad trip and I was panicky about everything. I then tried to give her concrete examples about WHY I was having a bad trip, but couldn’t, and she was skeptical. The fact that she thought I was just being dramatic drained more hope from me. I tried to tell her the story about my friend going to the mental hospital, but I just wasn’t coherent enough to explain why this was even pertinent to my own situation.

She offered me some oatmeal, and I agreed. She sat down and I ate the Oatmeal. It was just making me nauseas, I didn’t want food. She sat across from me, and visuals now came back to my trip. Almost 10 hours later, my trip seemed to come on stronger than ever before. I looked at her, and could see very twitch, every movement as being exaggerated and … well…disgusting almost. She scratched her eye, and it looked like she was trying to peal her eyeball out of it’s socket. She sneezed, and it seemed like a long winded cackle. And I still do not understand how I looked at the clock and it wasn’t working, then it was working a bit later. I even asked her, and she gave some rational explanation as to why it wasn’t working, then was later on.

I then noticed that she had some red chopsticks next to her, a red shirt, the lights all looked red, and then I saw her earrings which were almost…demon-like. I started fantasizing her as a demon. She seemed to be conspiring against me. I got up and went to the bathroom, the poor girl was helpless. Well, I was, but she felt bad and seemed very distressed for not being able to help me. As I was urinating, she started singing. This freaked me out, but it wasn’t a big deal. Later on, I went in to pee again, and she started singing again. My mind processed this as happening every time I started urinating, and I wanted to think of this as some sort of supernatural occurrence, or a demonic witch song of some kind.

I have no idea how long I was there, but after a while I was really making her tired and frankly, scared of me. This is why she tells me she was singing, it made her feel comfortable when she was half waiting for me to become psychotic and do something drastic. I couldn’t find my phone. Of course, this was a security device, so I started to panic even more. So she led me around to look for it. We entered her bedroom, and she was looking all over for it. This is where things get even weirder. She got in her bed and moved blankets around looking for it. I hadn’t remembered even going in her room, why would my phone be in there? I then knew she was trying to get me in her bed, to have sex with me.

I immediately hit what I would call the pinnacle of the trip, when I vividly imagined us making love, and as soon as I penetrated her, I would reach a sort of enlightenment, it would be so pure and so beautiful. But then, it could also be ‘Sin’ and I would become a patron of this demon. Or that I would lose my ‘self’, ego death? I then saw this all as being two roads in front of me. Two choices, which would become another theme. She continued to search for the phone, and I started being mean to her; I chose. I would not have sex with her (like she would have!) and instead I’d be on my own. She kept asking if I wanted her to take me home, and finally after lots of quarreling, I agreed. I knew this would be a solo mission from here on out.

As we were driving, her car broke down. I knew this to be another supernatural occurrence, and I still can’t explain the coincidence of it. Her car started up again and we made it to my house. I sat in the car with her, and apologized. But as she started her car again, it wouldn’t start. She was out of gas. She kept revving the engine and trying to get it to go. My mind told me she was trying to wake my parents, to get me in trouble. This was the two paths, either A. go back with her and be in a hellish type of world, or B. get in trouble by my parents, live the traditional Christian life, but be punished for what I was messing with. She called her father to come bring her gas, and asked if I would wait outside with her. I then fantasized that if I chose that, I’d be with her, and once again, be demonic, or I could leave her, and get in trouble. With how I was perceiving things, it all seemed to go back and forth between these two choices. Almost as if this was all a dance, choreographed.

Well, I went inside my house, and just went straight to my room after getting some water. We texted, I apologized, probably saying all sorts of crazy shit, then finally her father came and eventually she got off. While inside, my mind created these two scenarios and added even more detail. I could go out there, die, burn in hell, live in pleasure; or I could stay inside and be a Christian drone and be holy or whatever. Then a third choice popped up, if I went to bed, I’d die, and my death would be a zombie like death, where there would be nothing else, no after life or nirvana or anything.

I went into the bathroom, and wet my face and hair. I had a huge beard at the time, and long hair. As I washed, I looked into the mirror and saw myself as a Jesus-like figure. I knew I must shower. As I turned on the shower it was cold, then I turned it off. It also smelt like bleach. I kept repeating this process. So I then came to the conclusion that it was God telling me I must be punished and be baptized in cold, bleached water. Well, if I did that, I’d be committing. Now in my sober mind I assume my father bleached the shower, which he does often, and I didn’t ever give the chance for the water to warm! Ha! Self destructive mind. So I waited, went back into my room and opened up the bible. Before I did though, the fan next to my bed blew it to a page, and this is what I came to: Luke 11:14-28

14 Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon left, the man who had been mute spoke, and the crowd was amazed. 15 But some of them said, “By Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he is driving out demons.” 16 Others tested him by asking for a sign from heaven.

17 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. 18 If Satan is divided against himself, how can his kingdom stand? I say this because you claim that I drive out demons by Beelzebul. 19 Now if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your followers drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. 20 But if I drive out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.

21 “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. 22 But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder.

23 “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

24 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”

27 As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.”

28 He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

So at this point I figured God was totally speaking to me in this trip and was here with me. Although I felt a sense of comfort, it was all still too alarming. It was nice to know that there IS a God, but I still felt conflicted at my ‘three’ choices that I had to deal with. I could go to sleep (like any sane man would at what was now 5 in the morning), I could go take the shower, or I could go back outside to where my ex was still waiting for her father.

However, I didn’t choose. I listened to some music that I love, I was hoping that would calm me. At this point, it was odd, I felt that the wild trip was over, but I still felt out of touch with everything, and I still was in this ‘Psychotic state’, if you will. This was 12 hours after the initial taking of the drug! Well I listened to some Animal Collective and then Enya for another few hours, sitting in my bed, moving around restlessly, tripping still. The music was insane, I could pick out every detail, every single ‘imperfection’.

At around 7 am there was movement outside my room. Everyone in my family was getting ready for school and work. I then decided to go sleep in my brother’s room which used to be mine before I started college, now I was sleeping on a cot in an office. I went and got in my old bed, where the vibes were better and I had my computer. My computer would allow me then to RESEARCH. Immediately at around 8 AM I got onto the computer and looked at various websites, doing google searches trying to figure out how I was still tripping. I figured I’d be like this forever. As I was doing searches I kept coming across Christian spiritual websites, once again reaffirming my notion that this has all been an act of God or something else.

At around noon, things were more clear. Don’t get me wrong though, I am still tripping. Still having slight visuals too if I stare at the wall for a while, things would move. I decided it was a nice day, and with my step mother vacuuming for what my mind was telling me for hours (although every time I went and peeked our my door, she wasn’t, I just heard it. Auditory hallucinations?) I decided I’d go for a walk. Outside I experienced the morning glow. Everything was fantastic, and I started to feel a bit reenergized. Almost positive. Although still a bit shocked and unsure about all that I had experienced. I walked for an hour, and then returned home. Messaged my ex online and told her everything, and she thought I was delusional or being dramatic. But I still felt like I was tripping, even at around 2 o clock. That would be about 21 hours later from initial consumption of dose. Impossible? It certainly is hard to find other cases, I sure couldn’t. But I was certainly still feeling very high, and still in the same mode of thought.

I tried so hard to sleep. That is part of the reason I am sure my trip continued so long. I lay in bed, and then at about 3:45 my father bursts into my room and reminds me I have a doctor’s appointment that I had forgotten about at 4. At this point nothing could alarm me, surprise me, or scare me anymore. So he let me borrow his car (Ha!) and I drove to the doctor’s office.  [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]   Still feeling very uneasy and high, I made it, and once in the office anxiety set in again. I was there regarding some anxiety issues I had been having (at the time I thought they were purely physiological, but they stemmed from what I later would find out to be an anxiety ‘disorder’). I got into his office, and the doctor talked and talked about the same thing. This was the acid, in FULL EFFECT. He mumbled on about me ‘having a good head on my shoulders’ and so on and so forth. But I had no idea what he was saying really, and he kept dragging on and on and I wanted to get out of there! Finally he finished and let me go when I was practically on my feet, still having small visual sensations as well.

As I started my father’s car, I looked at the gas tank and it said empty. I then felt that this was it, I would go wonder off away from the car and become a street urchin and have no sense of self and be like the men and women who wander the streets muttering to themselves about aliens and past lives and what not. But I was stubborn. I called my father and told him the gas light was on and it was empty, and he was confused because he said he gave me almost a full tank. Well, sure enough, I started the car, looked at the gas light, and it was near full. How do you explain that?

I got home after having a run in with a guy who dated my sister on the street; I was sure he was tailing me in his car and wanted to kill me. But logic did try and work and tell me otherwise. I got home, nearly crumbling to my father and telling him I was on lsd and I needed him to go ahead and drive me to the hospital. It was 24 hours later and I was still in hysterics, still tripping. I knew I’d be like this forever until it all just faded into me not knowing who or what I am anymore. I got online again and talked to my ex again and my first friend from the evening and they both still acted as if I was being dramatic. But I then asked the first friend to drive me to the hospital, deadly serious, and he almost did. Till my ex messaged me with some information about temporary psychoses after using LSD, so I was somewhat comforted and for some reason went and got in bed. I did so, tried to fall asleep, and around 6 pm I fell asleep.

I tripped, hard, for 24+ hours on LSD. And it changed my life.

That night, I was woken up for dinner, declined, and felt anew. I actually felt myself again. I called a friend and told him I needed to be out and get some fresh air. Him and some friends came and got me, and I had my first cigarette that night (ha! I was always opposed to smoke tobacco, while trying every other substance under the sun, even chewing tobacco.) We drove around, I lightly mentioned I had an intense lsd trip that night and I just needed a relaxing evening.

Well, about two nights before I left for Germany, I couldn’t sleep, I felt weird. Very weird. Something was off, and I was having intense anxiety. When I got to Germany, and for my entire stay for almost a year, I spent almost every evening having panic attacks, flashbacks to my trip, and anxiety 24/7. I came home for Christmas and was prescribed Prozac and Xanax. I took those for the rest of my stay and just this last August of 2010 I changed to Zoloft. I quit that, as I have been feeling somewhat better, and more in tune. Accepting that maybe there are unexplainable things in our universe, and that I don’t need all the answers. Did I experience supernatural occurrences? Was it an act of God? Was I temporarily psychotic and underlying psychological conditions were uprooted? I don’t know.

Thanks for reading. There is so much more I could share, so many psychological and spiritual experiences I have had since the trip, but I won’t hold you any longer. If you have any insights or anything, please feel free to share.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88866

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Mar 11, 2011	Views: 23,411

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Post Trip Problems (8), Multi-Day Experience (13), Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   66 kg

Background:

I'm a 19 year old university student in North America. I consider myself moderately experienced with psychoactives, with a handful of adventures with mushrooms, LSA, and LSD under my belt. I've had dosages of up to 4 grams, 10 grams, and 2 hits respectively. I've also dabbled in other psychs such as 4-AcO-DMT and diphenhydramine, not that I can recommend the latter to anyone. I'm not on any medication currently and consider myself an introverted but open person. This trip took place on the weekend before my final exams, on a cold but pleasant winter night.

I went into this trip having no obligations or worries to deal with. My reason for choosing one hit of LSD instead of doing the typical increase in dosage was based on all my previous trip experiences combined. For me, the best part of tripping lies in the wonderful emotions I find myself subject to, not the visuals. I was curious to see if I could elicit these same feelings from one hit, saving money and hopefully allowing for an easier integration of highly social environments. Living in a dormitory is not the same as being alone on a mountain.

Takeoff: 6:10pm

I eat one geltab of LSD from a trusted source who I have had prior transactions with.  The only food in my stomach at the time was a moderate lunch of pasta and cottage cheese @ 2:45. I put on the album Come With Us by The Chemical Brothers while I took hits of some cannabis out of a vaporizer, preparing for the coming novelties. I started off in my dorm room, with the lights dimmed as I read and waited out the come-up.

About thirty minutes after eating the acid I noticed some time dilation, and light feelings of anxiety started to come out. I had always tripped with a partner in the past and I was excited at the possibilities that were in front of me, though this also made me nervous. After reminding myself about how I was only going to be on a light trip this particular evening, I was calmer and “ready” to begin.

T+ 1:00

About an hour after I had dosed, I decided to take a lengthy walk. As I got dressed for the cold weather outside, the wood grain on my closet door began to dance about.  Wood grain is a foolproof illusion-initiator and it made me glad for the familiar sight.  Exiting the building, I ran into a friend of mine who commented on the grin I was wearing and wished me a good trip. I tried to think of where I should go, and remembering a great bike-path route that followed alongside a highway before curving back towards campus,  coming to the conclusion that there would be no better peak to my trip than by myself in nature. While on my walk, I became very appreciative of the increased sensitivity to light that I was receiving. The way shadows and beams emitted from streetlights play with each other when under the influence of psychs has always been one of my favorite little marvels, and during the nighttime in winter the refractions of light hitting falling snowflakes and ice on the ground is even more pleasing. The clear night sky gave a wonderful display of constellations that shimmered on a backdrop of blacks and blues.

As I made my way parallel to the highway, memories of taking walks through forested evenings with my family as a youngster came back to me. It's true, I realized, that the things I enjoyed most sober were the things I enjoyed most when tripping.  At this point in time I was close to the peak of my trip and was taking in all of the stimuli through my heightened sense of vision, but what came to me next was probably the most important thing that the trip brought with it.  I had returned to the feeling of gratitude and wonder that I had gotten a taste of on my last mushroom trip. I reveled in just being able to witness Earth's splendor in its accentuated state that I had chosen to employ for the night. It took me less than two hours to find what I was seeking:  the simple euphoria and joy of being that you don't need a heroic dose to achieve. Ecstatic in my discovery that one hit of acid was providing me with as much happiness as another other psychedelic experience had ever given me, I noticed that the glow of car headlights coming up behind me on the road would pulsate behind me, so that watching the ground around my footsteps was like watching a breathing nebula of white light. I saw a fractal overlay on some runaway clouds that were moving across my path as my walk came to an end.

T + 3:00

Upon returning to my room, I made funny faces at myself in the mirror, something I do on a daily basis just for fun. On acid it's even more fun and I chuckle at my reflection, taking care to recognize the dilated pupils that Hofmann's potion had blessed me with. Focusing on my face and ignoring the rest of what the mirror shows me, my doppleganger suddenly popped out of the mirror and I am literally face-to-face with a 3D replica of myself. I found this especially entertaining.

I come into contact with my friend T over the phone, who wishes to join me for the remainder of my voyage. I assist him in finding some mushrooms and relax with some good friends as he eats ~2g. While we hang out I notice a slight tightness in my chest, but it isn't something I'm unacquainted with and it doesn't bother me.  Approximately :45 after he finishes, our convoy of about six people--all either drunk, high, or tripping—depart to a popular local sledding hill a stone's throw away.  Through this point in time my visuals were quite subdued, although my elated mindstate was just as intoxicating as ever. I did not experience any nystagmus during my trip, but did notice a certain acuity in the dimension of everyday objects that had not been there before. I chalked it up to the notion that LSD was helping me receive reality through a less filtered template than normal and noted it as just another thing to be thankful for.

When sledding, I seemed to have boundless energy surging through my body when faced with the task of climbing the hill for another run. Sledding is a thrill as a kid, one that doesn't go away no matter how old you get. My balance and proprioceptive abilities were not affected as they might have been had I simply been drunk, something else I found reason to be happy about.  The general mood of everyone at the hill was positive and when I wasn't chatting or flying down the slope on my stomach, I took time to watch the horizons sparkle with the various pinpricks of light that came from all the various buildings, lightposts, and cars.

T: +5:40

We make our way back to campus, satisfied with how the brief outing has gone.  I spent some time watching a television program about the planet Earth with my compatriots before remembering that even if I was not feeling hungry at the moment, I would be quite soon.  I say farewell to everyone and head downtown for a sandwich.

T: +7:00

On my walk I notice that the only real effect I had left to be dazzled by was the twinkling of lights that greeted me all the way down Main Street to the Deli.  My mood had stayed constant since the beginning and I discovered myself continuously praising whatever had created this universe in the back of my mind as I picked up my food and returned to campus.  On the way back, everything extra-sensory diminished to levels no longer perceptible.

Retrospection:

This trip, though mild in many ways, gave me a very valuable lesson in tripping. Less is more, especially when you expect to find yourself in a variety of different environments with different people and different expectations for how one is to act.  I came into contact with the Resident Advisors of my building (read: authority figures), sober adults at the sledding hill, and even the public as a whole when I was retrieving my snack during my trip. Being on only one hit made it so that there was no need to transition to 'acting normal.' I was able to integrate into these circumstances seamlessly, something that can't be done on a higher dose.  I am still interested in exploring higher doses of psychoactives, but I'm not seeing as much of a reason to as I had thought there was before. This trip was amazing to me and there was never any regret regarding my dose. It affirmed my love to be alive, which is the most I could ever ask of a trip. My opinion of LSD has gone up. Way up.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 67627

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jul 31, 2011	Views: 15,412

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

Date and Time: It was the weekend of Halloween, and Devil’s Night (the night before Halloween) to be more exact. It was Monday, October 30th, 2006.

Long-term Background: I was attending Bridgewater College for my first semester. It was midway through, and I was absolutely annoyed with life on that campus. I sought a way out of it wherever and whenever I could. Drugs and alcohol become the easiest means of escape, and that is mostly what those chemicals were used for, like one who prays once to some god and expects all of his or her problems to be instantly solved, at least for some time.

I had experimented with various substances up to the point of LSD, including hydrocodone, oxycodone, morphine, zycam, psilocybin mushrooms, marijuana, hashish, xanax, cyclobenzaprine, seroquel (taken ignorantly), and dextrostat. The use of those drugs was spread out over the period of a year. The most recent experience I had prior to my LSD experience was the mushroom experience, which was amazing, and which will be mentioned in another post. I used mushrooms about a month before LSD AT MOST.

My girlfriend’s birthday was to be taking place on Halloween, the day after my LSD experience. She made me paranoid about using because she hated drugs of all kinds, and she hated when I used them in particular. She had threatened to end our relationship prematurely on several occasions when she discovered my mere monthly marijuana use. This may have attributed to the negative after effects of this LSD trip which I am going to discuss. I attained the substance through a guy for a very fair price, and even having the substance on me made me rather paranoid, because I knew if my mother or father or anyone outside my sphere of trust discovered my possession of it, they would destroy it. So, there was a great deal of fear revolving around the substance the entire time I had it, as well as wonder that I even had it in the first place. Attaining it was very easy, and yet finding the time and place to use it was very difficult. I locked it in a safe, and hid the safe in a closet. I could’ve sworn I would return to my dorm room one day to find an officer waiting there to handcuff me and put me away forever.

Short-term Background: I was in Waynesboro, VA, which is where the trip took place. I was alone in my room. My mother and father had drifted off to sleep, and I had the house to myself. Unlike most other experiences, I had no purpose for this trip. I was anxious to experience it, but without a purpose, I feel the resulting lack of focus and chaos attributed to the anxiety I later experienced.

10:00 PM. I put a hit in my mouth. I waited.

10:10 PM. I could not recall how long LSD took to react with the mind, so I put anther hit in my mouth. I was beginning to fear I was sold something inactive.

10:15 PM. Since I had three more hits left, I decided to throw one more in just to seal the deal, and be done. If nothing happened, I thought to myself, nothing happened. If something does happen, it will be very pronounced. I licked some whitish powder which was at the bottom of the bag thinking it was pure LSD. I believe it was actually cocaine, as my tongue went slightly numb. I walked down the hall to the room in which my computer was humming to itself, basically waiting for me to hop onto erowid and look up LSD experiences.

10:30-11:00 PM. I still didn’t feel anything pronounced. I was reading that LSD could take up to an hour and a half to react, so I grew more patient. I started to read people’s reports, some of which were negative, which was probably a bad idea given the circumstances. I began thinking to myself “Well, there is no way back now. I must ride this wave back to the shore.” I printed off a pornographic image to see how LSD effected one’s perceptions of sex and sexuality. After attempting to jack off, I realized how uninteresting the image was, as well as the premise of sex itself. Pornography had always repulsed me unless I was aroused prior to looking at it. I was becoming a bit drowsy. “Hmmm…”, I thought “I should probably leave. I don’t want to wake my parents up if I start making odd noises or knocking things about.”

11:00-11:30 I began my quest walking about Waynesboro. I called my brother and told him of my predicament. He laughed, and said “Well, have fun ____, and don’t laugh too hard!” I felt very childlike, which was nice. I was full of wonder, and could not easily recognize things. I would look at a trashcan and notice the top, which i could set something on, or the sides, which I could use as walls. I did not see it as something to merely put trash in. I walked down a street known as Woodrow, which I thought would be pretty. It was mostly frightening. The shadows seemed to know of my mental state and picked on me by taking the forms of dark, cartoonish monsters. Although the street is named after the president, it could easily be mistaken as being named for the row of trees planted on the sides of the road. The trees themselves were beautiful when I looked up at the sky through they’re branches. Those were my limbs, and I was reaching skyward.

11:30-12:00 I called my roommate. I was very paranoid. It was late, and if any of you are familiar with Waynesboro, there is nothing there to do after around 9 except go to Wal-Mart. Occasionally a car would pass, and occasionally I would hallucinate the sound of a car coming up behind me. There was no one out but me. The entire town was dead, and it felt awful to experience it as such. I was so lonely. I was constantly turning around. I recalled a time 2 years previous in which 5 cop cars in a row traveled down the curvy Wayne Avenue hill during one of my early morning outings. I was not 18 when I had seen those cars, and was subjected to curfew laws if discovered to be a juvenile out after 12. I feared the same thing would happen, and this time they would mistake me for a juvenile only to discover I was 18 (an adult who can be punished as such) AND under the influence of LSD, with two hits remaining on my person. I really did not want any contact with the police at that point. My roommate helped me keep my head.

12:30-1:00- I made it to the post office, and realized how close I was to the police station. The sidewalk tiles began to lift up and spin about under my feet, which obviously made it very difficult to maintain my composure. I believe I did quite well, considering. I took a side road, and walked through some residential neighborhoods, and remarked something like “Man, this whole town is dead. The dreams of these people are only found in sleep! They would be repulsed to know my condition, and yet they will be very intimate with me in the grave! The grave is not something terrible, but a union, a negation of hatred and love which forms neutrality and sameness.” Then I sat down. The sky and the earth became a sphere, the shape all things attempt to maintain. The stars were swarming about in the sky like bees, and I felt as though they were producing the sweet, honey-like sense of well-being I was experiencing.

And then I realized I was lying on someone’s front lawn, became extremely paranoid, and ran down the street. Motion interrupted all of the visuals, I realized. Sitting down was a terrible idea if I didn’t want to look suspicious, because the experience became VERY heavy when I did (the next time I use anything, I will be stationary for the majority of the time, or moving only slightly). I eventually made my way back to the curvy Wayne Avenue hill. Upon passing the YMCA and crossing the bridge, I began to fear I would jump or fall off, so I walked very slowly. I cannot image what I looked like walking about under the influence. My limbs felt absolutely EXHAUSTED. I don’t know whether this is common, but I experienced a similar lethargy with mushrooms (although the mushroom lethargy also granted EXTREME euphoria). This lethargy felt more like my muscles were shaking and losing strength than being actually tired. I was slightly trembling, and sweating a bit. I definitely wanted to sit down. I was more coherent than when I use marijuana, and far more coherent than when I used mushrooms, but I felt as though I was imagining my ability to rationalize and speak, when in reality, I believe I was speaking and thinking like a lunatic. I felt as though I was imagining everything, which was a sentiment which stayed with me for nearly a year. Before making it back to my house, I felt as though a little white man, reminiscent of the little white man with sharp teeth in the album art of Future Sound of London’s “Dead Cities” CD, was right behind me, peering over my shoulder with a smile. I could feel his nails on me, and no matter which direction I turned, he was always behind me. This terrified me, and resulted in another phone call to my roommate.

1:00-2:00 AM: I made it home. I got into my car and became afraid I would try to drive it. I made sure not turn the engine on. I listened to some Smashing Pumpkins and closed my eyes. I was afraid I would hallucinate something hideous outside my car, but I did not. Instead, I saw every word Mr. Corgan sang in the very center of my mind, and expanding out millions upon millions of times, infinitely. The word “car” showed me the image of every car I had ever seen, coupled with every car I could imagine. Of course, I did not see them all, because to see the entirety of the infinite is impossible, but I saw as many as I could see while the words filled my mind. Every word, including words like “and” “that” “lesser” “hi”, had sensory richness associated with them. Eventually, I realized I should call my friend while she was preparing to go on lunch with my best friend (who didn’t have a cell) so that they could pick me up.

2:00-3:00 AM I was picked up by my friends. My best friend (male) drove me and my other friend (female) to his house. When we arrived, he told me not to make any crazy noises. I didn’t. In fact, I communicated very little with them. I mostly had conversations with them in my head, and I could never tell when we were really talking or not (my male friend later told me much of what I thought I talked about with him was never even mentioned). There was a very large knife in his kitchen. In my mind, I asked him “Do you mind if I pick up this Knife?” and he said “No, be my guest”. And I said “Given my current mental state, you do not feel any regret in saying that?” and he said “No, why should I?” and then I said out loud “Because you just sealed your own doom!” and laughed. He said this made him very uncomfortable, and he left the room for a moment. I held the knife. It felt nice to grip in my hand, and I didn’t want to let it go. I felt the power associated with wielding a weapon. I held the knife in front of my face and looked at my friends. It seemed we were in a bad horror movie, and I was the horror. I thought my role to play would be to use the knife on them, but then I realized how bad of an idea that was, and how much I loved them both, and how my mental state did not accommodate friedns and knives equally (try to keep weapons out of the trip). I set the knife down, and went into my best friend’s room, where I proceeded to crawl under the covers and discuss how much it felt as though I was in a cave made of mystical water. I was swimming in his blankets.

After a while, he told me it was time to go. The light in his house demolished my eyes, so I wasn’t too unwilling. I just didn’t want them to leave me alone! I missed them both beyond understanding, and yet they were right there in front of me. I was predicting their departure, and my future loneliness.

3:00-5:30 AM (Trip ended by sleep around 5:30) I made it inside, and walked down the hall to my room. Everything was very large. I crawled into bed and listened to the Smashing Pumpkins some more. Billy was in my bed, naked and singing to me, which was soothing. I felt intimately bound with my mental perception of the man. And then I heard a noise from the intro of one of the songs which made me think of a huge wall of old fat women’s heads, gnawing at their fingers. These heads had black eyes, curlers in their hair, very red lipstick on, and fat faces. They were biting their fingernails, which were also very red, and grunting. They seemed to look through me. I could not tell whether the red was cosmetic or blood. Needless to say, I became paralyzed by fear. Then I changed the song, and my peace returned within 30 seconds. I remembered that I wanted to experience masturbation under the influence, and so I jacked off. It was very difficult to attain an erection, but the orgasm was supreme. I seemed to be stuck in the peak moment of my sexual arousal for about 2 minutes! “WOW”, I frantically texted to my female friend, “Orgasms are AMAZING on this, although it is very difficult to attain one!” (She used my remaining two hits the next day, and said she tried very hard, but could not reach climax, which was a vast disappointment to her, given my reaction to climax under the influence). Falling asleep was difficult. My mental image of myself kept conversing with my actual consciousness. I learned from this that I am a very annoying, inconsiderate person to myself when I am trying to sleep! I was yelling, and telling myself not to fall asleep, because I didn’t want to be bored awake without myself. And then I fell asleep, much to my imagined self's dismay :p.

AFTER EFFECTS: The after effects of this experience, an experience which would otherwise be rated as mediocre and fairly meaningless, are what caused it to be rated as a bad trip. I felt paranoid for a full year about whether or not I was “changed forever.” I eventually realized, a year later, that all the paranoia was nothing more than fantasy, or a theory which, like most philosophic theories, cannot be proved or disproved, only entertained. I decided to stop entertaining the idea of me being somewhat insane, and the effects went away within a month! After all, even if I WAS insane, I was still very happy, and very much able to function in every day situations without difficulty. Oh, and this insecurity manifested primarily at night, or when I was fatigued, so it might just be that my expectation of a permanent change was attributed to something with no relation to LSD, such as mental fatigue, and therefore LSD didn’t change me at all. However, the fact that I was so insecure about my state of consciousness has made me wary of LSD. Using LSD CAN AND WILL make known whatever is in your recent memory and current subconscious, so it is a relatively bad idea to use it without a purpose during a time when life is not very good (as I did), or in a place which is not very suitable (as I did). Having a purpose can make the experience much more rewarding. I will probably use it again at some point, but for now, I’d much rather stick to the psilocybin. So before you experiment, remember how serious a substance LSD is. It gives the mind much power, but that is power which it can use to destroy itself with paranoia or doubt (as I believe it did in my case), or make itself more beautiful. Remember: it really is all in your head...

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 67788

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Nov 26, 2011	Views: 11,864

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Various (28), Sex Discussion (14), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   230 lb

First off, I have had an “interesting” life of self-discovery and self-reflection and I still have a lifetime of years to wise up some more. I have been lucky enough to have grown up in the high rocky mountains of Colorado (there are a lot of cool places, but old CO is beautiful and with a spirit of free thinking). I have also been blessed by being introduced to so many wonderful things; good music, good food, good people, good places, and “good drugs”, not the bad ones; coke, heroin, meth, etc.…….Anyway I have dabbled with psychedelics for a few years now. I have also been using cannabis regularly for several years(who doesn’t).  My first few experiences were with psilocybin mushrooms, they are intriguing earthy shape shifting fun as heck little spores of wonder. I will always have kinship with old psilocybin. The fact that a mushroom with those kinds of psyche changing capabilities can grow out of a pile of shit really changes the phrase “God works in mysterious ways”.

But I am here to explain as best as I can in words (which doesn’t really explain that well as no language can) this amazing LSD journey that I experienced on June 29 2010.

Life comes at you fast and that’s what happened.

It was June 28 2010. My Family and I were on our way to Denver to go see the art rock band TOOL. They were scheduled to play a two day show on the 28/29. This was to be an epic experience no matter what. I don’t want to get to much into it but just to let you know TOOL is one of the greatest things to come from humanity.

Anyways, so we got to Denver checked into the hotel, did the family thing for a while. Around six pm. Drove to the Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Went and watched to concert. They opened with their song “Third Eye” which has Timothy Leary speaking. An amazing experience (only smoked some pot). Except for the fact that I was being a nice guy by being the designated driver, so I could not take anything that night. All of my buddies had taken a bunch of LSD and were having a great time so I was a little bitter at first but then I was ok with that because my favorite band was cool enough to do a double show, and play the next night.

June 29,2010  I had wanted to obtain some LSD but was uncertain if it would happen. We were hanging out when my bro’s friend Brett said he could get some more LSD from someone who was headed over to where we were at. SCORE!!.......I bought 3 hits of LSD for $20. For the rest of the day until the show I was getting so antsy. Same deal at around 6pm we took a taxi (I wasn’t  going to be the DD this time)and headed over to Red Rocks. As soon we got into the venue I went to the bathroom and opened up my sinister little flap of tin foil, pulled out my 3 little squares o’ paper and chomp. HERE WE GO (and what the hell do I mean by “We”, its only me. Or maybe “we” is me as in myself and my body as an external tool.??????) I went and sat down at my seat with my siblings and close friends, the opening band was playing. They were some sort of roots/hip-hop/rap group, not your typical band to open for TOOL. It was almost amusing like “is TOOL just fucking with their fans by having some random rappers play. I still am not sure. At this point the LSD was just now giving me some small effects, just felt I was stoned or something.

The opening band finished up their set. The next 30 minutes were just quietly anxiously waiting for TOOL. When that first bass line dropped, the lights dimmed, and then I heard Timothy Leary’s voice “think for yourself, question authority” it hit me. It was like I knew what amazing art was about to be shown and my mind wouldn’t let me trip until it was just right. I mean as soon as I heard Leary’s voice go on my brain let go and I descended down the rabbit hole. I had an amazing overwhelming feeling that washed over me that I was the most privileged person in existence ever. At that exact time and place, to combine being in America the leader of the free world (Which it is, there is much art and amazing things to come out of the USA not just war), being at the best concert TOOL has ever put on, and taking LSD a substance that could have been discovered and used at any point in history, but it happened to be discovered recent enough ( it was legal just a few decades ago) that it is available for anybody who wishes to take the journey.

By only the third song I was starting to really feel it. It was all good or so I thought. I lit up a joint to chill out, and passed it. When I hit that thing for the third time I got a head rush that punched me five layers deeper into this trip. I was listening to the song Stinkfist and observing the stunning visuals that go along with it when “the fear” hit me. I started fretting for what might happen.

Did I take too much? Is something bad going to end up happening? Am I going to hurt someone? So I sat down to talk myself out of this perpetual cycle of fear,  it was a daunting task being surrounded by 9,000 people, it’s hard enough to maintain an intense trip at home but being around that many people was another story. I was so afraid of some asking me if I was ok, I knew I had to have a poker face. I finally got grip and stood up to face to music (literally). I looked at my family and out over the city and at the visual grenade of a stage. I had a feeling of total acceptance and love on a universal level, I feel like at this point I was no longer my body trying to reject this experience but now I was just me and enjoying everything this experience had do offer. I was unafraid and laughing, what was there to fret about. I am a bag of chemicals surrounded by the empty space of the Universe. We are all a consciousness coming from nothing, given a body to use as a tool to experience a life subjectively to die and be reborn and try to remember who you are, not who your body is and its surroundings, but who are you as an energy form.

After experiencing this revelation things were flowing downriver from here. The rest of the time was pure ecstasy. I was still in control of my body but totally disconnected from physical reality. At one point during the chaos and fun of the show a younger couple ascended up the bleacher style seats to go to the top of the venue where food and bathrooms were, as they were passing by me time completely stopped. It was to date the most amazing thing I have ever seen. To see time actually stop, all of the music turned into slow mumbling sounds. All of the show visuals and lights were totally still. All the people around me were in mid-moment, and that younger couple walking by me they stopped right in front of me and stood there, eyes half blinking, arms in stride but not moving an inch. Everything is a little bit blurry when time stops. It’s not like video on pause where you are viewing time stopped but your reality of time is still moving. TIME COMPLETELY STOPPED. My reality of time as I know it no longer existed. Then I started having intense auditory hallucinations. Sounds of a thousand voices sped up were occupying all of my sound space. Then time all of the sudden just started back up. I could now hear the music fine and that younger couple finally walked passed me and out. The show was rockin out again. Then the moon came up from the horizon looking mystical and with a rich red hue. It was all around amazing left and right. Then Looking out over the millions of acres of lights that makes up Denver, I felt once again like the most privileged human being to have been exposed to something so amazing. It was God. All these lights and people were energies of the divine, the bright white light of God. God being the divine power that makes up everything in the universe. I was closer to being God than any church could ever bring you. Not that I have anything against religion, I just think it’s better to be spiritual than religious. The show wrapped up and we headed down to catch a taxi (whole other story). When the night finally settled down, I sat in a chair in the hotel room with my eyes closed swimming through my head. I was making music in my head that sounded like music from another planet 100 years in the future. I laid there in that familiar environment of being sweaty and worn out from such an information overload, so blasted with ideas, information, and theories that you can’t get to sleep. But at some point I guess I must have passed out. Next thing I remember is waking up all sober. I don’t remember any dreams, so where was my consciousness while my body was asleep recuperating.

Life is absolutely fucking crazy.

Who knew that education, realization, and wisdom came so cheap, only $20. But those concert tickets weren’t cheap.

I hope to continue my battle to transcend my ego and find happiness in all the odds and ends of life. When I die and am reborn as who knows what or when I will try to remember this experience.

Like I said this is the best that words can do at explaining what I felt. To further explain it try it yourself, don’t be afraid. Do it out of love not fear.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88724

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Nov 30, 2011	Views: 15,861

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

It’s been a week and three days since I dropped LSD for the first time. I’ve previously smoked salvia a few times (by far my most abstract and terrifying psychedelic experiences), tried psilocybin mushrooms once, dropped ecstasy a few times, drank one opium tea and smoked weed on and off pretty heavily over the last two years (a habit, since experimenting with more intense hallucinogens, I’m beginning to lose interest in). The notoriety of “acid flashbacks” always intimidated me, I’d always been given the impression that they’re extremely intense and could strike at any time, the safety (and sanity) of my future self, and those around me, never seemed worth the high. When I heard down the grapevine that a chemistry student from my college was getting hold of a couple of tabs I decided to investigate acid flashbacks and see how dangerous they can actually be, the fruits of my research comforted me and I decided to drop a tab the following weekend.

Although a little unfit I’m generally in good health, I take no medication and there are no mental health problems in my family (as far as I am aware at least). Before trying new drugs, especially hallucinogens, I usually experience a lot of anxiety but I felt really positive about trying LSD from the moment I realised the chances of it ruining my life were slim to nought. Previous difficult experiences with drugs have taught me the value of caution and I decided to drop half a tab first and see how I felt after that. Dropped the first half at about half past 12 and pressed it firmly to the mucus membrane beneath my tongue, held it there for two or three minutes then chewed and swallowed it.

My sitter and I took a bus into my city centre and milled around while I waited to come up, I started to feel off baseline after about an hour but my impatience was getting the better of me and after an hour and a half I dropped the second tab. A trip to the local art gallery was pretty strange, we only spent about fifteen minutes in there but by the end some of the more modern abstract art was beginning to take a decidedly trippy feel. One of the unexpected effects the acid gave me was that it made my ears “pop” really frequently, similarly to when they do as a passenger on a plane taking off or landing. I’d earlier arranged to meet some friends at a jazz gig in a student bar, so me and my sitter headed to the station to wait for our bus.

On our way I accidentally shattered the airtight Perspex tube the tab had been sold to me in, rather than immediately discarding it I spent a while rubbing my thumbs over the serrated edges and spreading blood over my hands. It took me a while to realise what I’d been doing and when my sitter noticed he persuaded me to throw the shards away before I seriously hurt myself. It was around this time (about two hours after dropping the first half) I became fully aware of the LSD’s affects, my concept of shape became pretty flexible and I was noticing a lot of unusual patterns (for example the speckles on the bus station’s floor tiles were forming patterns a lot like fossil shells). One of the things I found most difficult about the experience was the time dilation, seconds were genuinely stretching into minutes, although this in itself isn’t much of a problem the confusion it fostered brought me close to anxiety a few times.

After what seemed like an eternity sat waiting for our bus to depart we were on the road. The bus ride itself didn’t seem especially weird, in hindsight I remember noticing quite a lot of trippy patterns and visual distortions but at the time they really didn’t seem to matter at all. I think the time dilation must only come on really strongly when you stay in one environment for a while, because I spent the bus journey staring out of the window at the different streets and we were at the bar in no time. I’d been there two or three times previously so it was an environment I was fairly familiar with. When we entered we unexpectedly bumped into two kids I know from college (C and J, for convenience) so we pulled up chairs and sat with them whilst the band played.

I can’t remember much of what the band’s set was like, the few times I concentrated on them I found their music really positive and uplifting. Disappointingly I experienced no visual synaesthesia although changes in tempo and intensity had a definite affect on my perception of temperature. Over the next few hours (about three to five hours after dropping the first half) the time dilation reached its peak and I began to feel very comfortable, at this point I was already glad of the experience but was beginning to feel like I wanted to come down. The dragging time was making me impatiently text my friends to find out how long they’d be, texting took a look of concentration but the messages were far more legible than ones sent drunkenly.

As the acid was peaking I felt really fidgety and started shredding placemats into ridiculously small pieces whilst rocking my legs quickly under the table. I had the feeling of “energy” running underneath by skin, all over my body. It’s hard to describe properly, the closest I can get is to imagine the bubbles in boiling water over your entire body. My friend H arrived during the peak and stayed for about half an hour, she was wearing a leopard-print coat which I amused myself with for a while, watching the spots rearrange themselves into feline faces. Although my general perceptiveness was reduced I felt a lot more perceptive about people’s emotional states but the time dilation was making conversation a disorientating experience, I had to keep asking if I was speaking too much/not enough. Eventually, a couple of hours late, my friends V and B arrived and we were able to head back into the city centre for the day’s main attraction: the city’s Christmas lights display.

Our departure was delayed for a while because I was beginning to feel really rooted to the bar and afraid of what we might encounter if we left. I can’t remember if I reasoned myself out of this or was talked out of it, but eventually we set off on foot. Although the dark made me a little apprehensive at first but once we were outside the cool air and lights on the wet concrete overwhelmed me with euphoria. Walking felt absolutely effortless, as if I was being carried around by a conveyor belt and colours, rather than being cartoonishly exaggerated as portrayed in the media, instead just seemed much more intense. It felt as if I was seeing colour with clarity for the first time, shapes and patterns (existing ones, not just my hallucinations) also seemed to have real significance. My most powerful ecstasy experience doesn’t even come close to the absolute peace and euphoria I had wandering those wet streets but although not as intense ecstasy is at least stable. LSD’s volatility ensured the bliss way to be short lived.

On the way into town we stopped by at a Tesco’s, I can’t remember exactly why, presumably for food. The shop was crawling with police (looking back I may have just hallucinated some of them, I’m sure there were definitely three but at the time everyone inside looked in uniform). Every authority figure’s eyes bored into me, every corner I turned revealed yet more cops. I daren’t risk leaving the shop in case they corned me alone so I followed my sitter around the shop. He was talking quite a lot and concentrating on his voice as we wandered about the shop’s confusing layout helped me focus my attention. We were finished and back on the street within minutes but the experience was nevertheless taxing, my euphoria was totally vanished and the streets assumed a new hostility. After talking to my friends for a while and watching the reflections of the streetlights in puddles I began to feel more comfortable again, looking ahead I realised we were close to the city centre.

We entered the city centre through the back of the newest shopping centre, a towering, well-lit glass structure. The combination of the lights and glass looked staggering and heralded the return of the euphoria, somehow even more intense than that experienced earlier. My friends assured me that the city’s Christmas lights were overwhelmingly disappointing but at the time I was convinced I’d never seen anything more sublime. The auras around each bulb dissected into elaborate and radiant rainbow light spectrums. My friends complained of hunger and busied themselves with staring through shop windows whilst I staggered, open-mouthed down each street gazing above me. I was struck by how easily my friends allowed cynicism or physical/material distractions to divert their attention from such a profound pleasure. When I tried to explain this to them they seemed totally unconvinced and after a while of nonsensical rambling I eventually gave up trying to expand their consciousness. Although I would have happily wandered the streets for hours more, my friends decided they wanted to leave so we returned to the bus station. As walk walked I realised my cheeks were stained with tears.

The bus station was busy when we arrived, full of loud young people. My patience with gobshites is short at the best of times, in that frame of mind their raucous was eliciting a combination of dread and frustration. Time dilation, my frustratingly constant companion through the day, returned at this point and the wait for our bus dragged badly. At the point it was about six or seven hours since I’d dropped the first half and the effects were noticeably tapering off, although for a while passers-bys faces looked a lot like the android Kryton from Red Dwarf. Eventually V and B’s bus arrived and me and my sitter went and caught a bus to his house.

Although the patterned seats were being a bit mischievous the bus ride wasn’t too bizarre, once again because I think I had a lot to concentrate on. Peering out of the front window of the bus just before we got off was fun, I felt like a passenger on a space ship. By the time we got back to the sitter’s house the visual effects were all but gone, I just had to wait out the comedown and try and get some sleep. We sat and read old issues of Vice Magazine until about 1 in the morning when I eventually decided to go home. I felt incapable of sleep so I sat on my computer for a while and then tried reading. I picked up Dead Souls by Gogol at first but that proved too difficult to concentrate on so I changed to Nineteen Eighty Four and leafed through that till I fell asleep at around 6 in the morning. I woke up two hours later not feeling too bad, although I resented having to get up for college.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88499

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Dec 3, 2011	Views: 22,867

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Nature / Outdoors (23), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

Before I get into this, I just want to note that the following is my perception of the night's events. Therefore the order of events, and how much time elapsed during and between said events, will probably become more and more inaccurate as the story progresses.

It all started on a Monday night. I was playing video games with my dealer and my roommate over at my dealer's dorm room. He had just gotten in 100 hits of acid, and throughout the night people were shuffling in and out of the room buying their entertainment for the weekend.

Originally, I hadn't planned on taking any drugs at all that night, aside from my habitual 'bed-time bowl'. I had been up for over 48 hours on Aderall trying to finish my final for my drawing course, and wasn't in any physical state for psychoactive drugs. I had, however, made previous arrangements to get six hits of the stuff by ordering a copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops for my dealer the week before.

After contemplating it for a few hours I figured: 'What the hell. I'm done with exams, why not?' So I asked my dealer to give me the six hits. He dimmed the lights, and tore off three rectangles from a very colorful, perforated sheet of blotter paper, and wrapped them up in some computer paper for me. I hadn't watched him do it because it was my turn to play Modern Warfare. After the match, I walked down the hall to my own room, shut off the lights (My dealer had told me earlier that acid can't be exposed to direct light), and unwrapped the piece of paper on my desk. I then ingested two rectangles.

To my horror, I realized that there was only one rectangle left in the computer paper. I frantically searched the room for the remaining four rectangles, but to no avail. I even backtracked down the hallway, and searched my dealers room. At first he thought maybe I had already begun tripping, but eventually he asked me what the hell I was doing. Nervously, I asked him, 'Were those hits rectangles, or squares?' He laughed and told me they were squares. I had just unintentionally taken four hits of acid.

By now I was a little freaked out. I didn't know what to expect. I'd taken mushrooms before, but never any more than a half-eighth, but as Hunter S. Thomson once said (and I'm paraphrasing a bit), 'People don't find acid. acid finds you when 'it' thinks you're ready.' I was in for a wild ride, to say the least.

I'd say the on-set took about 30-40 minutes. I played video games during that time, and toward the end I decided that I felt like smoking a cigarette. After I was done, I came back in, and went to my own room to sit for awhile, and maybe play a little guitar. I guess it really sunk in when I tried to play guitar. I hadn't gotten any further than a couple chords when I looked at a drawing I had done that day of a mandolin. The mandolin started to become more and more vibrant and detailed, and eventually the lines started to move rapidly, hopping all over the page, but somehow still holding the shape of a mandolin. That's when the realization that I was tripping came. I'm sure anyone who's taken a psychoactive drug knows the feeling, when you look around you and you say to yourself, 'Wow, I'm tripping.'

I spent the next 20 or 30 minutes looking around the room, curious as a chimp. I wanted to know what everything looked like, not because I didn't know what things looked like, but because things looked so different on acid. Much different than things ever looked on mushrooms. Everything seemed to be moving at a rapid pace. It was pretty crazy, or so I had thought.

So after a while, my roommate and dealer came by to check on me. I had said I'd be back after my cigarette, so they were just making sure I hadn't done anything stupid. I wanted to somehow explain to them how everything looked, and felt, but there really were no words to express it. The best I could come up with was 'This is crazy.'

After that, we went back to my dealer's dorm to pack a bowl. The Bengals were playing that night, which is kind of a big deal for my roommate and my dealer. We went to the bottom of our building and started to smoke. I knew smoking would kick the shit out of me, but I didn't care. I knew it'd make things better, and it did.

It was almost instantaneous, as soon as I exhaled the smoke, the whole world changed. Before, everything was morphing and changing, yes, but I still acknowledged the existence of the world. After, the whole world was a different place. It was as if my entire existence was confined to my dorm building. There was no world beyond it, but strangely, I was OK with that. I felt secure in knowing that my entire world was right there. No more. No less.

After we finished the bowl, the whole world began to suddenly pulsate, as if we were in one of the underwater levels in the original Super Mario Bros. The whole world felt like it was moving to some sort of rhythm. Everything didn't necessarily move in the same ways, but they all seemed to be a part of each other. I think the best way to describe it is to imagine that each different object (the lights, the catwalk, the trees, the grass) was a different instrument, and that they were all playing one silent song. I say silent, because at this stage of the trip, I couldn't hear the music yet, but more on that later.

Eventually the pulsating was starting to get to me, and I decided that maybe it was time for a cigarette. When I took one out of the pack, though, I realized I only had two left. Now I knew damn well I was going to need more than two cigarettes that night, so I asked my roommate if he would take me downtown  to get more cigarettes. He said yeah, and we begun the mile or so uphill trek into town.

Now this is the part of the trip that got a little scary for me at times. Let me explain the route we had to travel so you can better understand this. When you come out of my dorm, you walk through a parking garage to get to the front of that part of campus. Then you travel up a very steep hill for about a quarter mile, then you plateau, and have to travel up another hill into a large park with lots of trees and limited visibility of oncoming passerby. After  that, you just cross the road into town.

So we started off having to go around to the front of my building, and when you get to the front, there are a few picnic tables and some trees. Now, this was probably the first time I'd seen a tree up close since I started the trip. They looked absolutely insane. The bark of the trees looked like the cracked sand you see in deserts sometimes, but it still held the solid properties of the bark. Since it was fall, the leaves were a bright red color, and occasionally one or two would fall down. My brain interpreted the leaves as great masses of wax, and when a leaf would fall, it looked like the tree was dripping wax. There were also faint bits of light peaking through the leaves that looked like lit candles.

When we got into the parking garage, the whole place started getting hazy, and it looked as if bugs were flying at the lights. They weren't moths, but they were behaving in the same manner. When we got out of the parking garage, though, is when things started getting weird. We crossed the lawn toward the street, and I began noticing that all the people we passed looked a bit off. It was as if each person was odd in their own way. For example, when we passed one group of people, the girl on the left began morphing into one of those zombie people you see on Ed Hardy tattoos. Other people would turn into strange over-exaggerated versions of themselves, while other people would undergo transformations into completely different creatures, some menacing, some not. I wasn't scared at all, but the world was becoming more and more foreign. I think it could be equated to moving to an entirely different planet without any prior knowledge of the culture and mannerisms of the intelligent species that lived on that planet. You just weren't 100% sure how to act.

When we began to cross the road to the first hill, my perceptions of time and space were starting to diminish. I saw there was a car coming, and I wanted to hurry across the road, but it seemed like every step I took brought me further and further away from the other side of the road. The car kept inching closer, and I started to walk really fast. When my roommate asked me why I was walking so fast, I realized that I had cleared three or four times the distance of the road. It was as if my mind had trapped me in the middle of that road, even though my body had already crossed it. But that was only the beginning.

When we began to climb the hill, it became increasingly difficult to percept time correctly. I remember walking up the hill, and there were distinct periods where time would be moving in slow motion, quite literally like one of those stupid YouTube videos where they repeat the funny part of the video five or six times with increasingly slower playbacks. And then there were times when it was like someone hit the fast forward button on me. According to my roommate, I would fluctuate between looking like I was tip-toeing up the hill, or speed-walking up the hill. I also want to note that by now, people were taking on increasingly strange forms, and that their eyes seemed to glow, almost like a laser was being emitted from their eyes. When they walked, it looked as if the glow was following where their eyes had been, similar to the way headlights appear on a long exposure photograph of a busy street.

The first hill was a challenge, to say the least, but it hadn't prepared me for the second. Up until this point, I hadn't felt any true feelings of fear. Yes, everything around me was crazy, and at times a little hard to swallow, but up until that second hill, I was able to accept what was happening, and just go along for the ride.

(To put things into perspective, I noticed that the intensity of the trip and the grip it had on my mind seemed to increase over time at an exponential rate. At any given time, I could assess how insane things were, but I could never accurately imagine how crazy things were going to be five minutes from then. The insanity level always exceeded my expectations by a very large margin.)

Ok, so second hill. I'm beating around the bush a little because as I'm writing this, I'm reliving some of the emotions, albeit on a much smaller scale, of the trip. The second hill was a little unnerving. The actual hill sits behind a library, and is more of a shortcut into town rather than an actual road. That being the case, the hill becomes very dark at night, and can even be a little scary when you're not taking acid. Anyway, so we're making our way up the hill, and my perception of time is going absolutely nuts. The transitions between slow motion and fast forward are becoming more violent, to the point where I can't figure out how fast I'm actually supposed to be walking. I probably looked like a mental patient at times, but that wasn't the least of my concerns.

As I explained earlier, the top of the hill turns into a park with lots of trees and limited visibility, so during this part of the journey, I had to pay close attention to how I was acting because the amount of people around me was rapidly changing. It seemed like every few steps I took, another person was rounding a corner from a different side. I felt like I had to act normal, but it became increasingly more difficult when I had to remain relaxed and unfazed when another scarecrow, skeleton, or dark figure with glowing red eyes past me. All the while I had to fight my perception of time, and remember which path to take to get to town. And let's not forget about the melting trees, and did I mention that at this point the path was shifting back and forth like one of those old rope bridges that you see in movies all the time? That's when things got a little overwhelming and I begun to feel what could only be described as sheer terror. I don't think I'd ever felt that scared at any point in my life up until then. There really wasn't any reason for it, but I guess the combination of menacing transformations, a sense of urgency to get to where we were going, and the fact that it was dark freaked me out.

The sensation didn't last long, though. In fact, had I been able to perceive time correctly, it probably would have lasted somewhere in the neighborhood of two or three seconds, but at the time it seemed to last for an eternity. It was as if someone just hit the stop button on the crazy movie that my life had become. During that wave of emotion, I had managed to take the wrong path toward town, and my roommate began laughing at me. The reintroduction of laughter into my world rejuvenated me, and allowed me to get back to just accepting what was going on around me. Don't get me wrong, the world wasn't any less insane, but I was back in the right mindset to enjoy my time in this strange and new world.

When we made it across the road though, we ran into another small hitch. In the state my mind was in, there was no way in hell I could have handled the simple task of handing the clerk my credit card and ID and asking for a pack of lights, so I told my roommate he had to do it. He was really stoned, and was having a hard time understanding how he could just go in and use my credit card and sign for me, but eventually we got it sorted out.

I waited outside while he was buying my smokes. He was probably only gone for a few minutes, but it felt like a really long time. Not only that, but I felt like everyone that was passing by me knew I was tripping. Of course, I knew at the time that that was a completely irrational fear, and that most, if not all the people that had seen me hadn't the faintest clue that I was tripping. Still though, I was a little worried, and I kept misinterpreting people's words, thinking they were talking about me. It was at this point that I decided to let it all go, and not worry about whether people knew if I was tripping. It was my trip to enjoy, right?

When my roommate finally came out of the store, we both lit up a cigarette. I thanked for taking me into town, and we began to make the long trek back to our dorm. The way back wasn't nearly as eventful. I seemed to have control of myself physically, and I didn't experience any overwhelming emotions almost the whole way back.

When we got to the dorm building though, everything went wrong again. We weren't even forty feet from building, and I began to get a flash of terror again. This one was easily hundreds of times worse than the first, but only lasted for a second. It was as if confusion was triggering these extreme bursts of terror. I guess I didn't want to be confused in a world that already made no sense whatsoever, and my mind reacted in the most extreme way it could.

I also want to just mention how strange smoking cigarettes was at this point in the trip. When I would first light a cigarette, it was just like any cigarette, but as I kept smoking it, it would eventually become a part of my hand. It was almost like I was smoking my own finger. Now don't get the wrong idea, it wasn't painful, scary, or disturbing, the cigarette was simply a part of me while I was smoking it.

Anyway, so we get back to the dorm room (after a close encounter with an RA), and decide to go back over to our dealer's dorm to watch the Bengals game. The last time I had seen a clock was before we had gone to go get cigarettes, so I was a little surprised to find out that we had only been gone for about 35, 40 minutes.

This is where things get a little hard to explain. I don't even think there are words in any modern language that can truly explain the things that happened next, but I'll try my best.

Now, earlier in the trip, people I was familiar with hadn't really changed much. It was the unknowns that took on radical transformations. But now, the people I knew were starting to morph. I'll start with my roommate. My roommate began to emit what looked like the bright light that appeared over the heads of the angels in Touched by an Angel. The light wasn't on the top of his head though. It seemed to be coming from behind his neck, and radiated upward. Also, his head became very rounded, his eyes became beady, and his smile was extremely childlike. He reminded me of one of Santa's elves. My dealer on the other hand, started to become really blocky, as if his entire body where made of different sized bricks. Occasionally some of those bricks would break off, much like the wax in a lava lamp does, and would sort of float in front of his face and disappear. My friends weren't what was crazy though. The walls were. Reality itself was.

I think this is the point when I started to let go of reality. The three of us were perched on my dealer's bed watching the game, except I wasn't watching. I was looking at the walls. Now I'm going to do my best to explain this, but bare with me on this one. The walls were coming apart at the seems, but beyond them wasn't the outside. Beyond them was what appeared to be another dimension of sorts. I don't remember much of what I saw on the other side, but I do remember that there were some scary looking creatures, and the world on that other side was a crimson color. It's nearly impossible to put to words what that other dimension was. It was almost calling out for me. It wanted me to explore it, but every time I got close to it, I willed myself to come back to the dorm room. I know that if I had gone there, I would have run the risk of literally going insane.

Remember that music I mentioned back in the beginning of the story? Well, when the seems of reality began tearing, I started to hear the music. It wasn't aurally pleasing at all, really. It was more like a strange drone that changed pitch and kept a rhythm. There's a song by Arcade Fire called Sprawl II where they let the chord at the end of a verse just drop off, note by note, and then come back in. It's probably the best way to describe how the music sounded. It was almost eerie, but I was OK with it, because I felt like it was just the sound of the Earth.

Anyway, back to the story, so I'm sitting in my dealer's dorm, and we're watching the game. I won't explain the visuals, aside from the walls splitting, because it was all pretty average for a trip. This is when I started to feel the pressure. Maybe it's just me, but when I trip on any drug, I tend to feel as if some invisible hand is grabbing the back of my head and applying pressure. During the majority of the trip it didn't really bother me, but I guess it kind of got to me when I was sitting in that dorm. I started to get really uncomfortable, and antsy, so I decided to go out for a cigarette.

I don't know how long I was out there. All I know is that when I got out there, reality abandoned me completely. My brain was now being fully controlled by the acid. The invisible hand had grasped me. I was now, for at least a little while, insane.

My whole life made no sense anymore. I couldn't figure out why or if I existed, and I couldn't put together the simple chain of events that had put me into the situation I was in. I had no idea how I had gotten to the bottom of the building, or how I ended up tripping, or even why I was  smoking a cigarette. As time past, I lost my grasp on things more and more rapidly. After a while, I couldn't even comprehend my being a human being. I was just there, existing in a strange time and space.

That's about as far as I can probably go, as my thoughts became so paradoxical from then on that I can't really give any sort of chronology of events. I remember getting trapped in my brain, thinking in circles, trying not to feel empty, for a long period of time. I think at one point I seriously contemplated calling one of parents to let them know how hard I was tripping. I remember ideas and feelings became tangible entities. I remember forgetting what it was like to be high or drunk, and really trying to contemplate what it felt like. Eventually I even forgot what being normal felt like.

But I also remember catching myself a few times and reminding myself that it would all be over in the morning, because during those times, I had legitimately thought that I wasn't coming back from the trip. These thoughts probably lasted for hours. I remember picking up a GameBoy at some point and my life began to revolve around the Tetris game I was playing. When I did well, I was happy. When I made mistakes, I felt devastated.

The next thing I can remember with clarity was coming down. I don't know whether it's normal, but I remember lying in my bed feeling slightly sick to my stomach. As time progressed, the feeling of sickness would move up my esophagus and into my mouth. The process took about an hour, but it was, in effect, a ticking time bomb. When the sickness reached my mouth, it didn't leave. It just brought a nice puke along with it. The puke almost felt good though. It made me feel alive again; real almost.

After I puked, I smoked a few bowls, and spent the rest of the night looking around my room, waiting for the trip to be over.

The next day I had a bit of a headache, and felt mentally exhausted. A nice warm shower helped.

Overall the trip was a fantastic experience. Even with the fear I felt at some points, and state of absolute insanity I fell into at one point, I feel like I learned a lot from the trip about myself. And even though it wasn't mentioned much in the account, I think the predominant emotions throughout the trip were positive ones. You just tend to remember the scary parts. They impact you the most.

Ever since I first tripped,  I wanted to know what a crazy trip was like. I know that tons of people have had way crazier trips than mine, but I truly believe that fate made me take four hits so that I could experience a serious trip. Now I don't have to look for that trip anymore. I can be done with psychoactive drugs and just stick to good old ganja.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 89195

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Dec 20, 2011	Views: 17,853

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Nature / Outdoors (23), Various (28)