		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 hit

		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 30:00

		 Pharms - Diazepam

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   64 kg

Fresh from my second experience with LSD and still beaming with the afterglow, I find myself back in the ‘real world’ of work and taxes and congested transit lines once more. The Australian bush, serene and simple, is an ideal place to trip on this beautiful substance, and I wish I could have stayed forever. But there will be another time, already eagerly awaited, to share this experience again with wonderful friends who understand exactly the joy and wonder of opening your mind to the beauty of natural creation.

What can I call this trip but my final inauguration into the world of psychedelics? I’ve had a rocky start on this journey, bad trips and major let-downs that have filled my mind with doubt and anxiety. Now I feel LSD has taught me the fundamental rules of psychonautics, the same lessons more experienced psychonauts have tried to instil in me, only this time, the sheer power of those hours under the night sky broke through my stubborn expectations and showed me. As they say: life-changing.

First, a little background. I started out with dextromethorphan, but discontinued after a third plateau trip that left me feeling like a broken soul who didn’t really exist. I then moved on to mushrooms, starting with a two gram trip of a potent species, and it all went well enough until I encountered something so horrific, it shattered my resolve to use hallucinogens as tools for self-discovery, and had me traumatised for a week. In the wake of the four worst hours of my life, I spent the next two months piecing together just what had gone so, so wrong. Did I have some neurological disorder that prevents me from having an experience that isn’t an acute psychotic episode? If I continued dabbling with these substances, would I lose my mind for good? If not for my desperate need for answers, I would have walked away at that point, and I often felt a wiser person would have done just that.

Bear with me as I describe this nightmare of a bad trip. Imagine yourself walking about, ruminating on ever more confused and less sane philosophy about being God, when suddenly, all your senses warp into a confused mess. Everything you see, hear and feel no longer makes the slightest sense, as your room transforms into a mesh of colours and you lose the ability to distinguish sound and touch from emotion and thought. It is to find yourself catapulted out of this human existence into some other place where nothing is solid, there is no time, sanity dissolves, and amid the absolute disorientation there is only one clear thought: Oh. Fuck.

I have just fucked up my life.

It’s impossible to say how long this lasted, perhaps a minute, perhaps an hour. The only awareness I had of the outside world was that it must still be there, and that my friends and family must be so horrified that I destroyed my mind on drugs. As it began to clear, and the connections between percept and concept re-established, I looked around the room with only slightly less confusion. What was this place, who was I, what was I? I had no idea. I spent the rest of the trip gradually working through the confusion to find myself again. I awoke next morning to severe depression and a conviction that I would never, ever touch drugs again.

The night had been so confusing that it was only when I took acid two months later that I remembered this disconnect between my perceptions and my ability to interpret, the dissolution of boundary between thought and senses. All I had was vague memories of a hellish experience that felt like serious brain damage. But acid has a unique way of enhancing my imagination, and now that I understand just what happened, I’ve come to know it as ‘the Blur’.

I tried san pedro, only to find the specimen was inactive. I tried weed for the first time at four hits, and it triggered a minor flashback of the Blur, which I no better understood, but it left me feeling that continuing hallucinogen use would be a sure one-way ticket to that psychotic state. But at the urging of experienced psychonauts, I gave it one more shot and dropped half a tab of acid. The result was a beautiful night of euphoria and clear-headedness I’ve never known before, a brilliant mental stimulant for an introspective mind. I still harboured anxiety that a full tab might tip me over the edge, but resolved to try it anyway.

Now, set and setting. I drove several hours out of the city with two friends, M and G, to a campsite where we’d spend the next three days. It was M, a tripper seasoned with four decades of substance use, much of it at this very site, who supplied the acid. G, who sampled ecstasy and was currently enjoying pot every day, only had one psychedelic experience to his name, and it was on LSD some six years earlier. He’d taken two tabs and ended up in a mental ward for the next few months. G is the most genuinely happy and accepting person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and as an enthusiast of consciousness study, he felt ready to give it another try with good company and a beautiful environment. So it was that we set up camp, spent Friday acquainting ourselves with the sunlit groves and acacia fields, the crystalline river and the tens of thousands of datura plants lining its bank. By Saturday, I felt relaxed and peaceful, and ready to plunge into my first full-blown, not-horrible, psychedelic experience.

We dropped the tabs at 3p.m. on Saturday. M felt it would be best to start late afternoon, as the night ambience and starlight is beautiful on acid. We both took one tab, while G took a half. There’s no way to be sure, but I estimate their strength at 80µg, and though I’m interested in heavy experiences down the road, I don’t see myself ever taking this particular substance at more than 120µg, nor using it more than once a year. Beautiful though it was, I also think I may be one of those rare people who appreciates low-dose acid, perhaps in conjunction with another substance, for its unobtrusive consciousness expansion and creative mindset. On this night, though, the one tab was perfect.

As we started feeling the effects, we left the campsite and took a walk off-road into the sunburnt gullies and the hills abundant with kangaroos. Some describe the acid come-up as hard and ‘pushy’, but I think it’s wonderful. I soon had a big smile on my face and not a care in the world. The LSD was tweaking my consciousness and we were laughing at the stupidest things, yet my thoughts became crisp, unburdened. And then less than an hour in, something happened that almost derailed the experience.

I was looking at the dirt as I walked... and I had an experiential flash of another state of mind that made me think... “What if, as I’m walking along, everything I see, hear, taste and smell, and all of my thoughts and feelings, blur into a total incoherent mesh? ... Oh, shit. That’s exactly what happened on shrooms, isn’t it.”

In an instant, my euphoria was gone. I was starting to get very worried. LSD truly gives me amazing imaginative power, and I couldn’t help but imagine exactly what it would be like if the Blur struck right then. It would propel me into a state of total schizophrenia. I would be walking alongside my friends and reality would just disintegrate, and that would be the end. I might never recover. I might be trapped in that other world, that horrible Blur, forever. And that’s the price I pay for taking too much LSD – those people who encouraged me to go for it were wrong, this really is going to destroy my mind.

I was shaken. Simply by imagining it, I seemed to be invoking the fucking thing, just by the sheer vivid power of my imagination.

My friends knew my history. I could never in good conscience trip with people and not tell them I’d had less than stellar experiences with psychedelics. But I kept my mouth shut and resolved to get through this alone. If I told them something was wrong, their carefree air might turn to concern, and that would only make things worse. Besides, if the Blur was going to happen, it would happen, there was no stopping it. I knew I was wavering on the edge of another bad trip just by inviting that doubt into my mind, so I gritted my teeth, anchored myself in reality, and resolved to endure my own anxiety. Acid is such a powerful substance; it only takes one wrong thought pattern to make it all go to hell. I knew this, and I’d learnt enough from my previous bad trips to not fall for the tricks my mind was playing on me. So there I was, in limbo between good trip and bad, wrestling to keep it together. Had I taken more, I probably wouldn’t have been able.

The sun was almost setting as we made our way back to camp. My main concern by now was whether I actually had any control over whether the trip went well or not. After all, I pondered, how does this work, exactly? People take acid with good set and setting, and sometimes it goes wrong anyway – is that a random chemical fluctuation, or do they just give in to scary thoughts like the ones I’m having? Am I in control here? I parted from M and G, who I later found out were wrestling their own demons, and laid down in the grass to focus my attention on the river and calm down.

This was where I got my first visuals. The cliff face across the water began to morph. The longer I stared at it, the more it twisted. It was a subtle, slow process, and as soon as I looked away, it became solid again. I looked up at the trees above the cliff face, and the entire hillside they rested on started bending, so it looked like the landscape was bowing to me. Quite different from mushroom visuals, which are more electrical and remind me of Alex Grey’s artwork. What they share in common is that the transformation goes deeper the more you stare at the object.

I remained nervous and my anxiety seemed to permeate the air, like a presence in the valley. For the next while, I felt that whatever I was doing, I really ought to be doing something else to get a grip, before this anxiety became the dark and terrifying presence of a bad LSD trip. I thought chatting with my friends might work, but found it stressful to keep a happy composure around them. I found being too far away from them didn’t help either, because I’d be on my own and might get lost if things went bad. You’d think the middle ground of being in their vicinity would work, but it didn’t. So what saved me? Laughter.

I was sitting in the caravan, trying to write down trip notes. G was saying how impressed he was that I could write anything at all, because he, on half a tab, couldn’t manage more than one word. (Incidentally, everything I wrote was quite coherent and legible, but I soon gave up because there was too much happening and writing by hand is sooo slooow on acid.) Anyway, I was having trouble concentrating on what he was saying, so at one point I nodded and said, “Mm... that’s right... Excuse me. I need to go outside and watch some rocks morph.”

We spent the next five minutes laughing hysterically. The rest of the trip was awesome.

It was far from the last funny thing that happened – indeed, our conversations became a strange mix of philosophy, rating burps out of ten, and the most profound fart humour possible... more philosophy, and puns so bad we had to laugh, or occasionally so great we... had to laugh. I was doing most of the philosophy, and I felt an overwhelming need to share it. LSD is very expressive, for me. On the half tab the week before, I’d written seventeen pages of things I felt needed to be said, in three hours. Here, I was saying things like, “Solipsism can be practical. Embrace self-centredness, but don’t let it absorb you.” G thought this was brilliant, and insisted I return to the caravan and write down every such thing I said. “Every experience I have, with all the existential subtleties, the nuances of feeling – all of it is so unique and how else could I, God, experience it, than to not know I am immortal?” M was there to bring us back to reality, and we spent as much time taking the piss out of ourselves as we did legitimately pontificating, until the two merged into one and I announced: “The real Zen master knows that Zen is bullshit.”

Yes, acid is a very thinking drug, and I return to what I said before about low doses. Thirty or forty milligrams would be ideal if you need a lateral solution to a problem.

Periodically, I left the fire we’d built to stand alone under the stars. Here, I became melancholy. I thought about my problems, the chronic dissociation in my life that makes it impossible to even want to be part of human civilization. I felt bitter that LSD wasn’t helping me find a way to heal that, as I’d hoped it might. I thought about death and non-existence, what an incredible waste it is, and how stupid it is that we’re supposed to find any consolation in one day not experiencing reality. “Fuck you,” I said to the beautiful face of the Goddess that formed in the sky. She was there everywhere I looked, a serene face of many forms composed of the million stars in the clear night sky. I gave her the finger.

Later, I wandered about and reflected on my bad mushroom trip, and how I’d felt close to slipping back into it before. What had that all been about? It was the Blur, I realised. At last I could remember just what had happened, how my brain had stopped making sense of my every perception and, not being in any way prepared for it, I’d panicked. That trip didn’t necessarily have to be a bad one. I just didn’t have the experience to handle it. And the reason I’d spent the rest of it having a ‘psychotic episode’ wherein I alternately believed I was God, a patient in a mental hospital, a prisoner in my room for eternity, etc. was because I had no idea what to do with something like that. It had completely thrown me. There’s a knack to this tripping thing, that’s why more experienced users can take high-dose DMT and hold it together.

What was it they’d told me? Whatever happens, don’t fight it, you have to ride it out. I’d had trouble believing that before. Surely if you don’t fight the real psychotic thoughts, that’s when you break down and end up in a mental ward, like my friend G on his first time. But now it made sense. Even the ones who do lose it, they’re not still tripping when they’re in hospital. They’re just insane. There was no danger of the Blur ever lasting for my entire life; I would always come down from it, and the only way lasting damage could occur would be if, indeed, I resisted it, and believed I was losing my mind. Because that is traumatic, and a powerful enough blast of it would be enough to unhinge anyone, the same way watching your lover get tortured, raped and murdered would be enough to send someone over the edge.

Therefore, the solution was always to ride it out, and have an anchor. If I find my ego blasted to the four corners of reality, I need only hold on to one thing: This is a trip. It is not real. It will pass. And I could have done that, even during the Blur. But I gave in to the fear that I’d just lost my mind for good, which was exactly how it felt, and it had destroyed me.

Still, a doubt lingered. How could I be sure about this? And then, I had my answer.

I went back to the fireplace, and asked M and G to give me some weed.

“Just one hit,” I said, and explained what I was trying to do. Last time I smoked, it had invoked the Blur in a mild shroom flashback. At the time, I had interpreted it as psychosis. It hadn’t been as intense as the full thing, but it was still scary and highly uncomfortable, so I decided never to smoke pot again – basically, I decided to run away from the problem. Now, I was turning volte-face and confronting it. This would be my test. My initiation into the world of tripping. And if I was wrong, I would probably lose my mind.

I took a good deep hit, laid back to watch the fire, and waited.

Marijuana and acid have wonderful synergy. You feel heavy and incredibly relaxed, yet far from incapacitated. Conversations drift off in a hundred tangents, yet you always come back to what you started with and you never forget what you were saying. The dynamic of our little group was simply perfect, three misfits of varying ages figuring out the meaning of life in our own ways, feeling we’d glimpsed enlightenment. It was incredible. I’m a lightweight with weed, and the acid seemed to potentiate it, so pretty soon, I was pleasantly stoned. And then, just like I predicted, the Blur crept into the fabric of my consciousness about an hour in.

At first, it was very subtle. I noticed some confusion about the tea I was drinking, how the sensation of warm liquid going down my throat didn’t seem to make sense. How could it be happening in space and time when it was just a sensation? Sensations don’t have dimension. (Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar on drugs; if not, you probably won’t be able to follow.) Gradually it intensified. Our campfire conversation became a far-away mesh of meaningless percept. Yet I held fast to my goal. I did not panic. Whenever I felt I’d gone too far out, I reminded myself I was tripping, and endured it. The dissociation from self and identity, the blurring of the line between thought and the external world, sunk into my consciousness. But the warm glow of acid helped me through it. Everything felt right, even the atemporal, non-spatial stomach cramps I was having. All in all, on Blur scale, it reached a three or a four out of ten, and I was still able to hold conversation despite the powerful dissociation. My last experience on weed might make a five on that scale, and on mushrooms, where everything got obliterated, a ten. I didn’t need a five or a ten. This preview of it was enough to know that next time I encounter it, I’ll be ready.

And the weed slowly wore off, and we started coming down from the acid.

We spent the rest of the night until 3a.m. playing music from the caravan, and eating campfire food and chocolate. Music on LSD is not as good as on DXM and definitely not as good as mushrooms, but it still gels with the everything-is-just-right glow of acid. Food, however, is transcendentally awesome. Fruit explodes in your mouth. The texture of dark chocolate cracking apart into sweet chunks, the salty potatoes disintegrating on your tongue with hot butter, the onion and (non-psychedelic) mushrooms rich with oil... perfect. We shared previous experiences on drugs – G insisted I write down my description of DXM: “Feeling like you’ve lost 30 IQ points, and good riddance.” We stood under the stars again, and this time the Goddess turned into a vampire goth chick, and we all spotted geometric connections between the brighter stars. Visuals had mostly passed by this point, but we continued to notice how the stars looked like little lanterns hanging a few hundred metres overhead instead of thousands of light years away, and how the tin foil around the potatoes looked like breath-taking crystal skulls, or the heads of a Terminator or Optimus Prime. Finally, M fell asleep, and me and G retired to our tent.

Unfortunately, I found it impossible to sleep, and spent the next hour tossing and turning. I was getting faint closed-eye visuals, much like what I picture from a very weak hit of DMT. At first they were slow-moving geometric patterns and shapes, morphing smoothly in dreamlike fashion. But as I got more frustrated, they turned into rotten teeth and hideous dinosaur skeletons. Eventually, I realised that with my last, half-tab experience on acid, what I’d interpreted as a hangover had in fact been the trip continuing. That day, I’d remained dissociated even the next night at work, and I was still having trippy thoughts and a generally altered perception. This time, I’d taken more, so it was stronger. My conclusion: for some reason, I peak normally, but I continue tripping for a long time on acid, perhaps about thirty hours. It was impossible to sleep while tripping, so I woke M up and asked for some Valium. It knocked me out mid-sentence in conversation with G.

The next day was glorious. We wandered the national park and I was in love with everything. All so warm and colourful and orgasmic! I felt proud of my decision to face the Blur and my victory over it, and I was looking ahead to my future psychedelic experiences. I think I will try san pedro next, and then ayahuasca and DMT, if I feel up to the incredible mind-fuck. This had been my best trip so far and certainly I took a lot away from it. I have an enhanced appreciation of life, even though I still struggle with what seems to be a mild form of derealisation disorder, and I have hope now that with the help of psychedelic drugs, I’ll one day find the answers I’m so desperately looking for. Psychonautics is a legitimate psychospiritual discipline for those who want to use drugs that way, and hopefully one day, society will recognise that. A legitimate path for those who seek self-discovery. Trip on and may you all find the peace I had when I sat before that fire and glimpsed, just for a few hours, perfect contentment.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 92657

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 21

Published: Jan 3, 2012	Views: 10,823

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   157 lb

I had been researching mostly on Erowid whether I should take acid for a long time. My friend M and I decided we would try it. We were on winter break from college, and had been texting during the first semester about trying it.

My dealer, T, went to my high school. Ironically, he now lived two minutes from the school. He was booted our sophomore year for selling weed, even though he wasn't a dealer. He just knew where to get it and did kids favors. When he was kicked out of school, he left home. On his own, he worked McDonalds jobs and the like. He sold weed on the side for extra money. Eventually he bought a warehouse which he now uses to launder drug money. He's a full-time dealer now pulling in around $50,000 a year. Not a bad deal, but I don't recommend being a dealer because he's constantly worried about being busted.

We went to T's house on December 22nd, 2010. He said he had some strong acid at the moment. We had been asking him questions about acid for a while, and he answered honestly. He said it's better than shrooms because you can control your emotions, while on shrooms you can't. I haven't tried shrooms so I can't vouch for this. T also said we should be in a safe environment while we try it, or we might have a bad trip. Perfect, my parents don't care about us smoking weed downstairs. They would just figure we were smoking, not doing acid.

T sold us the acid for $10 a tab. He wrapped it in tin foil and handed it to us saying, 'Enjoy, guys!'

We just chilled until my parents went to bed. It was around 10:00 pm. We figured we'd be up until 6 am before we were sober again.

M took it as soon as I told him my parents wouldn't be coming down again. I was hesitant. M said he would take it if I didn't. My brother, A, was our sitter. He also said he would take it if I didn't. Since M already ingested the tab, I told A he could have it. A had it in his hand, and I changed my mind. I grabbed it and said, 'I'm just gonna fucking do it.' I put it under my tongue. The only way to describe the taste is “chemical.” It could have been bleach on that tab and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

Twenty minutes went by, and the tab had almost dissolved in my mouth. I decided it was time to swallow it. M had taken his about ten minutes before I took mine, so he had swallowed about ten minutes before this. We kept expecting something to happen. Every so often we said things like, “What the fuck? Should we have done more than just one tab?”

About an hour in, colors started looking cool. I figured the entire experience would be something like this. A was sitting in the other room waiting for us to start tripping. We told him colors looked more vibrant, so he came in to sit with us. M had a purple winter hat with tassels coming off either side. We decided the hat was the coolest looking thing ever. The purple was so bright. Everything around the lamp next to me was bathed in yellow color. I liked this.

We were in the back room of my house, previously used for computers. Now there was just a piano and a computer desk. At one end is a space heater attached to the wall, since the room has less insulation than the rest of my house. We attribute this to the poor insulation job when we had the room added onto the house when I was about 5. M and I turned the heat up to around 85. We decided we would call the room “the warm room,” since the rest of the house felt incredibly cold to us at this time.

We went outside and smoked a couple bowls. We kept expecting things to happen, but they didn’t yet. This was maybe an hour and a half after we took the tabs, and we were disappointed we didn’t have visuals. We decided after we finished smoking the second bowl we would go to this neighborhood adjacent to mine, which we called the “light neighborhood.” At Christmastime, it’s tradition for everyone in that neighborhood to put up a ridiculous amount of Christmas lights. We thought they’d look cool. The weed/coming up on acid felt a bit like just being drunk and high at the same time, except without the lack of motor function.

A said that he would come with us to the light neighborhood. It was about a 7 minute walk through my neighborhood to the light neighborhood.  We just talked about random shit the entire way there. Nothing felt much different except for the change in colors.

A new effect hit me as we were walking down the path. I felt like I was walking on sand, when in actuality we were walking on gravel. I didn’t enjoy it. There was snow all around the path, but not on the path. A lot of the snow had melted the day before and the day of our trip, so there was hardly any roads and paths.

We walked into the light neighborhood, and I decided the road under my feet felt like I was walking on brownies. It made me want a brownie pretty badly, but I decided it was just because of the weed. I don’t like to give in to munchies. I looked at the lights around me. They were pretty spectacular, but not as spectacular as I expected. They just looked a lot brighter than normal. I look back now and know that I wasn’t yet really affected by the LSD visually, but I started to get mental signs of a trip.

I had been through the light neighborhood a lot of times before, during all seasons. I came to the conclusion that there were three neighborhoods in this single place: one for winter (with the lights), one for summer, and one for fall/spring. Three dimensions existed in this one place for those three seasonal stimuli. I tried first explaining this to A, who brushed it off as bullshit. I then explained it to M, but he brushed it off since he hadn’t been in that neighborhood before. I decided to stand on a snow mound formed by a plow. I decided I was king of the three dimensions of that neighborhood.  It felt incredible to be up there, but I got bored of it and got down.

We walked back, and I felt the brownies underneath my feet the entire way back. Every so often I actually believed that the road was really a brownie. It wasn’t a full trip effect, but I definitely knew I wasn’t normal.

When we got back, A went to bed. M and I decided to go into the warm room to wait. We watched youtube videos that were supposed to trip you out while on acid. It didn’t do much for us just yet. We just sat and talked. I decided to write things in a journal to see if they came out like the stereotypical acid writer would write them. They didn’t. At one point I wrote something about a chicken, and it seemed like a perfect sentence for around 10 seconds, at which point I realized it was utter jibberish.

M and I just sat and talked for a while. We were now three and a half hours in, by my estimation. All of a sudden, M just sat there wide eyed and said, “Whoah.” He paused. “It just hit me,” he said. I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh boy, here we fucking go. M was laughing. Hard. He looked like he was having a good time, so I threw on a pair of sweatpants I had set aside for comfort purposes, and waited anxiously. M stopped laughing and was just saying fucked up shit, which he thought was insightful. I sat there listening.

I was looking into the corner of the room, about midway up. All of a sudden, I saw a vision shift. The bright colors seemed to roll off my vision like a slideshow. Attached at the top of the frame of this slide of the slideshow, was a world of green and greenish-yellow. I watched as the semi-sober, bright-colored slide shifted down a little bit, revealing a little bit of the trip world, then back up a bit, then quickly down all the way. I was left with just the trip world. I said, “Whoah.” I paused for a second to take it in and told M, “Dude… everything is so fucking green. It’s strange.”

I looked at the notebook I was writing in before, and decided writing wasn’t what I wanted to do right now. I wanted to do something else. I kept trying to describe what I was feeling to M. I seemed to describe it in different ways, over and over again.

Every single way I described it seemed wrong to me. It was indescribable.

“Dude, this is weird.”

“My God, this is strange.”

“Wow, this is fucked up.”

“It’s so different.”

“Like, I can’t even describe it.”

“It’s weird.”

I kept repeating the words “weird, strange, fucked up, different, can’t describe it” in my description of what I was feeling. I couldn’t get what I wanted to say out of my mouth. The same words were echoing over and over again in my head. We’re now at about four and a half hours in. This is the point where I lost all time perception.

I felt my phone in my pocket. It was vibrating up against my leg. I decided my phone didn’t belong in my pocket at that certain moment in time. It was meant to be on the table. I put it on the table saying something along the lines of, “Now it’s where it belongs.” It one-hundred percent seemed like that was the most perfect place in the world for my phone right then.

M was saying random jibberish to me still. My brother couldn’t sleep, so he came down to check on us. When I told him I couldn’t understand what M was saying, he said he could understand him perfectly. I followed him into the kitchen, leaving M alone in the warm room. I kept telling A how “strange,” and all those other adjectives I had been listing in my head, the experience was. He kept saying he got the point, it’s weird and indescribable. He told me to go back to the warm room with M, because he was going to smoke a bowl to fall asleep, and didn’t want me bothering him. It made me feel like absolute shit. I was all conscious about how I was acting now. I told myself I was fine, that I was just high. I then went back to the warm room and joined M.

When I came back to M, I asked him if he was scared when he was alone. He said no.

Finally, I could understand him. The fact that he said he didn’t get lonely or scared when I was gone was a huge relief. We sat there, now both of us trying to describe to each other how we were feeling. He was coming up with analogies, and I was using those same adjectives as before. Every so often, I would get stumped on a word to use and just say, “It’s so… blah!” We must have been talking about how we were feeling for a few hours, because I don’t know where a lot of the night went.

M had his purple snow hat with tassels next to him. He decided it would make the world perfect if he put it on. I decided I needed to make something perfect, too. I saw my phone, and decided all would be perfect if I put it back in my pocket. It was alright, but not perfect. I told M I would be right back. I went into my room and plugged the charger into my phone. Now, THAT was perfect.

I went back downstairs and walked toward the warm room. I was looking at things all around me when I was walking back. I found out I could control things that I saw. I made certain objects in my house wavy, but I could only do it to one object at a time. I did it to the wall, and I decided I was done with making things wavy, because I didn’t like the way the walls looked. It wasn’t perfect. I needed perfection. Now I wanted to try “something else.” The words “something else” in my head didn’t seem like the right words to describe what I wanted to do. I needed to come up with “something specific.” The words “something specific” were the words that didn’t sound right, now. I kept thinking of the “correct” word to go after the word “something.” It irritated me, so I just stopped thinking about it, and decided to “distort” certain objects in my house. I looked at the kitchen table. I made the table stay static, and the room (along with everything in it except the table) was moving up and down. It was “cool.”

I put all of these in quotes, because they didn’t seem specific enough to me at the time to describe the thoughts I wanted to convey to myself. I was very “irritated.”

I went back to M in the warm room, who had his eyes closed. He said he was watching hallucinations. He liked it. I sat down in the green armchair I had been sitting in the entire time. It didn’t seem right to be sitting in it at this moment in time, so I stood up and sat on the footrest of the chair. That seemed right.

I looked at M. He was now looking at me with a quizzical look on his face. His purple hat on his head seemed new and different to me, so I told him. He said he loved that hat. I said I didn’t like it. He said I was just jealous. I didn’t like the way it rested on his head. The color was hurting my eyes. His face turned into something grotesque when he had that hat on. He refused to take it off. I was pleading for him to take it off. He decided he liked it on too much, and told me to chill out since I was just tripping. I still didn’t like that hat, or his face. He looked like a monster.

I sat back in the armchair to distract myself from this annoyance. I was scared when I looked at him. Instead, I looked at different objects in the room. It was like I’d never seen them before in my life. They were all so different. A grandfather clock we have in that room, which we have had since before I was born, looked unfamiliar. I decided to open up a compartment in the lower portion of it. It was empty, and it needed something in it. I took a plant off of the top of our piano and put it inside.

On a side note, my mom found it a few days later and thought I was playing a prank on her.

With the atmosphere of the room completely new to me, I decided we should go into the kitchen and look at things on the internet. On the way into the kitchen, I started trying to describe how I was feeling to M again. He completely agreed with me, and kept naming new adjectives, which I added to the wordbank in my head which held all the ways to describe it. When I thought of the wordbank, I saw an organized table. Each category of adjectives had a noun at the header. Words like “prosthetic limb, dragon arcade, and computer” were the nouns I had heading the adjectives. The last category had “I don’t know” for the header. There were no words in that category. It felt like a small success to me. It seemed like I was thinking about this for an eternity, but when I was done, I was still only halfway to my mom’s laptop in the kitchen.

We opened it up, and I typed in the password. The volume was all the way up, and the sound the computer played when it had loaded windows was “crazy.” M and I had a hard time finding the right words to describe it. On the table in my head, I moved “crazy” over to the column headed by “computer.”

We first decided to look up things about weed. We read weed stories on erowid. We then looked up how long you trip on LSD for. Websites in general said it could last from eight to fourteen hours. We decided we weren’t okay with that, since we would be tripping until noon the next day if the acid was as good as T told us it was. I didn’t want to face my parents while tripping, and I had to drive M home around 10 am that day.

We watched the music video for “Spiders” by System of a Down. The music video has a bunch of tentacles or something moving around underwater. We watched with crazy concentration. We kept telling each other we were scared. We couldn’t stop watching, and neither of us wanted to turn it off for reasons unknown. The emotion it made us feel was unbearably different from anything we’d ever felt before.

I listened to the music now, instead of just watching the video. The vocals sounded like background noise. The drums were speaking to me in a way I can’t describe. They were sending messages to me. I agreed with every message it told me. There wasn’t a real message you could put into words, it was just a mutually understood message between the drum beats and myself. I liked it. We decided to turn off the video because M was too scared to watch. I turned it off for him, since I was over being scared of the tentacles.

Now, my friend threw on a prank video to try to scare me, where something jumps out from the side. There was a car driving through a valley with calm music, then all of a sudden a figure popped out and screamed. I wasn’t scared at all. The strange looking, screaming person was just misunderstood and wanted attention. I couldn’t be scared of someone who wanted attention. He’s just a jerk. I told my friend this, and he agreed he wasn’t scared of it while tripping, even though he jumped when he was sober.

Next, we decided to watch trippy color pattern videos. M turned one on. The colors and patterns weren’t analyzed as visual by my brain. Instead, they gave me sensation all over my body. To my eyes, it just looked like a solid block of moving black and grey. To my body, it made me want to move. I told my friend I didn’t want to watch black and grey blocks moving around. He asked me what I was talking about, because they were color patterns moving around. I didn’t believe him, but after looking in the internet history the next day, I found out it actually was colors and patterns.

M decided he was hungry, so we got food. I think we had Cheez-Its. We sat on the couch and ate for a while. When I was chewing, I wasn’t myself. I went blind. I couldn’t feel anything except chewing. I had to close my eyes. When I chewed, the only part of me that existed was my mouth. I couldn’t taste using my tongue, it just turned into visuals of a lone mouth crunching on food. Then, I turned into that mouth. The only weird part was that I was watching from another part of the room, as the lone mouth crunched on food, suspended in thin air.

We put the food away and went back to the computer, where we turned on a new music video. I don’t remember what song or who it was by. About ten seconds into the song, I heard someone say, “Will? M…?” It was my mom. She was standing in the doorway. My friend said he had to use the bathroom, and left.

My mom asked, “Do you know what time it is?” I stood there with a blank stare. She was staying still, while the room shook violently. She said, “It’s 7 in the morning, go to bed!” I stood there staring blankly at her for what seemed like hours, but it must have been seconds.

I responded, “Okay.” She kept talking. I don’t know what she was saying. I was cutting her off in the middle of her sentences with constant, “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.” Then she said goodnight, and went back up the stairs. I can’t believe she didn’t notice how fucked up I was.

I told M he could sleep anywhere in my house he wanted. He asked me if I wanted to chill in the basement with him, with the lights off. I said no, I wanted to go to bed. My bedroom seemed like the most perfect place to be. I walked up the dark staircase. I kept thinking I saw figures looking at me from the darkness. I was sure there was a woman in white, tattered clothes at the top of the stairs. I told myself I was only tripping, and she disappeared.

I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror. Every detail was much more in-depth than it’s supposed to be. I washed my face. I had to close my eyes to do it, and in the process I turned into the water rushing over my face. Now, as water, I rushed across my face and down the drain. When I hit a certain point in the drain, I turned into a new handful of water which I (the real me) was collecting from the sink faucet. I stopped washing my face because I liked being human more than water. I dried my face off.

Now the world turned into the children’s books “I Spy.” I would tell myself I needed to find certain things listed at “the bottom of the page,” which was really a list I made for myself in my head. If I needed to find a wrench, it would just pop up in my field of vision. I liked this game, so I decided to try out “Where’s Waldo” next. When I “found” where Waldo was, a red and white hat and black glasses would appear on whatever object I decided was “Waldo.” I liked this game better than I Spy, but decided it was too childish for me.

I walked into my room and picked up my iPod, placing it on my nightstand. I was scared to lie down on my bed, out of fear that Waldo might pop up behind me, enraged I gave up on his game. I decided Waldo couldn’t hurt me. My reasoning for this was that he was always hiding. He’s just shy. He probably wants to be friends with me. I figured he was probably off crying somewhere over how I gave up on finding him. Waldo needs friends, too. In my head, I assured him that someone else would enjoy finding him later on. The world was now perfect.

I lay down on my bed. The blankets became a part of me. I liked it, but I was cold. Blankets shouldn’t have to be cold, so that people should be warm. I put a second blanket on top of the blanket I had fused with. The second blanket sent a message to me that it liked the cold better than the warmth. It was perfect.

Now I had to pee, so I got up and went back to the bathroom. I hadn’t even turned the lights in my room off yet, so I figured my parents wouldn’t be angry that I left my room for a minute. When I was peeing, my penis felt like just a tube with water rushing through it. It felt like it wasn’t mine. I didn’t like it. I’m a man, it should be mine. It’s attached to me. I turned out the bathroom lights and walked into the hallway. I turned around, and the bathroom looked old and run-down. I turned back toward my room, and then I walked in, closing the door behind me. I picked up my guitar and put it next to my bed in case I wanted to play later on.

I looked at the clock, but couldn’t read it with my eyes. The message traveled to my fingers. I put four fingers up on each hand to tell myself it was eight am. It was the only way I could understand the message the numbers on the clock wanted me to see.

I lay in bed again, and turned out the lights. I put my iPod headphones into my ears and closed my eyes, blankets over my face. I stopped feeling like a single person with the blankets. I was coming down.

Every song I listened to was different than I’d heard it before. Vocals were distorted and just seemed like a stupid way to communicate with the listener. Instead, I listened to the instruments. Depending on the song I was listening to, I was given either a positive or a negative message. Certain songs told me negative things, like that I needed to die eventually. I didn’t like that. Other songs told me I was going to change the world some day, or that I was perfect in every way. I loved listening to these songs. My favorite musical experience was the song Tentative, by System of a Down. The guitar was telling me things in the world needed to change. I closed my eyes and nodded my head, YES! The world DOES need to change in the way you’re describing. At other times I didn’t agree with how the guitar was telling me the world needed to change. I would shake my head, HELL NO! I would explain using telepathic signals to the song about why the world shouldn’t change in the way described. In the end, I won every argument against the guitar, and it agreed with my points.

I took out my iPod. I wasn’t tripping too badly anymore. There weren’t visuals anymore. I wasn’t melting into things I was touching anymore. My penis still felt like a tube, though. However, everything still looked new to me, and everything was still green or greenish-yellow.

I picked up my guitar and began playing. I changed my riffs until the guitar was speaking the message I wanted to convey. I decided to play songs I already knew. Solos I normally had trouble with were a breeze. I was incredible at playing guitar. The only problem was that when I started playing a song, ten minutes later I wanted to play a different song. I was being incredibly sporadic over it. I decided it was time to try to sleep.

I put my guitar away and got back into bed. I turned off the lights and closed my eyes. I had a strange feeling I can only describe as “metallic” in my stomach. I also tasted strangely. My mouth tasted like “stomach ache.” I now think that my sense of touch and sense of taste had been swapped. With my eyes closed, I had visuals like kaleidoscopes. I was bored of it, so I put my iPod back into my ears. Now I was ADD about the music I was listening to. I kept getting sick of a song a few seconds in. I kept thinking that I needed to do “something different.” Oh, God. Please not this again. The adjective thoughts continued through the rest of the trip. I constantly switched between playing guitar, going on my laptop, and listening to music. I kept thinking I would never get sober again. Eventually, 11 am I fell asleep. It was bright out, and birds were chirping. I was still tripping when I fell asleep.

I woke up, still a little high. M was standing over me. He said his mom called him, and he needed to go home. I rolled out of bed, grabbed my keys, and rushed into the garage, and into the car. When I opened doors or moved anything, I couldn’t really feel it in my arms. I knew I was doing it since I was 99% sober, but it just didn’t feel like I was. This was just afterglow, though. I didn’t trip again when I had woken up, and colors and everything were normal.

 [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Driving the car felt funny. I was sober, but the afterglow was definitely affecting me. When I pressed the pedal and the car moved, I couldn’t feel the acceleration. I felt absolutely fine driving, though. I was perfectly safe. I wouldn’t have driven if I wasn’t sober.

M and I talked about the trip on the way home. He said he loved it, and I didn’t know what to think.

It was definitely an eye-opening experience. I may even go as far as describing it as life-changing. It also changed my personality a bit. I’m a lot more sociable now. I don’t know whether it was a self-revelation from tripping that I was a normal individual and have nothing to worry about in social situations, but I definitely am a lot more outgoing now.

I had a very different experience from the norm on acid. I tried it once, and like I said before I ever took it in the first place, I will never try it again after this first experience.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 90477

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Feb 10, 2012	Views: 16,166

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Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 9:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

I’d just like to say that this was a LONG trip. I took 1 tab, and about 9 hours into that I had another, effectively having 2 consecutive trips. Then there was the long long come down. By the end of it I hadn’t slept in 28 hours and was just fried mentally and physically. So, excuse me if this report is a bit long, but I don’t feel my trip is justified enough without the detail.

That aside, this was my second time doing acid. Far from my first experience with drugs though. Over the previous 2 years I had smoked a lot of weed of course, done copious amounts of DXM, DPH and LSA and had done other one-off encounters with salvia, speed, MDMA, Xanax and some painkillers. I considered myself pretty experienced with drugs and at that point impervious to a bad trip, taking into account all the DPH I’ve done and all the bad highs I’d gotten. The first time I did acid on a school night, alone in my room, and while it was fun I don’t think I truly experienced the acid experience. After looking for it again for a year, my dealer-good friend of mine told me that within the next week she’d get some LSD and that I’m more than welcome to take it with her and her friends. As nice as this was, I don’t think I would’ve felt the safest tripping with her Russian skinhead drug dealing muscly boyfriend and his friends. Nice guys and all, but I’m sure acid would’ve said otherwise. I asked her if I could buy 8 tabs for me and my friends instead, who haven’t previously done acid and she said she’ll see what she can do.

Fast forward a week and I’m in her apartment hallway staring at a tiny piece of tinfoil. She said to me “So, remember, there’s 4 with a bear on them and 4 with just colours on them. The one with bears on them are the really strong ones, don’t give them to your friends who haven’t done LSD before. The one without bears are... well, strong ones, ha. Enjoy!” and just like that she guided me towards the door, gave me a hug and told me to take care. So begin our LSD journey. My friend who was waiting outside had a huge grin on his face; we couldn’t wait to take it anymore. But we decided to at least wait till we’re on the bus to our friend’s house to take it. We came to the bus station at about 7pm. Full of impatience, we just said fuck it and went to the bathroom. Opening up this magic piece of tinfoil, we both glared down at the tabs. I carefully picked up my tab, a colourful little smiley bear was on it. I felt nervous. He took his colourful tab and we stared at each other, having second thoughts if we should do it or not (at that present moment). We did anyways, of course, and made our way to the bus stop.

Waiting at the bus stop I felt really nervous. I don’t know why. My foot was tapping and my heart was racing. My friend felt the same, but we felt confident. My mindset at the time was ok. I was doing fine in college, had good friends, but I was piss poor and was arguing with my girlfriend of 3 years. I kept thinking about spiders for some reason (I detest spiders) and my girlfriend. It made me feel a bit scared, what if these thoughts just turned up while I was tripping and then I had a bad trip? What if I started to freak out on the bus? Too late, I thought. It’s slowly melting on your tongue and you know you’re not going to spit it out.

The bus arrived and neither of us could wait to start tripping and to arrive at our friends. The bus journey was 1 hour 25 minutes, so we really needed to occupy ourselves. About 50 minutes later we began to feel good. REALLY good. Just very happy. It was identical to LSA happiness to say the least. We began to talk about rubbish, like how it feels like this bus is a womb and us 2 are twins. Our friend, a female, was coming to pick us up at the bus station. Then we theorized that she was our mother, meeting us at the exit of the womb and would guide us through the world (the city) to happiness (her house where our friends were). The excitement of thinking of seeing her was unbearable! The second we got off the bus we ran towards her and gave her a HUGE hug (so much that we hurt her breasts!), like a dog running to his master. Her already knowing we were a bit fucked up, she gladly purchased all of us an inter-city bus ticket to the house. On the bus, the LSA happiness started to wear. Not that we weren’t happy still, but the “LSD silliness” began to take over. We sat on the bus just grinning. Then I said to him “Hey, what if we fartled”? “Fartled...?” he inquired. “You know, when you get startled by someone and at the same time you fart.” On the finishing of my sentence the two of us roared into laughter. Just laughing and laughing and laughing at the top of our lungs. On a public bus full of people (no one seemed to hear us though, at least that’s what our friend said). After our little laugh attack (which there was way more to come), we asked our friend how long had we been laughing maniacally. She told us “Uhm, about 20 minutes!” Neither of us could believe it. It really felt like we had been laughing for just 10 seconds.

We got off at the bus stop close to the house. We stopped into McDonalds first though, our “mother” was hungry and we were obedient to our mother, like 2 little babies.  While she was getting food at the counter, me and my friend stared at a marble table. The hallucinations were starting. We both saw kaleidoscope patterns along the marble table. “Cool, can see you it F, can you see it!?” “Yeah man, it’s moving all over the table!” At this point our friend grabbed both our arms, bag of food in mouth and dragged us out (not in an angry way). She told us we literally shouted it and there was 2 men behind us, staring at us. After devouring our burgers, which tasted more amazing than usual, we had our little walk to the house. To get to the house you have to go down this little alleyway in between 2 neighbourhoods. This was fine and all, I was in good company and the house was just 2 minutes walk away. Upon entering the alleyway though everything had a dark feel to it (it was 10pm by this point). The trees begin to get sharper and seemed to be pointing at me. Then I heard this loud metallic scraping, followed by the hissing of a snake. I, without thinking, sprinted to the end of the alleyway. I realized what had happened and laughed it off, I knew it was just the acid beginning to take effect and waited up for my friends.

We finally got to the house, where there was good vibes everywhere. All my friends were there, the atmosphere was good and I was on acid. It really began to take a hold now. I saw kaleidoscopes everywhere. My bodily feelings spiralled out of control. I just wanted to stretch and touch everything, my teeth felt really sharp and kind of sore. My hands numb. I didn’t care, I felt completely at one with the world. I handed my friend his tab of acid. Now there was 3 of us who’d be on acid. Nothing much happened for a while, me and my other tripping friend just enjoyed the patterns everywhere and kept having laugh attacks, which felt amazing by the way. Another friend arrived at the house to pick up his 2 tabs of acid. We offered him to trip with us, but he declined. That’s cool, he’s got things to do and places to be. While we were all having a cigarette in the living room, the friend that arrived began to talk about the acid experience. He was somewhat experienced with it, having taken it 5+ times. He said “When on acid, you’re like a little school child. Anything can you make laugh, take these 2 idiots for example (referring to us)” He began to smile really widely and waved his arms about. Me and my friend exploded into laughter. I just couldn’t help it, he looked so silly. We begged him to do it again and again until he finally said “I’m not gonna be your personal clown for the night! Later guys!” and like that he left.

Our other friend who had taken it began to trip. This is when all of us entered “question mode”. Every little thing, every idea and word, we’d elaborate and question. Having a basic conversation would turn into an elaborate, pseudo-intellectual conversation. An example would be this (each line representing a different person);

“Could you please pass the water? Wait, why don’t I get the water? Why do I even need the water? I’m hydrated and really don’t need any water”

“What do you mean by hydration though? Do you really feel hydrated and don’t need the water, or do you just think it? How can you tell what your body needs? Why am I making decisions for you? Why don’t I just let you get your water?”

“But why do you THINK you know if he’s hydrated or not? What if he really is? Where do you think you know how he feels? Why do I think I know how you think?”

Yes, that whole conversation ensued over me asking if I could get a bottle of water. This was a daily occurrence over the night, over ANYTHING. An apple, a name, what time it is, etc. It was pretty cool, but towards the end of the trip you just wanted to have a normal conversation without turning it into a question everything discussion.

We didn’t do much apart from wonder around the house in amazement and talk (that is, us 3. Our 3 other non-tripping friends stayed in the sitting room). I feel like I should mention my brief bad trip. While my 2 friends wandered upstairs, I looked for a mirror to look into and went into my friends room. A girly room it was. But that didn’t change anything. For some reason, when I stepped into the room, I felt REALLY alone. I just stood at the door, confused. Then the leopard patterns on her bed started turning into the shapes of spiders, her big mirror began to turn into an angry face and an absolute terror overcame me. I was so scared and felt so alone. I ran back to my friends upstairs and told them what happened. Then we had another big discussion about evilness and why the mind manifests these things. Then I wondered why that incident occurred, analyzed it and felt that it was absolutely pointless. However, my friend decided to turn off the light for a second. That was fine, I wasn’t scared anymore. Until he, in the darkness, turned really pale, grew big fang teeth, had red gleaming eyes and his hair turned into a big nest of barbed wire. I got scared again and turned on the light. We analyzed it again and I definitely felt I could take on the dark now. I wanted to get an evil hallucination. We turned the lights off and I looked at my friend. Sadly (or not so sadly) my friend turned into a Chinese man (he’s 100% white) and we all burst into laughter. The period of bad trips is gone I told myself and I smiled.

It was about 3am at this point, the hallucinations began to wear off and I didn’t want to stop tripping. I took another tab and wandered around the house where I met the first friend I tripped with. I told him I took another tab and he said “Uh oh”. I got kind of angry at this and asked why did he said that. He said “Well tomorrow, you’re going to be tripping really hard and no one else will be...”. “Wanker” I thought to myself. “He doesn’t know a fucking thing about LSD, this is his first time doing it. Doesn’t he know that since I didn’t take 2 at the same time I won’t trip THAT hard? Fuck him”. Then I explained to him that I’ll trip in the same way I just did and I’ll be fine. He said “Oh, ok. You’re more experienced with drugs so I’ll take your word”. I calmed down and went upstairs alone to think for myself. I sat down on a friends bed and felt “normal”. Emotionless, I guess. I heard a loud buzzing noise out of nowhere. Then I heard my friends talking, even though everyone was downstairs. Within seconds I felt like everything was caving in on me and evil faces began to appear everywhere. Amongst a bundle of clothes, on an ipod, etc. I ran downstairs back to my friends and sat in silence with them thinking “You’re only happy (can you even say you are?) because you’re with friends. In a few hours most of them are going home and you’ll be alone. You’ll have to go back to your house with your lame housemates and you’re going to freak the fuck out. Oh, and your girlfriend hates you.” I saw evil faces in all objects and began to feel really nervous, until my tripping friend said “Hey, I’m going for a walk. Space seems like it’d be awesome to look at!” I felt happier and comfier, I felt like I could talk to him one on one and I’d be safer. When we went outside, he told me “I’m gonna go get F (our other tripping friend), one sec)”. I told myself, standing outside in the grass completely alone in the dark at 4am, “You’re alone now. Fight your fears” and just like that I felt completely good about myself. To brighten it even more, my friend told me he wanted to take another tab and would buy the last tab off me! I felt great. Now I had money for some grub during the week AND another partner to trip with for the next few hours. Bad trip phase was really over.

After staring and discussing the stars for 40 minutes we all went in. Everyone had went to bed and the first friend I saw began to sober up. He was really tired and hit the hay. I was left alone in the living room with my friend, and both of us began to trip extremely hard from our new tabs. EVERYTHING was changing. The walls were shifting radically, the chandelier was constantly morphing into some psychedelic multi coloured pyramid with an eye on top and when we both looked at each other’s faces for just 2 seconds they would morph radically, REALLY radically. Anything from 8 eyed multi coloured aliens to native Indians to pirates. Typical LSD stuff, but it really is completely mind blowing when you experience it. Could we BE any higher? We laughed about it, and just sat in the living room listening to psychedelic music for 3 hours, chain smoking, enjoying the visual effects. Then the sun came up.

We had an excellent but cliché idea. Let’s go “sun worshipping”. We stepped out into the chill Irish morning air of 8am and stood in complete awe at the sun. Now I’m not really the guy that gets amazed by nature, but this was beautiful. The sun was radiating so many colours. It was purple, with a blue outline, giving out green, red, orange, yellow, pink, every type of colour rays. The clouds were full of colours too. The whole sky just revolved around this huge bright psychedelic sun. I saw faces, animals, people in the clouds. Swirling colours, birds flying and yes, again, this huge bright psychedelic sun. I cannot describe in mere words the stunning beauty of this sun. It is something you must go and see yourself. I think we just sat down and stared at it for 2 hours (then our eyes began to hurt ) and went back inside. The drug started to wear off, we had minor visuals but still had an LSD mindset.

I felt complete, tranquil. I went to an empty room of my friends (gone away for the weekend)  and switched on the laptop. I went onto my facebook for some bizarre reason (not something I’d bother doing on psychedelic drugs) and saw an angry, disappointed comment from my girlfriend. My mind fell apart. I felt angry, confused, and sad. “This is it” I said. “I’m going to solve everything”. I wrote her a huge message, telling her how I’m just a human, I can never be perfect, but despite my flaws I do my best to make her happy and I love her with all my heart. That I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, that relationships are built on mistakes and understanding and I beg her to talk to me. I texted her from my phone telling her to come online to MSN and to check her facebook messages. She did, surprisingly, at 11am. She read my message and felt touched by it. She began to apologize too, saying how she’s sorry for always criticizing me, that she knows I’m just a human, but she just needs some reassurance of my love sometimes. She told me that whenever we argue, she still always loves me and never has doubts about me. She finished it by saying she’ll always protect and defend me.  This made me cry so much.  Knowing I had a partner who’d always be there for me and who will love me. Every little doubt I had, every fear or worry I had, just went out the window. The argument which we were having, which was pretty serious, was just solved in a matter of seconds. Both of us are confident we’ll last as long as physically possible. I really could not be happier with the result. And to think this all happened over the internet!

With that little encounter finished and her gone back to work, I realized I was extremely tired. My head was pounding, my body just exhausted and my eyesight blurry. I was still having small hallucinations, but not really tripping mentally. I remembered I took acid at 7pm yesterday and that it was now 12pm the next day along with the fact I woke up at 8am the previous day. I walked back home, lay down on my bed for and slept for 20 hours. I woke up the next day feeling super content with life. I tackled fear, saw the most amazing sunrise of my life, felt in love with the world and was completely satisfied with my relationship.

LSD is easily my favourite drug now and I really hope to take it again, in higher amounts. This was only 2 tabs spread out over a day! I can only imagine the beauty and wonders my next trip will be like.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88121

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 17

Published: Mar 5, 2012	Views: 27,826

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LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Nature / Outdoors (23), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		 oral
		 Pharms - Alprazolam
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

I talked often to my friend T about my experiences with psychedelics. He had never done any form of hallucinogen before, or really anything besides grass and booze, but one day he showed a sudden spark of interest in my stories of LSD, and agreed to try it himself one day. I was excited and enthused about his sudden willingness, so we set a day and I picked up a handful of good blotters. I tasted the batch on Christmas eve, a few weeks before our trip, I took one dose of the new batch and a dose of a different batch I had left over. I had a nice trip, but I didn't think it was strong enough for me and T's purposes. I proposed we take 2.5 hits for our trip rather then one two. Turns out I under-estimated the new batch.

The day of the trip T had the house to himself with his older sister, who was aware we would be tripping. At around 11 PM I walked to his house with the doses a pipe and about 3 grams of some potent marijuana. I ended up beating him to his house by a few minutes, so his sister let me in. Apon entering his house she let me know her feelings on our tripping. She didn't feel her brother was ready, she felt he could hardly handle weed, but wasn't going to stop him. Told us to be careful.

T came, we instantly popped the tiny squares in our mouths and T's sister came down with a handful of tripping toys. She had a teddy bear, a back massager, and most importantly a special mirror with lights that emulated infinity.

The first hour and a half we spent talking, listening to music and anticipating our trips. Me and T's sister talked about acid tripping, as she was a bit of a acid head herself and answered any questions T had. After this I asked T to join me on a walk around the neighborhood while we waited for the faint physical highs within us to develop. Besides I was full of energy and high strung, as I always was before a significant trip. We set out to look for Christmas lights. So T decided to throw on a big red cape and glasses for the occasion, and we got on boots and hats and set out.

T was laughing and smiling the whole time and kept on saying 'Op, I definently feel it now!' as our physical highs continued to grow. The warm joyous feeling within my stomach was extending itself throughout my body and melting into the familiar feel of the LSD body high. However, I was coming up very slow, so slow in fact I was beginning to worry. It had been two hours neither I nor T had any hallucinations. On our way back into the house we both slipped on a plate of Ice simultaneously and couldn't stop laughing for ten minutes. Then I car whizzed by, wait a sec, I know that car. The car backed up revealing my friend, S, in the drivers seat. S had helped me get the doses I was currently on.

I told him how we had taken the two and a half doses, that it was T's first and that I was seeming to take forever to come up. When I said that he laughed and said, oh don't you worry, just you wait. When he drove off I almost instantly felt the immense increase in my body high just since our walk.

When we reentered T's house I instantly 'felt' the visual part of my trip begin to arise. We went into T's basement which was a chill place, and put on some trippy videos on his computer. Our physical highs were getting overwhelming. We lay on the floor stretched out and stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was beginning its flow. The shadows each piece of ceiling 'bump' cast on the ceiling began the flicker. The flickering began to throb. The throbbing began to trickle. And soon enough my LSD visuals were on, and everything I looked at had the familiar 'melt' and 'flow'. I wanted to make sure T could see his visuals so we went up to a photo and I told him what I saw. It was a photo of some beachgrass on a sandbar in the ocean. I said how I saw each swirl in the sand actually swirl, and every beach grass kind of 'trail off' and illuminate.

We went upstairs and I felt a sudden pang of nausea. I got nervous, this was not the time for an upset stomach. The body high was overwhelming, it felt like my entire soul was being shit in the sun. I suddenly became less social with T, becoming more worried about the vomiting that was soon to occur. Another pang of naseau, and then another pang of something more powerful. A sort of deja vu I've felt on acid many time before, the separation of ego. Me and T were studying the floor and then, pang it was I studying the floor. We were the same. I felt this feeling, its power and I didn't want to go there. It was the feeling I've felt before one of the numerous inward egoless spiritual mind-warps. They were scary, though powerful. I didn't want to go there that night, so I cast the feeling aside. I told T to look in the mirror as its something everyone tripping acid needs to experience, and then I head for a different bathroom myself and puked up my everything in my stomach. It felt like my entire head was exploding, all the blood ran to my head and it felt like dying. But I got through it and instantly felt better after my stomach had been emptied. The puke was black, it swirled and morphed in the toilet. I cleaned up but after I cleaned everything I kept seeing puke on the floor that wasn't there. I looked at my reflection, my face was so red it radiated off of me. Each individual incline of my hair drew a line and lifted off into my peripheral vision.

I went opened the door to find T on the stairs with the trippy mirror toy. I told him I puked and his smile instantly vanished. 'Oh that sucks so much, I'm sorry.' 'Why?' 'You puked up your acid, how will you trip now?' I laughed and told him that all .01% of the acid I ingested had already reached my brain. He laughed and then told me to walk up the stairs, as he had placed the mirror at the top of them. It felt like walking into infinity.

No longer sick and feeling much more relaxed I pulled out a pad of paper and colored pencils and urged T to draw. We spent over an hour drawing. We were tripping hard at this point, and at the time I considered it the peak of my trip, so I thought.

I got more into drawing than I ever had on acid. I finally figured out how to let myself draw on the drug, which was difficult because I practically had to teach myself all over again. I would draw a line and the line would draw a flow, so I would draw the flow and then look at that and see what it wanted to be drawn next. My sub conscious controlled the drawing not me myself. I drew a multi-colored melt of faces and shapes. T drew an abstract rose made from a fractal-like design, I was impressed but he was disappointed.

After drawing, I felt as though I was coming down. My physical had died and my visuals even seemed a little less full. We decided to go on a walk. It was around 4 am, and life outside was dead. T looked depressed, everything was indeed dead as he pointed out. My visuals all of a sudden weren't present at all, in fact I felt as if I had suddenly dropped down a whole lot. I told T we were probably on our come down and that we should go home and smoke some bowls. We did just that and after a few bowls we were both ripped.

The comforting warmth of marijuana re-pumped the physical acid hig through my body, as it did with my visuals. In fact suddenly our trip came out of nothing and seemingly back into full swing. We were ecstatic. We both sat in a haze only marijuana could bring, not talking and simply looking at our visuals and giggling every once and a while. My visuals within the next half hour went from nothing and skyrocketed. The flowers patterned on T's kitchen wall began to grow, I had amazing trails and everything radiated a warm light.

We explored his house, pointing out our visuals which simply popped up everywhere before we ended up sitting at his kicthen again. His sister came downstairs, she had been crying because of a fight she had with her boyfriend, this amplified a kind of paleness in her face that made her appear less human. I had this powerful feeling she was more then human, holy, she illuminated light and her eyes glowed. She brought us some crazy facial creams and chap stick for us. She applied the cream on my face and said 'enjoy!' before walking back upstairs. My face burned like all hell! I started to laugh. 'It freakin burns! It feels like I'm dying!' It was as if she was a God who had bestowed gifts apon us, the moment she said 'enjoy' my feet left contact with the earth and my trip turned on full throttle.The flowers on the kitchen wall grew and melted at the same time, auditory hallucinations of buzzing and sweeping noises echoed around me.

His cat walked by me, it was a white cat, but now it was more of a white orb of light. The cat was also high as balls thanks to a session it had with T's sister. It was tripping out and watching it made me do the same. It had this amazing connection to nature, it was superior to us beings who were only able to simply study its perfectiveness. I was sitting on the couch and it sat accross the room from me. T had moved the glowing trip mirror so it was sitting on a chair directly above sat the cat. The lights in the mirror pulsed on and off, and every time it pulsed the cat became less cat-like. Its fur radiated light and lifted off its back in a 'fetherish' way. Its face was suddenly more human then it was cat. Its body was cartoony but its face was distinct. A womans almost. She stared at me and I stared back, it was connecting with me. The face became more vivid as everything else around it began to melt away, an auditory buzzing was growing. I stared on, incredible power radiating at me, the face was trying to tell me something, it was me and the cat. Everything else was dissolving away, the buzzing became too much. I had to look away. Then the cat left.

We were tripping hard. I looked at T, he was staring at the wall wide-eyed mouth-gaping. I asked him if he was alright and then lay on the couch staring at his wall. There was a brick fireplace, huge pieces of brick were melting off of it. Suddenly it became clear that the cementing between the bricks was more of a rainbow network of pulsing lines. I began to sense a strong visual and physical flow moving through the walls up the couch and up my arm into me. The could feel the flow physically, but also see it in the melting walls. Suddenly I saw blurry sort of random visuals in my peripheral vision moving along the flow. Girls faces? Or was it just colors? Shapes? Balls of color began to move along the flow up into me, they grew more and more visible. The colors morphed into cats, they were multi-colored and running up into me. They were extremely clear to see. Then the cats morphed into arrows pointing along the flow.

I was playing chill music but the song turned to a sort of audio-mixed that hard people talking. I looked to the tv which was off, and in a sort of reflection on the tv sat a man who was sitting and mouthing the words of the audio. I decided it would good to rid of the man and turn on something real.We turned out the lights and put in a nature documentary DVD. It was a special on mountains and all the trees along the sides of the mounts moved around like worms. The DVD was amazing, but surrounding it things were getting a little less cheery. Since we had turned out the lights the visuals in my peripherals stopped showing the flow and instead just kind of projected what I was seeing on tv onto the walls. If you've ever seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, during the scene were Duke trips acid in the hotel room watching news on the vietnam war, the visual was just like that with the tv.

After a while though, I noticed a sort of new visual forming within everything surrounding the tv. The flickering of the tv made  sort of wobbly shadows surrounding it, and the shadows were beginning to take form. I suddenly recognized these forms as being shadow-people. They were people with glowing eyes, thick grins and a sort of 'shadow-like' body the morphed and moved around. They were beginning more and more distinct and soon they had arms that lunged out at me. At first I didn't mind them, but their arms lunging was distracting me from the dvd. Suddenly I wanted them away very badly but they simply would not leave. Everywhere I looked, the shadow was a person with a face and trying to grab me. Sometimes they actually would grab hold of me and I could feel it. I began to grow nervous so I began to meditate. I closed my eyes and they evaporated. I focused and attepmted to clear my mind, I simply could not stop my mind racing, the meditation wasn't working. I opened my eyes and several inches in front of me a shadow person grinned and grabbed my arm. I jumped.

This wasn't my first time in contact with what call the 'crazy eye children'. I had named them the first time I had come in contact with them in a trip of course. That first time I met them in the middle of the woods, they carried spears and surronded me. However that was another trip another story, and I already wrote a report on that one. These shadow-people however seemed much more developed then any other ones I had come in contact with. But more importantly these I could simply not will away.

An hour and a half goes by of constantly having to watch these beings mock and grab at me. I was getting very nervous and restless. I wanted them away. T's sister had left us some xanax to take to knock us out when we wanted to sleep. I took a half one and within half an hour the hallucinations had slightly died but they were still there. I knew my trip was over, I had had a great night, but now all that remained was the leftover mindgame of a tired-out subconscious. It was as if the sub-consciousness got sleepy and decided to give up its creativity in exchange for the repeated hallucination of a group of people in shadows popping out of every wall. I told T it was about time we crash. We had been tripping a solid eight hours, it was six am and we needed sleep. I remember us popping two more xanax. I looked over at him and he was completely knocked out, his eyes even still looked open.

Last thing I remember doing was looking at the wall and finally seeing noone there to laugh at me. I closed my eyes, and then it felt like two minutes before I opened them again. It was 3pm, I was groggy but refreshed and I was full of new energy and spirit. I was very disappointed in myself that I couldn't will the crazy eye children away, but overall I was very happy and satisfied with our trip. Apon waking me and T discussed our wanting to trip again.

I think its important to note that this trip could have taken a totally different route had I continued along the self-introspective trip that I felt coming on early in the trip. I'm glad I didn't go that way as those trips have been the most powerful, significant yet scary moments in my life. I had one a whole few months ago and I still don't feel ready to go there again. Me and T are planning to trip again very soon, and I plan on going the fun 'outer' trip instead of an introspective trip again. It makes for a fun night.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 68354

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 21, 2012	Views: 11,936

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		 DOSE:

		 2 tablets
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   180 lb

I began using LSD in 1970, after a high-school acquaintance introduced me to someone who sold it right on campus. So I bought my first dose of LSD from a fellow student who had “Purple Microdot” stashed in his locker. My first experience with LSD was anticlimactic because I took a very small amount. Using a razor blade, I cut the one tablet I bought roughly in half, and then I halved it again, so that I only ingested about 1/4th of the tablet. I gave a friend a quarter of the tablet as well. He may have gotten more of the drug than I did because I really didn’t experience anything all that remarkable while he seemed to be somewhere in the stratosphere. He couldn’t even talk intelligibly to describe what was happening with him.

The first LSD trip that brought on hallucinations occurred a couple of months later. I had bought a variety of the drug called “Orange Sunshine,” cut it in half and swallowed one of the halves. Within about 45 minutes to an hour, I began to see some incredible things, and I finally understood what people were talking about when they described seeing complex, pulsating geometric designs in bright day-glow colors and so forth. That evening, when I looked at the random designs painted on the ceiling of my bedroom, the textures in the paint began to form into very ornate geometric patterns that appeared to be 3-dimensional and swirling slowly into circles and vortexes. I saw very similar designs in my mind when I closed my eyes, except the colors were starker and more vibrant. The trip lasted about 6 hours, and I never left my bedroom. I just listened to music and watched the swirling, pulsating patterns and vibrant colors unfolding in my mind. And I saw some astounding things with my eyes closed before it was over.

I enjoyed this experience immensely because I had never seen anything so beautiful and wondrous as the visions my imagination poured forth, so I began “experimenting” with LSD more frequently. I began to take a whole tablet at one time to ratchet up the intensity of the trip, and I began to love the LSD experience and look forward to repeating it whenever I was able to “score” the drug from someone selling it in my neighborhood. I thought the LSD experience was incredibly profound, even though I was a naive teenager who didn't know much about the world, and eventually I lost my sense of caution about the possible effects of an overdose. I began to think that if one tablet brought on a really beautiful trip, taking two tablets at a time would give me an even more fantastic trip. Big mistake!

I bought several tablets of Orange Sunshine from a friend who had gotten it in California, and one sunny Saturday afternoon, I swallowed two tablets and waited for the light show in my head to begin. About 45 minutes later, I was feeling the first effects of the drug, so I put on an album by the Jefferson Airplane and lay down on my bed, closing my eyes to see what would appear in my mind. By this time I was beginning to see colors and starkly beautiful geometric shapes and patterns with my eyes closed, more intense and beautiful than ever before.

My visions seemed to react to the sound of the music I was listening to. Each instrument being played on the album caused a pattern and color that corresponded to that specific sound. The bass created deeper, darker colors, and the sound of the guitar brought forth “warmer” colors like red and orange.

After a while – I don’t know how long – the music began to sound warped and somehow a little ominous, so I got up and went into the living room. By this time, however, some extremely intense hallucinations were beginning to form all around me, and I realized, with more than a little anxiety, that the LSD was affecting me more than I had expected.

I turned on the television set, and on one of the channels was a narrator or emcee, looking straight at the camera and talking to the viewing audience. All of a sudden I had the impression that he was looking straight at me and talking to me personally, as if he knew I was watching the program and was not just part of a random, anonymous viewing public. He was directing his remarks to me specifically. Then I realized that this was an irrational thought, and that scared me because I wasn’t just having incredible hallucinations but was beginning to think in a weird way – to be prone to believing things that were impossible if looked at logically.

The loss of control over my mind was alarming. It evoked an emotional response that seemed to intensify the garish colors and designs, which by this time were totally animated and looping around the living room in an ominous, threatening way. That scared the hell out of me, so I went outside, hoping to escape the hallucinations in the bright sunlight. It didn’t help.

What I saw outside was a completely chaotic scene, with animated designs and geometric shapes bouncing all around,floating on lawns, drooping from trees and hovering above the asphalt street while moving in spirals. Real objects such as the cars on the street looked distorted and warped.

At that point I thought I was losing my mind, in which case I would have to be institutionalized for the rest of my life because I was never going to be sane and rational again. I felt a tremendous sense of grief over what I had inadvertently done to myself, and I began crying as I paced up and down the street, trying to calm down and keep it together. One of my neighbors was outside, and he saw I was in an agitated state. I managed to tell him what was happening, and he drove me to one of the drug treatment centers that existed in Phoenix at the time.

The drive seemed to take forever, even though it probably only took about 20 minutes in reality because the center was not that far from my neighborhood. When we finally arrived there, several young men with long hair were sitting on a stoop outside. My neighbor turned to me and said something like, “Goddamned Hippies, they ought to open up a hunting season on them, just like quail.”

I immediatly came to believe that this drug treatment center was really a front for distributing drugs, and I was more than a little paranoid about going inside. A couple of the young men sitting outside saw me as I got out of my neighbor's car, and they seemed to know what was the matter with me. In fact, I assumed they knew I was high on LSD by the way they looked at me.

I was escorted into one of the rooms, a place with oriental rugs on the floor - kind of a dark space that was meant to be peaceful and relaxing to people who were as stressed out as I was at the time. Two of the volunteer counselors in this room tried to make small talk with me by asking me my name, what I did for a living, whether I was still in high school, etc. I couldn’t answer them because I was having a great deal of difficulty forming words and holding onto them long enough to keep a rational train of thought and engage in a normal conversation.

Though this place was supposed to be a place where I could get some help, it appeared menacing to me, and I wondered what these people talking to me had up their sleeve. I didn’t trust them to help me. And I could hardly tell them what was going on inside my head, so I sat in silence and just observed people coming and going on the other side of the room, wondering if they were high on LSD lie I was. I must have sat there like that for a couple of hours. In the meantime, the frightening and garish hallucinations began to subside and grow fainter. I felt a tremendous sense of relief because I then realized that I wouldn’t be insane the rest of my life. I was going to be OK. I felt like crying for joy.

After a few more hours I was calmed down and rational enough to realize my parents would be looking for me, so I decided to walk home. I must have taken my shoes off at one point, though I didn’t remember doing it, because I couldn’t find them and had to walk home barefooted, The counselors wanted me to stay a while, but I assured them I was down from the peak of the trip and that I could make it home safely.

It was a truly terrifying experience, the most panic I had ever felt in my life, I was shaken and exhausted when it was all over, but incredibly relieved to be back on planet earth where I belonged. You would think that would be the end of my LSD use, but I eventually began using it again after my fear of repeating the bad trip had subsided. I rationalized it and thought the bad trip was an overdose that I could avoid repeating if I again used more caution.

I never again tried taking a large dose all at once. I didn’t want to repeat the experience, so I took smaller amounts of LSD, and those trips were relatively uneventful though quite colorful and thought provoking. I finally quit taking LSD altogether because it lost its allure. Each trip was so similar to the ones I had experienced before that the novelty wore off. The last time I used LSD was about 27 years ago, but my memory of the bad trip remains clear. I will never forget that night.

Exp Year: 1970	ExpID: 66222

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Apr 4, 2012	Views: 28,043

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