		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 85 ug
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 7:00

		 oral
		 Coffee
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 10:00
		 2 glasses
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   74 kg

This is the first trip report that I am writing. To start with I would like to give a bit of a background. I am 36 years old and have had quite some experience with cannabis and well of course alcohol. I was planning to take acid once before I turn 40 years and had that in mind for a long time. I always wanted to wait for the right moment and this year on my 36th birthday I decided that I feel grounded, stable and safe in my own personality that I was sure that I could handle this powerful substance.

I feel grounded, stable and safe in my own personality that I was sure that I could handle this powerful substance.

 I have a long-term history of meditation, mindfulness and bodywork practice that I knew would help me. During meditation I experienced all kind of altered states so I had a certain confidence that I could handle the situation.

T+0

I planned my trip with a very good friend of mine that I share a lot of deep talk with over important philosophical and psychological topics that relate to us as society and humans. He came over to my house on Friday midday. I had arranged a place for him to sleep later on and had pre-cooked a light dinner that we could just reheat. Also we had prepared a few easy things to eat like fruits, nuts, chocolate, juice and Moroccan mint tea, all to bring to a remote city park with a bit of a wild patch nearby my house. We diluted the tabs (roughly 170 mcg in total) in distilled water and drank each the half of it with a syringe. I thought that in between 80-90 mcg would be a great dose for a beginner. My friend had tripped already a few times before that. We got the LSD from a friend of my friend who is a dealer also and provided us with some very fresh acid. The blotter was just prepared a couple of days earlier and we stored the tabs in the fridge. We kicked at 1:00pm.

T+1

On the way to the park, that was half an hour walk through the neighbourhood, I started to feel a bit of the onset already. The first moment I recognized something was a child on a swing. There was something weird going on, hard to describe but it seemed as if the swing would have been pinned down whilst in the air.  As if painted. We walked further and arrived at the park. As we didn’t feel like stopping to move already we walked through a little forest bit for a moment. I started to realize that my body feels different. As I was walking my body was feeling lighter and lighter and I could sense that I started to look at the trees and was fascinated by the structures. My friend and I laughed a lot about faces and grimaces that we could see the tree trunks. We walked further and I started to feel a bit disoriented, I think we started to walk in circles a bit as there was a guy that had crossed our way three times, we joked about how he is doing that thing with the teleportation. My body proportions started to feel different. It felt my arms and legs would extend and shrink and if my body could morph and change its shape. At one point we sat down on a bench, because our legs started to feel heavy and tired. We started to walk like two old men. At the point the first visuals started to kick in and the ground was breathing and bending slightly.

T+2

We decided that we want an open green space and went to that bit of the park where there is a huge meadow that looked like a prairie with little crests and trees. The walk over seemed like a whole journey. My body at this point started to feel entirely different and I could sense the edges around my body sensations dissolving into the space around me. We sat down under a nice tree and spread our blanket and started to listen to some nice trippy music. I remember when I first lay down and stared into the sun-filled clouds they started to dance. I could see at least four to six different layers to the cloud which looked hyper-real as if I could immediately touch or feel them. At one point there was something that I can only describe as a thunder inside of me: A deep sensation like someone hitting a huge gong next to my chest. An earthquake to my consciousness. It seemed to have to do with the epic clouds over us. It felt like something enormous was going on. Life was getting at me with all its beauty. I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. In the meanwhile it was all too precious to believe that I usually oversee all of that in my everyday life. In the meanwhile my friend was fascinated by a peach that he brought. He was touching and massaging the peach and staring at it with amazement. He handed me the peach, I looked at its surface and it was like staring into cosmic glass sphere. The peach became the universe itself, it contained everything and yet was contained by everything, pretty difficult to explain with words. I guess that’s what fractals mean, you zoom in, but if you zoom in deep enough you return to the point where you started. We couldn’t stop giggling like little children. It was beautiful.

T+3

The visuals started to get stronger and stronger, if I would rest my eyes on the other side of the park, the lawn started to create ripples and horizontally and at the same time started to zoom in and out constantly. The interesting part was, the second I used my will power to concentrate I could still have formal-logical thinking. At one point a girl came around and asked for directions and I was amazed how easily I could still focus on that. I started to be flooded by deep feelings of love, for myself, my friend, the people around me and all of existence, I could sense that my ego was something I could let go of but I felt I would only allow that to a certain extend. I can imagine on higher doses (&gt; 150 mcg) you don’t have that choice anymore. We were lying there in the park, as if it was Garden Eden. Life seemed so abundant. Time had kind of lost its use and I was very grateful for my life. There was a deep trust that everything is fine as it is and that this process of constant creation of the universe will never end. That gave me a certain peace. My breathing felt so amazing. I let my belly pop out entirely. I realized how much I keep it in. I’m quite slim, so there are no aesthetic reasons behind that, I just realized I keep it in because of shame in my everyday life.

My breathing felt so amazing. I let my belly pop out entirely. I realized how much I keep it in. I’m quite slim, so there are no aesthetic reasons behind that, I just realized I keep it in because of shame in my everyday life.

 I allowed it to pop out like a melon. Such a liberation. My breathing felt as if a whole galaxy of things being created while inhaling and letting go and dissolve again while exhaling. At this point my feeling of love and grace just flooded me and I thought: “If I can only take a bit from that in my day to day I will leave this trip as a rich man”.

T+4

At one point there started to be waves of intensity, shocking and rippling through me. I felt I’m wired into reality. I can never escape life, that I am embedded in this universe and that my usual sense of separation is on a different level of consciousness just a delusion. I realized how much and instantly I was actually touched by everything that happens around me. A dog passing by and me just absorbing its friendly and joyous vibes that it radiated, the sadness when he left and the acceptance that there will be something new arriving on my horizon of manifestation. In between it felt like too much to take, but deep breathing helped a lot to clear and let go. I had a few moments only during the peak where I felt like: “What’s happening if this never ends?”. From everything that I have read I decided that I don’t want to go down that road and that worked very well. I thought: “Wow! Life is really what you make out of it”. As a thought it doesn’t seem very deep, but all of those experiences felt like an irrefutable truth to me at the time.

T+5

I looked at my skin and I could see so many layers of tissue that I have never seen before. Over my skin there was shimmer and movement going on that looked like life energy flowing over me. The animal, vital side of me became so pronounced. I could feel life deep inside of my core and spend some time with closed eyes. The music just bounced inside of fractal structures morphing to the sound of the music. Little nuances in the music immediately changed the structures inside my mind. At times it felt as if the music was poking and teasing my cortex. My brain felt like sparkling fireworks. Me and my friend would hold our hands close to each others like maybe ten centimetres apart and it seemed as if I could let my energy system and his interact with one another. I am a very skeptical person with a big scientific mind but under the influence of the acid I felt as if reincarnation, chakras, etc. would be no esoteric gibber, it seemed as if those are real structures of life.

I am a very skeptical person with a big scientific mind but under the influence of the acid I felt as if reincarnation, chakras, etc. would be no esoteric gibber, it seemed as if those are real structures of life.

 At one point the wavy movement turned its direction. I remember the first moment of soberness, that felt like falling into a pit, only to be picked up again by another smaller wave. I could sense we were on the decline again.

T+6

My friend and I started to be able to speak again more. It was not that we couldn’t have talked, it would have still been possible at all times, it was just that it felt that by trying to really put those experiences into words we would diminish them. Formal-logical thinking seemed from this position as an anchor to the reality as I know it, but I could also see how limiting, yet necessary it is for the society and structures have had build. After some writing and sketching and slowly coming back, my friend and I decided that we started to be really hungry. We packed our things and went back to my apartment. The idea of a crowded street seemed to be manageable again.

T+7

The food just tasted so nice. My apartment looked weird to me, I could sense the artificial character of civilization. My friend and I agreed on going outside again afterwards. We had dinner, shared a coffee, which felt warming and nice and very activating.

T+8/9

We spend more time in the park. We played some Frisbee and then lay down on the lawn to enjoy the warm rest of the evening, drinking a bottle of beer, sharing experiences and connecting. I could sense how my usual concepts and the perception of the world was constantly fading back to the so called “normal”.

T+10-14

We went back to the apartment, cleaned a bit the mess we had left behind, sat down for the second round of dinner and shared a good conversation over one or two glasses of wine. We had a shower each and at around 2:30am we went to bed and could fall asleep.

Résumé:

I am very pleased with my experience. I think it was the perfect dose for a first trip and I could sense that I am a stable personality and that there is no reason to not trust my stability. The whole trip felt like a huge solid mountain range with little to no sharp chasm to fall into. I can feel though that it was a lot and what remains most is this initial feeling of thunder in my chest that I still carry a day afterwards. If I can take from this trip more peace and ease to trust into myself and life that would be just very beautiful. I am very grateful for my friend being there, I could have not had a better trip partner. I would like to take acid again, this time maybe a full 100mcg and then eventually 150mcg. But I have time for that. No rush.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114573

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 36

Published: Jul 12, 2020	Views: 4,057

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 MDMA

		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   175 lb

Most people report the candyflip (LSD + MDMA) combination to be a very enjoyable experience. The most rewardingly 'cosmic' aspects of the LSD are combined with the empathogenic 'love' of the MDMA to create a unique and often powerful experience. This is usually the case with me as well, provided I take a low dose of LSD with a regular dose of MDMA (i.e. too much LSD can blow the MDMA out of the water, which is a damn waste of MDMA).

However, I feel obliged to report one very negative experience I had during a candyflip many years ago, when I was still living in Cedar Falls, Iowa. This report mainly serves to underscore the importance of set and setting, but also stands as a reminder that, as Alexander Shulgin says, there are no insignificant psychedelic experiences, meaning caution is always a great policy.

I was hoping to do a rather deep exploration that night, and had invited my good friend H over to sit for me. His instructions were to sit quietly in the same room as me and intercede only if I really encountered problems. I felt this was a reasonable precaution because this was only my second candyflip, and I was still at that time relatively inexperienced with both LSD and MDMA. I didn't expect trouble, as I was feeling good and confident about myself at the time, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to have H around - someone who knew me very well and could handle me if I got into a bad space.

At the time, I was writing a book called 'Melody's Blues', and felt pretty involved with some of the characters, to the extent that my psychedelic trips often featured interactions with versions of these characters. I laid down on the floor under a nice blanket, on top of some cushions, underneath a blindfold, and proceeded to go 'way way out there, man,' and suddenly found myself sharing a psychedelic bubble of spacetime with Melody, the main character in the book. This was not in itself cause for alarm, but before long, things got incredibly dark and incredibly weird inside my head. The sensation was of being suddenly and vigorously pursued by vast collections of entities that were very specifically bent on doing us grievous harm. We fled through psychedelic corridors and churning maelstroms of energy, and the terror in me gradually increased over the course of what I'm guessing was a half an hour, maybe more. The intensity continued to build, and it seemed extremely relentless; I could feel them shrieking as they chased us, these horrible 'alien' monsters. I had never encountered such mayhem before, and was frightened beyond belief.

At some point, it somehow finally occurred to me to rip the blindfold off and sit up. The room was just as I left it, if covered with a few more multi-colored swirls than usual. I immediately turned to H, who was staring intently at me. I said, 'What the hell is going on?' He replied, 'You ingested LSD and MDMA, and you've been candyflipping for an hour and a half or so.' And then, he fell silent, and suddenly I heard for the first time the sounds coming from the apartment next door. My neighbors had been having a horrendous, extremely loud fight, and the screams were clearly audible through the wall. These sounds had very obviously penetrated my trip, but I hadn't given any external signs that I was in trouble, so H had chosen not to intervene. The aggression from next door was as much a part of my set and setting as my preparation and intention, and had pretty much steered my trip.

We waited a long time, H and I, until the sounds finally died down. I was very shaken by my exposure to such violent energy, and wasn't sure how to proceed. Eventually I put on some incredibly soothing music, and laid back down, and within minutes was sucked back into a very peaceful and magical place, about which I have written elsewhere...

Exp Year: 1992	ExpID: 2008

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 21, 2000	Views: 138,344

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 175 ug
		 oral
		 LSD

		 225 mg
		 oral
		 Mescaline

Recently the great spirit has blessed me with the opportunity to begin working with what has quickly become my most special entheogenic ally - mescaline sulfate. My first two experiences (at 400 and 500 mg. respectively) with this material have easily surpassed my experiences with the other “traditional” psychedelics. As opposed to LSD, it is much gentler, more lucid, and euphoric, without the abrasive psychoanalytical edge that often irritates me on high dose acid trips. And I find its energizing qualities preferable to the drowsy, dreamy trance I usually experience with the mushroom. I would also like to stress that this is far and away the most healing entheogen that I have ever encountered, both physically and psychologically. One hour into my first journey, it was inescapably clear to me why the Indians say that Peyote is first and foremost a medicine before all else. I emerged from both trips feeling as though I had productively worked through a substantial amount of psychodynamic baggage and physically rejuvenated to boot!

In any event, after those trips I was inspired to start learning as much as I could about my newfound ally. In the impressively thorough San Pedro Fanatic FAQ I read that LSD and mescaline could be combined to yield a trip that was longer lasting and smoother than either alone. When I recently came across a hit of fresh, relatively potent (~150-200 mcg) acid, I decided to test this hypothesis, hoping the LSD would function as an amplifier, allowing one to get more mileage out of the frustratingly rare, delicate, needle-like crystals of mescaline. As it turned out, I was in no way disappointed. At approximately 9pm on the designated evening, I consumed the LSD and 225 mg of mescaline simultaneously. Initial effects were felt at the forty-five minute point, building to a plateau around the fourth hour, with residual effects persisting well into the following afternoon. My theory about the LSD acting essentially as a potentiator turned out to be correct; the mescaline’s warm, earthy signature was dominant throughout, while the experience felt subjectively stronger than my previous mescaline-only trip at 500 mg.

At the peak of this journey I had a totally paradigm-shattering experience that I am at a loss to interpret even still, several days afterwards. I was lying on my bed, incense and ceremonial candles alight, meditating. The air seemed to grow somehow thick, as though pregnant with energy, like a thundercloud about to burst. My visual acuity seemed to sharpen at the same time, as I looked at my hand and began to be able to make out tiny iridescent curlicues that were superimposed as if upon a clear scrim on top of everything that I saw. Then automatically, as if by instinct, I began to manipulate my eye muscles in a manner very similar to the technique used to view those “magic eye” 3-D images, where you un-focus your eyes and attempt to look through the gibberish image to see the real picture. When I did this, the curlicues suddenly sprang into strong three-dimensional relief, and were revealed to be translucent, iridescent tentacles or tendrils of some sort that looked like they were formed out of ectoplasm. The room was electric with a sense of presence, and I followed the line of these tendrils away from my hand to their source. I was utterly unprepared for what I saw when I did so...

Floating in the corner of my room was an enormous, shimmering, translucent, opalescent, octopoid/jellyfish-like creature from which the tentacles protruded! My initial reaction was one of disbelief mixed with a substantial degree of fear. However, the thing immediately began to caress me with its tendrils as if to reassure me, and my apprehension completely melted away. Amazingly, I actually perceived a gentle, soothing pressure against my skin as it caressed me like a child! As it touched me I felt its consciousness partially merge with mine, and I was then flooded with a sense of love unlike anything I have ever experienced before or even imagined to be possible. Comparing any experience of transcendence that I had previously had to this is like trying to compare a candle to the sun. I had the sense that this was a guardian angel or something similar who was always with me, watching over me, and it was absolutely overjoyed that I could finally perceive and communicate with it directly. I was so moved by this that I wept openly with joy for a large portion of the time. I lay there soaking up its affection for nearly half an hour before it eventually vanished. The trip began to gradually, gently decline shortly afterwards.

Today as I sit here writing this, I am still as stunned and amazed by this as I was then. I have had plenty of entity contacts in the disembodied domain of DMT, but this thing tangibly coexisted in the same physical spacetime matrix as my body and the rest of consensus reality, which is a new one on me! I am really baffled as to how to interpret and integrate this. Input from anyone who may have had similar experiences would be gratefully welcomed.

Exp Year: 1997	ExpID: 2013

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 21, 2000	Views: 181,783

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Mescaline (36), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

I took LSD at least 100 times between 1968-1972.  Generally I approached it as a scientific experiment rather than a 'party drug'.

Thirty years later, those experiences stand out as some of the most remarkable of my life, although I am convinced that the benefits are NOT cumulative.  That is, I probably derived no more benefit from doing it 100 times than if I had only done it 5 times.  Perhaps even once was enough.

I was always left with the nagging feeling that I had come very close to grasping some ultimate truth, but I was never quite satisfied that I had really gotten there.  Hence the need to go back to it over and over again.

Aside from discovering (or not) any ultimate truths, I certainly became aware of, and awed by, the incredibly intricate workings of the mind.  It was truly fascinating to watch my mind working on many levels at the same time, creating all sorts of curious realities and unusual interpretations.

And therein lies the sleeping tiger of LSD.  New interpretations of reality come flying from every direction, and not all of them are warm and cozy.  When the world of all possibilities is unleashed it can get extremely frightening.

So even though I would make careful preparations to ensure positive LSD experiences (and in fact they WERE positive for the most part), there were more than a few times that it became paralyzingly clear that I was not in control of anything that was happening.  In those situations one hopes to just 'go with the flow', but that can be easier said than done.

Exp Year: 1969	ExpID: 4953

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 1, 2001	Views: 109,295

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LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), Addiction &amp; Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

I saw the film american beauty tonight. The 'moral' made so much sense to me because of how my acid trip on the fourth of july congealed meanings and existences for me. To say that everything is 'okay' would be both understatement and would not do justice to the calm and comfort with existence that I felt. The main character exhibited these features and the plastic bag dancing in the wind showed me that I am not insane for finding mundane, inconsequential things like that gorgeous.

I have faith vested in some overarching concept that includes humans, but I cannot say what. It is larger, but not gigantic--infinitesimal but not insignificant. I have trouble calling it a thing, because this tends to imply that there is something to be learned or understood about it. I personally feel that on some level, all humans understand it but that some tap into this understanding with more ease than others. To call it god would not do it justice, due to the social meanings applied to that word. To personify it would be fruitless, for it encompasses all of humanity, life and existence and holds within it all human experience--that which has happened, that which is happening, and that which is going to happen, all encoded in some vast fullness.

When I had my first trip july fourth, I felt like I had tapped into this 'collective consciousness'. It was very good acid according to those whom I knew there who had experience with the substance. It was on a roof of an apartment building in the city and we were waiting for the fireworks to begin. A few hours before, I knew that I would have an opportunity to take some 'mind-expanding' substances, but I didn't know specifically what. I decided to try LSD because I knew quite a bit about its history, and that set and setting factored heavily into the experience. I felt that this setting was good even though i was in an unfamiliar place because I was with two friends whom I trust on a very fundamental level. I also wasn't taking any medications or the like at that time. There were quite a few people there that I didn't know at all, but this didn't bother me at all. I took two tabs about forty-five minutes before the fireworks started--the tabs were basically white construction paper, no patterns or designs. Fifteen minutes before the fireworks, I took one hit from a joint. I will discuss the connection to weed a bit more below.

About five minutes into the fireworks I started to feel something and started to really get into the experience of watching the fireworks--the lines of smoke, the bursts, the classical music drifting up from somewhere below and in front of us. I remember some acquaintances calling out the element that made that particular firework that color. I remember feeling the acid hit me hard when one kid said 'oh, and that's magnesium'. The experience soon morphed into a belief that what I was experiencing was a sort of limbo from which all people's lives emanated. Limbo was sitting on a roof watching fireworks and listening to classical music. And it would just keep going until you went down to get a glass of water (one existence or life), went to the side to make out (another existence), but you would always come back to watching fireworks and listening to classical music, which was a very pleasing and unthreatening experience.

As the trip progressed, sounds and meanings of words started to phase. They went out of sync and, due to phase cancellation their 'true' meanings and sounds were revealed. (This phenomenon is not unlike the audio equivalent of phasing--check out Steve Reich's early works with tape loops: 'It's Gonna Rain' and 'Come Out'). What I mean by 'true' is not equivalent to 'inherent', but more so what I perceived to be the truth for the portion of humans that I know. This phasing continued while I slowly leaned back and closed my eyes. Apparently I was rolling around on the roof mumbling incoherently, but I was having an amazing experience. I only harbor a little regret for not having seen any visual hallucinations, but I am not a very visual person compared to some. Still, even without visuals, this shit was tweaking/repeating/phasing audio and then progressed to tweaking existential meaning in the same way.

What happened while I was lying down with my eyes shut, or 'under', is difficult to explain. I felt like I was connecting to all and everything--going out in all directions while simultaneously delving inward. I experienced utter ego surrender--I knew that I had a prior existence as 'me', but since I had this knowledge of the interconnectedness of all things, I felt safe, secure and comfortable in being a part of that and moving with its ebb and flow. Whether or not I came back to the reality I knew as 'me' was not an issue. I knew that my life was 'right', including all the 'bad' shit. While 'under', I understood the meanings of all the 'evil' and wrongs that exist(ed)/will exist and that they came as a package deal with existence. I understand evil's place, in a sense. It is possible that I understood that good vs. bad/evil is an extremely subjective thing, even if those definitions are accepted throughout the society.  Also, that which one finds to be bad or evil could be considered to be a comparative thing that helps one see, appreciate and enjoy what one perceives as 'good'.

The trip was getting molecular (approx. two hours after I had taken the tabs and about an hour into the trip) and in doing so, it made me realize how the interconnectedness was also on a molecular level and emanated in all directions. This was definitely the peak of the experience, and it included utter ego surrender. There was an overarching mental image that was similar to others' description of the 'kaleidoscope' effect that somehow incorporated a profile of my head with spherical molecular structures intertwining--not unlike the type of molecular structures pictured on Erowid. My body also was incorporated into this phasing, kaleidoscopic image. I remember feeling my entire body being washed with waves of warmth and pleasure.

The 'come down' from the peak (about two hours into the trip) was fascinating-just as something coming back into phase with something else, reality slowly phased back into itself, and I raised my upper body, saw one of the friends I had come there with who was sitting next to me, and muttered, with awe, 'whoa'. There was a slight breeze, and John Lennon's song 'imagine' that had been playing through the speakers on the roof was ending at about this time: 'and the world shall live as one...' this fragment repeated in my head and created some gorgeous textures. Repetition was a huge factor in my trip-a type of repetition that was slightly different in feel and scope with each supposed repetition, thus making for a feeling of constancy, but coupled with progression and a sort of evolution. After I came out of being 'under'--probably a little less than three hours after I started tripping--I was only a little bit disoriented, but I felt relatively 'normal', barring a sore jaw and an awareness of my tingling nervous system. I had no more hallucinatory effects from the LSD, but I couldn't sleep one bit that night.

I now share this comfort with and understanding of all aspects of existence with the main character of 'american beauty' and I share wonderment with the character 'Ricky' in things usually found to be odd. In the movie, the man's face at the moment of his own death was one of contentment. I understood. Ricky did too. I think this may have had something to do with the ego surrender and the trust in the larger collective consciousness.

Back to the pot. Having smoked a little weed before the acid hit me did some interesting things. For the first few times that I smoked pot afterwards (we're talking weeks after, not hours or days), I became extremely aware of my nervous system and could feel the impulses speeding along the nerves sending signals to my brain through my spinal cord. This feeling eventually subsided, but it was something I was really grateful for because it made me aware of my body. I recently had a minor flashback from smoking quite a bit of weed that involved racing christmas lights and a spherical reflective surface. These combined to produce trails that circled the room with the lights and a wonderful reflection of those same trails in the extinguished ceiling light.

If you feel uncomfortable about the idea of ego surrender, then LSD might not be for you. That's cool, because William S. Burroughs himself said that drugs are a means to different levels of consciousness, but they shouldn't be solely depended upon, because they aren't the only means to attain mind expansion. Personally, I probably won't do acid again for quite a while, because I feel like I learned so much and can learn so much more from this trip that I'm going to need a bit more time to sort everything out. The most central thing I learned to be true for me was that all people experience some sort of hope, comfort, or contentment during their life, even for a millisecond. And in that millisecond, according to my trip, there is a complete lifetime.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 93

Gender: Not Specified

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 27, 2001	Views: 76,739

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 4:15
		 2 lines
		 insufflated
		 Ketamine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 6:00
		 25 mg

		 DPT

		   T+ 8:00

		 GHB

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   170 lb

* June 4, 1989 - Beijing, China: Many students are killed by government

  troops while protesting for democratic reforms in Tiananmen Square.

* June 4, 1989 - Washington, DC suburbs: Through a a series of

  coincidences, I ran across a little square of white blotter paper

  containing a sample of Hofmann's magical elixir, and so have my first

  trip.

* June 4, 1999 - Beijing, China: Soldiers raised the Chinese flag over

  Tiananmen Square in Beijing, as China tried to ignore the anniversary of

  the student democracy movement there a decade ago.

* June 4, 1999 - Washington, DC suburbs: Unlike in China, June 4 is an

  anniversary full of joy for me, and one which I celebrated quite fully

  this year, as is fitting for 10 years...

        Ahh yes... my 10th rebirthday! This is one that I won't soon

forget. I hadn't had LSD in a pretty long time... about 15 months since my

last mild experience, and around 2 years since my last full blown LSD

experience, which had been a little on the rough side. I've been exploring

other entheogens quite thoroughly in this time, but I stayed away from LSD

for a variety of reasons.

        With my 10th rebirthday approaching, however, I decided it was

time for a reunion. I obtained a hit of green geltab acid, and set it

aside for the upcoming anniversary.

        June 4th finally came, and I felt that old familiar nervous

anticipation rising in me. Acid! My first and most familiar ally... I

found myself incredibly nervous, which struck me as silly. I've done this

countless times. I've done crazy shit like ayahuasca. Why is a little hit

of acid causing so much tension? I guessed just because it had been so

long. I decided on 11PM for take-off.

        Around 10:15, I decided to go on my regular internet chatroom to

relax and smoke some cannabis before take-off. I go on there and find one

person taking AMT, one person taking DPT, one person taking AMT with

mushrooms, one taking DPT with ketamine, someone else taking LSD, and a

few other assorted trippers. Surprise, it looks like the universe decided

to throw me a spontaneous rebirthday virtual-party! Well, alright then!

        I placed the sacrament at the foot of my Buddha carving, and lit a

stick of incense. I reflected upon all that I had been through with LSD

over the last 10 years, and all the wonderful things I have learned from

it. 11PM, down the hatch! Well, like I said 10 years ago, theres no

turning back now!

        I felt a strong alert by 11:15PM, and knew I was going to be in

for a wild ride. I was also overcome by a strong wave of nostalgia about

LSD. I put on headphones and listened to Moody Blues, broke out a folder

of my old LSD-influenced drawings, and began reminiscing. I read old LSD

reports of mine (unfortunately, I've only made a few of them). I thought

about how different of a world it was when I first fell through the rabbit

hole. There was still a Soviet Union. The Internet was still not much more

beyond the wet dreams of a few visionary geeks. Someone reminded me that

the Tiananmen Square massacre happened the same day. 10 years. Wow...

        Around 12:15, I wasn't tripping unusually hard, I was at a Plus 2

on the Shulgin scale. I started to get worried that I wouldn't trip any

harder. By 12:30-12:45, however, I realized that I was about to trip quite

a bit harder. I went to lay down just as I found myself hurled into an

amazing Plus 4. I remembered how much I loved LSD right then, and wondered

why I had let it go so long.

        The peak was spectacular. I was laying in bed in a dark room, the

best way to experience acid I think, and the closed-eye visuals were

mindblowing. At the same time, I felt that high-speed LSD consciousness

train blasting through my skull. The visuals and thoughts were very much

in sync. I thought about many things... how much I had missed acid, how

much I had learned from it over the years... and then into reflections on

my life. Realization that this was my first acid trip as a non-smoker,

which struck me as being an important milestone. After a little while, I

stopped thinking *about* anything and I became just a process of

abstract thinking, accompanied by the fantastic acid visualscapes of the

disembodied eye state. I experienced strange temporal distortions, had

visions of the LSD 'spirit' appearing to me as a yound woman dressed in

white muslin, saw both the dark and the light sides of acid as a sort of

'This Is Your Life' nostalgia session. I had a particularly amusing vision

of people putting tabs of acid to their tongues and immediately sprouting

wings from their mouths and flying off to the 'real' world (a la 'The

Matrix', sort of).

        Sometime during the height of the peak, around 1-1:30AM I would

estimate, I had a very strange experience. I had the sensation that I was

somehow communicating with an entity - which I soon realized was Becky.

This had a strange feeling of being real... some sort of telepathic link.

I found myself talking to her soundlessly in some sort of impossible

space, and rapidly became confused as to which one of us was who. 'Whats

happening?' I felt her think... and I thought back 'I don't know, I just

think our realities are overlapping...we'll just have to ride it out.' I

felt a strong feeling of caring, and soon after, it was as if we zoomed

apart at hundreds of miles per hour and the contact was broken. The

strange thing is that the next morning when I spoke with her, she asked

'So, did you feel us talking about you last night?'

        Around 3-3:30AM, things leveled off enough that I was able to move

around. I returned to the internet chatroom, and soon someone convinced me

to try a little ketamine, saying that the combination was amazing. I cut

some out into two large lines, returned to my bedroom, snorted the

ketamine, and lay down. I waited. I got a strange visual effect where

everything began to 'melt' somewhat - the effect is similar to what would

happen if you sprayed water on a watercolor painting. This only lasted a

short while. I felt a mild increase in the trip's 'weirdness' factor, but

overall it seemed to make no real big difference to the character of the

trip - I think I was already too far out for it to have any effect. I

wasn't very disappointed, not being very fond of ketamine to begin with.

        I got back on the chatroom and had a great time talking about

tripping with everyone for a while. Around 5AM, I decided to take a little

bit of DPT to boost myself back up a little. It added a little vibrational

signature to the trip, and brought back some intensity, but didn't add a

whole lot to the trip, as I only did a small quantity (25mg at most).

        2 or 3 hours later I got an email from some guy in Serbia who had

emailed us a few times before. It was a picture of a peace sign overlaid

on a potleaf. I decided to go to CNN's web s ite and saw a headline saying

the war in Kosovo could be over by the end of the weekend. I made a

little prayer for peace.

        Around 7AM, I had dropped down to a level where I was mainly

stimulated, more than tripping, and decided it was time to take a little

GHB to make myself sleepy. No such luck! I ended up consuming enough GHB

to tranquilize a herd of elephants over the next 6 hours, and barely

noticed any effect over the lingering LSD stimulation. I finally managed

to fall into a fitful sleep around 1PM, sleeping until 6, when I woke up

physically drained but mentally full of energy.

        This was one amazing trip, totally worthy of a 10-year anniversary

celebration! And it was a spectacular reunion with an old, trusted friend.

I won't be letting it go that long again before I schedule another date

with my beloved Lady Sidney the Divine...

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 2385

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 30, 2001	Views: 59,256

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GHB (25), DPT (21), LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 3:00
		 1 hit
		 smoked
		 5-MeO-DMT
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

Sex on LSDMT

date of occurrence: 31 October 1986
time of occurrence: approx 11:30 pm pacific standard non-time
my age at the time was twenty one and a third

the momenternity  that  never started &amp;
never really ended - although my relationship with the partner who granted it to me did.

that all does not matter now, the mundanities-inanities-insanities that diverged our two paths.  i found a better path &amp; a better someone to walk it with. and that soul and i are deeply meshed, and we have taken some fine trips.  but i digress...we must speak of a fascinating combination of 3 three letter words...

in 1986, acid and psychedelia in general were my life's central joy. it was halloween of 1986, and i was about to do something i had not ever heard about anyone experiencing, and to this day, i have still not ever heard of anyone having done this besides myself.  i was going to engage in an act of sexual intercourse while on acid and at the peak moment i was going to take a very large lungful of DMT.

when night fell everything looked to be in order. i was globulating on my usual lysergica for three-or-so hours prior at the house in Oakland belonging to my ex-boyfriend, J. and a close female friend K. who had also been involved in some sex things with me and a few other people for a short while lived there as well.  we all frequently took acid and mushrooms together as we were psychedelically compatible.

things were working well...i was sitting with K for about an hour beforehand and mostly what we did was laughing and hallucinating silly pee-wee's playhouse-type things.

so it was decided that  the evening would go on as planned.....

as the time grew close to visit the nth level...i got so keyed up and excited that i thought the adrenaline was going to cause my innards to be tickled so much i would not be able to ingest the dimethyltryptamine properly.

it takes skill to smoke DMT right.  you really have to breathe at just the right rate and hold the stuff in.as long as possible. part of you really instinctively wants to not do this because of the chemical-lab taste of the stuff.  i think part of it is also that it is such an almost-exact analogue of your neurotransmission fluid that your real neurotransmitters get jealous. :-)

i remember earlier that day, i had been reading 'the bachman books' by stephen king under a pseudonym he once used...the story called 'the long walk' was in my head...a terribly chilling tale, that...it gave me a tincture of death-fear, but i shrugged this off as being entirely appropriate considering it was the eve of all saint's day...the day of the dead.

i had the image in my mind, relating to the story, an image of being the finalist in a great contest after which everyone else had already passed away to their next-worlds...and i was about to pass onto mine.

J. and i got into bed &amp; turned all the lights off...except for the blacklite...and a  single black candle. the music we put on the stereo was throbbing gristle, the album called  _third &amp; final report_  i was a dedicated industrial music officionado...a daughter of chaos, a grim little apocalypse/epoch-collapse girl. everything was very solemn, our happiness wore the blackmask of flat affect. some  understand this sort of thing,some don't....i have had people wonder how in hell i could even consider taking acid and tripping to such chaos-inducing harsh noise as throbbing gristle.  i just shrugged at them and smiled.  it was just something i did.  something i would do again...many times.  i still do sometimes even now, though as much as it discomfits me at times to know this, in my old age i have mellowed. (shiver)

well, we were peaking on the acid and getting really into it. we started to move our slithery limbs glittery-trailingly over each other's bodies.

i was aware of the grid-lines of orgone energy we were emanating...they were deep purple, which was good.  when we are unwell or depressed the purple fades to greyed-outedness...when we are alarmed they flare red with that scary-for-real fight/flight stuff.

he entered me and we fucked on acid for a few hundred centuries...which is always extremely good for me, in and of itself.

i saw images of great power and control which is a common thing for me, a theme that frequently repeats...as i found these things to be very sexy and arousing...and i was really getting off on my hallucinations of  machines and missiles and phallocentric tools of doom.

this probably sounds sick and twisted, but you have to keep in mind that it was the mid-eighties, and we lived in a subculture of this time - and that this kind of thing  was very 'hip' in that particular culture matrix. it symbolized a sort of resignation, an  acceptance of what we'd all once believed was impending near-to-come nuclear war death by merging apocalyptic ambience with orgasmicity.

i don't get off on pain or seeing people get hurt, or get into using power for coercion, or anything like that. i always did believe real power was persuasion - that leads to true mind control and it can be used for good or evil or just for it's own sake.  i mostly got off on the latter sort of moral alignment: i was, and am - a chaotic neutral, you might say.

on the level i was experiencing all this imagery, it was metaphorical in nature.  essentially i was getting off on the concept of power, control, and how it goes up against chaos, and chaos goes up against control.  i now consider these things to be akin to gods: the highest recognizable forces in the multiverse.

as the tape reached side two  it was...time for the experiment.  i felt flushed with anticipation.

i had done about 5 DMT trips by this time so i was plenty in the know about how to deal with its intensities. my partner also knew what to expect from me after doing it several times himself. i took the glass blown pipe, fitted with VERY thin screens, which he held, while being inside of me in the missionary position. i have always found most favourable position for sex, with me underneath the male, as in this configuration, gravity is doing the most advantageous things for me. :-)

i inhaled deeply. i closed my lips and

held my breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

+(((((!!!paintsmell!!!paintsmell!!!paintsmell!!!)))))+

FFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000000uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm -- -- - -.

twistwistwistwistwistwist///twistwistwistwistwistwist

insideoutsideinsideoutside///insideoutsideinsideoutsidein

CYLINDER!
MASTER CYLINDER
THE SIZE OF A SPACECRAFT
NO...
SIZE OF A MONOLITH...!
MASTER CYLINDER
THE GOD'S CYLINDER...
BECOMING

&gt;==== MILES &amp; MILES IN LENGTH ====&gt;

i do not FEEL it - i AM it i
AM the penis that fills me i AM
the void it is filling i AM the SPACE
BETWEEN two bodies i AM
black hole eating white light

i AM the destroyer of stars
and the creator of void

i am a pinpoint
filled by a solid
LIGHTYEARS IN SIZE
LENGTH///WIDTH///HEIGHT
TIME///MOTION///FRICTION

THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM
THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM
THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM
THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM

that sound! i am not hearing it
i AM it.
???sound???
not EVEN as this is
'ear-unheard-by-brain-sound'
heard by pre-nerve connecting to ear,
that hears by funneling sounds into this nerve
and from this nerve into BLACK HOLE of the brainpan.

i am impossible geometry
being schlanged
by impossible geometry.

i am the hypercube-4D-tesseract
being fucked by a klein bottle
inside of a sideways figure eight

i am ZERO divided by infinity
i am INFINITY multiplied by zero

then it ended and i was---

- ]]] snapped [[[ -

suddenly back into regular acid-space -

which - though this is something i still find hard to believe -

felt like mundanity (!!!)

try to imagine what it would take to cause that!

and i could hear (with regular ears, now)
the last song on the album was playing
and genesis p. orridge was singing:

'is that blood...blood on the floor...?
is that blood...blood on the floor...?
is that blood...blood on the floor...?'

i lay on the floor
feeling my body and all its fluids
returning to me - or me to it

J. told me that when it started i had dropped totally out of consciousness and it was like fucking a corpse - of course he knew that wasn't what was going on. but still.  despite it being halloween and despite our proclivities for that 'sicko' noise-music, it sort of didn't seem like he had a very good experience.  this was my experiment though. we thought of trying it with him doing the DMT but it  wouldn't have worked. he'd not be able to sustain an erection.

tough luck, boys. this is one for the girls to do.....
unless you like or don't mind being a backdoor man:
to put it bluntly, that's the only way it could work.

you have to be on the receiving end because you're just not at all inside your body while this is happening.

the great experiment of 1986 was a success.
for years afterward though, i became
o b s e s s e d    c o m p l e t e l y
with this experience.

i could write or paint nothing without it as the subject matter.

true power is my greatest turn-on -
there is nothing - NOTHING - more erotic to me
than the twistyturvy warfucklove between
CHAOS and CONTROL

i got closer to it than i ever got in my life with the LSD/DMT/SEX thing.

like i pointed out, i have never ever heard of anyone else taking this combination and doing this particular thing while doing it.  i  find it strange to be the only one (in my knowledge) who's ever gotten that far, and been that high up/out.

some day maybe i would like to do it again, but with my current lover, who i have much better physical and mental rapport with.  that very rapport has caused me to finally let this heavy psychedelic thing become a wonderful memory and not an obsession, though.  i mean, given the chance i would do it again, but he's just so on-turned i don't need the acid to get off with him.  it's like he is a hallucination.

five years i have been living and loving with him and sometimes i still wonder how he could be real.  he certainly improved the real world for me.  there's not much in it i find interesting other than him and the internet and digital art.  i never thought that i'd go years without tripping and not care that much and it's all because of him.  maybe the experiment was just an experiment, a story to tell.

weird thing, my relationship with j. pretty much began to collapse in 1987.  i don't know if it hasd anything to do with the lsdmt but it put a kind of pall on the memory. maybe i had just gone so far some part of me was under the illusion that there was no where else to go with that individual.  that's a retrospective thought though, i didn't think this at the time. there were other unrelated problems probably more important to the collapse.

it was, as i said, all for the better.  J. is still a friend and i will never forget halloween night 1986.

-thraam

Exp Year: 1986	ExpID: 9473

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 17, 2001	Views: 184,554

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LSD (2), 5-MeO-DMT (58) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Sex Discussion (14), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   130 lb

I am a very experienced LSD user, and an avid reader of Erowid's reports.  I am frequently surprised by the lack of clear and reliable information that my fellow psychonauts have had going into their first LSD experience, or in cases where ignorance has led to disaster.  So, with this in mind, I wish to relate to you my own experience with an unknown source and potency of the drug, and why it is so very very very important not to leave these things to chance (unless, of course, you are keen to go mad).

The day in question started fairly normally -- it was a saturday in mid-summer, beautiful weather, I was in a good mood, and had most of the day at my disposal . . . so I decided to go down to the waterfront (the place in my town where it is most easy to pick up drugs on the street) to buy a vial of acid.  This was mistake #1.

When I got down there, I almost immediately made contact with an older woman, perhaps 40 or 50, who claimed to have amber liquid in great quantities.  Indeed, this was true -- she had a small makeup jar that was filled with probably 300 or more hits of the brown liquid (maybe a 1/4 cup of the stuff).  She took my vial, a small binaca dropper, dipped it in, and sucked up probably 30 or 40 hits.  She charged me only $20 for this, so I began to wonder if it was really acid at all . . . usually I paid more like two or three bucks a hit, and this worked out to about 50 cents each . . . but I bought it anyway and took off.

It was probably somewhere around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, at this point.  I walked several blocks to the mall in downtown, and retreated in a public restroom to drop a few hits.  I dropped 2, noted they tasted slightly of liquor, then left to walk the mall.  This was mistake #2.  People have told me before (and now I tell others) that you should ALWAYS drop only one, or even less, when you have bought a batch of unknown potency.

No more than perhaps ten or fifteen minutes later, I was in a software store, looking at video games, we a sudden, quickly-rising sense of panic and apprehension came over me.  I began to think, 'Perhaps it was poison, or they mixed it improperly!  I might be about to die!'  I left the store immediately and sat down on a bench in the mall's atrium, trying to get my head straight.  I remembered in the past that music had calmed me when I felt anxious on LSD, so I got out my CD player and tried to listen to acoustic guitar music, but even that was way too much.  And I was freaking out because I was like 20 minutes into the trip -- not even close to the peak -- and I was already overwhelmed.  Fortunately, even at this point, I was a fairly experienced solo tripper, so even with my mind out in space, my body was functioning on a basic survival sort of level.

I left the mall in a great hurry and walked to the nearest bus stop to catch a bus home.  Had I known the story of Albert Hofmann's second (and intentional) trip, I might've described my feelings at this point as he did at the onset of his trip: 'extreme personal crisis'.  Though I waited about 5 minutes, it seemed like an eternity.  There were hundreds of people out on the streets, and every one of them seemed to be mutated or twisted in a unclear sort of way.  The bricks that made up the sidewalk sent up half-visible smokily twisting versions of themselves, and stretched and bent about people's feet as they walked by.

Being on the bus was even more frightening.  Though I knew all of this was in my head, it didn't take away the hallucinations of mad chattering that I was hearing, nor did it curb the panic that had risen and was still rising in me.

When I got off the bus, still some 10 blocks from my house, I was alarmed to find that in addition to the wild visual and auditory hallucinations, I was beginning to have difficulties in the physical realm as well.  As I crossed the road (which too was frightening -- I had no trust in any of the drivers not to run me over, despite the fact that the stoplight was quite clearly red) the pavement began to feel as if it were slowly rolling and jumping up and down under my feet.  Trees moved and waved in rapid, almost violent profusions of color and pattern, and I began to worry that I might be left completely mad from this trip, that my mind might never come back.

Once I got home, I lay down on my bed and attempted to center myself and meditate, get some kind of grip on reality, but my thoughts felt like energetic fluid, far too volatile to be controlled.  I saw huge, swift blue slashes of lightning arcing and chasing across my ceiling.  I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and found that the side of my house was flowing up and down simultaneously, much more rapidly than I was accustomed to on acid.  Unreal, half-visible geometric boxes encased the smoke that rose from my cigarette, and I thought to myself, this is the true nature of LSD, a drug that must command great respect, not only for the wisdom it can uncover, but also for its power to drive the unprepared completely mad.  It is a drug meant for those with great mental strength, and little fear of its ego-slaying properties.

I realized somewhere in my random mental wanderings out on that deck that half the reason I was freaking out was that I was alone.  So, once again operating in survival mode, I called my friend A, and explained that I had take 2 hits of LSD, but that the effect I'd gotten was far more potent than I'd expected, and that I was in need of some companionship.

     'Damn,' she said, 'You sound SO loaded.'

I agreed that this was in fact the case.  She told me that she had to go to work, but would send my friend B over in a minute to watch over me.  After I hung up with her, I felt better, knowing at least if I was going to go mad, I wouldn't be alone.

It seemed to take forever for B to arrive, but once he did, we put in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and sat down to watch.  Oddly enough, though I was still grilling incredibly hard, once B was there, talking with a fellow LSD user (though he was completely straight at the time) and the comedic atmosphere of the movie combined to make me feel much better.  At this point I would say I was having a good time again.  B and I hung out for several hours that night, but when he went home at about 11 pm, I was still completely fried.  I stayed up most of the night reading Greek myth and listening to Pink Floyd.  I think I finally came down somewhere around noon the next day, but felt odd and slightly tweaky for a good week or so afterwards.  Also, previous to this experience, I'd never really had any lasting after-effects from doing hallucinogens, but to this day I still see tracers and what I refer to as 'rainbow trash', a sort of static-like colorful profusion of afterimages that lightly sprinkle my vision.  I understand that these are symptoms of HPPD, though they have never really caused me any particular problems, and they have subsided somewhat with time.

So, I say in conclusion, if you are going to do LSD, do it with a known source (hopefully a friend), do it in moderation (for the least after-effects and paranoia/fear), don't do it too often (can you imagine LSD getting boring? sounds unlikely but I've experienced it), and for God's sake don't do it anyplace you can't easily and quickly leave if things do start to go south.  If you respect these things, LSD will respect you, and a wide world of knowledge, creativity, and self-discovery await.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 17624

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 28, 2002	Views: 96,258

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

I have experienced with LSD approximately 15-20 times.  This was not necessarily a bad trip, just an uncomfortable one.....

We started out at 4pm, ate the tabs and called for a cab to take us to the hills where we wouldn't be bothered by reality. Earlier that day we wrote down our address on a piece of paper and took it with us, in the event that we wanted to go home before we sober up, we could hand the paper to the cab driver, and he would handle the rest.

The hills are about a 10 minute drive from the house.  As soon as we arrived, I was already feeling funny.  There was a porta potty nearby, so I went in.  My friends were talking outside and the sounds were noticebly strange.  We hiked for about 10 minutes, and I was feeling really tingly, and could not stop smiling!  Now it had been about a total of thirty minutes since we dropped.  I was amazed at the speed of the effects coming on.  Walking down the trail a little more now, things are buzzing, butterflies are cicling with magnificant trails following, like a million rays of light, all red and yellow.  There were two ladies walking their dogs that stopped to chat about 30 feet away from us.  This made me really uncomfortable.  I was beginning to feel the paranoia that I always do, but a little stronger this time.  At first I could make out what the two ladies were saying, but within a couple of minutes, it was all a bunch of mush.....just like Charlie Brown's mom.

We moved to a different spot, as hard as it was for me to walk at this point.  My legs felt like rubber, and I could not stop laughing.  At this point the hallucinations were starting.  I thought there were 10 or so people walking around, all with dogs.  I asked my boyfriend if it was real, and he said no.  Laying on the grass for about another hour or so I think......15 seconds seems like an hour sometimes.  My boyfriend was running up and down the hill like he was a mad man, just full of energy saying 'Yahoo, isn't this fun??'  I could not move.  I wanted something, but I wasn't quite sure what it was.  I could just not get comfortable, so we moved again.  This time into a crater-like bowl shape on the side of a hill.  Getting really dark now, there were so many things to see in this 'crater'.  Trees moving, faces forming within the rocks and making faces at me, the grass breathing.  I suddenly felt like the crater was closing in on me.  I could no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I got scared and wanted to go home.  Uneasy, and not wanting to spoil everyone else's time, I went with the flow.

Next we moved up to the top of the hill where we get an incredible view of the freeway and all of the lights.  It was cold, and scary out there.  I was at a place where I just wanted to stare at the lights with all of the energy shooting off in the sky.  The clouds forming animals and people dancing.  I could not focus my eyes on one single thing, they were jumping all over the place.  I think one of the reasons I didn't have a better time is because it was dark, and I could not tell if there was someone (from reality world) standing right in front of me or not.  I had to remind myself that I was not going to stay like this.  'It's just a drug'  I kept telling myself.  My wonderful man sitting there trying to comfort me but it just wouldn't work.  Suddenly a BRIGHT light goes on in the residential area below us.  My boyfriend yells 'Everybody Down!'  We lay there in complete silence.  I could hear all of our hearts beating LOUD.  I thought it was a cop and we weren't supposed to be there.  The most horrible things were going through my head.  I was afraid I would be forced to talk to him or something.  Then the light goes off.

I was still afraid to look.  Finally my man says 'It's ok, it was only somebody's motion sensor light in their yard.'  Holy smokes.  My pupils were so huge, that a mere porch ligh from 200 feet away seemed like a cop spotlight.    At this time I convinced everyone to go home.  I wanted a comfortable place that I was farmiliar with.  We ventured on down the hill throught these massive sticks sticking out of the ground as tall as we were all around us.  We obviously lost track of the trail, and could not find it.  I was practically running down the hill, frightened almost like someone was chasing me.  My boyfriend kept trying to hold me back and slow me down.  This only made me feel worse.  I was still peaking really good.  I could see the end of the trail that meets the main road.  It would look like it was 10 feet in front of my face.  I would take 30 more steps, and look up, and I was still as far away from the end as I was the last time I looked.  This went on for another 10 - 15 minutes, or so I thought before we were level.

We were now walking through a swamp that was about 1 foot deep.  I felt like I was sinking in quick sand.  When we got out of the swampy area I reached down to feel my pants, only to find that they were completely dry!  Not even any mud.  :) Hehe.  Phew, almost home free, then CRAP!  We have reached a freakin' dead end.  A wire fence all the way areound us.  But this was never here before???  AAAAAHHHHH.....I think everyone was a little freaked out about this.  It was a very trapped feeling, almost clausterphobic.  I remember hearing screams from a child near by and parents yelling.  I started running.  We found the end of the fence, and called a cab.  How did my boyfriend call a cab???  How could he possibly even speak?  This made me think he was coming down, and I didn't like the feeling of having to finish my peak alone.  Waiting for the cab on the curb for what seemed like a whole night, listening to my boyfriend talk about normal real things like the economy, and buying a house someday.  I just could not comprehend this.  Here comes five pairs of headlights!

Yeah, the cab is here.  We walked towards the van, waving it down.  When it stops, we realize it wasn't a cab, it was a mom with a carload of kids inside.  Boy, she must have thought we were loopy.  I am discouraged once again.  The next car that came was in fact the cab.  We got in and looked at the strange looking man about to take our lives into his hands.  He never said a word to us.  It was like he sensed our energy or something.  Going up and down hills felt like a roller coaster ride, hearing all of the creaks and cracks inside the car, with the radio on so low, but yet it was like we were at a concert.  Stop lights stayed red for an eternity, watching 500,000 cars in cross traffic going by.  It was hard to make out where we were even though I've lived here for 12 years.

Still peaking in the cab, as soon as we got home and walked inside it was like the world came back all within 10 seconds.  I was no longer peaking, but still feeling effects.  We put on the Doors, and it rocked us to sleep.

Next time, I am going to do it all during the day time.  I can't fight it.  I really just have to go with it.  I am humble, and bow down to the acid gods.  Pretty powerful stuff.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 7528

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 31, 2003	Views: 107,636

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   98 lb

i'm thinking back 33 years.  i was 25 then, graduated from college and married to a graduate student in political science.  the acid was made by a grad student in chemistry in ann arbor.  we knew and trusted the source.  my husband took it a couple of times and eventually i decided to try it.  i'd thought about it and it was a genuine decision.  i think all of that was important.  there was no second guessing the decision or fears about what was in that tab.

i took it early in the evening.  i sat on the couch and waited.  not long.  i felt a physical sensation like going up in a fast elevator.  i remember wondering if this was part of the chemical effect or my way experiencing the words 'getting high.'  i also remember paying attention as best i could to the process of it taking effect and remember a clear realization that this was a great power and that if i fought it, i'd lose.  no contest.  so it was a reaffirmation of my decision to go with it no matter what cause the time to consider was over.

my husband sat down in the chair across from me.  flames outlined his body.  i wondered if that was his aura.  seemed to fit him.

the 'visuals' of this trip were amazing to me and vivid. for example: i was sitting, looking at the formica top of the kitchen table.  really i was seeing a landscape with bones protruding from the ground beneath the trees.  in the distance a woman beckoned and i followed, walking beneath a tree in which two people sat on a branch talking.  i followed this wraith-like, raggedy lady for awhile.  eventually she stopped at the mouth of a dark cave and turned to wave me forward.  i stopped.  no.  the entire place vanished leaving the table top as before.

the term 'visuals' doesn't capture the sense of being there that i had with much of what i saw.  most of the visuals, and there were many, had that quality of actually being there.

but i would not say that the hallucinations were the most remarkable aspect of the trip for me.  in fact i would have to say that they were negligible in comparison to the profound sense, the absolute conviction that i was okay.  that i was enough.  that i had a right to be here.

i had seen many things before.  well, these were just other things i was seeing.  i had been places before.  well these were just new places.  But never ever before in my whole life had i felt absolutely at ease and at home inside my own skin.  it was a revelation.  and it was the most astonishing vision of the whole trip.

at about 1am we walked out to buy a pack of cigarettes.  the bar on the corner was open so in we went.  in the time it took us to cross the threshold and walk 5 feet inside the entire place fell silent with everyone staring at us.  my husband looked at me, but i just went forward and asked the bartender for a pack of camels and we left.  we stood on the corner a moment wondering what that had been about when suddenly a patron of the place exited foot first.  he'd kicked the door open, swearing and tore off down the street.  the only thing we could ever come up with to explain this odd scenario is that the neighborhood we lived in was home to a lot of illegal aliens and perhaps this was their bar and we didn't belong.

but the interesting part to me is that this would have freaked me out in my normal condition and tripping it stayed exactly what it was.  just a minor glitch.  it was okay that i didn't know what they were thinking.  it was okay that they assigned a meaning to us being there that was not accurate.  it was okay.  i was okay.

at dawn it was waning.  i listened to the band do 'rockin' chair' and could hear all the layers.  i cried.  'it's my belief we've used up all our time; this hill's too steep to climb and the days that remain ain't worth a dime...'  broke my heart to come down.  but nobody stays.

i went to bed after that.  so sad... until the cartoon of two hilarious chickens started on the wall of the room.  just like a parting gift.  i laughed till i cried again  -- then fell asleep.

i tripped a few times again after that.  not many.  every time it was a visit home to myself.  to me without all the unnecessary social baggage of anxiety, guilt, shame, competition, comparison and rigid conformity.  how well i lived without all that!

the other day one of my sons was listening to a terence mckenna tape.  mckenna said that his life happened years ago in the amazon and that, in a sense, the time since has been throw-away.  i feel that way a bit myself.

but not really.  lsd taught me.  gave me a glimpse.  lsd showed me what was valuable and necessary and what was just baggage.  showed me what i was dealing with and in what direction to head.   i never got over that.  i hope i never do.

Exp Year: 1970	ExpID: 24362

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 9, 2003	Views: 107,199

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Health Benefits (32), Entities / Beings (37), Personal Preparation (45), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 vaginal
		 LSD

		 vaginal
		 MDMA

		 vaginal
		 Ketamine

		 vaginal
		 2C-B

		 vaginal
		 Pharms - Alprazolam

		 smoked
		 Acacia

		 inhaled
		 Nitrous Oxide

This report describes a group experiment undertaken by 8 women curious about the potential effects of vaginal administration of  drugs. Some of these women had gathered together previously for group tripping in a relaxed, socializing “slumber party” setting. Most of these women had met at least once before the experimental evening and knew each other quite well. Previous slumber parties involved about 5-8 women ages 24 to 60 showing up at one woman’s house with a selection of psychoactives plus food for the next morning. These gatherings involve making a comfy nest in the living room, chatting a bit, sharing information about what psychoactives we’ve brought to share, and then deciding what to take based on what’s available and what we’re feeling like. At the previous slumber party, available compounds included: MDMA, LSD, 2C-B, 2C-T-21, 2C-I, TMA-2, acacia resin, mescaline-containing cactus extract, ketamine [IM and intranasal], cannabis, nitrous oxide, and GHB.

This slumber party was convened with the intention to administer primarily LSD [paper tabs] intravaginally and noting response. One woman abstained from the LSD and took 2C-B instead (following by ketamine). Two took MDMA intravaginally in veggie capsules in addition to the LSD. Another abstained from LSD and took alprazolam instead and served as scribe. One participant imagined that she would have to take more [5 hits rather than one] for this method of administration, but the majority operating assumption was that we should “take less” than a typical oral social dose. This came in part from one story a participant had heard of adverse reactions (i.e. heart attack) from women whose partners had put cocaine on their cocks before intercourse, as well as experiences of rectal administration.

Unless otherwise specified, all doses below were administered vaginally. We noted age, weight, medications, point in the menstrual cycle, and astrological info (sun/moon/ascendant. hey why not). All women are still menstruating [no one menopausal]. Chocolate was ingested by the majority of the participants prior to administration. A small altar was set up with objects of personal significance. Note: the LSD blotter imprint was “condoms”, the irony was not lost on us.

BE: 26 y.o., 165 lbs., no meds, irregular menstruation [doesn’t bleed every month]. Aries, Aries, Sagitarius.

She took 1 hit of blotter acid vag., followed by another hit at T+1:00. After second hit, “definitely feeling something.”

MJ: 33 y.o., 132 lbs., meds: acid blocker, anti-inflammatory (one steroidal), asthma meds, birth control;

Aquarius, Pisces, Libra.

She took 1 hit of blotter acid vag, followed by 50 mg MDMA vag. at T+0:25 and a hit of blotter acid at T+1:00.

After 25 min., she is burping which is normally an alert associated with nausea, but there’s no nausea this time. After 35 min. she’s having a little trouble with linear speech. After 1 hour she is feeling “off baseline”. Shortly after that she checks and comments “cunt smells sweeter, and tastes like E.” At T1:20 she takes 60 more mg MDMA vaginally, and at T2:30 announces she’s “off baseline.”

DJ: 37 y.o., 120 lbs., no meds, post-ovulation, Sagitarius, Cancer, Capricorn.

She took 1 hit of blotter acid vag, followed by 50 mg MDMA vag. at T+0:25 and a hit of blotter acid at T+1:00.

After 35 minutes she notices alerts, and “cunt feels hot.” After 1 hour, “feeling the acid but not the E.” At T1:20 she takes 60 more mg MDMA vaginally, and at T2:00 announces she’s “starting to feel my E.” Next morning after waking up, “cunt smells sweet.” The most surprising datapoint for the whole experiment was when at T+18 the next day, DJ had sex with her husband and it potentiated the MDMA that she hadn’t really fully felt the night before!

DC: 42 y.o., 127 lbs., meds: birth control pills, menstruating and has a yeast infection, Leo, Aries, Sagitarius.

She took 1 hit of blotter acid vag., then another after one hour. At T+2:30, “Well I say, I’m not going to get high tonight.”

HC: 39 y.o., 160 lbs., no meds, post-menstrual, Virgo, Scorpio, Scorpio.

She took 1 hit of blotter acid vag, and 175 mg MDMA orally. Nothing notable to report.

IK: 30 y.o., 140 lbs., meds: birth control pills, pre-menstrual, Virgo sun.

She took 2 hit of blotter acid vag. and 100 mg MDMA orally. Felt higher than the rest but 'at 50%' nonetheless.

DL: 24 y.o., 130 lbs., no meds, ovulating. Taurus, Taurus, Virgo

She took 10 mg 2C-B vag. [normal oral dose is 17 mg]

After 10 minutes, feeling “fluttery,” “I’m feeling high.” After 40 minutes, “cunt feels hot” followed by “I’m high” and “feeling it in my body, it’s not in my head.” After 2 hours, “Not really feeling high. Would be feeling this dose more if it were oral.”

T+2:20 – 50 ml vag. ketamine. Lay on her back with her hips up in the air, used a syringe with the needle taken off, some spilled, conclusion:  “We don’t have the tools for proper administration.” Fifteen minutes after the ketamine, “I feel heavy”, feeling a typical K sensation that she feels under her chin, feeling more mobile and verbal than this dose would feel like if taken IM. After 25 minutes, felt a distinct sensation of cold in a ring around the labia right where the hair stops.

Scribe: 33 y.o., 123 lbs., no meds, pre-ovulation, Cancer, Cancer, Scorpio.

She took .25 mg of alprazolam vag.

Recently diagnosed with “colpospasm” (spasming of pelvic muscles) so general low-level discomfort in pelvic area makes me not want to put any stimulating chemicals in my vagina, and I’m quite familiar with soothing effects of .25 mg of alprazolam so it seems like a good thing to experiment with. At T+0:40, feeling sensations in lower limbs, legs and feet are getting colder. After an hour, feet are uncomfortably cold, and the colpospasm has relaxed a bit, although this may be from being in a generally relaxing social setting. Not feeling typical anxiolytic effects. Would I take this again this way? Maybe just to see, but at a higher dose, like .5 or 1 mg.

General comments before time stamped comments:

After administration, we realize how cool it would have been to check pH levels before and after. Next time: litmus paper.  Generally, we did not get “as high” as a comparable oral dose. Some did not consider they “got high” at all, or just felt “at 50%”, in “the land of alerts”, or “off baseline”. Onset felt slower and attenuated, though alerts began at the same time as expected for an oral dose. No nausea was reported. Consensus seemed that this was not an efficient way of dosing, and that for any future experiments, compounds should be in solution or in some cream form for better dispersion.  We agreed that it was good that we were cautious about dose this first time.

T+0:35 – topic of conversation is what we’ve just done and what different ways we could experiment with this method of administration, what we can research about women and psychoactives (history, existing data on pharmacology), women’s circles and group tripping, issues related to families, and how there is a lack of visible psychedelic mentors for women. When considering if psychedelics “bring on” or delay menstruation, most participants say that brings it on, two don’t notice if it brings it on, one says it delays her menstruation, and one says she used to have break-through bleeding each time she tripped, before she went on birth control. We considered how since weight can fluctuate during the menstrual cycle, that could influence effects [as well of course as hormone levels]. One participant mentions how European women take aspirin intravaginally and that this way they avoid the stomach upset effects of aspirin. Another participant describes how she makes sexual partners who are tobacco smokers (especially) wash their hands before touching her intimately, because otherwise it stings.

T+ 0:45 – Participants starting to feel a little high, subject of conversation turns to sex, sex and boundaries, assumptions about how many people think that mixing sex with psychoactives makes the sex somehow “less real”, that it removes agency. But it really doesn’t, people just have to be clear about intention.

T 1:15 – MJ and DJ, who both took MDMA &amp; LSD, notice that one is feeling the effects of the MDMA more quickly, and feels as if her pH is different, that it changed after administration.

T+1:45 – general restlessness about “not feeling very high”. Considering what else we should do, and talking about making the experiment not so pure [i.e. boosting orally].

T+2:00 – the only participant really feeling high is the one who took 2 hits of acid and 100 mg oral MDMA to begin with, but she still has described the acid part as “feeling at 50%”.

T+3:00 – “land of alerts”, “still coming on”, “not really high.” DJ's husband has been invited over the deliver the nitrous oxide delivery device [whipped cream canister]. He is offered a cartridge of nitrous to enjoy before returning home, and is treated to a pleasant way to augment nitrous oxide inhalation that was refined at a previous slumber party. The person inhaling sits on the floor with all the others in a circle around them. After inhalation, the circle of people make soft strange noises and whisper affirmations and nice things around the person in the middle, moving around to change the location of the sounds and create air movement, generally weaving a sonic web around them. This is a gourmet version of saying 'wa wa wa' to someone on nitrous. After this, the husband promptly left.

T+3:30 –This is about where general time stamps taper off because the scribe wanted to get high. Scribe takes 4 ml of GHB (oral), followed by two cartridges of nitrous oxide (inhaled), followed after 15 minutes by 2 bumps of ketamine from a bullet (insufflated). Last notes are “time stamp makes no sense, on K. 1:08 AM, high high high from just 2 bumps of K.” Apparently the GHB made the modest dose of ketamine zoom really hard.

By hour 4, all but one person are on ketamine [6 taking 40-70 mg ketamine IM, and 2 take ketamine intranasally], and most partake in smoked acacia resin rolled with a smoking blend that has a little tobacco in it. The tone of the gathering is no longer linear and intellectual, but has generally become a social ketamine trip interjected by a short while of contemplative silence as the acacia joint gets passed around. People are taking turns telling stories and engaging in verbal banter, exclaiming about the states of mind they’re in [“Work with me here, I’m high!!”], stretching or rubbing tense muscles, cuddling, eating grapes, giggling, inhaling nitrous oxide. Soundtrack: Boards of Canada.

by 4:30am [T+6:00] LD, BE, DJ are somewhat asleep, others are either wide awake [MJ, “from the acid”], or feeling like it’s time to go to bed. Scribe goes to bed and wakes up the next morning at around 9:30am. Everyone is up but MJ and DJ, who took some clonazepam to go to sleep.

Plans are discussed for a future experiment, perhaps with liquid cactus extract. Breakfast snacks followed by group hug to seal in the fun, trust, spirit of experimentation and comeraderie.

As mentioned above, the most surprising datapoint is the next day DJ’s MDMA kicked in after she had sex with her husband. Duly noted.

Overall, it seemed like the group didn't get very much from vaginal administration, it seemed less effective and efficient than oral administration, but participants would consider another experiment with substances in solution or cream.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 26033

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 11, 2003	Views: 544,746

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LSD (2), MDMA (3), 2C-B (52), Ketamine (31), Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Sex Discussion (14), General (1)