		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   225 lb

I find it hard to write about what has happened to me in the short course of about five months but I know talking about it helps so maybe writing about it will also help.

After my first bad trip I should have known not to trip again but I suppose the agony of my current delusional and panic stricken state is the price I pay for being fooled twice.

My first bad experience occurred in September 2007.  I was coming home from my girlfriend's dorm up at her college writing a book about 'the perfect state' of the universe and how everything happened for a reason.  I was in a philisophical mode so I decided it would be a good idea to take some strong acid that night.  Granted I had had experience with mushrooms on many occasions and was an avid smoker of marijuana but I had only tried 'bunk' acid before and the only overwhelmingly strong trip I had previously was when I broke through on Salvia.

The trip started pretty nicely, as I heard most bad trips do.  I was listening to music on my girlfriend's Ipod and felt pretty incredible.  I am pretty sure I sat up at one point and said to my friends 'Guys this is incredible!'  But slowly I started having a flashback to my experience with salvia.  I felt as if somehow, the two trips were related.  All of my friends started to change around me and I felt as if they were demons.

It was as if I was stuck in limbo.  My one female friend seemed to embody my mother, the dark side of my yin and yang, my nurturer, and my other friend was the white side, active, impatient, exuberant.  They each seemed to posses their own way of wanting to have me die in the long run.  On was anxious and willing for me to run into death, the other wanted to lull me into death.  Eventually they calmed me down and I was able to chain smoke myself to sleep.

I got over that trip well enough.  In between this trip and the real meat of this essay I had a mushroom trip, my first bad one, in which I felt I was being lead to hell and I had to find heaven.  Not so good of a trip but I also got over that one.  Did I stop?  Of course not.

My final trip is of the LSD variety.  Once again it started wonderfully.  I was watching an episode of Oprah that was on at midnight for some reason.  Jerry Seinfeld's wife was on the show and sharing cooking recipes.  She looked beautiful to me.  Angelic almost.  I looked at her and thought to myself that she would never hurt me.  Hurt me?  Why was I thinking about things trying to hurt me?  My two male friends C and K were absent from the room when I was coming up (good friends right?) and I was losing myself in myself gradually.  They came back a while later only to freak me out of my mind.  C kept asking me questions about how I thought sound worked as he patted on a speaker.  I could have sworn I heard sounds start to come out as he patter. K just looked weird to me but often said things that made me feel comfortable.  C was the one that really personified the devil for me that night.  But at the same time K looked so godawful to me.

As the night waned on through eternity I could not decide what I should do.  I ran out of there house.  I ran up and down the street seeking heaven.  Eventually people started coming out of their homes to go to work but I thought it was all the work of the demons to make me feel rediculous in my pursuit of heaven.  I eventually mustered up the courage to walk past a house with a cackling witch on it (Halloween decorations were up) and a man with a dog came out of his house.  As I passed them I walked into the brightest light I have ever walked into in my life.  I felt as if I had died, but it was beautiful.  Everything made sense to me.  I could feel beautiful and free.  However my human side must have gotten scared for suddenly I was facing the other way again and looking at K.  He assured me I was ok and said he was scared for me.

They eventually took me home where I sat up for a day feeling as though I was rotting like an onion (I hadn't bathed in almost four days and felt as if I was crumbling from the outside to my core).  it was interesting enough that I saw two different cooking shows involving the peeling of onions while I sat in my house vibrating in fear.  I tried to watch cartoons to calm myself down, I tried to watch news, anything familiar and calm, everything seemed to be sending me messages.

I ended up stayin up for a total of 96 hours.  By the day after I got home my mom and grandmom decided to take me to a hospital.  I could absolutely not sleep in the hospital and was given nothing along the lines of thorzine (possibly to my benefit).  From the hospital I went to a rehab so I could stop doing all the drugs I had been doing previous to these bad trips.  I finally got to shower and think I eventuall got to sleep.

Even though I feel I get somewhat rested to this day I still wonder if I am actually even sleeping at all.  I have paranoid delusions and see a therapist weekly.  I have been put on risperdal and a slow release form of it to take in the mornings named invega.  I pray this has all been a bad dream that I can still wake up from.  I hope I am on no perma trip into eternity.  I feel as if I am getting better daily but still try to keep myself inside a lot.  I feel as though for now it is a punishment that fits the crime.  I tried to get outside of myself for too long and almost fully ate that proverbial 'forbidden fruit' and felt god in full.  I hope something saved me and brought me back here and will eventually fully restore me.  Panic attacks are one thing to be dealt with but the mentality that everything is a plot to destroy or maintain you eternally is a whole nother thing.  I pray I am not choosing heaven or hell right now in writing this and if I am choosing one I hope it is heaven, even just metaphorically speaking.  I thank experience reports for insight into other people's experiences who have had similar awakenings and eventually recovered.

Out of all this I am sure I will become a better man for certain.  I have stopped using drugs, I go to NA when I am not too distraught, I have already quit cigarettes, and am currently in the process of finding who I need to be to make god proud.  I was formerly a strict daoist but now I am leaning towards catholicism.  I know it can be a bit strict but I need someone/something to be there as my saviour sometimes and who better than Christ and what better tool than his love?

LSD has taught me a lot but it has also left me somewhat empty.   I hope to restore that space.  LSD is not something to be toyed with.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 68440

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 9, 2020	Views: 704

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 5 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Aripiprazole
		 (daily)

		 oral
		 LSD

		 oral
		 Mushrooms

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

I have been on only 5mg/day of Abilify for the past 2 years. In that time I have eaten a 1g psilocybin edible, 8g mystery variety mushrooms, and 5g Golden Teachers. Each time I experienced a noticeable increase in body temperature, some visual patterns and, on the 8g, a change in perception/thinking. Kind of like the fuzzy, goofy feeling I got the first time I ever tried a couple hits of weed as a teenager.

Nine summers ago I had access to all the Blue Ringer mushrooms I wanted and I ate them, in excess, likely 8 or more grams per sitting, every week. My trips were what I describe as "dark and drippy." Fluid, vibrant, everything I saw took on extreme detail seeming to hold every color all at once, facial features crawled around their owners' heads, constellations battled - I truly Tripped. Now I just don't.

I truly Tripped. Now I just don't.

 At all. My husband believes we're getting low potency products, and we have had random sources. My previous experience was very controlled.

This year I have had access to large quantities of LSD. I started with 200 mics and had favorable response. At 100 mics my experience varies from time to time. Occasionally eating just one hit seems to have almost no effect. I have taken to consuming 500-1500 mics when given the opportunity and the only oddity there is that, even at "heroic doses" I can go to sleep that night and wake up just fine. Those around me report 16 hour trips, not being able to move at high doses, extreme confusion, waking up still tripping.

I had someone tell me I could "just really handle acid." I figured there must be some more scientific explanation.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113596

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Dec 16, 2020	Views: 1,129

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

Pharms - Aripiprazole (422), LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), Unknown Context (20)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Cannabis
		 (edible / food)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 6:00
		 250 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   200 lb

I am an experienced psychonaut who has slowed down as I've gotten older but continue to make at least one pilgrimage a year with my best friends where we take a trip together. We had gotten a nice stash of LSD and MDMA for the trip and I was excited to hike and adventure with what I expected to be a relatively mild LSD trip and a nice hearty MDMA dose. We stayed in a cabin with a hot tub which I was particularly looking forward to enjoying while rolling. We took the acid around noon and went outside for a hike to some waterfalls while it was pretty rainy and cold. I also had taken about 30 mg of THC in the form of weed peanut butter before heading out. I love being outside and being physical while I come up so I was feeling really good but not feeling super high even 1.5 hours after taking the dose. I remember saying 'hmm, I wonder if I should take more when we get back' and my friend said 'I don't know about you, but I'm tripping really hard.' As we turned around to start heading back to the car I noticed I felt slightly outside of my body, like I was dissociating. I remember feeling like my equilibrium was really off, and that I was going to fall.

I remember feeling like my equilibrium was really off, and that I was going to fall.

 I was cognizant that I was tripping and remarked on this novel feeling - I don't remember ever having a feeling like this on acid before. It was like I was almost about to float out of myself. The visuals were nice but not overwhelming. I didn't have trouble communicating. But I kept feeling like I was about to float away.

After coming back to the cabin I got in the hot tub for a quick dip and was in heaven. We were all hanging out about 5 or 6 hours into the trip, feeling good, but still having that recurring dissociative feeling. I remember a few of my friends saying they felt similarly, which we all thought was a bit odd. I was able to play a decently complex card game so I was pretty lucid even with this out of body sensation still occurring. At around 9pm we decided to take our molly dose. We had weighed out about .4 for each person and I definitely didn’t take all of mine, but I took a little more than half, and did it all at once. Almost right away I started coming up FAST. According to my friends it was really intense right away. At this point I ended up pretty much dissociating. I know I decided I wanted to be in the hot tub so I got in while my friends kept partying. I have no recollection of the hot tub at all. I was in complete ecstasy. According to my friends I was thrashing around in the water, making movements with my arms and legs, and saying sentence fragments. It was like being back in the womb. I was in there for at least an hour until my friend was able to pull me out. I remember talking to her when she came to ‘rescue me’ from the hot tub. I remember at this point having a decently coherent conversation. After that we walked around the neighborhood as I floated in and out of my body. I felt an incredible rush of joy and gratitude for my friendships but wasn’t able to communicate much. I slowly faded and woke up on the couch around 7am before I went to my own bed. Apparently I was putting my arm up in the air every couple of minutes, saying a sentence fragment, and then fading out of awareness. I don't really remember any of this.

The next day I was covered in bruises from thrashing around the hot tub. My friends said they had never seen me that high before, and I agreed. It’s still a huge mystery. I’ve regularly taken larger doses of molly and LSD but this was entirely on another level. The comedown was intense, my husband and I were extremely emotional and moved to tears by extremely mundane things. I was genuinely terrified I broke my brain but after a good night’s sleep and about a day and a half I was back to normal. Still have no idea how I managed to get that high and would love insight - maybe the hot tub dehydrated me to the point the molly was more intense? Maybe the LSD was extra strong or had some other substance? Maybe being isolated in a pandemic for 9 months made everything more powerful? I have no idea but also, no regrets.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115028

Gender: Not Specified

Age at time of experience: 32

Published: Dec 21, 2020	Views: 1,145

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

Sweating (341), MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 drop
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (edible / food)

		   T+ 1:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Oxycodone

		   T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Naloxone

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

It was a Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten home from a family lunch and was on the couch, chopping a mix (I live alone). I had eaten the last of my MDMA and 2CB-LSD on Friday night, but I was tempted to take my last, glittery, LSD gummy bear. After a quick deliberation I grabbed it and chewed on the vaguely bitter lolly, thinking that it probably wouldn't do too much since I still had stuff in my system from Friday.

Scrolling through youtube and watching videos, not much was happening at the hour mark. I punched a few cones to bring it on a bit and, shortly after, the trip began to come on. Well, not a trip so much as an experience.

The first thing I really felt strongly was the waves running through my body, beautiful vibrations seemingly coming from a narrow point inside and flaring out. Switching my system over to Spotify, I threw on a playlist and began to lose myself in the music. The rise in my chest was centred by the lightness of my entire being, as if I was phasing in and out. When I closed my eyes, shapes and patterns and the usual geometric tunnel that I often see sprung to life, pulling me deeper into the trip - I was having a great time.

This is the bit that makes it worth me telling. As I went deeper into the space, and my closed-eye visuals became more intense, I slowly began to arch my back and spread my limbs as far as I could, the tension of just stretching a liittle too far pulsating nicely through my body. I wasn't really aware I was doing it, but I wouldn't say I was unaware either. I was just more focused on the euphoria, and following the tunnel beneath my eyelids. As I arched, though, I began to feel this fiery energy in my core that was incredibly empowering. It felt alive, and this energy was slowly, slowly, beginning to radiate out of me. The more I arched, the wider the ball seemed to get - and then I noticed something odd.

As weird as it sounds, it felt like, growing in my belly, was a vagina. As I stretched, it grew and opened, like a flower blooming. As it did the fire flared and, as my arch reached its apex, seemed to spread right across my body in a surge of heat. I recall it seemed to feel like it was going outwards also. I was really peaking by this point, so my memory gets a tad fragmented.

Some time later, after laying and radiating with this pulsating energy, I began to come back into my body. My neck was sore, and I was very fatigued - although my mind began to race. I started tensing up and, seeing the direction I was heading, decided to go and have a shower. After getting distracted with household chores and various other things I washed myself clean to complete what I was now starting to understand as something of a rebirthing ritual. The shower was amazing. I laughed at the similarity to the Christian/Catholic process of baptism, being an "other" myself - funny, how everything is just a different way of saying the same phrase, of telling the same story. I reflected, and had a minor eureka, on my motives for having tattoos: having struggled significantly with self-harm and self-care throughout life, having beautiful artwork on my skin, that also tells a story and marks a time in my life, makes me appreciate my body. Makes me clean the temple. Makes me care. I reflected on the duality of this, and how I am both at the same time.

Then things got a bit janky. I became very cold and tense, and my neck and back pain was getting more and more full on. I took a few targin (oxycodone) to take the edge off and parked myself in my computer chair with a cuppa and a blanket to watch tv. I laughed at how noble reality tv pretends to be and, though with a LOT of pain, eventually managed to loosen my muscles.

It was a bit of a height to fall from, but not as bad as I'd expected, and I spent a lot of time reflecting on my experience over the next few days. Obviously there are a LOT more details to this experience but, for the sake of brevity and being my first submission, I chose to focus on the main lesson I managed to extract: the cycle. This trip, unexpectedly, served as a much needed reminder of the samsara: the endless knot: ouroborous: life and death. Life and rebirth. For all my experiences, I never thought I'd say I had a vagina on my stomach - but now I can.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115013

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: Dec 25, 2020	Views: 810

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2), Yoga / Bodywork (202) : General (1), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 drop
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 4:00
		 1 - 3 hit
		 vaporized
		 Cannabis
		 (extract)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   235 lb

At the point of taking this substance, I was at a much better place than I had been in years. Feeling happy, joyful and relaxed. I still am, partly due to the experience talked about it this text.

I was in Nashville, TN from the eighth to the sixteenth of the month of February. I was over there visiting my boyfriend, staying at his house that he shares with his roommates. The experience occured on the twelfth. I had known there was a possibility that I would get to do this substance prior to the start of my visit, in fact, I knew months prior. I had no anxiety about it, there was no negative emotion surrounding the idea of the possibility. If anything, I was excited. Happy, in fact. I had researched this substance for the better part of two years before this opportunity, and I felt like I was ready, and if any time was a good enough time, it would be now. Being with the person that I love the most in the world.

The day before I dropped it, he and I went to the store to get snacks and such for the trip. Chips and peach gummies for the both of us, water for me, and he got an energy drink for himself. We wanted to be prepared as much as we could be.

My mindset was very relaxed. I didn't worry. I didn't think about the possibility of it becoming a bad trip, nor did I agonize over "what ifs." My reasoning for doing so was the idea that if I did, it would probably encourage such a negative train of thought.

At 11:55AM on that Wednesday, I asked him (I'll call him John) to put it on my tongue. He did so, as per my request. I started playing Final Fantasy 7 for a little bit. Right after you blow up the first reactor, after you get off the train, that is where I saved and quit.

Not feeling anything yet, we started watching the first few episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion, an anime. Around the fourth episode of that, I started noticing it. My interest in it completely went away. After the first disc (four episodes) ended, we turned that off and I began feeling the LSD coming on more and more. By this time, it was T+ 2 hours. He brought in all of the snacks and such that we bought the day before and I picked up the bottle of water that he got for me. I remember holding it in my hand, turning it over and back up and over and back up, thinking, wondering, if this was the soul; if this was what the soul was. I asked him and he said, "Well, we /are/ mostly water." That stuck with me. It was to be a rainy day, too, and I thought that was a sign.

He went onto YouTube on his PS4 and he asked me if I had ever heard of this band called Heilung. I told him I thought I had, and I had indeed. He had saved a live version of one of their songs, Kriegsgaldr. He put that on, and I found that song was to be such a guide for me. That performance was very moving. A pure, tribal, welcomed cacophony of droning and throat-singing, combined with the melodic vocals of a female, who brought the performance together. I was guided deeper to the beginning of Ego Loss by this performance. And it was so easy. The experience hadn't started removing my body from the ego at this point, but I was insanely close to achieving Ego Loss.

A few moments of doing nothing but being with each other and being content in each other's company passed. I asked if he had heard about anybody on acid ever having visualized a wire while on this substance. He said he had not. In utter disbelief, I asked "Are you serious... Jesus Christ??" I had been visualing a fleshy wire, with a weight somewhere on it, strained absolutely to the point of snapping at any moment, and I realized that was consciousness. I plan on painting that visual.

He asked me if I wanted to go downstairs to get some leftover pizza that we had ordered the day before. The thought of doing something at all, doing anything, was very foreign to me. It was alien. I even greatly criticized the act. I said, "o...kay?" Somewhat apprehensive, I got up from his bed that we were sitting on, in his room (we were in his room for the majority of this whole trip), and when I got up, I could feel everything. I could feel all of my body, my flesh, my organs, touching itself and themselves. I started moving my body sensually as I stood in his room, the feeling of my clothes on my flesh bringing a pleasurable sensation. This heightened sense of touch persisted throughout the whole trip.

This heightened sense of touch persisted throughout the whole trip.

 I followed John downstairs. He led me over to the backyard door, onto the veranda so I could experience being outside at least once. It was overcast and gray. Mixed with the cool brown and sable of the dead leaves and trees that are prevalent in the wintertime, it was a very calming day... yet, it was much more than normal, of course. After I came back inside, we went to the kitchen.

Before we got our pizza, as he was heating it, he went over to his table and picked up a pineapple and walked over to me and handed it to me. When he handed it to me, I started laughing giddily. Not at the pineapple particularly, even though it did look funny and a little bit of my laughter was directed to it as an object, but mostly I was laughing at the very fact that he brought it over to me to hold. I think that point was what started Ego Loss. (And oh, how precious that was.)

We went back upstairs to his room and I said "we have no medium of reference to tell what consciousness is, but we have a frame of reference to tell what the body is..." or something like that. I looked outside, up at the sky, and had a sudden shattering realization. The weight of the universe came down on me, in that instant. I realized that the body that my awareness inhabited was nothing more than... A rare commonality made up of other nothings. Stardust. And that idea made me say, "Oh..." There was nothing more to say than that. It destroyed any sense of importance that I had built up of, and in, myself. And I found myself to be okay with this realization. My thoughts started whizzing by. I said "I can see why this can be very difficult for some people. This can be a lot to take in at once."

At that point, I think I went to the bathroom, if the placement of my memories of the trip serves me correctly. I had remembered people had said not to look at the mirror. So I looked at the mirror, as one would, of course. And I did not think of the person in the mirror as being me. It was a very comforting sensation, because although I knew it was me, it didn't feel like it was. I exchanged a knowing glance to the person behind the mirror as I washed my hands, and by God, it warmed my heart. I knew the person in the mirror knew everything I knew. I knew that person, separate from the life experience that is and was "me", knew my whole life experience from first memory to the present moment. It was a very precious moment. I went back out of the bathroom and into John's room.

He had a cartridge of vapable cannabis extract saved for this occasion, so I had a puff or three of that around this time. T +4.

I had told him I had wanted to listen to the whole Tool canon on the substance and he suggested we start doing that, but yet again, doing something felt alien, but I didn't feel any reason to object. He put on Opiate on YouTube. I picked up a piece of my pizza, feeling of it in my hand and the concept of eating was weird. The pizza felt like flesh in my hand. Like it was alive. At this point, I was peaking. I was not there at this point. The body ate a bite of the pizza.

I said to him, "This breaks down things, doesn't it?" and he agreed with me. I chuckled a little and asked him "What, are you just gonna agree with everything I say?" Looking back, that seems harsh, but I know he understood where I was coming from in the moment. I can't remember what he said at that point but it was something like "No... I felt like that when I was on it." Opiate finished and we went on to Undertow. John held me and laid me down next to him and we cuddled while Undertow was playing. I thought to myself "You are still thinking, you need to let go. Let go. L e t  g o." I didn't go to sleep, but I was closing my eyes. I started feeling that I was not me, but I was, and had always been, John. I felt that my whole consciousness had been inside John's body this whole time, throughout my entire life. Even some of my memories played out before me, and where I was, he took my place. John's body was where I had been in the memories that played, and I was living out those memories as him.

I felt there was a white light enveloping everything in the room. There were no shadows, no colors other than white, except for his eyes. I visualized him just sitting on the bed, looking at me, or rather, looking at a point of view that I was seeing out of. Just bathed in white. It was not uncomfortable, it was not bright, nor blinding, just a pure white, but this awareness-experience that was experiencing things could tell the outlines of every object, and so, could tell what things were.

I opened my eyes. We cuddled and I was looking up at the popcorn ceiling periodically, seeing spirals and fractals going around the ceiling. Reds and blues and greens were dominating the edges of things, shining. Colors were much more vivid. Things breathed. Even as I gazed at my hand, it was breathing. I looked at the wall, and it was shifting and expanding, moving and bending in some places. Undertow ended before I knew it.

Then, we put on Ænima.

While we were listening to Ænima, right in the middle of "Forty-six &amp; 2," John's roommates knocked on his door. We paused the song, he got up and answered it. They said they were going out to eat and asked John if he could deal with the internet guy downstairs, because they had called their internet provider about some problems they were having and they sent a guy out. Right here, I am glad that the trip didn't take a downward turn, because it could have. I was not worried at all. I felt very safe. John went downstairs, promising me he wouldn't be gone long, and I just lay on his bed, looking up at the popcorn ceiling. The spirals upon cubic spirals upon prolapsing cubic spirals that I witnessed were quite a sight to behold. He came back up before the guy left, just to check on me, and he went into his closet, brought out a lot of plushies, and arranged them on the bed, around me, in such a way that I was basically in a cuddle pile, with only my face exposed. Just for reference, I am a very cuddly person. I looked over at him when he finished, and he was looking at me. I said "I love you so much." That was a very profound and precious thing that he did for me.

He went back downstairs and dealt with the internet guy for the next 10-15 minutes while I just kept on staring at the ceiling. It had a single light in the middle, one of those nipple lights, you know the ones I mean. I started to faintly make out a blue orb shape thing, surrounded by a grey backdrop. I plan on painting that as well. After just the blue orb, I saw from left to right, blue, green and red, the green one was slightly lower than the other two. I continued to look at the ceiling-spirals. When he came back, John asked me what song we were on and I said "Forty-six &amp; 2.' Absolutely positive." He started the music back up and he got into the bed and cuddled with me in the plushie pile. After a while, "Pushit" came on, and if you've heard that song, you know that part; the crescendo. That part is powerful sober. It's ethereal on LSD.

We sat up and I looked at one of the pictures I had taken. I had been taking a lot of pictures with my instax Mini9 analog camera. It was a picture of John and me. As I looked at myself in the picture, I said to myself "Who is that? ... Wait. Is that me? ... Wait. Me? I? I! Me!" At this point, I was back. Still tripping, but ego was back. Around T +6.

We finished Ænima, but didn't go to Salival or Lateralus. We cuddled. He went downstairs sometime during the night, it was still raining, and he went out to get the mail and put the trash can out. I followed him to feel of the rain in the darkness. (Turned my head to the sky, looked up and spread my arms wide, feeling the rain.) He didn't know that I had left the house with him, and he came over to me and said with a laugh, "get your butt back inside." and we both went inside chuckling. By this time, the experience was wearing off a little, I think it was T +10 hours. We went back upstairs and he brought out two dolphin plushies that he had; one big one and one little one. He gave me a choice of which one I wanted to take back home with me. I chose the smaller one and he said he would have recommended that one. It's still on my bed, next to me as I write this. We cuddled our dolphins. I still felt the effects well into 13 hours. At that time, we were going to sleep. I still felt it.

When I woke up, John and I cuddled.

The experience was beautiful, not at any point did I dislike it, hate it, or want it to be over. I loved it.

Knowing that no trip is ever the same as the last, would I ever want to do it again?

Absolutely.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115019

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Dec 26, 2020	Views: 685

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD

		 1 shot
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

Puppet show

Walking Masks

Sad but True

Fucked up Epiphany

or

How could I forgot the mirror!

I dont know how to call this letter. Take your pick. This was the good old naive days, when I was eager to learn, certain of the inevitable samadi, but still a bit scared by bad LSD propaganda. I was a beginner, but done enough trips to realize that if I had any latent psychotic trait or susceptibility to prolonged depersonalization or derealization syndrome, than I would have had it by now. In retrospective it wasnt the brightest period of my life. I was listening to blues and grunge, drank a lot and wasnt the best friend of myself.

I took a few days off, stocked my fridge, bought some blotters, barricaded all entrances and was planning to give a good slap to my shadow. To see if it fights back. I soaked two tabs in a shotglass of water at 4am, drank it at 5, and was watching the sun come up a little later. I wasnt yet affected, but it was still very pretty. I got sleepy in half an hour, laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. The kaleidoscopic hallucinations were in gold, red and green metal colour. First they tended to be in the forms of rapidly changing geometric snowflakes, then the size of the individual units got smaller, finally they assumed a pulsing fractal pattern. It started to change too quickly for comfort, so I opened my eyes. I was still sleepy and felt very cosy on the couch. I drank some water, and watched the walls starting to smoke. The walls are never perfectly white, and the shade of the little imperfections or flyshits or old nail holes started to move away from their sources, leaving nightblack afterimages behind them. It was a bit like smoke, or undulating grass in the wind. It was breathtaking.

I was sitting there for a long, long time. All objects and surfaces seemed to breath, inhale and exhale on their own accord, not in the same rhythm. Everything was alive and vivid and cryptic as if there were layers of meaning of everything that couldnt quite burst through my incomplete reading of them. I dont care if it sounds pretentious. Thats how it felt. I thought I want to dive into this noire atmosphere so I put on the headphones, and listened some Dead Can Dance, then on impulse I had put on the Hive soundtrack. I was trying to read a book, but the words evaporated very prettily as soon as my eyes moved over them. My periferic vision climbed closer to the center somehow. The „s”, the „g” and „y” letters grew slender offshoots and tendrils, and continued to overgrow the text as long as I didnt focus on them. I went back to bed because my skin became very sensitive to all contact as if my nerve endings got tripled. I thought the blanket will feel very nice on my skin. I was right. First I got a strong urge to share this experience with someone, but then I realized I just want to fuck, or rather make love slowly and lazily for a day or two.

I didnt want the trip to take this erotic turn, because I felt that something serious is about to happen. Something illuminating. So there is a long pause in the Hive soundtrack. I didnt notice that the music is gone until the next track started with a frightening 100db percussion. I was scared shitless. Then I got scared even more, because the big bang was partly caused by the door that slammed at exactly the same time, when the music started. I went out to the kitchen for I thought I left the window open, and the draft slammed the door between room and kitchen. The window was closed. I stayed scared for a while, but then I find a logical explanation: The window must have slammed the same time as the door did. Maybe it did. I had enough of Marilyn Manson. Changed it to Pink Floyd, but still felt restless. Finally I went out into the morning sunshine. I was walking the streets in a random pattern. It was about 9 or 10am, but few people around.

I had put on sunglasses to avoid pedestrians noticing my intense scrutiny. I was watching them because there was something very wrong with each and single last one of them. There was something wrong with their faces. They didnt change like a shapshifter’s, the features didnt flow or bloom like tar bubbles or moving reflections in a curved mirror. That was to be expected, but no. The faces were dead masks made of petrified organic matter; dead, unchanging, carved into a sometimes evil, sometimes idiotic, but mostly sad facial expression. I dont remember meeting any kids, but young people were not much different, than the old ones. I became very agitated, because I couldnt change this perception. Then I saw that there was something dark behind these masks that everyone was wearing, or attached to or appeared to be. First it was out of focus, I couldnt make out the details, but when I didnt concentrate on them, they became sharper.

There were pits behind the masks, with someone laying in each pit’s bottom laying in the foetal position. They were sleeping bodies –malnourished looking- in various states of decomposition. It didnt take a high IQ to know that they were the real dwellers of the body in deep sedation. I didnt know if they were dreaming the masks and the outside world through them, or the masks were parasitic organisms feeding on the sleepers. If they were the latter, the masks didnt seem to be aware of being parasites. It was a very disturbing experience. I felt an overpowering sorrow for mankind

I felt an overpowering sorrow for mankind

, and I wanted to cry but I didnt, because in my country men dont cry, especially not on the street. The whole thing was very sad, but I didnt want it to be over. I walked up and down the streets to meet anyone who was different. I guess I met 200-250 people on the streets. They were all zombies.

I went home, and tried to take my mind off this revelation. By mid afternoon only the physical sensations remained, and the closed eye visuals. I dont remember if I was familiar with C.G. Jung’s concept of persona at the time of this trip, but for me these masks and the persona mean the same thing now. When all the effects subsided did I realize that I missed my chance to look into the mirror and see if I was the same comatose stiff in the bottom of the pit like everyone else. I am still angry with myself ever since. I had a couple of acid trips since, all with lower doses, but I didnt gain anything even remotely close. I dont know if these were hallucinations. I am afraid I saw the truth.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 84976

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 27

Published: Dec 27, 2020	Views: 612

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 9:00

		 oral
		 Mushrooms

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   85 kg

This trip took place in the summer of '09, up in a wood/mountain area of southern Sweden, at a private psy-trance forest party.

I will try to write down everything I remember, even though I fear some of the details might have been lost in time. Do forgive me if I write in an odd manner or just spell stuff wrongly, I'm a Swede after all.

It was at this party, in a clearing in the middle of the forest, I took my first doses of both drugs in my life (I'll come to this later, as I wouldn't recommend doing this). This clearing was also at the top of a hill, so that the forest went downwards in every direction from the party. With a lake after about 100 meters in one direction.

I was there with 3 friends, one whom I knew really well, the other two I had just met. I was very careful picking this moment, as it felt safe to be with people who were (very) experienced with trips of this kind. I had also prepared mentally for this, reading up a lot about the drugs and their effects, and also got some advice from my friends (with how to handle certain scenarios, like 'bad feelings') which I think was of tremendous help looking back at things.

A short summary would be something like this: The LSD trip (from 07pm to 04am) was a very pleasant and calm experience which I experienced very 'solo', i.e. I had little social interaction during this period. The mushroom trip afterwards (from roughly 4am to 10am) was much more extreme, and even though it started out nicely and I liked it very much, it turned around on me and hit me like a truck and turned into a very scary experience.

To me, it felt like the LSD trip was controllable and that I could 'steer' it, and that the mushroom trip was the opposite, which scared me.

We scored some LSD at the party and 3 out of 4 of us took 1....piece or whatever you call it. One piece of paper. One dose. The fourth, one of the other's girlfriend, didn't take any and reassured me that she would take care of us (mostly me) and this helped a lot as I was a little nervous to say the least.

For the first 30 minutes - 1 hour I didn't feel anything at all and was constantly asking questions to my friends, probably driving them mad in the process. I was worried that I had bought too little and that it wouldn't affect me due to me being quite tall and big etc. They just kept saying that I definately shouldnt buy more and just wait and see. After a while the agreed that if nothing had happened after two-three hours I could buy more cause in that case I could've been unlucky and gotten a bad dose.

We were sitting on a blanket and I was talking to my friends when I suddenly got the urge to stand up and walk around a little. So I stood up and felt a bit...weird...and looked around at all the people also sitting in the clearing. I was wearing a hoodie and pulled it up and started to walk around. It was starting to get darker, so it was kinda in the twilight. After a while I noticed (note. everything I noticed/thought/experienced wasn't necessarily true, but it was how I perceived things at the moment) that people were looking at me in an odd manner from their places. I started to find it very funny that they were looking at me, and talked to myself in a mumbling manner about them looking at me. I noticed that I was starting to have troubles speaking normally, and I would only whisper and act (probably very) strange to people, whispering back and snickering at what they said to me if they approached me. I was starting to feel very happy, and I was starting to enjoy nature much more than before. As things got darker, I hid more and more inside my hoodie, walking around slowly or even sneaking among people, watching them and thinking they were really funny without managing to pinpoint WHY exactly. I was aware that I was tripping, but I didn't worry much about it and just rode it out.

2 hours after eating the dose the 4th (sober) friend asked if she could have my wine. I was still somewhat clear headed but still noticed I started tripping balls so I figured I wouldnt need the wine, so I said sure and asked her to lead me to the tent which was about 200 meters from the clearing, past some parked cars in a very secluded area of the forest, as I thought it probably would be nice with a calmer environment. When we arrived I, for the first time since I started tripping, noticed one of my friends again. For about 1 hour I had forgotten all about my friends basically. He was tripping in a bad way and was hiding in his tent for reasons unknown. For the first time I realized that they were tripping too and actually pitied the guy because he had a bad trip, but it didnt scare me, which I thought it would've.

I was waiting 10 meters away from the tent and it was almost pitch dark now, when things started going crazy. All of sudden I saw 4 figures standing in the woods about 10 meters from the path that lead to the tents. I might add that before I took the drug, I had promised myself to try to have an open and positive mind to everything I experienced. I think this helped me greatly on this first trip, as I greeted the figures and realized they were guardians of the forest, overlooking us people partying. I was not afraid at all, and talked into the forest at these shapes (of shadow, probably).

The sober girl came back and noticed me talking and asked what I saw and was very calm and listened carefully to my story. She was great help overall with her serene ways and I highly recommend someone like her accompanying you on your first trip.

As we walked back to the party things got even stronger, and I started losing my ability to talk more and more. I was replying with hmms, and mmms, and nods and shakes and usually needed to concentrate much to even whisper stuff to people. For a moment and tried very very hard and managed to speak normally for about 20 seconds to my friend, to test it, but it was pretty tough to do so I used those seconds to explain why I didnt talk, and she said it was cool and that I could just nod and use sign language if I had to tell her something.

Back at the party I suddenly noticed all of the torches and the big fireplace that was burning VERY brightly in the dark. I figured that something like this would happen and it was very awesome to watch the big fire crackle and burn.

For about 1-3 hours from now on I was only walking around between people, thinking everyone was sober but me, keeping to myself for most of the time, mumbling stuff to myself and now and then I would wander into the pitch dark, where I saw small shapes walk around in the woods. Or I so I believed I saw. I wasnt 100 sure I saw them, I might add. I was somewhat scared of them and usually just ventured into the woods when I had to pee from then on, always talking with them and saying I were their friend when I met them again. To make sure they wouldnt attack me. I guess I thought they were some kind of forest nymphs or elves.

After this period I sat down at the fireplace and noticed that I could speak somewhat decently again. Though I mostly sat silently watching the fire for the next hour anyway, and only spoke when spoken to, keeping conversations very short, but always smiled so that people wouldn't be offended. I was very self-aware at this point, and noticed that people watched me tripping, or at least thought I did. (Later on I heard that many beside me were tripping madly too, but it is supposedly very common that you dont notice other people tripping when you trip yourself)

I now noticed my closest friend, who I hadnt spoken to since I started tripping. He was watching me intensly and this was the first time I noticed that someone else was high than me. He was grinning at me BROADLY and I found this so hilarious that I had to hide lying behind people and just laugh out loud, which made him do the same thing. But we never approached each other or talked. I then lay over on my back and noticed the STARS and treetops. The trees were shimmering and the stars were moving very very fast but only in very very short distances from their original positions. I guess you could call it 'shaking'. Since it was a clearing, I saw the trees from both sides of the clearing, and faint arches of light were created. I was now in conversation with a girl who had taken mushrooms, and we compared our experiences. It was around 1-2am I guess and I was starting to come down. In Sweden the sun comes up VERY early this time a year, so it was maybe only 1-2 hours left of darkness, and I guess some light was already sipping in because when I went to pee in the darkness I saw LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of white flowers shining in the otherwise pitch dark. Im guessing that my eyes were so dilated that I could see the faintest amount of light reflected off these white flowers rather easily.

From now on I was just in a nice mood, talking with people again, having a good time, but still having some enhanced vision mainly. My friends were also doing this, and my closest friend was asking around for mushrooms. He eventually got some and ate a normal dose, I forgot how much. I think it was  like a handful. I can't remember what kind it was but I recall it having some kind of connection with South America, perhaps Mexican? I'm no drug expert, by far.

Anyway, he was chatting away with people and I was just reflecting my experiences for another hour or two, having a good time with people.

At around 4am I decided I wanted some mushrooms as well, I was feeling very bold at the moment. I wouldn't recommend this, looking back.

He managed to get me half a dose, which was half a handful, and apparently it was 'mixed' kinds of shrooms. I chewed them for about 1-2 minutes before swallowing, and was not worried. I didnt even ask alot about the effects. I was probably still high as fuck as my friend said my eyes were dilated to the max, but as the heaviest experience from LSD was behind me I thought I was totally not high anymore. Boy was I wrong.

Anyway, after about 30 mins I walked up and danced a little on the leafy 'dance floor'. Then it happened. I was suddenly seeing every leaf, and every 'pine needle' or whatever they are called, on the forest floor. In a way I was seeing EVERY OUTLINE of EVERY ITEM in the forest very very clearly. It was like a massive  information overload coming into my eyes. The filter that filters out unneccesary stuff in your vision...well it wasnt active anymore. I was seeing everything. Everything. At the same time.

A while later colours were starting to become much more saturated and bright. And the leaves and ground started to move very slightly. I wasnt sure at first if this was REALLY true or if I was just wishing it was true, but I got it confirmed later, very much so.

After a while the ground and leaves and needles started to move in very very complicated but somehow logical patterns. What was very cool was that they MOVED to the music. And in a way it was like watching one of those effect things in winamp or some other music program, a visualizer or whatever they are called. The patterns pulsed and moved sharply, with every base BOOM, and danced around the floor. Only when I focused BEHIND the forest floor I saw reality again, and I played with this for a while.

I this awesome experience of colours and patterns I felt euphoric  and smiled largely at everyone. Talking nicely and dancing. I decided to walk away a little in this happiness, along the path towards the cars again. The forest was so green that it almost hurt my eyes watching at it. And as I walked down the path I noticed that....my vision was very fucked up. For a while it was like walking on a treadmill, I was seeing the same portion of the path over and over as I walked, and sometimes it SKIPPED quickly to the right, and sometimes I saw two paths. It was moving and it made me dizzy. I decided I should go back to the party and just sit down and relax for a while when the BAD THING happened.

Probably to due walking around so much and not drinking enough water all night my lower leg seizured/cramped. It felt like I got 100 needles stuck in my leg and I wasnt able to walk. This triggered a sense of panic as I was alone, stuck on the path, and closest person was 200 m away from me. Even though I was in no risk of dying at all I felt very afraid and thought I was going to die on the path, I really did. I shouted some and a couple of people coming from the cars helped me back to the party where I sat down and drank a lot of water (as they recommended). But I couldn't fight the anxiety even though I sat still, and luckily enough my closest friend who was also tripping but not like me agreed to go back to the tent to help me ride out the bad trip.

Back at the tent we decided to get some sleep and just rest, but there was no room for us in the tent as it was occupied, so he got out a red/green/orange blanket and put it out on the floor. For a moment I forgot my fear laughed at the irony of bringing such a brightly coloured blanket to an occasion like this, as it was VERY VERY COLOURFUL  and had a very complicated pattern to begin with. I just went 'GAHHH, I CANT WATCH IT HAHA, NICE BLANKET FOR A TRIP DUDE' and he replied 'HAHA WELL, I DIDNT REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT, SORRY'. But my fear/anxiety stayed with me and I was lying on the blanket with my friend asking 10000000000 questions about everything related to the bad trip. If it was going to kill me, etc. He was at the same time having an awesome trip, and just replied in a positive manner to everything I said. Somehow it calmed me when I was talking, and I got more anxious when I was silent. So I kept talking for the whole duration of the bad trip, probably for at least an hour. I remember that it was very painful as I couldn't escape the effects in any way. If I was watching, I saw a SHINY GREEN FOREST with lots of mosquitos who each and everyone had a trail of light following them in the air. I saw every outline and every item still, and it was very colourful, and I hated it and felt so much regret for taking the mushrooms just after coming down on LSD. SILLY SILLY ME i kept repeating, what was I thinking? At its peak I almost phoned my family but my friend talked me out of it (luckily, HAHA).

After a while the anxiety finally wore off and I felt very relieved, even though the colours were still there and the outlines and detail too. You could say it was like if you took a picture of a forest, and outlined every thing in the picture with a black border, and increased color saturation so it became super colorful. That's how I percieved things. So we were walking around and talking and were being really meta-physical in our conversations, talking about what is real and what is real, and that what we perceive as real normally actually isnt more REAL than this. And it felt very clear to me. Suddenly I felt I understand every weird junkie I had talked with in my life. Haha. After a while we drove home and that was the end of it. Very special experience.

Oh one think I might add, I was throughout both trips experiencing what my friend called 'endorfintugg' or 'endorphin chewing' in english? + spelling. It was like a tics that made me cramp my jaw and sent tingling sensations from my jaw, down my neck and spine each time. My friend said it was because my body was releasing so much endorphines. I'm not sure what it was but all I can say was that I kept having these  sensations for 1-3 days after the trip.

That's about it. My fingers are exhausted from typing now so I'll stop.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 82500

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 24

Published: Jan 8, 2021	Views: 861

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

Mushrooms (39), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Entities / Beings (37), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   75 kg

Ineffable Experience

First of all what I’m about to write is not to push my beliefs or point of view although my experience has greatly affirmed what I believe in. In 2010 I went to a small festival in the village of Val, I had taken psychedelics before but the stuff that was going around this time was far more powerful than I could ever have imagined possible. I was not actually intending on taking drugs anymore but due to the circumstances and the relaxed vibe and all I decided to join in, the [Mad Hatter] LSD I got was cheap so I expected it just to make the party a bit more interesting and have a bit of a buzz

the [Mad Hatter] LSD I got was cheap so I expected it just to make the party a bit more interesting and have a bit of a buzz

. A few friends and I each took a dose but my friend and I having experience in psychoactive substances took half a dose more than the rest.

Usually LSD takes 30 to 45 minutes to start kicking in, this time however we started feeling the effects after 15 minutes and we realised soon that this was something very different. In the beginning of the trip we decided to eat something knowing that in the middle of a trip it can be hard eating because of the senses going a bit AWOL,  but even after only 15 minutes we could not get the food down, the French fries felt like they were squirting all their oil into our mouths and we could feel the oil running down our throats, we quickly abandoned the idea of eating anything and met up with our other friends who were also showing signs of slight paranoia. We decided to sit in a circle and meditate in order to calm down but this also didn’t help, the trip was getting stronger with each second and our bodies and minds didn’t quite know what to do, we tried a bunch of different things to distract us and stimulate our brains positively.

At one point we we all huddled into a tent trying to find a comfort zone from the frightening outside world (I found out later that I was the only one really freaking out, he others by this point had mastered their trip and were enjoying it). The tent helped for a bit until the paranoia entered the tent and I started even to fear my friends, their warped faces and loud distorted voices were making me very scared for some reason, possibly I was scared of what sometimes happens on acid, like wild orgies or complete loss of control, I was terrified of this loss of control and started to believe that I had no control over the situation or over my actions. I quickly got out of the tent and was confronted with really dark music playing from someone car next to our camp site, there were a few very negative characters playing Marilyn Manson's music, seemingly to bring the mood down or something. Immediately, thinking I have no control over my thoughts or my body the music turned into horrible shapes of demons and fire and monsters everywhere, I began to really freak out. My friends tried to calm me down and comfort me but at that point they too had become part of this horrible world outside of myself, which I was convinced was trying to destroy my soul, I felt like the only sane person although in actual fact I had lost it. I was looking around myself seeing people do things that didn’t make sense, why are people sleeping, why are they eating, what is the point! Why can't they just BE. I was screaming at my friends and was pushing very negative vibes thinking they had some terrible intentions with me, even my closest friend whom I love and trust with my life couldn’t calm me and I was afraid of him.

I ran into another tent that was empty telling myself I should just sit this thru, that the acid will wear off and everything will be ok. That tent turned into my own mental hell, I was being ripped apart by my own fear and I was experiencing horrible pain and suffering, it felt as if my bones wanted to grow out of my body. This madness went so far until I completely lost my mind and found myself drifting in a complete empty space, complete blank. I could see the world around me but nothing made sense, even my hands didn’t make sense, I couldn’t understand air, or very basic things, like I lost all memory of life. At this point I understood what it meant to truly loose your mind, I felt I could understand all crazy people on earth, what they must be going thru. Then the fear came that I might have turned some kind of switch in my brain and that I will stay like this even after the trip, I thought I would have to try explain to the people I live with, my parents, that I took some bad drugs and have gone crazy and that I would have to spend years in a mental institution and possibly die from all the medication they gave me.

I then tried to communicate with the people around me begging that someone take me home or call an ambulance or something, but no one wanted to help me (of course I understand this now, I was just someone having a bad trip and you don’t really call someone parents when you and they are on acid) so I started thinking of a plan, I must get away from this place, then like basic 2D animations I started to see things, like concepts. I was thinking of walking home which would probably take a week and I'd have to walk thru Johannesburg. This thought brought the question what are the dangers of that, I could die I thought, what is death? Then I saw visions of death, I saw planet earth with billions of little people walking over it from one side to the next, I saw spirits behind these people, I saw how the spirits were given bodies to walk on earth and live, I saw how when they reached the end, the body dies and the spirit was released. Then it was like taking a step back and looking at the whole picture, I saw how the spirits are part of one huge spirit in the centre of everything, I couldn’t quite look at this great spirit, it was like I was not permitted to look at it in this state but I was aware of it. It was god, a vast spirit made up of pure love, happiness and peace. Then looking back at my environment I saw time from the outside, I was not affected by it but I could watch it work. I was drifting in a state of eternity, no time at all and all time in one, every second of all existence was in one moment and could be seen from the outside. I saw time passing like frames in a movie, I was staring at this moment but I could see in my peripheral vision, the next frame and the previous one.

Seeing all this I sought comfort in my belief of Christ and I looked back in time and I saw in basic images how many frames of moments ago this major great spirit took on a body like ours of its own, very humble and perfect at the same time. This person was Jesus, walking across earth teaching people how to live, in peace, love and happiness and always connected to the Great Spirit, Jesus created a bridge for us, that by overcoming the layers of the ego and given up completely one could be set free from the ignorant mind trying to please itself with its identity on earth and in the process destroying its environment and the people around it. Seeing all this affirmed gave me great comfort and also seeing that there is no hell, that when the body dies the spirit is simply there where it has always been, with God. Then a bit relaxed I turned to the familiar faces around me and tried to understand what they are, what are they doing and why? Still not understanding that I was one of these characters myself. My friend offered me some Hookah (flavoured tobacco smoked thru a water pipe) I reluctantly accepted the pipe and watching the others I tried it for myself, the cool flavoured vapour entered my lungs and gave my body satisfaction, then suddenly another wave of realisations overcame me, feeling and tasting the smoke I realised why we are here. We have senses, hearing, taste, feeling, sight and smell, the Great Spirit created us out of love to experience this reality made for us, the earth is our playground filled with wonders and sights smells feelings ect. We are here to experience, to grow, live, interact with our bodies and voices and hands and feet, to create art and music and colour and enjoy our existence peacefully with all our brothers and sisters and in respect of our home planet.

At that point, maybe 5 hours into the trip, it was as if my entire vision got turned away from the blank empty confusion of madness and turned towards reality

maybe 5 hours into the trip, it was as if my entire vision got turned away from the blank empty confusion of madness and turned towards reality

, I saw visions of this reality and the spiritual. The spiritual realm or heaven as we call it was absolutely beautiful, it was just endless shapes and colours and psychedelic clouds of information every spinning and moving and swirling, each one of these shapes was affecting something in our reality in the universe, like one shape cause a particle of dust in the universe to move, so yeah there was a lot to see. I saw how all the spirits in existence, here or there were connected to each one of these moving shapes, meaning in the spiritual realm our spirits are connected to all the energy in existence and we can feel it and be aware of it, every question has a answer before asking it. Then in order to experience life in our universe our spiritual sight of everything is funnelled into human eyes and all the senses so that we can live and grow and influence things around us, it seemed that the reason for this existence would be to experience and live happily always connected to our creator thru the bridge he gave us, thru ultimate love peace and happiness. Understanding all this was like a huge awakening, I was overcome with extreme excitement, I was back in this reality knowing all these things and experiencing it for the first time, we started playing music, and for the first time I was playing my own beats on a drum, I realised that our bodies are like avatars driven by our spirits, or like human being machines, carefully designed for this reality to basically have a good time. Everything made so much sense now why people do the things they do, I could see how sad it was how some people miss the point of life by satisfying their egos with drugs, sex, power and money.

I started walking around and it was as if those were my first steps, like I was trying to operate this complex machine. The grass under my feet was a complete new feeling, in fact feeling itself was new and it was absolutely fascinating and enjoyable. I had a sip of wine and felt it go into my body and cause certain effects to my machine. I realised music entering my ears, being translated into rhythm which pulsated thru my body causing it to move happily. It was like being a baby with a full consciousness. I looked around me at the kaleidoscope shapes happening everywhere still from the acid, and it was like I was looking at things I saw all the time but only fully appreciated now, like a flower growing and moving and changing, it felt like this is what you have been seeing but look closer and see how beautiful it actually is. I looked at trees and saw them not as my limited human brain sees and tries to label things, it wasn’t a tree it was this amazing organic THING growing out of our home planet, giving fruit and shade and wood. I saw how amazingly beautiful my friends were and understood that “friends” are just other spirit driven avatars that have decided to enjoy life with you, enjoy the walk. I kept on apologizing to them that I had earlier screamed at and feared, but now understood. Life had been made so simple and easy to understand, there were no more missions, just walk thru life and enjoy, no need to spend life working, simply trust in the creators providence and walk thru life enjoying, creating, playing music and doing art and enjoying, but of course with respect. Knowing not to get lost in the pleasures of life as the ego driven ones do and thus causing harm to themselves and others and our planet.

The rest of the trip went on beautifully and was just a celebration of life, the reggae band playing music then made so much sense, they were full of peace and love and were actually just trying to spread inspiration to live a healthy and happy life and to be at peace with those around you and always stay connected to Jah. Living like this I realised is perfect, with god as the provider one can truly simply travel and experience and help others and spread love, peace and happiness and awareness of course. Yeah that is my ineffable experience, it took me years actually afterwards to fully understand it and put the pieces together and live happily and simply. A main question afterwards was, what are psychedelics here for? My uncertain conclusion is that they are very powerful medicines, not to be played with, but meant for those who miss the point of life, perhaps like a reminder. But I think understanding all these things one should not take these medicines, its like taking painkillers although one has no headache. These things are for the sick and if taken too much could end up in a disconnection from this reality and inability to communicate with others and altho drifting in full understanding of everything, missing the point of life, we are not meant to know all of this all the time, otherwise there would be no point of life, growing, experiencing, influencing.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 96975

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Jan 10, 2021	Views: 580

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 4 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

		   T+ 0:00
		 5 shots
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 2:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

		   T+ 6:00
		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   150 lb

O.K. I'm sure that I'm going to leave a lot of stuff out, but this is what I can remember about the WORST trip of my life. Some of my college friends had come down to chill with me for a few days during Christmas break. They brought some doses called 'jurrassic park' that had little pictures of dinosaurs on them. The friend who had supplied the hits said they were awesome, and the rest of us took him at his word. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

We had about half a sheet of this shit, and me being the experienced acid veteran that I was, decided to pop 4. My other friends took 2 each, and we decided to walk to the park to chill and wait for the acid to take effect. We had brought along some good weed, and a fifth of jack to help pass the time (lol) while waiting. It was around 6pm when we made it to the park. Well, we toked up and did a number on our bottle, and no one was really talking about the acid yet. I was starting to get pissed as it was now 7pm, I had taken 4 hits and felt nothing. I got up to take a piss behind a tree and then it hit me. It was fucking intense.

We were in the woods and suddenly everything started flashing like a strobe light had been turned on. Somehow I found my friends at a picnic table under a little pavilion in the center of the park and was like 'shit dude...you guys feel it yet?' They confirmed that they were too frying balls now (8pm now). This is where it starts getting freaky. I was into a lot of the cheesy 80's horror movies at the time, and we were in the woods. So I started seeing Jason from Friday the 13th running around in the trees with a machete.

I kept trying to warn my friends that we needed to get the hell out of here, but they'd just hand me a bowl and tell me to chill. The flashing strobe light effects were getting stronger and stronger, and I was having tunnel vision. After they convinced me that Jason wasn't really in the woods and reminded me I was on a shit load of acid, I decided to try to chill.

After they convinced me that Jason wasn't really in the woods and reminded me I was on a shit load of acid, I decided to try to chill.

 I packed another bowl and smoked it to myself. Then I polished off the jack and decided to lay back on the bench of the picnic table to help me relax. It worked and I was like cool.

I laughed with everyone about how freaked I got over thinking Jason was gonna kill us and shit, and everything seemed like it was going to be all right. It was now about 12am btw. The flashing lights, however weren't subsiding at all. They were growing and growing with more intensity. It was cool as hell because I like strobes. But it was kinda scary too because I knew we were in the middle of the fucking woods and there couldn't possibly really be lights doing that.

At this point we decided it would be cool to relocate to my house. I was like 'just let me finish this cigarette'. I finished and attempted to sit up. Holy Shit! it hurt. I mean it really fucking hurt! My back felt like someone stabbed me or something. I totally couldn't sit up, or even move my legs. It sucked because my friends didn't know what to do to help. They just sat with me and talked to me trying to 'talk me down' I imagine. But I wasn't tweaking out. I couldn't fucking move!

I was literally paralyzed for about 2 hours. But it felt like an eternity and hurt like hell. That acid kicked my ass, and I read somewhere that the strobe patterns I was seeing all night was probably my central nervous system shutting down. Scary shit dude.

Exp Year: 1996	ExpID: 12152

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jan 15, 2021	Views: 1,046

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

Alcohol - Hard (198), Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3), General (1), Health Problems (27), Nature / Outdoors (23), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 hit
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00

		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   110 lb

I’m writing this trip report now because although a lot of time (almost a year) has elapsed since my one &amp; only experience with LSD, I’m still processing the experience and I think providing a narrative of my experiences could definitely be of use to some potential trippers.

My trip took place sometime around January or February of 2014. Prior to this trip I had minimal experience with drugs—only cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana (which I smoked about 3 days a week and enjoyed quite a bit although it hadn’t really provided any profound insights). I was beyond excited to try LSD, although in retrospect I wish I had had some sort of goal for my acid experience

I was beyond excited to try LSD, although in retrospect I wish I had had some sort of goal for my acid experience

 (rather than just wanting to see pretty visuals)…by the time I actually got a hold of it, I was elated. I bought 2 tabs, and I intended to trip with a friend (we’ll call her J), so the intention was only to consume 1 tab. J picked me up from my dorm around 5 pm along with my other friends JO and K, and as it was snowing and there was a lot of traffic on the way to her apartment, I ended up dosing with 1 tab (I really have no idea how much LSD was actually on each tab) around 5:30 p.m. in her car.

By the time we got to her apartment, it was around 5:45 and anticipation had set in. I sat on the couch for a while waiting for some kind of effect to set in. I knew that it took anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for the trip to begin, but within an hour the only effect I had noticed was that lights had a magnified intensity and would sometimes trail across my vision. I asked J if she would be fine with me taking the other tab because I didn’t want to waste the experience on such a mild dosage. J said it was okay, although I still feel a little bad that she didn’t get to trip with me that night. I took the other tab and sat back down on the couch. (I was super cautious about trying to ingest all of the LSD that I could, I so would leave the tabs under my tongue for as long as I possibly could and then I would chew them up and swallow). I played with J’s cat as J, JO, K, and S (another friend) all sat around and began playing video games. J’s cat was way too into the toy I was playing with her with, and all of a sudden she leapt up and scratched right across the middle of my face. Significantly (I think), I didn’t feel the least bit upset over this development—I was bleeding right down the center of my face and had a pretty nasty scratch, but I couldn’t find it in me to be upset or stress myself out over it.

I went to the bathroom to clean up my face, and it was then that the trip really set in. I began to stare down at the bathroom sink, and suddenly the marble began to ripple. I was captivated—I looked up, and the lights above the mirror seemed to be pulsating. They had a warm, bright, white energy. J had a painting of a corgi behind the toilet, and as I looked at it I felt the painting burst into life and began to feel very seriously that the corgi was a real character living in J’s bathroom. I felt overwhelmed—happy, definitely, but overwhelmed by the new sensory input and like I was being granted a very special privilege by being allowed to access these visions. I heard talking outside the bathroom and knew that I should probably go back out and join my friends, but I didn’t want to leave because I felt so warm and sweet and secure in the little yellow bathroom. K eventually came to get me, and I tried to make her stand in the bathroom with me to stare at the lights, which only made her frustrated b/c she couldn’t perceive any of the same things as me (it must have been horribly boring for her). She convinced me to leave, and J and JO told me that I’d been standing in the bathroom for almost an hour. That was a surprise. I knew LSD could alter your perception of time, but I was amazed that I’d been so immersed in those visuals that I’d allowed myself to stand there for so long.

I tried to experiment with closed eye visuals for awhile, but they were much less captivating to me than open eyed ones. I don’t really think that the visuals I experienced were extraordinary along the spectrum of things you can perceive under the influence of LSD, but they were still intensely and overwhelmingly beautiful. I found that with enough concentration, I could influence the colors of the walls, although throughout most of the trip everything had an electric pink or purplish hue with occasional flashes of red. Dimensions shifted—the ground no longer seemed flat, and everything took on a more cartoonish shape but still seemed perfectly simple to navigate. The walls didn’t “breathe” per se, but they (along with the carpet) were covered in swirling geometric patterns that I devoted a lot of the trip to contemplating. At several points throughout the trip, I would feel so overcome with happiness that I’d start to cry, which I think was upsetting/alarming to my friends…I couldn’t really find the words at the time to explain to them that I was only crying because everything was so perfect and magical. It sounds trite trying to explain it now, but that’s really how I felt at the time—that everything was perfect, that I had a pure soul and I was capable of conjuring up beautiful worlds and that there really was a strong benevolent force at work in the universe.

This was around the time of the Olympics, so S put on men’s figure skating. Yuzuru Hanyu was skating. I wasn’t that interested in the TV, but I was amazed by how much emotion he was able to convey through his movements. I started thinking about the desert, and how I wished I could be out somewhere in the heat on a wide open space and really feel the immensity of everything. My friends and I decided to go outside to smoke cigarettes (I’ve since given up smoking), and I was glad to have a chance to experience the outdoors even though it was just for a fraction of the trip. It was the middle of the night, but the sky looked hot pink and the snow was intensely reflective and crystalline. My cigarette tasted sweet, much sweeter than a cigarette should taste.

The rest of the night was essentially spent dawdling about. Eventually, all my friends went to bed…because I’d dosed relatively late, I wasn’t able to fall asleep until around 6 a.m. This was the more unpleasant part of the trip. I felt uncomfortable being left alone, but I felt bad vocalizing that to anyone (they needed their sleep!), so I allowed myself to be left out in a dark room by myself. I tried listening to music (Björk), but frankly it sounded scary and by that point I just wanted to be able to fall asleep. I began to panic a little bit, because I was really uncomfortable with not being able to read things properly or immediately grasp their meaning. I did eventually fall asleep, and the next day I felt totally normal again. However, I had a really unpleasant experience that following day involving way too much weed and a subsequent panic attack. I think this was the result of way too much caffeine + weed and not LSD.

I don’t intend to drop acid again. I had a really positive and uplifting experience, and I don’t want to mar that by risking a bad trip. I’m also really frightened of research chemicals—a boy from my high school recently died from NBOME, so I definitely advise anyone who wants to do LSD to buy a testing kit and try to ensure that they’re actually taking the drug they intend to take. I do wish I had experienced some more profound insights or had enacted a more spiritual mentality during the time of my trip, but I can say that the effects I did experience have lingered with me and I feel lucky to have had the experience. I definitely intend to do shrooms sometime in the future, but I want to make sure I’m in the right headspace before doing that.

I would try to dose early on (not in the late afternoon or at night) ; eat beforehand, but eat healthy and light ; have a trip sitter, preferably someone who has experience w/ psychedelics ; and try to go outside for a little.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104804

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 18

Published: Jan 17, 2021	Views: 579

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:

		 1 drop
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   128 lb

Before I had ever taken any LSD, I smoked cannabis daily since the age of 14, and had spent years learning of meditation and yoga, I have always had a positive outlook on life and have lived with love from the minute I was born. I never felt like I had anything to worry about, but this had often lead to carelessness, and mischief. I had also spent years researching LSD and experimenting with cough syrups and mushrooms I found growing in the forest, just hoping for the visions and experiences of those reported in the 1960s.

At the age of 19, I started taking LSD regularly, at least once a week. But the most powerful experience was my first one, and this is the documentation of that experience.

My friend who was going off to college, contacted me when I was in bed about to sleep one night, she wanted to spend one last night with me and her 3-year boyfriend before going off to college. She had decided that she wanted us to all take some MDMA and I live in Texas, where this drug is common in certain late night dance clubs. So we arrived at the club at around 11:30, and her boyfriend was too young to enter so me and her went in and after a brief stroll, I heard someone my age saying ' ecstacy ' and asked him if he had any for sale. But something inside me, after years of research, had to know if he also had LSD, so I asked, and he did. I was so excited, he put one drop in each of our mouths and we bought an ecstacy pill for our friend, he told us that he was close to the chemist and the drop of liquid he dropped in my mouth contained little over 300 micrograms of LSD.

Dose ingested: 11:57. We rushed to the car, and started driving to my house, I turned on 'alans psychedelic breakfast' by pink floyd, and were silent with anticipation the entire drive home, other than saying how nice it was to see each other again after about a year apart.

It took 45 minutes to get home and we decided to go to the large golfcourse by my house to spend our time. So I grabbed my guitar and my cannabis, but we all gathered on my back porch to wait for the drugs to work.

12:07: I began to feel rather drunk, and dizzy and encouraged my friends to start walking with me to the golf course. I was filled with joy and a little anxiety as I walked down the street, I was completely overwhelmed by this strange intoxication, and just as we opened the gate to the golf course, I felt as if I was separating from my body, like I was becoming all of the molecules that made up my body and slowly merging with everything around me. I noticed that I was no longer, me.. I was just everything, I was the rolling hills of the golf course and I was every atom that makes up the oxygen in the air between me and the trees, and I was the trees too. I then became completely overwhelmed by unbearable love for everything.

As soon as I began to love, my vision became that of a wildly exotic kaleidoscope, everything, the ground, the trees the hills were geometric, and they were all spinning beautifully in a kaleidoscope, then I had recognition, that everything I see, is only what it is (sober) because of perception, and I had been so far off my whole life, there is no work, no school, no friends, and no self, just love, pure and unconditional love I saw that everything that was anything to me was that way because I made it to be that way, good or bad, when there was really, neither. I had a brief instance of the return of self, which was glowing with the awkward perception I have of my self, but then I just felt intense love in me center of my chest, as this huge sphere rolled towards me, it had thousands of small tiles on it, like a disco ball, each of which was a different angle of my face, all laughing, and they changed as my mood changed. I was literally watching my self, and seeing these perceptions I used to have, and as I tried to evaluate them, it all just became holy, like any thing I did, any way I felt, each movement I made was a reaction to the perception I had of 'negativity' and became a path way to love, or god, as I moved or responded in a way that would provide comfort or understanding to me, like I was just transforming the negative to positive, seeing as how I was only uncomfortable until I was comfortable, and seeing that everything was one and there was noting but eternal love, I, at that point, had no need for hate, negativity, sorrow, or emotion for that matter. I felt like it was the first time I had ever woken up. All the patterns around me, everything I knew as grass or trees or outside was just dancing, singing and loving me.

The visual hallucinations were becoming almost too intense and were starting to give me a headache, and so I grabbed my pipe and tried to pour my cannabis into if from my grinder but I was having so much trouble even sitting up straight that all of my bud was just poured onto the ground. I could only laugh. I got back up and tried walk over to my friends , who had gone their own ways since we had gotten to the golf course.

As I walked, the hills grew and shrunk, and changed colors vividly from blues to purples to electric yellows. The sky changed colors too, but it was never the same color as the hills, just as vivid, but never the same. As I looked up at the stars, could see them moving around, like watching bacteria under a microscope, but they also had lines connecting them, like the pictures you see that depict constellations.

I found my friends and sat down to play guitar, me and my friend also on acid were the only ones sitting down, the ecstacy was apparently bunk for my buddy. I played 'wish you were here' by pink floyd, and beautiful colors swayed in front of me as the tones changed, I could see the smiling faces of my family growing out of the colors and forming in front of me as if they were the colors-as my feelings changed at different points of the song, like I was matching their energy at times of their life, it was like we were all experiencing it together, and right then I knew, that I have no mom, and no dad, and we are all the same person, one thing, were just a group of molecules multiplying and dying, were all just love. Beautiful, eternal love.

My sober buddy wanted to leave, and me and my friend were so 'at peace', that we just got up, though as we started to leave everything just kept growing in intensity.

As we walked I attempted closing my eyes because I could feel waves of energy flowing through me that were just growing in intensity, and I was trying to escape the harsh electric feeling that would shoot through me as they passed, and every time I closed my eyes I didn't want to open them again, it was like there were different things to be seen every time I closed them, the first time I shut my eyes, a cloud formed in the center of my vision and faces of things I had seen in my childhood started growing and shrinking out of the contours of the cloud, Gumby, Bugs Bunny, and finger puppets my sisters used to play with me with, grew and became love, then shrink back into the cloud.

As I walked down the street I closed my eyes again, I saw flashes of hamsas, and symbols I have seen that describe certain religions, crosses, stars, people, such as saints I have never seen before and hindu gods, just ever changing in front of my eyes, morphing into each other... They were all one, still I saw only love behind all of them, as if there is no religion, because it appeared to me that I WAS god, and (to me) jesus was just a sage, or a guru, trying to tell people about love-or the pathway to understanding, oneness, unity or in my eyes 'the godhead'. I was jesus. I was buddha. I was, the universe. And it didn't matter if it was moses, or muhammad, it was and to me, is always- just a groovy trip to the center, where you just become it all, and you just love.

My friend drove us to his house, as it was a safe place to be on a hallucinogen, and I couldn't tell you more than 10 seconds of that 30 minute car ride because of all of these visions, colors and shapes I had that kept me from actually seeing the road, or even being able to comprehend that I was in a car, it was absolutely mind blowing, one of the only things I can tell you is that at one point, the car, with everyone in it had shrunk to a size of a molecule and soaked into my skin, then I was tied right back in to the visuals.

As I started to come down from the trip and realize that 'I' had problems again, but patterns would infuse them selfs into those problems and show me that its my perspective that created them and that there not real and I was still part of this ever changing love. One of the last hallucinations I had was a border on the top and bottom of my line of sight, like I was looking at a computer, they were dancing skeletons, not scary just rejoicing, as if to say, 'thanks for coming and meeting us, we will always be here, but remember, that we never were'.

LSD changed my life, and each experience was different, but the message of love was in all of them.

[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 107000

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Jan 18, 2021	Views: 589

[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ]
[ Switch Colors ]

LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)