		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 7:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 8:00
		 0.5 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 oral
		 Tea

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   136 lb

It was a Sunday, winter morning on the driest inhabited continent. I was sleep deprived...as usual.

It was barely 7°C/44.6°F.

I was wearing a black baseball hat, a large black overcoat, a black long-sleeved shirt, black jeans and carrying a black sports bag. I was waiting outside a busy railway station. I downed my energy drink and chain-smoked cigarettes in the cold. It was roughly 10am. I clutched my sports bag and hugged my coat as I was being punished by the wind.

I had made contact with someone over social media a week ago. We had 1 mutual friend. We both shared a fascination with a man named Dimitri- who supposedly owned a pet toad. This internet friend knew a pal of mine (whom I had last spoken to 8 years ago). These 2 were acquainted through working together at a tech start-up recently. We exchanged details and one thing led to another, I am now waiting for him to arrive at this very railway station as I anxiously lit up another cigarette. He arrived.

I asked him sheepishly, "Well, if you're law enforcement you should let me know, now." We snickered.

The plan today, was to attend an event made by and for some like-minded individuals who may or may not provide us assistance in our search for Dimitri. Then I'd stick around my new acquaintance's house. The meeting was situated at a public park near the Central Business District. We took a bus and conversed. We shall call this new friend A. A. and I had some common interests. We both liked our video games, we were studying something in STEM, we were both university students, not too religious and into experimenting and experiencing the night life. The meet and greet at the park panned out a little differently. I did not know what I was expecting. People with dyed hair? People wearing trenchcoats? People plastered with facial piercings? Wearing provocative makeup? I wrongfully assumed people who delved into this realm would look quite alternative. We were greeted by a gentleman wearing smart casual attire with glasses and a neat haircut. We sat down and discussed briefly where the other members of this meet up would be.

To my surprise, the attendees were a little older than expected but appeared identical to your everyday person walking down the street. We sat down in nature on a picnic rug and tuned in on a podcast. A. and I decided to cut the meeting short. We exchanged goodbyes with the group and swapped details with our friend who donned glasses. We trekked for some lunch. My appetite was almost non-existent. A. feasted on a lunch jampacked with protein and carbohydrates. We took the bus back to his end of town.

I dumped my black coloured sports bag onto his white bed sheets and pulled out a zipped, transparent ziploc bag no larger than the size of a baby's palm.

"Well, A.,"

"This is it. Meet Lucy..."

I took out 2 paper blotter tabs, each containing 330μg of Lysergic acid diethylamide. They were miniscule in size, appearing only a fraction larger than a fingernail.

It was A's first time seeing Lucy. He has consumed a decent serving of mushroom pizza a few times in his life and has been an exchange student in California. He had been acquainted with Buddy who now legally lives in California- who goes by the nickname “Bud".

It was 2pm on a Sunday Afternoon. I was coughing a lot. I had just cut up a single square tab into 2 with a pair of green scissors. A. and I decided to go halves on a 330ug tab. I do not recall anything too specific with A. such as instructing him to have it under his tongue or swallowing instantly.

3pm. For whatever strange reason, as of late... Whenever I consumed illicit substances, I always felt very nauseous, restless, have coughing fits and will always glue my body to the couch or bed. That day was no different. I laid in A's bed, tucked myself under the sheets. My respiratory rate was in shambles, and I was shivering a lot. I am unsure if this was my anxiety coming out, leaving or me being physically cold. There was a drop in mental clarity at this point. The come up was a little intense for me. I began to see the introductory visuals, in his white ceiling. The walls began to breathe gently. I asked A. how he was doing. A. faced the television and played some Red Dead Redemption peacefully, whilst laying on a beanbag chair on the floor. He mumbled. "It'll happen soon."

I told A. I might go for a nap, A. stated he does not think that is a good idea. I agreed, I remembered a trip where I fell asleep a year or 2 ago with my friend Lucy, only to find myself terrified and trapped as a particle, all in the whilst experiencing deja vu every 30 seconds. Some of us have this voice In our heads that reads for us, that voice was more intrusive for the entirety of the night.

4:30pm. I recounted on my trip of 3 weeks ago under a similar dose which was a little more intense. I tried to rationalise what was happening. I told myself it is because that day I was sleep deprived, not in the right mindset, stressed about class and had not tripped in months. The current closed eyed visuals weren't as apparent, but they were significant. It felt like tiny hands of light waving at me. A. was now seated near me at the bed, next to my feet. He nodded his head up and down as he put his phone on airplane mode. I do not recall him moving from the beanbag chair on the floor to this bed, I gazed at the strobe lights which appeared as my eyes closed as A. decided to go on a rampage in his video game. It was different to my usual trips. I absorbed the gunfire, horses and people dying in battle as I closed my eyes again, I immersed myself into the boots of a cowboy in my head. A. continued to mash buttons on his Playstation 4 controller violently, as I momentarily lived out my life as an outlaw in the 1800s with my eyes closed and mind wide open.

In my mind I had ridden the fastest horse in the United States. It was a Mustang breed, A. informed me. Clever. I thought in my head. I tried to draw the connection with horses breeds, horsepower, cars and car manufacturing brands as well as the video game’s plot and setting.

6pm. Winter here, dictates that the sun be absent by this hour. The room was painted a greyish blue tint. We did not have the lights on. The colours from his gaming console and TV shunned a little brighter and were slightly more alluring. Typing with his video game controller and replying to messages on my phone became a lot more tedious. The digits on our mobile phones which told us the time really liked to dance. I blinked a few times and surely the hands on my clock app waved to me a little. A magnitude of brainpower was required to complete an action as simple as microwaving a cup of tea.

6:30pm. I went to urinate into the toilet. Again. My urine was brownish-green. That can't be right...I blinked a lot, and thought how irritating it was to go to the toilet so frequently. It must be all that black tea and caffeine I consume. I tried explaining that to whoever was listening. I grimaced as my feet touched the cold bathroom tiles. The bathroom lights felt more active in comparison to when I first arrived. They seemed a little more energetic and liked to tweak themselves providing me with an occasional wink.

7pm. A's bed was hot, his electric blanket provided me with a great deal of warmth and comfort. We decided it's time to go for a walk. As he locked the front door, I thought to myself: It was A's first time with Lucy but I felt an element of role reversal was in play as it was as if he was looking after me. In my mind I questioned if A. eating a heavy meal, his weight, metabolism and it being his first time affected the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics because we seemed to be on a different wavelength. I dropped that thought, we decided to go venture for food. Strange. I am often left physically disgusted at the idea of eating or drinking during times like these. I have nil desire for food when Lucy was around, but nonetheless I obliged.

9pm. A. mentioned he wanted to do a marathon and had been practising on this very park. My body's poor circulation meant that the cold was not for me. But the streetlights, the breeze, the ambience and the architecture of this city made it all worth it. This view was second to none. I had forgotten how gorgeous and bewitching this city was in the evening. We were bothered only by the presence of the occasional person jogging or a local resident going home after a long days’ worth of work. We walked and marvelled at the luminescent light that lived in the water. The water was dyed jet black and it sighed deeply. This body of water could easily have been consumed by “***” or whoever/whatever as a cup of black tea. Something as simplistic as the refraction on the water would capture my attention for minutes at a time and send me to another dimension of thoughts. The water would radiate, and the reflective streetlights would warp itself into that water with every involuntary or voluntary movement the liquid made. I complimented on A's neighbourhood. We sat down on a wooden park bench and stared into the winter night. I lit up a cigarette. The moment felt sublime, staring at this harbour was one of most soothing and tranquil moments I have experienced in a while. I almost did not understand the blessings, conditions, chain of events and fate combined with the aesthetic value presented to me at this very moment. We spoke about ignorance, our upbringings, partners, attending music festivals, clubbing, our preferences when looking for a significant other and what we pictured in our future. A. was very composed, articulate and oddly insightful the whole time. We navigated our way back to A’s. I’m sure I asked him how he knew the way back without using his phone. I do not recollect his response.

"We're having pizza for dinner," A. tells me. A. ordered pizza for delivery on his phone. There were moments of pauses as he struggled to figure out how to process this order to the right address, at the right time with the right amount of food.

"I've never ordered pizza like this." A. whispered. He then stared at his phone with full focus.

***We end up being interrupted by A's roommate who we shall call B****

B comes out the front door flicking his lighter aggressively at a pipe.

I smiled, "Hey, Buddy."

I smirked. "Rare to see another pipe smoker." I exclaimed.

B. says, "No kidding, but it's just easier, more portable and convenient."

B and I speak briefly; the usual smokers' spill regarding prices, our history with smoking, rolling paper and my inability to roll cigarettes. I ended up bartering with him. I offered a my favourite tailor made cigarettes. I pulled out my own blue metallic pipe as he generously filled my piece all the way to the top with his favourite herb.

I thanked him.

The night was still young. I sparked up. It was now B., A., Lucy and I. When suddenly, Miss. Jane, who goes by Mary, had now graced us with her presence. The coldness of the night was very contrasting with the environment I was in. It felt very warm to speak to such hospitable and open individuals. B spoke to me about his experiences with feeling alive and euphoric on narcotics whilst he was working as a DJ. He had not been on a trip in almost 10 years. I suggested to him that, Lucy was still available to see him as she will not leave unless she decides to see A. and I again tonight.

B. was apprehensive.

The food delivery person came, Mary was a very calming figure to be around. Usually when I was with Lucy I struggled with social interactions and would be on the edge of the seat. Tonight, I wasn't. I lit up another cigarette, as A. grabbed his food. Mary whispered. My appetite greeted me. I never felt hungry around Lucy, but tonight was unique. I ate. A. devoured this meal whilst I ate slowly. We watched a video of the most rarest slices of beef in this world being consumed by person in Japan in 1st person POV.

There was still a tab of 330ug of acid left on the bedside table. I somehow convinced A. to finish what we started. He was hesitant, but I somehow persuaded him using some pseudo math I conjured up. I am unashamed to say, that I'm not above lying to get what I want.

10pm. Lucy came over again. I advised A, that Lucy would not be as active and present in our conversations this time around, as tolerance is a word in the dictionary.

10:30 pm I fiddled with a Rubik's cube before playing some acoustic guitar. We listened to some Nirvana and enjoyed some guilty pleasures in the music world. A and I watched some anime. This second hit felt lighter and I did not feel so nauseous. I drank lots of black tea throughout the night. We watched some of A's favourite animes and we spoke about how he viewed anime as something of value to him, as he tried to apply certain principles in them into his life. I liked the idea. A certain video regarding human consciousness, healing, kindness and gratitude brought me to the verge of tears.

11:30pm the room was suddenly filled with an air of openness, we spoke on different matters regarding religion, work, society, what we desired in life and the drugs habits of individuals we knew. I felt even more extroverted and welcoming now. I invited A. to my place whenever he pleased as I was on a small break from work and study.

12am Midnight. Someone knocked. We looked at each other with eyes wide open.

"Is someone there?" I asked A.

"Come in?" said A.

The door creaked open, it was B. B invited me to the front porch to see Mary one last time. I sipped on another cup of black tea and spoke to Mary and B.

"Quite some night, aye?" Asked B.

"Sure is, let me get your details, you like Asian food, video games, cigarettes and dessert?"

B smiles.

"Sounds like fun."

2am. A. and I were open to the possibility of ordering more food. Nothing gourmet or wholesome would really be open during these hours. Lucy was still here. We ended up walking to a 7-11 to feed my nicotine addiction.The automatic door was locked. The clerk opened it.

"Hey, how can I help?"

"Just after some cigarettes." I said. With Lucy by my side the next 3 minutes felt like an hour. It was a struggle with me, asking for different cigarettes each time and coming up short on cash 4 times. I am short-sighted and unable to read the prices of cigarettes mounted onto the wall which lead me to estimating how much cash to provide, failing to pay sufficiently each time; the clerk became agitated at this and thoughts began to unravel.

"Wait... does he know?"

"He knows, he's onto us."

"Oh no, he's going to call the police on us."

In my mind I was so fixated with the notion that this was a drug deal or mugging under the influence gone wrong.

The clerk coughed. I snapped back into reality.

"You sure, you don't need some sleep?" - The clerk politely asks.

I could picture the look on my face. A 22-year-old with pizza stains all over his face, with pupils the size of dinner plates, reeking of cigarettes and poor life decisions. I reassured him and said, "Yup, just getting my smokes, so I could have one then off to bed." I offered him a fake smile as a ticket of proof from someone sane and sober. A. paid for the cigarettes, A. apologised to the clerk and we walked off hurriedly. Lucy and I told A that this little incident did set off a small bout of negative thoughts in my head.

"A, I swear that looked like we were trying to rob the place, does it look like we're on meth or something?"

"it's fine."

"I almost felt like stealing those cigarettes and running..."

I reflected and opened to A. about my inclination to steal things in the past and also when I’m under the influence.

“I almost stole a bicycle a few days ago, because it was left in the open…”

"have your cigarette, relax and let’s get you another cup of tea." A. replied.

2:30 am. It was now pitch black in A's room. I enjoyed a mini firework display within as my eyes closed. A was getting ready for bed. Strange I thought, I always struggled to get some shut eye, after spending a night with Lucy.

3am. For some reason, I began fiending for some cold pizza. I dug through the crumbled brown paper bag and surely inside the cardboard box was a half-eaten slice. I ate it and smiled from ear to ear. In my mind I slowly envisioned myself as a homeless person, who was going through some black rubbish bags looking for some food, maybe some water, or just anything. That homeless person is just seeking a crumb of sustenance or a drop of hope. I ate a few bits of bacon, beef, and a pathetic looking crust before gently placing the empty box down. We just had a meatlovers pizza, I could have sworn, those brown bits were beef. Isn’t A. Hindu???

4am. A. snored loudly, Lucy was still here with me. I started reflecting on my day. I constantly found myself leaving A's room to the frontyard to speak to a cigarette in the cold.

5:30am. Our conversations earlier that evening manifested into my mind. All I could think of in my mind was about being thankful, grateful and thinking positive. I blinked and the words positive thinking arrived visually in pink bold letters and echoed inside my head as if I yelled into a hollow cavern of sorts.

6:00 am. I showered. For some odd reason, the only thoughts in my head were about the amount of privilege I have, to be able to have hot running water at the touch of my fingertips. It was beyond me, the progression of engineering and science which allowed me to be able to literally turn on a tap to access clean running water. I felt almost unworthy to experience this luxury. I stared into my reflection on the cracked and stained bathroom mirror. A hot water shower is someone else's alone time and morning ritual, and possibly what motivates them to go to work each morning... to live within society and reap its innovations and rewards. I blinked and washed my hands in lukewarm water for the 10th time this evening.

I cleansed my hair, face and entire body with steaming hot water. The water had a greenish tint to it. As I closed my eyes, I existed in this moment, I was present in this reality. The screeching of the taps, the churning of the water system, and this clear flowing liquid running past my body and ravaging itself into the bathtub sink. Clear steam left my exposed body. I washed off sweat, dirt, grime and most importantly Mary's perfume. It was calming and therapeutic to say the least. I feel as if I have cleansed sin from my body and I had been absolved. To be pragmatic I may have just washed away some evidence. There was a knock on the door. A's roommate needed to use the bathroom. I felt as if I had overstayed my welcome. I sent A my regards, thanked him for the night and left for home.

I called a friend at 6:30am. I asked her how her night was. She was unable to join us tonight as she had to tend to her father in hospital. We spoke as she was taking a taxi to work. I spoke to her about my night with B., A., Lucy and Mary. We were both surprised at how A. carried himself throughout the night.

She asked me a question that I've been thinking about a lot these past 24 hours

Do you think A. really saw Lucy?

Maybe...I thought, Maybe not…

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114583

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Jul 23, 2020	Views: 673

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LSD (2) : Second Hand Report (42), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

This is the story of the trip that made me fall in love with LSD. I would say it was my most eye opening and beautiful experience while on a psychedelic. This report was part written the day after the trip, some notes from during the trip that I attempted to record and some commentary a few years after with more fresh and mature eyes.

Looking back it feels like a sweet dream that I remember fondly. It was when life was good and peaceful. I was still in university with a safety net to land on and a world of possibilities in front of me. I did not yet have to work a job and school had been going well so far. My mental health was positive, my environment was beautiful and I had no ongoing troubles to worry about. The school quarter had just finished and it was time for an enjoyable summer break free from studies. The perfect time to experiment with lovely Lucy.

~ Intro ~

It was the second week of summer break and I was living with my girlfriend A and two of her friends M &amp; L were staying with us. The plan was for me, A, and L to all take some tabs in the morning and trip throughout the day while M would be the sitter. I had only tripped two times before. The first time on one 100 ug tab and the second on 2 100 ug tabs. So I thought the time was right to try three tabs. It would be A's second time tripping and she was going to take just a single tab. L was the most experienced in the group and was also going to take three tabs like myself. So we picked the day that worked best for all of us and started to prepare mentally for the fun ahead.

I woke up excited at around 8:00 AM that morning and kissed A on the forehead telling her today was going to be a beautiful day. I had all these thoughts twirling in my head from eagerness. Hoping it would bond us together I wrote in my journal : "Going to take a journey today, I look forward to what new sensations will be felt, what new experiences will be had. I feel fresh and excited! Enthused to see more beauty than I've ever grasped before".

Looking back I think my wildly optimistic attitude at the time led the path of my trip in a positive direction. I was in such a happy place at that moment, being in a relationship for the first time, living on our own, feeling freer than ever before. It was a time of discovery and exploration. My idealistic mind had not one negative thought.

~Beginning~

As we woke up one by one and slowly got out of bed, we all gathered in the kitchen. Everyone was buzzing from excitement knowing the today would be special. We made scrambled eggs and hashbrowns for a light breakfast. A and L had a banana while I had some blueberries. I passed on coffee not wanting a stimulant to interfere with my trip. We sat around our small dingy kitchen table as the morning sunlight crept in encompassing our smiles and small talk. L said she was excited to swim and M joked to keep her clothes on. It was decided at 9:35 AM we would drop.

T-9:35 AM   Just took my three tabs, putting on episode 12 of Samurai Champloo while we wait for the come up

I sat cuddled on the couch with my arms around A while we watched the anime. After a few episodes I noticed my body beginning to vibrate and feel heavy. I wouldn't describe it as uncomfortable, but rather as something was happening, stirring up the energy within me. I looked at the clock and wrote in my journal-

T-10:13 AM    Starting to feel weird, like there is electricity in my stomach and sides. Rubbing the skin of my arm along 	      A's arm feels more tingly than normal. No visual additions so far, but I think I'm coming up.

I knew it wouldn't be long now. I was becoming more absorbed in small details in the show. Noticing the soundtrack and animation and felt like I understood the characters better than ever. I felt so grateful to be there with A, noticing how she was gently entwining her arms with mine probably provided comfort for the both of us.

The energy within me was building. I began to notice rays of sunshine coming in and became more focused with the light and shadows than the show itself. I got up and looked outside the blinds and the tree scape scenery looked stunningly sharp. It felt like a high definition picture. The trees moved gently in the breeze and the morning light seemed to dance around sparkling everything it touched.

Everything felt good. I quickly scribbled the time and a note in my journey.

T-11:04 AM	I feel alive. I feel high. I want to be a cloud floating in the sky.

My body was tingling and my vision was sharp. Sounds began to sound exaggerated and when I would like at the screen it would appear to be glitching with discoloured and inverted pixelations on the characters. A and L decided to put on planet earth and M was sitting with them on her laptop. I said I was going to go lay on the grass outside and look at the sky.

I remember laying there lost in thought. Feeling heavy yet light. Energetic and restless. It was coming on stronger now. I recall thinking about what was happening in that exact spot 2000 years ago. What animals or people or plants had lived on this piece of earth I was laying on right now. I thought about all the history that we would never really know. All the small details and events that happened on every space on earth. Then my mind was blown when I thought about all the things happening in the universe that we have no clue about. At the moment history seemed too large for me to comprehend. It seemed like there was too much data for such a small creature as myself.

I thought about my human ancestors. What great stories their lives had been. All lost to time and history. I vividly imagined what life was like one hundred thousand years ago. There were no cities full of buidlings like today. There was no electrical technologies and cars and infrastructure like there was today. They were still in the wild, I thought. They had to find their own foods and the land was not yet owned. They would have to fight for territories and fight for survival. I was fascinated as I watched my own imaginings of human life back then.

I noticed that I am still genetically similar to those humans that lived in the past. I began to look at my body and then the earth and the sky, wondering if they saw it the same way. Was me looking at the blue sky the same as them? I took off my shirt and looked at my skin and chest and abs and admiring that I was human. I looked at the hair pattern on my arms and was in awe of my animal form. I could see the resemblance to our ape ancestors. I knew without a doubt I was what we called  animals and that they were no different a being than me.

I picked up a rock and pondered about its history. Where had it come from and how did it form? My ancestors too must have used rocks for many things. I felt a strange connection to the rock knowing that we both are made up from the universe. We both have existences unknown to many. The rocks life for the most part was unexamined. How many more existences have been unexamined throughout geologic history?

I looked at a tree, it seemed alive. It seemed grand and wise. It too was living. It had its own path through history to get right here to this moment. Me and the tree both traversed time and incredible odd to get right here to be with each other at the same time. I felt an immense connection to all living things in the same time as me, knowing what long crazy path they took to be here now existing. A huge swell of gratitude washed upon me and I was so happy to exist in this time and space. It felt like the pinnacle of the universe had brought all these branches of events together to form this exact space and time. I felt home. I felt like this was my proper place and realized that everything was always in its rightful place.

At this point I took off the rest of my clothes and began walking around like I imagined an ancient hunter gatherer would have. I examined the grass and the tree and watched the birds. I completely forgot about current society and felt like I was living in a natural wild world. It felt like my life was to peacefully walk around in nature observing all the creatures and happening. I knew that every single thing had come to be from the long paths their ancestors traveled. I knew  the trees were connected by a long history of other trees, that rocks came to be here by breaking off larger rocks and ultimately that we were all tied to the formation of earth and the universe.

I was vibing to this idea of everything being connected by long paths of history when M came out to check on me. She must have noticed I was walking around naked and asked me if I was ok. A came out behind her and came up to me wrapping her arms around me in a hug covering my exposed body. I think her presence slapped me back to reality and I'm lucky I didn't further embarrass myself in that situation.

I put my shorts back on and we went back inside. L was playing some trippy music and it felt like I was entering some type of limbo party lounge. I felt like I was an ancient hunter gatherer that must have died in some tribal dispute and was being shown to a different dimension that we lead me to a different life. This was the waiting room before you are reborn as someone else I thought. L was dancing with her eyes closed moving her hands over one another in waves. I felt like A was the angel in charge of my life case as she was leading me holding my hand.

I sat on the couch thinking that this was the waiting room and something was about to happen. I was going to be assigned a new existence or start a new life somewhere. I wasn't afraid but began asking A if I would lose my memories when it happened. I said it would be cool if we got to keep our memories after death and continue to learn life after life, but if memory loss was part of the natural process then I would have to accept it.

A ran with what I was saying and said that she doesn't know what happens after death and that we should enjoy right now. Agreeing with her she convinced me to dance and I decided I wasn't going to worry about me being dead and just enjoy whatever moments I have left. I realized that all I really was, was experience itself. I was having the experience of being human. Everything was just experience. Sensation and experience. We could know nothing outside of experience.

After a while of zoning in to the music and moving in a trance I began feeling ecstatic bliss. I remember seeing everyone brightly smiling laughing and sweating and a huge wave of euphoria seemed to carry us all. We were all holding hands making a four person circle moving around and around throwing out a kick here and there. At times if felt like some ritual was taking place made for transcendence. It was as if doing this dance was the key to bliss and I never wanted to stop.

But the ritual ended and A pulled me onto the couch to lay down. By this time it was probably almost 1 PM and we were full on tripping. I had comeback to my senses for the time being remembering who I was and that I was on a drug.

~ Middle ~

We laid on the couch for a little until L and M asked us if we wanted to go hike to the waterfall/swimming spot down the street. We decided it would be fun to walk around and be outside in the sun so we began to get ready. M and L went to change into a bathing suit while A and I did the same. I remember taking off my clothes again and jumping face down onto bed naked. A gave me a back massage and I now recommend massages to any couples on acid. It was heavenly. After the massage I didn't want to move, so she put sunscreen all over me as I laid there, turning over as she told me to. Eventually I had to put on my swimming shorts and get up to go. Before I left I jotted down a note.

T-1:27 PM 	Having a girlfriend is awesome while on acid. I love Axxxx! Time to go on an adventure. How lovely it is to  be a human and able to feel.

As we began to walk I notice how hot the sun feels. The dusty trail ground looks like purple waves and the wooden fence posts are swirling designs. The sky in the distance is razor sharp. I feel like I'm in a movie or music video. We walk and talk about how beautiful a day it is. The trail is not a long one and after ten minutes of walking we get to this really cool part where it's fully of greenery and the plants looked giant. We descend this hill made up of small wooden stairs in the middle of this green veggy forest and reach our destination. At side of the swimming hole I take off running ahead of the group and jump in the water. It feels amazing and refreshing. I don't know how to describe how it looked, but it was magical. The light on the water danced in patterns and I felt like I was flying. The girls follow me and one by one get in the water. We swim in circles around each other and splash about.At one point I thought it was a good idea to get naked again and climbed the side of the hill to jump in. I don't know why LSD makes me want to take my clothes off. It felt freeing to be atop a hillside free falling in watery bliss. A convinced me to put my shorts back on and we all dried off sunbathing in its bright wavy beams. After a while of laying there meditating in the sun M decides it's a good time to head back.

~END~

We get back to our place and L takes a shower, while me, A and M play a card game. After a few games M makes us a healthy smoothie and I go on my laptop listening to music and watching youtube videos. I remember reflecting upon one of the videos and thinking all types of interesting thoughts, not lost to history. Influenced by whatever video I watched, I did write one thing on my laptop which I'm glad I saved.

The world may never know.

What was in my head will not be known by the people that know me. They will not have the chance to see what I have done and make an opinion about it. It saddens me that the majority of myself will go unseen.

"Even I will forget myself. All of these thoughts will fall forgotten as I move through time. Fall away like leaves of my mind’s past. Decay into something I no longer know- something no longer held in the records of my memory. There is so much we don’t see. That we can’t see. That we can’t know.

And so much that we forget. Blinded by a weak fragile wetware hard drive."

After a while I had come down, but felt a tremendous peace. We chilled around the house for the rest of the day, ate a nice dinner, took a shower. At night I laid in bed for a while until I managed to fall asleep easily. The afterglow the next day was vibrant. I felt happy to exist.

Looking back this was one of the happiest times of my life. I feel so grateful to LSD for allowing me to experience peak happiness at least once. I felt like it amplified a perfect day to new heights. After I had a few more challenging trips where I learned more, but this one showed me how nice the human experience can be. I'm happy LSD exists and happy to exist as a human, no matter how bad things seem.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 114607

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 23

Published: Jul 30, 2020	Views: 656

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LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 1 drop
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (liquid)

		 Couple hits
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (flowers)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   7 st

Going back to about 5 months ago I had just finished my A level exams. They had caused me allot of stress, and I really wanted to take some thing that would 'get me out of this world' for a night. I went down to the local spot where I can usually buy drugs. The only thing I could get hold of was liquid acid (£2.50 for a drop). I wasn't too sure about doing this, because the only other big drug I had done was ecstasy- which I'd given up about 6 months before. I asked the guy selling it how it would affect me, he told me that it was similar to pill, I'd feel high and get slightly trippy effects.

We were supposed to be going to an 'illegal rave' type thing that night, but it was cancelled. Instead we agreed to go back to a mates house to get stoned. I thought this would be the ideal setting for taking something like Acid, so me and my friend had about a drop each. After taking it the group of people we were with decided to go to a party instead. Neither me or my friend knew the person having the party, but we were told it was cool for us to come along. A little bit apprehensively we started to walk up to the party. It took us about twenty minutes to get there, during this time I felt a slight high and buzz-the type of feelings I'd experienced during a pill. I felt ok, and was enjoying myself.

We got there and sat around with some people we didn't know skinning up and listening to music. After about an hour into taking the acid I was beginning to feel really paranoid. We were the only people at the party on Acid- everyone else was doing pills and smoking. I started to get really paranoid and was convinced everyone was talking about us. I sat there for ages watching them, feeling worse and worse. I turned to the guy next to me and told him what I was on- he reassured me that no one was talking about me, and told me I was crazy for doing liquid on my first time. The paranoia got a little too much, so I went outside to find someone we knew. About 2 hours had probably passed and I was experiencing slight loss of coordination, and general blurriness.

I found my mate and he gave me a spliff. I held it for so long that it went out and fell to the table. I could have sworn that I had been toking it and there was a hot cherry on the end, but I was apparently wrong. I then moved to a wall, it felt like I was melting into it and my body was just kinda flowing. After about two and a half hours into the trip everything just went insane, all my senses got confused, it felt like I was going mad. I could hear people talking around me, but couldn't understand/ comprehend what they were saying. It was like being a baby again.

I could hear people talking around me, but couldn't understand/ comprehend what they were saying. It was like being a baby again.

A friend of mine arrived at the party and I got really upset because I couldn't understand what the hell was going on, he stayed and hugged me for god knows how long. He then went away somewhere, and I felt like I'd lost someone, as if someone had died. I then sat there completely self absorbed staring at a plant for about 2 hours.

It was about 2 ish when my friend decided it was time for us to go. We got a lift to the centre of town, then had to wait for a taxi. It felt as if I was watching one of the movies where everything's speeding really fast leaving trails. It was about the time clubs were closing, so there hundreds of people, I have never been so scared in my life. They all seemed to have blurred out faces, and were walking around like robots.

We eventually got to my friend’s house. Even though it was freezing cold we sat outside for hours on end. My friend who’d also taken it was half in tears saying she just wanted someone to call an ambulance. We persuaded her that there were be no point, because everything she was experiencing was in her head/ system so there was nothing a doctor could do about it.

Everything was feeling really bleak and weird, the statue in the garden looked really creepy, and I could still see patterns and things going on in the sky. I asked my friend for a pencil and paper and drew weird patterns on the paper, I  could see reflections and patterns which I was copying-looking at the paper now it just looks like a mess of monster pictures and scribble.

At about 6am we went to bed, we slept in the same room because we were both still pretty freaked out. I eventually fell asleep and slept a solid dreamless sleep for 6 hours then went back to my friend’s house. I barely said a word when I got to his, apparently I was dazed and out of it all day, and was running a big temperature. After I’d recovered I appreciated things allot more and became less lazy, I also was unable to smoke weed for about a week due to the fear of flashbacks. I’ve suffered slight depression and general unease recently, but I am not sure whether this is down to the acid, or my history of pills.

[Erowid Note:
The term "acid" has been used as a common name for d-LSD since the 1960s. Although confusion associated with newer psychoactive substances has lead some people to use the term "acid" to refer to anything LSD-like or anything psychedelic on blotter or sold in drops, we believe this represents an error and not a useful evolution in language.]

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 11629

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 8, 2020	Views: 844

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LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Post Trip Problems (8), Various (28)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 Couple lines
		 insufflated
		 Cocaine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 0:00
		 Half tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 2:00
		 Half hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   65 kg

I haven't been doing ANY kind of drug for very long, maybe a year or so and even then only very rarely. Had been proud to stay away from all of them including cannabis. Alcohol was my choice of drug and really it was mainly beer.

So I moved to a new city/country/continent and decided that I was going experiment a little and so I did. In a year I have only had about 10 E's , smoked a bit of pot, a bit of Coke and had 1 line of speed - I barely make the category of a light drug user! I met a wonderful girl - lets call her 'M'. She was into drugs a fair bit and had done pretty much everything. I was with her when I tried Coke for the first time. That covers my drug 'history' now forward to New Years Eve 2001/2002.

We went to one of m's friends houses for a bit of a C and C party. I was looking forward to it because I had never done this before - typically my New Years are spend with hundreds of people on some beach somewhere. So we were only going to go to this house for a couple of hours and then possibly to a big underground/warehouse rave. Nobody knew the location of the rave until it was posted on the internet about 3 hours before the event.

I had been feeling nervous all day because I knew that M would drop a tab that night, and I knew I was tempted to give it a try. We got to the house and I vaguely knew a couple of M's friends that were there but I hadn't met anyone else. There was only about 10 people there and we sat in the living room listening to hardhouse music. Then M prepared some coke for everyone and for the next couple of hours we had a few lines and I necked half an E. Then M pulled me into the bedroom, she said she was going to drop the acid and if I wanted to try it. I was VERY nervous. I accepted and took half of a tab.

Carried on partying in the living room and we all decided to flag the rave and just stay at the house. That suited me - I didn't want to be freaking out other than at the house. The E I took had kicked in before I took the LSD and I was having a great time. M asked me about an hour later how I was and I said I was mashed from the E and how it was a REAL strong one, but the acid seemed to do nothing. She laughed and said it WAS the acid that was making me feel so good. She said that this acid was incredibly weak anyway and wouldn't give any hallucinations but would just make me very energetic and bouncy. Too right!! I was fucked, and I was loving it. It felt like a very strong E but lasted all night.

At about 5am the night was still going strong and M dragged me into a bedroom and proceded to rape me. GREAT SEX!!! I have had sex on E before but this was mind blowing. We screwed about 4 times then fell asleep for a couple of hours.

I had a weird dream: I was in that bedroom where M and myself were sleeping but everything was circles. Everything. All different colors and sizes and thicknesses. I was a circle. M was a circle. The bed was a circle. The table was a circle. The clock on the table, the posters on the walls, the walls themselves, the floor, ceiling, spare bed every little item in the room. All circles of varying colors and sizes all on a white background. And all in 3D. They were spinning very slowly against each other in different rotation directions like the cogs of gears would. It was lovely. I woke up feeling queasy in the stomach and felt like throwing up. Must have been the spinning dream.

I felt a bit sick for about an hour then it passed. We went downstairs to join the others who were still up. It was about 10am. We caught a cab home and M cooked up some breakfast. Then slept for most of the day. Later that afternoon and for rest of the day I felt a bit spaced out but next day went to work and all was normal again. Till next time.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 11648

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 22, 2020	Views: 1,879

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LSD (2), MDMA (3), Cocaine (13) : Large Group (10+) (19), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 6:30
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 7:30
		 1 tablet
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 8:45

		 smoked
		 Tobacco

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   145 lb

After years of personal research, hearing others experience with the drugs, and having tried consciousness expansion on less than par substances I finally found a hookup for acid. Leading up to this night I had been smoking ganja for nearly 4 years, had taken shrooms on multiple occasions, smoked opium, tried a few amphetamines and a few other opioids. So I fancied myself somewhat experienced at tripping.

Anyhow, on to the story. A buddy of mine had found a hookup for some LSD and MDMA. Naturally seeing how the new Hobbit movie was out in the cinema I saw no other fitting time to drop the tabs than just before going to see the movie.

5:00pm, I take two small blotters (I'm not 100% on the potency but I was told somewhere between 50-100ug per blotter)

5:45pm, We get to the theater. I remember feeling a little more aware of my surroundings, colors were a little bit more vibrant and I was having a little bit of trouble focusing on menial tasks (almost forgot to pay for my popcorn, bumped into a few people in-line for the movie and tripped over myself a few times while walking around)

6:15, I could tell by this point that things were going to be fun. I went to use the restroom just before the movie started, the echo of my voice was un-believable, it sounded like I was in a big granite library and my voice was going on forever.

6:45 (-ish), by this time the movie was already running but the drugs were not fulfilling my expectations. I remember seeing things on the screen molding together, patterns were appearing on peoples faces, and the story seemed to be engulfing me. Like I was a part of the movie, this was my past, present and future, my reality and being.

9:00(ish?), The movie had just ended, I remember sitting in my seat staring at the credits. How will I ever go back to my own reality after experiencing something so divine. For $40 worth of a substance I could fight dragons, I could explore the deeper reaches of the mines of Moria, I could be one with Eru in the beginning.

All the people in the theater started standing up and leaving, the moment of such dread had finally come, I had been fearing having to be around all those people the entire movie. If I sat quietly in my seat nobody could possibly know I was on drugs, but walking out of the theater seemed to have no possibility of positive outcome. But without even realizing what I was doing I stood up and walked towards the exit, almost as if the crowd mentality had found my strings and was making me walk. I was still so trapped by the idea of the film that I didn't even realize I was leaving until I was at the trash receptacle by the exit, I had been autonomously trying to put my drink in the trash bin when my own consciousness took over again, having no idea why I was putting my drink in the trash I just dropped it (luckily it landed in the trash, I think).

After getting outside I looked around (it was a cold night in the northern part of the planet), I felt like the reality I was in was the acid trip everything seemed foreign and fake, if only I could go back to Middle Earth where everything made sense.

11:00 After going out to eat (I don't even know why I ordered food, I wasn't hungry and the textures were appalling, maybe the sense of it was the right thing to do since everybody else was ordering something) and dropping a few friends off at their homes (we all car-pooled) we finally made it back to my place! Since all the driving for the evening had been accomplished and we would have no other social interactions my other two buddies (both of whom had never tried anything but pot) were going to take 2 tabs each.

11:30, I felt a little robbed of my expectations. For several weeks I had been looking forward to that weekend so I could get 'FUBAR'. As my friends let the blotters sit on their tongue I decided since I was able to handle myself alright on the acid alone I would take the MDMA too...

12:30, I had taken a single ecstasy pill an hour ago and was feeling nothing, hyping myself into a drug fueled psychedelic session I decided to take a second pill... (I had only bought two pills, a red one and a blue one. Was this a intelligently designed comedic relation to the Matrix or was this a moment of spiritual reckoning...)

1:15, My buddies were already feeling the effects strongly, but nothing more than the leftover perceptual change of the earlier events was affecting me. I noticed few small changes here and there, the reflection in my friends glasses of the blacklights on the table looked like a Tron grid, I could make out the overview of the landscape but nothing more. The walls were breathing, and I was starting to get a little anxious, had I taken too many substances, what is going to become of me?

1:45 (-ish), We had a hookah and a interesting conversation going. I was in the middle of saying something to one of my buddies when I looked away at my other friends then back to the first one. I stopped mid-sentence, all his skin had turned dark purple and he now had a red pattern across his face, It bore a strange resemblance to Darth Maul from Star Wars. After having noticed his skin I involuntarily blurted out 'Holy-Shit', after I vocally said it I heard my own voice repeat it in my head, but it was higher pitched like I would sound on helium.

Any hope of contributing any kind of intelligence to the conversation was no longer a possibility. Every time I saw Darth Maul standing before me I would burst out laughing, the posters in the room were swirling and flashing different colors, I had to look down at the table to avoid completely losing it.  We had been blowing UV bubbles (bubble solution that glows against a black-light) and when they would pop against the plastic cover on the table they would leave a glowing pop mark. After an hour of sitting in a circle blowing those bubbles like little neophytes dumbfounded at the power of something we didn't understand, the entire tabletop was now glowing. As I stared at it the entire table was shifting, the pop marks were now indistinguishable, they were flowing into each-other like a hypnotic river of light mesmerizing the lonely passer-by.

The next few hours morphed together, time was false, a lie I had been brought up to believe. I could make it go as fast as I wanted or I could step out of the equation all-together. After what I believe to be an hour and a half after the effects kicked in I was without a doubt peaking. The method by which I understood things around me had been lost somewhere along the wavy sensation of the music and the stale air of the dreary basement. I could look at the table and tell it was not really moving, the psychedelic swirling of energy was just an effect the drugs in my brain were creating. There was a chemical telling my brain that the table was moving, the thought of that was initially comforting, but after I realized that my mind was creating this then things got out of hand. If my mind has the power to create such a sensation, to see things that are not there then how do I tell what is really there. Maybe the table was a by-product of my racing thoughts, but when I would touch it was was solid, a genuine thing of reality. To further comfort my over-active (and anxious) mind I decided to test the barriers of my perception and touch the moving river of light sacred to the table top. I could feel it moving underneath my finger, the neutral energy of this universe coursed warmly through my body, at that moment everything made sense, I felt as if I had truly achieved 'nirvana'.

About 3 Ibuprofen and 4 hours later we came inside. The general census was that we were going to zone out on some video games til we passed out (I had been awake for almost 26 hours at this point

I had been awake for almost 26 hours at this point

). My friend put in Left for Dead 2 and seemed to start his own little delirium. The time came and the controller was passed to me, I had no idea why the beast were chasing me or even what I was doing in this digitally created horror story. Half-way through the level I set the controller down and had nothing more to do with it. I went to find my headphones and Ipod. After being kidnapped my cat and getting lost in my bedroom I had finally found them. I expected to drift away slowly somewhere along the lines of Us And Them or Any Colour You Like but after (what I believe to be) a half hour I realized sleep was out of the question. I just laid there in such respect and awe for the things I had just experienced. I'm not sure what time

I finally passed out but I did not wake til 3pm the next day. I felt 'disconnected' from reality, like I had woken up into a a dull and dreary dream. Consequently I took me a few days to become myself again.

I will never forget what I experienced that night nor look at life the same way again.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 102339

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 26

Published: Sep 22, 2020	Views: 629

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00

		 oral
		 Amphetamines
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Hard
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 0:00

		 insufflated
		 Ketamine
		 (powder / crystals)

		   T+ 24:00

		 buccal
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   125 lb

My brother has a friend group that frequents musical festivals every so often. One of the mainstays in the rotation could not attend suddenly, opening up a ticket for me to come. I headed down with my brother, his girlfriend and one of my brother's friends. The first day of the festival was sweet. I took some addy and felt focused, energetic and generally amazing, as one is wont to do when taking addy, smashing white claws and still feeling hyper-sober. We get back to the place we rented, and my brother's friend "C" pulls out a bag of ketamine that interests me. I have never tried ketamine before, so I take a couple of bumps and settle down to observe the effects. I remember thinking that sitting on the chair felt like balancing on a unicycle. Later that night, everyone is sleeping and, being unable to sleep and unsatisfied with the earlier ketamine experience, I pour a substantial amount of ketamine and sniff it in the bathroom. I remember feeling very numb and unable to concentrate or move. I also remember thinking "love is the answer to all of the worlds problems" on that ketamine trip. It felt very profound and life-changing during the trip, but when I came down, I looked back and felt it was a silly, drug-induced feeling and nothing more.

However, the addy and ketamine were only appetizers for what would be the main course, the second day of the festival. I only mention them because the LSD trip that follows was very intense, much more so than my previous LSD trips at similar dosages. I was curious whether this occurred due to drug interactions from the night before. Anyways, we are eating falafels on a bright, cheery early afternoon before heading down to the festival. Right before leaving, we sneak the LSD blotters in between our gums.

We are inside now and I begin feeling the usual body load and anxiety, except its only been twenty minutes since administering. This was exceptionally quick (at least in my experience) considering the amount I took, which made me panic, which made me start to feel more anxious, which made me panic... Already caught in my first negative mind loop, I tell myself mentally that this is going to be intense and that I'm going to have to weather the storm.

Its a bright day and we are sitting underneath the shadow of canopies that are blowing in the wind. Rays of sunlight peak from between the blowing sheets, and I can feel them cutting into my consciousness. We are sitting on grass, and the blades of the grass also look sharp. I believe that strangers walking past are looking and they know I'm losing grip on reality. I find that once negative thoughts begin to invade a trip, they are very hard to stop or even ignore.

I am finding the come up to be much too intense, so I take a walk and sit next to a fountain. The only positive part of the trip comes when I zone out watching the water come out of the one of the nozzles, sail in the air in a parabola and land in the fountain. The pitter patter of the water and the visual image synchronized perfectly with the music playing in the background. It was very beautiful. Unfortunately, this didn't last a long time.

The next memory I have is closing my eyes sitting by the fountain because the sensory overload was becoming a bit much. I was having intense closed eyed visuals, but instead of patterns, I was envisioning the outside world in my mind's eye. I saw that everyone there was having a giant orgy, but not in any sexual sort of way. It was more ceremonial in nature, and I use the word "orgy" loosely because people weren't having sex, it was more like everyone's bodies and minds were being violently mashed together into one being (mine included). I remember feeling weirdly ashamed, almost sheepish, like everyone was getting a look into my inner being while I was being mentally mashed into everyone else. Funnily, I remember throughout this time of me sitting at the festival closing my eyes and probably looking like a complete psycho, C would tap me and ask if I was okay, to which I would answer yeah, of course in a duuh manner before closing my eyes again and returning to this bizarre trip.

The next memory I have is suddenly regaining consciousness and opening my eyes. It was dark out, meaning I was sitting there with my eyes closed doing absolutely nothing for hours. My bottom lip was chewed to pieces. At this point, I had forgotten I had taken anything, and accepted anything that happened as part of this new reality. I get up and spot my brother and his friends. I know I am with them in some capacity, but how do I know them? I take a look at C and it dawns on me. I used to be partners with this guy in a past life; we used to be interdimensional buddy cops on the tail of some interdimensional bad guy, and I had made myself forget this mission somehow, but now I remembered again the mission to get him. I began to fixate on this concept of this interdimensional bad guy, and the more I thought of it, the more sinister things seemed to get. Now the festival happening around me, which should have been the subject of all my attention, was just a creepy backdrop to this horror movie where I am being pursued by a time and space-travelling entity. And the revelation keeps hitting me, again and again, each time with the same profundity and sense of sheer terror. "Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased across time and space. There's no escape. How could I forget.... Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased..."

"Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased across time and space. There's no escape. How could I forget.... Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased..."

 Then I remember that I made myself forget this to escape this, and that I had somehow made myself remember this again and now it was going to happen. These were the only thoughts that kept looping in my mind, as far as I can remember. I have no recollection of enjoying the sights or the music in any capacity at this stage.

Before this experience, I would sort of scoff at the idea of a psychedelic causing a complete break from reality. I mean, it could happen, but not to me, right? This experience showed me that it really is possible to forget who you are as a person, forget your whole history, forget the laws of the "real world" and be completely and utterly convinced that you are this other person in a different world with rules and history of its own. When we came back from the festival, I remember pacing endlessly in circles in the bedroom, trying to come to grips with my newfound knowledge that the music festival and my brother and his friends and school and home and everything else was all a ruse and that I had rediscovered this terrible evil and this was going to be the reality for all times. I was notified the next day that that during the trip I was muttering to myself and reassuring myself, saying things like "time is the answer, right? wait no. yes, time is the answer." Then, late that night, I randomly yelled "F-------" in the middle of a crowd. They thought at that point it would be best to take me home, which was slightly embarrassing. Anyways, I'm taking a break after this, and I'm definitely going to NOT do any other drugs that could potentially ruin the trip.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114812

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 22

Published: Sep 29, 2020	Views: 663

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LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Multi-Day Experience (13), General (1), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (edible / food)

I had been wanting to try psychedelics for quite some time.  I'd gone my whole life without ever really knowing what they were in the first place, but when I got to college and started studying some LSD research in a Transpersonal Psychology class, I began to get really interested in the effects of these types of substances.  A few friends of mine had already tried LSD and shrooms, but I'd never gotten the chance to partake with them.

This day was different, however, as I had recently found out one of the new students at my school had some liquid that he was selling on Sour Patch Kids.  I texted him early in the day asking for 2 hits and simply spent most of the day playing my guitar and waiting for him to arrive in my end of town with the acid.

It was later, about 8 P.M., when I finally got my hands on the hits.  I ate the two candies and walked over to my friend's house.  This friend had bought 2 grams of weed for us to smoke while I was tripping, he said it would enhance the effects of the acid.  I think it did.

I started to notice effects around 20 minutes after I ate the candies.  The body high was incredible, I still remember it as one of the greatest feelings I've had in my whole life.  I started to notice slight flashes of light under chairs and in the darkness, slowly feeling stranger and stranger, but feeling very good.  I think the most accurate description of how it felt to come up on my first acid trip would simply be feeling pure unconditional love for the very first time.

I don't remember much of the time between coming up and the peak.  When the visuals began to start for me, I saw vivid patterns absolutely everywhere in everything I looked at.  Random words, letters, pictures, sections of album art, maps, everything fit together like a puzzle covering the floor.  I lost awareness soon after this point.

The next thing I remember is looking down and watching my hands play my guitar.  This is one of the greatest memories of my entire  life.  I had no idea who I was or what I was, thinking I was actually someone else, completely and totally disoriented.  But I was still playing my guitar, and from what everyone who was there said I was playing quite well, and playing things that I had previously never been able to play before.

After that, a bunch more crazy things happened.  Intense colours, flashing lights, watching cities form out of my pants and grow and bulge.  But nothing for me will ever be as significant as the moment after coming down from the trip that I had something in my life to live for and be happy about, and that is music.  I now have confidence in my ability to play music and I never want to stop playing my guitar.  It's the way I express things that I don't know how to with words, and it's the way I create the things I can't without using my imagination.  It's my release and my drive in life.

I was incredibly depressed before taking LSD for the first time.  I was toying with suicide and almost wanted to quit playing music for a while.  But this first acid trip showed me that I have nothing to be depressed about and life is worth living no matter what.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95723

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 19

Published: Oct 19, 2020	Views: 570

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LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Various (28)


		 DOSE:

		   repeated
		 insufflated
		 Cocaine

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   repeated
		 insufflated
		 Cocaine

		 1.1 - 1.5 g
		 oral
		 Mushrooms

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

To be riding the lustrous, sensual waves of a psychedelic trip while soaring on the euphoric wings of cocaine can be a highly enjoyable experience. However, these combinations come with their own brand of repercussions.

Somewhat ironically, each time I have been offered psychedelics in the recent past, I have already been, or was planning to be, riding the rails of a cocaine high. On at least three recent occasions, my burgeoning plans to go on a cocaine binge have been met with the suggestion to try some mushrooms or LSD by my friends. I typically buy 2-3g of cocaine, with the intention of “saving some for later. That was the case with each of these experiences.

LSD

I’ll begin with the LSD. Soon after meeting with a fellow user to drink some beer and do some lines, a friend called suggesting we drop acid. At this point the cocaine high was already in effect, and as cocaine typically does, it had become my first priority. I felt somewhat uneasy about the notion of dropping acid due to the longevity of its effects, but I found that once a tab was offered to me in person, I popped it right in my mouth with little to no consideration. This weakening of inhibition and conscious consideration is a direct effect of the “everything is alright” euphoric rush of cocaine.

The initial rising vibes of an acid trip are usually rather noticeable. There may be a sense that one’s perceptions are becoming different in an indescribable way. There may be some anxiety or fear, or there may just be euphoric vibes rising through the body and mind. With the presence of cocaine, the initial feelings were barely noticeable (at least for a one tab dose of LSD). However, the swimming, heady high of LSD and its hallucinatory effects certainly became prominent within an hour or so. I felt great. I was high on LSD and cocaine, and I had no concern or anxiety regarding my trip. It was like I was confidently riding the waves of an acid trip, and it flooded my synapses and brought me to a very enjoyable trippy place. Still, the delusional mindfuck of the acid trip was kept at bay by the sharp, alert, attentive effects of the cocaine. I felt great, but I had to keep taking lines to stay that way.

My judgments were certainly impaired, and I made the decision to walk out on my buddies and take a ride to grab some more white. They were concerned and discouraging of this decision, but I was soaring with such confidence and elation that I had no doubt about what I was doing. I never feared, I never faltered. It is certainly true that driving in this state was a bad decision, but I drove, picked up another friend, and met with the connection without any problem at all.

The LSD reached its peak, and the trip was strong and vibrant, mostly consisting of visual and auditory enhancements paired with the lovely wash of the acid high. But the focus remained on the cocaine, and my friend who had simply wanted to drop acid with me became socially neglected as he took his trip surrounded by three guys hooked on coke.

By the time I finally got rid of the other two coke buddies, my friend and I didn’t have much of the night left to enjoy together. This was a direct effect of the social influence of cocaine, which had swayed my social preference toward the others who were using coke with me. I felt bad for neglecting my tripping partner, and I tried to make the effort to go out and ride the remainder of the acid vibes with him. We walked around the empty city sidewalks, staring at the moon and sky, and meandered through the ornate grounds of a nearby art museum, but I was coming down from the cocaine, and did not feel good anymore. Although the effects of the LSD were still present, the comedown from the cocaine became the dominant factor.

I was coming down from the cocaine, and did not feel good anymore. Although the effects of the LSD were still present, the comedown from the cocaine became the dominant factor.

 This is where the repercussions came in, as the cocaine comedown overpowered and cut short the vibrancy of the psychedelic trip. Furthermore, because LSD can have a long, wakeful, and hallucinatory comedown, which can be somewhat unpleasant, the drop in dopamine caused by the impending cocaine crash resulted in a rather miserable scenario. Feelings of emptiness and remorse, longing for loved ones, and a need for reconciliation caused by the cocaine comedown, paired with the gritty brain crater of bizarre, repetitious, cartoony hallucinations caused by the LSD comedown made for a restless and uncomfortable attempt at sleep.

Still, somehow, after finally shutting down for a couple of hours, I woke up wakeful and alert (brain running on fumes no doubt), able to go to work, and experiencing something of an afterglow that seemed to be caused by the combination of the two psychoactive substances. I was happy and energetic the following day, although getting through the combo-comedown after the incredible high was ultimately not worth the trouble.

Psilocybin

Eating mushrooms while high on cocaine took on a similar but unique, and ultimately more pleasant dimension. Each time I ate about 1.1 – 1.5 grams of mushrooms while riding the cocaine train.

Similarly, the come up was not particularly noticeable, and the queasiness and anxiety often associated with the first hour after eating mushrooms was not experienced at all. In fact, with such a modest dose of mushrooms, the high did not really become particularly noticeable until it had reached its peak.

On one occasion, the mushrooms were popped and we simply hung around, listening to music and sipping on beers, laughing and commiserating. Of course, all the while I was taking trips to the bathroom to bump up my cocaine high. Again the cocaine high took precedence, and was the dominant factor, as well as the priority. Still, once the mushrooms became fully active in my mind and body, the effects were highly enjoyable, and consisted of feelings of elation and joy, vivid visual perception, and an enhanced auditory sensitivity. I’ve thought at times that the peak of a mushroom high shares commonalities with the euphoria and elation of the cocaine high, although obviously causing very different responses in the brain and nervous system.

I felt on top of the world, and we decided to walk to the nearby pool hall / taco joint to see what we could see. Socialization was a breeze, and I felt joy and love for people all around me. This was not just an effect of the cocaine, but an organic vibe of the mushrooms. The natural feeling of oneness with others brought on by the fungus was enhanced by a feeling of confidence and certainty caused by the stimulant. I simply felt great, and didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. I was confident, happy, and in full flux. Women were beautiful and alluring and music was incredible, but I still had the edgy feeling that I needed to sustain my high on cocaine.

As the night drew on, and the cocaine high waned, the benevolent mushroom trip became tainted by the dark side of the stimulant. Each time my mood dropped my mushroom high was squashed, and I felt only anxiety and the need to re-up. Common symptoms of a cocaine comedown, and certainly not relieved by the psychedelic flesh of the shrooms.

The second occasion was quite similar, with a live brass band and many people dancing. The vibes were immaculate. The high was overwhelmingly positive. The confidence, self-assuredness, benevolence, and sense of erotic enticement were at maximum levels. Music was pure bliss, and dancing was as natural as standing or sitting. Still as the night wore on, the edge of the cocaine crash cut down the vibrancy of the overall experience, overshadowing the remaining softness and lush comedown of the psilocybin.

These experiences certainly have a personal dimension. Not everyone will feel the same, and I’ve noticed, much to my surprise, that some people do not seem to find the cocaine comedown so perilous.  As someone who typically chooses to face the bitter end of the high and try to return to normalcy for the sake of sleep, it can be a dreadful experience, and I would say that the presence of psychedelics do not improve it. The hard and intense stimulating nature of cocaine is a damper on the intellectual, imaginative, sensory experience of mushrooms and LSD. LSD certainly presents an enjoyable high when paired with cocaine, but the chemical nature of both substances lends to a harsh and gritty end. On the other hand, mushrooms have been very enjoyable, vibrant, and positive when paired with this stimulant, but I am wary of the cocaine comedown, and  cognizant of the fact that the potentially beneficial mushroom trip will be muted in part by the dominating stimulant.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113855

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 34

Published: Oct 20, 2020	Views: 2,241

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Cocaine (13), LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Hangover / Days After (46), Combinations (3), Various (28)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.5 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		 0.5 hits
		 sublingual
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   132 lb

I was at a music festival in Arkansas. It was the last day and I thought to myself it's now or never. Who knows when I'll come across this again. I bought one blotter which was on a plain white strip of paper. LSD is like the big daddy of hallucinogens and I was very cautious, so I decided to cut the strip in half and just see how this half affected me.

My husband had volunteered to be my sitter. I put the half tab in my mouth and let it sit for several minutes under my tongue before swallowing. We went to the main stage area and I was uncomfortable thinking I might suddenly shoot into another dimension around all these strangers. We decided to head back to our campsite and just chill in our hammock waiting for the onset. After 90 minutes I had no change other then a slight euphoria. I decided to take the other half. I let this one sit for 10 minutes before swallowing.

After 30 minutes I could feel much more euphoria and a strong increase in my sense of smell. We went to see the next band playing. Thievery Corporation rocked my world. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect band to describe my hearts desire. They were playing rock, bossa nova, Indian instruments, so many cultures meshing together. The lady singing, Shana, had an amazing voice. She was like a goddess of this band. The song was called the depth of my soul. It so perfectly described how I felt. While I was not having a lot of visuals, I felt profoundly insightful, blessed, and happy in that moment.

The show ended to soon and it was off to another stage. My hubby J and another friend D and I decided to visit another stage. While walking to the other stage it was eerily quite. The last night of the festival and most people had left. We ran into an interesting art project, lots of carpet squares and interesting black light art. Hubby is drunk proclaims how amazing it is and he's not tripping but D and I are. I'm self conscious and paranoid. A complete 360 from several minutes ago. We get to the stage which I normally love. A natural amphitheater surrounded by woods. But now I'm paranoid that someone walking in from the woods is going to be an undercover cop. I keep hinting I want to leave but J is quite drunk. I feel completely sober several minutes later. I assume I just got to paranoid and somehow pushed the lsd through my system.

We walk back to our campsite and I use the restroom. When I walk into the bathroom I see hundreds of bugs swarming the lights. Someone left the door open and they have swarmed the place. It's pretty awesome I start to see kaleidoscopic geometric patterns around the lights. Someone left a bottled water in the stall and the word Geyser is pulsating and changing colors. Freaking sweet I think to myself. We go to the group campfire and the trees and leaves are alive with this pulsating color changing energy. I love it. We get back to our campsite and I realize I'm peaking while everyone else is coming down. I suddenly feel very insightful again. And very ego threatened. I realize what a perfectionist I am and very germaphobic. Suddenly someone stars playing dubstep techno which I usually hate. But it makes sense now. It's the thought looping of acid expressed in music. Suddenly a Lazer light show accompanies the music I ask J and D if they see it too. Hell yeah they do freaking sweet.This Lazer show has that awesome pulsating energy I was seeing earlier, and now it moves to the beat of the music. Then J decides he wants to go to bed. We have a four hour drive to our favorite campsite tomorrow where we will meet my younger brother and his girlfriend to camp for another 4 days.

Here comes the paranoid feelings. I do not want to go lay down in a dark tent with lots of bugs. I seem to notice them so much right now. It's creeping me out. But I realize I do need some sleep. We get in the tent and J wants to get freaky. Well why not I'm not tired. It is amazing, I close my eyes and the color changing pulsating energy is pumping through my nerves. I can see amazing matrix like lazers moving through me to the rhythm of the acid crunk techno one of our neighbors is playing while we are getting busy. It  was a million times more intense than screwing on Molly.

However J immediately passes out afterwards and I still can't sleep. I keep thinking about how terrible I'm going to feel taking this campsite down, driving 4 hours then resetting camp. The techno is deafening and I can't decide if it's in my mind or really still playing.

It's time to get up and I never slept. I decide I should shower. My sense of smell is still enhanced. I must still be tripping. I take of my clothes and my boobs stick out 12 feet from my body. This is strange my bones seem to be sticking out like I'm on my death bed.The smell of this shower is nauseating, it reeks of urine, excrement, and used feminine products. I rush through my shower. feeling just as dirty as I did before.

I get back to my campsite and try to wake up a hung over J. We start to pack up and I can still see bugs from a mile away. Everything else seems normal. Except when I look in the mirror my mouth is going to the left and my nose is going to the right. We have heard that the cops are waiting at the bottom of the mountain for idiots who decided to take what they found at the festival home with them. J is worried that he would fail a breathalyzer, he decides I should drive. He says they would never know if I was trippin or not. I don't like this idea but I don't want to get pulled over and him have to do a breathalyzer which would probably freak me out too.

I drive down the mountain thankfully nothing looks strange except my own body. We stopped to get some food and he takes over driving. After about an hour he says he's falling asleep at the wheel. So I have to drive again. I become very depressed, thinking about all the things that have happened to us in the last four and a half years.

At the age of 25 I had the shingles. I got pregnant just as it was beginning. He deploys while I am 8 months pregnant, and will not be there for the birth. Shortly after birth they diagnose my daughter with Down syndrome. My husband could possibly be in a combat situation and I could not tell him I had to lie to him about our daughter. I finally tell him and he comes home on emergency leave. But if we want health insurance for our disabled child he must go back. Our older daughter develops a severe food allergy. He gets hit by an IED, gets his purple heart and PTSD. It is so much to deal with in 4 months. I become socially awkward and basically turn into a hermit. While I'm not as depressed 5 years later I still don't have much of a social life. Pink Floyd, Tool, Rammstein, and MMJ are my only friends.

This music festival was my chance to show my husband what music does for me. He tells me that he has gotten such a deep and profound understanding of music. I can't be happier. But at the same time I realized I will never be the same. How can you be after that?

We get to our favorite camping spot and meet my younger brother and his girlfriend. We go to town to pick up some supplies. My brother takes two hits of acid and his girlfriend takes one. He asks me if I want some and I tell him no I am coming down from a difficult trip myself and haven't had any sleep and should probably rest before I experiment some more. We go out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Everyone is very giggly. My hubby is trying to make them laugh. My brother suddenly looks like he's going to get sick so his girlfriend has to take him to the bathroom. She comes out laughing hysterically because she had to push a little boy out of the way so my brother could vomit. We asked for the check and leave. Then we must go to Walmart because it's the only store in the small town that has the camping supplies we need. I can tell that it's very intense for my brother and his girlfriend. I had a similar situation but with using Molly. Walmart is like its own little ecosystem. It is very intense and most people underestimate it.

We leave and drive back to the campsite which is down a gravel road on the side of a mountain. My brother says he's glad he is not the one who's driving, everyone is a little nervous except for my husband who is sober. While I am NOT tripping I'm still feeling quite paranoid from the night before and I am not liking this drive. We get back to the campsite and my brother says he needs to use the restroom. Upon returning he seems very disturbed and agitated. I can tell that he's going into a bad trip he repeatedly asked to wash his hands in his face, he wants to look into a mirror and he says his face is swollen. I fix him an orange and he eats but he refuses to touch the orange so he's eating like an animal. He tells us not to touch him to spray him with a water bottle if we need him. His thoughts are very scattered and strange. I'm just scared he's going to get aggressive. The previous year we had problems with raccoons I'm just hoping they stay away. He picked up a shovel and walks into the woods I'm very nervous but we coax him back to the fire and then we decide he should probably take a shower which is a primitive solar shower. His girlfriend helps him even though she is also tripping. She giggles a lot and this seems to only irritate him more they are both getting on each others nerves it is slightly funny but we are all trying to help him. We finally talked him into going to bed and he calmed down for the most part but sometimes walks out of the tent I'm just nervous that he's going to take his crossbow or something and shoot us but thankfully we kept him calm I just keep thinking that I want to go to sleep myself after having been up for over 24 hours and dealing with a difficult trip myself

I just keep thinking that I want to go to sleep myself after having been up for over 24 hours and dealing with a difficult trip myself

 but now I have to help my brother with his bad trip.

It only affirms my belief that this is a very powerful psychoactive that should not be taken lightly. Even though my brother takes this very often he had never done it in that type of social  situation it is enough to put someone in a bad trip even if you think you are very experienced the situation dictates the trip and you should never underestimate its power. If I ever decide to trip again it will probably be in my own home with the phone turned off and the door locked.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106431

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 30

Published: Oct 22, 2020	Views: 592

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Music Discussion (22), Depression (15), First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 3.5 hits
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 0:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 10:00
		 1 bowl
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   165 lb

It was Canada day and me and some buddies decided to go to our one buddies place and do LSD. I had done it before 6 times before this event, so I was by this point fairly experienced with the drug. For the most part, I knew what to expect, what the come up felt like and what the visuals would peak at. I was very comfortable with the effects. My buddy had a house that was near enough to Toronto to drive to, but far enough into the boonies that his lot was huge and he was mostly surrounded by small farms and big middle-of-nowhere style houses. It would make the ideal spot for a trip. I took the subway up to a friends place and then we drove the rest of the way.

Shortly after arriving, we dropped the tabs. I took 3 1/2 125ug tabs, which amounted 437.5ug in total. My other 3 friends consumed variously between 2 and 2 1/2 tabs, so between 250ug and 312.5ug at 1:10PM. We went outside and started playing with the Frisbee and generally just chilling and listening to music. After a while, our friend and host convinced us to go on a nature walk throughout the woods in his backyard (initially by telling us that there was a rusted car and bus back there but this later turned out to be a lie to convince us to go, it was just a walk).

While we were out walking, the high of the LSD really started to kick in. I find that when I'm in nature I don't really notice as much perceptually. I get the body high and the internal feelings, but without a solid texture to look at I really don't very much in visuals, besides a general feeling of intensity in my perceptions. We ventured through a lot of tall grass, down a hill, through a marshy area and through a newly planted corn field, eventually arriving at a fence. At this point we decide to turn around and walk back. During the walk back, one of our buddies who was walking slower then the rest of the group gets lost after falling behind. After finding him, he later sat down in the tall grass and let himself intentionally get lost, apparently experiencing a profound feeling of oneness while in the grass. It is fortunate that he found his way home after we left him there.

After we got back, we all undress, put on bathing suits and get into a hot tub. The hot tub felt really nice with the LSD and it was only after getting back and seeing the textures in the stone of the patio, the granite inside the house and the walls that I really realize just how whacked out I was. After sitting in the hot tub for a while, I decide to smoke a bowl of weed. I used to be a huge pot head, but had quit several months earlier, only doing it occasionally. My previous experiences with LSD led me to believe that the two would combine in a similar way that weed combines with alcohol - producing a great amplification of the effects of both drugs that is easy to underestimate. I had no idea what was in store for me.

After smoking the bowl of weed, this is where the truly profound effects of LSD started to hit me - a level of the drug that I had not been to before and was not expecting to go on that day. I sat in the hot tub for a while after smoking the bowl, initially just becoming slightly anxious. I wasn't totally sure what to do, and was having difficulty following peoples conversations or even forming thoughts of my own. It didn't bother me very much initially. I got out of the hot tub and started searching for my sunglasses - this proved to be extremely difficult. I couldn't keep my mind on the task at hand for more then a second at a time. My mind repeatedly just went empty - too overloaded with sensation to maintain coherent focus on any one thing.

I never did find my sunglasses. Eventually I sat down and thought to myself, 'what would happen if this feeling just took over? What if I just couldn't think anymore?' I imagined the feeling taking over, and the information rushing into my mind faster then I could process. It was ironic that this half joking thought was what triggered me to fully enter the LSD high, Geometry Level 8A as described on the pyschonaut wiki. I had imagined it taking over, and in that very moment it took over. Whether the thought was the trigger or a result of what was happening anyhow is anyone’s guess.

Initially I was very confused. I didn't like the feeling at all. My internal narrative had completely stopped - I could no longer form thoughts. Multiple words would come at the same time and they just didn't form a sentence or a coherent idea. When I opened my eyes, although I saw the outer world, it did not fully register. It was as if the what I was seeing was not properly transforming into higher level concepts. I could not decide what to do with objects in my world or what to do with myself. I reported to my friends that I had entered a really weird state of mind and was not feeling well. I reported being very confused and unable to think or do anything. I reported multiple times that they probably could do anything with me in that state - I would have been very easy to lead. It was somewhat surprising that I was capable of talking at all, although slightly broken. My internal narrative had completely vanished, but I was still capable of controlling my mouth to some extent. A feeling of doubt and worry took over for a while - was I stuck like this? Permanently depersonalized from my conscious experience? My biggest fear at this point was that it would stay like this forever - where I couldn't think and that I would be a permanent zombie, incapable of leading people or doing anything but follow the most basic commands. Was this what a bad trip is? I wanted to be normal again.

Was this what a bad trip is? I wanted to be normal again.

After about 30 to 45 minutes and some laying in the grass, I started to accept the feeling more and it no longer gave me anxiety. I started to make sense of what was going on while it was going on, and that's when I really started to enjoy it. I had consistently increased the dosage of my LSD experiences, from 240 on previous days through to 437 that day. I wanted to see what it was like to get 'drunk' on LSD - what the limit was and I had found it. The Geometry Level 8A experience is exactly like they describe in the article on psychonaut, but you really don't get it until you go through it. I really was experiencing everything at the same time - or while maybe not entirely everything, there were many things simultaneously. It was as if you had just turned the whole brain on. Instead of having a single thing that I was paying attention to, I started feeling like I was getting multiple thoughts simultaneously. It was no wonder why I couldn't form sentences or thoughts any more - multiple words would be bubbling up to my higher level consciousness in parallel. It reminded me like a pot of boiling water, where each bubble was a thought. While initially its a steady stream, as the pot heats up to a rapid boil, the bubbles are just so random and all over the place that you can no longer understand them.

My entire linguistic, visual, and semantic systems where firing all at once. It felt like I was experiencing all possible futures and all pasts and all of the present all at once. All ideas, words, concepts, images, all just seemed to be appearing at the same time in an incomprehensible cacophony. Even different ways of forming my sentences and different choices of words appeared simultaneously. When I opened my eyes, my world was overlayed with an extremely strong hexagon like grid that felt like it was all three colors at the same time. It became nearly impossible to talk aloud, let alone maintain an internal narrative. My mind was fried. It was a very weird state of mind - where your internal narrative, your ability to make sense of the world and make any decisions related to your senses were all gone. It was a complete ego death - I was fully enveloped by my brain lit up like a light bulb. It was fundamentally different from lower doses of LSD and from normal, coherent thinking.

After a while, it started to calm down and could have some thoughts again. I started having these weird, profound and probably wrong insights into how the world works. I got this strong sense that intelligence existed in abstract, outside of biological brains. That I was experiencing something that creatures all around the universe experienced. Aliens would evolve on foreign worlds with completely different concept networks, but if you lit up their whole brain in the same way, they would experience precisely the same thing - a strong connectedness with all the universe and all of existence, everything that can or will exist. I felt like I was going on a right of passage almost. Treading a path that Steve Jobs and other great leaders had done before me - like gods of some kind had put me on a course to experience this. I screamed out 'Why me! Why Today?' multiple times. At one point I became convinced that I was set up - my friends and and this whole days entire purpose was for me to break through to this level of LSD experience and this connectedness with everything. That my friends knew this was going to happen and it was all in the plan. Not true, of course, but at the time it was the only thing that made sense.

I also had this repeating pattern, along with all of the other thoughts that were occurring simultaneously, was that 'This is why you do LSD. The visuals are just the pussy shit compared to this miraculous internal feeling. Having the whole brain turned on at once.'  I felt like I was experiencing something profound - that everything in my life had lead up to this point just for me to experience that. I felt that I was going to extract some great insight into the nature of intelligence from it - the fact that this weird state of mind was even possible had to mean something. But at the same time I remember shouting that 'it could be meaningless! It might mean nothing!', a reference to the fact that I might not extract any meaningful insights from the experience at all. I was just fucked up and it wasn't really going to change my life.

The weed wore down and with it the most extreme effects of the geometry. Soon I was able to form thoughts in my own head again.

The weed wore down and with it the most extreme effects of the geometry. Soon I was able to form thoughts in my own head again.

 The return of an internal narrative and an ability to react to and interpret the backyard of my buddies house was greatly welcomed. I chilled with my buddies, thankful that they had taken care of me. Especially during that initial half hour to 45 minutes of the geometry where I didn't know what was happening other then that I was no longer thinking or processing information normally - the part where I was anxious. Later on in the evening, almost 10 hours after first taking the LSD, I smoked another bowl of weed. I noticed that this caused some return of the feelings that I had earlier - the feeling of experiencing everything at once and no longer being able to follow conversations. However, fortunately it never became as bad that evening - never strong enough to cause me to start having broken thoughts, but it reinforced the notion that it was only the LSD in combination with the weed that had caused this profound state of mind in me.

Overall it was a great day. For almost 2 hours, I was experiencing everything that could exist in my head all at once. My entire sense of time was deprived, and it felt like all information was just flowing through me. It no longer came to a point - no single thing that I was paying attention to, but instead a cacophony of incomprehensible thoughts and concepts occurring simultaneously, bubbling randomly like a rapid boiling pot of water. It was scary at first, but after easing into it, I was able to enjoy it for almost 2 hours before my thoughts started reforming again.

I think my experiences with the psychedelics are over, for now at least. If what I wanted was to have something mind-blowing, something that fundamentally altered my state of mind, I had got there. It was yesterday with that 437.5ug of LSD and that bowl of weed. I had experienced something that was fundamentally different from normal experience - and fundamentally different than all of my previous LSD experiences, where my thoughts mostly stayed normal and comprehensible. I don't think I need to light my brain up like that again for quite a while. I need to give my mind a break. But overall it was well worth it.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106541

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 24

Published: Oct 27, 2020	Views: 724

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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)