		 DOSE:

		 oral
		 LSD

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

As a young adolescent in the 1980s, I frequently experimented with all sorts of substances: Primarily marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines, psilocybin and LSD. Most of my use was recreational in nature, but I also had a bit of the mystic in me. I was deeply intrigued by the writings of Carlos Castaneda, for whom certain hallucinogens were considered consciousness-expanding, a route to an alternative reality, or a higher plane of being, so to speak. I also read Herman Hesse and William Burroughs, for whom altered states of consciousness were also a frequent topic.

In 1983, when I was 14 years old, I consumed a massive dosage of LSD while alone in my bedroom one night.  Unfortunately I had no idea of the strength of the dosage ahead of time, but with my subsequent experience I would estimate the dose at 800 micrograms or more. But I had no way of knowing this at the time, nor did I have ANY idea what was in store for me . I believed that I was just going to partake in another light, fun, amusement-park sort of trip as I had experienced with much weaker doses.

It started out typically enough. If you've ever done a decent amount of LSD, you know how it goes. I sit around for an hour waiting for it to kick in, and then at some point I start to notice something different. My field of vision suddenly becomes very 'wavy'.  Everything starts undulating in the strangest way. Walls and ceilings appear to be alive, as they waver, fluctuate, and so on, almost as if they are breathing.  Moving objects leave 'trails' in the air. And yet, during the entire experience, my mind is relatively clear and normal. It isn't at all like being drunk, where I can literally feel my mind getting numb and my thoughts getting sloppy. Instead, my thoughts are as clear as a bell.

Then serious close-eye visions started. This is hard to imagine until you've actually seen it. Imagine the most gorgeous stain glass window you have ever seen, and then multiply it by a million, both in terms of complexity and artistic intensity. There is no way to convey this experience with words: You literally see colors and geometric patterns you have never seen before. It is absolutely mind-blowing! It is staggering when it happened, because I simply had no idea this kind of stuff can come out of the brain simply because of the ingestion of an extremely small quantity of some chemical.

I was also listening to music at the time, and the most amazing thing happened: the music and my visual hallucinations began to meld into one single stimulus!  It is impossible to describe accurately with words, but I was literally seeing the sound!  It was as if the sound itself was alive and had inhabited my visual patterns, such that it had a life of its own. Think of the most complicated music you can (Mozart, Schoenberg, Phillip Glass and so on) and try to imagine what it would look like if it were expressed visually as a series of patterns and colors flowing through time. My visions took on the quality of a train moving through space and time, constantly shifting and evolving in complexity.

What happened next is even more difficult to express with words, and I am forced to use a vague set of metaphors and adjectives which can do no justice. First, my inner field of vision became boundless. Think about how you normally see the outside world. Your eyes are almost like a camera; you see whatever is front of you, in whatever direction your eyes are pointed, and moreover you tend to focus on a single point in your field of vision. Your field of vision, while not completely two-dimensional, tends to look as such, like a movie-screen, but more complicated and detailed.

Our inner, imagined visions tend to reflect this outside field of vision; but there is no reason for this, the your inner eye has no boundaries. Try to imagine what it would be like if you could see not only in front of you, but also behind you, above you and below, all at the same time. And imagine that your vision was no longer focused on a single point, but rather, that you are 'taking in the view' from all angles at once.  It was as if I had become a eyeball which sees in all directions, without focusing in any one direction at all. This was my experience.

Moreover, what I 'saw' was not the physical world around me, but rather the most beautiful light and color I could ever possible imagine in my wildest dreams, multiplied a million times over! However, to describe it as 'light and color' is entirely inadequate, because I was literally seeing colors I had never experienced before, and what I saw was intertwined with everything I heard, felt, and thought.

At this point, time and space became a meaningless concept. It was not as if time had stopped or frozen, because things were still changing dynamically, or 'moving along' in some sense, and yet I did not have a feeling of time passing by. It was as if my world were both alive and yet all at once altogether timeless. Somehow it just 'existed' and 'lived', but without a clock ticking along.

The other significant change was that the voice in my head stopped. Think about the way you go through life with that inner voice in your head.  It is a constant, never-ending narrative that I speak to myself in my waking mind.  If you've ever tried to silence that voice, you know how difficult that is. You try to make that voice stop talking, but inevitably, at some other level you begin talking to yourself about how your own mind is trying to stop the voice, and so on - it is very difficult to do this unless you have a lot of practice with meditation. (The only other time it happens is in sleep.)

It was then that I began to become aware of the presence of God. This is by far the most difficult part to convey in words, but I will once again try to do so by using metaphors, simply to convey a psychic impression of this experience.

Imagine that you are an adolescent  who has lived alone in a completely enclosed room for your entire life. That is, try to imagine that you have lived all of your life alone in this one room, without every knowing that anybody else or any other world even exists. Then, imagine that all of a sudden that room opens up, and you are suddenly surrounded by thousands of other people just like yourself who have been watching you your entire life! Try to imagine how that would feel, living your entire life without ever realizing that there was anybody or anything outside of your little room -- and all of a sudden you discover that you are not alone, and that in fact, your little room has been surrounded by other beings like yourself, who have been observing you the entire time! Imagine that they would know everything about you, and think of how exposed you would feel, and yet at the same time, you would feel incredibly joyous, knowing that you are no longer alone!  And although those outside people have witnessed your deepest darkest sins, they simply do not care about them! All they want to do is embrace you, and free you from your little room, welcoming you into their glorious, all-knowing and all-loving community!!

It is impossible to actually do so, but simply try to imagine how joyous and loved you would feel to actually meet these people for the first time, and to feel their warm embrace, their touch and their voices, their recognition and acknowledgment of your existence. Moreover, it is not like they are a bunch of strangers that you have never seen before.  It is much more like you are meeting up with an ancient clan of lost soul-mates who understand you perfectly, and of whom you have been aware at some deep subconscious level all your life, but about whom you had completely forgotten when you were born!

I must emphasize, however, that although I talk about these presences as a plurality, it was also as if they were a single unity as well.  They were many, but they were one. They saw with many eyes, but they thought with one mind.  They saw the world from many angles, but they felt the same feelings, and knew the same things, with perfect telepathy and communication beyond words. Again, it is highly paradoxical, and I think it's truly impossible to grasp unless you have witnessed it for yourself.

What I then understood is that our normal, waking human reality is incredibly illusory. While the 'objective reality' is indeed real, our concrete perception of it is simply a highly limited, false reality which has become 'embedded' in our present frame of reference.

In the middle of all this, I became intensely aware of something else. Again, words fail me here, but I felt as if I were on the 'threshold' of Heaven itself. I was aware that I had a choice:  If I so desired, I knew that I could 'die' right then and there.  I would simply step forward into this Heaven, perhaps never again return to my human reality. However, I somehow knew that I was 'not supposed to enter' Heaven just then.  I simply felt very strongly that I had an important purpose within my human existence, for which I was intended to return to the human world. And so I turned back.

(Here I need to point at that I'm having to explain this in narrative form, as if these were experiences passing through time, but again, it somehow it all happened 'at once', and all of this awareness I am describing suddenly became immediately apparent to me, in a timeless sort of way, as described above.)

And that was when I was ushered back not to my human existence, but to Hell itself. I immediately became completely overwhelmed with the sheer weight of timeless eternity, and the staggering vastness of infinity. While my ego had been allowed to dissolve beautifully on the threshold of death, now I began to struggle terribly to reconstruct my ego, to regain a foothold in my normal human existence. Just as my fleeting glimpse of Heaven was filled with undescribable joy, ecstasy and a timeless love, my subsequent experience in Hell was incredibly horrible and terrifying.

Again, here is a metaphor I will use to describe it, however inadequately: Whereas I had previously felt like an adolescent discovering the crowd of soul-mates outside of his enclosed room for the first time, I now felt like I was being locked back into that cell for eternity! Try to imagine the feeling of being that adolescent who, after being shown the loving and warm world of God outside of his little room, is suddenly condemned to locked back in that room like a prisoner in a solitary cell, for all of eternity! I was consumed with loneliness, and I felt that I had previously opened a door which I should not have opened. I felt as if I had committed an unforgivable sin for which I was now condemned forever, as if I had eaten the fruit from the forbidden tree.

Thus I was jolted out of my ecstatic state of mind, and suddenly became very aware of the physical world around me. I had a clock next to my bed, which superficially seemed to be ticking along normally, and yet every second that passed by seemed like a thousand years! Whereas time had previously become meaningless, all of a sudden it seemed to take on the force and momentum of a huge freight train crawling along at a rate of one inch per hour.

And while I could see the physical world around me, I was still being surrounded by visuals, and I desperately wanted to stop them, but I couldn't. Whereas they had previously appeared as unimaginably beautiful, they now seemed haunting and torturous. It was like being stuck in the worst horror movie I could possibly imagine!

If you have ever seen the movie 'Being John Malcovich', in which people are able to enter into the brain of Malcovich and experience his reality as if it were a movie of some sort, that is almost exactly how I felt in my own brain!  I could see my own physical reality as if it were a movie in front of my eyes, and yet I was deeply divorced from it. I was aware that it was all an illusion, and yet I felt that it was an illusion from which I would never escape.

And whereas I had previously stopped the voice in my head completely, that voice now multiplied and took over again with a vengeance!  I felt like there were several of these insidious voices in my head and I could not control any of them!  It was very much like my inner voice was the engine of a car, and I was continually pressing the accelerator to the floor.  Just when I thought I had it under some semblance of control, it would take off like a shot, like an uncontrollable madman, as if my brain were possessed.

At the same time, I became intensely aware of my physical body - Not only were my muscles full of cramps and aches, with my jaw aching terribly, but my insides literally felt like they were on fire.  I felt as if I had swallowed a gallon of sulfuric acid. The very pit of my stomach and my throat burned as if I had been stuck with a white hot poker. Moreover, I could feel every bowel movement, and the blood coursing through my veins, and it was driving me mad.  I repeatedly had to get up to go to the bathroom, and my feces and urine took on a detestable appearance, tinged with a sickening red.  I was convinced that I had been thoroughly poisoned.

Moreover, I became dead convinced that I was stuck in this horrible state for eternity. I had more or less forgotten about the fact that I had ingested LSD.  I was convinced that I had become Adam, who had eaten the forbidden apple from the tree of knowledge and was now being banished from Heaven for Eternity.

I simply cannot tell you the pain I endured for the next 5-6 hours, which quite literally seemed like eons of time, during which my hallucinations raged out of control and the voices in my head took over like a band of rioting madmen. I felt ineffably alone, cut off from all other life. And the worst part about it was that I was truly convinced that I had become separated from God and Heaven for all of Eternity....

How I ever managed to gain a foothold on reality again (despite, the drug wearing off) I will never know. All I can remember is that I finally fell asleep after what seemed like forever, and when I woke up, I felt vaguely normal again, albeit with a brain full of cobwebs.

After that experience, my life changed dramatically. For a long time, I swore off drugs of all kinds (including caffeine even).  I became a strict vegetarian, became highly interested in Buddhism, and actually shaved my head bald like a Buddhist monk for several years. I adopted the most stringent of ascetic regimes, refusing myself the most basic pleasures. I went months without sexual activity of any sort (not even masturbation), and practiced the strictest discipline I could possibly muster.

After a number of years of this I eventually gravitated back to my carnal, human habits, but I never forgot what that experience was like.  And to this day, I am still searching for that purpose, that feeling of meaning and destiny which was conferred to me on the threshold of Heaven, that mission for which I know I am destined on this physical earth....

Exp Year: 1983	ExpID: 6591

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 1, 2002	Views: 35,019

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LSD (2) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 7:45
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 8:15
		 0.5 hits
		 oral
		 MDMA

		   T+ 0:00

		 inhaled
		 Nitrous Oxide

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   58 kg

I was brought up in a relatively drug-free environment. I knew my dad used to smoke weed, eat shrooms and lsd, but we didn't really talk about it much till rather recently. At 16, I got a job at a movie cinema, working with angry young teenagers in a job where you really feel like you're trash. Ecstasy and raves came around, I first tried MDMA shortly after getting my job. Next came weed, which produced oddly hallucinogenic results for me... Friends smoking the same stuff would remark at how it sent me to la-la land so quickly. I should add that it was extremely psychological (which I loved) but it's unplesant effects outweighed any enjoyment I derived from the psychological effects... LSD interested me greatly. All of it's effects, other than the extremely frightening possibility of 'unwanted spiritual change' and a bad trips, beckoned me to try it. I didn't just want a hallucinogen, I wanted a psychoactive...

Being 17 and in my final year of school didn't help much... I read endlesly about LSD and finally got some information out of my father on it. It's interest grew on me inexplicibly. I was eager to try it, but knew if I did it as an 'on the spot' thing, I'd probably fuck my mind up terribly. I had to plan it out... Have a small dose with good friends in a lounge environment. This was what I thought...

Myself, one long term friend, four others I've known for about six months and one stranger gathered on a belt of grass which looks over Sydney Harbour, namely the Opera House. We had one goal - to be at Home Nightclub by seven in the morning so someone could hook up... I knew some of them were tripping, and personally I thought I might down some DXM as it seemed like a stupid place to have my first acid experience... Busy city, late night, etc. I sucked down one hit of blotter paper at 9.15pm. After an hour, sitting in the same area, the others begun laughing like there was no tomorrow... Keep in mind I had never even been around anyone who was tripping before, so I had to have it explained to me that this was the trip coming on. I felt nothing. At 10.15 I reached for my wallet and took a second one.

At eleven, just under two hours since I'd taken the first hit we moved along the belt, parallel with Macquarie street and the Botannical gardens to an artwork on a hill were the strip of grass came to an end. It was an arrangement of sandstone shapes, all of which were girders, arches, etc from fallen buildings. I felt strangely intoxicated... My mind felt as if it had been strangely lubriacted by some chemical... My thoughts were powerful, deep and strange. Sitting on one of those sandstone blocks which was supposed to be a coloumn for an old building, talking with (of all people) the stranger (who shall be known as T from now on) I realised I wasn't focusing on anything. I was moving my eyes every few seconds... I looked straight down and focused on the grass. Every single blade was vibrating and pivoting at the root at the same time... the individual blades had little purple tinges around the edges of them... Utterly astounded by this, I stood up and watched as they continued their vibrating &amp; pivoting across the whole field... Blink after blink, it didn't cease. T whipped me into it with her trippy behaviour. It was time to move, we walked to the street and under an overpass... It had a plain grey wall, on it I noticed what looked like a glass pannel (it wasn't) over a vibrating mass of confusing holograms... I put my hand on it and felt rushes up my arm... I thought I saw colours at my finger tips where I was making contact with the hallucination.

I felt very odd, but in a pleasant way. I looked up at the high rise buildings, which rippled (they bent and reshaped) with my thoughts... Whatever I put into my mind somehow manifested into hallucinations. Next came what must make some old time trippers nostalgic... A series of street lamps (lighting up the path we were on) were not quite the way they usually are... Their poles were bending and moving in a circular fashion. The large perspex sphere on top changed in that it looked like a stress ball getting squeezed... The circle of light they each provided moved around on the ground accordingly. It made me think of the fairy tales and such that had been inspired by the drug. I felt like my mind was a powerful, creative machine... Pumping out thoughts, vibrations and emotions in different ways... All showing up in my hallucinations, which were everywhere &amp; so intense by this point (it was about 12) that I could hardly make out what was twenty meters infront of me...

We had a slight problem. The only other person whos first trip it was, B, was freaking out something vicious. Even our nannies were tripping, so moving from place to place took hours. We reached Hyde Park at about 1.30... The visuals I was getting took me over... I clung to T, not scared but a little edgy. I wont explain my hallucinations in the park, but I'll use the following words and you can get an idea yourself: colours, shapes, time, emotion, feeling, overpowering, everywhere and reality?

At this point, roughly 2am, I realised I couldn't tell you where I was, other than saying 'Hyde Park' as I'd been told that's where we were. A friend of many years turned up. He sat on the bricks infront of me and proceeded tesselate with and melt into them... I smoked a cigearette - I felt it spread through my body, like a polluting force... I could almost see it happening too. The fountain did not take a solid form in the entire time we were there. Myself and F named a tree in the dark and pissed on it. My urine was extremely colourful, and it carried its colour on to the tree, before dropping onto the surrounding leaves.

Completely dumbfounded by this astonishingly creative and dreamy state of mind I had slipped into I talked a little. My thoughts raced, they pumped through my mind, developing and evolving as the words came out of my mouth to the point where when I uttered a few words to myself they'd changed with my thoughts as I spoke... Hence 'cantbelievintensohmcoloursarmythoughts' and such... I suppose that example doesn't do justice to the complexity, depth and rapid changing nature of the thoughts passing through my mind at that point. For many hours I could not compose a sentence.

Seventeen years old, tall &amp; thin, with equally intoxicated friends in Hyde Park on a friday night... Sounds like a recipie for disaster? I was not at all frightened. I could have let go - let fear taken me over, I know it... But I held on, and T congratulated me for not losing it as she had done on the same dose the week before... I had always thought of myself as a bit of a 'cosmic tripper', if you will... I love speed (not the drug), heights and other things... Flying a space ship through an asteroid field in a Star Wars video game was just so much fun... LSD is the drug I had been looking for. I can't quite word how I felt LSD connected with my mindset, but I'm sure others know what I'm talking about regardless of wording.

We decided to move down to Darling Harbour. I clung to T on the way, unsure of where the real roads were, which cars were real and watching the huge, towering buildings warping in and out with my thoughts. Colours spewed from neon signs, lights wobbled &amp; danced in circular patterns... If it were not for T, I would have crawled into a hole and waited for it to wear off. We walked past a loud, thumping party. I could see the music pumping out in translucent waves of colour... We got to Darling Harbour.

My mindset changed a little... Cockle bay wharf and in particular Home Nightclub have very odd designs... The water shimmered and mirrored my thoughts... My senses seemed to combine... I could feel what I could see, taste what I could hear, smell what I could feel... And thought was at the back of all of these... It was as if there was a tree graph of senses... Thought at the top, tieing taste, smell, touch, hearing and seeing together (which is normal, thought being my brain and the others my senses). The conneciton paths between them however, on LSD, had become two-way and new ones had grown to connect them all.

We sat in a playground, near the Imax theatre and below two freeways. I continued to trip balls... Everything that was vertical waved around, grew, shrunk, etc. Shadows turned into pools of water, then started shrinking... While they shrunk, I'd notice there was a gap in the bricks sucking them down... Vines grew from uncanny places, etc. I described what I was seeing to a long time tripper who replied that she'd 'give the devil a blowjob' to be where I was...

At about 4.30am, I started coming down. The visuals were much less intense, but my thoughts were still just as fucked. I got a bit wobby. A few friends who were in Sublime@Home that night came out to say hi to all of us... I got a Green ? of one of them and ate half of it at 5am... At 5.30, the MDMA packed little sucker hit me. The familiarity of MDMA crept through me... The acid came back on with it. I dropped the other half at 5.45 or so.

Sitting outside Home Nightclub I looked across the water. The sun had come up, it was almost 6. The novotel was waving... Pulsating with my heartbeat, the sun casting a golden glow across the windows, which, with every heart beat and shimmer of the building looked like they were spitting out little gold sparks... It was wonderful, intense and overpowering... I plan on candyflipping again. My mind was relatively weakened by this point, but I was off my chops. Body rushes, the city waving, my feet melting into the ground... I referenced back to T, my symbol of the real world for most of the night...

I bought all the nitrous bulbs we could find (40) and we walked to Centennial (spelling?) Park. We sat down and had them. They kicked the acid back in a little... I came down off the pill at about 9am. I was still tripping a little... Tiny vibrations though buildings, people, etc. I caught a bus home and had a very tricky discussion with my father at about 12 mid day. My pupils were still the size of saucers...

I sat in my room, collecting my thoughts, etc. I should add that I had an attention span of about 10 seconds, my eyes were tired and I felt really worn out. I was scattered as all shit... Any MDMA user will know what I mean by that. Combine MDMA scatteredness with acid scatteredness and you have one really boring, silent and pathetic day. I slept at 1pm, till 5pm. Ate some food, put on some music, spoke to a few friends and went to sleep for the night.

I was scared of LSD. I thought it would drive me insane in an open environment, or even if I just went for a drive with someone when tripping. LSD utterly amazing... I couldn't explain it in a sentence, so the conclusion here will probably be directed at the use of acid, not its effects. This is my notice to first time trippers that they should not be afraid of bad trips or unwanted spiritual change as it can be easily avoided if you know your mind. This may sound cocky, but I've known I have a strong mind for a long time. If you think you don't go easier than I did... Step it down... Go for the lounge setting or a smaller dose... Get closer friends to look after you. I had an awesome time on a heavy dose, with a total stranger (now a good friend) in the middle of the urban jungle.

Enough rambling from me... I hope I've helped in some way.

Good luck and remember that acid is a truly rewarding experience... Don't be afraid of it.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 9585

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 8, 2002	Views: 42,974

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 1:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   140 lb

I had experimented with different psychedelic drugs from age 16 and taken LSD many times, always enjoyable and sometimes inspiring.   On 1/4/69 we were given some red tablets of LSD that had a solid reputation among our peers for being very 'clean' yet strong. Normally I always made sure to trip on nice days with a close friend or two.  This time however we dropped about 7:30 PM and the weather was cold, dark and wintry.

After taking one tab, about an hour later we were having some very intense and pleasant visual color hallucinations and body rushes, so like fools, we decided to 'intensify' and drop another tab (stupid...  I almost never do this, as I end up coming on to one dose and starting to peak on the earlier dose at the same time).

About an hour later as the second tab was starting to hit hard, every sensation (visual, audio, sensual/physical, .. all senses) that had previously been pleasant began to 'mutate' into discomfort.  It was accompanied by anxiety, extreme nervousness, and it became impossible &amp; uncomfortable to sit, lie down or stand still.   I could not bear to look at anything, listen to anything, feel anything, stand or sit anywhere, talk to anyone, or be by myself.  I could not breathe without concentrating every muscle in my upper chest to do so.

Time slowed to a crawl.  All I wanted to do was get out of my body &amp; mind, escape my skin, or somehow find a way to make this  experience stop immediately.

These awful sensations continued to intensify for another hour until neither I nor my friends knew what to do.  Like unprepared fools, we had no thorazine, etc.   Fearing I was either going to go insane or die, my companions eventually decided that, cops be damned, they were going to call an ambulance.

They gathered up all drugs/paraphenalia,etc. in the apartment, called the hospital, and left.   I did not want them to stay and have to deal with hostile cops, risking arrest...don't forget, they were tripping heavily too, though not bumming like I was.  In those days, anyone involved in any type of drug-related situation went directly to jail.

They left the front door open for the medics and police.   I lay in bed in the back bedroom until I heard the ambulance siren coming in the distance.

Two cops came in first, shined a flashlight in my face, determined it was safe for the medics, and then I was strapped to a guerney and taken downstairs, outside, and placed in the ambulance.

At about that same time, just as it felt things could get no worse, as I lay strapped on the guerney in the ambulance all of a sudden there was a strong sensation inside my head that could only be described as feeling something bursting and then 'melting' over my brain.  Instead of causing more pain or anxiety, it had the opposite effect, best described as a gradual and merciful release of pressure inside my skull.  I slowly began to sink into a quiet, almost comatose state, but still awake and with my eyes slightly open.  I still remember vividly how intense the wildly swirling colors were inside and outside the ambulance as the paramedic drove through the cold night with the bright spinning overhead ambulance lights on but quietly cruising without the siren to the hospital.

By the time we arrived and I had been transferred to a bed in the emergency room, I had already begun to recover.  After about a half an hour of examination and some continued, repetitive &amp; ridiculous inquisition from emergency room nurses ('What's your name?   how old are you,' etc.) I was left alone.   Unbelievably I hopped out of the bed and began to walk around the emergency ward, tripping out like some space cadet on all the gunshot victims, attempted suicides, etc. and remarkably feeling almost completely recovered and relaxed.  Trippin' in the trauma center...

Out of curiosity, boredom I went through all the drawers near my bed.  I helped myself to a few souvenirs, including some ammonia poppers and a hemostat that later on became a great roach clip.

Souvenirs in hand (pockets actually) I proceeded to walk out of the hospital.  In all the weekend emergency-room chaos, only one person on staff noticed I was leaving.  He asked me where was I going and told me I had to stay until I was released by a doctor.  I replied that I was fine, and 'I'm getting the hell out of here.'

Instead of protesting or calling a cop he pushed a hospital form in my face and said, 'Sign this, .. it says you've been treated.'  I laughed, so did he, I signed the paper and walked out the door into the street.  I walked all the way home (about 3 miles) through the city streets, still tripping mildly and very relieved to have survived a truly awful night virtually (I thought) unscathed.

A week later I convinced myself I should not let this one negative experience scare me out of regular and recreational LSD use.   Like a stubborn idiot ('get back on the horse') I got some more of the exact same acid from the same guy and dropped one tab again.

About an hour later, there were almost no rushes or colors, but I began to feel the exact same type of symptoms &amp; anxieties again, only greatly reduced in intensity.    I decided that my body/brain, nature/whatever was trying to tell me that I had been pushing my luck too often.  I had been taking increasing amounts more frequently &amp; trying to regain the initial 'magic' feeling I had felt when I first took LSD, without giving my mind/body/psyche enough time to take it all in and recover.  In short.... the party was over.

I continued to occasionally experience minor flashbacks and brief but noticeable anxiety attacks for approximately 6 months to 1 year after 'hell night' &amp; didn't completely recover and return to normal (whatever that is) until about 12 months later.   Even smoking a little marijuana had the effect of bringing on minor anxiety, paranoia and flashbacks. I stopped taking drugs of any kind for about 4 years.

I consider myself fortunate to be able to look back and laugh at my immature and reckless stupidity and lack of respect for what is a very powerful substance.  IMHO, LSD should to be treated with respect.

I now enjoy cannabis (I love Amsterdam and go there occasionally for a month or so to sample the world-class weed &amp; hash), but I doubt that I will ever find a reason or desire to take acid again.    I enjoyed LSD and must have tripped happily and successfully about 25 times, which for me was more than enough to retain some insight and something positive from the experience. I feel great, and since my mind and spirit ain't broke, I'm not going to try to fix it.

I hope no one reading this ever has a bad trip like the one described above, and that your LSD experiences are peaceful, pleasant, fun and enlightening.

Exp Year: 1969	ExpID: 18533

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 30, 2002	Views: 48,065

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LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Hospital (36)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:15
		 120 mg
		 oral
		 MDMA
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   110 lb

June 2002

My partner and I were traveling through the southwestern States, camping in magical forests, deserts, mountain ranges and near beaches.  We were each exploring ourselves and our own minds, both independently but also together.  On this particular afternoon we were setting up camp in the Valley of Fire, which is located just about 40 minutes outside of Las Vegas, NM.  It was about 110 degrees outside and the sun was shining brightly overhead, but by the time we arrived and set up our gear the sun was saying goodbye and dusk was falling upon us.  I was looking very forward to this combination since I had quite a bit of experience with both LSD and MDMA separately but had never taken the two together.  We finished setting up our gear and took the LSD before the sun had set completely, seeing as it was a bit longer lasting than the MDMA.

We had the perfect camping spot.  There was no one else around us and we were off the road a ways, hidden from late arriving site prospectors.  We also had a terrific blood red sandstone wall to hide us, which had a roomy hole that had been formed by the wind and was large enough for us to spread out our sleeping bag and put a boom box into it.  We could lay up there comfortably, just high enough to be a ways from the ground, and watch the stars and sip our hot tea.

The rock was still warm from the afternoon sun and although my environment felt perfect my body did not.  About one hour after ingesting the LSD, I felt a strong urge to vomit.  I have been nauseous from LSD before, but had never thrown up.  This vacation had been rather hard on my body; I was biking and hiking even more than usual, living on only granola and fruit and exploring the realities of the psychedelic world once every few days – after all, it was vacation.  Actually, I think it was the tea on an empty stomach that pushed me over the edge because after I rid my stomach of it I felt so much better.

I was clearly feeling the effects of the LSD.  My body produced an internal vibrating sensation and the stars were entertaining me with their dances above my head.  The sky was particularly clear, just as I remembered previous overnight stays in the Valley.  Because we were in a valley the city lights from Vegas did not pollute the sky.  My partner, who always notices the effect of a psychedelic much sooner than I, suggested we take the MDMA, so that we did.  Several feet above the ground, lying in our warm cubby carved in stone and listening to Radiohead’s Kid A I could not have been more content.

LSD seems to penetrate every particle that composes the Erica as I know her.  I cannot direct or control the effects of this material, nor do I wish to be able to do so.  In fact, I choose not to experiment with LSD very often because it is so powerful that I need quite a bit of time between takes to truly incorporate my experience into daily life.  By the time the MDMA began to show itself to me, I was already at a plus three but still felt the presence of my body.  My inner thinker was still thinking and I felt somewhat uncomfortable in my body and was unsure of where this trip was heading.  A state of total relaxation was a bit difficult to achieve because of this, and my partner and I were distant in mind as he was floored from this combination several minutes before me.  So, I just accepted my thinker and went with the thoughts rather than dwell on the fact that they kept creeping in.

About 40 minutes after taking the MDMA the effects were fully noticeable and I was quickly leaving my body behind.  In fact, there was no longer a thinker to turn off, nor was there even an Erica to experience the thinker.  I had now become one of those stars that I was so actively watching, and I was dancing high above what we know of as Earth, with other strange sources of energy that felt calm but electric.  I was fortunate enough to be at a plus four by this point; my human body had dissolved into pure existence.  Each and every particle that makes up who I am had separated and defined itself in the world, it was as if my particles were now those same stars I was enjoying earlier.  I could literally see each particle, millions of them independent of one another, glowing and revolving around one another.  The MDMA brought on a cornucopia of emotions, feelings of oneness, love, joy, bliss, contentment, and peace.

The other energies surrounding me were sharing these feelings with me and also seemed to be interacting with my particles.  I suppose the only way to describe this interaction would be to say that my physical had eluded my mental, and was left behind in the red stone wall, leaving my mind to wander freely throughout the universe and its various dimensions of time and space.  Through this separation of mind and body I was able to interact with other minds and exchange information and knowledge, not of any particular topic per se, but rather some sort of universal knowledge that I would not fully understand at this juncture in my life.  However, it all seemed to make perfect sense to me while I was experiencing this exchange, and even now I do not question what was so intimately shared with me.  As Radiohead so eloquently put it, everything was in its right place.

As far as the visual world appeared, my particles were white lights, glowing so brightly in the blackness of the night sky.  I recall my partner asking, “why is the sky so black”, to which I replied, “because the sky is infinite, and infinity has no color.”  Against the black sky I experienced such infinity, a realm where time and space had no meaning and where minds were free to exchange information without encumbrance, where there were no questions to be asked.  The whiteness of the energies completed the picture, one in which opposites were inseparable, complementary, and mutually supplanted by each other.  Each particle of energy was vibrating slightly and rotating around nearby particles, yet their source could not be specified.  Everything belonged to one another, there was no particular identity within the ocean of molecules and it was beyond beautiful.  We were not competing to share what we knew with one another, all were free to release information simultaneously with no interference from one another.

As I slowly returned I felt thankful and blessed to have been given such a special experience.  It is all too often that I get caught up in my daily rituals only to forget the bigger picture.  On a bit of a side note, while my partner and I were both returning to our bodies I noticed something casting a shadow on our rock.  I recall thinking, and perhaps even saying aloud, that I saw a mouse but dismissed it since I was tripping.

My partner, however, jumped up and insisted that we relocate because he felt something crawling on his arm and it felt much too large to be a bug.  After jumping down from our claimed space in the stone, we were surprised to see that we were sharing it the entire time with a cute little desert mouse.  It was scurrying around the rock through various little holes, and hanging out by the fire that we had built earlier.  The only concern that I had was that where there are desert mice there are also hungry desert snakes, so we abandoned our hole for the evening and relaxed in the red sand by our fire.  The next morning we found that we must have been sharing the space with several mice, as their droppings were scattered throughout smaller spaces beyond where we were lying.  Although I did not mind the fact that these curious visitors surrounded me I was happy that none had crawled into our warm sleeping bag, invading my personal space.

This trip reminded me of my place in this universe, which was rather humbling.  It further reminded me that my experience of the world is relative to my perspective.  I firmly believe that the optimal experience involves freeing myself from slavish commitment to convention, which enables me to then see clearly and act spontaneously and unobtrusively.  Thus, life as a human is like perceiving the world through rose colored glasses, and tripping is like removing those glasses and getting a glimpse of the universe for what it truly is.  I cannot imagine taking this combination indoors or in public, as it will be reserved only for the most special of occasions.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 20716

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jan 24, 2003	Views: 49,843

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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:45
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:30
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 2:15
		 0.25 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:59
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Tobacco - Cigarettes

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

My father was a few years too old to be a hippy but not too old to be a bit of a head.  We grew up as best friends and (for better or worse) it was he who introduced me to marijuana and alcohol.  To this day we both share a fondness for pharmaceutical opiates that keeps us searching for the perfect buzz.

We were a middle-class family - not rich by any means but we had what we wanted.  My father was addicted to travel, something that he passed on to me. When my senior year of High School was in full swing my father gave me a choice:  At graduation you can have a new car OR we can backpack across Asia for three months.

New car or Asia?  New car or Asia?  Hmmmm - which one would you choose?

So before long we had our 'round the world' tickets in hand and the day came for us to leave.  My uncle and a number of friends were at our house to say goodbye and we departed - with a stop at Grandma's house on the way to the airport. As we were leaving Grandma's my uncle tore into the driveway with his car.  He had forgotten to give us something.  He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and dug out two hits of blotter acid. 'I know that the right time and place for you to experience this will become apparent,' he told me.  We hid the two hits in my father's camera.  (I won't reveal where as it is a hiding place that continues to serve me well.)

Fast forward three months and after visiting a number of countries and seeing and doing the most amazing things and meeting wonderful people and making wonderful friends we found ourselves in Srinigar, the capital of Kashmir in Northern India.  Because of border violence with Pakistan I don't think its easy to get to Srinigar anymore, but back then we reached it with relative ease. We stayed on a houseboat in Srinigar on beautiful Lake Dal.  For some reason the English never took complete control of Kashmir and it remained under the rule of a Maharaja who enforced a law stating that no English could own land in Kashmir.  The English wanted to be there in the Himalayan foothills to escape the unbearable summer heat in the rest of India.  To circumvent the 'no land ownership' law they built elaborate palace-like houseboats - thousands of them - all to sit on the lake.

By the time we got there in the late 80s the British were of course gone and the houseboats were all privately owned and the focal point of a huge tourist business in this city - mostly for wealthy Hindus from the south trying to escape from the heat, but for adventurous Westerners as well. The boat we ended up on was the 'Omar Khayyam' (all the boats had names) and it was owned and run by a muslim family.  The father's name was 'Golem' which I got a kick out of being a LOTR fan. The boats were usually big enough to accomodate more than one party and so we were soon joined on the Omar Khayyam by a charming Irish couple with whom we hit it off immediately.  Golem scored some hash for us (he said he could get us a kilo of hash for USD$100 if we wanted...) and we spent several days in the fantastic Himalayan air relaxing, reading and getting to know one another.

We (my father, myself and the Irish couple, 'J&amp;M' from here on) decided that we wanted to go up into the Himalayan mountains east to the ancient Tibetan city of Leh in a semi-province of India called 'Ladakh.' Ladakh is the part of Tibet that falls on the Indian side of the border with China.  It had also been the destination of tens of thousands of Tibetan refugees after the Chinese takeover of Tibet in 1959.  Ladakh is not far from where the Dalai Lama himself makes his home in India. Getting there is a story unto itself, the brief version of which is that it took two full days in a Hindustani Ambassador (a popular Indian made car) as part of a military caravan to get to Leh, the capital of Ladakh on the most dangerous road I have ever seen.  With the height of these mountains and their roads and the poor condition of them I would find it hard to believe that a more dangerous highway exists.

Anyway, we finally reached Leh and it was amazing.  An ancient Tibetan town that was just beginning to be seriously touched by tourism.  We found a hotel where all rooms opened onto a beautiful garden where an ancient ascetic in full Tibetan garb set chanting and spinning his prayer wheel for the entire time we were there - we never saw him eat or drink or get up - nothing. When you reach this sort of altitude in the Himalayas there is no water - it is like a desert (often described as a 'moonscape') and subsequently there is very little vegetation - except where water has been irrigated in.  So the town sat at the edge of a mountain overlooking a barren plain and the town itself was an emerald of green because it received meager irrigation. My father and I decided that this would be the place for me to experience the LSD.  My father was concerned about heart palpitations he was having so he decided not to trip however our Irish companion (J of J &amp; M) decided to join me.

My uncle had recommended taking a quarter tab, waiting 45 minutes, taking another, waiting another 45 minutes, etc. until something came on.  I felt nothing and finally took the 4th and final quarter.  It was around this time that we ran into J, told him what was going on and he joined in, simply taking the whole tab.  J had never tripped either. With my father I climbed up above the town to a small, ancient cemetary full of crumbling, white-washed burial stupas.  The town was below us, bustling with activity and the vast empty valley stretched out for miles ahead. There is a small muslim community in Leh and the call to prayer began, amplified by a loud-speaker somewhere.  It was at that moment that the LSD hit me like a ton of bricks.  I stood up, grinning, and told my father 'Its on!'

What a place to be a young man experiencing LSD for the first time.  We walked down the mountain back into town and through the streets - streets filled with camels, Tibetan monks, emaciated European backpackers, chai stalls, truck drivers, dirty faced Tibetan kids and pretty Tibetan women who smiled unabashedly when you looked them in the eye. I was tripping hard so we retreated to the peace of the hotel garden where the old man was spinning his prayer wheel.  'J' somehow found us and joined us and we sat there in bliss, trying to take it all in.

This LSD experience was mechanically the most interesting for me ever.  I was filled with happiness and love and respect and I was acutely aware of where I was geographically and historically and what the things around me meant. I also experienced things like hearing the hinge on a gate squeak from 100 yards away.  I can remember lighting a cigarette and following a train of thought and vision that seemed to last hours, only to look down at the cigarette and find hardly the tiniest bit of ash had accumulated at the end of it.

I had heard from my father that when he had done LSD one time he looked in the mirror and saw his flesh fall away from his face.  With this image fully implanted in my young mind I went into the bathroom and saw the same thing - my face melted away leaving my grinning skull.  I lifted my shirt and the flesh rotted away leaving my ribcage exposed.  I found this incredibly funny and amusing and was having trouble keeping from laughing uncontrollably.

J and I sat for hours in the yard talking and infecting one another with giggle-fits.

We ran out of cigarettes and I was delegated the task of buying a new pack somewhere so I left the garden on foot to walk around the marketplace in full-trip.  I grinned and smiled at everyone and they grinned and smiled back.  I found someplace to buy the smokes and had a great deal of difficulty figuring out how the money worked, how to pay, etc., but eventually I persevered.

J's partner M was pissed at us because we effectively forced her to stick around town that day instead of exploring temples within driving distance in the surrounding area.  I didn't let it bother me, nor did J, however as the afternoon wore on and the effects gradually faded we were grateful as we felt the need to reconnect with M and do something special for her. By the time we were more-or-less back to normal we were on our way to a 'fancy' (everything is relative) restaurant with Tibetan fare that M had expressed an interest in.

To this day I have yet to have any chemical experience that even approached this one in terms of emotion, connection to the surrounding landscape and people, a sense of history, a sense of cameraderie.  It was even very special in that my father officially passed the torch of psychedelia to me on that day.

J &amp; M are no longer a couple but we still keep in touch with J and see him periodically.  Several years later J became sort of a hero in his country because he rescued a near-dead fisherman who had been adrift in 'the horse latitudes' for weeks.

I often wonder if the experience in Ladakh changed my life and if so, what did it change.  The memory of that day is burned into my mind with such clarity - unusual clarity as I do not consider myself as someone with a great memory or great ability to recall events.

So kids - when its graduation time and your Dad gives you a choice of a car or a trip to Asia, choose Asia.

Exp Year: 1988	ExpID: 20914

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Feb 6, 2003	Views: 44,932

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Families (41), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:30
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 2:00
		 2.5 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Alprazolam
		 (pill / tablet)

		   T+ 2:30
		 15 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Diazepam
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   68 kg

Lyserg-Saeure-Diaethylamid (Lysergic acid diethylamide-25) - the brainchild of Dr. Albert Hoffman. This was the first drug I've ever taken and I've had about 35 trips of acid since then. Unfortunately, this substance seems to be rarer these days and I haven't seen it around for years! LSD is not available in Malaysia (at least I've never come across it) and even in Melbourne, there's only rumors that acid is around but no one seems to be able to get hold of any.

I recently managed to get in touch with someone who can actually deliver this rare (or so it seems) chemical. The best thing was the price - it's only A$15 for each blotter! It has been 6 years since I've last tripped on acid, and I'm sure glad to see it around, so I bought 3 blotters. The blotter art is a picture of a Buddha with a green face and a blue head piece.

I intended to take a single blotter because it's been a while since I've tripped and these Buddha blotters were said to be strong. I perforated one blotter and put it under my tongue and listened to some psy-trance. My past experiences with LSD were always in raves, but I wanted to take it in a safe environment this time to gauge the strength. It was strong acid alright, and I made the mistake of dropping the other two blotters when I felt the first familiar effects take hold.

I thought I could handle the experience but I haven't taken into account my frame of mind (not so good) at the time. I knew that taking all three blotters was a mistake when things started getting too intense and I had to shut off the music. I've forgotten the utter mind-fuck that LSD produces and I spent the night reading the Psychedelic Crisis FAQ [erowid.org].

I knew deep down that everything was alright and it's just the acid that's fucking with my mind', but if you've taken a high dose of LSD, you know how things can get out of control inside your mind. :) I'll admit it, I was terrified. I know that everything would go back to normal in 10 hours, but everything was so intense, so unstoppable that I had a bad trip. I was utterly blindsided by the strength of these blotters - taking all 3 was a mistake indeed.

I know that I'm not going insane. It's just the acid, it'll all be good in 10 hours, I tell myself. I know it's impossible to overdose on LSD (the LD-50 is very, very high) but I was scared that I'll be insane forever. I actually seriously considered checking myself into a hospital! Imagine that! What ludicrous thoughts I entertain in my mind while under the influence! I know it's just the drugs, and I'm really glad I had enough experience to stop things from getting really out of control.

I practically tore apart a blister pack of Xanax (alprazolam) in an effort to calm down. 2.5 mg of Xanax didn?t do anything, so I sedated myself with a further 15 mg of Valium (diazepam). I shut down all the lights (to reduce stimulus) and laid in bed with blankets around me, watching the trails as the blankets moved. Closing my eyes produced repetitively green geometric patterns flowing and morphing through my vision and I was getting auditory hallucinations too. I opened my eyes to see a warped room that I could barely recognize, the proportions were wrong and things were too fluid.

Finally, the benzos did their magic but I still couldn't sleep. It was a weird state of feeling like I was floating to sleep, and then the acid kicks in and I jerk awake into an unfamiliar room. I was pretty much sedated by then though, so I got up and managed to resume the trip report I was trying to keep. Hah! :) I don't remember much after that, but I know I went out to get some food and saw someone and had to avoid eye contact while getting food. That's about the only thing I remembered clearly before managing to eat and sleep. Here's the trip report, in all its unedited glory:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

things you might want to know: yes, i licked the scanner after. might be nothing, but eh, i've done nastier things ;)

took 1 blotter

t+30 felt the effects

it was so nice to see uncle sid again

very positive and quite strong and i felt such a positive vibe, i took the remaining two

took the two remaining blotters at t+30

t+60

okay, i'm regretting that now. very intense.

okay so regretting it now.

its to intense. like with the codiytion of acid being the way it is most pepl have never had a full hitt and dose . i'm respectign this now. i'ved forgotten ny respect for you uncke side

wow

xanax 2,6mg

reduce stimulous going offline and shutting lights down now

psychedelic crisis faq

fuck it i'm aborting

don't want to be a danger to myuself and others

can't abort even with 2.6 mg xanax

still going strong

i'm aware of everything, just wouldn't want anoe to see me in this sate now

wow i underestimated lsd

don't ever do that, if you are, chances are you're not taking a hard dose or you'll find it hard to conrol even with experience if alone

t + can't think properly

this is reli strong dose to affect this way empahais that if they've never taken experienced such midn budnering wat is true wat is fiction?

repect it i wonder how many ppl can handle this kind of things alone and still have the reality achor to know themselves

quit this self serviding bullshit and get done

managed to get myself soome food in: i think there was something that was said abotut men not khlepong another girl take in her stuff, but sorry thats just coz i was in the middle of a psychedulic crisis and was trying to aboidinb eye contatct!!! sorry i would have helped otherwise but not when i'm fucking tripping ballz on lsd. and i dun even know if you're a fucking polis or somehow related to yes and is gonna tip me in or something

gosh now that i think about it its scaring me. i acted normal

seems that i can't abort it and the xanax is really mking me feel less anxtious and forgot about things too thats the bad part but yeah eveyrthing is fine and dandy

end of story: this has taught me an important lesson. dont think that you know all there is to a drug and can 'hadle' it. given me repsect on lsd an whe  intense warp in can have on everything, antyhing and evertyhgin

:)

open cevs

you haven't had really good acid unless you're sure you're on it

think to youself about how we care so much about what others peicee us of

jaw PERMENANTLY CLENCHED

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next day feeling embarrassed for getting so completely 0wn3d by a substance I thought I was experienced in. I'm utterly humiliated by what I wrote in the trip journal, but I'm going to post it anyway, coz it shows how badly strong psychedelics like LSD can mess with your mind. =D It's disjointed and hard to read, but there you go, everything I wrote posted as is. Buddha taught me how to write the word 'respect' that day. Oh well, no harm no foul, and I'm going to treat acid more carefully now.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 24002

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: May 27, 2003	Views: 206,246

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LSD (2), Pharms - Alprazolam (98), Pharms - Diazepam (115) : Alone (16), Bad Trips (6)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 0:30
		 22 mg
		 oral
		 2C-I
		 (powder / crystals)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   70 kg

I recently decided to trip in honor of the beginning summer and a spell of extraordinarily good mood. I pondered the range of substances available, and was intrigued by the idea of trying a new combination. I decided it should be a tryptamine/phenethylamine combo, and at first considered trying 5-MeO-DiPT and 2C-I, 2C-I being one of my favourite substances so far. 5-MeO-DiPT, however, seems to be a tricky substance that has the habit of being quite dissapointing one time and giving you a big surprise the next; also I was a bit worried about the fact that the only experience report on Erowid about this combination was a negative one. So I decided to raid my ever dwindling supply of trusty old LSD instead.

A word about the dosages is perhaps in order. I took 2 hits of moderately strong 'European' blotter acid, which many people say to be much stronger than 'American' acid; a typical estimate (based on what, I don't know) is 2-3 times as strong. I am something of a hardhead, and 2 hits from this batch has been my usual dose, while my friends usually take only one to trip pretty nicely. I chose to take the usual dose, as LSD has the reputation of a very safe drug physically. The 2C-I dose was 22mg (+-2mg), which is a moderate dose for me; usually I have taken a bit more.

The general timeframe of the trip was roughly as follows:

+0:00		intake of LSD

+0:30		intake of 2C-I

+1:00		coming up

+1:30-+3:30	most intense peak

+3:30-+5:00	still going strong

+5:00-		gradual comedown

+17:00		able to sleep (with help of small benzodiazepine dose)

For impatient readers, a short description of the experience:

The combination of LSD and 2C-I proved to be excellent. The peak of the trip was awesome, extremely positive and quite intense. The 2C-I seemed to complement the LSD in a subtle, yet remarkable way. The visual quality of the trip was amazing. The later stages of the trip and the comedown were a bit more shaky in terms of positive/negative mood, but still very enjoyable most of the time.

A more detailed description of the trip follows.

--

The day of the trip arrived and was bright, warm and sunny. I chose an inside setting anyway, namely my apartment, for I didn't really know what to expect and my usual policy with regards psychedelic substances is 'better safe than sorry'. The sun got me in a great mood though, and after a productive day I dropped the acid first at 17:00 (+0:00).The first alerts of the acid were felt 15 minutes after that, heralding quite an intensive trip. I dropped the 2C-I in a gelcap half an hour later (+0:30).

At 18:00 (+1:00), I was already tripping quite nicely and at 18:30 (+1:30) I already was marvelling at how good the combination was. After this, the really intense part started, lasting about two hours. As is the nature of the psychedelic experience, I find the peak impossible to describe in words, so I will not even try to go into much detail, but will instead try to describe some general qualities of the experience.

The experience resembled a pure LSD trip much more than a pure 2C-I trip, probably because the 2C-I dose was relatively low. The trip was not really that intense in a way, but the sense of wonder and the absolute beauty of everything was incredible. I have had much more intense trips with LSD and psilocube mushrooms, but the 2C-I gave the experience a 'shimmer' the like of which I have only glimpsed at before. The experience was quite immersive, for example changing the music did not even occur to me until quite late in the peak, as it was so integrated into my very being. Some adjectives that could be used to describe the trip might be, for example, 'sunny', 'glowing', 'mystical', and 'rejuvenating'.

Worth noting is the extremely positive mood that prevailed for the whole peak. Usually my trips, especially with LSD, are marked by fluctuation of mood from positive to negative, sometimes resulting in quite dark and introspective probings of the psyche (not something I would categorize as a 'bad trip' in any way, though). This time, however, the experience remained almost completely on the light side. This did not stop me from having several meaningful insights about the nature of the world and my place in it. The 2C-I seemed not only to add to the LSD experience, but subtly restructure it in some way, making it perhaps more controllable in a sense. It should be noted, however, that some of the positive quality of the trip might very well simply be due to the good mood I had experienced in the previous days.

The visual quality of the trip was amazing. I seldom have noteworthy visuals on psychedelics, but the 2C-I gave the 'usual LSD visuals' a nice twist, making everything look almost unbelievably beautiful. My apartment bathing in the sun was radiant and colours were perhaps deeper and more intense than I have ever seen. The 'phenethylamine visuals' of 2C-I were also present (mainly tracers and afterimages for me).

The most intense and amazing part of the trip only lasted for about two hours, which in retrospect seems a little short, and most likely reflects the duration of the peak of the 2C-I. The two hours seemed to last for an incredibly long time though; the effect of this combination on subjective time was much greater than that of either of the two substances alone. At about 20:30 (+3:30) I noticed that the intensity of the experience was beginning to drop, however the LSD part of the trip was still going strong and the visuals, for example, were still awesome. The 2C-I part of the experience gradually faded away, leaving the LSD part, which also started to gradually fade away at about +5:00, which was approximately when I started to be able to easily use reason and logic again.

A noteworthy event happened at +4:00, when my computer crashed, which was very confusing and among other things brought an end to the music that was playing. Immediately after I rebooted and was recovering mental control of the situation, another situation arose which required me to communicate with several persons on IRC and make complicated assessments about several things. This confused me to no end, and for about an hour I was quite frustrated and gloomy. Luckily, at that point the trip was starting to wind down and soon I was able to grasp the situation more clearly and the rest of the experience was again very enjoyable. However, this serves to illustrate that the later stages of the experience were somewhat fickle (as is usually the case with my LSD trips).

From about +5:00 onwards, the trip was the usual psychedelic comedown for me. The clarity and fluidity of the peak were rapidly fading, but the prolonged endstages of psychedelic experiences are rarely 'rough' or irritable for me, and this time proved to be no different. From midnight (+7:00) onwards I repeatedly smoked cannabis and mellowed out. I was pretty tired, but I found I was unable to sleep until at about 10 AM the next day (+17:00), after taking 15mg of oxazepam. I often have some trouble sleeping after taking psychedelics, and have found that in my case combining tryptamines and phenethylamines results in even more prolonged wakefulness. Once, after taking LSD, MBDB and a small amount of 2C-B, I was unable to sleep for about 30 hours, and even then was only able to fall asleep with the help of medication! The next two days I felt quite worn out physically, and slept for large amounts of time.

All in all, the trip was extremely enjoyable. I usually hesitate to recommend any drugs, especially research chemicals, but I can't help commenting that this was a VERY good psychedelic combination and in my opinion well worth trying for those who know what they are doing, have experience with both substances and have found them enjoyable (it seems that relatively many people do not enjoy 2C-I  as much as I do). I have a feeling that using high dosages might be counter-productive, so I recommend at least starting low. Personally, I will definitely try this combination again. The next time I will most likely take the 2C-I somewhat later, to adjust the timing of the peaks a bit. Happy tripping and be careful :)

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 24323

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jun 7, 2003	Views: 28,930

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LSD (2), 2C-I (172) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 25 g
		 oral
		 Banisteriopsis caapi
		 (extract)

		   T+ 0:30
		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 2:00
		 40 g
		 oral
		 Diplopterys cabrerana
		 (extract)

		   T+ 3:05
		 40 g
		 oral
		 Diplopterys cabrerana
		 (extract)

		   T+ 11:00
		 1 cig.
		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 18:00
		 1 glass
		 oral
		 Alcohol - Beer/Wine
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 18:00

		 smoked
		 Cannabis
		 (plant material)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   75 kg

Yage, LSD, Chaliponga (D. Carberana), Cannabis

SET: I've taken a day off from studies to explore the Other, bacause soon I'll be forced to spend most of my days on studies.

SETTING: Home, alone - for the most part.

3:30am / T+0:0

Downed 25g of B.Caapi liquid extract, which was prepared 3 weeks before.

T+0:30

1 hit of Hoffman 2000 blotter (LSD) under the tongue. None of the characteristic Yage buzzing effects in the ears so far.

T+0:55

I can feel the Yage. No buzzing sound in my ears, but Yage is definitely here. My stomach just a slight bit uneasy. The Yage/harmala high seems to be like a heavily sedated one. I feel a little numb and lucid, but nothing near a true psychedelic way.

T+1:5

Visual reality is slowly changing. Mind operating feels like its about to burst into a full psychedelic state.

T+1:10

Feeling altered, but still more on the Caapi than the acid. No wonder.

T+1:15

Weird electrical skin sensations. Like feeling the electrical charge of my body passing through my skin.

T+1:35

Closer inspection brings visual around everything. Different types than acid (and acid with S.Rue). This feels totally grabbing of me. No happy, go-go stuff. It feels serious. I think thats from the sedated/altered feeling of the Caapi alone - it infuses the voyage with a different quality.

T+2h

I watch a colorful blanket turn into a sea of morphing colour. In semi darkness, visions of trees appear. Their stems seem to be mapped on the walls and their branches bloom and blossom into the ceiling. Also, Escher type visials of lizards are apparent in darkness. They have a characteristic yellow/orange/red type of quality - I think this is from the Caapi.

During this last hour and a half I try again and again to force myself to down some D. cabrerana extract, which was prepared 3 weeks before - and unfortunately burnt to a caramelose goo in the process of reducing - so, it tastes more foul and the idea of gulping it down is hard to manage. This has happened before, trying to down the Ayahuasca admixture - I feel spaced and my limbs seem easy and light - and I feel altered enough, already, to take anything more.

So, I manage to down half of approx. 80g cooked (and burnt) D. cabrerana. To my pleasant surprise, the alkaloids are active, even though they formed a caramelosed goo. I nearly puke, even as I drink it. I manage to keep my mind in control, thinking that it's only the mind that will triger the puking. I salivate as hell for 2-3 minutes, but the nausea slips. No puke. I am not too sure about how much the admixture affected my voyage at this point, but later on I realised it was definitely active.

T+2:55

I am (still) peaking. Yage is a totally different feeling. I spend most of my time in silent darkness trying to have a 'conversation with the Other'. This is less sucessful than previous attempts - however I still feel strongly that I will be exploring entheogens alone, in silent darkness.

T+3:05

I swallow rest of the DC. I felt that it wouldn't be so much of a problem this time and I'm correct. I immidiately feel the effects of the DMT. It manifests in blue-purple neonish kind of visuals around everything. Watching the snow outside, edges seem blurred in a cartoon vision of sorts. The feeling of the voyage changes - there is a more ancient, sacred, ethnic feel to it, something more grounded than the acid feeling.

T+...

I feel like a input processor of sorts. I process food, information, light and what not. Whilst in this state, the inputs to my system seem very obvious. Eg. food, DMT - I can feel it straight as it enters my system.

A second time, I'm totally into this 'systems' trip scenario. Everything is a system and the system is everything.

My thoughts go around pondering the meaning of different kinds of systems. Education systems, human body system, social systems, economic systems etc.

The Yage/DMT however gave a little different quality to this. It felt more integrated, more at home and more 'earthy' - not a kind of high-tech paranoid mind-fuck psychedelic quality.

I must note that I've been getting entities, almost all the time. I've been in the company of a huge tentacled ball- it seems etched into the design of everything - like a shadow cast over my field of vision. On it's tentacles, multicolored letters seem to appear from time to time. From time to time, on two of the tentacles, wicked eyes appear - these seem like the tykes/plastikman type of entities I've already met. Another interesting thing is, that in pitch black darkness, a very definite aparatus which looks like an insect vacuum cleaner of sorts, appears in front of my head - it seems attached to it, with tentacles very similiar to the tentacles of the tentacled ball, yet somehow very different - they feel like an aparatus, not like organic tentacles as is the case with the ball.

They don't seem to be very communicative - last time the inner dialogue thing, feeling like the Other is talking to me, was more active. This time there was less 'chatter'. I must note that this feeling is not really like talking to the entities I'm getting, but like talking to the Other - the 'Everything else'.

Another thing to note is the audio hallucinations - they were a lil' less active for the most, but there were a few bursts of activity, when they would make short phrases of flanged, phased rhytms.

T+11h

I smoke some sinsemillia mixed with some regular dope and proceed to having a total vision. I take a cup with a little water and put it in front of my eyes. In the reflections from the water and the cup, real visions appear.

I see a cosmic space, filled with stars/dots - these stars make objects, like planets, bicycles and other random things. This sort of thing has never happened before.

Moving the glass a little, chanting and moving my whole body helps this general synaesthesia. I feel that language/meaning, streamed from the domain of the mind into this real world just drives this thing mad - it responds presenting beauty in the form of visions/visuals.

I am not too sure about the next part, but I think that in this cosmic joke I was a part of, I met a new sort of entities - it feels blured right now, but I'm sure the next time around this happens, I'll remember them more clearly.

T+15h

After a while, my mind feels really exhausted from all of this - the cannabis did a real clouding effect after the peak of effects. I felt a little helpless, trapped in another dimension - I just couldn't laugh at things, like I did before. I wished for some sleep, but I couldn't have any - I just lay, relaxing on the bed. I think this was more from the fact that I was awake for more than 24h, than from the effects of the entheogens.

T+18h

I am feeling generally better and safely landing. I take a shower and head outside. A few short outbursts of colours appear from time to time. After visiting a friend, we go to a cafe, generally chill and have a beer, smoke a J.

T+24h

I am home, I feel sleepy as hell and I'm reexperiencing shorts bursts of the tyke entities into my visual field. Nothing serious. I head to sleep and fall asleep at once - I was overexhausted.

After 12h of sleep, next day a general sense of saturation of the mind is present. I will probably never try mixing an ayahuasca brew with LSD, have doubts if I'll even mix it with cannabis. Plain ayahuasca feels more 'sacred', but whats more important it is much different on the body and the mind. After ayahuasca a general sense of well being follows for days afterward. Even the next day, I'm ready to go on to do whatever is to be done. This is not the issue with other psychedelics, like acid, even tho' in the long term I do get to slowly integrate the meaning of what happened.

Another thing I must report is a feeling in the stomach - like I have something to digest, but it's present all the time - never fully digested. This seems present with both S.Rue and Yage, more pronounced with Rue tho'. I feel if I purged I'd get rid of it and have a good cleansed feeling. Didn't purge tho'.

I'm surprised to see very few reports of mixed MAOI with acid - and people get this idea it's a bad thing. I've had really nice journeys mixing Rue with acid and Yage too. With Rue, the acid is the one thing that feels more prominent, while with the Yage a very different quality infuses the acid trip. For me, Rue serves more of a general 'booster' of the acid, while Yage with acid can be used for a more spiritual experience. Also, I think the characteristic 'perfect' geometric visuals of acid are substituted with more mellow, smooth edgey ones.

All in all, a very good journey - a type of journey which doesn't start with a general 'positive' feeling, but is a journey that I appreciate and wouldn't be without in the end.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 12145

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Jul 16, 2003	Views: 35,425

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LSD (2), Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Diplopterys cabrerana (157) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 1 hit
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

    I was an experienced LSD user by the time I tried some acid called 'Alice in Wonderland'. I had recently given up Christianity and thought myself to be on the way to enlightenment. I used LSD as recreation, but mostly I used it in the pursuit of spiritual truth.

My dealer came by with some acid he called 'weak'. He said he was currently tripping on six hits. He certainly seemed to be in control of himself, so I thought I might not even trip much on one hit. Thankfully, I only took one. It turns out that my dealer usually had to take 6 hits just to get to a threshold experience, because he liked to go 'way out there', frequently.

    My husband and I took a hit each, early in the evening, on an empty stomach. After the initial 45 minute wait, I already realized that this acid was different. My husband seemed to be doing fine all evening, but I was engaged in a personal struggle. I felt a cold emptiness spreading through my body. I felt that my body wasn't solid anymore, my body and the room it was in were just an illusion. There was no comfort to be had in touching objects, because everything was composed of energy, energy that existed in a void of emptiness.

     I felt a cold panic as I gazed at my husband. A thought formed in my mind of how much my husband resembled me in every way. Suddenly I realized that he was me, there was no separation. We were pretending to be individuals, but in reality there was only one presence. Then I realized that I am god and I am the only being in existence, a being who is alone and will always be alone. Though I divided myself into billions of pieces, in reality I am the only being that exists. I felt then, the most horrible void... a cold, sharp feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if a black hole was centered there and the universe was being sucked into it.

      I was so lonely, tears were pouring down my face. My husband tried to comfort me but I told him that he was an illusion, he was just a part of me and not the individual I had thought him to be. Suddenly my thoughts turned to the world at large. In my mind I saw a giant wheel, and all manner of beings were lined up on the wheel. The wheel kept turning, and the beings on the wheel experienced life and death over and over again. They kept coming back, after death, to experience the wheel again, there was no escape. This was life for all beings, a ceaseless turning of a giant wheel, with no way out.

       I wished for some way to end my misery, but I knew that even death would not save me because I am eternal and I would just be wasting a perfectly good body. At this point, when I saw no way out, I decided that I wanted the illusion back. I realized that enlightenment was the last thing I wanted! I wanted to be unaware of who I am, because I wasn't ready to be god. I wanted more than anything to be an ignorant human!

        The night passed slowly, and finally we came down. We had quite a hangover.We were dehydrated, with headaches and photosensitivity. I said I never wanted to do acid again. We walked down the street to eat at a pizza buffet so that the heavy food would help us to sleep. Of course I didn't stop doing acid. I did learn not to think about my existence too much while tripping, and if I did examine my existence then I would do it in a positive way.

Exp Year: 1997	ExpID: 26645

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Sep 7, 2003	Views: 34,730

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LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Relationships (44), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

'you know you talk so hip man

you're twistin' my melon man...'

Happy Mondays

It was a freezing cold Friday night in November. Me, The Wedge, and Captain T-Bag had just moved into the Kappa Cappuccino house. It had been decided that in order to baptize the house and consecrate our friendship, we would need to have an acid trip. No big party, no women. Just the 3 of us and our one-hundred year old home.

The thing was, i wasn't really that into it. We were having our house warming party the following day, and R was getting some ecstasy from this legendary batch that was coming out of Texas (of all places). I had dropped acid before, but the following night was to be my first night on 'E'. I always kept my drug use under control; while i smoked pot nightly during that time in my life, anything 'harder' was a treated as a special occasion. Ritualistic, almost. I was a little tentative about the fact that i would be rolling for 2 nights in a row...

Our guy showed up with our treats. It wasn't M., this cute little thing working her way through college, who was our usual source... just some random cat that we allowed to waltz in off the street and sell us highly illegal substances. Could be spiked with Liquid Plumber, or the guy could be a cop, but Hey! how much money would you like for those illicit drugs?

(i digress. It's just that recalling the way i ran my life is a trip in and of itself)

Anyway, he told us that he had just done the stuff the night before, and it was 'Really Visual'. That got me. I had done acid a couple of times before, and while i had had a great time, and had some nice communion with the right side of my brain, it wasn't the melting walls, Bruce Lee movie trails that everyone had led me to expect.

So we dropped. And then there is that time that you wait, spending time waiting for the time that time will mean nothing.

'Dude, do you feel anything?'

'No.'

'How 'bout now?'

'Nope.'

'Dude, i'm totally starting to feel it...'

'Dude, shut up. Too soon.'

I was sitting on a recliner chair... waiting. Wedge and the Captain were popping chewable vitamin c like candy. I was anorexic, at the time. As we were having a big party the following night, one that members of the opposite sex would be present for, i was doing my standard 'No Food For 24 hours' thing. They were hovering around me, waiting, looking suspicious. Finally, they charged me. The bastards held me down, my arms to my sides and shoved the tablets into my mouth. In all my experience with acid, this is the one time that i ever remember the exact second that the trip began. As my teeth sunk into the dry, chalky tablet, i felt the sensation that  someone had detonated a highly unstable naval orange inside my mouth...

And so it began. The thing is, we had the most incredible house for drugs. It was the upper level of this old victorian, The upstairs and then the attic, which was our living room. The room was decorated with this ultra-loungy, deco style funiture that The Wedge's dead uncle had purchased using mass amounts of Camel Cash in the 1950's. The ceiling was all sharp angles, the inverse of the sloped roof outside, and it was covered with dozens of glow in the dark stars.

I decided that i wanted to see what what the downstairs was like on acid. The Wedge and The Captain's bedrooms were side by side, and they had both left music on. From the Captain's, there was house music (Boom-chee, Boom-che, Boom-che...) and from The Wedge's was something or other New Order, with that trademark base line (Dun dun dun dun dun dun, DUN DUN DUN...) I stood between the two rooms, swaying ever so slightly, back and forth, back and forth, trying to find that Omega Point, that calm in the exact center of the storm where i could hear both strains of music clearly... but just as one burrowed against my chest, the other would fade into nothingness. I must have stood there for like, 30 minutes, trying.

I freaked out, downstairs, all by myself. I decided to go see what the guys were up to in the attic. When i got there, most of the lights were off, save for the lone black light bulb that the glow in the dark stars were sucking all their juice from. So they were shining brilliantly, but not generating any real illumination on the room below. And the furniture...

They had rearranged the entire room. Now, maybe it doesn't READ like that's a big deal, but really think about the last time that you came home and your significant other had rearranged the furniture, that vague feeling of spatial disorientation that you walk through over the next day or so. Then imagine that feeling on acid, with a minty green glow hovering in the pitch blackness above your head.

'Nice.' (Subtle, understated, the monosyllabic word was the Kappa Cappuccino seal of approval. But i guess everybody says it now.)

No response. The room appeared empty... did they leave while i was messing with my audio? Could they really have slipped out without me noticing?

Suddenly, they jumped out from behind the furniture and tackled me to the ground. We laughed for a moment, hilariously. Then i said, like a three year old 'Do it Again! Do it again!'

So, i ran back downstairs and paced around for a good long while, anticipating. Finally, they called me back. When i got upstairs i felt completely and uterly betrayed. The one thing i swore i would never do on acid was sit and watch a movie. And that is precisely what they were doing... they had put all of the furniture back in order, and were sitting, calmly watching 'An American Tail 2: Fivel Goes West' which The Wedge had gotten from a promotion that McDonalds was doing.

'Dude, no! I am not going to waste this totally amazing, mind altering experience on some stupid movie. I want a vision quest... I want to trip the light fantastic... i want...'

There, before me, being played out right before my very eyes was the universe tale of tragedy... the plight of this family of mice, just trying to make a home for themselves in the New World. They were on some sort of raft, racing on this violent current of water through this endless, labyrithine series of pipes...

20 minutes later, Captian T-Bag told me to sit my ass on the couch, 'cause i was in his way.

I curled up like a child on the couch as this brilliant epic of mythic proportions built to a crescendo. John Clese was a cat who was trying to lure all the mice into the west so he and his evil companions could have something to eat. Dom DeLuise was this cat with some sort of glandular problem that risked his standing in the feline community by supporting the Rodent cause. And the late Jimmy Stuart was a dog who taught young Fivel how to believe in himself.

There's this one part, with Fivel's sister (I don't remember her name, but she has always dreamed of being a singer) and they're trapped in this Old West style saloon. All these drunken ruffian cats are holding Fivel and Dom Deluise cat and Jimmy Stuart dog hostage, and things look like they're going to get really violent, and how will are heroes escape...?

And Fivel's sister SCREAMS!

And the room freezes, everyone stares at her... but she holds the scream...

and a beer bottle shatters into a million peices... but still she holds the pitch perfect scream...

and then she breaks it down into this totally amazing, absolutely incredible hoe-down style song...

'WHO'S THE GIRL YOU LEFT BEHIND?

SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING

WHO'S THE GIRL YOU LEFT BEHIND?

SOMETHING, SOMETHING...

SOME-THING!'

Oh, i don't remember all the words, but seriously, it was incredible. My heart was racing. It was like somebody gently, painlessly carved this huge hole and my chest and was fucking it desperately.

There was a big showdown at High Noon between Fivel, Dom Deluise cat, Jimmy Stuart dog, and John Clese cat, and a tearful reunion with Fivel's family, and then...

...out on the horizon, while the hero rode off into the sunset, there was this tiny, non-descript little speck floating in the sky, i strained my eyes to see what it was then SNAP! It ripped into the foreground -- nearly out of the screen altogether  -- the enormous, finalizing words

'THE END!'

(This

is

Where

i

Peaked...)

I was in the throws of the deepest, most profound extacy i had ever ever experienced. I wanted to rip off my clothes... my shirt, my jeans, my very skin, and run through the street, singing all the words of 'Who's the Girl You Left Behind' that i could remember at the top of my lungs. I lept from the couch and started running circles around the room -- Then i ran down stairs to the main hallway. I shot back and forth from one end to the other, over and over and over again. When i got to either end, i didn't slow down, i just let myself crash full force into the wall. Then i would compose myself, turn and face the other side of the house, and repeat. All this felt completely, blissfully rational to me, as if there was no other reaction one possibly could have to a work of such life affirming, celluloid brilliance.

The Wedge and the Captain obviously did not agree, and were probably more than a little freaked out that i just might never come back from that distant edge that i was now out upon. As i made one last senseless sprint down the hall, The Wedge stepped into my path...

The Wedge is not a small man. His Nome de Plume comes from the fact that he has a HUGE member, shaped like one of those wooden things you use to keep a door open. His entire body is like that... Monolithic, imposing... crashing into The Wedge was more jarring to my system than than all my times running into the wall combined. I slammed up against The Wedge, and the sensation was that of collapsing... folding... melting. I was like an egg smashed up against a house, while the force of gravity pulled my gellatinous mass back down to the ground.

The Captian navigated me back up into the attic while The Wedge brewed up a giant pot of coffee. It's a well known fact among my friends that coffee actually smooths my hyperactive nervous system... I guzzled it down like it was Kool Aid... cup after cup. I remember my nerves telegraphing 'HOT' to my into my brain, but the very concept got lost among the neurons... 'what is 'hot' anyway? Just a word, an abstraction.'

At about this time, the caffine must have sunk in for The Captain... he lit 3 cigarettes in his mouth at once. He put one into my mouth as i sat like a puddle on our sectional couch. He took the others, one in each hand, stood on the armrest at the other side of the couch and danced, swinging his arms around in these wide arcs. The red-hot cherries at the end of the cigarates traced glowing lines in mid air. I remember thinking to myself, 'This acid IS Really Visual'...

It was like 'Laser Floyd' at the Planetarium, but with better music...

The Captain sang along to the Madchester, acid house stylings of Primal Scream, 'Come Trip Inside This House'

(I didn't know until I bought the album, just last year, that the title was 'Come SLIP Inside This House')

The Captain finally plopped down alongside me as i stared up at the sloped ceiling, as the glow in the dark stars waxed and waned, shimmering, back and forth like a reflection of the full moon on gently rolling waters. I stared at it for the longest time, waiting for the effect to stop, waiting for the drugs to wear off, but it just continued, on and on and on. I broke into soft laughter. This was REAL. I thought to myself that if i could look at the Captain, and NOT tell him what i was seeing, but could somehow get out of him that he was seeing the same thing as me... then that would mean that this wasn't some mere illusion, this would mean that we had actually moved into some quantum, alternate reality where matter periodically shifted into a liquid state.

'Dude, you see it, don't you? YOU SEE IT...'

He flashed me that wide grin that moistened so many women's panties. He raised his hand into the air. My eyes followed his pointer finger as he indicated the opposite side of the couch...

Exhausted from the amazing vibe in the room, The Couch drew a deep, sharp breath, then sank back down with an orgasmic sigh...

The Captain and I splashed back against the sofa where we sitting, and continued to watch the stars.

That, more or less was the pinnacle of the evening.

Sure, i could go on... about how i found The Wedge downstairs an hour later, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, clipping his toenails on the patio in 10 degree weather...

...or about how i discovered how well plungers stick to my bald head, and that while i was balancing a plunger from a single fingertip, i was able to keep it from falling,  was able to control the very inner workings of destiny just by saying the word 'IS'... 'IS, IS, IS, IS, IS, IS, IS, IS' Until it ceased to be a word, and became an incantation.

...or i could tell you all about the following night, on E, when i walked into my pitch black room to go to bed, and i heard breathing from some stranger on the ches lounge chair across from me, and i asked, coyly, 'are you a boy or a girl?'... 'Girl' ... and she welcomed me to climb onto her and have the most wonderful 30 minute relationship with her mouth...

(okay, i just did tell you that. ANY excuse to tell that story...)

I could tell you about how so many other moments of my life since that night are seen through the perspective that i gained -- evolved that night...

All because of this one moment, when i sat, coming down, ever so gently while The Stone Roses 'Second Coming' album played in the background

'Are we etched in stone, or just

scratched in the sand...

Waiting for the waves to come

and retake the land...'

And right then i knew. I knew that EVERYTHING is an illusion. Fleeting, temporary... i knew that existentialism is the most beautiful philosophy in the history of the world, because it’s the only philosophy that captures how brief and fragile we are, and thusly expresses how truly unique our existence is. I understood in that instant that “The Afterlife” is an oxymoron, fool’s gold – the Universe is an eternity’s worth of Now, that never-ending “IS”. I saw that our individual lives are an interpretive dance, expressing from our subjective perspective what G-d, the Universe and Everything is all about. I felt that the only way to truly have lived for that instant is to get up on stage and feel the music...

So that’s it. And here I am now, 9 years later.

Still dancing.

Exp Year: 1994	ExpID: 24938

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 2, 2003	Views: 23,475

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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)


		 DOSE:

		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   100 lb

When time is measured by a rapidly accelerating heartbeat, seconds start racing so fast they become a blur and it's so easy to reach out your eyes and touch it and it sounds so brass like somebody smashed their face against a cymbal, then suddenly you're a song. It's a pink song with faded green edges. You can press your hands against your belly until your stomach sucks them in and you can feel that pink song, soft and slimy like a fetus inside of you. You pull it out with a gasp that echoes in your nostrils and it pulses in your palm like the heartbeat in your thumb. There's nothing to do except swallow this song and listen to the way the pink feels, cottony and vibrating down your throat, through your spinal chord, chilling your back to your toes and resting somewhere in the vicinity of your liver, where it throbs to the tempo of time and your heart.  Every trip is one moment, perpetual and unified by three smiling faces, wavering in the rainbow-tracer air.  (Every moment is a trip.)  All the shadows become livid and pounce into patches of watery space that taste like laughter, echoing ceaslessly for five timeless hours.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 27292

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Oct 3, 2003	Views: 34,929

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LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), Poetry (43), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)