		 DOSE:

		 2 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

I was an average girl (whats average mean anyways?) 19 years old, a sophomore in college at an established university in the states, studying business, working as an intern and I was home for the summer. It was a great summer I might add. My parents were making their way to burning man and were going to be gone for a whole week, leaving me in charge of the house, a big beautiful house with a huge secluded landscaped back yard covered in trees, flowers bushes and a pool! Not you're average pool, it had a diving board!

The summer up to this point had been pretty nonchalant, I had been hanging out with friends, mostly my friend B, we had become best friends in the instant we met earlier that year (that might have been because of the fact the night I met him, I was on ecstasy for the very first time in my life). Just so I can set everything straight, I never did drugs in high school till my senior year when I smoked some weed and did mushrooms twice, that is until I met B my sophomore year of college and he introduced me to E. I absolutely loved it and I have done it quite a few times since.

So the first night alone in the house I had a few people over for a pool party, it couldn't have gone better, must people were drinking but me and B and another friend did some E. It was a great time. The next morning, unusually, I felt GREAT! I was laying in the pool with B and we were listening to Jack Johnson and the weather couldn't have been better. Out of the blue he says, 'Lets go get some acid!' and I replied with a 'Hell ya!' So we waited till my boyfriend, C, got off work, we jumped in the car, drove for 20 min. to get the acid. I had never really thought about acid, whether I would do it, or anything remotely. So this was so exciting! I was a little apprehensive because the two times I had done mushrooms in high school I wasn't a huge fan, they always seemed to have a dark side and really sharp dark angles (know what I mean?).

ANYWAYS so this whole acid thing was new to me and I was nervous/thrilled/anxious all at the same time. We got the tiny pieces of paper, 6 in all, 2 for each of us and jumped back in the car to ride back to the house, before we started driving, we all put the paper in our mouths and I just thought to myself, this is it!

[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

As we were driving home, B called his friend who had done the same acid the day before to ask her what she thought. Come to find out (B told me this a year later) the girl said it was the strongest acid she had ever had and that we should not take more than 1/2 - 1 blotter, we had taken 2! I'm grateful that B didn't tell us that, who knows where our trip would have gone starting off with that mindset! So here we are, pulling into my drive way, running inside like little kids and we decided to through everything we could find that was waterproof into the pool! (pool toys, snorkeling gear, plastic tubs, outdoor umbrellas, bubble wrap, you name it) We put some relaxing jack Johnson on the outdoor stereo and swam around with flippers and goggles! Up until this point I hadn't noticed anything different and wasn't sure what changes to look for then all the sudden couldn't feel the water any longer

all the sudden couldn't feel the water any longer

, I couldn't tell when my body was in or when it was out, or the temperature of it either! It freaked me out a little and I thought to myself, could I drown?!?! Then B yelled, 'Look at the trees! They are dancing to the music!' Sure enough, as I ripped off my goggles and looked toward the blue sky, the trees, the flowers, bushes were all swaying to the music as if they were dancing and enjoying our company!!! It was so beautiful! I kept staring at them all in amazement, I felt they each and every part of the nature in the backyard were smiling and dancing with us! I could have stared at the trees all day long in that state without getting bored for a moment!!

Me, B, and my boyfriend C were now in a circle in the shallow end all with floaty toys laughing swimming around, I felt as if I was one with everything, I could not tell the difference between the water, myself, the trees, the music, C, B, the toys, the feelings we all had... it was amazing! There were no barriers! I thought to myself, holy shit I'm tripping on acid! Without warning you go from the reality you live in everyday to a whole new reality that you never knew existed, all in the blink of an eye!

Not knowing what time it was, we decided to get out of the pool and go inside to see. Getting out of the pool was beyond strange. Being in the pool sober and then transitioning into a full blown acid trip then trying to get out of the pool and walk....are you crazy?!? As we climbed out of the pool B runs and jumps off the diving board out of nowhere, then C follows and does the same thing! I was thinking hold shit I'm going to drown! Then I thought, what the hell and ran and jumped off the driving board too! As I came up to the surface, I remember seeing the water splash and waves came over me and it was the strangest thing I had ever seen/witnessed, I didn't feel a thing, nor did I know where my body ended and where the water began. I climbed out of the pool and followed the boys inside. That's when things got really strange. I walked into my house, but it wasn't my house! Nothing looked right, i felt like I was in some strange house and I could explore every corner, it was so exciting and I couldn't wait to get started! The strange thing about acid I realized, was that, everyone is having their very own trip, and you don't have just one trip on LSD, there's thousands!!! We all pretty much went our separate ways at this point, exploring the rooms in the house, different objects, It was quite entertaining.

About half way through I ran downstairs and on a piece of paper wrote: 'What is life all about?' I put it right smack in the middle of the kitchen with a pen, hoping C and B would somehow come across it in there journey and write something down! To my surprise, B and C both found it and I read what they wrote an hour or so later, what they wrote was breathtaking, real, honest, realizations that could only come from the magnificent power of acid. There were so many things I wanted to experience, I decided to take a shower and little did I know, this shower would become an epiphany of a lifetime. I got in the shower and I felt as though someone was talking to me, a voice echoing in my head, someone unfamiliar but I realized that that someone was me, but not only was the someone me, that someone was everyone I knew, that someone was all the material things I had, all the living things on this earth and then I realized that this voice was 'god' and this 'thing'/'me' knew all the secrets of the universe! Suddenly I knew all the answers to so many questions! I kept going farther and farther and deeper and deeper trying to reach that 'one answer' the answer to ALL questions... but I couldn't... quite reach it... But I was ok with that, I knew so much already! Everything in life made perfect sense for that one moment, the most blissful feeling. And then I realized that its not you against me, we are all the same thing! We are ALL god! It was the most perfect moment in my life. And as soon as it came, it was gone!

It was the most perfect moment in my life. And as soon as it came, it was gone!

I got out of the shower and I ran down the hall looking for B or C and finally ran into C and gave him a big hug, wanting to tell him what I had just experienced but one look at his face and I knew I didn't have to explain anything! The rest of the night was fantastic, I stood in front of the mirror naked, for what seemed like days, examining my body, trying to understand how I could criticize something so beautiful? I wanted to scream on the top of the roof to everyone that would listen that life is so wonderful and why would anyone waste a moment by being sad or angry or frustrated or any negative emotion when we have so much to be happy about! When we can make our own destiny and we decide what our futures hold! I had such inner peace that night and I cannot to get back to that mind set! I absolutely love LSD and I understand that not all acid trips go like this, actually 3 years after this trip I decided to do acid again with some new roommates and the trip went anything but good. We actually managed to get lost in the forest at night and had to walk 6 miles home.. but that's a whole other story. I refuse to let that experience override this trip, because I honestly still believe that if everyone had the change to open their minds, discover what we are all capable of in this life, understand whats important, we would all be a lot happier. One of these days I want to experience acid the way I experienced it in 2005. What an amazing experience.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 76269

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Mar 23, 2016	Views: 2,254

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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 450 mg
		 oral
		 DXM
		 (liquid)

		   T+ 1:30
		 150 ug
		 oral
		 LSD

		   T+ 1:30
		 40 mg
		 oral
		 Pharms - Propranolol
		 (pill / tablet)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

I am 37 years old male. I have tripped on DXM over 20 times in past 20 years and in last few years psychedelics about same amount of occasions. I have combined DXM and 2C-C once and milder dissociative MXP with mushrooms and acid two times both. Dissociatives seem to boost psychedelic trips in me enormously. I'd say about 5 times any given dosage. I was quite concerned about this trip because I knew this would be a hell of a trip and it could last for 12 hours or so. In subjective time span that would seem like a week.

I have suffered from recurrent depression since I was in fifth grade. In last few years I have been in individual and group therapy and took antidepressants for two years. I almost committed suicide while taking Cipralex (escitalopram) and divorced my wife while taking Effexor (venlafaxine). Things that I probably wouldn't have done without these mind interfering drugs. The divorce it seems now was at the end a great thing, but almost killing oneself is one hell of a side effect. I stopped using the drugs for about a year ago. They are very addictive too. I had very severe withdrawal symptoms although I dropped the dosage very very slowly.

During the past year I have introduced myself to the wisdom of ancient American cultures. Namely 'Toltec' wisdom, which doesn't refer to the actual nationality of Toltecs. 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Toltec Wisdom' is the most revealing selfhealing book I have ever read, and I have read many. So I had decided to become a warrior - in a Toltec non violent way. In recent months I have also read Carl Jung. It was mindblowing. What he mostly discusses is dreamworld but his theories of subconscious applies very well to psychedelic experience.

I had done this active imagination thing that Jung describes for some time. It consist of talking to the character's of your subconscious like they would be real persons - and for your mind they are as real as you and me. A few days prior to the trip I realised that nobody has ever listened to the 'Rage' entity of my mind. My temper and especially efforts to control Rage has been the most significant thing to cause me depression in the long run. So I started to ask Rage 'How are you doing?'. And it was astonished (in my imagination). 'What? No one has ever asked me that.' I knew how I really could meet Rage face to face. To remind me I wrote myself a note in big red letters:'MEET RAGE'. I thought I would meet something like a flaming demon. But it was something completely different.

I had done the separation process of DXM from the cough syrup the day before. I drank the liquid which didn't taste as awful as I remembered.

After half an hour it started to take effect and the usual nausea came in. It seemed worse than ever. I had to throw up three times - but at that point the DXM had completely absorbed as I had calculated. When the nausea gave up a little after one hour or so, I put the acid blotter in my mouth and took Propral 40mg described for panic attacks to lower heart rate. My heart always tends to go for over 100 beat per minute in the come up of psychedelics, which results in thoughts like 'I'm gonna die'.

The acid took effect faster than ever. After half an hour I was tripping out as hell. The thing with DXM and acid combo is that DXM causes closed eye visions and acid enhances them. I put Synaesthesia's Desideratum album on and closed my eyes on a mattress. I used also a scarf as a blindfold since it was daytime.

It is said that normal consciousness uses about 10 percent of the total brain capacity. New brain scans show that on acid all the brain is activated. So when that happens you jump from 10 percent CPU usage to 100 percent. Your mind seems to process soooooooo fast. I don't remember much of the things travelled past in the subsconscious cosmos of my mind but I know I came back with the most important pieces.

The closed eye visions were very solid. Much more touchable and lifelike than usual psychedelic visions. At first everything was spinning in fractal like spirals in unbelievable speed. But then there evolved some more solid things.

It was not a sphere but two combined together. Like two cells - or atoms. There was something spinning around it in small circles of light, with the speed of light. It was like covered with small glowing yellow circles and further away there was bigger more mercurial globe around. It reminded me of womb. I said to myself: 'Ok. Now I can say, I have been to the beginning.' Yet I knew it was not a real 'beginning' but it has always been and always will be. I don't know if it was the 'beginning' of the universe, was I there as a two cell organism in my mother's womb OR as it seems most likely from the shape of the thing: was I a hydrogen molecule. What makes me believe this was a real memory is the very realistic manner of this trip and I have remembered many forgotten things in past dissociative trips.

I have before come to a solution that if consciousness is about to evolve in the universe, there has to be some kind of consciousness in the particle level of things too. In quantum mechanics it has been shown that even the smallest particles can 'communicate' or 'learn' from each others spin. And it is communicable without restrictions of distance. So everything would be interconnected somehow.

But anyways, if I was conscious already when I was a two cell organism, it has wide ethical implications. Abortion would really be a murder. And veganism would be as ethical as meat eating.

After that scene there was just me. And as me I mean the Consciousness in empty space. I was wondering 'what the hell is ego loss, if I have come this far I would certainly have had that happen if it was about to happen'. Maybe I just have very small ego anyways, because I realise in everyday consciousness too that I am not my body or mind - that I am just the consciousness observing. Consciousness knew it has always existed, and always will. And in this exact form. It would never merge with other, but always be part of the other, yet always individual observer.

This reminds me of the new physicists theory that space is not unlimited but time is. So the universe has always existed. There was not big bang. For me it's just an old theory like flat earth was centuries ago. Universe seems to be always expanding because it swirls inside itself like I have seen in another acid trip. That would explain much better the thing that universe seems to expand to all directions no matter which point it is observed. In big bang theory there should be a point where everything expands from. That broken theory has just been fixed with duct tape solution of 'the bang happened at the same time everywhere' which is like saying that 2 + 1 equals 4 because another 1 was hiding behind the 1 we saw.

Anyways after that I had a religious experience. I had the halo exactly like Jesus and other religious figures have in paintings. It was like pure electricity. And at some point I might have had some kind of out of body experience. My consciousness seemed to get out of the body for a moment but only a few inches after it returned. I probably didn't give in enough for that to happen in full scale. I love my body too much to leave it alone.

After a while I returned to the time when I was born. I swirled through my life like a supercomputer searching for information that it was supposed to find.

After a while I returned to the time when I was born. I swirled through my life like a supercomputer searching for information that it was supposed to find.

 And then I found it. I was probably about 4 years old or may be younger. There was a situation. A feeling. I had given it my own name, because there wasn't any discussion about feelings in my family. So I couldn't know the common name of the feeling. I had called the feeling 'puukka'. I had remembered that word in another trip but back then it meant something like sadness. This time it meant complete frustration and rage. So it seems to have been a general concept for unbearable feelings for me.

The scene was very very realistic. It was like very real and vivid memory. I was standing outside. I was in the edge of forest. My father was in front of me. My brother was a bit further away by my side. My father was yelling at me 'You can't hit your brother!' like a thunder. My ears were hurting. I was feeling enraged and very frustrated. 'I am very very pissed off and I am not allowed to do anything?' I though. I looked my brother and he was in a posture of shame: head down, shoulders in down-forward position. So I decided back then that I should be ashamed of this feeling. Be ashamed of something that is part of me.

At first I was going to pass this memory, because it was so hurtful. But now me, the Consciousness (or God) said:'No, this is it. This was never dealt with.' And I returned to the scene. As I am God, one piece of God, and the Almighty in my subconscious reality, I could of course change it. So I started the scene over and reenacted it. This time I was the little boy and also the father at the same time. And as father I said 'You are not allowed to hit your brother' in very firm but calm voice but then I added that 'but you can shout out as loud as you can.' There is no way to describe the relief of the little boy. 'I can???!!!' His head rose up like a spring and his posture went immediately straight. As I later looked in the mirror, I realised that my posture had changed in the same way. Like my chest had opened up. I wasn't a little ashamed boy anymore. I had grown to be a Man. Adult. I had had my initiation.

I don't know if this could have happened before. I think it was only now when all the pieces of the puzzle came together. I have now son the same age that the disturbing events happened. He has the same temper as I do. I probably couldn't relate before to the role of a father of a fire child before and forgive my real father.

It has been only two days since the trip and the DXM afterglow is still on. But I know this change will last. It will change everything. My relationships to other people and especially me. I know now that there is nothing wrong with me. There never was. I am just made of fire!

After stopping for a moment to that clear and vivid scene the subconscious cosmos started to swirl all over again in lightspeed. At some point I checked the time and only two hours had passed since I took the acid when it seemed like 20 to me. 'Oh God, this will still go on for hours.' I couldn't measure my pulse, since my time span was very different from normal so I used a blood pressure meter. The blood pressure was just a little above normal and pulse normal, so I decided I am not going to die. But still I would have taken neuroleptics if I had any to stop the trip. It felt so unbearable. Luckily I didn't have any and I realised I could slow things a little bit by keeping my eyes open.

When the trip was coming down there was a drawing pattern sliding in the ceiling. They were amazingly similar to art of Native Americans. And they were really solid. Like real objects. I had a color changing LED spot and all the shadows and light angles were as perfect as real. This kind of solidity of visions I really can't get with only acid. And when I was trying to go to sleep there were these very realistic closed eye scenes. One was some kind of a record shop. First there were lots of people but then they went away one by one. Then there was left just the record shell. It stayed there moveless for ages. It became really annoying. Even in last evening the day after the trip I saw very realistic woman next to me in bed when I closed my eyes. Of course I had sex with her and it was very lifelike even though I didn't even have an erection in reality. This combination of drugs was very cool in every way.

The strangest thing of the trip was yet to come. The day after the trip I went on the scale. And I couldn't believe my eyes. I had lost 6 kilos (13 pounds) in the last 24 hours. Also the fat percentage showed to be down 4 percent. So it was not all fluids. I didn't think that would be possible. Without any exercise and I did eat in the evening of the trip day, too. I thought I had invented some kind of a metaphysical way to lose weight. But today when I went to the scale again, the 6 kilos were back. It's a digital scale, so it could have malfunctioned. But it has never malfunctioned before. So could I have still been partly levitating after the trip? They say Jesus levitated up to the heavens. May be when you are really high, you really are high.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108706

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 37

Published: Jun 22, 2016	Views: 4,746

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DXM (22), LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Combinations (3), Alone (16)


		 DOSE:

		 2 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 1 hit

		 LSD

		 2 tablets
		 oral
		 MDMA

		 1 hit

		 LSD

		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis - Hash

		   repeated

		 Coffee

Back in the late 80's and early 90's I was into the Raving scene which gripped the UK. Me and my girlfriends were training as nurses, while living it up at the weekend as hard as we could. We smoked hash, took pills (usually being sold as MDMA) but we didn't know otherwise. When we couldn't find pills, we would score a gram of speed and drop a trip or two. I enjoyed dancing and socialising on amphetamines, but they always struck me a plain or one dimensional compared to my favorites MDMA and acid.

The rave scene was less cliquey then. You could go along and meet all kinds of folk and the music was less genre specific. I remember one new years eve at Kaos in Leeds where DJ Sasha would be mixing an acapella of Whitney Houston over Leftfield's Not Forgotton. There was a kind of hippyish element those days, and a spark of youthful rebellion. The scene connected disparate groups from society, from football casuals to tree huggers and anarchists.

As the scene entered into the media coverage of the day, the powers that be decided to enact laws (The Criminal Justice Act) outlawing unorganised gatherings of people where music 'Wholly or partly characterised by repetitive beats' was played. This added a certain frisson to the events I attended on occasion at disused warehouses or airfields etc. We loved it. The legal situation seemed to help build a broad coalition of alternative type people. Before mobile phones were common, these events were organised fairly haphazardly. The first you would know was perhaps someone handing you a flyer as you left a club. Then we'd jump in the car and seek out these obscure locations.

One Saturday night/Sunday in 1991 me and my friends had left either Kaos or Soak in Leeds and were looking for our next options. We had all swallowed 2 pills and a trip over the course of the evening. Driving down to Coventry that night though for a rumoured warehouse party which might or might not take place was not tempting.  Some sleazy guys were trying to get us to come to their party, but it was all blokes, and they just looked wretched having spent their evening gurning next to a bass bin.

[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

C. suggested we go to the Motorway services for coffees. We all had a couple more pills and an extra trip each in our pockets. We wanted to go somewhere,  be part of something else before going back to our digs.

We pulled into the 24 hour services and I persuade E to get the coffees. She was always very adept at appearing calm and rational despite whatever drugs she had consumed. She was a petite blonde and still pretty well presented considering we had been jumping about for the previous seven hours. Anyway, sitting by a window overlooking the motorway, we hatched a plan. We watched the traffic pass through the night below us, while discussing the night's best moments. C had looked like she'd pulled with a beautiful early 20s latino looking guy. He was a cool dancer and kept warping into these body popping moves around her. I said to myself at one point,'He's Plastikman.' and I ended up connecting the Armand Van Helden track 'Witchdoctor' with him. It seemed he had his eyes on C, but he was considerate and danced with all of us. I remember thinking - 'I bet he's gay or something'. I was right, because another nice looking guy a little older came over and his face lit in that way that tells you when someone is really pleased. I looked at C but she didn't seem that bothered. We all danced as a group and had a great time. Both the guys and their friends could really dance. They looked as though they were enjoying some kind of chemical inebriations for sure.

In those days, you could actually smoke inside the designated area of the services. We decided to retire for cigarettes there with our coffees. Imagine our surprise at seeing the two gay guys in there already, halfway through their cigarettes, It was nice to see them, after the fun we'd had earlier. They said they had some more pills at home and were going to go back, listen to music and get stoned, and invited us along. E and me wanted to go somewhere where we might meet a nice straight guy (All three of us were single then), but C was keen to join them, despite knowing they were an item.  Seeing that it was her car and she was driving, we crumbled. We followed them out and got in C's car. I noticed that they had both jumped into a Range Rover, which we were to follow.

The drive through the early morning dark was fun. We all decided to wash down another pill and a trip with some cheap flat cola that had been sitting in C's car for a long time. She told me that she had bought it as a cheap substitute for toilet cleaner one time, but just kept forgetting to take it out of the car to her bathroom. We had been liste ning to Rave music all night, but now C had put a cassette of Can 'Tago Mago' on. I love that album. Groovey but yet weird at the same time. One track has the German vocals going backwards over it's relentless but chilling groove.

We followed the tail lights of the big 4X4 for what seemed like an eternity to our frazzled minds. I noticed us heading north, towards Skipton. Just after Skipton they abruptly turned off after rounding a corner, and we went past the turn. C stopped when we realised their tail lights were no longer in front. We turned an came across the track they'd taken. It was a little rough, so I could see how their Range Rover was just the job. We still couldn't see their lights though, and began thinking that we should have carried on straight ahead instead. C and E were beginning to think we'd lost them, and perhaps ourselves. I was sure this was the way they'd come. We bickered a little about it and our decision-making apparatus was not in the finest condition, owing to the drugs which were beginning to make themselves felt again. My trippy mind was obsessing about plastic and its manifold virtues, examining the finish of the interior of C's sweet little Austin Mini (which she called 'Boo').

Anyway we trundled further along until I noticed headlamps behind us this time, and gaining fast. C got a bit paranoid and started accelerating herself. The little mini was shaking and juderring in ways which I am sure it was never meant to. The other car was gaining on us though, as C sped rally style through the night. The track was surrounded by woodland but the night sky was clear above us, and lit by the kind of starlight you only get away from the big city. We were also worried that this might be a cop behind us so we swallowed our 4th and final pills for the evening, just in case. It wasn't going to make much difference though, seeing that I had a half oz of squidgy redseal in my knapsack in C's boot (trunk if you are US). I was thinking 'maybe we should stop' just as C declared the same. 'I don't care, we've done nothing wrong. We've got no drugs on us now have we? Lets just stop and let them past.' I chickened out of mentioning my hash (which C and E had been enjoying over the evening though they appeared to have forgotten about it.)

After another couple of bends we saw a farmhouse up to the left of the track so we decided to pull in there, get our bearings and see whether we were going to get any bother from our 'pursuers'. As the vehicle drew up, we realised with an odd kind of relief that it was the two gay guys. They stopped and got out, walking over to us in the Mini, so I wound down the window. 'This is our place, well should I say D's place, but we share it. You gonna come in with us?'

It was nice to step out into the cool fresh night air. My senses were finely tuned to the particular conditions of the place and atmosphere. I heard the rustle of nocturnal animals and the gentle wind against the big old deciduous trees around the house. The area was enclosed by dark pine forrest and I could smell that lovely woody smell. It seemed odd to have a farmhouse in the middle of a wood. 'Where do you keep your live-stock then D' I asked. We just have a pussycat called Gigi for catching the mice and a black Labrador named Bruce for companionship here. The woods are Forestry Comission, no ones farmed here for forty years.' I noticed a barn type shack adjoining the house. 'Come in, come in said the younger latino guy J. Inside the hall and with the lights turned on, I realised how fucked up I was. The wood grain in the floor was tangibly rippling and suggesting all sorts of fantastic images that one would not usually associate with floorboards. They led us through to their lounge area where bean bags appeared to be the main form of furniture. 'Would you like drinks?' asked J and we all opted for coffees again. D came through and said, you all look like you could do with freshening up. Our bathrooms upstairs if you want. Help yourself.' I kicked of my trainers as did  C and E, C said that my feet were smelling bad.

'Could I maybe have a quick shower?' I asked. 'By all means'.

The bathroom was an elaborate affair with mirror tiles on one wall, and a kind of seat/ledge under the shower. I stripped and jumped under the powerful hot shower. C came into the bathroom along with E and I said 'don't be shy girls - this shower is quite possibly the most benevolent thing in the cosmos right now.' I have a tendency to overegg things when tripping out. They stripped and joined me. We are not lesbians, but the three of us are close friends and we occasionally had been known to fool around together for fun. Sometimes we'd pretend to be lesbians to put off unwanted male attention or just for shock value. But we were all, in the long run, looking for our Mr Rights.

 We huddled together under powerful hot jet as it washed the aches and stains of a night's Raving from our tired bodies. Personally, I was starting to feel even higher and higher. We had all consumed 2 pills and a trip between 9pm and 3am, but now at 5am, we were being hit all at once with another two pills and a trip.

 We had all consumed 2 pills and a trip between 9pm and 3am, but now at 5am, we were being hit all at once with another two pills and a trip.

 We cuddled a bit together seeking some stability amidst the psychedelic onslaught. After our group hug, we soaped each other down and massaged each others shoulders neck and back. The wonderful heightened sensuality of MDMA intoxication enhanced the pure joy of our communion. I stepped out first and dried myself while the other two lingered a little under the shower. There was some giggling and smooching going on there though. I put my head back around the curtain to find E sat on the shower ledge with C knelt between her thighs. One of E's legs rested delicately on E's shoulder. E looked round at me and giggled. 'Come join us St, you know you want to?' And truth be told, I did. The other thing about MDMA is it's potent aphrodisiacal properties. To be honest though, I could not see how I could fit into their current situation. There wasn't really that much room. So I contented myself with rubbing, kissing and nibbling on C's foot as it was the nearest and most available piece of anatomy. I don't know how long we fooled around for because I was on Acid Time, but I did start to remember that we were guests, and had hosts who were kindly entertaining us.

After the bathroom and freshened up, we went back downstairs. In the lounge, J and D were cuddling on a long low sofa. A warm gas fire lit the hearth and room, along with dimmed lights. I recognized the Orb playing on the CD. We pulled together some beanbags and draped ourselves out decadently upon them. The bright fireplace was magically absorbing to watch. We all made small talk with our hosts. Which Raves we liked, silly escapades, favorite DJ's etc. Then of course - relationships. J said he was in a committed relationship with D, but they were kind of open, since he confessed he was bisexual rather than gay. I saw C's eyes glint when he said this. At that moment, D pulled out a bag of weed and placed it on the low table. 'Anyone care to do the honours?'. 'Now we're talking. That's just what I'm ready for 'thought I.

I offered to build while the chat continued. Politics, music, drugs, art, these guys were really into everything. But not in a showy way, like they were just looking to turn us on to good stuff we might have missed along the way. At some point, and I can't remember exactly how, but the subject of pornography came up. I said I was not against it if it was not driven by coercion or exploitation. E said she couldn't see a way of differentiating. Then she asked me how much money I would take to star in a film. Cheeky. The guys asked if we had ever watched gay porn. I certainly hadn't, but E said she had and she had found it quite arousing, in a voyeuristic way. She took a long drag from the joint I had just passed to her. It was nice to smoke weed. Back then it was all hash usually. The effect was rich, warm and disinhibiting.  E looked down over me with a knowing smile and lightly caressed my skin with long smooth strokes. I inhaled deeply and with conviction and the smoke soothed and calmed my still psychedelic thoughts toward the realm of dreams.

The guys suggested we retire for the night and lead us to their grand kingsize bed. It was room enough for us all to share, with a capacious duvet into which we snuggled, passing a final joint between us to ease us into slumber. I followed the odd trajectories of my thoughts until they drew me into the strange world of sleepy psychedelia. At some point I fell asleep, but it was an indefinite transition over a gradual period.

Next morning I felt someone get up, but soon dozed off again. I felt comfy, safe and satisfied as I pondered our adventures of the previous night, and the delicious events that took place. Some time later I was stirred by the smell of fresh coffee and food. J had brought warm buttered croissants which we happily consumed together. I looked at E and C and broad smiles were exchanged. At some point we would have to accept the duties of normal life again, but there was no need to hurry. It was still before mid day and bright sun shone in through the big sash windows of the old farmhouse, bathing us in benevolent warmth.

D said what a pleasure it had been to meet us all, and would we like to join them again clubbing in a couple of weeks. We exchanged phone numbers and enthusiastically discussed the possibilities. They had talked of a night in Bradford that they fancied, and offered again to accommodate us afterwards. The plan sounded exciting and I imagined expectantly as to what I'd wear, how many pills to gather, and the other logistics. It was like we had found a perfect setup through which to take in the then blossoming rave culture of our region. And we all agreed that this was our private world, that we needn't share with anyone else. We were good close friends between whom trust was a given proviso.

That year, we hooked up again with J and D several times more. They took us to a few more kinky venues than we might otherwise have looked at. We usually retired with them to their beautiful old farmhouse in the wood, where more erotic delights followed amidst the euphoric backdrop and smokey haze. The end of '91 saw C, E and I qualifying as nurses, at which time E moved to Newcastle to take up a job. C decided to take a year out and found bar work in Ibiza for several months. The scene there was getting quite notorious, though not as crazy as it had got by the mid 90's. I went to stay for a week, helping at the bar a bit, and dancing most of the nights away.

I took a job in Derby where I worked on a geriatric ward to begin with. It was not my ideal position and I actively sought alternatives until E rang me to tell me of another job in Newcastle. I was succesful and joined her up there in time to enjoy Christmas and New Year Geordie style. It was while there that I eventually met the man who would ask me to marry him two years later. Ch. was a tall gentle musician and labourer. His steady love and kind heart have accompanied me for the past years since. We have two lovely children, K and B, at school now. We have shared our past histories frankly and honestly so that there are no problems of trust. I am a loyal person and he fulfills my every need. We occasionally smoke pot together, and maybe once a year, try something more exotic, but with having children, you become more responsible out of love for them. I do not regret any of those past moments, and would regret more if I had not explored them. We gradually lost touch with J and D. That was OK though. We all had our own lives to lead.

I still have the mental map to their farmhouse, but they might not still live there, or even be together anymore. I hoped they were both as happy as I am now. C has a fiancee, while E has settled in to cohab with an older male nurse from her work. Both girls are in good places, and we will all hook up a couple of times per year, usually in Newcastle. We are none of us 'hardcore' anymore though. Our reunions tend to consist of a nice restaurant followed by some coffee and smoke on the patio at the back of our house. When I listen back to the music of those early years, time has not been very kind to it. But the intense memories triggered by some of the tunes still play havoc with my emotions, in a good way.

All in all, I wanted to get the point across that youthful hedonism does not necessarily lead to life failure and disappointment. The trick is maybe to find the right supportive friendships, and knowing when to say enough is enough with regard to the drugs.

I have more stories to tell, perhaps another time. I [share] this now after discovering my piecemeal diary jottings from that time, when having a clean out in the loft. I also found a big bag of various event flyers which I'd collected around then, always meaning to collage them and frame them somehow for posterity.

Exp Year: 1991	ExpID: 95435

Gender: Female

Age at time of experience: 20

Published: Jun 24, 2016	Views: 2,606

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LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Sex Discussion (14), Retrospective / Summary (11)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits

		 NBOMe Series
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   155 lb

25i-NBOMe [or potentially other NBOMe series compound] and HPPD

Basically me and a buddy dropped a couple blotters for our first time and tripped our nuts off for 2 days and were unable to crash without sleeping pills after being totally exhausted. The experience was everything from horrid to incredible. Hallucinations like no other that I'm not even going to try to describe.

Anyway the trip is not the reason I'm writing, but the never-ending after-affects. Its been over two thirds of a year and they are still very intense. From derealization to intense after-imaging and hallucinations. But the only issue this drug has brought me is intense anxiety. I have never been an anxious person until now. I think the anxiety is related to my mind processing too many details in the environment around me like noise and movement. I can't even look at a carpet for too long with out it moving or sparkling. If I focus on a complex design in one specific spot the whole room in my peripherals will go dark and I will be tripping. I can control some of the visuals but the anxiety and weird wonders about reality are always constant. Driving in the night is trippy. Signs multiply and all lights and reflections have intense halos that is very distracting because that are neat to look at sometimes.

The weirdest part about it is the person I dropped with is a relative and they are feeling the same after effects as myself unlike the rest of my friends who all tell me they came down and out of the trip just fine.

I'm interested in how many others this drug affected this way. I spoke with my doctor about my condition and we are experimenting with different anxiety medications to help me calm down.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 100975

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 17

Published: Jul 1, 2016	Views: 4,586

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LSD (2), 25I-NBOMe (542), NBOH Series (617) : Health Problems (27), Post Trip Problems (8), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		   repeated
		 smoked
		 Cannabis

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated

		 LSD

		   T+ 0:00
		   repeated

		 Mushrooms

		   T+ 24:00
		 100 mg

		 Methoxphenidine

		   T+ 24:00

		 oral
		 Coffee

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   205 lb

Solstice-

A Weekend of Fabulous Neon Freddie Mercury Bore Worms

Chemicals:

First Dose- 8 hits of Acid, 225 micrograms per hit (total 1,800 Micrograms)

Second Dose- At least 8 hits of Acid (possibly 10), again 225 micrograms per hit (total 1,800 Micrograms)

Third Dose- An Eighth of Shrooms while on the Second 8 Hits of Acid

Fourth Dose- A Quarter of Shrooms

Fifth Dose- 6 More Hits of Acid, 225 micrograms per hit (total of 1,350)

Sixth Dose- 100mg of 2-meo-diphenidine

(Varying hits of strong sativa marijuana throughout)

Background:

I am an avid psychedelic enthusiast. I have done many different RCs in varying combinations and amounts; acid, shrooms, MDMA, and a few other odds and ends here and there. I also have a natural chemical imbalance which causes me to regularly produce too much serotonin, thereby making it often seem like I am rolling of my own accord. We have discovered that this imbalance causes me to need a larger amount of chemicals to get where I want to go and then no matter how far I go I tend to keep a level head about myself.

Solstice:

Some friends and I went off to the first annual Solstice EDM/Psytrance festival in the mountains of my home state. We have been to the location for many festivals thrown by the same group and rabidly look forward to each one. So, already, set and setting has emotions high on the happy end of the scale.

(Set is a stunning valley in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by lush green forests, mountains; it has two lakes, bridges, hidden coves and copious amounts of walking trails. When decked out for a festival there are torches, lights, tents, dancers, vendors, an overall gorgeous neon-infused carnival type atmosphere. In short, it’s magical. Even completely sober I would be in heaven being there.)

Since starting in on the festival circuit it has been a dream of ours to constantly trip from start to finish, but due to varying circumstances and chemical availability we had never been able to achieve this goal… until now.

We had been able to get enough acid for our whole group prior to the festival. The acid was 225 micrograms per hit; tested with a test kit and orally prior to the festival (very strong, very psychedelic, very pure and very clean. The best acid any of us had ever had so far.) We also had available to us a variety of Research Chemicals, pot and a friendly neighbor at our camp site kept us in a constant supply of extremely good home grown shrooms.

I was dressed as Freddie Mercury for the first day/night of the festival.

I smoke a few hits of weed from my cousin’s pipe, then at 5:30pm I and my best friend took 8 hits of the uber acid, then went up onto a hill side for the come up.

As when we tested the acid previously the come up was fairly swift, taking a little less than an hour. First effects where shadows moving rapidly over the landscape as if the sun was rising and setting quickly; things in motion developed moving trail behind them and the body high was nearly overwhelmingly orgasmic. When the acid enters my system I tend to get a sensation that I can only describe as “the acid blanketing my brain like a warm blanket.”

When the acid enters my system I tend to get a sensation that I can only describe as “the acid blanketing my brain like a warm blanket.”

 This sensation occurred and almost made me pass out from delight.

We waited on the hillside a long time, I wanted to make sure we would be able to stand and walk before we went off on an adventure. The landscape became enveloped in technicolor three strip splendor and the leaves and trees began to twist and sway unnaturally. Once I determined I wouldn’t pass out we walked down the hill; as we went further and further sounds began to exaggerate and distort. Everything had an echo as if walking through a tunnel, bird calls happened that couldn’t be happening, voices came in from out of nowhere

Everything had an echo as if walking through a tunnel, bird calls happened that couldn’t be happening, voices came in from out of nowhere

; it was as if I was hearing everything that I could possibly hear all at one time.

The trees got taller and were textured with swirling, semi-geometric patterns. The path got longer and wider; the rocks on said path looked like tiny skulls crunching beneath my feet. We walked out into the open expanse in front of the big wooden gazebo that housed the stage. There was no music playing yet, just sound being tested, so we decided to go back to the camp. The sound testing seemed to bother my friend also on 8 hits; he mentioned “static being in the air.” I couldn’t quite tell that he was seeming to begin to have a rough time as I was distracted by the now intensely over the top audio hallucinations (looping bird chirps, looping whispering voices and hisses, the Friday the 13th “chh chh chh ha ha ha”, all coming in from nowhere, mixing in with what seemed like being able to hear every conversation going on at the entire festival.)

By the time we got to the campsite reality was visually folding in on itself like layers of blankets, over and over again; colors and shadows were rapidly cycling now, flashes of light were happening all around me, it was surreal and beautiful (somehow, as always, despite not quite being able to tell what the world actually looked like I could communicate and interact with it just fine.) Typical of my trips all of my friends and most of the people at the festival looked relatively normal and appeared to just be “green screened” in on top of the hallucinations.

The sound testing back at the stage was growing more annoying for my friend at this point but I was in good spirits. I felt full of silliness and smugness, the body high was enormous; I think that I’ve probably never felt better in my life. The lack of music playing was causing the audio hallucinations to grow louder and become more frequent, this was very noticeably bothering my friend now (he mentioned being in pain from it, but still, it didn’t quite register as being serious.) Our other friends couldn’t believe we were up and walking around with 1,800 micrograms of acid in our systems.

Eventually music began to play and we eagerly decide to go back to the stage. As we travel trees multiply and edit past us, the grass grows taller and shorter and sways back and forth to the growing beat. The music sounds hollow and distant, somewhat menacing, but also exciting. The world now has a cartoonish feel to it, almost like a living oil painting with a bit of cell shading for details. I can no longer tell exactly what colors are what (my friend also on 8 hits is dressed as a horror version of the Joker, my eyes switch his purple clothes with the green of his hair and vice versa; he also had green on his hands from applying the hair spray and I thought it made his hands look swollen and bruised causing me some concern especially with his increasingly distraught demeanor.)

As we get closer to the stage and the music becomes louder and more compelling my happiness and smugness swell even further. The stage is bouncing and pulsing in time with the beat, glowing like a beacon before me. I move faster and faster toward it, then just as we are about to walk up onto the stage my friend breaks away sharply and swings back toward the camp. I immediately walk after him, as we are always trip buddies and care for one another just in case one of us has a bad time.

My friend is repeatedly complaining of static in the air and being in pain all over from it; I realize he is verbally looping. I try to walk him in the direction of the camp but we are lost now due to visual confusion. The trail is bright white, it looks like it is made of light; the trees and cabins around the lake are a blur of colors and I can’t tell if the lake is a lake or if it is the sky. Somehow we end up near the cars. My friend is now repeating nothing but being in pain, worried he is ruining everything, that he has hurt people, that he is being arrested (he had a bad trip once and got tazed and taken in by the cops, so he tends to drift there mentally when things go south for him) I keep telling him that he is fine, we just need to get back to the camp so he can calm down.

Since we are near the cars I want to try and take him to our vehicle but I can't tell what car is what as it just seems like a literal sea of cars, endlessly stretching off into the rolling, moving, undulating, waving hills. I stop both of us, grounding myself for a moment, then lead us in the direction of the camp. The walk to the camp from the cars is strange, the world is twisting and turning like a funhouse, but otherwise looks kind of normal.

Once at the camp I make my friend sit; he is now doing nothing but looping his thoughts of being in pain, hearing static, asking how many hits he took, asking if he is ruining everything, asking if he is being arrested, etc. I keep answering him and telling him that he is fine and everything is fine. Once and a while my friend has a moment of clarity and asks if he can have a benzo; I tell him that he can, force him to sit, then go and get it.

It takes a long time and repeated conversations but I eventually get him to take the benzo. Then I pull my friend down next to me and we lay and wait for the benzo to do its job. As I lie on the ground and look up at the trees another friend mentions a woodpecker type noise and makes everyone laugh. Everyone gets on a kick/loop of talking about the bird noises, this causes me to see a spiraling kaleidoscope of cartoon birds above me, almost like Drinky Crow; I laugh.

My friends loops begin to slowly die down and the moments of clarity get more frequent as the benzo works in his system. I sense his emotional state changing and get a noticeable color shift and softening of intensity around us, it is refreshing. Then, just like that, my friend is back and ready to go.  He and I grab some water and head back to the stage. By this point the music is insane and wonderful, pounding off in the distance. The sun has either set at this point or was in the process of setting, I can’t really tell. For me a gorgeous, misty, unnaturally colorfully backlit pseudo night has descended over everything regardless.

We don’t so much as walk to the stage as we are pulled to it. Everyone around us appears to be floating just above the ground, drawn to the lights and music like a magnet. Suddenly we are walking up onto the stage. The deco is fantastic, like stretchy alien sinew awash with neon. My body moves fluidly as the music fills me and drives me. Everyone at the stage is moving, almost in unison; we all feel connected and feed off of each other’s energy.

The stage looks like a panther’s face to me, eyes glowing and yellow; everyone is intense and gorgeous, lost in their own little worlds, but still actively together. I feel god like. I dance endlessly, compelled and delighted to move. The air pulses and vibrates with each beat of the bass; an infectious purr hums through everyone sounding as if we are all some sort of machine-animal. Everything is sensual, pleasurable the height of happiness.

My friend and I decide to leave the stage and go for a walk; we go off into the darkness, lighting our way with a portable strobe light. The trees look skeletal and menacing, with each flash of the strobe light screaming faces of Angela from the end of Sleepaway Camp come flying out at me (for whatever reason this is a typical occurrence of a lot of my trips.) We climb a hill on the other side of the lower lake. The hill is endless and covered in a fog machine type mist that doesn’t exist, rainbow colored sparkles fill the air like camera flashes.

We sit and look down at the valley, it is stunning; everything is crisp and beautiful lit by the giant anime-like moon. We can see every star in the sky, probably more than actually exist. The stars sparkle and shoot and move in the blackness, it is glorious. My friend pulls out his phone and listens to a song. I lay and look up at the sky, hearing the endless ambient noise of nature mixing with the music, distorting and warping, making new sounds and new songs of it’s own. My friend gives me the headphones and plays Bloodsuckers by Liquid Stranger for me. The song is brassier, and more fun than it usually is, enhanced and dynamic. The music causes the trees to bounce and sway with the beat; small speakers shoot at me from each star playing notes of the song; I am delighted.

My friend and I decide to do more acid, so we rise and walk down the hill. The hill seems like a vertical cliff face and we are cartoonishly walking down it at a 90 degree angle. The walk back to our camp is at once eternal and too quick. My friend does 4 more hits and I do 8 (possibly 10, it was hard to count them) then we went back to the stage.

The stage has morphed into a giant snake head, constantly moving it’s eyes around the crowd and opening it’s jaws, clamping them down upon everyone; hissing and spitting venom in time with the music. At this point a new friend we made walks over and asks if we would like some shrooms, we say sure… He gives us way more than expected, about an eighth each. We continue dancing and dancing and dancing inside the snake’s mouth.

Surprisingly, considering the amount of acid I’m on, the shrooms hit quickly and well, adding a lovely, swirly vibe to the proceedings. In fact everything takes on a distinctly pastel/oil painting tone and becomes very cinematic and pronounced.  My friend and I go for a walk and end up at a dock by the upper lake.

We lay down on the bench and it feels like we are floating miles above the water… We look off toward the stage and the water, lights, trees and everything form just this endless expanse  of Lovecraftian madness; an indescribable, moving, living creature of the night stretching off into infinity.

Deciding to move again we head off in the direction of the far side of [the venue]. The music fades off into the distance as we climb further up the mountain. The area we are in already kind of has an industrial vibe with a lot of broken down vehicles, pipes and the like lying about, but in our state it becomes this massive abandoned factory/desert looking area. At the end of this area we know there is a tunnel of trees we always call “the spider tunnel” due to the way it looks when light hits it in the day time. At first we just want to look into it, as we are afraid there might be actual spiders inside it, but then we say fuck it and plunge on in.

The entrance looks very menacing, almost like a giant, moving black wall. The wall vision fades away and we enter the tunnel, again, lighting it with our portable strobe light. For the first time it actually feels like a tunnel of trees, just way longer than usual. It’s actual length is less than a football field but this time it seems to go on for about a mile. Once on the other side the sun is starting to come up way off in the night, casting everything in a blue haze.

We stand on the hillside looking down at the valley and stage. The stage looks like a 3-D pop up display and the people dancing inside look like shadows of ballerinas swaying back and forth in perfect unison. We stand for a long time just watching everything as the sun seems to rise at rapid pace. As the light grows brighter reality seems to paint into existence in front of us; everything being a perfect representation of what it actually is, but still unreal.

Midway through the dawning we walk down the hill and head back toward the camp. The still rising sun makes everything seem more and more beautiful and less and less real. It’s like watching a color drenched 1950’s version of a psytrance festival play in front of us.

At the camp, we sit and relax for a long beat; then I decide it is time for me to go and change into my next outfit.  I walk to my car, my trip seems to be fading slightly, even though everything is still strange and enhanced; I no longer have difficulty finding my vehicle regardless.

Once inside my car however it is a different story. All of my bags seem to multiply and overlap, the interior of the car becomes kaleidoscopic, swirling, fractaling shapes made of cycling colors. It takes me a long time and several instances of switching from the front seat to the back and the left side to the right before I feel comfortable enough to shave (I grew a Freddie Mercury moustache JUST for my costume the first day.)

Shaving is arduous. The face looking back from me in the mirror seems crazed with delight, my pupils are gigantic, and the pores on my skin come into sharp focus, then fade away, then cycle size and shape over and over again. Just after I put shaving cream on my moustache and hold the razor up to start I pause and watch the flesh peel off my hand, then the veins, then the muscle, until nothing is left but a skeleton. I shake the image away, then shave.

Once I am done shaving I slip into my next outfit, Hunter S. Thompson (complete with short shorts, knee high socks, Hawaiian shirt, vintage aviators, a fisherman’s hat and cigarette holder. Seeing myself without facial hair for the first time in a long while is strange, I don’t look like myself at all. I seriously look in the mirror and see the real Hunter S. Thompson, I am pleased.

I head back to camp, daytime is in full swing now. Everything is BRIGHT and cheerful.

I head back to camp, daytime is in full swing now. Everything is BRIGHT and cheerful.

 I see every color of nature and the surroundings as if see them for the first time. Once at the camp our new friend/camp neighbor walks over and offers us more shrooms. I pay for them this time, $10 for a whole quarter. I snack on the quarter over the next hour or so and the shrooms are a delight; again, just adding a lovely, happy, swirly demeanor to the reality and semi-visuals still going on.

The day moves by in a blur and is mostly spent dancing at the stage.

Around 5:30 it begins to rain and we scramble to get everything covered at the camp. My friend and I decide it is time for our next outfits then. I run back to my car, slip out of Hunter S. Thompson and into a pair of colorful neon tights, a blonde wig, a bunch of colorful plastic beads, a head band and then splash my face and torso with UV reactive paints. I have no name for this persona, sort of jokingly referring to him as “Every Raver Ever.”

By the time I get back to camp the rain has sadly stopped. My friend and I decide to eat. We get an order of beef brisket nachos from the food truck; they are orgasmic. We then take more acid (6 hits for me) and head back to the stage.

Slowly but surely the acid kicks in; as expected, due to tolerance, the acid just enhances the colors and makes me feel like I am having a good, clean, energetic roll. After a couple of hours I decide I want a little bit more than that, so I go back to camp and get 100mg of 2-meo-diphenidine (or as we call it Odd Look), then head right back to the stage.

Once at the stage another friend offers to split a cup of coffee with me. For whatever reason the coffee really hits me hard and ramps things highly as the Odd Look works its way into my system; by this time the sun is setting and darkness is descending. Everything becomes hazy and fuzzy around me, I feel loose and good, kind of outside of myself. Everything blurs and fades to the point that it seems like I am looking through reality through a fish tank.  I decide to change outfits one more time. By the time I get to my car it is totally dark. I wasn’t tripping super hard again until I climb into my vehicle, but once inside things go insane.

Almost as if someone switched on a filter on top of my vision, reality begins to flip flop back and forth. Like… Literally the “screen” of my vision swaps places back and forth, shifting vertically from left to right, all in time with the music that is constantly playing. If I stare in one direction too long not only does the imagery flip back and forth it starts to vibrate and snap zoom closer to me almost like a music video. And THEN on top of that, as if summoning the Final Boss of the day, a creature forms out of nothing in front of me.

The creature looks spherical, with two tiny stationary arms coming out of either side; it is made of video feedback loop, with a mouth full of swirling acid hit teeth. The creature is constantly saying “Bore Worm, Bore Worm, Bore Worm, Bore Worm” along with the beat of the music as it zig zags it’s way over my vision eating reality; everything that the Bore Worm doesn’t eat as it goes “Crunch Crunch Crunch” along flies to the upper left side of my vision and then disappears.

I manage to change into my last outfit, a plain/dark colored suit and tie, then I stumble out of my car. Whether it be from the Odd Look or due to the flip flopping visuals walking becomes very difficult. The darkness and path beyond the moving Bore Worm appear to be a vast, endless, star field with just a thin sliver of a white beam to walk on. I make my way back to the stage.

Once at the stage I cannot focus too long on anything due to the flip flopping visuals, especially looking at the stage décor and dancers. When I look back away from the stage the Bore Worm is constantly flying around eating the vendors, other people and valley, leaving bits and pieces of everything flying off in it’s wake.

For some reason I become obsessed with smoking DMT while in this state and I tell everyone to keep an eye out for someone who might be willing to let me try some, then I go off looking for it on my own. I walk on the small beam, through the star field back to the camp. I sit for a while at camp, telling everyone how gone I am (this is the first time Ive ever had an element of a trip seem like it might never stop) then I leave, again because it is very hard to focus.

I find myself at the upper lake dock; out of nowhere this Indian man appears and tells me to smoke his DMT. I do smoke it, and everything goes insane. The Bore Worm multiples and fractals and spirals out of control, as before I find myself floating in a realm of indescribable visual insanity above the lake, and the star field goes into hyper drive around me. And then I am back at camp. I tell everyone I found DMT, they are in disbelief… For some reason I am too, I decide to go and find the guy again.

I teleport through the star field and am back at the dock; again, appearing out of nowhere the Indian man is there again. The Indian man offers me another smoke, this time telling me it is hash. I smoke from him, the pipe looks the same, the substance looks the same, it all looks and smells the same; I realize the man and what I am smoking are almost certainly a hallucination. This time the visuals don’t go insane, I just realize I am tired.

I walk off into the star field and find myself at our friend’s van. My other friend, the one who has been on about as many chems as me is lying in the back, passed out. I climb into the front seat of the van and pass out.

I sleep for I don’t know how long, until at least 8:30am, then get up feeling refreshed, with no lingering side effects. I am perfectly sated by the trip, by the weekend, by everything.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108708

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 31

Published: Aug 15, 2016	Views: 1,850

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LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Combinations (3), Entities / Beings (37), Multi-Day Experience (13), Glowing Experiences (4), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)


		 DOSE:

		 2 hits

		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   160 lb

This report is for people with Christian backgrounds and beliefs in Christ who are considering taking LSD. Be warned. I learned some interesting things about the nature of 'hell.'

I began experimenting with LSD extensively last summer. I was taking it 2 times a week in small dosages and having the time of my life. Everything from working to social interaction to alone time was a game and extremely interesting. I had many insights into possible realities and insights into who I was and nothing was too shocking. This was the honeymoon phase.

Fast-forward a year later. After probably 30 trips I finally had a scary experience. Psychologically scary. Reality shattering.

The setting was my bachelor pad house. My house was weird...christmas lights strung up everywhere as our ceiling lighting, stadium couches, and roommates NOT usually home. We also had a cat (more on this creature later).

A good friend J was over who had only taken acid only once before. J is a friend who I got to know well based on the amazingly open, honest communication we could share since the time we met 2 years ago randomly through a mutual friend. Our goal was to go on a mutual trip of deep conversation about the nature of reality and ourselves, as well as our relationship.

We dropped in the evening, about 6 p.m. I have gotten to a point where I can almost immediately feel the effects of a tab of LSD. Very very subtle. It might be placebo.

Anyway we launched into conversation about life immediately, sitting at the dinner table with some fruit juice and a couple beers. After about 2 hours of random conversation with nothing too amazing, we got onto the subjects of God, religion, love.

I soon realized that me and J were at psychological opposite ends of the universe when it comes to the nature of God, good, and evil. This is when the trip started getting scary.

I remember arguing for along time, probably 2+ hours about each of our stances on the nature of God, but making no progress towards an understanding or acceptance of each other's views. This is about the time I entered into a very real, and very scary (I am shivering thinking about it now, almost 6 months later) thought loop. A thought loop is a circular reasoning loop that you cannot easily escape, and has been described by others on LSD. For the rest of the trip (6 hours) until I fell asleep with fear and exhaustion, I would go into my room for a time to escape the painful conversation and then return to the living room to try to remedy our impasse of mutual insight. On each return, I would have EXTREME deja vu to the point of questioning wether or not I could escape my altered state, ever. And mind you I was lucid. No crazy visuals or trouble speaking or seeing. This was all in my head.

No crazy visuals or trouble speaking or seeing. This was all in my head.

My room became hell, the place where I was isolated from God, truth and this girl in the living room. She became my salvation. The only way to get out of my self-induced hell was to convince her that I was actually experiencing Hell as described in the Bible, which I could not do. She simply didn't buy it. She remained steadfast in her agnosticism. I also somehow believed she was a figment of my imagination, no longer real but created by me to test myself and my ability to find truth. I felt that if I fell asleep, she would no longer exist the next day, and would haunt my memory forever.

The cat mentioned earlier was the cause of extreme mental stress. The cat became a symbol of disorder and confusion, as well as randomness and evil. It simply would not do anything predictable, and seemed to taunt me and hide and show itself at the most inopportune moments.

I decided at some point to take a walk around the neighborhood, but it provided no relief. I felt I was walking away from myself and my salvation.

I fell asleep probably at 4 a.m. After a very traumatic thought loop rollercoaster.

The next day I was shaken, nervous, and very scared that I had gone too far into myself. I went home and told my mother about my trip, she didn't know I had ever tried drugs before. It was a hard conversation but we got through it.

Me and J have never been the same since. We remain pleasant, but our friendship was rocked that night in ways I can't easily describe.

Since then I have been on a journey of truth seeking and not much has come of it. I believe acid has the power to open your mind so much that the potential realities that it reveals become confusing and ultimately harmful to an individual. Ignorance is bliss as they say. I am instantly reminded of the story of Adam and Eve. The apple of the knowledge of good and evil was plucked at the beginning of time, and we are still plucking it today, for better or worse.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 74344

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: Not Given

Published: Aug 26, 2016	Views: 2,264

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LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)


		 DOSE:
 T+ 0:00
		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

		   T+ 1:00
		   hits
		 transdermal
		 Datura
		 (tincture)

		   T+ 1:00
		   hits
		 transdermal
		 Datura
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 1:00
		   hits
		 transdermal
		 Coleus
		 (plant material)

		   T+ 1:00
		   hits
		 transdermal
		 Aloes
		 (leaves)

		   T+ 2:30
		 3 hits
		 oral
		 LSD
		 (blotter / tab)

           BODY WEIGHT:
	   185 lb

It is now 11:35 P.M. as I sit here writing these words.  In the timeless span of a mere eight hours after my ingestion of LSD I can now safely say that I arrived back in my earthly coil for at least the near foreseeable future, however far that could possibly be.

As my vision still pulsates with the rippling, geodesic shapes to the tune of some massive, incomprehensible algorithm (algor-RHYTHM) the likes of which I could never possibly hope to grasp, I have found it somewhat necessary--this time around--to chronicle my experience.

My girlfriend had just gotten home from the hospital.  She had just had an invasive procedure performed (minor surgery, Upper GI Endoscopy) to which she had been given Versed and Benadryl during the actual procedure and was now recovering from the after-effects.

We had discussed the day previous that I would be taking the LSD sometime that weekend, though the exact time of my 'departure' was not specified.  It actually coincided perfectly with her 'sleeping off' the initial effects of her dosages from the hospital.

I must admit, the idea of sitting on a potential '6 hits' of acid definitely stirred in me the desire to get the ball rolling, so, after arriving home, I promptly cut my blotter in half and took 3 doses down the hatch.

The blotter itself was something that came upon me quite suddenly.  One day my distant friend and coworker Chris texts me, 'Do you want mushrooms? I can get acid too.'  To which I distinctly remember with fondness replying, 'YES!!!'

So, a day or two later, here I have this tiny square with some lightning bolts on it.  Okay, so, here we go, we'll see if you're worth the paper you're dripped on.

And so now here we were, with my girlfriend laying peacefully in the living room with her dream pillow (she loves her pillow) in the afternoon sunlight, and I was to be found next door in the master bedroom dissolving the first portion of my trip in my mouth.

The comeuppance of it all came on rather gracefully, gently even.  I had managed to find, underneath our bed (littered with various books on philosophy and the arcane, a veritable 'wizard's library' under our bed! Monsters under the bed!) a book entitled,  'The Great Waldo Search' by Martin Handford.  A book, it had turned out, I could never seem to willfully dispose.

The irony of finding this book to use as a stepping off point for the trip was not lost for a moment, and I welcomed the nostalgic pull back to my childhood as the effects of the acid were slowly starting to creep up into the open recesses of my mind.

It became a game for me, finding Waldo and his Wizard companion, and his scrolls.  All the while the acid started to take hold, making the lines of the drawings crisper.  Bringing to light all the little details Martin had plied on each and every character.  As I went from page-to-page, world-to-world, things got noticeably livelier one moment after the next.

The acid was proving to be a worthwhile investment.  This made me laugh.  The electric currents now softly began to run through me.  I began to fully appreciate how the interplay of light and shadow reflected off the hairs of my arms.  How everything in the room took on soft, golden hues, interspersed with purple and green.

My brain would suffer the occasional 'zap' of my grow-lamp buzzing out of control for brief little explosions of sound.  Which invariably remind me of what to expect, as I was expecting it, and laughing at the realization of it all.

My bedroom is a little something that needs explaining.  I have a grow-lamp in our bedroom that grows my three friends.  The first is Al.  He's an Aloe Vera plant (with many 'pups' at the moment).  The second is Coleus.  A plant possessing a very pleasurable aesthetic (just like its master ;D ).  Picture vibrant, green-tipped leaves of dark purple/amber/maroon metallic hues.  And my third, and perhaps most important friend, Datura Inoxia.

Yes, I have a beautiful Datura Inoxia plant in my bedroom that I have been cultivating for several years.  I had been trying to align myself with its spirit all the while, and have taken it quite slowly, out of the fear and respect it both duly deserves.

This plant, however, is mentioned because of the role it has to play in this particular experience.

With my ascension in full swing, I managed to find another potent object underneath my bed.  This was an object I had found amidst a particularly foreboding Mescaline trip from many years prior and had subsequently made its way to my dusty bin of antiquities.  It was a stone.  A very hard, very dense piece of white quartz intermixed with equal parts blood red thulite.

To have seen this stone when it first came into my consciousness so many years ago was a sight to behold indeed.  I remember, distinctly, waves of energy rushing over and through this stone.  Almost as if it were unmoved by the very swirls and vortices of energy.  A veritable port in the storm, so to speak.

And now, ironically (a word quite common to the LSD trip you will find) it served as exactly the sort as I held it in the palm of my hand, utterly dumbstruck at the way the light and energy would tessellate over the surface of its utterly dense existence.  Unaware to how truly powerful this device might be for anchoring oneself within the very essence of space and time.

Here was a thing if ever there was one.  This rock had suddenly become my focal point for everything there ever was to conceive about the conceivability of everything.  As I would continue to hold this rock and pontificate these thoughts, countless hours, days, months, years would pass by in the form of mere moments, indecipherable as to whatever exact, measurable units of time were actually spent.

Yes, yes.  Everything was going just as planned.  But, my plans were a bit more maligned than anticipated (isn't that how things always happen to be revealed when on an acid trip).

I had recently made a batch of flying ointment that I been working up the nerve to try, waiting for a worthy, whimsical moment such as this.  The ointment consisted of melting a couple cups of lard into a liquid and mixing equal parts coleus and datura (about 3 cups of each, fresh and finely processed).  To which I simmered for several hours together with a few leaves of Al, of which I had graciously accepted, that I had thrown into the mix for good measure.

After the simmering, I strained out the plant material and set into a container for cooling, but not before FIRST adding several dropperfuls of a tincture I had made strictly from parts of the Datura plant.  This tincture was made from straight EverClear poured over plant material and set for about two and a half-weeks in a cool, dark place.

And so, here we have the culimination of all that work coming to a head, in the form of me slathering my temples, armpits, underside of my legs and feet, and genitalia with the jade green mixture.  A sight to behold, to be sure.  And well on my way for blast off.  Or so I at least anticipated.

As I lay in a meditative state on the floor beside the bed and the plants, I hear a stirring in the next room.  My beloved comes in the room, groggy and disheveled and hungry.  She looks at the naked man lying on the floor, and says, 'Oh, are you meditating?' and then groggily walks back into the living room.  I love my girlfriend :)

The last vestiges of ordinary reality are now far behind, as I lay with my eyes closed, envisioning electric, pulsating, rhythmical masses of flesh that are tessellating and spinning to some weird sense of cosmic assertion that, at the time, I am completely aware of the profundity of it all, whilst in the same vein completely ignorant of why it happens to be that way, but yet, knowing that--in and of itself--brings a smile to my face.

My girlfriend has now come to her senses and is talking to me from the dining room.  She is going over the post-op paperwork and joking about all the silly formalities on the paperwork.  She is utterly lucid with her humor, and I can't help but be infatuated with her charm and overall life force that she is now clearly exuding.

The culmination of her finding out just what was wrong with her, combined with the empathetic effects of the LSD that I am impacting her with are not taken for granted.  She talks with me of how she feels as if 'a great weight has been lifted off her shoulders.'  I smile at her, she still has no idea of where I am at 'mind-space'-wise.

I sit there in awe of how absolutely beautiful she is, as she is talking with me about the moments she is starting to remember with the nurses and the doctor.  Every thing she says is joyful in every sense of the word.  The way she is saying it, what she's saying, how she looks as she's saying it.  The syncretism of the very fabric of being is not lost on me as I sit and gaze upon this fellow creature in complete adoration.

With LSD, I am perpetually smiling, and even as I stare back into my own saucer-sized, black holes for eyes, I am smiling.  As it was with this I knew I needed to take it deeper.  Knowing that my tolerance would only build rapidly after this day of experience and that I wouldn't have another chance at the complete ego death I was after, I decided to eat the other half of my blotter.

This had been about two to three hours into my trip at this time.  Any other seasoned LSD tripper could probably attest to the awe-inspiring visuals that were now breathing from one realm of reality into another.  The patterns in themselves, in my vision, were there as if to say, 'Yes, all of this shit is happening right now, right here, forever and always.  So, yeah, get used to that feeling... cause it's... right... here! now! here. now. here... now.'

I can feel the remaining blotter starting to take its effect.  I am unsure as to what role, if any, the ointment is now playing.  (in hindsight, I really do feel it added to the distortion of looking into the 'essence' of things, though I believe this may have been more psychosomatic as none of the typical symptoms of Datura use could be discerned)  But I am sure of one thing, it feels as though the very way I am perceiving things is vibrating and moving in and out of time.

At one point, in perhaps what one would consider the apex of my trip, I remember sitting on the bed looking out the window as the sun was setting.  It was shining its light through the webs of a funnel-weaver spider's abode who happened to be sitting right out in the middle of it at that moment.  I was staring so intently at it, when suddenly my girlfriend comes back into the room.

She sits on the bed next to me and looks at me, and she now knows something is up, but it's something she's never experienced before.  I look into her eyes and an overwhelming emotion of solidarity and connection overtakes me.  She seems to discern this feeling and replies with a knowing look that felt as if the very universe had just acknowledged itself.  As if the yin had just winked at the yang.

I'm a Cancer, if that means anything, and so I have no problems with admitting that I am rather in tune with my emotions.  The impact this moment has on me, sitting with my girlfriend, resonates over and over again.

Then something happens.  As I am sitting there staring at her, a sense of vacuity overtakes me the likes of which I hadn't foreseen.  Suddenly I am staring into the face of nothing.  This creature in front of me moves through a thousand iterations of life and death, dust to dust.  I see this in this face.  I can see it alive and dead in front of me.  It is only slightly smiling at me now, as if to say it is all inevitable.

I can feel something about to dislodge in myself, and I think, looking back, this was to be myself I was to dislodge from.  But, in my cowardice, I decided to not let go completely and be swept away by the crossing of pathes with the complete and utter unknown.

I regress back into the torment of trying to grasp what it is this creature has to do with this moment that now finds itself here with me.  I get up and open the window for some air.  I slowly start to gain a foothold on my psyche and my girlfriend appears, lovingly, once more.

She now goes back into the living room.  And now I am suddenly beset by the sound of a roaring car outside.  It sounds fierce and guttural.  I hear it rip roar close by and it takes off in a direction I cannot see from my window.  I can hear it ride long and far and free into the expansive beyond.  I get lost in the sound only to find that the car has now come full circle and it is right back on the other side of the trees.

I know its there, and I desperately want to get a look at it, but everytime that it sounds like it's going to pop out from the trees it ends up going the opposite direction and then I hear it 'ride out' once more into the distance.

It becomes a game I know deep-down I have no chance of winning.  Of trying to catch a glimpse of this mysterious phantom car.  I have the sneaking suspicion this is perhaps what don Juan had warned Carlos about in relation to Death 'putting on its hat'.

Alas, the remainder of my trip was spent in quiet contemplation of things, from myself and the role I have to play in this lifetime, to trying to wrap my puny human intellect around the vast expanse of all known and unknown reality, and laughing and marveling at my utter failure to do so.

In retrospect, I am very glad to have made the journey back to this place yet again, and I feel it came at both the right time for myself, and my beloved girlfriend.

Anyone who happens to be scared at the prospect of trying an acid trip is by all means completely sane for thinking as much, but, for the sake of knowing, and for the sake of the universe itself and thusly consciousness itself, you owe it to yourself to face that fear, if not for the clarity that it can bring, than surely for the indescribable experience that it will impact you with, for the rest of your mortal existence (and beyond).

Godspeed.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104424

Gender: Male

Age at time of experience: 31

Published: Oct 13, 2016	Views: 10,669

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LSD (2), Aloes (656), Coleus (168), Datura (15) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3), General (1)