I made a response to the Ponychan thread regarding the “Derpy” discussion. Warning, there’s a lot of infuriating stuff in there.

Please don’t write to me any more about this, at least not this weekend. I really have a lot of work to focus on for Monday, and this has stressed me out the point of screwing up my work schedule as it is.

All right. This is really getting out of hand.

This is a discussion that never should have left the game development chat, but seeing as it has been brought into the public I would like to address some of the misconceptions and assumptions people have been making about me and my opinions.

When I was approached about joining the team, my only condition was that “Derpy” would not be included in the game. I have the emails to back this up. As for why I was so adamant about this, allow me to give you some history on the word “derp.”

Derp stems from “herp derp,” and “hurr durr” and other ableist slurs intending to imitate the stereotypical sounds made by people with cerebral palsy. While it may have originated in South Park under different pretenses, you will have a hard time arguing the fact that the internet has co-opted the word in a very derogatory way. Just search images under “herp derp” and you’ll find tons of Photoshopped images made to ridicule people with down’s syndrome.

Some links for further reading:

http://genderbitch.tumblr.com/post/1005199855/conclusions-the-word-derp-and-variations

http://evewithanapple.tumblr.com/post/7019053030/open-letter-to-tom-hiddleston-fandom-apparently

Contrary to what some people here seem to have assumed, I have no problem with having disabled characters get some visibility. I have been campaigning, in this game, and all my other projects, to get more positive representation of many minorities, including the non-neurotypical.

My main concern is that including this character, especially the fancanon version of her, would be propagating the negative stereotype most of fandom has developed around this background pony. I would be fine with including her as “Ditzy Doo” as long as she was not reduced to a bunch of jokes about how “unintelligent” she is.

What some bronies don’t realize (or perhaps are unwilling to acknowledge) is that there is a greater context for this debate outside of one little background pony in a fangame. Propagating ableist stereotypes even on a small scale adds to large scale oppression. I don’t believe that a thousand ignorant people’s right to have a cheap joke is more important than one person’s right to their dignity and respect. Intent doesn’t mean anything. Even if you have no idea how hurtful you are being, the damage is done.

And to those saying I should turn a blind eye to the injustices against my family and friends in order to bend to the whims of ignorant online masses… well, you clearly haven’t absorbed the whole message of Friendship Is Magic. =P

I don’t believe that anyone on my team, or that most people here, are being intentionally trying to marginalize and oppress the mentally disabled. But I DO think that some of you should take a closer look and do some research about problematic terms like “Derpy” before immediately jumping to the defensive. Once you understand it is a loaded word, you have two options: become a more educated and sensitive individual, or choose to stay ignorant and continue using oppressive language because it is the easy, selfish, and cowardly thing to do.

As for myself, I am not a paragon of Social Justice. I have made these mistakes too, and had to be corrected and educated about them. I know it’s embarrassing. I know I will make similar mistakes in the future, and I would hope people would speak up about it so that I could learn and become a better person for it.

I don’t bring these things up because I enjoy arguing and debating, it actually really stresses me out and screws up my work schedule terribly. I bring it up because there are people I care about who cannot talk about it, mostly due to their social phobia. (They are right to be scared, I mean, just look at the huge backlashI got for speaking up about it.) But I do have to speak up, because I am not to the type of person who can turn a blind eye to casual oppression.

One final note: I really don’t want to leave the team. I think the people there are great. Our game is going to be amazing. And I want it to be the best it can be, something I am proud to endorse and attach my name to. Something I won’t be ashamed to show my friends and family. If this game came out and had a really nasty representation of a mentally handicapped character, I would be a massive hypocrite. In addition, I have a pretty large online following, and my endorsement of the game is valuable. I am helping with almost every aspect from the voice acting to concept art to the actual story. If leave now, it will really impact the development- and I wouldn’t want to do that to the team, nor lose contact with my new friends there.

Sorry for the verbose response, but there was a lot to reply to. I hope you guys can understand where I’m coming from. Peace.