UN: Pope can’t build Kingdom of God on earth

The Vatican is angry today, very angry indeed, and the pope is rumored to have been nipping liberally at the communion wine. The long planned and carefully designed Kingdom of God project must wait before the first spade of holy earth is turned.

A source close to MMA told us that the project architect, Michael Archangel, was so despondent he tried to cast himself from the roof of St. Peters, but realizing he could fly, couldn’t resist saving himself. One source tells us that many were disappointed, as Michael’s job was much coveted by the Vatican court.

Adding to the unhappiness, the papal grapevine is abuzz with rumors of a large celebration planned for later this week in Hell. Lucifer, it seems is ecstatic, and is planning to submit plans of his own for Hell on Earth, despite the competition from New Jersey.

An effort was made to interview an Atheist, but we were told that the non-believers were laughing so hard they were unable to speak. We will, of course try later to get their reaction to this news.

Here is the story from Mr. Blacker of NewsBiscuit: