in which AJ tries to seduce red because fanfiction idk also it ends



(i’m so freaking glad i finally finished this)



enjoy



—







AJ made his way back to the living room. Red wasn’t there, but there were still some noises coming from the kitchen. AJ sat down on the couch.

“Where are you now?” Burrito asked.

AJ groaned under his breath, then hesitantly leaned towards his lap.

“That’s not a yes-or-no question,” he hissed quietly.

“I can’t hear you. Get closer to the mic.”

AJ reluctantly leaned further.

“I can’t, it’s gonna look… weird,” AJ growled, still keeping his voice down.

“No one’s around to see it. Now, where are you?”

“I’m at the couch, but-”

“Did you say something?” AJ heard Red suddenly ask.

“Oh, um-” AJ immediately sprung back up and saw Red standing in front of him, still without his shirt. “No, I’m just… talking to myself,” AJ explained, beginning to blush. “I do that sometimes.”

“Oh,” Red replied. “I don’t,” he added some seconds later.

“…Okay,” AJ said nervously. Red shrugged slightly and walked back into the kitchen.

“Right, sorry about that, AJ,” Burrito apologized. “I’ll ask only yes-or-no questions from this point on, alright?”

AJ sighed and tapped his pocket once.

“Good,” the espeon said. “Now, I want you to adopt a flirty pose.”

What is a ‘flirty pose’? AJ thought, beginning to grow frustrated.

“True, you probably don’t know what I mean by that…” Burrito remarked. “Just cross your legs and act coy. But, for the love of love itself, be subtle about it.”

AJ did as instructed. Boy, this sure is uncomfortable… he thought, but tried his best not to show it.

In few a moments, the noises from the kitchen ceased and Red appeared from behind the wall again. “So, AJ,” Red started sluggishly. “I don’t know how much Abe told you, so I should probably let you know the… details.”

“Alright, AJ, this is your chance to take the initiative,” Burrito gushed. “Get up. Smoothly. And do exactly as I say.”

AJ listened to the rest of Burrito’s instructions, and got up. “Oh, I think I already understand just what it is you want,” AJ cooed, somewhat forcefully, but still took pride in how much of his disgust he was able to suppress in the first place.

“…Well, nevertheless,” Red continued, “you may actually have heard something about this situation from Alice before. And while I certainly do not like her, we seem to have a common interest in mind…”

As Red was talking, AJ slowly made his way closer and closer, as Burrito had told him to do.

“I also have only one thing in mind right now,” AJ said after Red had finished. But… wait, AJ suddenly thought to himself. What was he about to say just now-

“You do?” Red asked, seeming confused, at the same time interrupting AJ’s thoughts. “I didn’t think you would have concerned yourself with this, seeing how you normally try to avoid having dealings with me…”

AJ stepped even closer. He was now so close to Red that their bare chests could almost touch. AJ half expected Red to step back, but it seemed that Red was rather unfazed by his unusually close proximity. Seems that he doesn’t mind his personal space being invaded…

“I certainly do,” AJ said quietly, trying to mimic the tone in which Burrito had uttered the words to him. “And that one thing is…” AJ paused to lay his hand onto Red’s hip. Red looked surprised, but strangely, didn’t express any other emotion.

“You,” AJ whispered.

“What about me?” Red asked calmly.

“All of you,” AJ exhaled.

Red looked disoriented. He stayed silent for quite a while, staring at AJ the whole time, not even blinking.

“Ugh, what is wrong with that boy?” Burrito groaned. “Doesn’t he understand what that means?”

Suddenly, Red chuckled briefly.

“If I can request such a thing,” he said, smiling, “I want all of you, too. No holding back.”

“There we go! Finally!” Burrito shouted.

“But…” Red continued, discarding his smile, “wouldn’t this all be a bit more comfortable to do on the couch?”

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” Burrito said, delighted. “Alright, let’s get back to it. AJ, say ‘of course’ and have a seat.”

“Of course,” AJ said, letting go of Red and moving back onto the couch. Red followed, and sat on the other end.

“Did he sit next to you?” Burrito asked.

AJ tapped his pocket twice. Red glanced at him with a questioning look, causing AJ’s heart to skip a beat. Did… did he see me just now? AJ thought nervously.

“You gotta get closer to him,” Burrito said. “Try moving right next to him. He didn’t seem to mind you getting closer before.”

AJ did as he was told. Red didn’t react to him. It looked like he was deep in thought.

In a while, however, he snapped himself out of it and turned to AJ again.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Red started, “you probably know the gist of all this, but we should really discuss this issue further.”

“You want to go deeper, don’t you?” AJ murmured as Burrito had just instructed.

“Yes, I do,” Red replied. “And I’d like to begin with the length.”

Burrito whispered something. I’m not saying that, AJ thought, indignant.

“The length of what?” AJ asked, this time on his own.

“Our… agreement,” Red clarified. “Realistically, I don’t expect to have my needs satisfied in a very short time. This may end up having to be quite long-term.”

“Long-term?” AJ repeated, again on his own. “A long-term relationship?”

“Hey! Quit improvising! This isn’t how we agreed to do this!” Burrito hissed. AJ rebelliously tapped his pocket twice.

“I suppose you could all it that, yes,” Red said. “It will have to be pretty close, too. Your, uh, acquaintance might not like that, but, to be honest, his displeasure is not something I concern myself very much with. No offense.”

Does he not know Joey is my boyfriend, or is he just deliberately avoiding that word? AJ pondered.

“AJ, come on,” Burrito whined. “You’ll never get to the fun part without me! Just do as I say!”

AJ exhaled deeply and quickly tapped his pocket once.

“Thank you,” Burrito sighed, relieved. “Now, I want you to say the following…”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” AJ said, now under Burrito’s command once more.

“That’s good to hear,” Red said, though it didn’t seem like he cared enough to mean it. He looked as if he was in the middle of thinking of something else instead.

AJ nodded, not knowing what else to do. A moment of awkward silence followed.

“AJ…” Red unexpectedly started. His tone was strangely smoother than before.

“Yes?”

Red smirked. “Come closer,” he said quietly.

AJ moved the last few inches between them across the couch. “What is it?” he asked.

“It’s not much,” Red answered, “I just want to…”

Suddenly, without warning, Red pushed AJ back. AJ fell on his back onto the couch, alarmed and perplexed by what was happening. Red promptly pounced on him and pinned him down.

“…see something,” Red gently continued, now on top of AJ. AJ could feel the warmth of Red’s breath on his neck.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Burrito asked, but AJ was unable to answer.

Red kept smiling smugly and put his hand on AJ’s chest. AJ recoiled from his touch.

What is he doing? He wasn’t anything like this just a minute ago! AJ thought. Did I succeed? did I ‘seduce’ him?

Red began moving his hand down across AJ’s skin. AJ shuddered.

Don’t go any lower or I swear to-

Red didn’t show any signs of stopping. AJ could feel Red’s hand sliding across his abdomen, all the way down to his hip.

W-wait, don’t-

Swiftly and unexpectedly, Red buried his hand in AJ’s pocket. AJ felt the microphone being pressed against him.

“I knew it,” Red purred.

“AJ, what was that noise just now? What’s going on? AJ!” Burrito panicked.





Suddenly, the front door opened.





Oh no.





“Hi, AJ!” sounded a familiar cheerful shout from the hall. “Sorry that I’m back so early, but something unexpected happe-”

The voice stopped. Red moved to AJ’s side to see what was going, allowing AJ to get a clear look as well.

In the doorframe, there stood a short boy wearing shorts, utterly devastated by what he was seeing.

“Wh-what’s going on?” he exclaimed. “AJ, what is this?”

What do I do? What do I do? AJ thought, blushing thoroughly. Then he remembered. The safe word!

“W-wowzers!” AJ blurted at the top of his lungs. Soon, tapping and rumbling could be heard from upstairs, and shortly after Burrito and Brian appeared at the top of the stairs.

“O-oh dear…” Burrito whimpered after he saw the scene, covering his mouth with his paw. Brian, however, was staring at the red stain in the carpet, sighing heavily, as he knew he was in charge of cleaning that week.

“Oh, hello,” Red calmly greeted, still on top of AJ. “Joe, was it?”

“I-it’s Joey,” the boy stuttered. “B-but what are you two-”

“Joey! It’s not what it looks like!” AJ shouted. “We’re just- this is a-”

The door to Gator’s room was slammed open, revealing an angry Gator.

“What’s all this yelling about-” he started, but paused to get a better look at the room and everyone in it. Finally, he turned to Burrito’s direction.

“Burrito, what the hell?” he roared. “Are you this desperate?”

“I didn’t take their shirts off,” Burrito hissed back. “Besides, we were just- we were just-”

“That is a good question. What were you doing?” Red asked in a serious, scolding tone.

“Oh, piss off, Red! It’s not like you’re the victim here!” AJ snapped, pushing Red off him and shuffling over to the other end of the couch.

“Victim?” Red exclaimed. “I’ve come here to make peace, and for the longest time, you only rejected my efforts!”

“For goodness’ sake, Red, I’m not into you!” AJ shouted.

“Wh-what?” Red replied, seeming genuinely baffled. “What are you even talking about?”

“You! You come here with flowers! You dress yourself up all nice for me! You say you need me!” AJ hurriedly rushed.

“I was just trying to be nice!” Red shouted.

“But… the flowers…” Katie, who had apparently arrived during the commotion as well, interrupted from the hall. Oh, great. Everyone’s here. Hooray, AJ thought, rolling his eyes.

“…they were ridgeblues!” Katie continued. “You’d have to risk your life to get those!”

“Those little weeds?” Red scoffed. “I’ve been growing my own ridgeblues for years! I use them for my incense! I just gave you what was left over. And as for ‘needing’ you, AJ…”

Red turned to AJ. “I do need you,” he said. “I need your help. Abe didn’t really even tell you why I’m here, did he?”

“N-no,” AJ hesitantly admitted.

“Well, that figures…” Red sighed. “You really have no idea what I came here for.”

“Well, it’s not my fault!” AJ retorted. “You’ve been so vague all this time! You could have just told me on the first day!”

“I couldn’t! You wouldn’t let me in!”

“You don’t need to come in to tell me something like that,” AJ hissed.

“Do you think I would come to you for help just like that, AJ?” Red shouted. “Besides, I’ve been trying to tell you since I got inside, but you kept interrupting me! What did you think I was doing this whole time?”

“Well… well, I…”

AJ paused to take a deep breath. Might as well just come out and say it.

“I thought… you were in love with me.”

“You thought…?”

Red looked at AJ as if he’d seen a ghost. Then, slowly, he smiled. Then he began to chuckle. His laugh gradually grew louder and louder. Then, after a while, he was howling with laughter, sounding more like some kind of crazed mightyena than an actual human being. AJ looked down in shame, utterly defeated.

“Did- did you honestly-” Red tried, but couldn’t stop laughing. “Y-you and me? Really?”

AJ buried his face into his palms, but he still couldn’t hide the intense red hue it had obtained from the sheer amount of humiliation he felt.

However, he still bolted up briefly to snap at Burrito. “Burrito, this is all your fault, you horny bastard!”

“Hey, it takes two to tango, hun!” Burrito countered. Brian gave the feline a look of disapproval.

“AJ, listen to me,” Red said, finally able to restrain his laughter. “I hate you. I really hate you. Nothing will ever change that.”

Red sighed.

“And, AJ, I am a priest. I am celibate. I couldn’t go fooling around if I wanted to. I thought you knew this.”

“Alright, alright, I’m an idiot, I get it,” AJ muttered. “But what did you come here for, then?”

Red assumed a more serious expression. He looked away.

“I need your help to defeat Evan,” he mumbled.

“Evan?” AJ asked. “The glitchy kid?”

“Yes,” Red admitted. “I’ve tried everything, but nothing works against him. All my efforts have failed. No one else has been able to help me.”

“So… when you spoke about an agreement, you actually meant… an agreement.”

“Of course. What else would I mean by that?”

Red paused to think. Then he snorted. “A relationship? AJ, seriously…”

“Blame the cat,” AJ muttered. “This was his idea.”

“Of course it was…”

Red gave the pink feline, who had already snuck down the stairs, a contemptuous glare. Burrito humphed and looked away. “Just wanted to have some fun…” he grumbled.

“Is my mic okay?” Brian shouted, still on top of the stairs.

“Abba, what- what are you doing here?” Red asked, looking puzzled.

“I’m… not Abba. I’m Brian,” the bird cautiously corrected.

“Oh, my apologies. I can never seem to tell the two of you apart.”

Brian said nothing. He just stared at Red with a vicious look in his eyes.

“I, uhh, I’m still a bit confused,” Joey warily started. “What is going on here exactly?”

Gator grunted. “It’s a long story. But AJ’s not cheating on you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he explained.

“Oh, alright, if you say so…”

AJ suddenly remembered that both he and Red were still shirtless. He blushed, got up and hurriedly went to pick up his shirt from the corner. He put it back on, and glanced at Red, who hadn’t moved an inch.

“You know, you should probably put on some clothes yourself,” AJ criticized.

“Fine, if it makes you that uncomfortable,” Red muttered.

AJ looked at Joey, and to his dismay, saw that Red had now caught the boy’s eye as well.

Katie fluttered over to the boy and subtly pointed to AJ. “Your boyfriend’s over there,” she whispered.

Joey blushed and looked towards AJ again, sheepishly grinning. AJ sighed. Burrito snickered.





After Red had fetched his clothes and put them back on, he turned to AJ.

“What do you want now?” AJ groaned after he had noticed Red’s questioning look.

“I never got my answer,” Red said. “Will you help me deal with Evan or not?”

“If it gets you to leave faster, sure,” AJ snapped.

“I’m serious, AJ.”

“Fine. I, AJ Downey, will help you, Red Akai, with your thing. Now, will you please leave my house.”

“Thank you,” Red sighed, relieved. “Although that handshake we did earlier was binding, so you wouldn’t have had much of a choice now, anyway,” he passingly added. “I’ll just be on my way, then. I’ll contact you again sometime soon. Goodbye.”

He headed for the front door, but was stopped by Brian.

“Wait,” the bird started.

“What is it now?” both Red and AJ groaned. They exchanged a quick, awkward look right after.

“You said that coming to AJ was your last straw,” Brian said. “But… what do we get out of it?”

“You get to live another day,” Red growled under his breath.

“Hold on, he’s got a point,” AJ intervened. “If I’m going to do something for you, you have to do something for me, too.”

Red exhaled deeply. “What do you want,” he asked monotonously.

“Well…” AJ stopped to think. “…After we succeed, you have to leave me and my friends alone.”

“For good?” Red exclaimed. “You know I can’t do that!”

“I guess we don’t have a deal, then…”

“W-wait!” Red interrupted. “F-fine. I’ll leave you alone.”

“You promise?”

“I… p-promise.”

Red tried to force a smile on his face to seem trustworthy, but just ended up looking like a cornered wild mon, seconds from attacking whomever he was threatened by.

“Ugh, it doesn’t matter what you do, AJ, he’s never going to give up trying to butcher you,” Gator sighed. “Just give him a finite time frame and he’ll be off.”

“Alright,” AJ replied. “Red, make that only a year.”

Red looked relieved. “I think I can handle that. Thank you.”

He opened the front door and slipped out. AJ and Brian moved to the window to watch him leave, while the others settled down in the living room, preparing to explain the whole ordeal in detail to the still confused Joey.

“What a weirdo,” AJ muttered as they followed the departing Red with their gazes. Brian nodded.

They waited for Red to reach the street. It was silent between them, until Brian suddenly spoke again.

“AJ?” he asked.

“What is it, Brian?”

“If, at the end of the day, he wasn’t actually into you…”

“…Yeah?”

“Then… who was he talking about with Paul?”

AJ chuckled, sounding tired.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “But I don’t care, either. Besides, Paul was probably just making that up. We were two strangers that attacked him out of nowhere, after all. Couldn’t really blame him for lying.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

When Red finally left their sight, Gator joined the two.

“Glad that freak is gone,” he humphed. “I was worried I might have to drag him outta the house.”

“So… did Joey understand, or…” AJ asked shyly.

“It’s still a work in progress, but at least he’s got no hard feelings towards you anymore.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. Red’s been enough trouble already. I don’t need him to interfere with any more of my relationships.”

“But you gotta admit, he was pretty hot,” meowed Burrito, whom the three had not noticed arriving.

“Burrito!” AJ snapped, but was too exhausted to stay mad at the feline for long. “Ugh, forget it,” he groaned. “Come here, you little slut.”

AJ swiped the espeon up onto his arms and began to pet him.

“This window is boring. Let’s go watch some TV,” Burrito said between his purrs.

“Sure, why not,” AJ replied, and the gang made their way back into the living room.