Giles Brody brings us correspondence from the true protectors of Metropolis.

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From: warden@metropolis.gov

To: mayor@metropolis.gov, chiefofpolice@metropolis.go, perrywhite@dailyplanet.com, clarkkent@dailyplanet.com

Hello there,

We were all delighted with Superman’s recent foiling of Lex Luther’s death beam and were touched by the Man in Steel displaying consideration towards the judiciary system. While we understand that this service is offered for free and with only the best of intentions, it does make it quite difficult for the “alleged” to receive due process. Citing the events of the 6th referenced above, after Superman had deposited Mr. Luther and flown away, arrangements then had to be made to transport Mr. Luther to a police station for booking. As Superman had not provided us with any information during his brief fly over our prison so there was no evidence with which to hold him. 45 minutes later his assistant Otis came to pick him up.

I humbly ask that any, or preferably all, could pass this information onto the man himself. Please stress that we do appreciate what he’s trying to do but if he could maybe not do it the way he’s doing it, that would be great.

Wishing all of you a pleasant day,

Myron Brimbley

Warden

Metropolis Prison

_______________________________________

From: warden@metropolis.gov

To: mayor@metropolis.gov, chiefofpolice@metropolis.gov, perrywhite@dailyplanet.com, clarkkent@dailyplanet.com

Dear sirs,

In reference to the group email I sent on the 8th of this month with regards Superman and his unnecessary dropping off criminals in my prison yard, just wanted to confirm that the email was sent. We’re on a prison email and its the worst so if you didn’t get it, here’s the gist. Superman has been flying unprocessed individuals into my yard with frightening regularity. Don’t get me wrong, the first time he did it was very cute and made for a very exciting day but its gotten to the point where its becoming a problem. At approximately noon today Superman dropped off another alleged criminal into the east wing yard. The east wing is where the disturbed criminals are located and to put it bluntly they made mince meat of the individual. The kid, Billy Fairbanks, 15, had been spotted urinating in a public place in an alley behind a tar pit. Needless to say that this entire incident was extremely regrettable, particularly for the child who was emotionally traumatized on top of the physical trauma they suffered. Needless to say all of this is unacceptable.

Please ensure that Superman gets this ASAP.

Regards,

Myron Brimbley

Warden

Metropolis Prison

_______________________________________

From: warden@metropolis.gov

To: mayor@metropolis.gov, chiefofpolice@metropolis.go, perrywhite@dailyplanet.com, clarkkent@dailyplanet.com

ATTN: Dickheads

Alright, I’ve fucking had enough.

I have tried to be respectful in the past but, quite frankly, fuck that.

It’s bad enough that I’ve lost count of the amount of fucking times I’ve had to call up a police station to come and collect an alleged criminal deposited by this red and blue menace. The hundreds of stressful hours this moronic do gooder has caused for me and my staff is how super villains are born. Guess what fuckhead did not one hour ago? He smashed in the PRISON WALL as he flew out of the yard, causing over 600 inmates from the Extra Deranged Wing to flood out onto Metropolis where they are currently burning and killing anything that isn’t nailed down. Where is Superman? According to the news he’s off in Antartica having himself a think. I hope he finds the answers he looking for, provided the question is “How long do I have to stay up here until I freeze to death?” Meanwhile I’m writing this from underneath a burning sofa that’s just been thrown on top of my car.

Yours, wishing Superman at the very least gets frost bite to his stupid curl that causes it to fall off and plunges him into a unconquerable depression that leads to him fucking off once and for all,

Myron Brimbley

Warden

Formerly Metropolis Prison, presently a smoldering wreck of debris

Giles Brody is currently writing/directing Student Teacher for RTE Storyland.