My likes/dislikes for this exchange were quite simple. Here, I've reproduced them for you:

Likes: robots, angry gay unicorns, Spartans (most), and zombies (all).

Dislikes: elves, shiny pointy objects, and kittens. Yes, KITTENS.

Not one to let a trollesque opportunity slip by quickly, my secret satan decided to multiply my pain by sending...a yoga kitten calendar. I shall curse lookslikeabear daily over the next twelve months as I writhe from its wretched infernal cuteness.

To be fair, I chose "Surprise Me" and got a great laugh from this once I unfurled from the fetal position (look, yoga!) and stopped crying.

Update The second half of the gift arrived today. I don't know how the hell my awesome gifter found this. I didn't even know that angry gay unicorns existed before now.

Thank you, super santa! Happy Halloween!!