Why on earth did Elsa's hand hurt so badly? And was she... shivering? Elsa never shivered!

Her eyes shot open. This was definitely not her bedroom. She seemed to be slouched against the wall of a musty, dimly-lit space. The royal dungeon? What was she doing in the royal-?

Elsa's eyes fell on the far wall. The freshly-rebricked far wall. No. It couldn't be. She glanced down at herself. Elsa was stuck inside an oversized men's dress jacket, and her body was... a very, very different shape.

Elsa screamed. She didn't know what freaked her out more – the fact that she'd become a man, or the fact that the cold was bothering her. It was freezing in here! Was the cold this unpleasant for everyone?

"Hey," said a voice from the other side of the cell door, "what're you yellin' about? Is there a rat in there?"

Oh, thank God, one of the royal guards. Elsa just had to explain the situation to him, and then everything would get sorted out.

She opened her mouth. "I- I-" That was as much as she could manage.

"Don't hurt yourself." Through the bars of the door, the guard gave a condescending smirk. "Hope you're not expectin' us to kill that rat for you. I mean, gosh, you're the queen's big, strong bodyguard. Should be easy for you."

The blood pounded in Elsa's – well, Fritz's – ears. Had that guard just been rude? Elsa hadn't known guards could be rude! If he'd spoken to the queen like that – at least, the queen under normal circumstances – she'd have him fired and blacklisted on the spot!

But, Elsa realized with a pang, the guard wasn't speaking to the queen. He was speaking to Fritz Herman Gudmund. Elsa knew Samson had picked on him, but... did all the guards treat Fritz that way? No wonder he hid in his room all the time. A mix of empathy and pity swelled up in Elsa's stomach. Poor kid. Maybe Elsa had been too-

Wait. The pieces clicked together. If she was in Fritz's body...

If you thought the freedom to look at Elsa's bra at leisure was compensation for any of this, then you really didn't grasp the gravity of the situation. For the record, Fritz had done it in less of a pervy way and more of an "I have boobs?" way. In fact, the only thing it'd taught him was that while in Elsa's body, he apparently couldn't feel any physical attraction to her.

It was surreal. All of a sudden, the most gorgeous thing on the planet had become mundane. Fritz supposed, when you thought about it, people weren't usually attracted to their own bodies, and since he'd been abruptly thrown in here, Fritz was probably now instead attracted to... whatever it was Elsa was into.

"Your Majesty!" Fritz barely had time to tear his eyes away from himself before squadron of guards burst into the room. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

Of course, Fritz's first impulse upon seeing armed guards charge his way was to cringe and throw out his hands. A bolt of magic erupted from his palms with enough force to knock Fritz onto his disorientingly bulbous rear. Now, between the guards and the queen, there rested a wall of icicles, every last one aimed at the guards' faces.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The sound of his own voice startled Fritz – It was just as womanly as usual, of course, but it was a bit raspier now. He tried to unfreeze the ice like he'd seen the real Elsa do a million times, but flailing his arms around only caused more icicles to sprout.

The head guard turned to his comrades. "She's lost control. Quickly! You know what to do!" The squad bolted out the room and down the hall.

Fritz backed himself against the wall, causing a layer of frost to cover it. They knew what to do? What did they know what to do? Had Elsa put some kind of procedure in place in case her powers ever went berserk again? Fritz gulped. He had a feeling getting killed in this body wouldn't send his conscience back to his original one...

But when the guards returned a minute later, they didn't have a collection of torches and pitchforks in tow. Instead, they'd brought another person with them. "She's in here, Your Highness!"

She was in drool-dampened nightgown, and her hair was such a mess, Fritz wondered how it ever managed to fit into pigtails, but there was no mistaking her. Princess Anna hurried into the room, pushing her way past the icicles until she was at Fritz's side.

"Elsa?" Her eyes were wide with fear and concern. "What's going on?"

Fritz dropped to the floor, cradling his knees. "I... uh..." Okay, how could he put this in a way that didn't make him sound like a gibbering loon? "I'm not myself."

Anna looked lost. "What? Are you having, like, some weird side-effect from that love potion? Do we need to get Grand Pabbie?"

"No, no!" Fritz immediately yelped. After everything he'd done, that old troll was liable to strangle Fritz to death given half a chance.

He shut his eyes, thinking as hard as he could. If he was in Elsa's body, then it stood to reason that Elsa was in his body. Well, either that or Fritz's body was a vegetable and Elsa's consciousness was still watching from inside her head somewhere, in which case Fritz was really glad he hadn't peeked under her bra. "Uh... Go get Fritz from the dungeon and bring him here."

"Why?" asked a guard.

"Just do it!"

"Yes, Your Majesty..." The guards obediently ran off, leaving Anna and Fritz alone.

"Elsa, talk to me." Anna knelt down to meet his – her? – eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I- It's- It's complicated," said Fritz, glancing away.

Anna didn't seem too pleased with this answer, but she didn't press the issue. "Alright. Try and hang in there, okay?" She held out her arms.

Fritz's eyes went wide. Oh no. Was she-? She was. Anna and Fritz proceeded to share the most awkward sibling hug in the history of awkward sibling hugs.

Hey, spoke up Fritz's subconscious, remember the Incid-?

Shut up shut up shut up! Fritz screamed at it.

Luckily, before there was time to dwell on things, the bedroom door flung open and the guards returned, dragging Fritz into the room. Or rather, someone who looked an awful lot like Fritz. But he couldn't actually be Fritz – His posture was way too rigid, and he wasn't biting his own nails.

"Uh, thanks, guys," the real Fritz said lamely. "You can go now."

The guards looked more than a little confused, but they didn't question the order. Now there was no one in the bedroom but Elsa (in Fritz's body) standing in front of the door, Fritz (in Elsa's body) huddled against the wall, and Anna (in Anna's body) sitting beside him.

Elsa frowned at the growing number of icicles on the carpet. "Alright, it seems clear that-" Just then, her eyes landed on Fritz's – or rather, her own – face, and her voice trailed off. She spent several long seconds staring.

"Um," said Fritz, "what are y-?"

"I'm beautiful," Elsa said breathlessly. "Why didn't anybody ever tell me?"

"What?" Anna looked back and forth from Fritz to Elsa, her jaw hanging open.

It was apparently taking everything Elsa had not to devour Fritz with her eyes. Had... Had Fritz always been that creepy? Seeing it from the outside, his body looked like it belonged to a particularly skinny twelve-year-old.

Just before she started drooling, Elsa shook herself out of it. "Whoa, that was odd. I don't know what came over me." She clutched her forehead. "Look, Fritz, please tell me you know what's going on."

"Fritz?" Anna pointed a trembling finger at Elsa. "But- But you're Fritz!"

"I... I do know what's going on," said Fritz.

"Good. Then you'd better explain yourself." All of a sudden, Elsa contorted Fritz's face into a far more formidable expression than he'd thought he was capable of. "And if I find out you did this on purpose for some depraved reason-"

"It wasn't me!" yelped Fritz. "It was Mossy! He came back to brainwash you into loving me again, but I told him I'd learned my lesson and I wasn't gonna side with him and stuff, and then he got mad and body-swapped us with the Heart's magic!" Fritz huddled closer to Anna, another layer of icicles forming around them. Despite not actually being his sister, Fritz found Anna's presence a comfort.

"Wait a minute." So Anna, of course, immediately threw him off of her. "Let me get this straight. You-" She pointed to Fritz. "-are Fritz in Elsa's body, and you-" She pointed to Elsa "-are Elsa in Fritz's body."

They both nodded.

Anna's face grew so red that for a second, Fritz was seriously worried her head was about to explode. The next second, she was doubled over on the floor.

"Anna!" Elsa ran to her side, looking as concerned as she did annoyed.

"This is the best thing ever!" Anna's ribcage was shaking with alarming fervor.

Elsa scowled at her. "It's not funny, Anna. Fritz can't control my powers! If he gets too upset, he could make another eternal winter!"

"I could?" Of course, the instant the thought registered in Fritz's brain, the room started filling with snow.

"Calm down, calm down!" Elsa immediately pushed her way through the icicles and brought her hands to his shoulders. "Everything's going to be fine." She started gently massaging them. "Just breathe."

The shoulder rub did help, actually. After a little bit, the indoor snowstorm died down. Phew, they weren't in for eternal winter round two after all. Fritz supposed being trapped in a woman's body just wasn't as emotionally distressing as-

Wait. A thought struck Fritz like a bolt of lightning to his stomach. Right now, it was taking all his willpower too keep the ice from erupting out his bare hands, and even then, the breath of everyone in the bedroom was clearly visible. Is this what Elsa had put up with her entire life? No way. Fritz had known she'd had trouble controlling her powers, but he hadn't realized it'd felt like... this.

"Alright, alright." Anna took some deep breaths. "I'm done. Sorry, I know this is serious. Fritz has had, like, zero training with your magic." She made a more solemn face. "He could really hurt someone... but at least he finally gets to be inside you!" For about two seconds. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha-" Anna doubled back onto the floor.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Don't be gauche, Anna."

"Um, Elsa..." Fritz shifted in place. He could feel his cheeks growing hot – which was still way below a regular person's body temperature. "You can stop massaging my shoulders now."

"Oh, right! Sorry!" Elsa immediately drew her hands away. "They're just so... soft." She gazed at them wistfully.

"Alright, I'm – ha ha ha ha – I'm done." Finally, Anna managed to pull herself to her feet and form a coherent sentence. "I'm done laughing." She stared at them in silence for a moment. "Ohmigod I need to show you two to Rapunzel! She'll die!"

"No!" Elsa and Fritz yelled in unison.

"Okay, okay, sheesh." Anna folded her arms. "You guys are no fun..."

"We can't tell anyone about this," said Elsa. "My reputation was sullied enough from the love potion ordeal. And we're not-" She gave Fritz a pointed look. "-going to do anything with our current bodies that the bodies' real owners wouldn't want us to."

"But, um..." Fritz's eyes met the floor, his cheeks reddening.

Elsa's brow creased. "What?"

"What if one of us has to..." Fritz glanced away, then muttered, "...use the bathroom?"

"Hold it in," said Elsa.

"But-"

"Hold. It. In."

Fritz bowed his head. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"Alright, alright." Anna let out a heavy sigh. "Well, if you're both so embarrassed that you don't want to tell anyone about this, how do you plan on changing back?"

"We'll have to go get Grand Pabbie again," said Elsa, rising to her feet. "In fact, at this rate, we probably ought to just keep him at the castle until Mossy's stopped." She turned to Anna. "But Kristoff's not back yet. Do you know the way to the Valley yourself?"

"Hmm... No, I don't think- Oh yeah!" Suddenly, Anna's face lit up. "Kristoff drew me a map once. Be right back!" She scurried out the door, leaving Fritz and Elsa behind in the bedroom.

Elsa turned to Fritz, who was still cowering against the wall, his circle of icicles growing gradually larger. "Looks like it's just you and me." She wet her lips.

"Um..." Fritz shrank. "Hey, Elsa, not to be rude, but, err, you're acting kind of... off. You don't think Mossy put another love spell on you, did he?"

Elsa laughed, then took a step towards him. "I don't think so. I'm just not used to all your teenage boy hormones." There was that look again, like her eyes were eating up every inch of Fritz's – or rather, her own – face. "I'm so gorgeous, though. I can't get over it." Her – or rather, Fritz's – cheeks had grown bright crimson. Honestly, Fritz wished his face could look a bit less boyish, but still... the way it was gazing at him. It wasn't attractive, exactly, but Fritz was definitely getting butterflies in his – err, Elsa's – stomach. Man, this was confusing...

"Have you always felt this way?" Elsa fluttered her eyelashes, but seeing as she was currently male, it didn't have quite the desired effect. "How do you not spend every waking moment of your life fawning over me?"

"Well..."

Suddenly, Elsa pushed her way past the icicles. She knelt down to meet Fritz's eyes, then put her hands on the far wall, pinning him. "Hey, Fritz?"

"Y-Yeah?" Fritz flinched – His sweat was freezing to his skin. Apparently, the hotter he got, the colder he got.

"I know this is just the hormones talking..." The gap between their faces was shrinking. "...but would it be too forward of me to-?"

She was cut off by a deafening explosion.

"What was that?" Elsa dropped everything and ran to the bedroom window. Honestly, Fritz wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

But the next second, Fritz looked out the window himself and realized he had more important things worry about. Wacky romantic antics generally don't take priority over a mushroom cloud of dark magic swirling over the horizon.

"W-What?"

Before they had time to react, the cloud burst open, shooting towards the castle island like a big, black tornado. Fritz and Elsa hardly had time to brace themselves before the whole world went black...

...but when it came back into focus, nothing had changed.

Fritz blinked. "Um, what just-?"

"Anna!" Elsa bolted out the door. Fritz ran after her, only to immediately find his face squished against the rug. Oh yeah. He was wearing heels.

There was a frantic search of Anna's bedroom, but it was empty. Elsa ended up running downstairs to the castle entrance hall, Fritz trailing behind her. He only face-planted five or six more times before reaching the bottom step.

"Did everyone see that wave?" Elsa yelled at the top of her lungs, but her voice was drowned out.

Quite a large crowd had gathered before the palace doors, and not a single one of them looked particularly happy. There were maids pulling each other's hair, guards jousting with their spears, and even cooks battling with frying pans – Apparently inspired by last night's debacle.

At one end of the mob, Rapunzel had raised her own pan high, shrieking, "I want a divorce! I want a divorce!"

"Fine by me!" Eugene yelled from the other end. "I hate you! I hate everything! Grrrrrraaaaaagh!"

Nearby, Olaf was hopping towards one of the maids by his torso, pointing an accusing twig-arm. "I bet you stole my butt last night! Admit it! Admit it!"

"I'll never give it back!" the maid cackled. "It's mine, all mine! Mwah ha ha ha ha!"

Near the front doors, Kristoff and Sven had apparently returned to the castle just in time to get a faceful of black magic.

"I was lying before!" screamed Kristoff. "Reindeer aren't better than people! In fact, they're- they're worse than people!"

Then he did the goofy Sven-voice in that weird little ventriloquism attempt of his: "Oh yeah? Well I've always thought that reindeer smelled better than people!"

Kristoff gasped. "You take that back!"

"Kristoff!" spoke up Elsa, her jaw hanging open. "What on earth are you doing? Sven can't actually talk. You're only arguing with yourself!"

Kristoff spun towards her, snarling. "Don't you judge me!"

"Hey, look, everyone!" yelled a random mob member. "It's the queen and her dumb bodyguard!"

"She's the one who nearly froze us all to death!" yelled another.

"Yeah!" added another. "And that bodyguard is highly unqualified for his position!"

"Let's get 'em!"

The mob took a collective step forward.

"N-Now wait just a minute!" Elsa and Fritz took a collective step back. "You can't really-"

"Stop!" A voice rang out over the mob. Every head turned towards a certain redhead.

"Oh, Anna, thank goodness." Elsa let out a sigh of relief. "Please tell me you're not-"

"There's something you guys should know," said Anna, pushing her way to the head of the mob. She pointed a finger at Elsa and Fritz. "Those two magically swapped places! Fritz is in Elsa's body and Elsa's in Fritz's body!"

"Well, we're going to beat both of them up anyways, so it doesn't really matter," said a mob member.

"Oh yeah, good point."

The mob took another step forward.

"W-What's happened to everyone?" Elsa huddled closer to Fritz. He wasn't sure he was comfortable with her head being so near his chest, but seeing as they were about to die painfully, he supposed he'd let it slide. "Did Mossy do this? Why aren't we affected?"

"I- I don't know." Fritz's mind was racing. Why would Mossy make the Heart do something like this? It was like Arendelle was... ripping itself apart from pure hatred for Mossy's amusement. Oh.

No sooner had the thought clicked in Fritz's mind than the mob started to chant:

"Draining the love, draining the love, draining the love, draining the love..."

There was nothing Fritz could hug Elsa tighter as the crowd closed in on them.

"Draining the love, draining the love, draining the love, draining the love..."

When his palms brushed against her, Elsa shivered. Oh, right, Fritz still had her ice powers. But... he couldn't control them the way Elsa could. If Fritz used them right now, all these people could be hurt!

"The magic Heart is spreading hatred-"

"-Draining the love, draining the love, draining the love, draining the love-"

"-All throughout poor Arendelle."

On the other hand, if Fritz and Elsa died, these people could spend the rest of their lives as extremely hateful zombies...

The mob was mere feet away from the foot of the stairs now, chanting with alarming speed:

"I send enchantments of evil,

Over your moms, over your sons,

Over your dads, over your dogs.

I cast this curse on everyone!

To make you weak! To make you shriek!

To make your fists clench as you shake.

Won't make you nice, won't make you meek.

You're going to scream, you're going to quake!

I! Send! This! Curse! Down! From! A-bove!

Draining the love."

And at the head of the mob was Anna, giving Elsa a look Fritz had thought he'd see Anna giving her.

"Once I called you sister.

Once I thought the chance to sing duets,

Was all I ever wanted."

"I send the harsh truths you must hear!

I say what all are thinking now!"

Anna brought her hands to her ears.

"It's even now,

Stuck in my head like a big blister.

You just do not know how old it gets.

By your dumb song, I am haunted!"

"We think your song is overdone!

We all agree, all over town!"

She threw her hands in the air.

"So many songs!

All these songs no one remembers.

Well, it's 'bout time that you knew,

The people who sing our soundtrack

Include more than just lone you!"

The crowd stomped their feet in agreement, chanting:

"I send my spells of deepest dark,

To fill the blackness in your hearts,

On every child, on every spouse,

Until you tear yourselves apart!

You're! Going! To! Shake! You're! Going! To! Shove!

Draining the love."

Anna outstretched a hand, accepting a frying pan from Rapunzel.

"You who I called sister,

It's time someone dissed your huge ego."

"You're! Going! To! Shake! You're! Going! To! Shove!"

Anna held the pan up menacingly, took a breath, then bellowed:

"I hate Let It Goooooooooo!"

"Draining the love."

"Draining the loooooooooove!"

Elsa brought a hand to her heart, her eyes wide and watering. "I- I know you don't mean that, Anna," she said faintly. "The Heart's just making you say hurtful things."

Anna let out an indignant laugh, then sang:

"You who I called sister,

Why's it always on the radio?

By this song I'm haunted!"

"I! Send! This! Curse! Down! From! A-bove!"

"And this prob-ly is petty,

But why do I not sing the big solo?

I'm the main hero!

And that is why – I. Haaaaate. Leeeeeeeet. Iiiiiiiiit. Go!"

Fritz and Elsa spun around, but the palace servants were blocking them from the head of the stairs. They were surrounded.

"Draining the love."

"Draining the love!"

If... If Fritz didn't unleash Elsa's magic right this second... Anna was going to hit them with that frying pan. And something told Fritz it'd be hard enough to give them more than just a concussion this time.

"I always...

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill haaaaaaaaaaaaaate Leeeeeeeeeeet Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Disclaimer: I had the idea for the whole "a magic wave makes everyone hateful" plotline in my head way before Once Upon a Time did it. So really, when you think about it, they copied off me.