AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm trying to work on the time between writing chapters. I just get pre-occupied with real life stuff that I kinda forget this exists, then remember in two weeks. I'm also trying to give it a more cohesive story, because "HA HA SO RANDOM" humor gets old fast, but don't worry, I'll make sure I keep the SBB memes and that whole shitpost feel, so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts. Am I taking it too seriously? Is the whole thing too much of a memefest? Let me know! Anyway, ON TO THE SHOW!

Chapter 4: Sick Set of Wheels

We be cruisin' down the desert road real chill.

Our destination? New York City. Back in the day people and their families would come from their homelands to find new opportunities in the Big Apple, and that's what we planned on doing. The Bros. had a few friends over there that could help us out too.

Today is the 3 day of this whole ordeal. The first day (a Thursday) was the most eventful, being everything from the parade thing to MatPat dying. We slept in the car that night, and it was #uncomfyboiz". The second day was just us driving and chatting it up, and we slept in the car again. Still #notcoolboiz". Today so far has just been putting in the miles.

"Oh my god, this car has shit handling, and it's slow as hell!" said Alex in the drivers seat.

"We bein' #saltboiz today, Alex?" responded Jirard.

"No this car just freaking sucks, not to mention how long this whole thing is taking. It'll be days before we get to New York. It's our second full day on the road, it's almost 11PM, and we're still only in Nevada!"

Jirard responded, "You're right, dude. The subreddit is already blowing up with people upset and asking why there haven't been any new Beard Bros. for the past 3 days.

They were right, like always. This would take months. We needed to stop somewhere and do something about this. We needed to get a new ride. But where?

Suddenly we saw a shining chance of hope. It was a big lit-up sign.

"Welcome to Fabulous LAS VEGAS"

This was it. This was where we had to go. I felt it in my gut. Surely we could get a sick set of wheels here!

"Tight," all of us 3 said simultaneously, as we saw the bright city in front of us.

"So, where do we start?" I asked the Bros.

After thinking for a minute, Jirard perked up as he had an idea. "We gotta take that big biscuit risk," he said.

He was right. We drove our car to the nearest casino, and parked it right outside.

"This'll be quick, Alex," Jirard said, "Shigeru and I will go inside, make a few hundred thousand clams, and come right back. You can just wait in the car."

"Alright, dude, that's cool," Alex responded.

Jirard and I entered the casino. We had $200 to spend. We planned on multiplying that by at least 1,000. Unfortunately, that's not the way things turned out.

A bastard by the name of Jimmy Scringe cheated us out of all of our money. We left the casino with nothing. To make matters even worse, when we went outside, Alex and the car were gone.

"Well isn't this fantastic!" Jirard yelled in anger, "NOW WHAT DO WE DO!?"

"Look, let's just find a place to stay for the night, and figure this out in the morning." I proposed.

Needless to say, Jirard agreed, and we ran into a small, run down motel, obviously meant for one-night-stands, but it would have to do. The cost for one night was $20, but we were flat broke. Jirard sold his #PERFECTDICK t-shirt and jeans, and I sold my "Frog in a Car" t-shirt and sweatpants. We were thankfully able to keep our undies, socks, and sneakers.

We stayed there for the night, and watched The Big Bang Theory on the room's TV.

The next morning we checked out, and went outside, still in our undies. Unsure of where to go next, we just decided to walk down the street, in an attempt to find Alex. But we soon found out that we didn't need to look for him.

A school bus pulled up to us on the side of the road, and to our surprise, out stepped our friend, Alex Ficiane. He was wearing a sick jacket, had a sweet hat and sunglasses, and basically looked like a straight-up pimp.

"Hey guys," Alex said to us, "Are you familiar with The Magic School Bus?"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Jirard said in disbelief, "HOW?"

Alex began telling his story:

"I was sitting in the car, when I saw some really shady figures walking into an alley way. Still a cop, the perfect dick that I am, I decided to pursue them from a safe distance so they wouldn't notice me. It was really irritating and wasn't a fun mechanic. When they reached their destination, I confronted them, and realized they were actually running a pretty tight gang, so I joined. Over the course of the night, I worked my way up the ranks, and became one of their top members. I became acquainted with the gang's leader, who I have with my right now."

Out stepped a red-headed women in a polka dotted dress.

"Gentlemen," Alex continued, "Meet Miss Valerie Felicity Frizzle, 3rd grade teacher by day, gang leader by night. She's a huge Beard Bros. fan, so she was ecstatic when she found out I made it up the ranks of her gang in one night. I told her about our predicament, and she said she'd happily give us her custom built school bus, The Magic School Bus. She said it's fine because she's currently working on another vehicle with some guy named Doc Brown. Oh, she did say that she'd like a picture with both of us."

"Oh sure, anything to return the favor," Jirard said.

I took the picture of Jirard, Alex, and Miss Frizzle," and handed it to her.

"It's the least we could do," Jirard said.

"Have fun with my bus you boys! You better make some money and keep your show going! Don't let my gift to you two be in vain!" Miss Frizzle said as she disappeared into the shadows.

The Bros. and I hopped in the bus and sat down. Alex held up a briefcase and opened it up for us. There was $1,000 in it. He said it was another contribution to our cause from Miss Frizzle. What a generous woman.

"We should probably fill up on gas before we start our maiden voyage," Jirard said.

"HA!" said Alex "This doesn't run on fossil fuels! It runs on MAAAAAAGIIIIIIIC! Strap in boys! This is going to be one bumpy take-off!"

We put on our seat belts and got ready. Alex started up the bus and slammed his foot on the pedal. The bus dashed forward at 100mph, before it started to rise up in the air majestically.

As we ascended, we couldn't help but notice a shadowy figure on the ground, watching us taking off, stomping on the ground in frustration. We dismissed it as an ordinary civilian, upset that he didn't have a sick, flying bus like us.

"I couldn't help but notice your apparel, or lack thereof," said Alex, "You guys are just in luck. Look on the seat behind you."

There were two pimp suits, just like Alex's. Jirard and I put them on. We looked tight as heck.

We were soaring through the sky at a speed rivaling that of an ordinary passenger plane.

Next Stop: New York City.