A meltdown of epic proportions in Chicago has led to Jay Cutler being benched in favor of Jimmy Clausen. Despite being on the Bears roster now, nobody is better equipped to celebrate this momentous occasion than us. Pickles starting again is worthy of an epic poem, so that's just what we're going to do.

The ballad of Jimmy Clausen

By James Dator

The future was bright, his hands were small -- and in Carolina there was hope once and for all. A quarterback borne of skill and toil would prove Marty Hurney has struck draft oil. In the year twenty-ten fans became ready, the luck of the Irish had us all feeling heady.

It mattered not that he laid an egg in preseason. The best quarterbacks do, or so we did reason. Pick after pick some wondered what was the matter, while fleeting few tried to silence the chatter.

"Look at Montana, Steve Young and Brett Favre. All Hall of Famers, and struggled as hard."

Jimmy got worse, Steve Smith became mad, and grizzled John Fox became grumpy old dad. The team fell apart, but one man was there -- the small-handed quarterback with platinum-blond hair.

Tickets were placed on windshields with care, free to those fans who were brave to dare. Matt Moore was concussed, otherwise he would start, and soon the Panthers became the smelliest of farts.

"I can't bear to watch this trash anymore. Jerry is cheap and he doomed us all."

The draft came along and Cam was there, still remained the quarterback with platinum-blond hair.

Young Clausen refused to give up his number, whether petty or jealous so began grumbles.

"HE NEEDS TO GO!" The fans all did say, "This small-handed quarterback just gets in the way!"

Once released he bounced, searching for a team. Left only to tweet about some Joe Jeans. What team would believe in young forlorn Jimmy? Why the orange and blue of the great Windy City.

The Bears were his home, and oh what a racket! This team did believe he could be their new backup. No-one believed he could be number one, until barbs about Cutler became audible hums.

Trestman was desperate, his job hung in the balance -- but here was old Jimmy, with his same talents. Will things work out in Chicago for Pickles? Probably not, and that's what gives us the giggles.