Like all reasonable human beings, we interpret snowy weather as Mother Nature's subliminal message to do one simple thing: eat cheese fondue . But before you dive into a big gooey pot of, say, this version with Gruyère and Cider, or this version with Champagne (or this recipe , or this one —clearly we're somewhat obsessed), it's worth knowing a bit of fondue etiquette. What, you thought the classic cold-weather dish was easy, casual, straightforward? Remember, fondue hails from Switzerland (and/or France), and—like most things Swiss and/or French—it involves some intricate politesse . To avoid forever being labeled uncouth, please follow these rules:

Don't stir counterclockwise : Traditionalists say you must stir clockwise or in a figure-eight pattern to keep the cheese homogenized until you reach the very bottom.

Do twirl, twirl, twirl : Keep the table tidy by twirling those drips, drabs, and flyaway strands of melted cheese around your cube of bread. Please, no tapping, scraping, or—obviously—double-dipping, unless you want to give your Swiss host a heart attack. Don't worry, the cheese will take care of that.

Don't drink anything but these 3 beverages: Sip only white wine, kirsch, or a tisane of herbal tea with your fondue meal. According to Swiss lore, any other drink—be it water, juice, or beer—will cause the melted cheese to coagulate and form a giant ball in your stomach, leaving you with debilitating indigestion. Yes, it sounds silly, but do you really want to risk it?

Do make some noise: Feel free to scrape, clang, clank, and use whatever means necessary to dislodge the crust of browned cheese at the bottom of your empty fondue pot. Called " la religieuse ," the shards of crisped cheese have a toasty crunch and are considered a delicacy.

Don't follow cheese fondue with chocolate fondue: A meal of Switzerland's two most famous food exports seems like an obvious progression, but the two together might send you directly into a cholesterol coma. Instead, end your meal with fresh pineapple: The fruit's acidity is a bright counterpoint to the creamy cheese, while its enzymes help you digest more quickly.

Hungry? Fuel your fromage fantasies with our fondue slideshow .