Don La Greca, co-host of Michael Kay’s sports-talk radio show in ESPN Radio 98.7 FM in New York, had some things to get off his chest after the Giants’ loss to the Lions in Monday night. Here are those things:

La Greca’s thesis here — I’m speculating, because he gets in the weeds a little — is that the Giants’ offensive line is not doing a good job in front of quarterback Eli Manning, and that he doesn’t need nerdy-nerd Fancy Stats types to tell him that. Maybe a transcription will help. La Greca’s lines are in bold.

“Everybody’s coming up with these, ‘Oh, well this offensive lineman, only 27 percent of the time was Eli pressured from his left side on Monday nights when Sean McDonough is the announcer.’ Stop. Stop creating some narrative that everybody knows football better than somebody else. Your eyeballs tell the story. The offensive line sucks. Period. That’s my stat. You want a stat? You want Sabremetrics? @DonLagreca tweeted last night, or said on ‘The Michael Kay Show,’ ‘offensive line stinks.’ That’s the stat. Gimme a break. That’s what we’re gonna do, Michael, we’re gonna be like accountants now in baseball?

“Was it the Pythagorean theorem? [starts using a strange lisp] ‘The Pythagorean theorem thays [says] … that their record thould be 1-1. That’s what the Pythagorean theorem thays, that the Gianth offenthive line, that their record should be 2-0. Duhhhhhhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhh.”

And here Kay tries to get a word in: “When I talk Pythagorean theorem, I sound like that?”

“No, the people that trust the Pythagorean theorem. The people that listen to the Pythagorean theorem. The people that sit there at their desk, that only know the naked body through National Geographic, that do the math to come up with the Pythagorean theorem. That’s what they sound like: [un-transcribable gibberish suggesting that La Greca thinks such people are imbeciles].”

About all this Pythagorean theorem stuff: It’s a mathematical formula about the three sides of a right triangle. You probably erased it from your mind after that eighth-grade test. But one must assume La Greca actually is talking about Pythagorean expectation or projection, a formula first proposed by baseball stat overlord Bill James that measures how many games a team should have won based on the number of runs they scored and allowed. Football Outsiders also has applied this idea — a measure of how lucky or unlucky a team is — to football. The Pythagorean name stems from the fact that the sports-related formulas bear a resemblance to the math formula.

Anyway, La Greca continues:

“IT’S FOOTBALL. I’VE BEEN WATCHING IT FOR 40 YEARS. FORTY. FORTY YEARS. That’s one of the worst offensive lines I’ve ever seen. And they have not gone this long without scoring 20 points since ’77-’78, WHEN JOE PISARCIK WAS THEIR QUARTERBACK. ‘PATERSON PLANK’ JOE. SO TAKE THAT WITH YOUR PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM. THE JOE PISARCIK THEOREM. YOU’RE DEAD.”

Indeed, I am dead.

Anyway, the Giants have failed to score 20 points in eight straight games dating back to last season (including a wild-card loss to the Packers). With “Paterson Plank” Joe Pisarcik at quarterback in 1977, New York failed to top 20 points in nine straight. The next season, the Giants scored fewer than 20 points in each of their final 11 games of the season, one of which being this one:

In the spirit of fully fleshing out La Greca’s remarks, Pisarcik got his “Paterson Plank” nickname from a road adjacent to the old Giants Stadium that was filled with warehouses, strip clubs and the like. It was bestowed upon the humble Pisarcik to contrast him with the Jets’ much more glamorous “Broadway” Joe Namath (Pisarcik had a 9-21 record as a starter over eight NFL seasons).

Anyway, Pisarcik now has a theorem named after him.

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