…right as I was trying to get to sleep and my upstairs neighbor’s bass thumped. I’m lucky I remember, because it was a wonderful idea.

I split my people chow into two foods.

See I realized that the drink tasted awful because the masa (the main ingredient) was not mixing well, and basically my drink was becoming more like a very watered-down dough than a drink. Needless to say, I didn’t even finish that batch; that’s when I began cooking it.

Then I started making it into a sort of cornbread/grits type food. This would’ve been delicious doused in pancake syrup or peanut butter or some such other delicious topping, but doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose of this “perfectly balanced” diet?

So last night, I made the decision to split the masa, and make that into a bread (it’s called “Tortilla Perfection” for a reason- tortillas are just masa and water), and mixed most of the other ingredients into a drink.

The result is (hopefully going to be, once I stop fucking up the dough) a drink that basically tastes like…vanilla? I don’t know, it tastes like vanilla and has the consistency of milk. Is vanilla milk a thing? I’m lactose intolerant, so I don’t know. And basically some tortillas.

So here’s how I did it:

Tortillas:

345g masa harina

20g whey protien (I think this caused some issues today and acted like yeast. I’ll do some modifications once I get some more masa and let you know how to do it successfully)

25g soybean oil

4g salt

Now, note I didn’t use all of the oil. That’s because I’m using 30g of it in the frying pan when I make the tortillas. It gives it a better flavour and keeps it from sticking to the pan.

Drink

All of the GNC shit

the remaining whey protein(35g)

the Cal/Mag

I’ve been cutting the potassium citrate down to 2 or 3 grams, because there’s almost enough in just the GNC shit and I don’t want to get too much potassium

Choline (I bought tablets and I’ve been crushing them on the bottom of a beer bottle, that’s a pain in the ass)

I stuck this in a tupperware container and shook it vigorously to mix, then added a bunch of water. It made enough to not-quite-fill a half-liter water bottle, and tasted amazing.

My issues today