I can’t lie. It’s been a really surprising and wonderful experience. Lia has been able to transition in a gradual and thoughtful way, on her terms.

It wasn’t until I got her report card in the second grade that I realized she decided to tell the school she was ready to change her name. The report said, “Lia, otherwise known as Liam, did really well in class this year.”

That’s part of the beauty of Lia’s story: Everyone was able to give her the room to figure it out for herself, and to let her make her own decisions. Last fall, we officially changed her name and even changed her birth certificate.

She became enamored with wearing dress-up clothes before preschool. I remember her being very interested in wearing her sisters’ clothing and asking, “Why can’t I dress up like Catie and Molly?” At the time, we answered, “Well, because you are a boy... and they are girls.”

We didn’t know if it was a phase and we were not overly concerned. Lia was a cute kid with a strong personality and we were not afraid of letting her explore her fashion options. My husband, Boyd, and I had considered maybe she would be gay or effeminate, but we didn’t panic and we were OK to let her become whoever she wanted to be.

We just wanted her to be a happy and healthy child!

We moved from Indiana to New Hampshire when Lia was 4. She was still wearing boys’ clothes and playing with trucks through preschool, but she really wanted girl things. We started buying her Barbie dolls and girl’s costumes.

For awhile, Lia was happy wearing pink dress shirts outside and princess costumes at home. Family and friends were curious, but no one made us feel judged. However, It was when she started kindergarten, that we saw the dysphoria start, the depression and anger. It was clear she couldn't be comfortable anymore.

Lia is the most mild-mannered, peaceful warrior, a deep thinking, soul-searching child. The minute she begins talking, it’s just pure love. But we could see the frustration building in her.

She would say desperately, “Why can’t I just be a girl, Mommy?” At just 5 years old, she would look in the mirror in the bathroom and say, “I am a girl in my head and heart.”