Have you heard about the next planned “Survivor” show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary

school classroom for 1 school year. Each business person will be provided

with a copy of his/her school district’s curriculum, and a class of 30-40 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three

with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three

students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance,

with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create

their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle

misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals,

correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report

cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent

conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to

monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red]

drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum

development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and

strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to

take the SOLS tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let

it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social

studies into the program. They must also ensure that the students have 200

minutes of Physical Education in a ten-day period. They must maintain

discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate

students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or

learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the

weekends, but with their new salary, they will not be able to afford it.

There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and

lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of

their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student

restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials

before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit

of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at

their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this Season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their

job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy and to the ones that

know it is hard.

Denise Nathanson

Principal

Emma C. Smith Elementary

I don’t have an “After” picture because they all quit.

Dora