It was God's love that I felt, perhaps, throughout my entire life that brought me to the Convent. The very moment I decided to come to the Convent, I felt as if I had wings and could fly. Personally, I consider monasticism to be the most genuine thing there can ever be in life, and the longer you stay in the Convent, the better you can see that you should devote yourself to God. Of course, you will run into some resistance: your ego will rebel against it all the time but you are fully aware that there is only one way, and the boundaries you have set are constantly dwindling. As I used to say, there are certain moments when you feel as if you are a rod in God's hands, a God's rod. You may even be unable to explain this, perhaps, because you are frightened and you understand that it’s going to be painful but on the other hand, you want it to happen because God reveals to you something radically different from what you have learned so far. When you are in the Convent (at least, this is true for me), the Lord allows me to feel such unity that I could not be able to feel in the world. I did feel it but here it is both completely different and much more profound... I don't know how to explain this, Father, you simply have to feel it.