Daily Show: Al-Qaeda is now a brand with franchises, like Quiznos Mike Aivaz and Muriel Kane

Published: Friday February 15, 2008



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Print This Email This The Daily Show turned its attention on Thursday to the subject of terrorism, with Jon Stewart suggesting that even though Americans may have stopped paying attention to Iraq, "al Qaeda is far from giving up." Stewart pointed in particular to "documents seized from the terrorist group's lairs [which] include numerous application forms for potential recruits, with questions like 'What is your alias' and ... 'Are you willing to drastically relocate?'" He then turned to resident expert John Hodgman for insight on the anomaly of al Qaeda application forms. "Of course they have application forms," Hodgman replied. "Annual reports, March Madness pools, secret Santas ... well very secret Santas." "You have to understand," Hodgman went on. "Al-Qaeda is now a sprawling multi-national organization just like any other They need systems in place to keep up the quality of terrorism we've come to expect. You know the motto: 'With a name like al-Qaeda, it can't possibly be good.'" "You're talking about al-Qaeda like it's a brand," Stewart objected. "Sure, a brand with franchises," responded Hodgman. "There's a corporate umbrella overseeing an affiliation of independent owner-operators committed to their mission of doom. It's really the Quiznos model." Hodgman then offered suggestions for the aspiring al-Qaeda recruit, taken from "Hodgman's 5 Habits of Highly Explosive People." He emphasized sending a resume that will "emphasize the dislikes" and opening up at the interview about "who are some of your favorite scapegoats -- and don't just say the Jews." Dress is also important, because "you never want to walk in there looking like you have something to live for," and finally you should "always send a thank-you note." The following video is from Comedy Central's The Daily Show with John Stewart, broadcast on February 14, 2008.



