How Bob became Momentous:

Bob was always a guy that liked making jokes and being around fun, interesting people. He kept in with circles that enjoyed his company and whose company he also enjoyed. But nothing lasts forever and Bob’s personification of funny became diluted over the years. It got to be so bad th at he would gesture as if he tripped over or ran into things by accident just to get a laugh out of his friends. Bob didn’t know what to do to try and remedy the situation, until one day on the internet he came across a comic strip that sparked his imagination. He would stage a gag with a mutual friend and pull a deceiving prank on his friends that would show he still had the courageous, comedic relief he once squandered on fart and dick jokes.

“No way this could go wrong”, he thought.

So the day of the prank came and Bob tried to hold back his excitement while hanging out with his friends. They did what they usually did on a Saturday night: Hung out at Greg’s house, played video games, drank immensely, and decided to go to Waffle House. Bob contained his glee as he drove his drunk fellows to the local hangout. As they emerged from his car, as per usual, he saw Allen in the back of the Waffle House with his uniform wrinkled and untucked. Allen smiled and nodded to Bob, signaling that he was ready to make this prank work. Bob followed his three friends, Greg, Jess, and Madeline, into a booth near the front of the eatery and nestled into the outside seat. A few people were talking to among themselves or others around the occupied seats as the group waited to be served with many different cultures and races mingling together at midnight. Allen emerged from the back room with a grin and another signaling nod to Bob.

Bob sat, his hands in his pockets, waiting for the right time to begin as Allen walked up to greet the group.

“Hello, my name’s Allen and I will be your server tonight. Can I start anyone off with a beverage?”

Greg slurred, “I’ll take a Vanilla Coke. Extra Vanilla pretty please?”

“But of course,” Allen continued “And for you, Miss?”

“I will take a water, no ice.”

“And for you sir?” Allen asked Bob.

Bob stood up, climbed the table, and from his pocket, drew a large knife. His friends gawked and squealed as he began to fling the blade around in random directions. He then regained his composure and pointed the knife at Allen, poking it at his name-tag.

“I want a goddamn chocolate milk” Bob yelled, “With whipped fucking cream!”

Allen trembled a small nod, signifying he understood the attacker’s demand. As Allen turned around to race to the kitchen, Bob began to dance on the table and sing about how lovely the snow was in the month of June. He thought that this would totally impress his friends if they though this gag was real and turned out to be fake. He was yelling nonsense and dancing on the table in front of everyone as they stared. And at this momentous occasion for Bob, the pinnacle of his ruse, he felt a slight disfiguring blow strike his kneecap. The sound of a hard crash came immediately after the bullet exited the window near the group, but not before it made it’s way through Bob’s leg from a gun another customer had pulled. The screams became more prominent as Bob seemed to lose his footing on the table, slipping off balance from his other leg. The knife was still in Bob’s hand as he faulted on his axis and began to topple over the table, onto the floor. Unfortunately for Bob and his joke with Allen, one of the customer’s happened to be a black pimp nicknamed Handsome Dick 2000 and he wasn’t in the mood for jokes that evening.

Bob felt as though he was falling forever, that was until he became very familiar with how sharp the blade felt when it fount itself lodged into his sternum. His friends were already fleeing the scene as Bob started to gasp for air. Allen had called the police when he heard the gunshot, but Bob couldn’t hang on that long. With his dying coughs, Bob was able to get out a few last words to be remembered by:

“Ha…Ha…Ha…”

The news would later claim that Bob was a fanatic customer that demanded an ice-cream sundae with sprinkles and that the pimp, Richie D. Heathensberg, became a local hero who stood up for justice. They commended Richie for taking action against the hostile attacker and say that it was the lunatic’s momentous act that would allow for a “man from the streets” to rise up and defend his fellow brethren.

And that is how Bob became Momentous.