Ive talked to family members and a close friend about this, but I'd like to see an unbiased outsider's opinion. I will try to be as fair as possible.

Tim and I have been together for 10 years. I was always the ambitious one and he was not--but that didn't bother me. He was always incredibly loyal and devoted to only me. We have very similar political and religious beliefs. We get along well and are truly best friends. And I have always found him super attractive. We have a great sex life and generally get along.

While I was in grad school, I had a kid [now 6M]. Tim has been a great dad and we co-parent well. Tim really took care of a lot of domestic things while I was in school. When I started my career, he transitioned to doing most all domestic things (all cooking, most cleaning) and he takes care of our son when our son is not in school.

However, I've been asking him to please get a job or go back to school for about a year. Our son is in school. We only have the one kid. Tim spends a lot of hours playing video games. I've been feeling like I'm nothing but a paycheck and sex. I told him I would pay for him to finish a degree, or he could work part time, or he could work full time--it was up to him. Even though I make good money, we're barely able to save because we live in a high COL area, and between health insurance, student loans, taxes, etc., our take home isn't what it could be. He said he would...but he hasn't.

I even have a friend who offered to get him a job where he would be getting paid a lot more than expected. I drafted a resume and asked him to just fill in the parts I wasn't sure about.

He has gone back and forth between "nope, I'm not getting a job at all" and "I will on my own time." But he won't give me a timeline. I've tried asking, I've tried pleading, I've tried having serious conversations, I've tried threats. Nothing works. He just won't do it. Sure, I could leave him--but then I would get to pay alimony and child support, which I can't afford. And while I'm totally on board with paying child support, I think it's BS that I would have to pay him alimony when I've been begging him to work and he is an able-bodied adult with no real reason not to at this point.

I'm not perfect either. I drink too much at night (after my son is in bed) as self-medication. I can become very cold. I developed feelings for a friend (but never acted on them and never will). I'm no saint.

So I found out that I'm pregnant. We slipped up one night while drunk (smart--I know). I do not want to have a baby. I'm already puking a ton and fatigued at work. I got very sick with my son and either or both of us could have died, and I have about a 20% chance of the same thing happening again. I hated giving birth. It was worth it, but I never wanted to do it again. Plus, my body and mind bounced back quickly with my son and I'm worried that won't happen this time.

But most of all, I'm scared of being a single mom with a newborn having to pay alimony. I know how selfish this sounds, but I want to be with someone who loves and respects me. I would prefer that be my husband--but if we don't last, I am still young, successful, and attractive, and I want that with someone. What are the chances if I have a kid and a newborn?

Tim would prefer that I terminate, but is supporting whichever decision I make. He doesn't love being a parent and doesn't want more kids.

But I keep thinking about how much I love my son and how this mass of cells will eventually be a baby that I will love too. I don't want to have this baby but I'm scared that I will regret it forever if I terminate.

So I've decided that I need to make a life decision. If I terminate, I need to move forward with divorce. My husband looked me right in the eyes and said "do something about it" when I was upset that he wouldn't get a job. He refuses counseling. He does a lot of little things for me, rubs my feet, runs out to satiate my cravings, and is my best friend...but it's starting to feel more like a friendship with sex than a marriage.

If I have this baby, something needs to change in my marriage. I need to give it one final serious attempt.

The family member I've told have said they will support either decision but that they would completely understand termination. Of the three friends I told, one also said she'll support me either way, but that any reason I have for wanting to terminate is valid. The other two said I should have the baby, as it will be good for my son and they think I will ultimately be happy.

My head is not clear. It's full of hormones and stress and emotions. I feel trapped and scared. I'm terrified of getting sick again and having to go through that horrible labor again. Of having another premature baby that might not end up as healthy as my son did. I'm scared of being single with a newborn. I'm scared of staying in marriage longer than I should and waking up one day at 45 wondering where tf my 30s went. And I'm sick of the nausea and vomiting and fatigue. But I know I will love this kid. It would be good for my son to have a sibling. And I don't want my marriage to fail. I'm lost.

tl;dr: I need to either get an abortion and a divorce or work on my marriage. Husband refuses to get a job but I'd like things to work out with us. What do?