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Foosball and the Edwardian era go together like albatrosses and OPEC -- nonsensically, because no sane person would think there was any sort of logical connection between them. But that didn't stop them from combining their powers like deranged Wonder Twins to form "A Game of 2 Halves," a speed dating experience with more arbitrary rules than most cults.

First, couples are paired up to play foosball. You probably already figured that out, but be patient for the sake of the slow readers, OK? Next, you have to choose a fantasy pseudonym to go by, like Lady Audley or Captain Constantinos. That, along with optional stick-on mustaches, forms the Edwardian portion of the evening (although it seems they're a little lax on name enforcement, as I don't think Sir Cookie Crumbles or Sir Cycle-a-Lot were actual members of the aristocracy).

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The first (and last) of his name.

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Addressing other human beings by ridiculous fantasy names is fine if you're speed dating in Azeroth, but it's tough to pull off in reality without breaking into a mocking accent and wondering if you should have saved your time, stayed home, and e-masturbated with the gnomish shaman who claims to be a bisexual dance major.

Then there are the rules -- you can't ask anyone how old they are, what they do for a living, or how much they make. That's fair (especially since my answers would be "young enough that I should have better things to do," "write crude jokes for the Internet," and "not enough to pay for this beer, so if you could do me a solid ..."), but the enforcement of said rules with yellow and red stickers is a bit much. The last thing people attending the Speed Dating Game of Doctor Moreau need is to have a referee plant a red sticker on their chest and declare that they've been banned from the pursuit of love.

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"That's a penalty for discussing religion! Step 10 yards away from your date!"

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The moderator helpfully suggests other topics, like how you eat your cream eggs (there's the real window into the soul) and what celebrity you'd want to be your butler, because that fits with the Edwardian theme, kind of, I guess. Presumably they also ask you what your favorite opium den is and which of the colonies you think produces the finest silks and spices.