Indian brothers do have a very special relationship with their sisters. Nowhere in the world would you come across a ceremony like Raksha Bandhan or Bhai Phonta. These festivals not only bind a brother and sister in a loving lifelong bond but also put the brother in the role of the protector of his sister from harm or dishonour till she is married. Hence your husband's attitude towards his sister is nothing unusual. That is the manner in which Indian brothers behave with their sisters according to Indian tradition and culture.



What is unusual however is your thinking that your sister-in-law has usurped the place which is reserved for you as the wife to your husband. As already explained, Indian brothers are a little indulgent towards their little sisters. That does not mean that Indian husbands love their wives any less. Obviously their love for their sisters is different in nature from their love for their wives. One is not a substitute for the other. The fact that your husband stays far away from his sister and misses him a lot is probably a reason for the extra indulgence shown by him. Family ties are traditionally very strong among Indians. Hence you have no reason at all to feel insecure over the affection showered by your husband on his sister. Such emotions, values and intricate relationships have no place in Western culture.



Your sister-in-law also probably feels jealous at the thought that you are the sole recipient of her brother's affections. Before his marriage to you, it was your sister-in-law who had your husband's undivided attention and affection. Hence she behaves in that manner. If your sister-in-law has shown you any disrespect, you must talk to your husband about that. Showing disrespect to any person who is older even by relation is frowned upon in Indian culture. Hence your sister-in-law can not be discourteous to you. You should be firm about this aspect. But you should shed your sense of insecurity and jealousy and come to terms with the reality of being married to an Indian man and love his sister as your own sister.