Building Self-Esteem the Right Way

Self-Esteem could be a weird subject to attack because there’s many ways to approach it. I can bet such as myself, there’re days where you feel your self-esteem tumbling and you feel a great budge of wonder. You question your values about the world and wonder about life and death.

It’s common to compare ourselves to other people who own jets, swim in cash, and have supermodel bodies. Not to mention it never helps to be on Facebook watching other people live amazing lives you wish you had.

The other day when I went to the gym, I couldn’t help but continuously be reminded of my small body after comparing myself to the dozen body builders bench pressing weights twice the size of me. But self-esteem goes further than just comparing ourselves to other people or questioning our existence. It’s the root to what builds self-confidence, self-respect, and self-actualization.

A common assumption people make is that the path to self-development starts with self-acceptance, and in some cases that is true. But before one could accept their well-being, they need to control their self-esteem. It’s what allows them to maintain their own self-respect. It’s what prevents someone from being defeated by disappointment and social acceptance.

The importance of self-esteem starts by knowing how to recognize your own personal principles. Every day, people are persuaded to do things they don’t want to do for the sake of being accepted into a social group. They allow others to determine their life’s value and would forsake everything they believe in for the mere sake of being valuable to someone.

But it doesn’t end there.

Those who suffer from low self-esteem are bound to experience envy, resentment, self-criticism, and hypersensitivity to criticism. Rather than simply ignoring a simple comment or an opinion they see online, they let it take the best of them and dictate their attitude. They waste their energy fighting a battle that can’t be won and often try to lower the self-esteem of other people.

But how does someone experience low self-esteem? It isn’t born in just one day. It accumulates from years of negative experiences that forces you to question your self-worth. Examples would be self-loathing, experience failure in a negative way, and constantly deal with criticism. And like a snowball, every negative experience builds up the longer we let it roll down that infinite hill.

For most people, low self esteem is developed during their childhood because they weren’t given enough affectionate attention by their parents. While at school, children compare themselves to other students. They compare their social skills based on how many friends they have, if their parents were better than other children parents, and who had the best summer vacation.

For other people, their self-esteem is challenged during their teenage and college years. Even if they had a happy childhood, the moment they arrive to High School or College, their world can completely change. They suffer through the pressures of social acceptance while dealing with the annoyance of adults. They go through the early stages of puberty and hormone changes while searching for anyone who could understand them.

When I enrolled into a new High School Freshman year, it was difficult adjusting into a new environment. Unlike Twilight, I didn’t meet any sexy vampires or werewolves who fought over me. I had to find ways to be accepted because I felt alone. (And hanging out with the teacher during lunch wasn’t happening again.) I didn’t have my childhood friends with me in my new High School. It was like being thrown in a jungle and I had to search for a tribe for survival.

Whether it’s molded during our childhood or teenage years, maintaining a healthy self-esteem requires receiving appropriate attention, being listened to, being spoken to respectfully, and accepting our past achievements and failures. This combination of experiences is what builds someone’s self-esteem the proper way. However, if you deal with low self-esteem,

Building Self-Esteem the Right Way

1. Take Control Of The Small Things in Your Life:

When dealing with low self-esteem, we forget to do the small things that naturally build our self-confidence overtime. Take care of yourself as you would with a child you were raising. And that starts by eating healthier if your diet consist of junk food and microwavable products. Exercise at least 2 – 3 times a week to bring more oxygen into your body. This also increases your metabolism and build your energy.

2. Spoil Yourself:

There’s no enjoyment out of life when you’re constantly working with no time to rest. So from time to time, forget about the world’s problem and only attend to what makes you happy. Don’t think too much about your finances when you want something nice. But be smart in your spending because you don’t want to buy a porsche when you know you don’t have the money to keep it. Treat yourself well with either a day at the spa, new shoes, a massage, or a bowl of ice cream.

3. Make a Vision Board:

Since we went to kindergarten, we might as well exploit some of those old skills. So pick up a few magazines and cut out the pictures of things that you want. If you want a beach body, cut out a few sexy body image you’d like to have and paste them on a board. If you want a certain type of car, cut it out from a car magazine and paste it on there. This gives you a visionary view of what you want and this subconsciously tricks your mind to believe you already have them. This will then naturally make you walk towards that direction to ensure you acquire those goals. So once you create your board, look at your board daily and know why you want the things you pasted on there.

4. Help Another Person In Need:

You don’t have to do anything big like buying someone new clothing or volunteering at the homeless shelter. Just a smile and a few kind words is enough to lift someone’s spirit. It’s easy to assume everyone around us is living the perfect life because we’re not constantly with them. But people deal with issues everyday and sometimes just need a friendly greeting to keep them going. By just examining the minor details on a person, provide them with a positive compliment such as, “I like your new haircut,” or “I love your shoes.”

5. Spend Time With People (But Only Positive Ones):

If you have friends who are kind and generous, spend time with them. Although we live in a world full of negativity and hatred, there are still people who see the world in a positive light. If you know someone who makes you smile, try interacting with them more. Spending time alone is healthy, but like anything, too much of a good thing could eventually turn against you.

In final thoughts….

Don’t wrestle with the negative thoughts that repeatedly punch you in the face. Instead of saying, “I always make mistakes and I’m stupid,” say “I’m a smart person who approach situations in a different way.” If you think, “I’m not worth anything,” change that mindset to “I’m a prized procession because I made this person happy by telling her her shoes were nice.”

Tackle negative thoughts with positive ones. It’s easy to give ourselves negative thoughts that lower our self-esteem due to past experiences. That’s why it’s essential to counter it with positive thoughts and reaffirmations to why it’s true.