Somewhere between the name calling and the admonishments to “Google it” lies an interesting argument about the future of marriage, and it kicked off today between Amanda Marcotte and Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto. The two were battling over Marcotte’s piece in Salon analyzing a mother’s letter to the Princeton newspaper encouraging female students to look for husbands while attending college. In part, Susan Patton, a mother of two sons at Princeton, wrote to the Daily Princetonian:

Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there. … Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again—you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.

Marcotte interprets the letter as evidence that casual sex on campus isn’t necessarily for young men’s benefit, but “often more a strategy young women use to delay commitments that they perceive as obstacles to their personal and career goals.” But does Mrs. Patton have a point?

Note that @AmandaMarcotte doesn't show, or even claim, that Susan Patton's letter is untrue. http://t.co/pfzf4vcylJ — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto I'd ask Michelle Obama about how hard it was for her to meet someone suitable after Princeton. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte Mrs. Obama is much closer in age to Susan Patton than to today's Princeton students. — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto I still wasn't sure, so I called my mom's husband, who she met in her 40s. He's Republican, and agreed. Huh. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte I'm afraid you're spinning too quickly for me to keep up. — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto I just find it amusing that you need to believe so badly you whine at someone who doesn't want to marry at all. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte You are emotionally tone deaf: for in truth I have been laughing all afternoon. — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto But here you go: http://t.co/wo0ju4oumL Contrary to your claims, college-educated women marry more, not less. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte To what claim of mine is that contrary? — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto Your actual concern—that women are holding out and getting more equitable marriages for it—is actually true. Sorry. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte Whom do you suppose they'll marry when colleges are turning out 3 female grads for every 2 male ones? — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

Who are you going to believe? Marcotte’s mom or the statistical facts?

@jamestaranto Beats me! Ask the statistical facts that show that college educations make it *easier* for women to meet husbands. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

.@AmandaMarcotte I'll accept "Beats me!" as your final word. But if you'd like to know more, see http://t.co/vraWsjc89G — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) March 30, 2013

@jamestaranto Wow, that's shockingly disingenuous, even for you. I hope your followers know you lied about the statistical facts I gave you. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

Marcotte claims a triumph with her statistical facts, but it wouldn’t be a victory lap without a shot at male privilege.

Awesome seeing @jamestaranto try to convince his followers that his claim that college-educated women can't get married wasn't disproved. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

What? When did anyone claim that?

@AmandaMarcotte I just don't understand why people get so obsessed with when and how people get married demographically. — Rowan Kaiser (@RowanKaiser) March 30, 2013

@RowanKaiser They know women who delay marriage make more money and have more independence, and they want to prevent that. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

@AmandaMarcotte I dunno, it seems more like anxious flailing than anything rational. — Rowan Kaiser (@RowanKaiser) March 30, 2013

@RowanKaiser W/ Taranto, I suspect insecurity results in clinging to male privilege. He overestimates how much women care about his opinion. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

Lesson learned by @jamestaranto: If you claim college women have a hard time finding husbands, better google to make sure it's true. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

@AmandaMarcotte That's just a sexist article. The idea that men are forced by culture to say they like educated women but really don't? Ugh — Peter Sterne (@petersterne) March 30, 2013

@AmandaMarcotte Even apart from the empirical problems, the framing of that article is disgusting (and retrograde) gender essentialism. — Peter Sterne (@petersterne) March 30, 2013

Retrograde gender essentialism? Could someone please translate into terms those of us who didn’t attend Princeton can understand?

@petersterne Don't worry. Most women don't care if a gross weirdo like James Taranto claims he doesn't want to fuck them. — Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) March 30, 2013

Um, thanks.