Someone tonight asked why my friends and I so often comment with the word "Thud", and what it means. When having the Big Talks together, my late husband and I used to say “Thud.” It was our way of saying the right words, in the right way. Our way of letting the other know that we wanted them to have the most comfort from what we said, that we were totally on their side, even if we didn't know exactly how to say that. It was our way of summarizing the feeling written on my wedding dress and inscribed on his wedding ring. "My soul heard your soul." One of the first things I did when I came home was to give our word to our blogging community. So many big things had happened all at once and it's daunting to think of the right thing to say, especially when you're normally good with words. It's easy to be afraid of saying the wrong thing. No one wants to be the person who walks into a forest fire with a birthday cake lit with candles, or the person who brings a firehose to a birthday party. Stories can be hard on the people who are invited into them, in a wholly different way than they were hard for the person who lived them. Not everyone has a gift for walking that bridge, least of all myself. I get it. I literally have no idea what to say that might ease it for you, but I would say it a hundred times if I knew it. I would tattoo it on my skin and spraypaint it on the clouds. I get it. I love you. #Thud. So that's the story of the word. It isn't proprietary or a cliquey anthem. It's just a little sound we share. If you’d like– if it feels right to you– if you need it-- you’re welcome to our word, too. #thud #InstaRarasaur #rarasaurCommunity #rawr #youAreLoved #YouAreFrightfullyWondrous #grief #stories #whattosay