Let's kick things off with a glass of wine in a can…

It's surprisingly simple:

Siphoned from a boxed, of course:

Best of all, it's discreet!

And really helps you calm down:

Time for shots!

Did someone say Shotgun Shot? Now things are getting crazy…

Snack time:

Let's get back to drinking…

How about a spontaneous trip to the beach? Don't forget tequilla in a sunscreen bottle…

Chased with actual sunscreeen…

Because…

On the way home, we'll grab some steaks at Dave and Busters:

Just don't use Charlie Kelly's steak knife:

Finally, it's time for a game of flip-cup:

The loser has to eat an eraser:

Or stickers:

Watch yourself while pumping that keg, bro!

And don't drink too much or you'll get terrible ideas like this:

OK? Now let's relax with a few beers:

Maybe change things up a little bit:

Since we're drinking outside, it's time for the poolside Chinese food:

Don't go overboard:

If you need a late night snack after all that boozing, there's always cat food, beer, and glue:

Or Hot Pockets…

A word of wisdom when eating Hot Pockets:

And please try to avoid pears as much as possible:

For lunch, we suggest a “Grilled Charlie”

Or perhaps a rum ham:

Especially during an afternoon at sea:

If you're having a night in with your best buddy, bring pizza and beer:

Hopefully he shows up:

Drown those sorrows with a keg-stand:

If you want to beef up and cultivate some mass…

Just carry around trash bag full of Mexican food:

See!

Except…

You did it to yourself, Bro!

If Mexican isn't your thing and you're really starving, there's always handsoap and toilet water:

Or cat food:

Or a nice egg:

Or shrimp:

Or chestnuts:

Spaghetti is good…

Because you can take it anywhere…

And what's a trip to Philly without a cheesesteak?

In case of a zombie apocalypse, you can always resort to cannibalism:

Or maybe just monkey:

Get that taste out of your mouth…

Foulness. Time to chill out…

Let's end with a toast to the greatest It's Always Sunny meal of all time: Milksteak and “the finest” jellybeans.

Bro… Do you even follow me on Twitter?

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