I don't care what they might contain

Sausage marketers have it tough. Their product looks like a dick and is likely made from the most unmentionable mechanically separated animal parts. How are you supposed to sell that to kids? You print a snow queen on it, logically.

In Japan you can enjoy small weiners (full stop) with the characters from Disney's Frozen. I just had to buy them and try them out for myself.

Let it go? Not until I chew your pink meat faces.

I found these at Tokyu Store, a semi-upscale supermarket. Imagine my surprise when I saw these two ladies cozied up near the discount beef. Some misplaced ice cream? Nope, Frozen branded sausages. What in the actual fuck. Sold.

Ironically, they're not frozen. They're refrigerated. These sort of chilled mini breakfast sausages are commonly sold widely and are much less salty than their overseas counterparts, and even when grilled or put in a toaster release absolutely no oil. Magical.

Like Olaf said, some people are worth defrosting and grilling with a dash of paprika.

"How can I ever go back to plain old intestines?", thought I, as I skewered Princess Anna right between the eyes.

Seriously though, they're incredibly delicious but difficult to get to a golden brown without turning them into tar. I wasn't able to quickly sear them like the horse ear dogs hotdogs our country runs on (except for 2 states). Still, they were quite satisfying with a side of ketchup, which I also had to add salt to because everything here is too mild and too sweet for my deep-fried Latin pallete.

I'm not sure if this is available in North America, but it seems like princess-branded sausages would be pretty awkward for western consumers. Here? It's all good. The place down the street in Akiba sells 12 pound rubber babies with an adult-sized vaginas, so this is never going to raise an eyebrow. Kawaiiii.

I tried searching for another sighting of this and was greeted by a tale from another universe:

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