When I went to my first American Open competition a couple years ago, my goal was simply just to get my name up on the board and get a total. I ended up getting 6th place. My heaviest lifts and PRs back then are now weights that I frequently warm up with.

I’ve gotten better, but so have all the other girls in my weight class. Thus continues the relentless pursuit to just lift 1kg more than another lifter.

Results of my Lifts: So how did I do this time?

Snatch:

68kg

71kg (a meet PR!)

missed 74kg (matching a personal record).

Clean & Jerk:

Jerked 92kg, but given two reds for a press out

Cleaned 95kg with a rough drive from the squat, missed the jerk

Cleaned 96kg, missed the jerk

The 92kg would have given me a total of 163kg, putting me around 4-5th I think?

The 96kg jerk, had I made it, would have given me the bronze medal.

I left this American Open without a total, and therefore without a ranking or placement. But, I’m actually still very happy with how I did and I think I made the right decision in trying to go “All or Nothing” rather than just try to “make a total.”

I will say that last year at the 2014 American Open in DC that I also bombed out and didn’t make any lifts at all. But the main reason for that was I weighed in way too light because I had this bright idea that I wanted to eventually cut to a 48kg. I’m back in 53kg where I belong so that’s no longer an issue, although I still weighed in the lightest of all the girls in my session (51.94kg).

Quick debriefing of how The American Open is different from any other “local” competition

Locally, there’s probably 1-2 other girls who are basically my competitors in my weight class. I currently share the New England records with another 53kg lifter (I hold the clean & jerk record at 95kg, she holds the snatch & total record).

Therefore, unless she is also at the meet, I basically end up dominating my weight class and also coming close to winning “best overall female lifter” based on sinclair.

Local competitions, to me, are opportunities to land a higher total to put me in a better qualifying position for the A session at a national meet. Because of the lack of close local competition (and high sinclair in my region), I usually end up lifting all of my lifts at the very end of the session and either end up following myself (and getting 2:00 rest between lifts), or having a brief rest if someone else who is a heavier weight, or a close competitor happens to also be there to lift similar numbers as I.

With national competitions – all of a sudden everyone in my session is the same weight class as me and therefore also lifts very similar numbers. In fact, you might see up to 8-10 girls all trying to lift the same amount of weight on the bar because that’s simply where everyone’s capabilities are, but also because of how they are strategizing to lift “just one kg more” than the other girls.

Because everyone is lifting such similar weights, the waiting times between attempts can really vary – from following yourself to waiting 20 or 30 minutes just for 3 more kg on the bar depending on who misses and who makes that evening. Being able to keep track of attempts and following other lifters is enough of a stress itself, in addition to just going out there and lifting the weights!

It’s rare that you will see strong PRs at these national meets (although they do happen and are quite incredible to watch) but you will see some lifters having incredibly strong performances and some lifters…not having as strong of performances.

I happened to be in the latter group (from an outside perspective), but inside, I felt like I was in between the two groups. Yes, I didn’t make any clean and jerks, but I felt like I still had an incredibly strong performance.

The Positives: What Worked Well That Night.

Positive #1: Snatching:

I made my first snatch!

…and the second one!

(and I almost power snatched over 140# in the warmup area)

I love starting a competition with a lift made because it gives me confidence to make the next few lifts. I think in the end, I could have made the 74kg snatch had I took another attempt because I think nerves just got to me because I would be attempting to match a PR…or a lift that I had only done once in my life.

Positive #2: Dealing with the Time Change

Reno, NV is in the Pacific time zone…that’s 3 hours behind where I live. Thus, with a late lifting time of “6:30pm” I would be lifting at the equivalent of “9:30pm” Eastern Time. I don’t even workout around 6:00pm in general, but usually in the mid-afternoon (4:00ish).

We arrived in Reno two days before, so to “prep” myself for being awake during the time change, I did some mobility, stretching and yoga up through 9:30pm both Wednesday and Thursday night. I think this immensely helped to transition me over to the change in time in the short number of days I was there.

Positive #3: My Body-Weight at Weigh-In:

Usually 3-4 weeks out I start to really micromanage my diet, and was definitely hovering around 52.5kg in the weeks leading up to Reno. I know many women in the 53kg class tend to stay over 53kg as long as they can before having to cut water weight last minute to make weight. I happen to fall on the lighter end of my weight class due to my height and body type so I tend to have a little more freedom with what I can eat.

I ended up weighing in at 51.94kg, which wasn’t too light, but I could have definitely eaten a little more. When I got to Reno, I definitely didn’t feel the need to overly “restrict” myself, but I did watch my portioning and tried to keep it consistent to what I normally eat at home…because you know restaurants tend to give you waaaay more food, right?

Positive #4: I had donuts on my singlet:

Donuts! I make my own singlets because I hate being boring. This singlet has gotten me the most positive feedback yet. Sorry, not yet able to mass produce for sale unless you’re also a 53kg 5’0″ lifter.

(I did not end up eating donuts during my post-lifting re-feed. I choose a gluten-free brownie instead. Actually, I ate a salad first).

Positive #5: Overall Decisions in What Lifts I Would Take:

I think the snatch numbers that I took on were solid and on point. I don’t think that I would have make 73kg had I went 67kg, 70kg, 73kg because my 3rd attempt miss was more of a “nervousness” issue, not a “strength” issue.

During my clean & jerk warm-ups, I wasn’t feeling nearly as strong as in the snatch, so I decided to move my start to 92kg instead of a planned 93kg. I don’t know if going up to 93kg would have resulted in me not pressing out my jerk or would have mattered now looking back, but I think it would have slightly decreased my wait time between lifts.

Following that “miss”, in hindsight, I’m incredibly glad I decided to jump up to 95kg rather than take 92kg again. Why?

Because I’m a competitor, and I decided to go for it with an “all or nothing” attitude. If I made the 95kg it would take me that much closer to the podium. In fact, if I made my 3rd lift of 96kg, it would have given me the bronze spot on the podium!

What does 4th, 5th or 6th place really…REALLY mean to me in the end in this type of competition? Well, it means that I just “played it safe” and I didn’t take any risks. I KNOW what I can lift, and I have the opportunity to show that in many local competitions. I’ve already proven what I am capable of doing. So, what’s the point of a national competition then?

The end point of a national competition (such as the American Open or Nationals) is to try to finish on the podium and get to the top. It’s not just “to make another total.” I’ve already qualified and shown my potential – now I just need to show that potential where it REALLY matters. This is a different kind of pressure – it’s no longer necessarily lifting to “make a PR” (although some people do!). It’s to lift 1kg more than the others regardless of if that was a PR for me or not.

I think that’s also why so many other girls also bombed out as well (it wasn’t just me!). The pressure at this type of competition is astounding.

Though in the end, I honestly will tell you I didn’t cry a single tear (Nate can vouch for me). I shot for the toughest target and just ended up missing this time around.

Looking Back – Why Didn’t I Make These Lifts?

I’ve clean & jerked 96kg in training a few times before, and cleaned it twice in two different competitions (Nationals and New England Championships). I’ve also jerked 100kg before.

So why wasn’t I able to make the jerk this time around?

First off, let me tell you how I felt during both the 95kg and 96kg lifts (which were similar): The weight was manageable off the floor, but once I had the bar racked and stood up, I felt slightly dizzy, out of focus, overheated and lacking that “bounce” of energy that I usually get with other clean & jerks.

I probably missed due to all these variables:

They gave me two reds on my first clean & jerk due to the slightest amount of “press out” – which was basically bowed arms before I locked out. This put a huge damper into the rest of my clean & jerks. I feared missing the jerk, or “pressing out” the jerk” – and that fear probably contributed to why I missed the jerks at the end.

The time change was starting to drag on me. It was about 8:00pm there, which meant about 11:00pm EST. Clearly, I’m not used to working out that late (even at 8:00pm EST) and I think my body began to shut down because well, it’s used to getting ready for bed at that time!

My nutrition & fuel probably wasn’t quite right. You know me…I’m a big advocate for habits and minimizing variables the day of – but of course being away on travel without a car or a grocery store nearby and having to rely on the food available at the venue, my nutrition and food wasn’t exactly the same as it always had been. I had a different kind of yogurt, meal, post-weigh-in meal bar and other things. I didn’t have my usual drink mixture with me during the session. Any of these nutritional variables could have contributed to my lack of drive and energy in the jerk.

I weighed a little lighter than the other girls in my class, though I feel I was still adequately eating enough for meals (I had a huge omelette and fajitas earlier that day!!). 51.94 isn’t too bad…I’ve weighed much less before, but I still could have used another 2lbs of fluids or fuel in me before weighing in. Have no idea what to expect on the real scale though, as the check scale had me in the 52’s the whole time!

I had too much “wait time” between my first attempt and 2nd attempt – one girl missed ALL THREE lifts at 93kg and another decided to jump in and take 94kg so it had been at least 15 minutes since I took my last clean and jerk in the warm up area – and we couldn’t anticipate whether the lifters would make or retake the lifts so I ended up waiting around for 10 minutes longer than I hoped. This probably brought my adrenaline down. It was apparent in my 95kg attempt (was super slow coming out of the squat), whereas the 96kg drove up easier because I had less wait time between lifts and the adrenaline was slightly there from the last attempt.

I wasted energy caring too much about the logistics. “How many attempts left until me?” “What place am I currently in?” “What weight should I increase to?” This is the reason why we have coaches – they take care of this logistical stuff so YOU CAN FOCUS ON MAKING THAT FREAKIN LIFT. But me being all Type A and always wanting to know what’s going on and being in charge of stuff got in the way of putting all my energy into the lifting itself.

While sitting around and waiting, my focus wasn’t clearly on myself and my own performance, but rather how the other girls were doing. I sat there right behind the platform and saw one girl miss all three lifts (who had snatched way more than me), and another miss her 2nd clean & jerk attempt. I put a lot of energy into focusing on what other people were doing, and not into just making my own lift. Wasted, energy.

So, there’s a lot of factors that came into play. I can’t say that one factor dominated the others in terms of why I didn’t make any of the lifts…but it’s all another learning experience. In the past, I would have a lot of other reasons on why I didn’t make the lifts (I was tired, I wasn’t strong enough, my technique wasn’t consistent enough) – but since then I took care of most of those factors. I think the overall trend though, for this particular American Open competition, was that I cared too much (again) about what others were lifting and how others were doing, and I need to focus and hone in on my own lifting.

With every competition always comes new (and repeating) challenges.

Minimize the variables, focus on my own lifts, let my coach do all the logistical stuff for me…the podium will be there. Next year!