Despite some evidence to the contrary, I really don’t spend much time on the Facebook pages of Ray Comfort or Ken Ham. Honestly, I avoid those pits of childish fallacies and moralistic, martyrly drivel like I avoid “The O’Reilly Factor” and Glenn Beck. My sanity can’t take it.

But, nevertheless, I did brave the descent to the Facebook domain of none other than Banana Ray this morning, at the suggestion of one of our clandestine operatives whose constitution is apparently much stronger than mine. Our operative said ol’ RayCo had recently posted a nugget of his world-famous wisdom that he thought we might find interesting, and boy was he ever right.

You see, Ray Comfort — crusader for justice and reason in a dark world that refuses to recognize that the banana, the lack of a crocoduck, and the fact that you can’t be stopped on the sidewalk and make a rose appear out of nothing, is all proof of God’s existence — is again trying to help me fix my fringe view that Christianity and evolution need not be mutually exclusive.

Confronted with the reality that his latest film, “Evolution vs. God,” is so mind-numbingly terrible that even fellow evangelical Christians can’t stomach it, RayCo has pivoted to employ a brilliant tactic called the “no true Scotsman” fallacy. Rather than defend his apparent belief that selectively editing scientists to make them look stupid and using the “Jesus of the gaps” argument are great evangelism techniques, RayCo simply outs his religious critics as not True Christians™.

Because, after all, if I’m not a True Christian™, then it’s really no surprise that I would hate his movie, right? If I’m not a True Christian™, then I’m basically an atheist.

RayCo’s response to my review last week, “A Christian who believes in evolution is like an atheist who believes in God,” was more than enough to convince me of that truth. But the great man graciously deigned to offer us misguided fools even more of his corrective wisdom yesterday, in the following post. Though I would, of course, never think myself worthy to match wits with RayCo, I humbly submitted a response on Facebook, and also touched up the following screenshot with a bit of snarky green text:

This matter has, tragically, escaped RayCo’s attention until now, but any Christian knows that the water cycle — atheistic scientists’ attempt to explain atmospheric conditions without God — is just as unbiblical as evolution. The Bible is clear and consistent: Precipitation comes from God alone, not some messy, unguided process of “evaporation” and “condensation.” See Deuteronomy 28:12, Job 38:22-30 and Psalm 147:8 if your faith needs a booster shot.

Even Jesus said so. In Matthew 5:45, he said, “God sends the rain,” not “Undirected physical processes like evaporation and condensation send the rain.”

And, really, what empirical scientific evidence is there that the water cycle even exists? Have you ever seen water evaporate? Have you ever seen it condensate in the troposphere? Have scientists ever created a rainstorm in their laboratories? No? THEN WHY DO YOU BELIEVE IN IT?

I’m joking here, but seriously, what is the difference? Why in the world is theistic evolution “idolatry,” but theistic water cyclism is A-OK? What is so wrong with thinking that the same God who uses a natural process to send the rain upon the earth, would also use a natural process when he filled this planet with life?

To find out, we may all have to wait until RayCo’s next project: “Meteorology vs. God.”

— Tyler Francke