so for a while now, i’ve been interesting in talking to other men in the pickup community, if not in person, at least over gchat. i thought about doing a “20 minutes with…” interview series, and so i finally did.

i started last week when i interviewed shade zero, and this morning i interviewed dagonet.

talking to shade and dagonet has been really inspiring, and i was trying to figure out why. and then of course it hit me. i have no real life male friends who are into game. most of the men i know in real life are pussies to some extent. some worse than others, of course, but nobody i can really look up to, or learn from.

so yeah, it feels lonely. it feels doubly lonely to not be able to get the girls i want — not yet — and also to not connect with other men who are on the same path, or are already there.

i was impressed by dagonet. he is only 25, and in only two years, he has made tons of progress. i can tell that he is a smart, sharp dude, and that he has already mastered the fundamentals of game. the reward? lots of bangs, and even an orgy.

i am still thinking about stuff that we talked about. for example, D has his sensitive side, but he knows how to manage it. he masters it. he doesn’t let it “get the better of him”, and he doesn’t hate himself for having a sensitive side.

in fact, even more than “he knows how to manage it”, he knows how to use it to his advantage. this is something i have *not* learned how to do yet.

that is huge. and that is just one example.

and just as important, for me, is the feeling that i am not crazy, and not alone. sometimes it feels that way. even in spain, where the feminists aren’t as militant, and then men aren’t as pathetic, sometimes i do feel that i am crazy. i feel like i believe one thing, and everyone else believes something else. it’s weird.

bottom line, i am really enjoying to talking to other men in the manosphere, and i want to do this more. it is helping me. i am learning.

alright, so here is my interview with dagonet from the quest for 50.

20 MINUTES WITH DAGONET

TUESDAY, SEPT 25, 2012

me: first, thanks for doing this. so first question, how old are you now, 25 about?

QuestFor50: Yes, approximately. i just had a birthday.

me: that’s awesome. that is such a great age to learn about all this stuff

QuestFor50: it was fun, but not as wild as my past couple of birthdays. i spent this one with family, so i missed out on some of the game benefits of celebrating your birthday. they were in town for about 10 days including either side of it, so by the time i was ready to party, it seemed like i was past the statute of limitations.

me: oh that’s right, you’ve hung out with other guys from the manosphere right?

QuestFor50: Yeah, it’s something I really enjoy. I haven’t had bad experiences like some guys report. I can usually tell from interacting with someone online or reading his writing whether he’s a cool guy, and legitimately good with women.

me: very cool

QuestFor50: The first time I met up with anybody was in Vegas almost 2 years ago now. I met Gmac and Rookie. VK was there too, but he was otherwise occupied the night I was there.

We had a good time, Gmac and I found a nice pair of girls I opened on the Strip. I told the story on my blog, was close to a notch but got cockblocked by the older cousin/mother hen (Gmac’s girl).

He probably could have prevented the cockblock better by banging her, but she had a boyfriend she was cheating on by making out with him, so she got kind of overwhelmed by the situation and blew the whistle.

me: haha great story. you are in LA right?

QuestFor50: No fault of his own, he was a very solid wing. Very supportive and followed my lead. Roosh‘s inner circle is very disciplined, you have to be a team player. And I only say “followed my lead” because I opened the set, and therefore, that’s what the wing should do in that particular situation. He knew the gameplan. I do live in LA, yeah.

me: wait and so you met shade zero too? and d&p? i am looking over your tweets

QuestFor50: I’ve never met Shade. On another Vegas trip I met FFY (Fly, Fresh, and Young), Jay DeVoy, and Jack Frost (Going Dolo). and D&P lives in Los Angeles, so we’ve started hanging out quite a bit. all very interesting, smart guys

me: damn i am jealous. so cool to have friends in game

QuestFor50: It’s exciting when you meet guys for the first time, it’s almost like a blind date.

me: that can only help you develop. haha yeah i can see that

QuestFor50: You’re kind of nervous about what their impressions of you will be, and whether you can live up to your reputation. And you’re hoping they don’t turn out to be a weirdo.

I’ve been lucky, with both Gmac and FFY, we went out hunting as a duo and they were both awesome guys to collaborate with. They’re the types of wings I wish I had in my home city, because they really get on the same wavelength and propel you forward. They make you better and give you momentum.

me: exactly. very cool. so you are from LA originally?

QuestFor50: I’m from the east coast. Suburbs outside New York City. All my family is still around there.

me: okay. so LA after college?

QuestFor50: Exactly.

me: can you tell me as much as you can about your bio? age, height, looks, job, blah blah. general bio stuff. you already said about 25. also, why you moved to LA

QuestFor50: Yes but I might be a little bit coy to protect my identity somewhat.

me: sure. whatever you can

QuestFor50: I’m 6’0. Jewish by blood, not practicing in any way. So I have a somewhat Jewish/eastern European look. I’m not especially blessed with genetics as far as my looks. I think girls would describe me more as cute or handsome than “hot” if I didn’t supplement with other aspects of game/lifestyle. Maybe like a 6 or 7 on the “guy scale” naturally haha. I’ve obviously enhanced my grooming as much as possible, different hairstyles, facial hair, clothes, working out. I’m more muscular now than ever before in my life, which still isn’t saying much since I was always very skinny/weak. Now I’m like…. medium. And improving.

me: cool. good height. continue

QuestFor50: I went to film school on the east coast for writing/directing. I moved to LA to get into the industry, and I’ve done that, although now I’m more on the business side in a way. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I’m working at a top-level company, and it’s a different track than I anticipated when I moved. But it has tapped me into the thick of things, and has been very exciting and challenging.

me: very cool. interesting. this has to be great for getting laid too. aside from it being a very interesting career path

QuestFor50: Funny enough, I think I got laid more at my last job, which was not nearly as illustrious. It was almost a punchline. It was lower stress and better hours, and I had much more energy and time to devote to “The Game.”

me: yeah, i see what you’re saying. energy is important

QuestFor50: Yeah, it’s really everything. Health and energy.

me: yeah. your last post was awesome. taking a detour. exciting and inspiring

QuestFor50: Ah, yeah. I’ve been catching some flack for leaving it as a cliffhanger and not completing the finale yet.

me: haha

QuestFor50: It’s funny because that event only happened about 3 weeks ago, now. And it was a very powerful, triumphant moment, and yet these things are fleeting. So some days I feel like I’ve lost momentum and my game is weak now, and then I realize– wait a minute, you just did this great thing a couple weeks ago. It’s still right at your fingertips.

me: well said. it seems far away sometimes. that reminds me. continue

QuestFor50: Definitely. Momentum is extremely important, if you aren’t constantly picking up new girls and constantly having sex, you are suddenly held down by a certain inertia, and negative thoughts start to creep into your head.

me: momentum. has a life of its own

QuestFor50: So I think it is best to keep your rotation going if you have a few girls you’re sleeping with, but my current cold streak is the result of me consciously letting go of a bunch of girls. I just grew bored of them, and now I need to work hard to create a new cycle.

me: ahh. the cold streak. hate that. okay, before i get to this: http://thequestfor50.com/the-craziest-night-of-my-life-notch-24-orgy-blonde/

QuestFor50: hahahaha

me: which is incredibly hot and intense… i want to ask you about your overall experience in the pickup community. the main things you have learned. cause overall you are doing really well, wouldn’t you say?

QuestFor50: I love your interview style. I feel like I’m on a real talk show… it didn’t even occur to me that you might be asking about that, but of COURSE it’s like a career highlight that you would bring up. (the orgy)

me: thanks man. i am actually trying to do a good job. this is important! i want to learn from you

QuestFor50: Yeah, overall it has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I was on the verge of suicide, practically, and my best friend came to visit me in California. And the day he left to fly back home, he left Roissy‘s blog open on my computer. He didn’t even know what it was; a friend had sent it to him and he skimmed it, before jetting out.

me: wow. continue

QuestFor50: I was intrigued by the post title that was up, and I read it. I became very upset because it challenged a lot of what I wanted to believe, and yet it so obviously rubbed the truth in about what I wanted to ignore. So it shook me, and I think I cried, and wanted to disprove Roissy’s worldview.

He left Roissy’s blog open on my computer. I became very upset because it challenged a lot of what I wanted to believe.

But I stuck with it, I discussed it with a “life coach” who my mom had gotten me to talk to for a few months, and even though he might not have been the ultimate solution to my problems, to his credit he got me to stop fighting it and be open to the idea that maybe there was something important to be learned from this other perspective. Then a switch flipped, I realized Roissy was right about everything in the world and I could actually change who I was because of it. And I stopped talking to the life coach and just started getting laid.

me: damn. that’s a fucking inspiring story. wow.

QuestFor50: It really was fate the way everything played out. It just came into my life at the exact perfect moment.

me: do you remember which roissy post?

QuestFor50: I honestly don’t remember. Something about alpha males, and how pathetic beta males were. That was deeply disturbing to me, especially because my ex-girlfriend, who was the cause of all my emotional pain at that time, had called me a beta male when we broke up. And I had never thought about that term before and how it applied to human beings.

me: “had called me a beta male when we broke up”. ouch. yeah. well said. this part is excellent: “I became very upset because it challenged a lot of what I wanted to believe,” me too man.

QuestFor50: She didn’t even mean it insultingly. She had been reading a novel about this neurotic guy who referred to himself as a beta male. That actually made it worse, she kind of explained what it was like it was this funny little thing, while completely emasculating me with the description. And then she said, “That sounds just like you, doesn’t it? Haha!”

me: damn. yeah for girls, this is all just a joke. or minor stuff, at least. great story. so very quickly, top game lessons. if you had a 13 year old younger brother, what would you tell him? like your top 5 things

QuestFor50: Abundance mentality, irrational self-confidence, process-based not results-based, accept rejection

Q: so very quickly, top game lessons.

A: Abundance mentality, irrational self-confidence, process-based not results-based, accept rejection

me: wow!

QuestFor50: I’ll go through them each but I didn’t want to forget any.

me: love it

QuestFor50: Those are the things that come to mind first

me: great answer. tell me about the last one. that’s the one i have the hardest time with. accepting rejection

QuestFor50: A lot of the other guys who I’ve met give me props because I’m an “approach machine.”

It’s nice to get compliments, but I think being an approach machine without the right vibe and followup can be foolish.

In truth, if you’re not in the right frame of mind and physical state, your approach is pretty much doomed to fail before you begin.

me: very true

QuestFor50: When I got into game, I taught myself very quickly and internalized the lesson that girls ARE going to reject you, make fun of you, etc. and you need to accept that. It allowed me to realize that I was “bigger” than the interaction that was going on in that moment, and so I trained myself to jump into the abyss and approach often.

me: that’s huge

QuestFor50: Now that I have the Approach Reflex (let’s call it), I can use it even when I’m not really in the right state to successfully close a girl. Which makes it almost more of a party trick. It’s nice to be able to approach all the time, but lately I’ve been doing a lot of approaches and getting numbers that don’t go anywhere.

It can become a band-aid if the rest of your game is lacking. That’s what I mean by an approach machine being foolish.

me: hmm interesting. continue

QuestFor50: At the moment, I need to step back, actually, and regroup. Once I’ve gotten back in the right frame of mind, when I get that cocky swagger back and feel like I’m ready to rape and pillage remote rural villages, then I’ll still have the ability to approach in my toolbelt. And then it will actually be a useful tool.

This is a result of me getting a little too invested in my career, burning myself out somewhat, and losing track of my greater philosophical outlook.

And it’s tough once you’re stuck in that rat race to slow yourself down, withdraw, and regroup.

me: you sound like you really know what you are doing. impressive. so would you say that pussy is a side dish for you right now? or do you want to fuck like a madman, is it priority?

QuestFor50: Well, you know how appetizers are really the best part of a meal? For a while I was able to just eat a buffet of appetizers and it was wonderful.

Now I’ve sat down for these bigger meals and I’m missing out on the fun appetizers.

me: i love appetizers. wait, the bigger meals are relationships?

QuestFor50: No, the bigger meals are my career right now, I’d say. It’s just, the “other things” that you fill your life with.

me: okay got it. so career first?

QuestFor50: It’s become that, but not consciously, and I think it’s my main problem, in fact.

me: or are you just on a cold streak? or both

QuestFor50: At my last job, and at the beginning of this one, I had a detachment from my career. I knew it was just a bullshit corporate thing, so I had a nice cocky detachment that allowed me to focus more on girls.

Now, because I’ve been at this job for a while and have taken on more responsibility, the job has become more “serious” and real to me, without consciously making that decision. And I think that has been the greatest cause of my game lacking lately.

me: right

QuestFor50: I need to remember that we’re all going to die and my job is superficial. I want to be the lion sunbathing on a rock, even just metaphorically. That’s the mindframe I captured when I first catapulted to game success.

me: the “death always wins” mentality?

QuestFor50: Sure, you could say it like that. D&P talked about that recently. The killer always wins the fight.

me: d&p is awesome. so back to your top 5. so you are over getting rejected

QuestFor50: Really it was top 4

me: it just doesn’t bother you

QuestFor50: haha

me: that is great. yeah. i noticed that.

QuestFor50: Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of just funny to me. I know every time a girl rejects me that 1) it’s an issue with my process that I can learn from and improve (therefore it’s a useful experience) and 2) she just rejected an awesome guy who is great with women and could take her on an amazing ride, because she’s too short-sighted to see it

me: that is fantastic

QuestFor50: There is a natural sort of sting if she says something mean to you, but you learn to let it bounce off you. It’s like a boxer taking a bunch. Getting punched doesn’t really bother them after a while.

me: i like that “it’s like a boxer taking a punch”

QuestFor50: I mean, sometimes girls say mean shit because they want to rile you up. So I always assume they are saying it because they want to have sex with me, until the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary.

Really, when they walk away or ignore my texts. But even after that sometimes I’ll try to keep it going just to experiment.

me: this is excellent. one question. have you ever fucked a girl that you had to “work on”

QuestFor50: Yes, quite a few.

me: i mean, that it didn’t click with immediately. i mean, post game

QuestFor50: let me pull up my notches page, hold on

me: really?

QuestFor50: yes completely. First glance, I’d say about 4 (if I’m understanding your meaning). I’m talking about girls who basically rejected me, or made out with me and then stopped responding to my texts.

me: no make out

QuestFor50: There are no girls I banged who I was in the “friend zone” with at any time. All of them knew my intentions from very early on.

me: hmm. would you agree with this statement by krauser: “Do not waste your time on No girls or Weak-Maybe girls. It’s a huge amount of effort for precious little reward. Approach the girls you fancy and if they aren’t giving you fairly positive responses within the first five minutes, just walk away.” http://krauserpua.com/2012/08/04/date-model/

QuestFor50: But just to finish my thought, those are girls who wrote me off as a sexual partner, and then through persistence, I kept taking cracks at them until I got another opportunity, and turned the situation to my advantage. So about 4 of those. I do agree with Krauser, but I don’t follow that statement in practice all the time. For better or worse, I love texting every girl in my phone who has stopped talking to me, just to see which one will randomly respond this time.

me: hmm interesting

QuestFor50: To most of them, I look pathetic. But they’ve already rejected me, so how does this change the situation at all? It doesn’t.

But maybe one of them will have been with a guy for months and just broken up, or be feeling extra horny and bored, and I’ve actually ended up with a couple of extra notches this way for the pretty minimal effort of sending a mass text. You need to sacrifice a little dignity, but that’s true for many aspects of the game.

If you let other people in society define what “dignity” is, I mean.

me: love it

QuestFor50: I felt pretty dignified when I was pulling their hair and fucking them from behind. I felt like a downright gentleman.

I felt pretty dignified when I was pulling their hair and fucking them from behind. I felt like a downright gentleman.

me: that is a great word actually. interesting that you used it. i used to be a real loser because i had too much “dignity”. which really mean, shame. i was way too self conscious

QuestFor50: Haha yeah! That’s so true. Dignity is really something OTHER people define. When I hear the word dignity I think of a stodgy old English butler who holds his head up high while suppressing tears.

me: haha perfect. so another question. you seem to do really well at controlling your emotions, or not getting hung up on girls, or hung up on rejections, etc. right?

QuestFor50: That’s true.

me: i mean, you seem to have a good outlook on girls and game and pickup. it seems pretty healthy to me. but you used to be a “nice guy”, right? you were in love with your gf, etc

QuestFor50: Yeah I feel that way. Sometimes my mom and sister think I’m a robot because I don’t get sad or depressed, or even stranger to them– extremely happy. But that goes hand in hand, you have to stay balanced.

me: you wrote: “I was passive, I was needy, I was emotionally vulnerable”. http://thequestfor50.wordpress.com/2010/08/30/who-is-dagonet/

QuestFor50: Yeah I grew up raised by my mother, primarily. My parents were divorced from when I was young, and my dad– who is the ultimate beta– played a less direct role, though I saw him regularly.

me: my dad is beta too. very beta

QuestFor50: I’m going to do a post on my dad soon. He is a very unusual case. I think it frightened me that I would become him, but now I’ve defined my own path, and my dad asks me for advice about things.

But yes, I was about as sappy/romantic/beta as they come. I stayed with Longterm, the first girl I ever had sex with, for almost 5 years.

me: yeah

QuestFor50: And most of that time was just because I was terrified and clung on.

me: 5 years is a long time. yeah. so “I was about as sappy/romantic/beta as they come.” and now you have really changed that, it sounds like

QuestFor50: Night and day

me: you are “unflappable”, like d&p said about you in a tweet

QuestFor50: See, but if you fight it too hard, if you’re JUST trying to suppress and hide the beta, then you’re not really stable and balanced. It’s not real.

me: right. hmmm

QuestFor50: So I still allow myself to see that beta in my past who is somewhere in my brain… and I almost respect it in a way. It’s like a child who I have to take by the hand and lead sometimes.

me: hmmm

QuestFor50: Like, “No, man. It’s okay, see? This is how we should be.”

me: ha. like zen. don’t fight it. but don’t let it take over

QuestFor50: And it’s helpful sometimes, because it’s my artistic side. I can still tap into that when I write music, or develop movies, or watch them.

me: yeah

QuestFor50: I understand the idealistic, hopeful side that the beta embodies. That can be a nice thing to not just understand, but feel.

me: i have a huge artistic side, and i find that it can really hurt my game

QuestFor50: So I can still tap into that sometimes.

me: wow. you can really control it

QuestFor50: Yes. I find that usually I am not the artist until AFTER I get the notch. Sometimes I’ll TALK like the artist during rapport… like I’ll describe my art and how passionate I am… but it’s more like narrating a museum tour. I am completely cool and cocky and calm. Not FEELING emotional at all, but when I slowly and deliberately describe my artistic side to a girl, that can be very comforting and sexual to her. and then after I get the notch, I whip out my guitar and actually start crooning like a beta. and they seem to like it.

me: hell yeah. artistic and sensitive after the lay is perfect. but definitely not before

QuestFor50: I had a girl I slept with– Valley Girl, I call her– and we fucked for the first time at my apartment after spending the day at the beach.

me: nice

QuestFor50: And afterwards, I picked up my guitar and started playing and singing, and she looked at me with awe and said, “You really are one of those guys who’s good at everything, aren’t you…” And I just smiled at her.

me: damn. can’t think of a better compliment than that!

QuestFor50: But I was really smiling to myself because I had gotten this whole notch without utilizing one of my great skills. I didn’t need to play for her before sex to get her approval or impress her.

I had enough other tools at my disposal, that this one was just like, a bonus. That was an empowering feeling.

me: yeah. like nietzsche said, “happiness is the feeling that power is growing, that weakness is being overcome”

QuestFor50: Totally. My life coach used to quote Nietzsche all the time haha.

me: so if i meet a girl on the street, and we hit it off, and i get her number, and then she rejects me over text, and i am sad — then what am i doing wrong? #1 not having abundance mentality?

QuestFor50: I think that’s why I’m not feeling that much happiness right now, my power has been about the same for a while. That can be a challenge in the game. Like Roosh said, you need to be the McDonald’s of game, always doing the same effective thing. But sometimes I feel bored of it, like the girl is going to know what I’m saying before I’ve said it, but it’s only because it feels old to me. I need to just trust that she will see the shiny object and fall for the magic trick. Which is true because girls WANT to fall for it. You’re giving them the show they desperately crave.

me: “girls WANT to fall for it.” so true

QuestFor50: And once you start actually banging new pussy, then you feel like your power is growing. The more notches you get, the bigger your harem gets, the more power you have.

So I should focus on that aspect of progress, not so much the actual game mechanics, which should stay the same once you’ve perfected them. Your material should feel fresh and interesting to you, though. You should find things that are really invigorating you at the moment to talk about.

(going back to your question now)

I think feeling disappointed is perfectly natural in that situation, however, if you’re really on a roll and banging other girls, that disappointment will fade very quickly.

Firstly, it’s really about your initial interaction and how you end that. You should be ending on a high note and leaving with the upper hand. That goes a long way. Most text flakes can be traced back to your actual interaction. It’s not the texting that’s the issue. It’s either the initial interaction, or something about her that supersedes everything anyway, like she has a boyfriend she didn’t tell you about.

me: hmm. right. well i really like this part: “I think feeling disappointed is perfectly natural in that situation,” right now i feel sad and angry and hurt, but then i try to fight that sadness and anger. instead of just feeling that disappointment

QuestFor50: You can’t dwell on it, that goes back to abundance mentality. You need to have other plates spinning.

me: true. but then i feel doubly pissed. at her, and then at me

QuestFor50: This ties into momentum as well. If you have no momentum, each one of these very trivial rejections will keep you down.

me: at her for rejected me, and then at me for being a loser

QuestFor50: It will dishearten you and slow you down.

me: yeah, momentum

QuestFor50: But if you had just banged a girl, you wouldn’t care as much. You’d go about your business, and maybe get another girl’s number instead of dwelling.

me: so true. in a way, it comes back to feeling less. or leading your beta like a child, like you said

QuestFor50: The really fucked up thing, is that the girl would probably sense somehow that you were fucking another girl and didn’t give a shit, and then she WOULD text you back!

me: that part is SO TRUE. that’s why i keep blondie around.

QuestFor50: I’ve seen it a million times now.

me: like training wheels. like a safety net

QuestFor50: I feel like there is some invisible wavelength that every girl has a radio in her brain for, and when you are ROLLING in pussy, they all get the bat signal and know to swarm you.

me: haha EXACTLY. it’s like mojo

QuestFor50: I’ve seen girls CRAWL out of the woodwork when I’m running hot. Like… how does she even have my number?

me: girls can smell pussy juice on you

QuestFor50: Like… two months ago you said I was a fucking loser, and now you’re texting me asking if I want to grab a drink? It’s crazy.

me: haha. great attitude. so these are the top four: “Abundance mentality, irrational self-confidence, process-based not results-based, accept rejection”. what’s #5

QuestFor50: Haha I saw that question and I literally just said “Shit…” out loud. This feels like a pop quiz.

me: haha! or whatever other lessons come to mind… i am learning here

QuestFor50: I’m not sure #5 can be summed up in another convenient phrase

me: right. i hear you

QuestFor50: I think I’ll have more insightful things to say if we talk about specific scenarios or questions. That will bring things up more organically.

me: right

QuestFor50: Are there any of those 4 you want me to expand on more?

me: well i see #1 and #2 going together. if the world is abundant and beautiful, then life is beautiful, so i should be self confident and alive. that kind of thing. and i see #3 and #4 going together

QuestFor50: I think they actually all work together

me: girls are just practice, the key is the process, don’t get hung up on results, and thus, accept rejection as part of the learning process

QuestFor50: The thing is, human beings and our sexuality is so elegantly designed that when you are doing it right, everything is right.

me: yeah. sounds a bit like what yohami would say. the zen of sex. the zen of pickup.

QuestFor50: Well, he is the Zen Master. He would know.

me: it all comes easily if you tap into the right frequency. haha yeah

QuestFor50: Right, masculine and feminine polarity. But in truth, you do need a lot of sub-skills to fit together. This was outlined in Roosh’s post “Death of the Natural” (not sure if that was the exact title)

me: hmm i think i read that

QuestFor50: Simply being alpha can get you part of the way, but now there is a lot of extra stuff you need to learn to survive. Just because of the times we live in.

me: yeah. what i really like is how you control your artistic side. or maybe “control” is the wrong word. manage? guide?

QuestFor50: Quarantine

me: haha. do you call it your artistic side, your beta side, your sensitive side — what do you call it?

QuestFor50: I can relate to you and your writing a lot, because I know exactly what you’re feeling and what you’re aspiring to be.

me: thanks

QuestFor50: When you get caught up in the emotions of being an artist, it’s addicting and you want to keep clutching at it harder and harder, hoping to find some truth in that spiral.

That’s what being an artist is all about, the obsession and the immersion in emotion and heightened reality.

me: well said

QuestFor50: But that can be detrimental to the control you have over your life, and with getting women as well.

me: big time. my “sensitivity” is a huge strength, and a huge weakness

QuestFor50: Not sure where the line is. I guess if you can be completely enveloped in your art and not have ANY spillover of that emotion onto women, it can be a good combo.

Because you’re very aloof and goal-oriented, that can be exciting and scary to a girl.

me: not as an excuse, but i think being in LA helps. do you agree? is it amazing to be in LA, or does it have major flaws to it?

QuestFor50: Most people would agree that LA is one of the toughest dating markets for men anywhere in the world.

me: true

QuestFor50: If I hadn’t learned game, I would probably have around 5 or 6 notches by now, mostly with ugly girls, or maybe I’d be married. I’ve only had one 1-night stand in Los Angeles. meaning, I slept with the girl the day I met her

me: right

QuestFor50: LA is all about logistics, and they are very hard to master (which is why it is all about logistics)

me: good point

QuestFor50: It’s a spread-out, driving culture, so you know where you’re going and where you’re going to end up in advance. It does not foster spontaneity much.

me: yeah. i am thinking of the movie swingers

QuestFor50: The culture itself is not spontaneous at all. Everyone flakes and resists committing to plans. I think it’s because girls are secretly hoping they’ll get asked to go to a movie premiere or a party at a celebrity’s house at the last minute.

me: haha. continue

QuestFor50: Funny, but it’s true. Also, every girl has banged some D or E-list “celebrity” and now thinks she has a golden pussy.

me: ouch

QuestFor50: So it can be EXTREMELY brutal. Most of the girls I’ve slept with in LA are from the suburbs, or have lived very sheltered lives outside of the main “scene.”

me: interesting. good answer then. more opportunities, more girls, but more fucked up stuff too. makes sense

QuestFor50: Yes. The orgies are top notch, at least.

me: ha! you know i just read that story. i hadn’t read it fully before. it’s an amazing story.

QuestFor50: It truly was. It’s like, before that, I was living this life on the edge but I didn’t have any really GREAT stories to prove it. So I feel like my experiences just caught up to the mindset I had. It was pure luck to be in that place at that time, but in my mind, it was like I had already had orgies.

I feel like my experiences just caught up to the mindset I had.

me: yeah. it confirmed your “abundance” mindset. have you had other orgies since then?

QuestFor50: I haven’t had any orgies since then, but I’ve kept in touch with the host couple, and if I find another willing girl, I can jump right back into that scene. Unfortunately my girl was only in town for a week, and is back in the midwest.

Funny enough, she texts me all the time and says she misses me. And I’m thinking, “You miss me? We met at a fucking orgy!” But we hung out like 4 times on our own that week, had a lot of sex, and we did have a good time. She’s a really sexy girl.

me: awesome. i love that it all started because you just approached some people and said, “you guys look like you’re having a great time”. easy confidence, baby. well done. after a different girl tried to reject you. that is so huge

QuestFor50: Yep. I’ve had a few of those success stories where I had some setbacks during the night, and just kept going against all odds. It’s amazing what will happen if you just keep going.

It’s amazing what will happen if you just keep going.

me: i love that. it’s like fucking rocky. inspiring

QuestFor50: And that approach has worked many times. Just smile, match their energy, and say “You guys look like you’re having a great time!” It’s infectious. I think I just stumbled onto it because it felt natural, and then I realized I could use it again.

me: brilliant. it takes a lot of self confidence to do that. a deep feeling of security and self worth. and then of course, there’s the orgy itself. that is money. bad ass. the free love thing, very cool.

QuestFor50: Yeah it was wild. As I said, I kept expecting people in Eyes Wide Shut masks to jump out of a closet with knives. But yeah, the free love thing sounds hokey but I meant that very sincerely. When you’re in that moment, if you have the right mindset, you can tap into something very tranquil and beautiful.

me: yeah. very cool. no hate, no jealousy, just giving. something like that, right?

QuestFor50: totally. the other guys there were great examples i took a lead from. completely generous and warm.

me: exactly

QuestFor50: And thankfully they didn’t touch me or my cock. Just shared their women and wanted me to enjoy myself.

me: reminds me of that saying, “hell is a dining table with tons of ood and with long spoons and people try to feed themselves and can’t, and heaven is where they feed each other”, something like that.

QuestFor50: And the people in heaven feed each other

me: yeah

QuestFor50: yeah, that was in some movie or tv show. forget where i heard it

me: so your power is growing. what a transformation man. are you working on your book?

QuestFor50: I believe I heard that story on the show Louie. which is one of my favorite TV shows. So my book is going to be called The Quest For 50, Volume 1. and it will basically be the stories of my first 25 notches, with some stuff as an intro and outro

me: sounds perfect

QuestFor50: and only about 10-15 of my notches have been told, I stopped telling them on my blog to save them for the book. And for the book, I will be refining the stories and reframing them to help show my progression and the way my life changed and grew as I went on

me: sounds great. like i said, what a transformation. so you are writing the stories as you go, right? just not publishing them

QuestFor50: And I still have 25 to go, so who knows what I’ll be on the other side of that. I made detailed notes on almost all of them. But once you make a name for them and add them to a list of “notches” they are pretty firmly etched in your memory. I could recite pretty much all of them and tell you the story sitting across from you, just from living them. I don’t have enough that they’re really hazy yet.

me: nice. so you are not worried about forgetting them.

QuestFor50: No, I think some entries will be longer than others, but they are all clear in my mind. Some of them just have fewer interesting aspects to discuss, maybe just a few details of note. They’ll probably range from 1-10 pages each

me: well i will be first in line to buy it

QuestFor50: Thanks a lot, man. I’m pricing it at $97

me: haha shit

QuestFor50: just kidding, obviously

me: 🙂 last question before i have to go to work. what are your goals for the rest of the year. just off the top of your head. stream of consciousness style

QuestFor50: Well I’ve matched my new notch total from last year already (7). I was on pace to get a lot more and then stagnated.

I’d really like to get my positive game momentum going again, that is my top goal.

But I think there are a few things that will tie into that. My hobbies and lifestyle. I want to be writing and playing music, maybe performing. Going out more, with friends, solo, whatever. More events where I can meet and hook up with girls.

I also have one major project at work that I can’t go into detail about here, but that is very important to me, and has been the biggest anchor tying me to my job, and making me focus more on that.

me: very cool. continue. music is awesome

QuestFor50: I’m very passionate about it, but I don’t need to get as hung up emotionally as I’ve been. In fact, some detachment will probably help me make the project a success. I’m a little too wrapped up in it now!

me: i am way too attached to my photography. gotta be more detached. so 7 lays this year. nice. and 7 last year. very nice

QuestFor50: Yeah, I’ve made out with around 35 girls this year, all things included (old/new etc)

me: damn!

QuestFor50: I’ve been keeping more careful records this year so I can look back at the end and analyze.

me: love it

QuestFor50: I don’t think it will be a tool that changes my results in any way, it’s more just for fun, so I can spit out numbers like that one. Which is pretty enjoyable to do, haha.

me: you’re talking about your music?

QuestFor50: I’ve had sex with I think 11 or 12, because I slept with a bunch of old notches repeatedly this year. just 7 new ones

me: oh right, even better

QuestFor50: So yeah, I’m a musician, i’ve been in a few bands, always just as a hobby. Last time I was in a band, I was still a total beta. But I got a few makeouts from it. Girls definitely had a reaction. Plus now I want to be a lead singer/guitarist, instead of a more secondary role.

me: yeah. primary role

QuestFor50: I haven’t really put the time in to get that off the ground, but I think it would be a lot of fun and a great experiment at this stage in my life.

me: nice. game taught me to take more “center stage”

QuestFor50: I get a real thrill from performing, I definitely get stage fright, but it’s the same as approach anxiety. Looking off the edge of the cliff and leaping is a great joy in itself.

me: exactly. overcoming fears. that’s a huge part of life

QuestFor50: Definitely! you need to enjoy the spotlight, and even invent a spotlight when there is none there. Girls find it so viscerally sexy if a man always thinks he’s the center of attention (which their hindbrain assumes is from years of actually being the center of attention)

me: great advice: “you need to enjoy the spotlight”. alright, last final question, any “new” blogs that you have discovered

QuestFor50: Hmm good question

me: meaning, aside from the big ones, any new sites you read.

QuestFor50: let me pull up my google reader and look. VK‘s new site comes to mind, NexxtLevelUp. give me one sec.

I don’t have anything brand new to plug, but I will say that a guy who is often overlooked, and is still one of my all-time favorite game bloggers is Paul The King.

me: oh yeah, i read a few things by him which i liked

QuestFor50: He doesn’t post too often anymore, but if you just add his feed to get updates when they’re posted, it’s really worthwhile. Really funny style, but very blunt and to the point.

me: i think he wrote to “radiate” alpha, a phrase i really liked. paul the king. will check him out again

QuestFor50: He just cuts right through all the bullshit, and says, “Do this and you’ll get laid. Don’t do anything else or make excuses.”

me: found it: http://paultheking.wordpress.com/2011/01/02/radiate-vs-demonstrate/

QuestFor50: Danger & Play also just launched a site called Juicing For Men. I haven’t gotten into the juicing craze yet but it seems like a worthwhile endeavor.

me: ptk: “the word demonstrate makes it sound try hard.. almost like you have to “work to prove yourself”. yeah i gotta start eating healthier. juicing is awesome

QuestFor50: D&P is a good friend and a bit like a mentor/Yoda figure to me right now, so I think anything he does has some merit to it.

me: he is in my top 5. yohami, roissy, krauser, d&p. so cool that you met him.

QuestFor50: So I’m still in the running for #5?

me: haha you made it! i can relate to you

QuestFor50: Fuck yeah!

me: and it inspires me to see how good you are doing

QuestFor50: If I had to offer some grand statement summing things up right now, vis-a-vis what you’re saying about our kindred artistic spirits, it would be this:

I had to truly hit the darkest depths in order to let go and shed who I was, to rebuild myself stronger.

me: love that. continue

QuestFor50: I guess it’s about shattering your frail ego and just learning, and taking action without any ego.

me: love that. my ego is so fragile. i need to get over that shit

QuestFor50: Then at a certain point, you develop a new ego that is well-earned, plus you are always inflating it by irrationally loving it and feeding it.

me: yohami talks a lot about ego. and ricky raw. he’s the man too

QuestFor50: on the inside, you still can’t have too much ego, or at least, you need your ego to be tied into your masterful PROCESS rather than the random results

me: awesome

QuestFor50: you should take true pride in your process, like a scientist

me: exactly

QuestFor50: the results, fuck it. the cards fall where they may. I also have a poker and blackjack background that helped me understand those lessons.

me: not be battered around like a ship in the ocean, high on results, low on results, like a fucking leaf in a hurricane.

QuestFor50: We can delve into that in our next interview, haha.

me: definitely. dude, thanks so much. this has been great

QuestFor50: Likewise, it was my pleasure.