10 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Bisexual Girl in a Mono Relationship

1. “Oh, so you're straight now that you're with a man, or lesbian now that you're with a woman?”

No, no. I'm bisexual. All the time. When I go to the toilet in the morning I'm bisexual. When I make myself a coffee I'm bisexual. When I buy that polka dot dress I can't really afford I'm bisexual. When I date a boy I'm bisexual. When I date a girl I'm bisexual. When I date someone genderqueer I'm bisexual… It doesn't change. Saying that a relationship with one gender automatically makes me straight or lesbian, even though I'm capable of attraction to more than one gender, is like saying that my sexuality is now entirely focused on that one person. Like I'm now “Laura-sexual” or “Brian-sexual” or whatever. Which means that someone exclusively attracted to women could easily be “Lisa-sexual” or “Jane-sexual” or whatever if they're just with one woman. Nah. Doesn't work.

2. “Does your partner know you're bi?”

The happiest relationships for bi people to be in tend to be the ones in which they don't feel the need to erase their identity and history just so they don't upset their partner. Keeping your bisexuality from your partner is pretty much the same as someone lesbian or straight deciding to pretend they've never had any exes and never had a crush on anyone but their partner.

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