Ayo whattup… Its ya boy Big Ghost aka the new Russell Simmons aka Acrobatic Chromosomes aka the legendary Phantom Raviolis aka Thor Molecules aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Galaxy Knuckles the great aka the mighty Hands of Zeus n all that good shit. Welcome back to the realms of flyness known as the Cappuccino Lounge. Allow yaself to caress the luxurious fur sofas n velvet walls of these paragraphs n enjoy the parables nahmean. Some yall been waitin on this shit for a minute n I apologize for all that. Word yo…its that time of year where we give credit where its due n honor the softest muthafuckas in this here game. Aint no clear definition for what makes a nigga soft b…but the best one I can give yall is its usually got to do wit some corny muthafuckas steppin way the fuck out they lane doin this that n the third to try to prove they NOT some hoe ass dandelion blowers n achievin the opposite effect in the process namsayin. Its some lambs in wolves clothing type shit. So we not here to talk bout will.i.am corny ass or Bruno Mars or Flo Rida… Them cats do what they do n stay in they lanes. That shit dont necessarily affect nobody really. Some yall be cryin foul cuz Macklemore won the Grammy that Kendrick shoulda won n he did it by makin songs bout homosexual lovin n shoppin at thrift stores n whatever (AND BY NOT BEIN BLACK)…yet nobody really tryna light his ass up or throw him on a list like this. Fam…in this hip hop shit…what duke was sayin was like jumpin in front of some bullets usin a tablespoon as a shield. Homie said YO WE SHOULD LET GAY FOLK GET MARRIED N YO BTW I COPPED THIS FUR AT GOOD WILL…NOW IMMA DO A SONG BOUT WHITE WALLS ON MY WHIP. Call that shit calculated or foul or whatever….call the Grammy voters some clowns for favoring white artists…but dont tell me dude soft. Not gon say I agree wit his beliefs or not cuz thats a whole different convo but you gotta be brave as fuck to be on that shit yo. NIGGA YOU WANT MEN TO MARRY MEN AAAAAAAAND YOU ROCKIN SECOND HAND GEAR???!! YO YOU BRAVE AS FUCK FOR A RAPPER B. That nigga Flo Rida be makin some the most wack ass songs on the planet but 1) dude look like he be dead liftin volkswagens n 2) he dont go from makin his hoe ass dance songs to bein on some YO IMMA BUST NIGGAS IN THEY HEADS IF THEY COME AT ME WRONG type shit. He jus stay on some Barney the purple dinosaur shit n be makin songs for drunk people wit bad taste in music n low standards in life nahmean. So thats some outlines for yall so you dont gotta get confused n wonder why Justin Timberlake suit n tie ass not on this bitch but such n such nigga is. Thats actually a perfect example of what Im sayin tho bruh… The grown man JT who stays makin his little grown man records n dabbles in that blue eyed soul shit jus doin his thing n gettin his paper bruh. That lame ass cornrow rockin fuckboy from the early 2000s who use to go outta his way to niggafy his whole corny boy band image never ever got a pass…yanno? If he was still that dude he woulda been top 5 on this shit. Anyways yall get the point n if you dont who the fuck cares… Its my list. If yall dont agree you can keep it movin. Go scroll thru 100 slides on a Complex list or some shit. So without further ado lets go down the list of this years honorees n whatever…

10. Mike Will Made It – Not gon lie b…I fucks wit some Mike Will Made It produced shit here n there…but you wanna talk one-dimensional corny ass lame dudes that stay hypin up some wack ass culture vultures n opened the floodgates for the Katy Perrys n the Biebers to get on some coon shit its some muthafuckas like Mike Will Made It who do that shit yo. But what more you gon expect from somebody who actually be enjoyin puttin whatever his equivalent of a dick is anywhere near Miley’s lobster claw lookin ass. Standards on a negative HUNDRED…THOUSAND… TRILLION my nigga. If all it took to have this house nigga ever so whipped was a 86 lb snowthot who looks like Justin Bieber’s long lost twin brother how you gon expect this trick to stand tall when the revolution come? Get this shuckin n jivin ass deformed Bun B lookin muthafucka outtahere bruh.

9. Lupe Fiasco – Nothin against the homie Wasalu but he need to get his mind right yo. Son is on some wild insecure shit…actin like he done read every book ever written n be like a 87th degree black belt in over 14 different martial arts forms… Like he wasnt at the local YMCA takin Kung Fu classes like some regular niggas be doin. Nigga you wasnt sparrin wit stunt doubles from old Run Run Shaw movies durin ya childhood n pullin rickshaws in Shanghai n gettin paid in wontons…sleepin on hot dim sum baskets n steel chopsticks to learn how to ignore pain n whatever. You wasnt wrestlin komodo dragons n catchin scorpions wit ya teeth…or some shit that goes beyond what regular niggas learn at they little Karate dojos. Like FOR EXAMPLE I personally been conditioned to ignore the signals from my brain that that tell my body that a sword done pierced thru my flesh n shit like that nahmean. You aint on that level bruh bruh. If you was then how come when it come to shit that really matters…like not comin across like a fuckboy on social media sites you jus cannot do that shit yo? M’man Lu be doin sucker shit all damn day b… Homie be like the kid at the playground that breathes thru his mouth n always be outta breath n brings all his toys out to make friends n then get mad n take all his toys home n cry a bucket of tears into his pillow n then draw pictures of all the muthafuckas he gon slay wit his lightsaber someday. Dont get me wong yo…son can rap but he be actin like a bird…lockin his twitter n shit like that. The nigga also be dressin like a combination of Ellen n Morpheus yo. Anytime he out in public he be lookin like he jus got outta a long term relationship wit Erykah Badu. Except he aint did that. Stop all foolishness son.

8. Hopsin – This corny nigga gets a lifetime pass for INFINITE fuckouttaheres bruh.

7. Roscoe Dash – This nigga so weak n delicate that a slight breeze from somebody walkin by him could knock him over yo…. Nigga lighter than a Japanese paper lantern or some shit. You could probably poke a hole thru him witta rolled up newspaper b. Ionno what it is but anytime I see this nigga face I jus be feelin violent namsayin. I wanna smack him so hard that Sierra Mist gon shoot out his ass n spiral the nigga body n make him cartwheel for like 5 or 6 city blocks…lookin like those colorful water sprinklers little white kids be jumpin thru on they lawns in commercials n shit. I still aint never allowed my ears to be tortured by any more Roscoe songs or verses ever again after the All The Way Turnt Up shit but jus knowin this nigga still allowed to make music is enough reason for me to be feelin some type of way n say enough is enough yo…

6. Kid Ink – Only thing worse than actually being a degenerate like Chris Brown or Tyga is being a hybrid of some degenerates like Chris Brown n Tyga. Ionno who started this trend of skinny ass cats gettin as many tattoos as they possibly can n coverin every single inch of they fuckboy bodies wit ink before they 18th birthdays but that shit done run its course b. Second of all if you gon be that frontin ass sucker that gets they whole torso inked up wit all types of shit that dont mean one muthafuckin thing to you jus so you can feel like you really some type of belligerent muthafucka after that….have the decency to not call yaself “Kid Ink” doggie. Like you jus gon ride that gimmick n act like you really the ONLY tatted up little nigga weighin 78 lbs runnin round out chea… OH THE SKINNY LITTLE MARMOT LOOKIN ASS NIGGA WIT THE TATS? OH THATS THAT NIGGA KID INK. HE THE ONLY NIGGA RUNNIN ROUND LOOKIN LIKE SOMEBODY HAD MADE A HUMAN BEING OUTTA SOME CHICKEN BONES N CHRIS BROWN’S HEAD. How the fuck yall take this slightly less trash Tyga replica seriously yo? Son…you a knockoff version of one the wackest if not THEE wackest muthafucka that ever inhaled oxygen on this planet. How that sound? To make shit even more corny you also look like a underdeveloped version of the poster child for domestic abuse/human highlight reel for grown man tantrums n Drake’s former arch nemesis hisself. Sons monkey ass looks like how Breezy would look if he was left out in the rain overnight n somebody used a blow dryer to dry him off n the nigga shrunk by 20% or some shit. Never mind the fact that every single this 4:5 scale Breezy replica puts out sounds like he aimin directly for the heart of some 14 yr old future stripper. Fuckouttahere wit all that beige nigga shit b.