i kinda get tired of the whole argument: you guys make everything between men gay–that’s wrong because men can be friends and physically intimate without being gay–saying stuff like that makes it harder for men to be intimate! - in my opinion it’s just a faux intellectual “no homo”

like on it’s face it sounds legit at first: men often feel anxiety about being too physically close because they fear being perceived as gay and this fear is used to police men’s expression of affection. obviously the idea that straight men can’t be intimate and still straight is problematic.

but i also see the argument support shit like: why do you have to make these characters gay, can’t guys be friends? the whole problem with all this though is that gay people don’t have much representation and there’s PLENTY of het male friendships in the media

aside from that, the problem isn’t gay people seeing gayness in other people and things. or even straight women seeing gayness there. the problem is that straight men are homophobic and hate gay men so much that the idea of being gay literally causes them to restrict their relationships with other men. eve sedgwick talks about the rise of modern-day homophobia coinciding with capitalism, and being used to police male gender expression and relationships. this has nothing to do with some random person being on tumblr, “oh how homoerotic!” this has to do with men policing each other’s expression

it isn’t up to me and other marginalized people to fix het men and their backwards homophobia and lack of intimacy by ~not~ seeing something as having homoerotic undertones or reading something as gay to be comforting. unless the person is bullying or shaming a straight male friend of theirs for being intimate with another dude, i fail to see how any of us who are not het men are “to blame.” straight men need to stop fearing being gay. being gay needs to stop being stigimatized. working to end homophobia is the answer. not saying “no homo” in more or less faux academic/social justice lingo