Tuesday, November 10, 12:00 AM EDT Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch the New Twilight Movie

11. Eat a breakfast of Frost Broken Glass Flakes drenched in sulphuric acid. 10. Create a corn maze which reads "Twilight Sucks" when viewed from the air. 9. Remove my fingernails with my Swiss Army Knife then reattach them with salted duct tape. 8. Become a taste tester at Miller Brewing. 7. Start an Internet rumor that Robert Pattinson has died, and they aren't going to finish the movies because of it. 6. Let a real vampire show me what being a vampire is all about. 5. Tell 4chan they suck then give them my home phone number and address. 4. Dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades. 3. Poke out my eyes to see if hidden regeneration ability makes them grow back. 2. Change my WoW password to a randomly generated 64-character string, and not write it down. 1. Drink decaf.

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