thetalkingguineapig:

(contd) I didn’t yell or get angry or anything but I did state that I didn’t want to follow through with the sex. She began saying that I’m transphobic for not wanting to sleep with her. She told me that I shouldn’t consider myself a lesbian since I wouldn’t sleep with women that have penises. She guilted me for an hour until I had sex with her. I hurt because I wasn’t aroused and I felt gross afterwards. My question is, am I really transphobic for not sleeping with pre-op transwomen ?

No, you’re not transphobic. She on the other hand is an abusive asshole that needs to be called out on her behavior, I’m so sorry she put you through that unwanted experience.

She should’ve said something long before you were about to have sex, certainly around the time you expressed your lack of attraction to penises. If she was comfortable with coming out she should have done so and found out whether you were still open to continuing a romantic or sexual relationship, and if didn’t feel safe coming out to you she should have broken it off. What she did was not in any way okay. Even if you had said you didn’t want to have sex for another reason she shouldn’t have tried to coerce you to ”consent”