Being an expecting Father is a strange feeling. We have this date, this target, in which we know our lives will change forever, but until that little head pokes its way out of your wife, we are mostly just 9 month spectators in the physical relationship with our child. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "well you did you part!" after announcing our pregnancy, cliché- yes, but also kind of true. My biggest(!) involvement in the physical aspect of the pregnancy thus far were a few solid months of very frequent sex (I'm not complaining).



Sure, I've tried to be as invested as possible throughout the first 6 months but ultimately I feel like the team manager, just waiting for my chance to get in the game. My lowest point came at the 20 week ultrasound when I threw my feet in the stirrups and lubed up my belly. I'm doing everything I can do to be part of the pregnancy-- attending doctors appointments, becoming as educated as possible, giving frequent hugs and telling Grandparents to take a step back when they become a little too overbearing. But still, it is not the same.



My wife describes with amazement how the baby moves and makes her feel. She has altered her entire life for the betterment of our child's health. Just look at the dietary changes alone-- no hot dogs, hoagies or margaritas (the hardest to give up), all while watching me put away footlongs and Miller Highlife(sssss). The baby changes her so much that she takes weekly photos to document just how different her body looks from week to week. But, as fathers, we can not visually see the change in ourselves, even if one is occurring internally.



So how can fathers work to begin to build a connection prior to birth? While we may not be able to have the initial connection that the mothers do, there are some things that I've noticed help me feel more connected to her.

Touch:

Every night as we lay in bed I hold my hand on my wife's stomach. Feeling the little kicks and punches on my hand is as close as I can get to making physical contact with my baby, and it is comforting knowing she can feel my hand. I also frequently poke my wife's belly button- she hates it, but its how I say hi to my daughter.



Writing:

I have found that writing letters to my baby is a good way of communicating to her. Sure, the words are just on paper, but knowing that one day we will sit together and share the emotions I'm currently feeling is heartwarming. I write of my excitement of meeting her, nerves of changes coming and love her mother and I share for each other and her.



Feeding:

As I mentioned in the Vitamix post, I send my wife off to work everyday with a healthy breakfast. By creating healthy options for my wife, I know I am ultimately feeding nutrients to my child as well. I hope to continue to set a healthy precident once she arrives. Exercising with your partner is another great way to feel as though you are impacting the physical well being of your baby.



Prepping:

We recently bought a new house and are getting everything ready has been overwhelming. However, I find that when I am preparing the nursery and organizing what we need for her arrival, I'm at ease. Quickly the stress fades and happiness and excitement take over. I know everything I am working on is for her and will directly impact her life from the moment she comes home.

Soon enough the day will come where I get to meet my little girl and welcome her into the world, and from then on I know we will have an amazing connection. Until then, I'll do what I do best as team manager- get our star player a water bottle, some dessert and as many hugs as she needs...oh and I'm going to keep poking her belly button to say "hi."