If you’ve reached ten years of marriage or beyond give yourselves a big pat on the back. You may also like to know that couples who stick it out for a decade substantially reduce their chances of getting divorced. However, we can’t be too complacent can we? So let’s look at ten tips for keeping your marriage fresh ten years on.

If you’ve been married ten years see our checklist below to learn ten good habits of successfully married couples – could you still learn a trick or two?

Don’t take each other for granted. We all understand the power of praise on children but it’s just as welcome, perhaps more so, for adults. Let’s face it, none of us can have enough of being thanked, complimented or praised – so get in the habit of dishing out the praise to your spouse and enjoy it when he quite literally returns the compliment. Listen to him. Don’t switch off when your spouse is trying to speak to you. No checking your SMSs or paying attention to the TV. Make him see that he has your full attention. Listen, comment, make eye contact, smile… truly engage with him. Busy couples have so little time, so when you do share a few moments make sure they count. Model the behavior you want to see in your spouse. It’s amazing how catching kind words, regular smiles, passing hugs and other little gestures can be. If you feel you are missing something from your spouse, make a special effort to give whatever it is you want to him and lead by example. Spread a little happiness: Send a loving message to your spouse every day; a note left on the kitchen table in the morning, a steamy text, a friendly call. Find the time each day to show your partner that you care. This little gesture goes a long way. Fight Fair: After being married ten years have you learned how to fight fair yet? If not it really is about time you learned how to argue. Don’t leave things unsaid. If something is bothering you tell your partner; don’t sulk, nag or let it manifest itself in any other way. Your partners cannot always pick up what is wrong, so don’t let the source of your unhappiness end up as a guessing game for your spouse. Clearly tell your partner what’s eating you up. You’ll feel better for getting it out and he’ll be able to discuss the real issue with you rather than get frustrated trying to figure out why you’re not yourself. Accept your partner. You married for better or worse. If he’s going through a bad patch be understanding and supportive. If he changes over the years accept this too. It is impossible to change your partner – far easier to move on with him. Remember, you’ve surely changed too – so don’t harp back to how things once were. Just accept that times change and people do too. Make plans. It may just be for date night, a night out with friends but it could be something more exciting too. How about putting aside a little cash each month for a nice trip out, a mini break or a full blown holiday later in the year? It’s fun working towards something together and making plans. If you don’t have much spare cash just save your small change; maybe have a ‘swear box’ or pay money in when you eat too much chocolate or some other agreed misdemeanor. You’ll be surprised how much you will end up with and then you can have fun planning how to spend it together. Make time for intimacy: Don’t get out of the habit. It’s important to bolster your closeness and connection to each other. Sex issues are a major cause of divorce, so don’t let things slip in the bedroom department. If your love life has become a little stale then find ways to spice things up. Don’t settle for less. Prioritize your pleasure! Forgive each other: Don’t let anything fester. We’re all human and each have our own flaws. We all fight. But those with successful marriages forgive, forget and move on. They aren’t stuck dredging up the same old issues time and again. So find it in your heart to accept the weaknesses your partner has and encourage him to forgive you too. Agree that something you regularly argue over needs to be resolved and if you are unable to agree on either of you having your own way and can’t organize a win-win situation then see if you can compromise, back down or agree to differ. Either way; try to move forward and put it in the past.

Happy marriages don’t happen by accident. Even if you’ve been married ten years sometimes you may need to roll up your sleeves, tackle difficult issues or learn a new way of handling things.

We hope our tips will help steer you towards the next ten years!

Today’s Spousense Must-Read Resource

Fight Fair: Winning at Conflict without Losing at Love





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