Louisa is a trusted commenter New York 8 minutes ago I understand the thrill that comes from telling everyone how great the group you belong to is.

And how those who feel lost, disrespected, etc would be much better off changing so they are more like you.



But however much you believe Trump is a stand in for white men in general, it is a grossly unfair characterization.



There are millions of great guys up there who don't spend their time or lives feeling insecure and trying to undermine women or avoid household chores.



Of there is to a future for any of us, there has to be a future for all if us, men included. Please give this stuff a rest. Flag

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Linda is a trusted commenter Oklahoma 8 minutes ago My struggling working class husband early voted for Mrs. Clinton. I'm happy to say that, even here in the reddest state of Oklahoma, most men I know are voting for Clinton, including my 90 year old father-in-law who has voted Republican all his life. There are a lot of men who can not stand Donald Trump.

The bad news here in Oklahoma? When I voted Thursday, Mrs. Clinton was the only woman on the ballot. Not one of the other people on the ballot, whether senate, house, judges, or commissioners, was a woman. Oklahoma needs to catch up with the rest of the country! Flag

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James Wilson is a trusted commenter Colorado 27 minutes ago Thank you for explaining the men. I am Hillary's age and saw many women take the hurdles you describe. I know that they had to work smarter and harder to achieve work success and be mom or wife. I know that they did it against a background of grousing, overt bullying and sexual harassment. (How rare is Trumpian groping? - Now that we are actually asking, the emerging numbers are horrifying. How did we not look earlier?) What I do not understand is the men and how they felt existentially left behind. I find our modern diverse work space (and political space) invigorating. I find partnering with women and diverse men to be fulfilling. Apparently much of male America finds it scary, demeaning and emasculating. A white guy in Montana said to me that every time Obama talks, he feels talked down to. Was it O's professorial demeanor or that skin only half-white? So being insulted by the existence of a mixed-race professor-president and having to go to the woman doctor and accountant left this guys self-esteem limp.

So if these men learned to collaborate rather than dominate they could get juiced by actually solving problems.

I know oil guys who think that Trump, who has promised to kill alternative energy and climate research, is their last, best hope. Some guys I know think that abortion is bad, worse than shooting up clinics. Some think that the 50's were great and Trump is a time machine. They may not be sexist but are in denial and delusion. Trump is the revealer. Flag

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Michael Florida 43 minutes ago Equating Trump with all men is not only wrong, but counterproductive to feminism and women's progress. Trump is an ego-maniacal, sexist lout and I hate him, but he is not a symbol of all maleness. If we have learned nothing from the Rise of Trump and the angry rhetoric of many of his supporters, it is that only through listening, collaboration and empathy can problems be solved and challenges met. Nothing was ever solved through threats, obstruction and insulting the other side.



And I reject the author's premise that men have to lose if women are to win. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly. I am a 54-year old, reasonably masculine II'd like to think) white guy. Try not to hold it against me. We'll build a better, more progressive society, working together, that way. Flag

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J Jencks Oregon 43 minutes ago What an amazing stream of gross generalizations about population groups.

Women "this".

Men "that".



Sexism = gender prejudice

Prejudice = "to pre-judge", i.e. to judge individuals on the basis of the groups to which they belong, (gender, ethnicity, physical ability...) rather than on the specific qualities of each individual

This article is a long stream of prejudice.



It also completely ignores the complexity of the American electorate.



According to a Washington Post article of October 16, Trump and Clinton are tied among male voters and Clinton leads Trump by 8% among women voters.



Frankly, I find it bizarre that ANYBODY would consider voting for Trump. But I find it downright frightening that so many women are prepared to.

Okay, so there are a lot of "angry white males" in certain states, many without a college education... I know that. They've always been there and there's no sign they're going away.

But Clinton leads among women voters by only 8%? What could possibly be going on in the minds of those women?



Kindly stop judging me and those who look like me based on our gender and the color of our skin. Thank you.



(Yes, I am one of the dreaded white males. I am also one who would have voted for the socialist candidate who advocated for single payer health insurance and Wall Street reform if I'd had the chance. But since I won't, I'm voting for Clinton instead.) Flag

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Patrick sheehy Washington, D.C. 43 minutes ago The author makes an excellent point, but fails to consider that many men do not want the more fluid gender roles she calls for. Some do, and they should be free to pursue their happiness in that way, but traditional gender roles provide a sense of purpose and stability for many men who otherwise lack these things. For these men, a move towards greater fluidity comes as an assault on who they are. Flag

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J. Grant Pacifica, CA 43 minutes ago As a male who grew up in the 1970s in a single-parent household, I watched as my mother often worked two or three jobs while raising two children. She never complained about her low wages and didn't disparage my father, despite his frequent inability to pay child support. Four decades later, I am amazed by and grateful for the sacrifices she made. Like Hillary Clinton, she is a feminist who worked hard to make other people's lives better. On Tuesday, we will both proudly cast our votes for Hillary. Not all men were left behind by feminists. Many of us were raised by them. Flag

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Dean M. 43 minutes ago Men have changed. The fact that Sec. Clinton Is going to be the next president will prove that. The question I ask is will she continue to behave like a male politician or will she act as a more enlighten female one. My three daughters and I are hoping for the latter. Flag

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Not Amused New England 43 minutes ago This is a fantastic opinion piece that, as a man, seems so true to me...thank you.



Men create their own suffering when they do not embrace this new way of life; it's pretty great to appreciate women as "real people" but it's also pretty great to have that old male pressure to "provide" and "posture" removed...to share in life's struggles and celebrations, together.



Unfortunately, the term feminism has been received as a threat by too many men...I suggest a term more like "personism" - one that recognizes the benefits to both genders of sharing, caring, and relinquishing "power" in favor of "strength" - because when you embrace your female partner as a "real person", you do become a stronger and happier man.



My wife is wonderful, intelligent, talented, and neither of us follows in the roles our parents lived - and it is, as you state, "a pretty great America to live in". Flag

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AJ Arends MIA 43 minutes ago So, certain men, finding that opportunities for gainful employment are lacking, have gotten angry and withdrawn into their XBoxes and Fox News.



Maybe instead they should be content to raise children and keep house. If women could do it for centuries, so can men. Flag

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Diane

43 minutes ago I've been watching "Good Girls Revolt" -- which brings MY first year as a college graduate in NYC (fall 1970) vividly to mind again. Considering the current election (especially here in NC) I've been thinking a lot along the lines Ms. Filipovic covers here. Flag

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SteveRR CA 43 minutes ago Thanks for your concern Jill, but we are doing just fine and will continue to do so over Hillary's tenure.

We will continue to dominate engineering and technical education. We will continue to run professional, manufacturing and service businesses of all size.

We will continue to dominate the political decision making in states and in the capital.

I venture to bet that we will also dominate Hilary's cabinet and her advisor ranks.

But if this equality tidal wave you have identified can spare us from another four years of the mythical 78% stridency - I will be happy to sign on. Flag

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Realist Ohio 43 minutes ago Progress is painfully slow much of the time, but time only goes in one direction. The fearful misogynists and cultural irredentists can obstruct and gum up the works, but they no longer have any affirmative role. Flag

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OSS Architect California 43 minutes ago The key to transition is to stop separating men and women in childhood

activities and encourage them to play, work, and study together. That's my experience, and here's why that came about.



In the early grades of K-12, women are developmentally intellectually ahead of men, and remain so until junior high school where there is a lot of pressure to "dumb down".



If you went to school in a system that "tracked" students into classes mainly by their IQ development, then you get classes that are typically 1/3 male, 2/3rds female. That's what happened to me. Add skipping grades and you are a young male among significantly older males in the same grade level.



The outcome of this situation is it's hard not to see women as equals. When you do pair-ups and groups-of-four for class assignments it's not by gender.

Women can teach men, by example, about "collaboration" - that's how they work.



Being 2+ years younger than all the other boys in every grade is tough. Your fellow males tend to pick on you (insults and physical assault), if you can't develop some social skills in deflecting this- traits which, surprise!, women can teach you as well.



As an adult I am comfortable around women. They can be just as competitive as men, and I expect them to be. I tend to favor strong "uppity types"; which is definitely the woman I married, and every woman I've ever dated. Flag

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Donald Seekins is a trusted commenter Waipahu HI 44 minutes ago I agree with a lot of what Ms. Filipovic says, but I still can't get the thought out of my head that she is using much the same words that the British used 150 years ago to justify colonialism: "If you Indians dump your superstitions and prejudices, you can become ALMOST AS good as us!" Flag

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ak wisconsin 45 minutes ago basic advice to men by this article: men should embrace the roles women are running away from Flag

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Susan Anderson is a trusted commenter Boston 1 hour ago I think this is a little unfair to men. Some of them are dam' good.



Trump is in a class by himself, and many of his fans are women. How anyone can confuse him with the Messiah beats me, but the look of fainting ecstasy on his fans' faces, combined with his obvious and deliberate destructive awfulness, is disturbing.



However, televangists have the same oily exploitative affect, so perhaps there's a strain of gullibility in those who wish to be deceived.



Nobody is greedier or more exploitative than Trump. Flag

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Mark Thomason is a trusted commenter Clawson, Mich 1 hour ago Women making progress has not meant movement in one direction to some one known goal. Women don't even all want to go to the same place. There is however as a group as sense of direction, and it is not to become just like men.



This article says that, "many traditional feminine behaviors — being polite, cultivating meaningful connections, listening and communicating effectively — and finding that those same qualities work."



Men have changed too, but it has been less to find their own happiness. They are all over the place. Any one man may be clear, but as a group they are confused.



Many women are working on finding their own happy life style, not "having it all" but making compromises about it all to find a happy medium.



Men in general are not yet accepting the need for those same compromises. Of course some are, but it is not yet cultural.



Men are losing out in their own happiness and potential by this inflexibility. The women with them lose from that too, even when men do not try to stop women from finding it for themselves. They are partners, and one partner failing himself fails them both.



I see this in my own children. My daughter is much more thoughtful about her future than are my boys. She is working on it, and they are drifting. There is a sense of seeking a direction among women lacking in men, even if the women don't all agree with each other about their choices. Flag

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Joschka is a trusted commenter Taipei, Taiwan 1 hour ago My initial reaction was that Filipovic certainly isn't describing me. (Well I do have two graduate degrees.) But actually I was just lucky. My mother was born in what is now Belarus and survived 13 years of hell before making her way to Detroit. She, her mother, and her two sisters were survivors. They were tough.



My luck was having a highly intelligent, strong, and very capable mother and oldest sister. So I grew up seeing that women could do anything and everything. Respect for women is baked into my psyche almost from birth.



Why should YOU care about my experience? Because as more women take highly visible positions of power, more boys will find respect for women baked into their psyches too. And that bodes well for the future.



It's too bad that the process must be so slow, but, at least, cultural evolution is much faster than biological evolution and just as there is nothing that can shake my own respect for women, the future will see more and more men like me. Flag

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Outside the Box is a trusted commenter America 2 hours ago The author doesn't let facts get in the way of her victimhood.



Ironically she stereotypes men - particularly European-American men - when in fact men of European descent and, more generally, men in Western Civilization have been the most friendly to the ideas of men and women having the same opportunities. Flag

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Recommend Share this comment on Facebook Share this comment on Twitter Joschka is a trusted commenter Taipei, Taiwan 1 hour ago If only 'most friendly' were actually very friendly in an absolute sense.



You have set a very low bar for men (and I AM one.) Flag

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Recommend Share this comment on Facebook Share this comment on Twitter njglea is a trusted commenter Seattle 1 hour ago Here's the problem Outside the Box. The very idea that women would have to depend on men to be "friendly to the idea of men and women having the same opportunities" is ludicrous. To quote a childhood mantra, "You're not the boss of us." No more. Flag

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njglea is a trusted commenter Seattle 2 hours ago Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton's election will not be a "feminist" victory. It will be a victory for over one-half the population of America - and the world. Women. All Women! The very idea that for some strange reason women have been suppressed for centuries is beyond belief. Women of power are here to stay and at last we will have balance in the world when socially conscious women take the reins of one-half the power. It is centuries - millennia- overdue. Flag

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Richard Luettgen is a trusted commenter New Jersey 3 hours ago The notion that men haven’t changed is nonsense. I began my first regular job in early 1977, as what was called a “data processing clerk” in a 150-year-old savings bank on Wall Street that no longer exists. I was just shy of 22 years of age. I was the youngest (by far) among a number who bypassed the free lunch most days that was provided all employees to sit in on a lunchtime poker game with middle-aged and hard-bitten banking apparatchiks – all of them men. My poker buddies would recount sexual exploits, jokes about women generally and female bank tellers and clerks specifically, and pontificated misogynistically with as much comfort as they managed the dense cigar and cigarette smoke.



Fast-forward just twenty years: I would VERY rarely hear an anti-feminist remark in a professional environment. Fast-forward yet another twenty years: I NEVER hear such remarks, from professionals or even client personnel – even on assembly lines.



Most men have changed DRAMATICALLY in the past forty years as our world has changed in terms of the professional relationships between men and women, and as women have advanced so much in terms of their participation in the labor force and in management. I’m sure you can find a few guys out on a Louisiana bayou or whoever took over the Montana A-Frame once used by the Unabomber; but you can also find a number of women today every bit as dependent as those of my youth. But not a lot.



Men have evolved: the author’s premise is invalid. Flag

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Recommend Share this comment on Facebook Share this comment on Twitter Richard Luettgen is a trusted commenter New Jersey 2 hours ago Dagwood:



Just as Mrs. Clinton has, Trump has developed a persona to allow him to stitch together a constituency that might get him elected. I support him because I believe he can break the logjam of our politics and she cannot. I've also been in the NYC area for all of those forty years, and I know that he's not 10% the idiot that he appears to be.



However, it's politically convenient for a lot of people, even New Yorkers, to pretend that he is. Flag

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Recommend Share this comment on Facebook Share this comment on Twitter Joschka is a trusted commenter Taipei, Taiwan 1 hour ago Yes, he IS a fervent supporter of Mr. Trump and he is as blind to Trump's shortcomings as he is to his own. Flag

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