After a week away, I came home to a mysterious red package on my doorstep. Could this be my very first Secret Santa's gift? Has my online shopping spiraled so out of control that I've, once again, forgotten what I've purchased? Thankfully it was the former, the gifts enclosed being far, far superior to anything I've bought myself in any drunken Amazon haze.

My Santa did her homework, holee shit. She discovered my love of all things Broad City and found an awesome art piece based on the intro credits, even including a functional display easel (which now lives in my office). Still on the theme of favorite shows, she sent me my new obsession- a motherfucking Werewolf Bar Mitzvah t-shirt (Spooky! Scary!), which fits PERFECTLY.

My Santa's next gift focused on my shitty fishing abilities. She gifted me a Fisherman's Scrub Bar infused with Anise oil, which washes off oils from your hands and removes scents that could tip off fish to your presence. Considering I've caught z e r o fish this season, I'm pretty excited to give this bar a try before my next outing.

But wait, THERE'S MORE-

Through some pointed questions and some sleuthing, my Santa also managed to do right by the pets in our home. Eloise, our adorably fractious cat, received a 3 pack of catnip-filled toy joints. These were a huge hit (heh); they were promptly attacked while still being unwrapped and were tackled to the floor. The most thoughtful gift was still to come, though.. My Santa commissioned a crochet amigurumi version of my late puppers Nikita, who passed away less than a month ago at the age of 16. This little stuffed pup looks just like my best friend. After taking a short cry break, I put this tiny friend on Nikita’s memory shelf where it looked perfectly at home.

My Santa is not only generous and super cool, she’s also incredibly thoughtful. I couldn’t have asked for a better Secret Santa for my first ever RedditGifts exchange (or any exchange, really). My Santa went above and beyond the call of gifting duty, truly taking the time to find me meaningful gifts.

Thank you so much for my amazing Arbitrary Day gifts, SadaBourke77!