Alien Vs Predator. Kramer Vs Kramer. Holmes Vs Moriarty. Aristotle Vs Mashy Spike Plate. And now, it’s finally here. Pyrrha Vs Penny. The one we’ve all be waiting for. This is it. The final showdown. This is an episode and a half to discuss, but first, we need to talk about parallel universes. In the universe where this recap calls home aka Remnant-3 - Remnant-2 is the one filled entirely with shrimp - Ruby attempts to figure out just who else is evil, Penny flirts with the idea of becoming a teacher, and Cinder ruins everything. For previous episode recaps check out the RECAP MASTERPOST, but to see how Ironwood becomes my new precious fave, click the KEEP READING below!

Salutations to all those who read, laughed, liked, reblogged, shared, commented, absorbed via osmosis, snorted, sauteed with a side of mushrooms, took a magic carpet ride with, defeated seven evil exes for, suffered through Battle Before Dawn on Hector Hard Mode for, genetically spliced a fly’s DNA with tragic results into, or went in on Aspen timeshare with the previous episode’s recap. Sorry it’s up a day later than usual; had a hard time cracking this one, even with the extra week’s help, so I kept throwing jokes at the wall that wouldn’t stick, felt I needed the extra time. I think it ended up pretty solid, but that could be the lack of sleep talking.

Here we go! We begin twenty seconds before the end of the last episode as Ozpin settles in to watch the show. Or maybe it’s actually in real time, thanks to live broadcast delays. That would be trippy.

And what a show it’ll be! Rigged match-up, destined to end in murder… Didn’t know it was Badminton season again. Our two esteemed fighters today, in what will probably be the last Vytal Festival battle on account of the stadium being blown out of the sky, are our favourite two P-Currencies.

While they run in the same social circles, the two have not actually met before, which didn’t really occur to me until Penny was salutations-ing. It’s not much of a meet and greet on account of P-Money’s nerves, however.

Meanwhile, after what - if we’re still in real time - is like a minute of ominous silence, Ruby starts interrogating Mercury.

She’s no Batman, unfortunately, and he ain’t saying anything but a smirk.

Also failing is her attempt to just bail and find an adult, thanks to an even more ominous version of the mirror game.

The fight is about to begin, but the fear has already set in…

No fear function in Penny’s command log, and she remains as oblivious and adorable as ever, just because it’ll hurt more later.

Up in the stands, Ironwood watches the proceedings with a carefuler eye than Sauron’s. Which isn’t saying much, since that eye was like huge and didn’t see anything worth a damn. Get some Lasik, Sauron. And another eye. Your evil depth perception must suck.

Oh, and folk wondered why Ironwood was just sitting in the stands without an entourage of guards, but, well, you notice who he’s sitting with? His own students at Atlas aka meatshields. Jimmy, you scamp. Speaking of scamps, there’s P-Money’s entourage (Ren is E, Nora is Turtle, Jaune is Johnny Drama) cheering her on.

“Just like Weiss’s sister was… Wait what?!” Yeah, it’s weird to think that they have like, no allegiance to Penny winning at all. They ship Pyrrha/Winning, and they are very dedicated to it. Except Jaune. He’s very pro Jaune/Screentime. And Ren is also big into Cartinelli, so no one tell him about Agent Carter Season 2. Anyway, let’s go to the battle part.

Penny’s dance intro was so adorable, love that rowbit (and Monty’s mocapping behind it I’d wager). In less adorable news, Ruby and Mercury’s staring contest reaches a critical, eye-burning, mass.

Ruby’s opening escape move is to turn into a red missile of speedy death, which is, for the first time, not very effective.

Knocked down, no weapon, bad guy in front of her, time to bust out the Scroll and play some Crossy Road!

Jesus, if Mercury hadn’t already won his villain credentials, this kind of behaviour would be highly suspect! Toying with his prey, cutting off communications; he’s like one dead naked chick away from going full eighties slasher movie villain.

Back in the stadium, Pyrrha goes full five movies into it eighties slasher movie villain and begins to struggle immensely to bring quality entertainment.

Recapping the fight itself doesn’t seem all that productive according to my stupidly escalating wordcounts on these things, so let’s just say Pyrrha tries her best in this opening bout.

But she’s distracted, maybe because of the beach ball being tossed around in the crowd, maybe because of the whole “I’m destined to get my soul eaten and I didn’t even get to bang Jaune beforehand” thing. Speaking of, while Jaune doesn’t cheer like his teammates do -

- he looks plenty worried for her. (Side note: Nora starting off with “Hey Penny” in that cap makes me think of the best line delivery in film history with The Mummy’s, “Hey Benny! Looks like you’re on the wrong side of the river!” Penny. Benny. It rhymes!) It’s looking pretty grim for Pyrrha, especially since her distress is causing her polarity semblance to affect her own weapons.

Yeouch. Worth wondering, however, if it is her doing that, or a mind manipulation from a little sneaky mind manipulation sneak done to subtly knock her off balance even before the big finish… Well, probably not on account of the sound effect not playing, but still, bad Emerald!

To veteran fighter Pyrrha, seeing her own weapons warp like that because she’s losing control must be as demoralising as a kick to the face. And boy do I have a segue for that one!

I don’t talk much about fight animation and stuff, but the best fight scenes have a secret weapon in the form of bitchin’ camera movements. This here little bout of Ruby and Mercury, and the one coming up involving Pyrrha sliding around Penny’s lasers, utilise that stuff perfectly. It’s short, it’s sweet, and I love it.

Ruby? Not so much. She’s finally able to dodge, weave, and use her incredibly handy superspeed to escape. Seriously, if she had, like, the semblance to absorb lightning and gain power from it or something, she’d be screwed.

She hits the ground running, onward through the conveniently endless maintenance hallways to reach her robot love, who’s doing just fine actually. Having a (Jonah in the) whale of a time, in fact.

But don’t bust out the bagpipes and start singing Danny Boy yet; Pyrrha’s bouncing back. Again, the fight animation and camerawork was top, just sayin’.

Cough cough click here to see the Day 5 Trailer shown at RTX AU and before Lazer Team cough cough.

But, in the end, Penny’s got an advantage or eight. Also swords. Swords that can be used to knock Pyrrha’s out of hand, polarity or no. Uh oh.

Penny lines up for the final blow, looking all the part of a puppetmaster, and Emerald makes her big move…

Hoo boy, storm’s-a-coming.

That sinking feeling in your gut? The one telling you make like Lemony Snicket and Steven King told you at the end of their book series’s to do and pull the hell out? Anyone wish they had listened to that feeling, in hindsight?



P-Money refuses to go gently into that good night. She is a four-time tournament champion, and she ain’t losing to some ginger chump. She blasts the apparently hundreds of swords streaking her way with the power of pure magnetism, and everything makes like witnessing a train crash and slows down…

Penny takes to magnetism like David Kenyon Webster took to sharks, and instantly, I feel as though Pyrrha knew, just knew, how badly things were about to go. And that it was somehow Ironwood’s fault.

Or, well, maybe not Pyrrha so much as me. And, straight up, I was SO WRONG. SWORD WIRES CRUSHING LIMBS AND PULLING ON TORSOS AND -

SWEET. ZOMBIE. JESUS. And the sound of Penny tearing apart, my god. What the actual hell.



Hey, remember when I said I seriously doubted anyone would get killed in this fight ‘cause I thought it would be overestimating how dark it would get? Well funk me, am I right? Kerry and Miles did it the absolute madmen hahahahaoww.



How do you even react to that? Penny’s robotic pupils dilate, and she doesn’t even get a last word out. She’s properly trashed, her strings well and truly cut (into her). Wow. For an event most folk were predicting/dreading and all, you gotta admit it was pulled off with amazingly tragic style. Just ow. Only one way to react, really:

I wonder if things are happier in the alternate universe…

Guess not, huh (Real talk, I could’ve had like thirty of those caps and they’d all make me giggle.). Bye bye Pennyfree. You join the long list of sad robot deaths in media. Iron Giant, The Terminator in Terminator 2, Handles the Cyberman head…

Although, real talk though? She’s actually probably fine. She’s a robot. We can rebuild her. We have the technology. They wouldn’t have shown a shot of a white-haired Dr Light-looking gentleman who’s probably her creator (and who’s not Mr Schnee, probably, in the hope that Penny’s not Weiss’s goddamn other sister) reacting to the incident if she wasn’t going to be salvaged and rebuilt in some way. We’re dreading the idea her memories might get scrubbed in the process, but still, Penny 2.0 will be a thing, it almost feels like a guarantee. Maybe even by the end of this volume. Hell, I bet we’ll have her losing limbs and bodies once an episode for comedic effect eventually!

And yes, I’m aware that, to some people, bringing Penny back somehow would cheapen this incident. Don’t get wrong, I’m down for characters staying dead - with one huge-ass exception 'cause I’m still very very bitter, The Walking Dead - and if it helps the naysayers, series writer Miles is too; he said as much in regards to a certain lightish-red character on Red Vs Blue. But definitely don’t underestimate the fact that this death, no matter how temporary, is setting off a domino chain that could cause other, more permanent, ones to happen, so Penny’s return would feel rather… pyrrhic.



The perpetrators of these possible deaths? Well, let’s start with Professor Grimm, in Mountain Glenn, with the candlestick.

And, well, let’s also not discount the emotional damage leading to character development. Pyrrha’s additional emotional guilt aside, there’s an innocent soul that’s just been tainted by this incident, and goddammit if it doesn’t hurt to see her just crumble and start to cry.

“So how’s Ruby doing? To shreds, you say. And how did her Penny die? To shreds, you say.”

As Ruby sobs and we all wish to go into the screen and give her a hug, Mercury finally catches up, and not for a hug…

Now, hold on. I know what you’re thinking: “Why did Mercury leave her there alive?” Well, TJ “Henry” Yoshi, hear me out. What could Ruby do to upset the plan now that require Mercury to bother stopping her? Penny’s gone, the world is watching on in horror, and the plan? Phase Two has now reached it’s penultimate phase. We think.

Unlike the Yang Vs Mercury match, the live broadcast feed can’t just be cut out. No, the world is forced to watch as a queen chess piece takes over their screens. It’s all a very “terrorist sends a message after an incident” thing, and we see it a lot in movies too; V For Vendetta, for example.

I for one loved how this came together, man. Cinder, hanging out at Beacon, doing her speech thing. The key thing about her big speech is that the words don’t have to matter as much as the timing, but still make enough sense that blind panic overrides anyone daring to stop and wonder too much about the speech’s timing as being related to her possibly being behind it instead of what she says. She’s earned this perfect timing too, by building incident after incident, and she spins quite a tale about two warring Headmasters to help it along…

The best part is that we know just how much of it was improv. Cinder knows her long game, but hell, she only found out Penny was a robot a few episodes back. Setting it up so Pyrrha’s magnet powers destroy the robot, then spinning Penny’s very existence as part of Ironwood’s secret plan to take Vale from Ozpin, fixing the Yang/Mercury fight to aid the idea of Ozpin’s own treachery… She’s good. Not some kind of untouchably manipulative chessmater good, but flexibly good, and that’s all she needed. The writer in me can appreciate the equal parts improv and planning, and is in awe that she kept the wordcount in check! The MVP, everyone!

And now the world watches with bated, fearful, breath, Blake and Weiss included.

Yang too, who unfortunately didn’t immediately head off on her quest to find her mother with Qrow to save that plot from now probably being a finale stinger scene. But she has Zwei with her, which is cool, y'know, but not as cool.

Planted seeds continue to be watered by Cinder as she goes on about the idea that Ozpin’s students’s dramatics are a response to Ironwood’s own dramatics, and since anyone who’s met either man knows they are both drama queens, it sounds very feasible.

Cinder still wins as biggest drama queen though, let’s not lie. I love how little she believes a word of what she’s saying, what with “I don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong” spiels and all. It’s interesting, though, she specifically mentions she hails from Mistral, another kingdom on the brink of collapse. Either that’s a lie and just some random namedrop (Vacuo was heads, the coin landed on tails), or this part’s actually vaguely true and part of what actually made Cinder into the person who would make deals with Grimm and start wars to get more power… Intriguing!

But we have bigger issues. The Grimm have arrived in force, Atlas soldiers are being attacked, and Cinder’s masterstroke is almost over.

With one final chilling message about trust, she’s gone as quickly as she came. And while she hasn’t burnt anyone to death lately, Vale’s certainly about to go up in flames. Wow. Your fave could never.

Speaking of faves, poor goddamned Ironwood, man. Still reeling from losing Penny so publicly, getting derided for trying to be the good guy and protect people from threats - from Cinder and fans both, amirite - and now, just trying to keep control amidst alarms and panic.

He… is not successful, but bless his heart. And, side note, Grimm are also well known drama queens in their own right.

In the stands, some familiar faces haven’t run off yet with the rest of the background cast.

Man, as if I needed another great fic idea from this recap, right? Imagine that trio teaming up to fight crime together while having orgies on the side. And speaking of someone who’s been in a few orgies in his day…

That look of sheer pants-wetting worry on Ozpin’s face is new, that’s for sure. More for that “I’ve made more mistakes than any man, woman or child” guilt pile… Also new is the fear on Qrow’s face, as he and Glynda rock up to get their orders.

They’re to head to the city and stem the flow with the power of their combined attractiveness, while back at the stadium, Ironwood considers his retirement plan.

Those plans will have to wait; Ozpin’s calling, and he’ll only accept the “wrong number” excuse a maximum of nine times, so Ironwood can’t dodge it forever.

And here’s a shock: Ozpin didn’t know about Penny. Which kinda took me aback, since I assumed Ironwood would’ve shown her off as a successful aura transfer subject, or, well, as a possible Guardian candidate or whatever! Like, it just seemed obvious that Ironwood would’ve told him way back when, especially after Penny got involved at the incident Ozpin interrogated Blake over… In hindsight it’s another one of those things we assumed as obvious but turned out to not be, and in this case, it just adds to this ugly rift between Ironwood and Ozpin.

Which, again, I just love! They’re both good guys, just with different methods. And Ironwood’s, to bring in his army and go behind Ozpin’s back when it seemed Ozpin was doing nothing to combat Cinder, is now being used against him, and there’s this amazing gravitas to Ozpin spitting that Ironwood better use that army to full effect or its all been for goddamn nothing.

I still love you James, and not just because you’ve been a surprising goldmine for this year’s recaps and I’m suddenly worried you’ll be heroically sacrificing yourself to atone for your mistake in the finale. His fleet, meanwhile, is already screwed, under siege from Nevermores - thankfully we’ve saved from seeing the gigantic wasp Grimm this season.

Worse still, another one of their ships isn’t in communication anymore…

And right now, much like when Pyrrha was about to be mind-whammied by Emerald, we get this feeling in our guts. But it an’t a sinking one. There’s only one reason a certain ship has been targeted, and it all depends on just who’s responsible… and if she’s in a particularly murder-y mood this fine evening.

… It’s not just me who thought Neo looked really goddamn hot here, right? I mean, it may have been the return of her rightful hair, the uniform, the umbrella, or my sheer giddiness about what her presence meant… and that, in her hands was a very familiar bowler hat, held in place by none other than the shiny and new Stevey Mk.III. Dare I dream? Is it finally happening?

IT IS AS THE PROPHECY HAS FORETOLD. OVER A YEAR OF WAITING, EIGHT EPISODES OF PAIN AND ONE EPISODE OF TEASE, BUT HERE HE IS. THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE STAR OF THE RECAP. GIVE IT UP FORRRRRRR…

Roman Torchwick. Vale’s biggest crimelord, half a Clockwork Orange and half a jackass who bullies Pinocchio, Torchwick, voiced by co-director and VA veteran Gray Haddock, has had a quiet year to say the least. Being imprisoned after orchestrating a good old fashioned train-related terrorism scheme and getting his ass handed to him by Blake (Who?) does that, I suppose, and while it’s kind of a shame he didn’t get visited in prison for any Hannibal Lecter-esque scenes of psychological manipulation or whatever, I cannot in good conscience complain about him being back. Because he is back. In black. Well, literally the same outfit, but still, budget cuts on account of budget going towards robots hit the prison ships first.

But still, welcome back Torchwick. To celebrate, we’ll get you cake, a stripper in that cake, some sort of drugs as the icing for that cake, and a loaded Netflix queue with all of the shows you need to catch up on. Oh, and some vague assurance that being captured was all part of the plan, since you’re in a great position to blow some ships up.

And holy hell, he does. He took to those ship controls right away. Either he’s a hella skilled pilot, or a natural Force user who’s just a natural and will get erroneously labelled a Mary Sue because of morons refusing to call every other male character who did the same kinda things the same…

Like, damn, man. When your favourite loveable rogue starter villain starts actually murdering people, that’s when you know shit has gotten real. Wow.

No kidding. Even if he gets put right back in prison at the end of this volume, you can’t say he hasn’t had his fun.

But real talk, don’t put him back, me and this recap need him. And sure he just blew up those two ships, but Cinder’s burning an entire city to the ground so in comparison the dream of a pseudo-redemption arc that makes Torchwick the awkward anti-hero figure can still live! Hooray! #TorchwickForever2K16. Dude, imagine he and Ironwood going on a buddy comedy trip and end up suspects in a murder investigated by Ren, Sun and Coco. Amazing.

Across the town, and to prove that things have officially kicked off, the White Fang finally get into position to join the fun. But where are they, you may ask? Why, they’re at Beacon! Hooray! And who’s leading them?

The man from the moon himself, Adam Taurus. Welcome back to the present day action, Adam, hope you get to have some fun. From what I’ve seen in the preview for next episode? You will. Especially with your new friends…

Slow your roll before you start, TJ “Henry” Yoshi, since I’ve pointed out that red sap from the Forever Fall was a possible lure for the Grimm that got stuffed into those ships, and if it’s not the sap, it’s Cinder. There? Happy? Wanna end the episode? Let’s end the episode.

Nine down. Three remain. We’re essentially set up for a three episode version of the Breach from last year’s finale. Breach 2.0, now with actual death hopefully. All teams coming together and repelling the Grimm at the coliseum and city, stopping Torchwick’s rampage in the fleet, fighting the White Fang at Beacon… Everyone’s going everywhere. Things will get ugly and chaotic, and fast. Chapter Ten will be a set-up and “oh crap oh crap oh crap” battle-y episode, for sure, with Chapter Eleven either a continuation or finishing it up before a calmer, post-incident, Chapter Twelve finale. I’m kinda not going to throw out specific predictions on account of, again, not wanting to overestimate any darkness, but I’m just so goddamned tempted to when it comes to the sure thing: Pyrrha.

Her arc would, I hope, lead to her taking the Fall Maiden’s power to save the city/stop Cinder. It just makes too much sense and seems built up as such; why else establish the idea of the soul transferral and the possible side effects, and then add the emotional distress on top of it? Would Jaune be able to pep talk her in time and save her from making the choice? I’d allow it, but still, the elements are right there! Either she does it to save the day in the finale and then we learn about the side effects right away, or she chooses to after the city is saved for fear of Cinder coming back and we don’t see the effects 'til next season, or she doesn’t get a chance on account of Cinder’s plan of being at Beacon means she’s actually there to steal the rest of Amber’s power from the vault, and she gets there first? I mean, that might be the plan, and then Ozpin gets desperate and pushes Pyrrha to do it before Cinder can and then blah blah… I’m seriously itching to see that payoff, it’s crazy.

Oh, and while we’re talking about Pyrrha? Funny thing happened I thought I’d share. It turns out I started the Volume Three recaps, I vowed to myself not to make anymore “Pyrrha is going to die” jokes, for fear of overdoing it… and I just remembered that fact somewhere around creating the third gravestone joke for this recap. Whoops. My bad. That poor (not yet) dead horse I keep beating…

Soooo… What else is there to say, really? There was a fairly extensive and beautiful World Of Remnant that came out in the gap week, telling the story of the Four Maidens, and that was cool. Or, well, the same story we already heard, just with greater detail of the old man gifting four girls with gold, frankincense and myrrh and then them wondering what the hell myrrh is anyway. So yeah, there’s nothing too crazy in the way of new information in there, just a whole bunch of little things for theorising that each Maiden’s look and personality matches up to certain other characters et cetera, and more possible fuel for the “Ozpin is the wizard” story, et cetera et cetera. Oh, and the Summer Maiden appears to be best girl.

And that’s all from me. I took one of the shortest episodes we’ve had for a bit and made quite the multiple-course meal out of it. Hope the ride wasn’t too bumpy, and that you all enjoyed it.

Either way, as always, thanks for reading. Oh, and, just in case Chapter Ten throws some hell at us, good luck!