Vi8 Fri 08-Jul-11 18:48:39

He's a good man, lovely father, but lives in fantasyland! He's been putting all the eggs in one basket all his life (now late '40s), and has "almost made it" quite a few times, which has kept him going. He's still at it, and I respect his commitment and lack of materialism, but we have two DC, and I'm the main provider. I work part-time and between us we get by financially, but I feel burdened and would also like to devote time to myself and further my studies, for example. I've been dreaming of doing a PhD for years, but it's not going to happen. We have huge rows, and he says he would love to give me more, but just can't get the money together. He just about manages to pay all the bills, while I pay mortage, food, clothes and all the extras. I love him but it's really hard, he just has no initiative apart from what he likes doing. He feels a failure, although he's a naturally optimistic person. It was very attractive to be with someone like this when I was in my 20s, but I'm now 40!!!