“If you’re poor, it’s just because you’re too lazy to be rich.” “If you’re stuck in a dead end job, all you need to do is become a valuable human being and great job offers to get rich will fall like manna from heaven.” If you’ve devoted your life to being a pastor and now you have lost your faith that God exists,... show more

“If you’re poor, it’s just because you’re too lazy to be rich.” “If you’re stuck in a dead end job, all you need to do is become a valuable human being and great job offers to get rich will fall like manna from heaven.” If you’ve devoted your life to being a pastor and now you have lost your faith that God exists, all you need to do is quit and become rich.” “If you have no money and you’d like some help, move to another country, because plane tickets are free and there is no such thing as a lack of money in the good ol’ USA. If you have a microwave and a refrigerator, you also have a life savings consisting of $150,000. If you don’t, it’s because you’re stupid and therefore deserve to die.” “If you’re sick and self-employed and could never afford health insurance, pray and Jesus will heal you. If he doesn’t, it’s because you’re a witch and therefore deserve to die.” There’s no reason for doctors to exist. I don’t need any doctors because I have Jesus.” “Adultery is good and abortion is bad...because Jesus said so. He told me personally.” “Climate change is impossible because Jesus would never let a god like myself do any wrong. I’m perfect, therefore Jesus approves of my pollution.”