By the year 2000, World Championship Wrestling had fallen completely off the rails, foregoing basic rules of pro wrestling like "don't make a 100-pound actor your World Champion" and "it's all make-believe." By forgetting that second rule, WCW came this close to having two of its wrestlers die on the air. Cause of death? Angry horse kicks to the face.

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The setup was innocuous enough, with Chris Candido challenging Terry Funk for the WCW Hardcore Title. The rules of a hardcore match are simple: beat your opponent's skull in with anything you can get your hands on. Oh, and pinfalls count anywhere on the planet, meaning not one millisecond of this match has to take place inside the ring. And, in fact, they take less than a minute to leave the goddamn arena entirely.

WCW, Inc.

Uber customers hire Terry Funk at their own risk.

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Candido tosses Funk into the back of a truck and drives 90 seconds over to a nearby stable. That's the telltale sign your company is going places, when your flagship show airs live to the world 200 yards from an acre of livestock. Once the truck stops, the fight begins, with the usual wrestling weaponry in full supply -- garbage cans, folding tables, bales of hay, and a wheelbarrow full of horse manure, which Funk eats with gusto.

WCW, Inc.

"This company feeds me shit every day -- how's this any different?"

And then, the horses. The captive audience of Mr. Eds are already cheesed off because two angry blobs of flesh are yelling and grunting and throwing things right in front of them. So you can imagine the stress when the two blobs actually enter one of the fucking stables to further do battle. Why do they do that? Because the script told them to, duh. The horse inside that stable, however, is unaware of such scripted shenanigans. All he sees is chaos. He initially does all he can to stay away, but once Funk piledrives Candido and Candido's leg brushes the horse, shit gets real: