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The larger snakes concentrate on the belly or back and give more of a kneading effect, while the smaller ones go off and explore other places like, oh, your face. Seriously, watch as the snakes slither across a guy's eyes at around 0:46 in this video, if you dare.

Via Weirdnews.about.com

Any judge would consider tickling her right now attempted murder.

While the snakes are all nonvenomous, we certainly understand if this freaks you out instead of soothing you -- we can think of dozens of other animals that are more qualified to massage people. The elephant, by the way, isn't one of them.

Via Doseng.org

But nobody tell this girl.

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In Thailand, elephants are trained to do a number of things, from playing soccer to using instruments to stepping on the backs of defenseless tourists, apparently. The Maesa Elephant Camp in Chiang Mai features elephants of the latter type: While you lay on your face, the elephant will place its foot on your back to "help ease your stress." Ninety percent of that stress, of course, comes from the fact that you just saw an approaching wild animal that is capable of crushing you like a slug.

Sometimes the tourists are given the impression that a baby elephant will be doing the stepping, only for it to be switched to an adult one when it's too late to turn back. You know, for comic effect. Yeah, Thailand doesn't do "relaxing" very well. And that might just explain ...