The first thing you should do when trying to help other people stay away from porn is to stop being judgmental. Do not see or portray the situation in a way that makes them bad for what they do. Sexuality is very normal and human. Even most religions teach that it is not anyone’s place to judge their fellow man (but is instead the job of the Creator). It’s also bad to judge people because it tends to turn them off from what you’re trying to do. Many people that might be open to change will become defensive if you judge them and become even more set in their ways.

The best place to start is to talk to the person you’re concerned about. Tell them why you’re concerned. Sometimes, people might not realize that they even have a problem or how their problem might affect other people. If you’re open and honest, you’ll be much better able to reach them and connect with things that they can understand.

Talk to them about the negative effects of pornography. Make sure to use lots of different types of evidence and reasoning though Use real-world evidence, logical arguments, emotional arguments, and whatever else you can. Using a combination of argument types will be best if you don’t know how the person will think about the problem. Just remember to avoid making them feel guilty. They may already be dealing with shame, and you want to ultimately build an environment of support, not make things worse.

Using a new behavior or a new activity is the best way to stop an old behavior in its tracks. If you want to help someone to stop looking at porn, give them something else to do instead. You can try:

Plan for failure. This is a difficult behavior to overcome and it may take time and a few mess ups before things feel right. You need to plan for failure so that both you and the person you’re trying to help don’t become disappointed with the events that happen. Disappointment can lead to harsh feelings and judgement, which might derail the whole effort. Expect that it will take some work and that a change won’t happen overnight. Enlist the help of others to keep you accountable when you don't feel strong enough on your own.

6

Release your feelings of responsibility. Realize that at the end of the day, you can’t be responsible for everything that someone else does. Whoever you’re trying to help, they’re either already an adult or they’re getting to the point where they really just have to make decisions on their own. This is a part of the world that they’ll be exposed to one way or the other and they’ll need to find their own way to cope with it. You can’t control other people and it’s not your responsibility to. If they feel negative consequences after you’ve done what you can to help them, that’s their responsibility. You did what you were capable of and no one can ask anything more from you.