I make videos. The written word is not my weapon of choice. But “Better Together” have left me with no alternative. Let me explain.

I’m a recently-retired video producer. Another recently-retired video producer (aka ‘the wife’) and I decided to make a series of films about how the grassroots of the ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ campaigns were bringing their respective messages to the people of Scotland.

We kicked off by covering Yes Garnock Valley and West Kilbride’s public meeting in Kilbirnie. We contacted the local organisers who were very happy to have us come along, even providing us with a private side room where we could get ‘sound bites’ from the speakers, Dennis Canavan, Shona McAlpine and Alex Bell. Everybody was most welcoming, and frankly they couldn’t have been more helpful.

We’ve released the speeches and the Q&A in their entirety, warts and all, so that anybody interested can listen to the arguments and make up their own mind.

Our next foray into citizen video journalism was to have been the Better Together East Ayrshire launch event on November 1st at the Burns Monument Centre in Kilmarnock. That was where things started to go pear-shaped.

Unlike ‘Yes’ where local groups have a deal of autonomy, everything BT does seems to be controlled from head office in Blythswood Square. We had to apply to David Ross, their press officer, who told us that we couldn’t film the meeting because many in the audience wouldn’t want to be seen supporting No, and that Alistair Darling’s limited time for media interviews had already been allocated for the evening. Also it was too short notice.

“What about the meeting next week in Stevenston, then?”

He said he’d let us know. Now, I’ve been in my former line of business long enough to have a pretty well-developed BS detector and I reckon I know when I’m being given the runaround. So we decided to go along anyway and, if we couldn’t film, take notes.

When we arrived, we were invited to sign in “just so we know how many are here”. Closer inspection of the clipboard revealed it was actually a declaration agreeing that “Scotland is better in the UK”. We pointed this out to the lady on the door, and refused to sign. She looked somewhat taken aback.

For the record, using the ‘count the heads’ method of estimating attendance, we reckon that there were about 90 people there, of whom at least four were Yes supporters. While there were a few there younger than me (I’m 62), the impression I got was that the overwhelming majority of the audience were bus-pass holders.

The platform party duly arrived. Much time was spent having their pictures taken in front of Better Together banners and the meeting was a quarter of an hour late starting. (Funnily enough, the photographers weren’t prevented from snapping the audience. At the time of writing no images from the evening have appeared on the Better Together East Ayrshire Facebook page.)

Eventually the chair called the meeting to order. She didn’t say who she was, so we asked at the end – former Tory Provost of East Ayrshire Stephanie Young MBE. (She was very insistent we included the MBE.) She thanked us all for coming.

First up was a video, a seven-minute version of the clip on the BT website – you know the one. Lots of people saying “We’re all proud patriotic Scots but we’re voting No because we’re better together” interspersed with scenic stock shots of pretty scenery and saltires waving in the breeze.

A perfect land full of happy patriotic white people, warning against the dire consequences of breaking up the UK. No food banks, no ATOS assessment centres, and certainly no shots of Kilmarnock town centre in this video. Life is good in “Better Together” land. And patriotic. And proud. And did we mention patriotic?

First speaker was Cathy Jamieson, the local MP, complete with the regulation pink jaikit. A reiteration of the “I’m a proud Scot, like to see Scotland winning at football, always say I’m Scottish when I’m abroad” theme. Proud of our culture but anti-independence. Worried about economic risks, concerned about jobs, currency, pensions, passports and isolation. We’ll lose our seat at the top table. We’re stronger together. If you agree, get involved.

(Of course, what she didn’t get round to mentioning was that there is one resident of Kilmarnock guaranteed to lose her job if we vote Yes – herself.)

Next up was Jim Hume, Lib Dem list MSP. I felt sorry for the guy. A very unimpressive speaker who read, a bit hesitantly, from a script:

Proud to be Scottish. We put the Great into Great Britain. Pride in the Olympics. SNP have big questions to answer – currency, debt, declining oil revenues, Barroso says we won’t be in the EU, but if we did eventually get in Alec Salmond would only have the number of votes Croatia has, rather than those of the UK.

An un-named food company in my constituency employing 200+ has said that after independence it would have to move south to continue to be able to put Union Jack stickers on its food. What Scottish soldier would prefer to be standing at Edinburgh Castle in a kilt being photographed by tourists, instead of being a proud British soldier in the British Army? Time to stop Salmond’s fantasy politics.

He finished on a rather cryptic comment: “We (which I think meant the politicians) are winning the air war, but we need folk on the ground to win the ground war.”

Then we got Annabel Goldie. (A wee confession here. I quite like Annabel. Although I rarely agree with her, she always argues her case well and cogently – she seems to be able to debate without personal vitriol. If you believe that post-indy Scotland should have a right-of-centre party, it could have worse people than Annabel leading it.).

Bullet points: it was a pleasure to share the platform with the others here tonight. A lot divides us, but we all believe in Scotland’s place in the UK. The UK is a unique partnership which defeated the Nazis and terrorism. It is greater than the sum of its parts. We are prominent in the EU, on the Security Council.

We have nuclear weapons, giving us power, authority and influence. If Scotland gets rid of nuclear weapons, why would it have its principal naval base at Faslane? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the Scots navy headquarters on the the East coast to better protect the oil installations?’

She continued with a selection of Project Fear golden oldies: SNP policy is ‘It’ll be alright on the night’. Oil is a finite resource. Independence will bring currency chaos. We won’t be in the G7, G8 or G20 or on the Security Council. I love my country. That’s why I’m voting No.

Finally the star. The Big Beast. Alistair Darling. In truth, nothing we hadn’t heard before, though some of the emphasis was strange: Biggest decision of our lives. Nats only need to win by one vote, but BT needs to win well. Don’t want to put up barriers.

We were told about the surprise phone call from the RBS chairman saying that if HMG didn’t bail out RBS, they’d be bust in 2 or 3 hours. His “blood ran cold”.

Scary stuff. All this showed that Scotland would have been (and of course I paraphrase here) too wee too poor and too stupid to cope ourselves: Scotland’s population is ageing, so we can share the cost of providing for them among 60 million, rather than 5 million. As part of the UK we have influence in the EU, because the big countries call the shots. This is not like an election where you can concentrate your resources on marginal constituencies. Here every vote counts. Word of mouth is very powerful. People, not politicians will decide it.

There was a strange look in his eyes while he said this last bit. I think it was a look of fear. My wife, independently, wrote “sounds scared” in her notebook.

Finally came the Q&A. Often this is the more interesting part of a meeting, because, particularly when politicians feel they are among friends and the mask slips. The questions ranged from the bizarre (“The polls show that the public are reverting to the status quo. Women are rejecting Salmond 2 to 1. What will BT do with this information?”) to the perverse (“I am a nationalist, but I am voting no because Alex Salmond isn’t offering true independence”).

There were a couple of gems. A tall, rather posh-sounding gentleman stood up.

“I served in the Royal Navy for many years. Could I please ask a question on defence?”

The panel relaxed visibly. “Please go ahead”.

“You say that the MOD will not build ships on the Clyde in an independent Scotland. Why then have they just placed a £520 million order for fleet support vessels with Mitsubishi?”

The silence was suddenly deafening.

“Who’d like to answer that? Alistair? Cathy? Er, I think Jim will speak on that. Yes, Jim is our defence spokesman tonight.”

With that, the hapless Jim Hume was handed the poisoned chalice. “Rosyth would not get jobs if we were not in the UK”, he stuttered. “The home country would be favoured.”

From the floor came “But Korea isn’t in the UK!” At this point poor Jim reminded me of a call-centre operator whose computer has crashed. He re-read his script out loud till the chair took pity on him and took another question.

Then came the point in the evening which both horrified and encouraged me. A man said “It’s all very well for the SNP to go on about Norway and their sovereign wealth fund. I’ve been to Norway. Beer costs £6 a pint there. Can Better Together tell everybody that we do NOT want to be like Norway?”

At this point almost the entire audience broke out in the loudest and most sustained applause of the whole evening. So there we have it. The “Better Together” activists in Kilmarnock, allegedly the least desirable place in Scotland to live, do not want to be like one of the richest, fairest, happiest and healthiest countries on the planet, because that country’s democratically-elected government taxes beer heavily.

(Never mind that with the average Norwegian salary over twice that in the UK, the real-terms difference in the price of a pint is actually minimal.)

At least we know how their minds work. When the applause died away, Darling said “Yes, I know. Some time ago, I bought a round of drinks in Copenhagen (sic). I’ve just about paid off the loan!” More laughter.

As I watched him leave the building afterwards I was struck again by the strange look in his eyes. Perhaps he was reflecting that if Gordon Brown and the wunch of bankers in the city hadn’t right royally screwed everything up, he’d still be striding the world stage, instead of being driven in a Renault Clio through a dark depressing Kilmarnock on a wet Friday evening.

Or perhaps, just perhaps, Project Fear isn’t going to plan.