The difference between Southern Baptists and Catholics is that Southern Baptists are burdened with the belief that every person who hasn't confessed Jesus Christ as their personal savior is going to spend an eternity suffering in Hell. So if Hitler made a confession of faith immediately before his death but Gandhi didn't, guess who's chilling with his homeboy Jesus as we speak? (The answer rhymes with "Shitler.")

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This is why evangelical Christians approach their faith with more urgency than other religious people. In their eyes, invading your sense of privacy or Facebook feed is a small inconvenience compared to living through an eternity separated from God. And back in the '70s and '80s, no one got that urgency better than Jack Chick. Chick had a really good idea -- use comic book art to explain the Gospel in simple books that Christians could pass out to nonbelievers. I can't overstate what a huge innovation the Chick tracts must have been for shy Christians who wanted to win souls for Jesus but didn't want to actually talk to people. The problem was that even though Chick had a great idea, he was certifiably crazy.

I don't mean "he's super religious so I'm dismissing him" crazy. I mean "he thinks the literal Devil in his physical form murders children on Halloween night" crazy.

http://www.chick.com/

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In addition to believing Halloween is a night for human sacrifices to Satan, Chick also has strong opinions about Catholics. Specifically that Catholics were behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and that Jesus himself will eventually destroy the Vatican.

http://www.chick.com/

If the Catholic Church is "The Great Whore" and "Satan's Prostitute," what am I doing with these face tattoos saying the same thing?

Picture an 8-year-old child cherry-picking the parts of the Bible that sound the most like plot points in a video game that his mom won't let him play, and you've got the Chick mindset nailed down pat. Scratch that. Picture a crazy 8-year-old cherry-picking the parts of late-night HBO movies that he caught glimpses of when his babysitter thought he wasn't looking, because Chick was definitely into some freaky stuff that has nothing to do with the Bible. Stuff like Voodoo: