Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Not content with just tearing up the cars, Superman brings down the whole fucking building, and this time he doesn't even warn the workers to evacuate the place -- by now they should know to do that as soon as they see Superman coming anyway.



"I forgot why I was doing this after, like, a minute. But by then I was in the zone."

After destroying enough personal property and putting enough people out of work, Superman decides that the next logical step is to kidnap the mayor, because fuck it, he's Superman, he can do whatever he wants. Superman hauls the mayor to the morgue and forces him to look at all the victims of reckless driving, blaming his policies for all those deaths.



"You had police tracking down rapists and kidnappers when they should have been checking expired registrations!"

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

The terrified mayor agrees to crack down on traffic laws, and the story ends with Superman feeling that he has done a good job when Clark Kent gets a parking ticket.



"I'm still going to have to fry you with my laser vision."

Comic book characters tend to get blander and more family friendly when they hit it big -- in Superman's case, we believe that this was actually a good thing.

For more superhero insanity, check out 5 Superheroes Rendered Ridiculous by Gritty Reboots and 5 Absurd Ways Comic Books Have Resurrected Dead Superheroes.

If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out 4 Climbers Who Gave Altitude the Middle Finger.