It seems like every relationship I've been in in the past 2 years have all been short-term or had an "expiry date". I've been the re-bound, the girl just to keep him company while his family was away, someone just to past the time while they were in school in my city, someone just to past the time while they decide where in the world out of my country they want to move to...

I'm.Just.So .Fucking. Sick of it! Like...I just want someone to want to be with me LONG-TERM. To actually build a relationship with! Not just to past the time or have fun...something serious. Why is that so hard? Am I just attracted the wrong people? Or the right people at the wrong time? Is there something inherit in my very personality or being that makes people not want to pursue something serious?

I know not every relationship needs to be 10/20 plus years and short-term is a thing....but I don't want that when I've been getting nothing but short-term stuff over and over one after the other. I feel like all these guys are wasting my damn time.

I feel like soon I'm gonna develop some sort of weird complex that's gonna make me afraid of commitment when someone does come along that wants to be serious and I'm just going to have it in my head that it can't possibly be true and that I don't want to get hurt again....like, fuck! I wish I wasn't so sensitive and that I was a cold hearted B. I really do. Then I wouldn't care so much.