Casca's Recovery - Part 1: A Message To Guts



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The party was over. And so was the dream recovery.



"Where is Guts?"

"Schierke! The witch is back! How did it go? How is Casca?" Isidoro asked her.

"I... I have to talk to guts. Now. Please tell me where he is."

"Uh, fine then, he's in the backroom somewhere."



Guts is leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"Guts?", Schierke mutters as she entered the room.

"You're back? How is Casca? Where is she?" He instantly walks toward her in excitement.

"Guts, I..."

Schierke was shaken, took off her hat and hold it close to her chest, her eyes being watery.

Guts slows down. This doesn't look good.

"She... hasn't stopped crying ever since she woke up."

Gut's eyes widen in shock. Like a flashback, Skull Knight's words were going through his mind, like an ever repeating echo.

Guts rose his voice, "I... I have to see her! Tell me where she is!" and was about to walk past her.

"NO. Guts!" Schierke too, raised her voice and grabbed him by his arm trying to stop him.

"She is not ready yet", she added with a softer tone. "Farnese is taking care of her. I know it's hard for you, but please be patient."

"I... I see."

Guts lowers his head, wondering if what he did was the right thing.

Schierke steps closer to Guts, clings to his arm and starts weeping.

Confused, Guts looks down on her, surprised at her reaction.

"What? Are you okay...?"

"I know how you feel, Guts. I had no idea what happened to you two", she muttered and looks up to him in tears, "but now I understand"

She smiles faintly.

"You've seen it all...?"

She nods, wiping her tears off her face. He sighs and stares into the room.

"A little witch like you shouldn't see such things", Guts said seriously, placing his palm ontop of her head.

She holds onto him tighter. Sadness, pain, anger, that's where it all came from, she thought.

"Noone deserves to go through what you two have been through", she replies.

She looks at him with a glance of determination.

"You both deserve better and I will make sure of it.

Your path is dark, but your heart is pure.

I'm not going to allow you to succumb to your inner darkness."



"This little girl...", he thought to himself.

"We will take care of Casca so she can..."

Guts pushes her away gently.

"What's wrong...?"

"Little witch, you have done so much for me already."

"Guts..."

"I am grateful you and Farnese have taken the burden to get Casca back.

If you've seen what happened from Casca's eyes, it must be hard as is.

I am not asking you to do more than that."

"But Guts..."

"I just wanted to see Casca coming to her senses. I don't care if she ends up hating me for bringing her back. As long as she is safe and capable to defend herself, it does not matter. I am eternally grateful for all the help. Thank you, little lady witch."

"...you're still crying?"

"You have lost an arm and an eye for her, and you still say those things."



So deeply moved I can't help but cry. Maybe Mistress was right. This is my destiny. This man - I will never leave his side.



"I will check on Farnese. She's been taking care of Casca all by herself."

"Tell me once Casca is ready. I just... want to see her."

Schierke senses Gut's deep yearning and realizes the importance of his words. She nods.

"I promise."



"Casca... how much must you have changed?", Guts thought as Schierke walked out of the room.



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Casca's Recovery - Part 2: Pitfall



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"Casca..."



"I never wanted to come back

Why would anyone do this?"



"Please, Casca..."



"Why is this happening to me?

Why did you have to bring me back?

I don't want this

I want this nightmare to be over

I want to crawl in a corner and die"



Farnese holds tight onto Casca. She thinks of how her own faith was challenged the moment Guts came into her life. How exposed she was when he took her hostage, being confronted with the darkness of the night. How he fought at the tower of conviction, being the only one standing to fight back. In a sense, he was the light in the darkness.



I have to be strong like him now, she thought as she gently stroked Casca's head.



"I never wanted to remember

I wanted to forget and run away

Why did you bring me back!"



Casca pushes Farnese away and sobs.



"Casca... please listen to me.

I know how it feels when your world starts crumbling.

When everything you believed in turned out to be false"



Casca pauses for a while and notices Farnese's tears.

"You... do?"

Farnese nods.



"There was a man who turned my world around. He showed me the darkness around him. Everything I believed in felt like a lie. I was so hopeless and powerless at the mere sight."



Casca stood by for a second.



"But this man, he stood up and fought no matter how hopeless the situation. He is like a light in the darkness. Like a moth I was attracted to his resilience and strength. I wanted him to be my guide, finding out a way out of my own darkness and so followed him.



Well, that man... that was Guts."



Casca squirmed in fear.



"That man... is dead to me."



"Why... why do you say that?"



Casca holds herself. Farnese eye's widen when she received a picture in her mind: A mind-absent Guts forcing onto herself.



"No way. That can't be true... this man... Guts... what have you done?"





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Casca's Recovery - Part 3: Rebirth



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"Master!"

"Hello, Farnese, Hello Casca."

Schierke smiles faintly.

"You stopped crying. How are you two?"

Casca cowers. Farnese looks at Casca,

"I am fine, Master, but I think Casca..."

Casca looks down, scared.

"What's wrong?"



"Can you tell me, what should I hold onto now?

Everything is falling apart

I have lost everything.

I was betrayed by the only men I trusted"

Casca is utterly shaken, holding her face to hide her tears.



Farnese uses mindtalk.

"Master... something bad happened between her and Guts."

"What is it?"

Farnese projects the picture she received from Casca.

Schierke is in shock.



"No... that can't be...

Is that the result of his inner demon?

The result of his feelings towards this woman being corrupted to the core?



I will not allow them to be broken apart."





Farnese places her hand on Cascas shoulder. We know how you feel, Casca. Believe us, we know, Farnese says.





Schierke continues:

"Casca...Please focus.

You and Guts have changed ever since you have received the brand.

You decided to forget while he is being consumed by rage and pain, fendig off the darkness every night.

He would not be this hurt if he didn't care.

Nor would he made it this far without the hope of getting you safe."



Farnese nods.

"Guts fought countless nights trying to protect us from evil spirits. He has saved your life again and again, without any acknowledgement or thanks. He shed his blood for you so you could be unharmed."



"He bled... for me...?" Bitter-sweet memories bubbling up in Casca's mind.



Schierke continues:

"Because the darkness has corrupted him, he harmed the person he loved in a moment of weakness.

But his heart is still good, I know that much. Never he meant to harm anyone, not when his mind was clear from rage."



Schierke notices Casca getting soft.



"He has been waiting for you eagerly to regain your memory, Casca.

He would be more than happy to see you, believe me."



"I... I don't know... if I want to see him..."



"Casca..."

"...what is this?"

"It's mind-talk or telepathy. Only you can hear it. Now listen carefully.

When Guts was in the berserker armor the first time, he would be consumed by his rage and swept away by the current.

I am sure you have seen it.

I was capable to enter his mind trying to get his sanity back.

To do this, I had to remind him of someone he cares for deeply.

And that someone was you.

The thought of you brought him back.

You are someone that keeps him sane.

Please keep that in mind.

Please hold onto each other.

For your own safety and health."



"Schierke... I...", Casca mutters.

"You need time to process everything", Schierke says gently, "We will be in the next room if you need anything."

"Let's leave her alone for a bit, Farnese."

"Yes, master."



Casca sacks down on her knees, overwhelmed by everything.





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Casca's Recovery - Part 4: Reunion



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Guts: She is here?



Schierke: She said she wanted to see you.



Guts: Really...? I... I can't believe this.



Schierke: Don't get your hopes up right now - apparently she's sore because something between you two happened.



Guts: I see...



Schierke: I hope you can sort this out with her, Guts. Allow us to stay there, just in case anything will go wrong. Also, please take off the Berserk Armor. I want to make sure you two can reunite without any incidents.



Guts closes his eyes, knowing very well what Schierke is talking about. "Understood, lady witch."



------



Schierke opens the door. "Ready Guts? There she is."

Via Mind-talk, Schierke tells Farnese: "if anything happens, make sure Casca is safe."

"Will do, Master", Farnese affirmed.



Guts eagerly enters the room. She is back... she is finally back... but is she still the same?



Casca is next to Farnese at the other end of the room.



"Cas...ca...", he mutters happily and starts running towards her. He then notices her being scared, then Farnese's stern look - and stops. Confusion ensues.



"Casca... are you...? Is that...?"



"Guts...", Casca mutters, with very mixed feelings seeing him. Eventually, sadness and anger came over her.



"Why did you bring me back? I wanted to forget, why did you... bring me back?"



"Casca..."



"Why are you doing this to me? First Griffith, then you... What in the world were you thinking? I don't want this, I never wanted any of this. You destroyed everything we had the moment you left... the band, our victories... It is your fault everything is in ruins... I am left with NOTHING. I just want to disappear and forget... You are so selfish..."



"You are right. I am selfish.

I have left everyone I cared for, my friends, the band of the hawk, and even you.

I've left you alone for two years, being on a crusade against darkness, bathing in blood and insanity.

I've left you when you needed me the most."



Farnese: The band of the hawk? Does that mean Guts was...?



"Nothing could possibly make up for leaving you alone in this state.

I swore to myself to never leave you behind ever again, to stop running away from taking responsibility for what I've done."



Farnese: So that's why he...?



"I've left you and I've only hurt you.

The only thing I can do now is to fight monsters.



I just... wanted to see you back, really.

And... perhaps mourn the loss together with you.

I understand if you hate me.

If you want me to leave, I will do that."



Guts turns around.



Schierke: Guts? He's crying?



Schierke & Farnese: Guts!



Casca, moved and surprised at the depth of his realization, slowly walks towards him.



"Guts..."



She touches his back as she reached him, thoughts echoing in her mind:



"You are someone that keeps him sane.

Please keep that in mind.

Please hold onto each other.

For your own safety and health."



I understand now what Schierke told me.

He needs me, and I need him.

He saved me, and by making him save me, I saved him.

We both have lost everything that was dear to us,

and the only thing we have left now, is us.

We both carry a burden no human should take,

and it's best if we carry it together.



He looks over his shoulder. Their glances meet, both soaked in sadness and pain.

Casca walks around him, facing him now.



"Your hair turned white... your eye and arm is missing... Your face... full of scars.

You could have left me, as useless and weak as I was... but... you still came back to save me."



"Do you remember back then, at the waterfall?"



Gut's eyes widen.



"This time is just like that."



"Back then, you too turned around to leave. Back then I said... even if it tore us apart, it would be okay, as long as you stayed." She grabbed him by his mechanical arm.



"Maybe it is time to stick by those words."



Suddenly, she steps back, noticing how he wanted to embrace her.



"Don't touch me just yet. I have not yet forgiven you the times you slipped", she said angrily.



Guts started laughing. This went better than he had anticipated.



"I... I don't know what to say. You are back... I can't believe this."



Casca smiles faintly. A wave of relief filled the room and everyone in it.



Casca... it seem so strange now that she's come to her senses, Farnese thought. "But what am I going to do now...?"