You'll be given room and board on a military base outside of Netanya, Israel (travel arrangements are up to you), where you will undergo weapons and tactics training taught by former Israeli commandos. The website guarantees that you will handle assault weapons like M16s and AK-47s on a daily basis, and you will be required to carry the Israeli Defense Forces standard Uzi on your person at all times, lest someone should ambush you on your way to the bug juice cooler.

You will also be trained in Krav Maga so you can break the shit out of any nefarious arms that foolishly attempt to grab you, and you will be thrown headfirst into dramatic training exercises, such as rescuing a bunch of hostages from a bus, to prove your worth to your commanders.

ICE Army Camp

The aforementioned bus has an odd prominence in most of the website's photos.

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It all builds up to War Night, wherein you and your squad must plan an intricate covert operation and carry it out without getting pretend-murdered by ruthless enemy combatants. These stealth missions could be anything from planting listening devices in an opposing camp to stealing sensitive documents from a heavily guarded installation, easily beating out the paintball game you played at "Big Larry's Ball-Splatterin' Thunder Ranch" or wherever it was you went for last year's team-building retreat. It's essentially a fantasy camp for people who want to be Eric Bana in Munich.

Not many camps can give you PTSD, but a week's worth of Mossad combat experience might do the trick if you spend the rest of the year slumped behind a desk or a cash register. So the next time Joe-Joe from Receiving takes your clearly labeled lunch bag from the break room refrigerator, you can respond with deadly force and hip toss him through the Pepsi machine.

ICE Army Camp

You'll be having flashbacks to that goddamn bus for weeks.